AISubs v3.4
Hello, Principal.
This is my old friend, Kuranosa, who is teaching at Kosuda Elementary School.
This is my son, Itsuji.
I'm Itsuji.
And this is Mr. Matsumoto, who is the principal of Iguana Kindergarten.
Nice to meet you.
Mr. Matsumoto is a very kind person and he is very popular with children.
(Laughter)
I'm also very funny.
I'm the main character, my girlfriend, Itsuji.
Yes, you are. (Laughter)
What is your hobby?
My hobby is... I love children.
You are very kind.
Itsuji, am I not a good boy?
But Mr. Matsumoto is more popular with children.
(Laughter)
You don't know about me, do you?
I'm not the main character, but it's about time.
Can you leave it to the two young people?
That's right.
Ouch!
(Laughter)
This program is brought to you by...
Mark!
Hey, Mark, where are you going, you treasure?
What's up with you?
What are you doing?
I'm taking you outside. Where are you going?
It's such good weather, and you're taking me outside?
You're never going to be in the studio again.
Your voice is echoing.
Where are you going, Mr. Yamashita?
Get out of here!
Where are you going, Mr. Yamashita?
Where are you going? Go home!
Here you are, Mark!
What is it?
Look at that. Can you read what it says?
It's all in English.
Look at that. Look at you. Look at that.
Studio...
Stop being a comedian or a singer.
I see.
Cameraman!
It's difficult.
You can go anywhere, even abroad.
What are you doing?
If you go in here, you'll find someone like me.
What?
You'll find someone like me.
Cameraman?
Yes!
Are you okay?
Excuse me!
Shut up!
This way!
You don't even know who's here!
Studio...
What are you talking about?
Go in there!
Hurry!
It's Tenmei!
Is this Kano Tenmei?
It's Tenmei! Look!
Look! It's Kano Tenmei!
It's Tenmei!
Tenmei doesn't talk much when he's working!
Kano-san!
Let me in!
Let me in! I'm working!
What are you doing?!
I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
What are you doing?!
I'm not like that!
What are you doing?!
Are you out of your mind?!
No, I'm not!
Tenmei-san!
What?
This is my son! My only son!
Can you make me your disciple?
What's with this beard?
I'm sorry. Let me try it.
Anyone can do it like this, right?
A photographer?
Yes.
There's no way you can do it!
Huh?
Look at you!
It's not that easy!
How many years will it take for me to get this far?!
A hundred years!
A hundred years?!
Yes!
You're not a man!
That's right! You're dead!
Don't do anything to my mother!
Don't touch my mother!
Kano's daughter!
Don't touch her!
Hey you!
Let me do it! Let me do it!
Let me do it!
Let me do it, Tenmei!
Let me do it!
I'm sorry, Tenmei!
Are you sure?
I'm sorry!
Let me do it! Let me do it!
Can you do it?
Yes, I can!
Don't say anything nice!
Yes, I understand!
You have to endure it!
Let me do it! Let me do it!
Okay! Let's do it!
Don't touch me! It's not fair!
You have to bend your waist!
You have to shake it!
You have to do it like this!
Like this?
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Like this?
Your legs are too long!
You're so strict, Tenmei!
Of course!
You're so strict!
Like this?
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Say something!
How do you like it?
It feels good!
Where did you get it?
You have to show me your face!
You can't do anything!
Wait! Wait!
Teacher!
You have to observe me!
How do you like it?
Yes, yes, yes. Come forward a little more.
Yes, yes. Good.
Come up a little more.
Yes, yes, yes.
You can't make it. Make it normal.
Yes.
Good.
Yes.
Your left hand.
This is...
I feel good when you say it.
You feel good?
I feel good.
I'm not asking you for it.
Yes. Yes.
Give it to me. Give it to me.
It's quiet. It's quiet.
It's smooth.
So it's perfect.
It's perfect.
You and...
You and your girlfriend are the only ones here.
I see.
But it's just scenery.
I see.
Don't like it.
I see.
Break it.
More.
Break it.
Good. Good.
Look at me.
Say something.
Open your mouth.
Keep saying it.
Good.
Show me your tongue.
I see.
I don't have a model.
What?
I'll do it.
Where is it?
I...
