AISubs v3.4
The strongest project for children who have become rich and powerful!
"Don't Laugh" series!
This year, in 2012, we will broadcast it for 6 hours in Toshimata!
The theme is "American Police"!
The police station, which has become a talk of the town, and the police officers waiting for five people are...
The strongest series broadcast!
The best super luxurious lineup!
Today, we will show you "American Police", which you must not laugh at, before anyone else!
"American Police" at 2 p.m., which you must not laugh at!
We will show you it before anyone else, special!
"American Police" at 2 p.m., which you must not laugh at!
Before that broadcast, we had a press conference.
Thank you for coming.
Can we go over there?
To Mrs. Haruma?
We're from Fukuoka.
I'm sure you'd like to go over there.
Then we'll go over there.
Did I interrupt you?
No, it's fine.
When you said it, I went in right away.
What did you think I'd do?
"American Police" at 2 p.m., which you must not laugh at!
I heard you were able to finish filming this year as well.
I'm embarrassed.
Can you tell us how you felt about filming it?
It was tough this year as well.
Is your wife divorced?
Was it January?
No, it's May.
May?
Not now.
Like yesterday?
Yes, it's May.
It's not something I can say now.
She's been having a hard time this year.
Yes, we got divorced in May.
That's enough.
It's our first time filming "American Police".
You're a lonely man.
That's right.
We've done it 12 times, including "New Year's Day".
"American Police" at 2 p.m., which you must not laugh at!
I don't know how it's set up.
It's not America.
It's not even Poland.
It's not like there's a lot of provinces.
I didn't know much about it, but I had fun filming it.
There's no such thing as "earth defense force".
There's no end to it.
That's right.
This year is also...
suitable for the end of the year.
The end of the year?
It's finally happening.
It happens every year.
Next year is "downtown".
Let's have a general meeting of the NHK.
I'm looking for an offer or not.
How about you, Hosei?
Unlike the members, I have a scratch on my butt.
What do you mean?
You can see it if you look at it.
I have a scratch like a mural on my butt.
Like a mural?
Among various murals.
I have a scratch like a mural of Egyptian civilization.
You can see it if you look at it.
Good luck, Matsumoto-san.
I think it's acceptable.
Good luck, everyone.
Good luck, everyone. It's not only your responsibility.
I've been messed up this year.
Do you say "every year"?
I think you can see it if you look at it.
This year, I have a scratch.
Don't say "scratch" too much.
I'm sorry.
It's okay. I don't care about it.
I don't even have a scratch.
I'm just messing it up.
Good morning.
Take off your scratch!
I'll lower it a little more.
I took a picture and posted it.
Take it off!
Where do you use it?
I use it like this.
Every year, the members are involved in a laughter quagmire.
High-performance clothing story.
Today, we will show you the pattern of ironing with science professor last year.
Take it off!
You're just an old man with a stomachache.
An old man with a stomachache.
Oh, you were there. You were here.
I picked you up when you were little.
Uran-chan?
What?
Uran-chan?
You picked me up?
What? Are you scared?
What do you want me to do?
Uran-chan!
Wait a minute.
What do you want me to do?
Uran-chan!
Wait a minute!
Uran-chan!
Wait a minute!
But Uran-chan, you can't do that.
You're an old man with a stomachache.
That's right.
What do you want me to do?
Watch out! Watch out! Watch out!
Uran-chan, you can't do that.
Matsumo-to!
Tanaka!
Watch out!
You're an old man with a stomachache.
You can't do that.
Uran-chan!
Uran-chan, wait!
Uran-chan, you can't do that.
That's right, you can't.
What?
Wait!
My arms!
Uran-chan, wait!
What do you want me to do?
My arms are starting to hurt.
My arms hurt.
Uran-chan, wait!
You can say something to Uran, but you can't do it.
Look at this.
He's trying to take it.
No!
Push him!
Welcome, Matsumoto.
Out!
You idiot!
It's me!
Ouch!
Why are you so angry?
I hate you so much!
I'm going to tell my mom.
I hate you so much!
Please listen to me. I won't be angry anymore.
I'm sure you'll be angry.
I won't be angry.
I won't be angry, so please listen to me.
