AISubs v3.4
You know, this is our first stage. We have to make them laugh.
I know.
The first grasp is important. Be energetic and come out.
I know.
You know, right?
Let's go!
What do you think, guys?
Let me show you my cyborg.
I'm excited.
Cyborg-006, you have been reborn as a super mechanical cyborg by me.
You have been created by modern science.
Your power has crushed steel and has been stored in your brain.
Even NASA couldn't develop a super precise computer.
You can even move in another dimension.
You are truly the most wonderful cyborg in the world!
Switch on!
Ouch!
Hey, you!
Ouch!
Here!
Well, I had no trouble getting you all here.
Are you getting cold?
I'm gonna test this cyborg, Maria-chan, which is said to be the closest to human intelligence.
Let's see how she reacts when she sees cows.
- Let's try it. - Okay.
But we don't have a monkey in our lab.
I'll be your examiner today.
- Okay. - Wait a minute.
- Where's the professor? - Here, second floor.
Okay, I'll go. Maria! Maria!
Sanma.
Kiss is Gohatt.
Nakamachi!
Darling!
Excuse me!
Kiss is Gohatt.
No, there is no other reason for you to gather here.
You know about the development plan of Southeast Asia that our company was working on in secret, don't you?
Yes.
In fact, the same plan was announced by New York's Darashida.
No way!
I don't want to believe it, either.
However, only you five know about this plan, including me.
That means there is a spy among you.
Yes.
Can you be honest with me now?
It can't be helped.
I didn't want to do something like this, either.
I'm sorry.
Ouch!
Hello. It's my second time here.
I'm nervous today.
Really, Kibo?
I'm nervous.
I'm nervous right now!
I'm nervous, too.
I'm nervous right now!
I'm nervous, too.
I'm nervous, too!
I've been working hard for the past 30 years.
If you call me "Kibo"...
I've been working hard for this show.
You guys are good at getting me excited.
I always watch this show at home.
Oh, you do?
It's funny, isn't it?
Oh, I'm sorry! I'm nervous right now!
No, it's funny.
It's funny.
So, when I came here for the first time...
I thought I shouldn't lose to other secret shows.
So, I got a lot of support from the viewers.
If this goes on for another three years...
I think we'll be on a good path.
I don't know when it'll end.
I don't know if it'll end with just a boom.
I don't think I'll be nervous about that anymore.
I don't think I'll be nervous about a punch date for 13 years.
I don't think I'll be nervous about a proposal.
I'm nervous twice a year...
...for decades.
Don't you get nervous like that?
No, I don't.
Are you serious about this show business?
On the contrary, the staff is nervous about you guys.
Are you okay with that?
It's nothing like that.
But you're doing well.
What made you feel the most nervous?
The nervousness of entering this world and meeting the higher ups.
The people you've seen on TV.
You're not nervous, are you?
Of course I am!
You're not nervous, are you?
Of course I am!
You're not nervous, are you?
Of course I am!
Of course you are!
You're getting better at making people laugh.
I used magic medicine to seduce girls
I always won 100 times out of 100
But it didn't work, it didn't work, it didn't work for her
She called me "girlfriend goddess"
Where was I, baby?
Oh sugar, baby love!
For the first time in my life, I fell madly in love with Asaka-san
It's sad, it's sad, it's sad, it's sad, it's painful
For the first time in my life, I don't like magic medicine
Miracle power love's magic potion
Baby, what should I do?
For the first time in my life, I fell madly in love with Asaka-san
It's sad, it's sad, it's sad, it's painful
For the first time in my life, I don't like magic medicine
Something strange happened to his body.
Someone!
What are you doing in the middle of the night?
I'm sorry.
Here you go.
One, two...
Look, it's Chabudai! Look, it's Chabudai!
The time next to me is...
Chabudai!
Look, it's Chabudai! Look, it's Chabudai!
Chabudai!
Is this fate?
My heart stopped beating...
and I died!
Chabudai!
Look, it's Chabudai! Look, it's Chabudai!
Chabudai!
The time next to me is...
Chabudai!
Look, it's Chabudai! Look, it's Chabudai!
Carrying Chabudai on my back is a marathon...
and my heart is broken...
