AISubs v3.4
First Neo System Transmission Shot!
Neo System High Tension!
I understand that you are also a fan of high tension.
I know that I am a taxi driver!
I am a driver!
What is the meaning of your dress?
I don't know what you are talking about!
You don't need theory for this kind of thing!
So you are a man and a woman as a driver?
Yes, I am a man and a woman!
There is only man and woman on earth!
I wanted to express this.
Is that so?
But it doesn't mean anything.
It doesn't mean anything.
But you know...
We met again in the bathroom before the show.
No, it was even better today!
When I came in, you came out!
But for a moment or two, I was worried about you.
You were very shy back then.
When we passed each other, you didn't even look me in the eye.
You didn't even look me in the eye, but you didn't say anything!
Of course I didn't!
What are you talking about?
"Ah, Shonben!" or something like that.
I know that!
You don't even look me in the eye!
Now, let's go with "Neoki High Tension"!
Our first guest is this person!
Good morning!
High tension means...
Yes, yes, yes!
A comedian...
Yes!
Always...
Yes!
Listen up!
A comedian...
Yes!
Always has to be high-tensioned!
Shut up!
You're only high-tensioned, right?
Shut up!
You're only high-tensioned, right?
That was amazing!
I just came and left!
I've seen a lot of comedians...
Their usual low-tension...
They're either high-tensioned or low-tensioned!
Shut up!
But today's theme is...
How high-tensioned you can be when you wake up!
I see, I see...
Before I go to sleep, I set up the camera...
I set up the camera by the bed...
And I let you sleep!
Yes, yes...
But as soon as you wake up...
As soon as you wake up, you do something!
You do something...
This is pretty harsh!
Well, today...
We have a button for you...
Yes, yes, yes...
So you can watch a video now...
Yes!
And now...
You can press that button!
I understand!
Now, Yasuno-san!
Yes, here's the video!
This...
Turn it on!
Yes!
Now, let's watch it!
Yes!
Nice to meet you!
I'm Higashino Koji!
Right now...
I'm in a hotel in Kyoto!
Why...
Why are you here?
What I'm going to do when I wake up...
Is this!
It's a limbo dance!
First of all...
Wake up!
Aim for high tension!
I'll do my best!
Who are you looking at?
Not bad.
(Laughter)
I have to send this a little early.
Because I'm sleeping perfectly now.
It's six in the morning.
(Laughter)
I'm sorry, but I'm sleeping now.
(Laughter)
You have a bad sleeping habit.
It's bad.
It's the first time in ten years.
It's the first time.
I can't move at all.
(Laughter)
I'm shaking.
(Laughter)
My legs are shaking.
It's six in the morning.
Have you slept for about three hours?
I slept for about three hours.
You move a lot!
(Laughter)
It's nine in the morning.
What time do you get up?
What?
It's almost nine in the morning.
Are you getting up at nine in the morning?
What?
(Laughter)
As soon as I woke up.
(Laughter)
Exercise.
(Laughter)
What are you doing?
(Laughter)
Hurry up!
(Laughter)
Hurry up!
(Laughter)
Take it off!
Hurry up!
(Laughter)
I can't do such a high thing.
(Laughter)
I can't do such a high thing because I'm a neophyte.
Oh, I see.
(Laughter)
My body is stiff and I can't do it.
(Laughter)
Oh!
(Laughter)
The best! (Laughter)
That's all. I'm Ryoki. High tension king.
(Laughter)
It's not high tension at all! (Laughter)
I'm going to sleep. (Laughter)
What do you think? Do you really think so? Do you remember?
I don't know what to do. Wait a minute.
Oh, by the way, limbo! (Laughter)
Anyway, you have to do it.
Now, then, everyone, how was it?
Let's go! Switch on!
(Music)
Wow! (Applause)
I don't know what it was like.
Isn't it good? I don't know what will happen to the next two.
Now, let's go over there. Thank you very much!
(Applause)
Let's go! The next two are these people! Please!
(Music)
(Laughter)
You do it again.
(Laughter)
Today, I appear in front of you.