Where is it?
I...
Well, I...
Please tell him with our
guns for now.
Can you take it off?
Guns.
Take it!
Yes!
How is it?
Mom, no! Let me do it first!
Let me be a model!
Take it and be a model!
OK, take it and be a model!
Don't take it and be a model!
Something is wrong!
It's wrong!
He didn't listen to me!
How is it?
It's good!
Let me see your hands.
Put your hands closer to your chest.
Yes, yes!
Look at me!
Yes! Look at me!
Yes!
You are so cute!
I will buy it!
Buy it!
I will buy it!
Yes!
Everybody! Everybody!
It's OK. It's OK.
Hey, hey, listen...
Yes!
Everybody, everybody!
It's OK!
Go home! Go home!
Get out of here!
Go home! Go home!
Get out of here!
I said get out of here!
I said I'm sorry!
You're an otaku somewhere.
Good evening, everybody.
I'm Sekiguchi Hiroshi, also known as Tsunori.
I'm Tsunori.
Today's "Tsunori" is about life's ups and downs, efforts, love and emotions.
We're going to go in-depth and ask you for your opinions.
Let me introduce our guests and commentators.
First of all, we have nurse Kobayashi.
I don't know what's going to happen.
Thank you for coming today.
Next to me is Mr. Wicky.
Good evening.
I'm more scared of you than you are of me.
You're the same as before.
Thank you for having me.
Lastly, we have Ms. Takami Kyoko.
Thank you for having me.
Everyone has their own life.
But today, I'd like you to meet this person.
Please come in.
Actually, this baby is two months old.
His father, Yagistan Osamu, and his mother, Kumiko,
thought hard and named him "Yuuki-kun".
How about you, nurse?
That's an interesting question.
What is it?
It's a good name.
Yes, it is.
How about you, Kyoko-chan?
Is it "chonmage" on his hair?
No, it's not!
He's only two months old.
I hope he'll have a brave life from now on.
How about you, Ikki-san?
I'm sure he'll be brave enough to study English.
His eyes look like they can speak English.
Is that so?
Actually, a few months later,
he had a major change.
When he was born, he weighed 3,566 grams.
Now, he weighs 6,500 grams.
That's twice as much.
It means that his eyes are thick.
How about you, nurse?
I'm getting comments like this all of a sudden.
Your eyes are thick, aren't they?
Yes, they are a little thick.
But they look good, don't they?
Do they?
Recently...
Recently, I've been a little worried about obesity.
Oh, I see.
I'm more energetic than anything else.
I'm a kid, so I'm not fat.
They're cute and nice, aren't they?
How about you, Yoko-chan?
Overall, it's good to be fat, but in some cases it's troublesome, isn't it?
Oh, in some cases, yes. Overall, it's like that, but...
Now, while listening to this today...
Yuki Yagishita.
Born on September 2nd, 1945.
Born in Chuo Hospital.
His father, Osamu-san, and his mother, Komiko- san...
Wanted him to grow up healthy and beautiful.
Today, too, Yuki-kun...
Answered us with a smile.
Yes, sir!
Idiot! Idiot!
Now that you're all here, I'd like to have a meeting on new product development, but Itao-kun, please introduce it.
Yes. Our concept is to make products that are kind to the earth, that is, products with an ecology in mind.
That's where we came up with this warm shoulder slap.
Wait a minute! What does that warm shoulder slap have to do with ecology?!
That's right! What does that warm shoulder slap have to do with ecology?!
Besides, ecology has nothing to do with idealism! For example...
When you slap someone...
What?! Shinoda-kun, what is it?!
For example, when you slap a tree, the tree should get hurt, right?
Ecology is being destroyed!
Wait a minute! What you're saying is that trees get hurt, trees get hurt, trees get hurt, right?!
Don't talk nonsense! Trees get hurt, trees get hurt!
Don't talk nonsense! Trees get hurt, trees get hurt, trees get hurt!
Trees get hurt, trees get hurt! Don't talk nonsense!
Trees get hurt, trees get hurt, trees get hurt...
What are you saying?!
Trees get hurt, trees get hurt, trees get hurt...
But have that warm shoulder slap...
Have that warm shoulder slap, right?!
That's right! We're a gas bomb balloon!