Oh, it's hot!
Do you want some tapioca, Ryutaro?
Experimental Quiz!
OK! Awesome!
In this corner, we'll do the same thing we did last time.
It's a simple question, but it's about what happens if you do it as human beings.
That's right, it's Experimental Quiz!
Let me introduce the answers!
Tadami Shingo!
Nice to meet you!
Nijimura Tomomi!
Nice to meet you!
And last but not least, the scientific commentator, Wada Kadast!
What's the first question about?
It's about friction.
Friction Experiment!
OK, let's watch it!
Friction Experiment!
Can humans climb stairs?!
Dot dot dot!
OK, can humans climb stairs?!
Look at this!
This is a toy called "climbing stairs".
Look at it!
If you do it like this, you can climb up without falling down.
You can climb up with the force of friction.
It's a toy like this.
OK, let's use it today!
If this monkey were a human being, would it climb up?
Let's experiment with it!
OK, let's experiment with this person!
Monkey! Monkey!
Dot dot dot!
Ah, how dull!
Sort of, sort of.
What is it, monkey?
Yes!
With this principle...
Dot dot dot!
You will...
Yes!
With the power of friction, go up?
Yes!
This time, this friction experiment...
Yes!
Look behind you.
What is it?
I have prepared this kind of machine for you.
Oh!
Isn't it great?
This is quite expensive, isn't it?
It is!
Yes!
Now, without further ado...
Yes!
Shall we go?
Yes!
Let's go!
Yes!
What is it?
It is a kind of toy, a climbing monkey.
Yes!
It was there, wasn't it?
Yes!
Will Matsumoto-kun be able to become a climbing monkey or not?
We did this kind of experiment.
Did you move your body, monkey?
Well, it is him, but...
Monkey!
Is it him?
Yes!
Well, this is difficult.
How do you say it?
I didn't make him move, but...
There is a certain degree of vibration, so...
It remained as it was.
Was he able to climb?
Was he unable to climb?
Yes!
Was he able to become a monkey or not?
Look behind you!
Go ahead!
Well, this is...
It is difficult for a teacher.
This is a serious problem.
Now, Chuta.
This is difficult.
I can't say anything.
You should climb up.
Today is dawn, isn't it, Chuta?
Tomomi.
Yes, I got used to it.
Got used to it?
Who said you got used to it?
You said you got used to it, but you didn't get used to it, so you got used to it.
You got used to it, but you didn't get used to it, so you got used to it.
Shimo.
Yes.
This is easy.
You can't get used to it.
You can't get used to it, can you?
Really?
If you got used to it, you would have been doing it for a long time.
I see.
Now, let's see the result of the experiment.
Now, we are ready.
How do you feel, Salppei?
I like it!
Okay, Salppei.
Can you get used to climbing?
Try it!
Hey!
No way!
You know it.
It's a ball of salpe.
Oh, it's a ball of salpe today.
It's a ball of wood.
Let's go! Let's go!
I'm scared of it.
Wow! What's this movement?
Oh! Oh! Oh!
Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow!
Wow! Wow! Wow!
Let's go! Let's go!
Oh! Oh!
What's this?
You're great!
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Oh, you're alive!
What do you mean "my youth"?
So, the result of the experiment is...
you can become Noborizaru!
Take it!
That's all.
Take it!
Thank you!
Hey! Hey! Hey! Wait! Wait! Wait!
Hey! If you keep doing like this...
What?
I beg you!
So, the result of the Noborizaru experiment is...
you can become Gomutanjyuta!
It was quite easy.
Well...
This is a very difficult problem.
Oh, is it?
Is it friction?
Or is it gravity?
It's a competition.
It's a very good trick.
Very good.
Then, the second question.
The second question is...
Yes, what is it?
A static electricity experiment.
This is really a wonderful experiment, isn't it?
Yes.
Then, let's see it. Go ahead!
Can a fluorescent lamp catch a person's static electricity?
Hey, you big ghost!
At this time of the year, especially at night, if you touch a door knob, static electricity will come out, right?
If you dare to use it and fill your body with static electricity and hold a fluorescent lamp, will it catch you?