Did you see the first one, Mr. Higashino?
You saw it behind me, didn't you?
I saw it.
How is it compared to your own?
Foreigners are originally noisy, aren't they?
I see.
Genetically.
I was born with this soulful thing.
Soulful.
This is good.
My mouth is small.
You're noisy.
(Scream)
Then, I'll go.
Yes.
Switch on.
(Scream)
Ah, this is my own house.
(Laughter)
Somehow, it's noisy.
This morning, we broadcast from Yomiri TV in Osaka.
Good evening.
Something is wrong with my head.
(Laughter)
Well, it's hard.
(Laughter)
It moves fast, doesn't it?
Yes.
It moves fast.
(Laughter)
Wow, it doesn't move at all.
(Scream)
Wow.
It doesn't move at all.
(Scream)
Wow.
(Laughter)
This is dangerous.
Wow, it's amazing.
(Scream)
Ah, ah, ah.
Ah, it's moving a little.
Huh?
(sliding sound)
In the end, only that thing moved.
(sliding sound)
It's nine o'clock. It's eight o'clock.
Hey, don't sleep!
Ah!
(laughter)
(sliding sound)
Good morning, Mr. Thick-Eyed.
Everyone, please don't hit me.
You'll drop a half-mouthed handkerchief or chopsticks.
(laughter)
Today is a good morning.
It's effective in the morning.
(laughter)
Good morning, Mr. Thick-Eyed.
Oh, I said it.
Good morning, Mr. Thick-Eyed.
(laughter)
Please say hello to everyone.
Hello, I'm Thick-Eyed.
I only picked up a box of caramel.
I got on a purple carousel and went to Kobe.
"Entertainment Life 30 Years," "Half-Human Jewels,"
Let's sing and sing to Kenji Mikawa.
A song from the Showa 45.
Woman's Morning
Good morning, Mr. Thick-Eyed.
Goodbye.
How far are you going to sing?
(laughter)
You know, you can't sing that high with a neon light.
Normally, you'd be taken to a hospital.
You're talking nonsense.
I don't know what "Asaoka Rikiya" is.
Didn't you get it?
Everyone, are you ready?
Let's go!
Here are the benefits of the game!
Ooohhh!
Well, well, half of the people supported you.
I'm glad.
Well, in this way, the Eastern Army has no friend anymore.
You can go now, right?
Thank you very much! Please take a seat over there!
And finally, we have this form!
This program is brought to you by Seiyaku Kobayashi, P&G, Nissin Foods, and the following sponsors.
Hurry up and bring it!
Norio Champon!
I can't do it.
Right?
Humans must do it when they must!
But you know, this kind of energy is good.
Neo Kido, what a cool guy!
Yes, yes, yes, that's right.
The one who caught it.
The one who caught it, right?
That's right.
That's funny.
Why did you say "the one who caught it" so suddenly?
It's weird!
So, let's see it.
Go ahead.
Norio-san, let's see it!
It's 3:20 in the morning.
I'm going to bed now.
I'm going to bed.
Good night.
You're late.
I don't like you anymore.
*fart*
You're the worst!
You fart while you drink!
You're unconsciously farting!
Wait! Wait!
What are you doing?
What do you think you're doing?
It's the toilet! It's the toilet!
What are you doing?
It's the toilet!
This is my new house.
You're completely different from Susu!
Hey, you're sleeping!
You've been sleeping for two hours.
You're completely different from Susu!
Ladyilia, Ladyilia, Laparotta, Patino, Patino...
Murecha Poh! Murecha Poh!
Arata, arata, arata...
Just kidding, just kidding, just kidding...
(singing)
(laughing)
How could you look like that?
(laughing)
You looked like Snowstar in "Brain of Loudon".
(laughing)
(speaking in foreign language)
(laughing)
(speaking in foreign language)
(upbeat music)
(cheering)
(music)
Shut up!
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Yes, I got it.
Excuse me.
What is it?
Oh, hello.
Thank you very much.
Yes, it's very good.
(laughter)
Yes, excuse me.