(Laughter)
Hey! It's a bus gas work!
(Laughter)
Alright! Let's go with that!
(Laughter)
(Birds chirping)
(Laughter)
(Birds chirping)
(Laughter)
(Birds chirping)
(Laughter)
"THE COMPETITION"!
In this segment,
Matsuno and Hamada
will risk their lives
for your concerns and advice!
Hello! I'm Judge Kouhei!
Huh? Huh? Huh?!
(Laughter)
Now, let me quickly introduce myself!
(Laughter)
Judge Kouhei-san, hello!
'Mornin'!
Which is faster, an animal's cheetah or a passenger's Shinkansen?
This is from Yoshida Mio-chan's eight-month-old baby!
A lonely question, isn't it? I know, I know!
You're the one who knows the answer, but...
Alright! Today, I'll dare to wear black and white!
So, here's my mark! Cheetah-san's entrance!
(Cheetah-san's entrance song)
'Mornin'! 'Mornin'!
'Mornin'!
In the past, I used to dress up and look ugly. I'm sorry.
I'm an animal's cheetah-san!
Ah, you're an animal...
I'm an animal!
Aren't you an ugly cheetah?
I'm not ugly! I'm beautiful!
Aren't you Chanel's perfume-smelling cheetah?
(Laughter)
Why do you spit out so much poison?!
I'm sorry!
I'm not! I'm an animal!
Alright! Nice to meet you!
Alright! So, here's my mark! Shinkansen-san's entrance!
(Shinkansen-san's entrance song)
'Mornin'! 'Mornin'!
Today...
Onee-chan said she wanted to go to Nozomi, but...
(Laughter)
When you're walking, you drop things all over the place...
So, today...
Light has come!
What are you saying?
(Laughter)
You're scary!
(Laughter)
Scary! Scary! Scary! Scary!
Alright! Then, let's start the showdown!
Today's showdown is...
This one!
(Shinkansen-san's entrance song)
Don't look at me like that!
(Shinkansen-san's entrance song)
Game!
(Shinkansen-san's entrance song)
Alright!
Quickly!
We'll explain the rules!
Yes!
Today we'll be choosing only these two items!
Yes!
Both of you will choose either of them!
Yes!
There's nothing in one of them, but...
Yes!
If you choose one of them, you'll have to prepare a little unpleasant feeling!
I see!
Please choose carefully!
Alright!
Today's item of choice is...
This one!
Alright!
There are two eggs here, but...
Either of them is...
One raw egg and one boiled egg!
Now, which one is it?!
This one!
Don't look too closely!
Which one is it?!
This one!
This one?!
Well, it's that one.
It's that one, right?!
Alright!
Now, along with my order...
Please hit your forehead with the egg!
Yes!
Then, let's go!
Let's...
Try!
One, two...
Shinkansen-san's entrance song!
Alright!
Today's boiled egg is...
This one!
Alright!
What's this?
There are two boiled eggs.
One of them is helium gas!
So, if you take a deep breath, you'll change your voice!
Ah, I see!
If you change your voice, you won't get any points!
So, which one is it?!
Are you really going to hit your forehead with it?
Ah, don't hit me!
It's fine.
Ah, you're both wearing different colors, right?
Alright?!
Then, let's...
Try!
Okay, I'm pouring it in. I'm pouring it in! Wait for me!
Chita-san! Good morning!
Good morning.
You laughed!
So, Hikari-san, good morning!
Good morning.
That's delicious!
So, since you got it right, Hikari-san gets a point!
This is funny!
Let's go!
Now, in front of you are two entrances with "angel" and "devil" written on them.
Choose one of them and jump as high as you can!
Of course, it's better if you don't have anything...
Let me say it with "seno"!
I'll say it with "seno"!
Say it with "seno"!
Seno!
Angel!
Devil!
Angel!
Try!
Chita-san! Chita-san! Are you okay?!
Okay!
Chita!
Captain!
Chita-san!
Chita-san! Are you okay?!
I need money!
Here's the lucky charm!
It's a sin!
Now!
Yes!
It's a sin!
Catch... catch that ball!
Both of you, please stand back!
I can't hit you if you hit me!
Get out of the way!
I'll definitely hit you.
