AISubs v3.4
My lord, please take this.
You're pretty good at this.
Oh, no! I found it!
I forgot my sword!
Who are you?
I'm your ally.
You're lying!
You're suspicious.
No, you're wrong.
No, I'm your fan.
You don't think I'm suspicious, do you?
No!
You think I'm your ally, don't you?!
No!
Turn around three times and say "fan"!
Fan!
I can't trust you yet.
Why not?!
You're a dog police officer.
You're a lost computer!
But you're a terrible person.
I'm so upset!
Do you want to be saved by doing that?
Yes.
No, no, no.
I didn't ask you all to gather here today, but...
Today, we have a chimpanzee, Maria, who is said to have the closest intelligence to human beings.
Let's do an experiment with her.
Look at this.
What does she do when you look at her?
I'd like to try it.
I'm going to call Maria.
Look at her.
Maria?
She's pretty, isn't she?
Oh, it's Ogman!
Ogman, don't eat it!
Say something!
Oh, it's boring!
Mori, go home!
- Yes, everyone, be quiet. - Be quiet, please.
Today, we have good news to make you happy.
From today, we will have one more friend.
- We don't need friends anymore! - That's right, teacher!
We can't let that idiot go home!
Hey, young man!
- Who is it? - I don't know, who is it?
- It's you, idiot! - Shut up!
- Big brother! - Big brother!
- It's you, idiot!
Teacher, I forgot to tell you.
Hamada's father is working in Osaka.
- Let's get along well. - But you have to tell me what's important first!
- Okay! - We can't let him go home!
- Isn't this your first time? - With a woman?
Mitsuru!
- Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you, too.
- So, you're back on Sunday at 8. Congratulations! - Thank you!
- I'm sure you've seen our shows before. - The thing is, the tone is too high.
- It's too high. - You were like, "Whoa!"
- No, it's because we're practicing in a big theater and with a loud voice.
- Are you guys out of breath? - No, we're not.
- You guys can't be like this.
- If you keep talking, you'll get dragged in. - No, we won't.
- It's because we're nervous. - That's right.
- We're starting today, so if you say hello properly, it'll be like, "Nice to meet you."
- You go first. - What? - You go first.
- I don't know what you're talking about!
- If you say, "I'm your son," it'll be like, "Bam!"
- You go first, Waraigo-chan. - I'll do my best.
- Thank you.
- Why? - You're being sloppy.
- We often hear that you can't say your first greeting properly.
- When I wake up in the morning, I say, "Mr. Henen, you like me, don't you?"
- I say, "I can't say that." - But you say, "Good morning" properly.
- "Good morning." - You say it in a friendly and polite way.
- "Good morning." - You say it in the morning.
- "Good morning," like you say it to your children.
- I say, "Make a refreshing morning greeting with a loud voice."
- I say, "Good morning," like a good parent would say to their children.
- "Good morning," like a good mother would say to her children.
- It's very refreshing.
- I'm scared of being told that in the morning.
- I'm afraid of waking up in the morning and saying it.
- I think the same.
- You two are the bad guys in the world.
♪ I am a magician ♪
I'm going to bring a girl to you
I'm going to make you mine
But I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't let her have you
She called me "Goddess of Gas"
Where was I?
Oh baby, oh sugar baby love
The first time I fell in love with you
Setsunai, setsunai, setsunai, setsunai kimochi
Umarete hajimete mahou no kusui ga kikanai
Miracle power no koi no magic potion
Baby, doushitara ii no?
Secret
Nihon Jutaku Kinryuu
P & G, meidencho no teikyo de okuri shimasu
Omune, hate, setsugi, nobashite
Kottoto, kottoto
Omune, hate, setsugi, nobashite
Wow! What an eccentric bamboo!
Maybe there is a treasure inside!
Nice to meet you, and goodbye.
Princess Kaguya!
Hey, you!
Who are you?
I don't know you.
You don't know me?
Do you have a knife?
Did you do the same thing?
No, I didn't.