Are you old?
Stand-by, please.
Yes, please.
What is it?
Would you like some gyoza?
Excuse me.
Oh, you're from Kansai.
Yes.
Is it true that Kansai has a detective night school on Friday nights?
Whatever it is.
Oh, I see.
Stand-by, please.
Excuse me.
Stand-by, please.
Are you old?
Excuse me.
You're from Kansai, aren't you?
Akashia Sanma's "Akashia" is his master's name, Shofuku Tei Matsunosuke.
And Shofuku Tei Matsunosuke's real name is "Akashi Tokuzo", isn't it?
That's why it's called "Akashia Sanma", isn't it?
I don't know.
Yes, it is.
Yes, stand-by, please.
All right, I'm coming in.
Please do.
(laughter)
As I thought, a variety show can't be broadcasted.
(laughter)
All right, let's move on.
"Young Vacation" is a very popular TV show on Mondays and Thursdays.
We invited Koji Higashino from "Young Vacation".
Hello.
Hi, Koji.
Who has the most negative comments?
Well...
I guess.
Do you think so? OK, let's watch the video.
Lalala...
Oh, Higashino, you're suddenly aggressive.
OK, Shin first.
Welcome back, Junko.
That's obvious.
Next, NG.
OK, OK, OK, OK, OK.
You're a big shot.
Next, Higashino again.
OK, Shin first.
Don't cry, Kumiko.
It's decided, right?
Next, NG.
Higashito-kun, isn't it your line? Higashito-kun!
Huh? Me?
I'm sorry, I forgot!
Come on, everyone, don't laugh at me.
I'm definitely going to get NGed.
I got NGed.
That's it for NGed from "Young Vacation".
Wow, that's a lot of NGs, Higashito-kun.
I can't believe it.
Next up is NGed from the local FMS station.
Let's start with Fukui TV.
Huh?
Isn't the mic on?
Huh?
I'm sorry, the mic was off!
Next up is TV Shizuoka.
Today we're having a sports day on a rice field.
I'm joining you!
Tu-ru-ru-ru-ru-ru...
He laughs too much.
I'm tired of laughing.
Let's leave him be.
Good luck with your work.
Thank you.
(Laughter)
Well...
Welcome!
Please come in.
Are you looking for your wife?
Yes...
You don't have to be embarrassed.
Your perfect wife is here.
Please sit over there.
Over here?
Yes.
Please have a seat.
President! President! We have guests!
Over here?
Welcome!
I'm Margaret Katsura, and I'm your wife.
It's been a while...
since I've been to Saint Logan.
President, we're looking for your wife.
What kind of wife are you looking for?
Please take a look at this.
(Music)
(Laughter)
Please show me.
What is it?
Is it a white, dirty, working woman?
Is it a toilet tank?
(Laughter)
Today you will play a game with me.
If you can answer the question correctly, I will give you half of the prize money.
Would you like to try it?
Yes, please.
Today's game is "what is it through the gap?"
Here it is.
This box has a little gap.
I will give you half of the prize money.
If you can answer the question correctly, I will give you half of the prize money.
Would you like to try it?
Yes, please.
Here we go!
What is it through the gap?
Yes!
(Laughter)
The answer is...
Apple!
Please!
(Laughter)
I'm sorry.
And...
Please accept it.
I'm sorry.
The president said "what is it through the gap?"
I said "I know, I know."
I said it loudly.
(Laughter)
I said it loudly.
Please say "mail post".
"Mail post"?!
Please! Apologize!
Just once, please!
Apologize?
Mail post
Why do you say "apologize"?
Thank you for your time, sir.
It's fine now.
(Laughter)
What do you want me to do?
Do you want me to laugh?
No, I want you to be happy.
(Laughter)
Thank you for your time, sir.
It's fine now.
(Laughter)
Let's go!
What is the game?
Please guess what it is.
I'll say it.
It's only for a moment.
I know!
What is the answer?
"Mail post"!
(Laughter)
How could you say that?
(Laughter)
How could you say that?
(Laughter)
What is the answer?