There are two balls in this game.
One of them is a soft ball.
One of them is a real ball.
Now!
This side is...
Shut up!
This side is...
This side!
Got it!
Now!
Give it to me!
I'll hit you!
It's a real ball!
Catch it!
It's a sin!
I know! I know!
I know the result!
But...
Wait!
Don't hit me!
This is a real ball!
I'll hit you!
Even if you hit me with a hard ball,
I'll never give up this game!
Let's go!
Why are you laughing?!
What's the matter?!
Why are you laughing?!
That man...
It's fun, isn't it? It's fun, isn't it?
It's fun, isn't it?
No, I don't like it!
Are you ready? Please sit down!
Let's try!
Oh, I'm scared!
Oh, stop it!
And the last one is...
...this one!
Oh, there's a toilet.
There are two entrances.
Actually, this toilet...
...one side is empty...
...but on the other side...
...there's someone who's not funny.
Now you two...
...will pour water into this bucket.
Here you go.
Now, go ahead.
Are you ready? Which one will you pick?
One, two...
Oh, sorry!
No way!
But this one is...
...very funny!
And now...
...let's go!
Hey, what are you laughing about?
What?
Hey!
It's been stolen! It's been stolen!
Don't... don't run away!
- Are you going to kill me? - I'm going to kill you!
I'm so sorry!
I'm sorry!
Give it to me!
be careful !
- be careful !!
scared ?
be careful !
look, he's running away
- hey, don't run away !
scary ! scary !
- Yoshida Ryo, eight months old
Shinkansen and cheetahs are faster on Shinkansen!
But everyone, please buy a lot of Shinkansen and cheetahs!
They're fun to be with.
They're friends.
That's right!
Thank you for your hard work!
Shinkansen and cheetahs are faster on Shinkansen!
Today's Morito's Mom Contest is...
Let's give you a special and famous song!
First of all, our judges...
Our judges, in front of me, are our judges, Jo Atsumoto and Sho Sensei!
Before the show, there was something a little unpleasant.
I'll resolve it for you.
Thank you for coming.
Something terrible happened, didn't it?
Yes, it did.
Something terrible, didn't it?
Has it been resolved?
Yes, it has.
Thank you for coming.
Next to him is the former singer, Yuu!
It's only now that it's unpleasant.
I see.
Please resolve it for me.
Yes.
Hey!
Stop it!
Get off me!
Stop it!
Sit down, sit down.
Sit down, Matsumoto-san, sit down.
Um, Yuu-san!
Yes?
I'm sorry, but...
You're my... you're my partner, so...
Yes?
Um, you don't need a kick, do you?
I'm sorry.
He's come all the way to kick me.
It's okay now.
It's okay?
Please sit down.
Calm down. Is it before the show?
Yes.
You don't need a kick, do you?
I'm sorry.
And last but not least, Granotaro-san!
Thank you!
And last but not least, these two!
Yokomori Ryozo-san and Okuyama Yoshio-san!
Thank you!
Well, since it's "Utahime Special" today...
Yes.
I'd like you to tell us about it in detail.
Understood.
Okuyama-san.
Yes?
Today is "Utahime Special".
Ah, that's right.
A mother who's good at singing is here with us today.
And she's wearing a bodycon.
A bodycon.
Yes.
What do you think of singing?
I'm pretty good at it.
Be careful.
Why is that? I've released three CD singles.
Wow, you're working hard.
Stop releasing records.
I'll study a lot.
Ah, that's right.
Well, today's singer is a woman.
Yes.
She's here with us today.
Yes.
Please judge her for us.
Ah, I'm looking forward to it.
Yes.
Thank you for singing with us today.
Thank you for having me.
Who said you could do such a thing?
The singer is...
Go Go!
Let me introduce you.
Entry number one is Tamiko Hayashi.
Her height is 88cm, 66cm and 90cm.
She is a cheerful mother who sings in Hiroshima and encourages farm work.
Entry number two is Sachio Kubo.
Her height is 80cm, 60cm and 82cm.
She is a cheerful mother who doesn't care about selling things.
Entry number three is Takika.
Her height is 85cm, 65cm and 88cm.
She is a mother who does karaoke and snacks with her hobbies and achievements.