I'll kill you!
Hey!
Are you underestimating me?
Hey!
You, go!
I'm sorry!
You fool!
I'll kill you!
Who do you think you are?
Get out of here!
Hi!
Your friend in front of the TV?
How are you?
Grandpa!
Dad!
Grandpa!
Dad!
Grandpa!
Calm down!
Thank you for coming!
Ma'am!
How are you?
I'm fine!
Seven-eyed army!
Ah!
I forgot it!
Nice to meet you.
I'm Imada, and I'm a middle-aged man now.
Nice to meet you.
What's this?
Oh, thank you.
Here you go.
Cheers!
This company is so energetic and young.
Cheers!
This company is so energetic and young.
You have a bald head.
You don't look well.
Hey! Hey!
A bald man is drinking beer over there.
Where is he?
One, two!
Why? Why are you so serious?
You have a bald head.
You don't look well.
You have a bald head.
Pestles are scary when they come in groups.
Pestles eat up grass.
It's still a tough mountain.
One, two...
Why do Japanese people always say hello?
That's because...
We have a high efficiency body.
When I look around me, I only see people I don't know.
It's not good for you.
Even if you don't know me well, if you say you know me well, you'll be beaten up later.
It's no use.
That's right, that's right.
I'm looking forward to it.
Yeah, me too.
Are you jealous?
No, I'm not.
You're being arrogant.
I want a girlfriend, too.
What are you talking about?
Over here!
Why is it like this?
I like Shinjuku.
All my friends are here, so I don't like it here.
You don't like it?
I don't like it here.
I said I don't like it!
I don't like it here!
You're being arrogant!
What is that?
Who is that young lady?
You're being cocky.
She's cute.
Economics?
I can't believe you didn't notice it.
He's back!
You're a good boy.
I fought for the first time, I hit people for the first time, and I won for the first time.
Hanajibu!
Excuse me.
The doctor will be here soon.
Please have some tea and wait for him.
Thank you.
It's okay.
Please sit down.
Thank you.
Doctor, I'm a reporter for Fuji TV.
I'm a reporter for 830.
I'm Hamada.
Nice to meet you.
I'll get started.
May I?
Yes.
Doctor, I've been a doctor for 50 years.
What do you think is the charm of swordsmanship?
You mean I can't tell lies?
I see.
You mean, unlike humans, I can only tell you the truth?
That's right.
I see.
Doctor, you can only tell me the truth?
You mean me?
I see.
You mean I can only tell you the truth about your life?
What did you say?
Are you humans always like this?
Doctor!
Do you take a taxi with a ticket?
Thank you for your concern, doctor.
Do we humans always like this?
Stop it! Stop it!
How many times do I have to tell you?
Do you shoot up immediately?
Do you steal people's hearts?
I'm sorry about that.
What are you?
Thank you for your concern, doctor.
If you are human beings, are we roads?
Go home!
I'm sorry.
Go home!
I'm sorry. Please go home.
Thank you for your concern.
Do you humans always like this?
Go home!
Do you run away?
Please go home!
Do we humans always like this?
For the first time...
I put on a perm.
Of course, I failed.
Okay! Awesome!
- How can you say such words? - It's an experiment quiz.
- What does it mean? - I've been doing it for a long time.
Experiment... Well, it's a little long to explain it.
- Please listen to me. - Yes.
- It's an experiment quiz. - It's long.
Now, let me introduce the guest speakers.
First of all, this is Toru Nakamura!
Hello.
Next is Yutaka Sakai!
And the next guest speaker is...
Mr. Wada Tadakuto!
- What? - Well, it's hard to say...
- "Chin-tato"! - Yes.
- He's saying it now. - He is, isn't he?
- "Chin-tato". - Please don't hesitate.
Thank you very much.
Now, what is the first question about?
The first question is...
It's an unnecessary experiment.
Can a human swim in the water?
Well, then...
If we swim in the water,
can we swim forward like a shark in the water?
I'd like to experiment it right now.