The answer is "apple"!
It's red!
(Laughter)
(Knocking)
How could you say that?
Why did you say such a thing?!
Why did you think I was a hedgehog?!
Now, after the commercial, we will announce the winner of the Yudof competition!
What is this?
I do not know.
Why do you have a rubber band in your throat?
I do not know.
Hey!
What is it?
It's an egg.
What is it?
Hey, hey! It's a sea turtle!
What is it?
I'm afraid.
Wait!
It's a sea turtle!
Tonight's winner is...
GURUGURU P.T.!
Well, the rules are the same as P.T. of soccer.
Yes!
The only difference is that the goal here moves.
It's a goal.
When both teams press the start button...
Yes, yes, yes!
The goal rotates!
Yes!
It stops!
Yes!
At that stage, both teams come out and protect the goal.
Yes!
The only difference is that one person kicks it.
Yes!
When it enters, it's a score!
Yes!
We'll do it over and over again, right?
Yes!
The team with the highest score wins!
Yes!
Congratulations!
Okay, start!
Yes!
It's better to stop it at a difficult place where the goal doesn't reach.
Yes!
There's a monitor in front of you.
That's right.
Yes! What should we do about this?
Like this?
Like this.
You can't do it like that.
But if you can do it like that, you can do it like that.
If you can do it like that, you can do it like that.
If you can't, you need to kick it from above.
Yes!
You can't do it like that.
You need to show it like this.
I can't do it like that.
You can't do it like that.
You need to show it like that.
Okay, let's do it now!
What is it?
The team with the highest score wins!
Yes!
Good luck!
Why do I have to do it again?
That's it! Punching! Punching!
This is it!
You're not cool!
What are you doing?
Anyway, Team Hamada is 0 points!
Well, well, well, it's the first time.
Start!
It's no good! It's no good!
Stop!
Not even one!
OK, next, number 2!
Damn it!
Oh, this is bad!
It looks like we're going to lose!
No, it's bad everywhere!
Right?
Hongo uses cushions and stuff.
This baldness?
Yes.
That baldness.
What?
I'm going home!
Why are you going home now?
I'm going home!
You're kidding!
You're kidding me!
Well, well, I'll go first!
Go!
I'm going to do my best!
I'll do my best.
Please.
Start!
Oh, no! Oh, no!
What if it comes here?
Where is it?
Let's go!
Oh, I'm scared.
We went to such a good place...
We only had school!
Team Hamada, zero points!
OK, start!
OK, stop!
It's OK, it's OK.
Those two won't be much of a problem.
One plus one is negative, right?
One plus one is...
One plus one is negative, right?
Yeah, yeah, that's right.
Go for it!
OK, start!
Team Hamada, zero points!
Oh, this is hard.
Oh, it's hard.
It's hard.
It's hard, right?
It's hard.
Go for it!
Let's go!
To the left!
OK, start!
Go for it!
Oh, this is hard.
You can't get anywhere.
It's ridiculous.
OK, go for it!
You're wrong! You're wrong! Mom is sick!
What's up with you?
Highlight party!
What's up with you?
This is a pressure game.
What's up with you?
This is a talk, you know?
I'll do it lightly.
I'll kick it lightly.
What's up with you?
We were so nervous.
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Are you crazy?
It's big! It's really big!
If it was a paint, it would be a robot for sure!
There's no one who's bigger than you.
We've been talking about it for a while now, but...
I haven't said anything yet!
Oh, no!
It's really good.
It's really hard to protect.
It's really hard to protect, these guys!
I can...
I can kick it with my right or my left.
Here you go.
Well, then...
Let's do it!
What's up with you?
Which goal?
That goal.
But if you stand there, it's dangerous!
What's up with you?
He's stupid!
What's up with you?
Let's do it!
Now!
Start!
It's good!
It's amazing!
Hahaha!
It's funny!
Is Tama alright?
Hahaha!
Simple!
Hahaha!
What is that?
Hey! What kind of cosplay is that?
Hahaha!
Just spit it out and end it already!