Now, we will have you do it.
We will have you do it from Amazon.
It's an electric eel...
It's an eel soldier!
Do you know what an eel is?
That's right.
Do you know what an eel is?
I know.
What are you going to do with it?
First of all, we will see if we can ride this fluorescent lamp.
What are you going to do with it?
May I?
First of all, in order to generate static electricity, friction is necessary.
Yes.
First of all, we will have you come down from that hill.
Yes.
And when static electricity comes up, we will have this fluorescent lamp and 30 watts of electricity, and you will grab it.
I see.
Static electricity...
If you are going to use a fluorescent lamp and static electricity...
It doesn't light up.
- We did this experiment. - Yes.
Did it light up or not?
Please show us!
Yes, it's off!
It doesn't light up with that.
Because...
If you go up to a remote place and you can't see anything...
It's easier to use.
- But it's really difficult. - Is that so?
- I can use a fluorescent lamp... - It doesn't light up!
- I can use a static electricity... - Yes, yes.
- It might light up with a little. - With that fluorescent lamp...
- I can't use it with that big of a lamp. - You can't use it.
- I see. With a fluorescent lamp... - Yes.
You can make a hole in Hamada's forehead and have it cut off!
- I see. - Yes.
- King-chan. - Yes?
- It doesn't light up with that. - You really...
- If it light up with this... - Yes?
- You'd be a scary person. - What?
- You'd be able to call me "King-king". - What?
- You're so regular. - Yes, yes.
- It doesn't light up! - Yes.
- Now, let's see the results of the experiment. - Let's see!
Results!
Hey! It doesn't light up!
What are you doing?
Here we go!
Here's the result.
Here's the result of the experiment.
Are you ready?
Wait a minute.
Please be quiet for a moment.
Are you ready?
Then let's go home!
Let's go!
Yes!
Let's go!
Yes!
Are you ready?
Yes!
Sorry! Sorry! It was 8 o'clock!
All right!
Are you ready, Murane?
Yes!
Go!
Yes!
It's coming! It's coming!
(crowd)
Can you see it? It's shining!
It's shining!
We did it!
It's a great success!
We did it!
I don't know what you're talking about!
That's how it is.
It's a great success!
We did it!
(crowd)
That's how it is.
Tomi-chan and I all got it wrong!
That's rare.
That's rare for Chuta to get it wrong.
That's bad.
Anyway, we all got the second question wrong.
Who got the first question right?
Well...
Chuta and Tomi-chan.
Tomi-chan and Chuta got the first question right.
But we all got the second question wrong.
Thank you very much, everyone!
This has been "Experiment Quiz"!
He is Director Binwan.
The weather forecast is live every day, so it's a series of tensions.
Director Binwan!
Shut up!
It's terrible!
A passenger was blown away by a strong wind!
What did you say?!
What should we do?
Calm down! There should be a good way to make up for it!
But...
Think about it carefully!
What if we jump off the building and it's snowing?
All right, let's go with that!
"Experiment Quiz"!
Can I show you my innocent and sincere heart and tears?
If you don't forget it...
There are people who get hurt just by holding their hearts,
but their feelings won't change after a while.
Even at home, sometimes I feel like I'm going to lose to the morning sun.
It's not that you're not here, but that I'm lonely.
It's not that you're not here...
We're both pros, you and me.
Of course we're number one in Japan.
Don't say that!
What?
Even if I lose, we'll still be number one in Japan.
Don't you think so?
Well...
Right?
I think we're number two.
But I can see you two are still...
You're making me laugh!
It's a joke!
Stop laughing!
I'm laughing!
I don't want you to say "keyboard" or "glasses" from now on!
When you're a newbie in the world of comedy and say "ad-lib", you'll get in trouble.
Have you ever been in trouble?
No.
- Have you? - Not really.
- No? - Not really.
Let's get straight.
What do you say about Yoshimoto's demos?
Even if you said it was a joke, no one would get angry.
Ever since you two came in, everyone's been scared.
Why?
If you're careful, you won't wake up.
You're evil!
Wait! I'm not angry!
What about your first performance?
My first performance, the clock was...
My dad gave it to me.