Now, let's welcome the swimmer, Pyontaro!
Where are you?
Are you there?
I found you!
Where are you?
What are you doing?
Nobody cares about you!
Now, let's make you fly!
What?
Let's make you fly and float!
There's no way you can do that!
I've prepared something that you can do!
Are you ready?!
What is it?
We've prepared something like this for you to float!
What is it?
This is it!
Wow, amazing!
Two or three thousand balloons!
There's an amino acid in it.
If you have this many balloons,
how much can you save from drinking?
If you were in Osaka, you'd be eating rice balls!
Now, let's make you float and swim forward like a shark in the water!
Now, let's swim in the water!
Can we swim forward like a shark in the water?!
Let's go!
Thank you very much.
As you can see in the video,
we've prepared 23,000 balloons for you.
Those three buckets, right?
That's right.
Will Pyontaro be able to float or not?
Will he be able to float or not?
We'd like you to think about that.
I'd like to think about it a little.
Did you just do it with your hands and feet like this, or did you use some kind of tool to do it?
No, I didn't use any tools at all.
You put it in a sharp place.
I swam.
I see.
Why didn't you tell me?
You're a dad, aren't you? Tell me!
No, not at all.
Please play.
Go!
Did you float first? Were you shot? Did you go forward? Didn't you stop?
Now, take it out of the cut. Go ahead!
I probably won't go forward.
Yes!
Sakai!
I...flew, and I hit the ceiling.
You flew and wandered around the ceiling!
Oh! You flew and kept flying!
The ceiling! Why am I here?
- Who is it? - "Floating" and "moving forward"
- The original is "the Wright brothers fighting each other" - That's crazy!
Well, let's see who's right!
- So... who was it again? - Huh? "Gero Gero"? Who's that?
- It's Kyonta! - Oh, it's Kyonta!
- Well, let's start the experiment! - I'm scared!
- I'm a doctor, so I think I can do it. - I'm scared! I'm scared! I'm scared!
- Then, let's go! - Okay, let's go!
- No, no, no! - I'm moving!
- I'm scared, scared, scared, scared!
- Hey, don't go forward!
- What?! - Don't go forward!
- Where are you going?! - Forward! Forward!
- Forward! This way! - Oh, my head hurts! My head hurts!
- Forward! This way! Forward! This way!
- Move forward! Move forward! - A... a bullet...
- Hey, you! A bullet! You're a coward!
- Forward! Move forward! Forward!
- Get out of the way! Get out of the way!
- Move forward! - Get out of the way!
- Well, this is the result of the experiment. - I'm scared!
- It's floating, but it doesn't go forward!
- This is the result of the experiment!
- It's no good at all!
- But it was fun!
- Get me down! Get me down! For real!
- I don't like it! - I went up there!
- This way!
- I'll definitely get you down!
- Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
- Shut up! - Come on! Take me down!
- I'm scared! I'm scared! I'm scared!
- I'm scared!
- It's floating, but it doesn't go forward!
- This is the result of the experiment!
- Good luck, everyone. - Thank you.
- Now, the second question is... - Yes?
- If humans drink one liter of water, do they gain one kilogram of weight?
- This was also asked in that era.
- I didn't want to do it at all.
When humans drink one liter of water, do they gain one kilo of weight?!
With that said, as I said earlier,
when we drink one liter of water, do we gain one kilo of weight?
I would like to call Hamada-yama, who is troubled by not gaining weight.
Hamada-yama, please come in!
- Hello! - Hello.
- Yes, hello. - Hello.
Hamada-yama is troubled by not gaining weight.
- No, I don't like it. - No, I want to do it like this.
- Oh, is that so? - Yes.
- He is troubled by it. - Yes.
- Would you like to try this experiment? - No, I'm not troubled.
- What is it? - I don't want to do this experiment at all.
- No, no, you have to do it. - Yes.
- It's something you can learn. - Is that so?
- And it's something you can watch on TV and learn. - Oh, is that so?