Hahaha!
Ah, you're strong, Hongou-san!
Alright! Now's the time!
Hahaha!
Ah, but this is already...
Hongou-san, you're in!
Ah, I'm in too, Hongou-san!
I'm already in.
Hey, give me one too!
Hey!
Ah!
Alright!
Ready, start!
Please wait for me, princess!
All right!
All right, let's do it!
Stop!
Nice! Nice! Nice!
Good job, good job!
If you lose this, you lose.
You lose, right? It's a sudden death, right?
It's a sudden death, right?
It's a sudden death, but a real honor death has been taken.
But today is McHunt Day.
If you work hard...
Let's put a lot of yuzu in the bath.
Yuzu, right? Make it hot and yuzu.
Make it hot and yuzu.
All right!
Let's do it!
Go for it!
It's in! It's in!
That's all for Team Hunter!
- Mr. Tokage. - Oh, yes.
Oh, hello.
I'm learning how to ride a horse now.
Well, I'm busy, so can you do it another time?
- Yes. - Mr. Tokage.
- Yes. - Listen to your mother.
Well, I'm really sorry about the restaurant.
No, it's no big deal.
Well, I wasn't very mature, either.
I don't know why, but I was too excited.
It was my fault, too. Don't worry about me.
I'm not mad at you anymore.
Mr. Tokage...
Chieko and I were in the same high school.
Chieko's father was the president of a trading company.
My father was a salaryman there.
Because of that relationship...
Chieko gave me the nickname "Hira Employee."
But when I opposed it...
I thought my father would be fired from the company, so I put up with it.
In the winter of my second year of high school...
Chieko's Chanel wallet was stolen.
And I happened to be...
sleeping in the room all by myself...
so I was blamed for it.
But Chieko's father...
donated a lot of money to school...
but the teachers at school...
no one was there for me.
And in the end, I stole it.
And I was treated like a thief in high school.
I didn't...
I didn't want...
I didn't want to lose to Chieko.
That's why I went all out at that restaurant.
I'm sorry.
Please forgive me.
Oh...
I see.
So that's what happened.
I understand how you feel.
Of course you do.
I'm sorry.
Chieko, will you forgive me?
Now that you mention it...
I'm starting to get angry.
Really?
I'm sorry.
You know what?
You should be ashamed of yourself!
I'm ashamed of myself.
Look at me!
You should be ashamed of yourself!
I told you not to take a shit in a restaurant!
Why do you take a shit?
Mitsuko, you're terrible!
I'm sorry. See you later.
That's enough!
That's really enough!
That's enough!
That's really enough!
I'm sorry.
That's enough!
Hey!
Kasane!
What?
You don't have anything to say!
Uncle!
Takagi!
I like you.
I love you, Takagi.
Please marry me.
Marry you?
I did it! I did it! I did it!
Takagi and Mom are getting married?
I did it!
I did it! I did it! I did it!
Uncle!
You're eating a dog's poop!
Why are you eating it?!
It doesn't look like you're feeding it!
Seriously!
Huh?!
Stop it, please!
Seriously!
You useless pet!
Seriously!
Mitsuko, you're in trouble, too, aren't you?
- Here... - It's open, isn't it?
- Well, it's not impossible, but... - No, it's not impossible, but...
- It's definitely open, isn't it? - It's me, isn't it?
- Yes, it's you. - But there are other targets.
- I don't know if it's better to target you. - Hey!
- No, I kicked you like this, but you kicked me like this. - I kicked you like this?
- Huh? - Slowly... Slowly like this... I kicked you like this.
Huh?
I'm sorry.
If you weren't there now, you would have hit me and went in properly, wouldn't you?
What's with that face?!
Apologize! Apologize properly!
What's with that attitude of yours?!
- I'm tired of you. - You're like an amateur now, aren't you?
I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry. - I'm sorry.
I don't know why you're trying to do it like that!
Like this... Like this... Like this...
This program was brought to you by Kobayashi Pharmaceutical...
...P&G...
...and Nissin Foods...
...as well as the following sponsors.