AISubs v3.4
Mr. Wicky, it's about time for the show.
It's early in the morning. Let's go.
I'll push you.
I drank too much with Mr. Tomei yesterday.
With Mr. Tomei.
Are you okay?
I'm in a bad mood. Let's go.
I understand. Mr. Kamiya, are you okay?
Yes, I'm okay.
You're okay, right?
Yes.
Then we'll start in five seconds.
Mr. Wicky, hold me.
Yes, I'll do it.
Are you ready?
Then we'll start.
Yes, I'll do it.
Five seconds.
Four.
I'll do it.
Three.
I'll do it.
Two.
Yes, yes.
Good morning!
It's Wicky!
Let's study English today, too!
Come on!
Hey! Good morning!
Good morning!
Good morning.
My name is Wicky.
How do you do?
I don't know.
It means "nice to meet you."
How do you do?
Hey, look at me.
Look at me.
How do you do?
No, no, no. Look at me. Look at me.
Look at me.
How do you do?
No, no, no. Look at me.
How do you do?
What are you doing? Go away!
Do you humans on TV make fun of ordinary people?
What are you doing?
I'm sorry. It's a fake TV.
Do you humans on fake TV eat Kigg's ramen right away?
No, no, no.
If you are Stockholm, are we Suedo Road?
No, no, no.
Go away!
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Go away!
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Are you trying to steal my lipstick?
Not yet, Ultraman! Come back soon, Ultraman!
At this rate, Japan... no, the earth will be in danger!
Ultraman is in trouble! His cesium is running low!
Hey!
Lea!
Is the proverb you know true or false?
It's great!
Welcome!
But I'm tired.
I know.
You're with me now.
Two white rice.
Welcome.
I'm glad you came.
The rice...
Oh, right.
Two oolong tea.
What?
Two oolong tea!
What's wrong with you?
Are you drunk or what?
I'm sorry.
You know how you are.
You shouldn't be so depressed all the time.
You're so angry that you're like...
I know you say that, but...
Why don't you give up and find another woman?
There's plenty of other women out there.
But...
There's one good woman out there.
This way.
No, this way.
Why don't you find her?
I can't.
You shouldn't whine like that.
You'll ruin her reputation.
Reputation?
It's been said for a long time...
An eye for an eye, a mouth for a mouth.
What?
What did you say?
An eye for an eye, a mouth for a mouth.
An eye for an eye, a mouth for a mouth?
That's right.
It's true!
It's true.
You're lying!
It's true!
It's true, right?
Should we give it a try?
Hey, let's give it a try.
An eye for an eye, a mouth for a mouth!
Let's do our best!
Yes!
May I?
What is it?
An eye for an eye, a mouth for a mouth!
Yes, yes, yes.
There are twelve kinds of cream puffs on the table now.
Each of them has mustard, wasabi, mentaiko, curry, red bean paste, cream, ice cream, garlic, natto, pickled plums, rakkyo, and salted squid!
That's all. There are twelve kinds of them.
Please eat them quickly.
Who?
You!
Why do I have to do it?
You're dressed like that!
Like what?
Like an eye for an eye.
Who is an eye for an eye?
Look at me! You're an eye for an eye!
I'm not an eye for an eye!
Oh, sorry.
I thought you'd say it's true.
Please sit down.
Everyone, may I?
Just one person!
Yes!
For one cream puff, only one person may speak.
Yes!
I'll tell you now!
Yes!
Ready?
Yes!
Okay, then!
First one!
Go ahead!
Open it up!
You can't say what's inside, right?
What?
Now, look at me! Look at me!
You!
Look at me!
Look at me! What are you doing?
Look at me properly!
Look at me properly! Look at me properly!
Look at me properly! What are you crying for?
Are you crying?
Hey! Itao!
Karate!
Karate?
Karate, right?
Answer me!
Karate, right?
Karate, no?
You big-headed bastard!
Karate, no?
Karate?
Karate, no?
Yes!
Wasabi!
Wasabi?
No!
Yes!
Nettou!
Can I say something?
What?
I don't know!
Eat it! Eat it up!
Eat it up!
You're actually kind of creamy...
You're kind of harmonious...
You don't know at all!
The second one!
Try it!
Don't tell me!
It's...
Hmm...
Ah!
This skin!
(laughter)
What is this outfit? (laughter)
Let's cherish food. (laughter)
What are you doing? (laughter)
Hello, nice to meet you.
My wife often takes care of me.
It seems so.
Thank you.
How is your wife's cooking?
The food is good.
Is that so?
She is strong-willed.
(laughter)
She is strong-willed.