- Yes, I would like you to do it. - Then hold your breath! Hold your breath!
60.3...
This is a little difficult to experiment with.
It's better to make it 61 kilos.
Let's hold something.
Let's...
- Let's do it. - Yes.
- Let's hold this. - Huh?!
63! Oh, it's fine!
We will start from 63.
- Okay? We will drink one liter of water in this state. - Yes.
- And it will be 64 kilos. - Yes.
- This is the experiment. - I see. - Okay, Hamazayama, please get off.
- Okay, let's try it. - Yes.
- Are you on board, Hamazayama?! - Yes!
- You are on board! - Yes!
- Let's go! - Let's go!
- Let's start with Kyuta. - Yes!
- He gained one kilo. - I think so.
- He gained about one kilo. - He gained.
- He gained about one kilo. - What are you talking about?
- He is a light brother. - A light brother?
- I didn't know that. - I didn't know that.
- Let's see. How much did he gain?
Well then, Hamada-san, let's do it!
Ah, something is leaking.
Well then, Hamada-san, I'll leave it to you.
What's with you?
Take this.
What are you doing?
I borrowed it from my parents.
It's watermelon!
If you don't like it, add some salt.
I don't like it at all!
What are you doing?
You sound like a monster!
Good, go, go, go!
Don't stop!
How much is left?
Four hundred.
A little more, a little more, a little more!
Hamada-san!
What?
Good, good, good!
Okay!
Let's do it.
Face the bus and go!
I don't know it well, but...
I didn't drink it.
Okay! Will it be sixty-four kilos? Will it?
Hold your breath, hold your breath.
Come on!
Show me one more time.
Hold your breath.
Look!
There's not even a little leak.
You scared me!
I'm such a man!
You're such a man! You have such a big heart!
I'm such a man!
And so...
You're so cool!
It didn't even weigh 0.0 something kilos.
It gained exactly 1 kilo!
It's a huge success!
Mr. Kaneda, thank you very much!
Mr. Kaneda, it's a huge success!
That's right!
You're right, Mr. Kaneda!
Now, with that, I will present you with the results of these two tests!
It was a tough quiz! Thank you very much!
- Tongou-shi, Hiroshi! - Yes?
- I'll be pushing you from behind... - Yes?
- ...so we'll get a good balance, okay? - Okay!
- Okay, here we go! - Yes!
Hiroshi!
Get in!
Are you okay?
You have to look ahead!
Here we go!
Hiroshi!
What's up?
Let's do it again!
Get in!
Hiroshi!
Get up!
That's enough!
Thank you very much!
Excuse me.
Nice to meet you.
I like you.
Will you go out with me?
I'm an outlaw who doesn't have a job and is wandering around.
But my feelings for you are serious.
I'm a frog.
What is your hobby?
Golf.
How much do you play?
I play it a couple of times a week, but my handicap doesn't decrease.
What is your hobby?
Matchmaking.
I play it a couple of times a week, but my handicap increases.
What is your hobby?
Singing.
In order to protect the peace of the earth, he came from the M-79 meteor shower.
His special technique is the Specium Beam.
Dear?
I want to hear heavy metal!
Where am I? What am I doing here?
You've come to your senses, Matsumoto. You've been reincarnated.
I've become a woman.
She's your friend.
Nice to meet you.
You're not her!
Nice to meet you! I'm Mimikaki!
At first, I was often told "feel good, feel good" by everyone,
but recently I've been getting a little dirty, and I feel like I'm being pushed by a cotton swab!
Ah, but! But I still feel good about you all, and I have confidence in cleaning up!
Ah, and also! Please don't use it after you've taken a bath!
It'll get all sticky!
When I first met you, you said hello.
I'm Kimura and I'm seventeen years old.
Where did we meet?
We met in Umeda.
What was I like at the time?
You were naked in your underwear and eating rice.
I was in Umeda's second floor.
That was a bad first impression.
It was terrible!
What were you eating?
Chinese food!
There were about eight of them lined up!
And you were running for a long time!