He gave me my dad's clock and said, "I'm going to celebrate with you."
My dad gave me a new one.
A square clock.
It was my first performance, and I was about to leave.
I put it up against the wall and couldn't stop shaking.
My first performance, everyone was nervous.
Your first performance?
It was a few months ago.
Were you nervous?
Not really?
No.
I wish I could be like you.
I'm still nervous.
Are you nervous right now?
I'm worried about my wife, my children and my parents.
I'm worried about my life.
I'm worried about my health.
I'm worried about my future.
I feel responsible for my life.
That's why I'm doing this show on my own.
Welcome. Are you looking for a coat?
Yes.
What kind of coat do you have?
Do you have something like this?
I'm sorry, but we don't have any at the moment.
If you don't mind, would you like to try it on?
Sure.
Thank you.
Would you like to try it on?
Please wait here.
Okay.
(Laughter)
What are you laughing at?
(Laughter)
Stop it!
(Laughter)
Is that a punch?
(Laughter)
Everyone, thank you for waiting.
This is a battle of justice.
HUB vs. MANGOOSE.
(Music)
Now, let's get the ski raised.
Please.
(Music)
Yes, then.
HUB vs. MANGOOSE.
Please.
(Laughter)
- But it's exam season, isn't it? - Yes, it is.
I can't finish it. I can't finish it.
- It's on the news. - What?
- Really? - Yes.
- Tokyo University? - No, Tokyo University of Engineering.
- That's enough! - Thank you!
(Laughter)
- Thank you for your hard work. - Thank you.
- I'm a little nervous at the top. - Yes, I'm sorry.
- Are you nervous? - Yes, I'm nervous.
- Where are you coming from today? - Oh, from Osaka.
- Yes. - Oh, you two are from Osaka.
- Yes.
- You two look alike. - Thank you.
- Thank you for your support. - We don't know yet.
- Thank you for your support. - Thank you for your support.
- I see. - Yes.
- Which one of you came up with the idea? - Well, he came up with it and I came up with it.
- Oh, I see. - Yes.
- Did you tell the writer about it? - No, I didn't.
- Oh, you found out about it all by yourself? - Yes, yes.
- Oh, you found out about it all by yourself? - No, it's not like that.
- It's not like that. - I see.
- He came up with the idea himself. - Yes.
- I look forward to working with you in the future. - Yes.
- Please look forward to the results. - Yes.
- Thank you for your support. - Thank you for your support.
He's tough, isn't he?
(Laughter)
Doctor, a NHK employee is here.
Oh, I see.
Doctor, I'm sorry.
Oh, no, no.
I'd like to get my monthly fee.
Thank you.
How much is it?
Is this all you have for me?
Oh, I see.
Please get my wallet from my drawer.
I understand.
Doctor, is this Mr. Omao?
It's hard to see you in all white.
Hey, old man, what's an NHK?
Oh, an NHK is a national television company.
A television company?
Yes, yes.
Have you met Mr. Akira Nakamori?
Oh, he's a rich guy, so I haven't met him.
Oh, you're boring.
Hey, hey, I'm sorry for being rude.
What are you talking about?
Kids these days are so energetic.
Look at kids these days, doctor.
They go out and play all the time.
When I was young, or when I was little,
we used to go out and play until it got dark.
Shut up!
Are you people on television that kind of people?
Do you play rock-paper-scissors for money?
Do you guys make jambas right after you're on the show?
Come on!
If you guys are angry people, then we're happy people!
Let's go!
Take this money and go home!
What?
Go home!
Take it and go home!
Grandpa!
Take care, boy.
Asakusa is a city in Tokyo.
It's an old-fashioned entertainment company.
If it's for entertainment, they'd give up their lives.
If it's for laughter, they'd even give up their blood.
It's hot in the dormitory and it's cold in the dormitory.
That kind of story.
Do you know it?
Hamada Entertainment Company.
Come on, Mom, Dad, and Ryoko, let's go home!
- Are you okay, Dad? - Yeah.
- What if you fall? - What are you talking about?
I'm holding on to you!
- What if you fall? - What are you talking about?
- You're falling. - I'm falling!
You!
You! You're a fool!
Why did you say that?