It looks like you are jealous of her.
(laughter)
I'm not jealous of her.
Today is December 22nd.
Yes.
It's Christmas and New Year's Day.
Yes.
The theme is "can we make it in time?"
Yes.
It's fun to say "can we make it in time?"
I run a restaurant.
Yes.
First of all, I want to make it in time with food.
I see.
That means I usually prepare osechi in the evening.
I see.
Many people buy osechi now.
Many women buy osechi.
Yes.
This year, I can make enough osechi.
So, I want you to make osechi for me.
Really?
The last day of the year is the second day of the year.
I see.
Until then, I want you to make "tazukuri" with sesame seeds, sweet potato, black beans.
I see.
Since it's the second day of the year, I want you to make "sakana-rui" with it.
I want you to make about five osechi.
At home?
It's enough.
I can't make a lot of osechi.
I see.
First of all, I want you to tell your parents at home.
Yes.
It's rude not to tell your parents at home.
Yes.
I want you to do it.
I see.
What do you want me to do when I'm alone?
When you're alone, you should make some osechi by yourself.
By myself?
Yes.
I don't have time for that.
You don't have time for that.
So, on New Year's Eve, you should say to a pretty woman, "Come here. I made osechi for you."
Come here.
Yes.
If you don't like it, I'll eat it.
That's right.
So, you should make osechi for two or three people.
Yes.
But you should also cook for that woman.
You should say, "Make it for me."
You should make it and eat it together.
If you can do that, I hope you'll marry her.
Yes.
I'm using magic and medicine to seduce girls
I'll make sure to get them all
But I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't do anything for her
I was called "God of Girl Hunt"
Where was I?
Oh baby, oh sugar baby love
I fell in love with you at first sight
For the first time
It's painful, painful, painful, painful
I can't use magic and medicine for the first time
Miracle Power's love's magic potion
Baby, what should I do?
I got bitten by a bee!
Where are you?!
Where are you, if you're not late?!
My arm!
Take it!
Don't drink it!
What?!
Don't take it back!
Stop it! Stop it!
Hey!
You still have a foul mouth, don't you?
Huh?!
No matter how you look at it, you guys will never talk to Black Shark!
Never!
You sound like you know English.
Huh?! You mean now?
Hey!
Hey! You stink!
Is it easy to live?!
Don't think I'll do something like this! Don't look at me like that!
I used to be a disciple of that famous magician Shikida Tenko who escaped from prison!
I only need one of these logos and I'll be fine!
But that's not true!
You are...
Who are you?
You are...
Who are you?
You are...
Who are you?
Who are you?!
She's tough.
He's been directing a lot of haunted shows.
People say that you can't talk on TV without him.
Hey! What's going on?!
I'm sorry, but I did contact him.
You idiot!
Listen up! If we don't have a guest, this show will be over!
Yes, I'm sorry.
Don't worry about it.
Director!
What do you think of this?
(audience laughing)
Please introduce yourselves one by one.
I'm Jun Hayami. I'm five years old.
Thank you very much.
And next to you...
I'm Haramai. I'm eight years old.
Thank you very much.
And last but not least...
I'm Kentaro Santou. I'm nine years old.
Thank you very much.
Has Jun gotten a little stronger?
Yes.
(audience laughing)
Oniichan will appear here again today, but...
He'll sit here.
He's a little dark.
(audience laughing)
Aren't you scared?
I'm not scared.
(audience laughing)
Don't look!
Don't look! Don't look!
(audience laughing)
Do your best, okay?
If you're about to get killed, I'll help you.
Okay.
Now, let me introduce you.
Please be quiet!
Come on in!
He's talking!
Have some tea.
I thought you were tall, but you're not.
Why not?
Stand up.
See, I'm taller.
Are you crazy?
I'm taller.
You're not!
I thought you were cute, but I'm cuter.
Please introduce yourself.
I'm Matsumoto Hitoshi, 28 years old!
Nice to meet you!
I'm Nakamura Toru, 26 years old.
How old are you?
I'm Kitakai Noriko, 20 years old.
Nice to meet you!
Now, let's go up to the adult team.
The rules are simple.
First, the kids will draw.
What will you draw?
Please guess.
The kids' question is...
Here!
Get ready!
Go ahead!
Kids' team!
Welcome!
(Laughter)
Are you ready?
Yes, please stand up.
(Laughter)
Yes, Mai-chan is ready, too.
(Laughter)
Mai-chan...
(Laughter)
Mai-chan, you're a little clumsy.
(Laughter)
Yes, please stand up.
Yes, sir!
Now, look at this!
What is it?!
(Laughter)
First of all, this.