Entry number four is Otsuka Kiyoko.
Her height is 85cm, 62cm and 88cm.
She is a mother who used to chase Alice.
Entry number five is Yoshie Kataoka.
Her height is 90cm, 68cm and 90cm.
She is a sister of Otsuka Kiyoko.
She is a woman who loves dogs.
Now then, the five of you have gathered here, and the judges will be giving you questions.
Let's start with the questions!
- Yes. - Yes, Okuyama-san.
- For all of you, - Yes.
- Today is "Utahime Special", - Yes.
- Please tell us why you are called "Utahime". - I see.
Now, the first person.
- I participated in a karaoke competition at a local broadcasting station. - Yes.
- Oh, and? - Unfortunately, I didn't make it to the preliminaries.
You're the one who got beaten up!
I've done it many times!
- So you've challenged yourself many times! - Yes!
I see, you like singing that much.
- Now, number two! - Yes.
- I won yesterday. - Are you mad, Ojiro?
- I'm not mad. - You won yesterday! Where?
- In the East Yodoga District. - Yes.
I was chosen as a representative. All Japan Karaoke Tournament.
- Is that even possible?! - I'm doing it.
- What?! - I'm doing it.
Why do you talk like that?!
- What about you, Yamba? - I just sing in my own shop every day.
- What about you, Yamba? - I like New Music at the end of the year.
- Oh! - I sing with Bubblegum Brothers, Noricum, and Yumi.
- I see. - I like singing that much!
- Number five! - At a local karaoke tournament...
I want to hear that! At a local karaoke tournament...
- I won! - That's good.
- Yes! Anything else?! - I did it last time, but...
- Since we're here... - Yes.
- I want to hear your troubled voice. - You want me to hear it?!
- Well, well, well... - Yes.
- Now, number one, go ahead! - Oh!
- Yes. - Oh!
- Matsumoto-san, are you mad?! - No, no, it's good.
- Now, number two, go ahead! - Hmm...
- Now, number three, go ahead! - Oh!
- Now, number four, go ahead! - Hmm...
- That's good. Now, number five, go ahead! - Oh!
- Now, number five! - Number five! Number five!
- Aren't you saying it too? - Of course! Of course! Of course!
- Number five, don't say it out loud. - My eyes are shaking.
- It's alright, it's alright. Number five, you're doing good, you're doing good. It's alright.
- Yes. - Is there a reason for that? - Yes.
- Today, we're going to sing about you and your life,
- so we'd like you to deliver it as an original song.
- I don't want it!
Let's start with number one.
Yes! Today, today is the best!
Now, number two, please.
When I was young, I had some tricks up my sleeve,
but now my face is broken and I'm miserable.
Wait! Number two!
Who said you could win?!
That's your fault, old man!
Now, number three, please.
People say a lot of things,
but I've lived my life my way.
Now, number four, please.
In the old days...
Shut up! What are you doing?!
What are you doing?!
Now, I'm going to see my son and Tanimura Shinji's concert.
Now, number five, please.
Yes.
I'm glad I'm alive.
Ah, ah, I'm glad I'm alive.
Mr. Yokoyama!
Yes, yes, yes.
How was it?
Well...
What impressed me the most was your characters.
Characters?
Everyone is different.
Characters, right?
Yes, everyone is interesting.
Now, with a sexy pose,
let's welcome the judges and teachers.
First of all, number one, please.
What are you doing?
Number two, please.
What?
What is that?
Number three, please.
That's right!
Number four, go ahead!
I'll do it with my sister.
Oh, right! She's your older sister, right?
That's right!
Because you're brothers.
Yes, then I'll do it with my sister. Go ahead!
What are you doing?
Idiot!
Number one and number five!
Everyone, please turn around and look in front of you!
Please tell me your name and age!
Then, number one, go ahead!
Hayashi Tamiko, 41 years old!
Yes!
Then, number two, go ahead!
Shiratori Reiko, 45 years old.
Why are you telling me?!
Why do you call her "Shiratori Reiko" in front of everyone?
It's a game name.
Then, number three, go ahead!
Akiga Watsuko, 52 years old.
Then, number four, go ahead!
Ochika Kiyoko, 41 years old.
Yes!
Then, lastly, number five, go ahead!