- You've embarrassed me! - Yes, yes!
What is with you?
What is this?
- Oh, he's here! - I'm here!
- I'm here!
- Sorry. - Sorry.
Thank you for your busy schedule.
Itao and others just came here as soon as they got used to each other.
- Oh, really? - They were very welcoming.
Is he going to be a life coach?
Don't you know him? He's my father's favorite comedian.
Don't you know him?
But we don't like him. Especially that life coach.
Come on.
I hate him.
Shut up and come with me.
Come with me, old man.
You'll be fine in a little while.
Who's fine in a little while?
You.
Don't come closer.
Keep your distance from me.
You too.
Keep your distance from me.
What are you doing?
You're late for the kitchen.
Be careful. I know, dad.
I am careful.
You're late for the kitchen.
I'm sorry.
It was not a good plan.
It's OK.
I'm sorry.
Please come in.
What is it?
Master!
What are you doing in my wife's room?
What?
This is really funny.
Really funny?
Master is funny.
I don't know why.
That's enough.
Come closer.
No, no, no.
What is it?
Did you bring a gag synthesizer?
We are...
Hiro and Taka...
What's with the funny gag?
Gag?
What is it?
You're too old for this.
Don't say that in Tokyo.
You're too old for this.
You're too young for this.
Dad!
Everyone is back!
Everyone, it's been a long journey. I'm glad you were able to go on your last honeymoon trip safely.
Let me introduce you again.
This is my wife, Yasuko, who got married and moved in with me.
Nice to meet you.
Yasuko has grown up to be a normal girl. She's grown up to be important to everyone.
Everyone is nice to her.
Don't you think so?
I think so, too.
We're friends!
What shower? I've been waiting for you!
Did you buy it?
No, I didn't!
What do you want me to do?
I just said I wanted to take a shower.
You waited for me to take a shower?
Yasuko is not used to this house yet.
We can't help it.
Let's sit down.
Sit down.
I think you all know her.
Let me introduce you to Yasuko.
This is my mother.
This is my sister, Ryoko.
This is Mina.
Nice to meet you.
This is Kouko.
Nice to meet you!
You don't look like an old man.
Let's eat!
I'm sorry for being late.
Where did you come from?
I'm sorry for being late.
I'm using the office.
Don't disturb me.
You're using the office?
I'm having a meeting in the office.
I'm having a party in the office.
It's none of your business!
I heard about you, Yasuko.
Nice to meet you. I'm Imada Ben of the production company "West".
Nice to meet you.
You don't look like an old man.
You're right!
You're young!
Nice to meet you. I'm Imada Ben.
Nice to meet you.
Why don't you go home?
I'm shocked.
What's wrong with you?
Can I say something?
This office and I are family.
That's what you think.
Take off your suit.
We're not your family.
Go home!
Thank you for coming here for us.
Excuse me for a moment.
Give me the bottle.
Give me the bottle!
What's wrong with you?
You're surrounded by beautiful women.
That's not true!
You're talking nonsense!
I'm not here for you.
I'm here for you.
What's wrong with you?
You...
Chief!
According to my information...
Of course, it depends on who's the finalist.
90% sure it's Taka Hiro.
What?
I did it! I did it! I did it!
It wasn't old for me.
I'm not interested in that old-fashioned joke anymore.
I gave you a new content.
This is good, isn't it?
That's right, president.
This is your current era.
It's too late for a joke now.
That's right! That's right!
You guys, sell it!
Are you okay?
Oh, I'm dying of laughter!
Are you okay?
Turn around! Turn around!
Turn around when you're on TV!
President!
If it's like that...
Take off your old-fashioned face and...
Why don't you put up these two's photos?
That's a good idea!
Welcome!
I don't care if you call me old-fashioned.
Don't call me "old-fashioned" anymore!
That's right!
Hey, you!
What's up with you?
Listen to me!
That Ken-chan up there...
The one who raised him...
He's my predecessor!
Ken Shimura?
Yes, Ken Apache!
What's up with you?
And also...
Ken-chan!
Ken-chan is my predecessor!
I'm Ken Shimura!
I'm older than you!
You're saying "Ken-chan"!
What?