What is it?
Are you a mysterious man?
(Laughter)
What is this dot dot dot?
Shun.
Salt.
(Laughter)
He's sprinkling salt.
(Laughter)
Now, I understand this point.
Now, I want to say it!
Now, who is writing this?!
Please write it!
(Music)
(Buzzer)
Shun, do you like this person?
I like him.
You like him, don't you?
I like him.
But I don't know him.
I don't know him, either.
(Laughter)
No one has the old age of sadness in the rain.
(Laughter)
You guys!
Don't laugh!
(Laughter)
Yes!
I really don't know!
Yes.
I really don't know!
Yes, yes, yes.
This is strange. It's not up to date.
What is it?
"Kirinji".
(Laughter)
And I don't know the letters, either!
(Laughter)
"Kirinji"!
(Laughter)
That's it!
And I thought it was "kirinji"!
But "kirinji" is...
What? "Takahanada".
Yes.
"Takahanada".
Yes, yes, yes.
I only know "taihou".
"Taihou"!
I really don't know.
What is your answer?
I'll take a step back and...
Yes.
"Tachihiroshi", like "Rikishi".
(Laughter)
I see!
It's obvious!
I think it's obvious.
You!
Yes.
I want you to be correct!
You!
Takahisa!
I don't know if it's correct or not, but...
I think it's "wajima-san-kacchou-no-muji" or "wakata- kacchou-no-muji".
It's "gyōgo-san-kacchou-no-muji"!
(Laughter)
Let's see your answer.
Please say your answer every time.
What is your answer?
It's "konishiki".
It's "konishiki"!
That means you're all wrong!
(Screams)
I'm being licked!
(Laughter)
Am I the only one who got licked?
No, no, no.
Is everyone like that?
Is that "konishiki"?!
(Laughter)
Eat it!
(Laughter)
Don't look! Don't look!
Now, for the second question, the adult team will answer it.
Now, everyone on TV and in the audience, here is the question.
Adult team!
Answer it!
(Laughter)
Don't look! Don't look!
(Laughter)
I'm emphasizing it, right?
Yes.
Now, answer it!
(Laughter)
Now, are you ready?
Now, you've answered it, right?
What could it be?
Maeda, what does it look like?
An old man or an old woman sleeping.
I see.
Kentaro, what does it look like?
Same to me, sleeping.
Shun, what does it look like?
Same to me.
Same to you?
What's wrong with you?!
(Laughter)
It's because everyone said it!
It's because you said it!
You thought I was sleeping, didn't you?!
That's right.
Yes, you're sleeping!
Wake up!
Shun!
Think about it yourself.
Let's start with Mai-chan.
Mai-chan, please show us.
Down!
Sleeping while dreaming!
Kentaro!
Drooling while dreaming.
Shun, please show us.
Down!
While dreaming.
What about you, Kentaro?
While dreaming.
No, not while dreaming!
Hey!
What are you doing?
Hey!
Oh, is that so?
Is that so?
Yes.
While dreaming.
Everyone is dreaming, right?
Yes, yes.
But it's simple.
Yes.
It's snoring.
What is this?
Well, people who snore often have something like this...
They have something like this...
What?
They have something like this...
Doesn't it look like poop?
I see.
I'm done talking about you.
And with that...
Everyone, get out of the way!
Hey!
What are you looking at?
Yes.
Let's wash our faces!
Well, I guess you could say that.
You know, the teachers on TV are usually angry with girls, right?
Yes.
What's wrong with that? Does it annoy you?
Annoying? No, it's the same everywhere.
When we were kids, if we did something wrong, of course my parents would be angry.
The teachers at school would beat us up.
And there were uncles and aunts in the neighborhood who were angry with each other.
If we did something wrong now, they'd say, "You're dangerous!" and leave our kids alone.
I see.
I feel sorry for them.
I see.
It hinders their growth, but it's bad for a father and a mother.
I see.
Being a good parent and telling them what's wrong is love.
I see.
In that sense...
It's still too early for them to have children.
I see.
If you do something wrong, it'll get better.
I see.
It's bad if you're an adult and you can't fix it.
That's right.
Right?
It's like a child's house.
The iron is hot.
But you seem a little stupid.
Idiot!
It's not like that.
You idiot!
You're going to get in trouble again!
You never eat instant food, do you?
It's not like that!
People who can cook make a lot of food, don't they?
Yes.
But I often eat leftover miso soup and cold rice.
Oh, you do?
Yes.
You know, you make it yourself and say, "I did it!"
It's like that on TV shows, too.
But when you eat it, do you ever think, "Wow, this is bad"?