And you were holding rice in your hand and eating eight of them!
And you said "good morning," and I said "oh, good morning."
You're like a middle schooler.
Hey, you're lying!
Kenji!
No way!
Eight!
Hey, adults! mind what you're saying!
Hey, you're lying!
Young people make people do chores!
It's true, but doing it on a tatami,
and putting eight of them in the room for like an hour,
putting eight of them in the room for like an hour,
it can't be much fun!
It's true!
But that's what you were like!
You were spinning tatamis like you did with old old- fashioned food!
Nooo...
That's funny...
No, no, no, no, no one does that!
No, no, no, it's a gag that goes all the way to the tatami.
I see, I see.
I'll try it too.
That's funny!
I'll have you laugh at least once.
I'll laugh at least once!
No, no, no, it's a gag that goes all the way to the tatami.
If you do that, you'll get me in trouble, you know.
- Here's your order. - Hot.
- Me too. - Thank you.
- How much is it? - Seven thousand yen.
- Really? - Here you are.
- What is it? - Hot, please.
I asked for it! Hot!
- Hot? - Hot?
No, no, no, no, no, no!
- I'm sorry. - Is this your first time here?
Nice to meet you. I'm the other one.
- I'm tired. - I'm out of water.
Good evening.
- Hot coffee! - Me too.
- Where should we go after this? - Where should we go?
- We haven't decided yet. - Right.
- What should we do? - I'm bored.
- Hey! - Yes?
- What's this? - It's not orange. It's "oremo".
I said "oremo". I didn't say "hot coffee".
It's "me too", isn't it?
"Oremo". "Oremo". "Oremo". "Oremo". "Oremo". "Oremo". "Oremo". "Oremo". "Oremo".
I'm sorry. It's her first time. Are you okay?
The first Olympic Games!
Hello, everyone!
On December 8, 1991, the Olympic Games, which have been a dream of mankind for many years, will be held here in Tokyo.
Now, this is the birthplace of the Olympics, Honorary Chairman Mrs. Zura! Please come in!
Hello, Mrs. Zura.
I'm Mrs. Zura, who has come from Copenhagen and whose Japanese hasn't improved at all yet.
You're so skinny!
What's wrong with you?
I'm sorry, but when I dance Chiwaki-nikko, I look like I'm about to fly.
Why do you say that?
I'm sorry, but I don't have a character yet.
You say that all the time!
Until this Olympic Games, I'm in a state where I can't do Chiwaki-nikko very well.
What happens if you do that?
I see!
I'd like you to grasp one more thing.
That's right!
Let's take a look!
The first threat is...
This!
Entry number one! Gabrielle Kitty, France, 40 years old.
What does that mean?
In France, it means "brown-haired girl".
When you walk in the city, you hear "brown-haired girl", "brown-haired girl", and you are afraid of her.
You are afraid of her!
Entry number two! Brian Bardiski, America, 30 years old.
What does that mean?
He is said to be a "running gay".
He likes men more than sandwiches and food.
He is laughing!
Yes, he is aiming for someone.
Entry number three! Simon Walton, England, 26 years old.
He is young. He is the youngest of all the competitors.
He is said to be an "olympic climber".
He is old.
Entry number four! Fan Jun, China, 38 years old.
What does that mean?
He is said to be a "tongue-tied Shumai guy".
It means "I don't know".
What should we do?
Entry number four! Maeda Katsuya, Japan, 40 years old.
What does that mean?
He lost his horse two years ago.
Don't say things like that!
He is said to be a "tongue-tied Shumai guy".
Entry number four! Oriyama Hiroshi, Japan, 49 years old.
What does that mean?
He is said to be a "tongue-tied Shumai guy".
Entry number seven! Subaru Hiroshi, Japan, 48 years old.
He is said to be a "tongue-tied Shumai guy".
What does that mean?
He is said to be a "tongue-tied Shumai guy".
Let's do our best!
Who will be the best?
The start is good.
Who is third?
Simon, Simon Walton.