You're saying "Ken-chan"!
I'm older than you!
Ken Shimura!
You're saying "Ken-chan"!
I'm older than you!
That's right!
What's up with you?
You're used to dealing with people.
Dad!
Yes?
I...
I understand what you just said.
What are you talking about?
Of course I understand!
Dad...
Right now, in our company...
We do have young, new...
Manzai artists.
But...
You grew up in this company.
Aren't you Sachiko Shisho?
I'm Kouko.
Nice to meet you.
Aren't you Kouko Shisho?
Yes.
Right?
Yes.
Even if you're poor,
like you used to be,
let's work hard as a family-owned artist.
Let's sing.
If you say so,
we have nothing more to say.
My wife and I will cheer for you.
Really?
Shisho, is it true?
Thank you very much!
We'll do our best!
It's almost time for the final selection.
Right?
Yes!
It's now!
The final selection...
The selection is next Sunday, right?
Let me see...
Yes, yes.
It's Sunday, the 19th.
The 19th?
It's Sunday, the 19th.
No, I don't think it's the 19th.
It's today!
It's next week, right?
It's today, the 19th!
Oh, I see!
It's today!
You're both disqualified!
Don't make me laugh!
What?
It's time!
We have to go!
What are you talking about?
Hey, Tai!
What are you doing?
Who told you to do that?
Damn it!
You're going to pay for this!
I was sure that you'd come back!
Chief, forget that!
What?
Doesn't that make you laugh?
Take that!
You're the ones who are making me laugh, so let me go!
What do you think you're doing?
What do you think I'm doing?!
Tai!
Let's do a competition!
You want me?
It can't be helped. I'll do it.
I'll do it myself.
Oshikura...
Wait a minute. I saw something like this in a dream.
In a dream, Oshikura...
Go away! Where are you going?!
What are you doing?! I'm just crushing you!
What are you doing?! You're annoying!
I won't fly with you! I'll crush you!
Stop it!
It's about time you let me go.
It's been a long time since you were young.
I'm the youngest here.
I'll make you into a bat from now on!
Ouch! It came out a little.
Oshikura...
There's no one here.
Let me ask you about your proposal.
What?
Your proposal.
What is it?
Bring me that man!
That's something I want to ask you, but...
What? Yomiyan?
No...
Actually, I don't know about Yomiyan's proposal.
Don't laugh at me.
This is a serious matter.
Promise me.
I'm in the fourth and sixth divisions.
You're in the fourth division.
Don't laugh at me.
I'm not laughing at you.
Um...
From Kanai...
From Yomiyan...
Will you marry me?
That's what I said.
Don't laugh at me.
Oh, is that so?
Iron Man was popular.
But back then, you were richer than your father- in-law.
Yes, Yomiyan was already famous.
He was rich and rich.
Until we got married, Yomiyan had loaned me 17,000 yen.
I still haven't paid it off.
I'm sorry about Yomiyan's proposal.
No, it's fine.
Again...
How about we do a skit?
I think it'd be interesting.
Would you like to do it?
No, I mean...
Shouldn't we think about it?
No, I don't like small promises.
Of course, of course.
I don't like it.
You're going out with me.
You're going to get beaten up and beaten up.
Of course, of course.
If you do it like that...
I don't like it.
I like the skit.
I'll do it for you.
It's called "Experiment Quiz".
I'm doing it.
It's a simple question.
What would you do if you were a human being?
So...
Would you float in sugar water?
That's a funny idea.
Well...
I'll tell you later.
I hope you like it.
Thank you for today.
Thank you.
Calm down.
I'm not going to get eaten.
Just one word.
Dad, please give me my daughter, Rika.
Please!
All right.
I'll give you my daughter, Rika.
Really?
Make me happy!
Thank you!
Hurry up and go!
Thank you!
I'm sorry!
He's stepping on Barbie!
I'm sorry!
I'll hit you!
I'm sorry!
Let's take him to the hospital!
Barbie! Barbie!
You should come with me.
You have a child.
Barbie! Barbie!
Barbie!
Don't you call me Barbie?
I'm sorry!
Barbie! Barbie!
What are you doing?
Waiting for a signal.