I do.
Do you have that much confidence in yourself?
You do, don't you?
It's human nature.
Oh, you do?
For example, there's food you have to make in five minutes.
Yes, yes, yes.
If you want to make food in five minutes,
if you finish it in three minutes,
two minutes isn't enough.
That's right.
If you do that, it won't cook completely.
It won't be good.
But do you eat it because you think it's good?
No, I don't eat it because it's good.
It's bad.
If you eat something bad, you'll have a bad face.
Because it's not medicine.
If you eat something bad, you'll have a bad face.
But you say it's good, don't you?
I don't say it.
I say it's good.
You're a valentine, aren't you?
If you say it's good, you're honest.
You're late with the guitar.
What are you talking about? It's your bass that's slow, isn't it?
Stop it, both of you.
It's because of the noisy, noisy Yasko's drums, isn't it?
Enough of this.
Hey, let's all get along.
If we do this, we won't make it in time for the live show.
We're the only ones who can do the team work.
You and Yasko, too.
Right?
That's right.
I'm sorry, Yasko.
You too, Hina.
Right.
Come here, leader, and hurry up and sing.
Yes, yes.
Let's go with "popcorn love".
Our school has a history of one hundred years.
Our seniors' achievements are worth looking at.
That's no good. I'm starting to feel sick.
I'm going to the insurance office.
Okay, I'll raise my hand.
I can still make it in time.
Insurance office...
Teacher, Matsumoto fell again.
He fell again.
He's not active anymore.
So...
Don't make him a student!
He's grown up.
This is...
He's become a big burden for us.
We can't forget that!
That youth that continues to run!
Youth is...
This song that we can't cut off!
"Tiredness"!
Melt! Melt! Thief!
You will be punished as you are with someone else!
Before you are punished someday,
Stop it! There is still time!
Stop it!
You will be punished as you are with someone else!
Shigeru!
According to my investigation,
you will not be punished until the next inspection.
Come on, Shigeru!
Find this house and destroy it!
And take all the money from the safe!
Wow!
What are you doing?
Shigeru! Shigeru!
Find the safe!
Hey!
I found it!
Do you see it?
There is a red wire cable around the safe.
I will cut it with a nipper.
Give me the nipper!
I will cut the cable with it.
How much is it?
I said it is a nipper!
Give me the nipper!
What are you thinking about?
I said it is a nipper!
What are you thinking about?
Get out of here!
Captain!
The enemy has surrounded us!
Don't give up!
It's too early!
Something must have been shot!
I know it!
There must be something!
There is still time!
Captain!
There is an enemy!
Damn it!
It can't be helped!
Let's go to the opposite direction!
Go!
I know it!
Let's go to the top of America!
Yes!
I am a warrior of Ogama!
Be prepared!
Yes!
I don't have bullets!
Go!
I will do it!
Go!
I will do it with my cell phone!
Scissors!
I will do it! I will do it!
No! Not like that!
Just one more!
Okay! I will do it for the last time! Go!
Ah! My leg! It hurts! It hurts!
Let's go!
Let's go! Let's go!
Go! Go! Go!
Let's go! Let's go!
What would you like?
I'm sorry, but it's late at night. Can you stay a little longer?
Is it today? Please wait a moment!
Excuse me!
I'm sorry, but could you let me stay in your room?
My room?
My room...
Well, it's okay!
Thank you very much!
(laughing)
What's wrong with you?
Give it back!
If you don't want it, say something!
Apologize!
Give it back!
(laughing)
What's up with this guy?
Don't underestimate me!
Get out of here!
Stop him!
That's why I've always been at Harvard University!
Wow! So you're fluent in English?
Uh-huh!
Wow! That's so cool!
Excuse me? I lost my way? Would you tell me the way to the airport?
Hey, hey, hey! What are you saying? Answer me!
Apollo chocolate!
What?!
Hey!
Are you guys still alive?!
Yeah!
But you know, even if I were reborn, I'd still like to be a cockroach.
Of course you would!
Hey, listen up!
What is it?
Before I die, there's something I want to say.
Actually, I heard that there's someone in here who's not a cockroach.
Don't be stupid!
That's right!
Anyway, let's think of a way to get out of here.
We might still make it in time.
Yeah, you're right.
But it's dark in here and we can't see anything.
I see.
How about this?!
What?!
KENZO MATSUMOTO
I'm Kenzo Matsumoto.
As a hard-boiled writer, I'd like to say...
...that the men of today are all cowards.
Tough, hard, and kind.
The true spirit of a man!
Watch my "Gaida" impulse story...
...and learn from it! Adiooooooo!