As expected, Simon Walton is fast.
Simon Walton is fast.
I do not know what it is.
It is wonderful.
The start is good.
It is noisy.
It is scary.
The first race, 100 meters, was finished by Simon Walton.
The next race is here.
Let's start with the first person.
The first person is Gabriel Chikki from France.
He is in good condition today.
This is a great record.
Is it a special race?
It is good.
Gabriel Chikki is happy.
It is amazing.
This is a competition.
Viewers of TV, please watch it again in slow motion.
I am excited, too.
Are you excited?
Yes.
Brian Bardiski.
What will happen to Brian after watching it?
This is also a high score.
As I often say, it is not good to be jealous of others.
Is that so?
Oriyama Hiroshi.
Let's do our best.
How about this?
Oriyama Hiroshi is out of the race.
It is similar to Maeda Katsuyo.
Where is it?
8 meters and 10 centimeters.
In Japan, 8 meters and 10 centimeters are the same.
That's right.
You are smart.
Oriyama Hiroshi is smart.
You are smart.
Finally, Entry No. 7.
Suguri Hiroshi.
How about this?
Suguri Hiroshi is out of the race.
What will happen?
Minus 3 centimeters.
I think this is not a record in Japan.
The third jump is...
12 meters and 94 centimeters.
Gabriel Chiquira of France.
This race is a win.
This is the last race.
This race is a theme song of this competition.
"Zura Zura Island".
Let's enjoy this race.
"Agiyo Go Sagushi".
Chinese people...
Chinese people are throwing.
facial expression...
facial expression is discouraging.
Facial expression is good.
However, facial expressions are discouraging.
The state of this fallen zura is cool again.
Four meters.
However, you did your best in Japan.
Three meters is good.
The next place I want to go is Oriyama Hiroshi.
Now, facial expression is Oriyama Hiroshi.
Zura is beautiful.
Four meters is regrettable.
You did your best.
However, you did your best in Oriyama Hiroshi.
You did your best in Oriyama Hiroshi.
Now, facial expression is Oriyama Hiroshi.
You did your best in Oriyama Hiroshi.
It was close.
It was a disappointing result.
Result announcement and award ceremony.
Now, all competitions are over.
The first zura olympic champion is decided.
It was a great battle.
All competitions are over.
The winner is Simon Morton of England.
Congratulations!
What will you do in the next competition?
The venue will change.
Is there a next competition?
Yes, there is.
I want to meet you again in four years.
Where will you meet me?
In four years, I will meet you in Fujima Gijun's house.
Thank you.
Let's meet in Fujima Gijun's house in four years!
Goodbye!
The first fruit salad in Tokyo.
Tomoko Naraoka opened it for me.
I was very happy.
I said "thank you" and I was about to eat it.
But Sayuri made this salad for me.
Sayuri made this fruit salad for me.
I was very surprised.
You guys should have paid attention to her behavior!
The way she looks at you...
The way she reacts...
She is not listening to you 100% seriously!
No, no, we have to do this.
If you say it's not a problem, it's a problem.
Cameramen and directors and actors.
It's like this.
When you concentrate, it's terrible.
You can't edit it later.
I know.
I've heard it enough today.
I know.
I've heard it enough.
It's not like that.
Is that so?
Let me say something.
Let me say something today.
Everyone, please support this show every week.
Do your best.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
Nice to meet you.
Who are you?
I'm like this.
Where are you from?
I'm from this staircase.
What do you want?
Sir!
Today is a lucky day, sir!
This...
They say that just putting it in your house brings good luck.
Ouch!
Sir!
Ouch!
Are you all right?
Is your face all right?
Ouch!
They say that just putting it in your house brings good luck.
Today, I'll give you 50,000 yen.
You're lucky, sir!
Just one grain?
It's not just one grain.
Today, it's 50,000 yen.
Are you all right?
No, it's 50,000 yen.
Can you bring me some green onions?
Please think about it!
Excuse me!
Is this...
a broadcast?!