Yoshie Kataoka, 49 years old.
Yes!
Then, that's it for the five mothers.
Is it okay?
What in the world is this grand prix?
Then, let's go!
Who will win the grand prix? Please raise your number tag!
3, 2, 5! 3, 5!
Number 3 and 5 are tied.
They are tied.
Please discuss.
Judge, number 3 will win.
Then, number 3 will go first!
Thank you very much.
Please go ahead.
Are you okay?
Yes.
Are you okay?
I'm okay.
Yes.
Then, Ms. Tagigawa won the world grand prix.
Ms. Tagigawa won.
First of all, we would like to give you a calendar for next year.
Please accept it. Thank you very much.
Thank you very much.
Let me see.
Yes.
You have big boobs.
You should be seen a little more.
What are you doing?
In addition!
Today.
Yes.
Mr. Yokobori is coming.
Yes.
He will play for you only.
Let's sing one song.
What shall we sing?
"Life is full of various things".
Yes, that's it!
Let's sing!
I was worried about dying.
Roses and flowers withered and died.
I would like to say goodbye while singing "Life is full of various things".
Mr. Okiyama, thank you very much for today.
Thank you very much.
Thank you very much, Mr. Yokobori.
Thank you very much, Ms. Fujio.
Thank you very much!
That's all for today!
Thank you very much!
Thank you!
What is this!?
I wonder if he's been doing this for a while now.
Shit!
What the hell are you eating!?
Hey! This horse is...
Our horse is here to get you today!
Hey, bring it here!
What the hell is this!?
What the hell are you eating!?
Today's emotional damage damage! How about it!?
Hey, bring it here!
Are you going to let me continue bowling and rally like this?
This way, this way, this way, this way!
That's what you, Ozora's writer, Kawara Chosuke, writes!
If you don't give up, I won't!
Hey, bring it here!
Now, can we get this horse?
Bring it here! Bring it here!
Alright!
You said it!
Bring it here!
What's wrong with you!?
Bring it here!
You did it!
I didn't lose! I didn't lose!
Ouch!
Hey!
Wow, that's amazing!
You said it!
You caught me!
It's too late! It's too late!
I'll do it! I'll do it!
Stop it!
Stop it! Stop it!
Look at her! She's sweating!
I can't do it! I can't do it!
I don't know! I don't know! You did your best!
She's never won!
I can't do it!
A proper ball.
Ouch!
Why did you do that?
Stop it!
That's scary.
Why did you do that? You pushed me!
How many times did you do it?
Hey!
Stop it! Stop it!
It's okay!
You have guts, don't you?
That's what I don't like about you.
Stop it!
Hurry up!
Run!
You guys!
You guys! Are you okay?!
Yuki!
What are you doing?!
Run!
Don't cry, Moehei!
Okay, let's go home.
Hey, cleaner!
Cleaner, hurry up!
Take it!
It's about to start!
There's no next time!
There's no next time for you to return the motor!
Go!
Moehei!
Cleaner, hurry up!
Take it!
You're funny!
Take it and push it!
That's it!
Cleaner!
Take it!
Yes!
Take it!
Cleaner!
Go!
Cleaner!
Cleaner, it hurts there! It hurts here!
But Sam, you're hitting it here.
It hurts.
Look at the ball!
It hurts!
That hurts!
You can do it! You can do it! You can do it!
That's it!
Don't hit me!
Go home!
You can do it!
Don't hit me!
You can do it! You can do it!
There! There! There!
That's it!
Go home!
Go!
Hit me in the face!
That's it!
Hey! Everyone! Everyone! Everyone is watching! Everyone!
Everyone is watching you!
I don't know who is who!
Everyone is applauding! Everyone is applauding!
They're applauding!
Don't hit me in the face! In the face!
That hurts! It hurts!
There!
You can do it! You can do it!
That's it!
Go home!
Let's decide.
Let's decide?
Yes.
Let's do it.
Let's do it!
Don't hit me!
Let's run to the north, you and me
When we get there, it'll be snow and it'll be winter, right?
It'll end, right?
Don't be sad, don't cry, starting tonight it'll only be you and me
When we get there, we'll forget about all the painful things
The shaking, shaking heads of sadness
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