I woke up in the morning. My stomach hurts.
Last night at Hammer's bar, we both drank too much.
As I thought, alcohol is human. And only straight.
Good morning, Matsu. It's Ayashi.
You haven't asked me for a job for a while.
The landlord gave you three times your rent.
And you told me to come and write a report on the recent violent incident.
I'm Hayashida.
My salary is stable.
Why don't you work a little more seriously?
And your bar application is like a mountain...
As usual, Mrs. Hayashida doesn't seem to be in a good mood.
Well, if you get a big job, you'll get a new bed and a beautiful wife.
That's all there is to it.
President Tojo of Tojo Fushan has asked you for a job.
Your salary is 3 million yen. I'll tell you more at your bar.
It's easy to keep a bar open until 9 o'clock.
I roll up girls' rooms and don't let a single woman in for more than an hour.
THE END
♪ The things you have cherished ♪
♪ Are things that you have heard ♪
How do you do, Mr. Motts?
It's "Mats".
I have a request from President Dojo.
Cold manazashi suits you well.
Only you, only you.
It's an easy job for a ten-year-old child.
The president's daughter is missing.
If you can find her, it will be a great success.
Good luck, Mr. Motts.
How are you doing, Mr. Motts?
It's great, Ama.
Mr. Motts, who is she now?
The goddess of fortune.
I don't know who she is now, but I'd like to ride her in case of danger.
I'm good at solving mysteries with my hands.
But I don't like this place.
It's the shop of Smokey Tom, the face of the mafia.
Hey, where are you going?
Show me your shop.
I said show me your shop!
Hey!
Come on, stand up!
This is my shop!
Come on!
Move it!
I said move it!
Come on!
Move it!
Matsu, you've made your appearance quite lively.
Okay, brother. I surrender.
Do you know anyone?
No.
Tsutsukuri Manbo! Tsutsukuri Manbo! Tsutsukuri Manbo!
In the end, the investigation went back to the beginning.
I'll have to start over again.
Tsutsukuri Manbo! Tsutsukuri Manbo!
Yes, hello?
It's President Tojo's representative.
We've found Ms. Tojo.
T-that means Ms. Tojo's three million yen...
Of course not.
That's terrible! That's terrible!
Oh, you and your wife are young.
We...
How old are you?
Sixteen.
We...
Aren't you Robinta?
No, I'm not.
We've had a lot of trouble, sir.
That's right.
We've had a lot of trouble with your wife.
Give me the money.
Why?
Give me the money.
We've had a lot of trouble with you.
You've gotten bigger and bigger.
What do you mean?
Come over here.
Why are you saying that?
You've gotten bigger and bigger.
Look at you.
I don't want to lose to young people like you.
Is your wife still healthy?
Of course she is.
How old is she?
Fifty-one years old.
She's still young even at fifty-one years old?
She's still young.
Does your wife call you "hey, woman," even when you're out walking?
Of course she does.
If she doesn't call you "hey, woman," you can't do anything about it, can you?
My wife and my wife are two different things.
I think what's good is good.
That's true.
Do you take "hey, woman" or "hey, woman" sometimes?
Of course I take "hey, woman" sometimes.
What are you talking about?
Do you take "hey, woman" sometimes?
Of course I do.
Taking "hey, woman" is the basic proof.
It's not just about clothes and weight.
Young people who are single can also take "hey, woman" or "hey, woman" sometimes.
For example, my personality is conservative.
If I don't get excited about girls, I won't be able to cook.
If I don't have the will...
It's because you have girls.
That's right.
I get excited about good food and good alcohol.
I try to make good food and bad food.
I can still make it in life.
- You can still make it in life. - I can't.
- Okay, you can do it. - You can do it.
- Anyway, thank you for today. - Thank you.
- Here you are. - Thank you.
I went to Hawaii for New Year's. Do you have any tickets?
I don't know. You barely made it.
I don't know what to do. I'm a celebrity. I can't go to Hawaii for New Year's.
- Let's try it. - Okay.
- I have one. - Really? That's good.
- It's economical, right? - You're so cute.
I'm a celebrity. I have to be first class or I'm not cool.
I'm sorry, talent.
What?
- I have one. - Really? - Yes.
Who are you?
I'm sorry.
Who is it?
I can't see you.
Who is it?
I found you.
I've never seen you before.
Who is it?
You don't know?
It should be quite popular now.
Oh, is it?
Hama-chan.
- Hama-chan? - Yes.
- Hama-chan? - Hama-chan.
No, my partner, Mat-chan.
I know Mat-chan, but...
Byakult.
Provided by Japan Residence Finance.