If you're angry, can you tell me?
Can I tell you?
I'll give you candy, so please listen to me.
How many will you give me?
I'll give you three.
I have this much.
I want you to give me ten!
Okay, I'll give you ten.
Don't be angry.
What's wrong with you?
Ouch!
I can't do it anymore!
Uran-chan! You'll get in trouble!
She moves so fast!
Uran-chan, you're amazing!
Uran-chan, what do you want?
I'll really buy it for you, so what do you want?
Do you want to go back to being a real person?
Do you want to go back to being a real girl?
I want Ope-chan!
Ope-chan?
Ope-chan!
Matsumoto! Kosei! Nayando!
Outlaw!
What is Ope-chan?
Uran-chan...
Ope-chan?
What is Ope-chan?
It's when your cheeks are swollen...
...and your eyes are beaded...
...and you're small.
You want something like that?
Because it's cute!
Ope-chan!
If you say it like that, it's good!
That's right!
If you say it like that, it's good!
Ope-chan!
You're strong when it's Atom-chan!
It's because you're old.
You're strong when it's Atom-chan!
Uran-chan...
I'll give it to you.
Ope-chan.
Ope-chan, right?
Wait a minute!
It's not Ope-chan...
It's Chono-san's swollen face.
Chono-san's swollen face? What are you talking about?
It's because Chono-san's swollen face is really funny!
It's funny, right?
Then, I'll do it!
Do it!
What are you doing?
Uran-chan!
What?
Look at this. It's no good. Do you want to see?
Nothing happened.
Nothing happened, right?
Nothing happened!
It's happening!
It's happening, right?!
It's happening! It's happening, but I don't like it!
It can't be helped.
Onii-chan, you were smelly earlier!
Huh?
That's not good.
That's cruel.
Why do you have to say that?!
That's really scary.
Why do you have to say that?!
Onii-chan, it's scary.
What?!
That's...
That's not good.
That's really hurtful.
Of course, even in this episode of American Police...
Kosei's controversial joke is still around!
Yamada, Matsumoto, out!
What will I lose this year?
All of it will be revealed on Thursday night!
This time it's American Police.
Compared to last year, were there any special tricks?
There were things we couldn't always say.
Things we can't always say.
Itao-san did his best before he was disqualified.
It came out right away.
Itao-san did his best, but it came out before he was disqualified.
It's a little different.
How about you, Kosei-san?
There are things we can't always say,
but I thought it was amazing.
After 12 years of doing it,
I was able to see what would happen next.
I thought it was amazing.
I didn't think it was funny at all.
Can I go home now?
You can't go home.
I'm really fine.
If you hadn't told me I couldn't go home,
I wouldn't have gone home.
I really don't want to go home.
I'm sorry.
Aren't you going to lower your head?
It's weird.
It stinks!
I'll do it, too!
Never Laugh At All! American Paris 2014!
New Year's Eve, midnight, 30 minutes broadcast!
Stinks!
If you have any questions, please raise your hand.
I'm Yuu Nagasawa of JIP, and I'm Tanaka's main personality.
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you, too.
Then, can we meet you at the site?
No, no, no.
Tanaka said JIP because he was bad at it.
That's right.
Thank you for welcoming us so warmly.
I have a question for you all.
How do you feel that Sunshine Ikezaki and Akira 100% have become a show of breaking stories?
Also, when you were presented with a story, did you think Sunshine Ikezaki's story would break?
No.
I didn't think Sunshine Ikezaki's story would break.
Takumi Saito did it.
Yes, yes, yes.
But this year, maybe...
Like a newcomer.
Yes, like a newcomer.
Maybe...
I'm looking forward to it. Thank you very much.
Thank you very much.
You can't take it!
Every year, celebrities of various genres appear as blind spots for laughter.
"You Can't Laugh".
What? Really? Who is it?
Call the police!
Today, we will tell you the story of the man who revealed everything from a science professor last year!
Sorry for keeping you waiting! Hurry up and let me go!
Who are you?!
Marugosuken desu.
Marugosuken desu... I'm sorry for bothering you. I forgot about you.
Hey, find someone who can help you.
That's right! Isn't there anyone who can help you?
I had a pistol with me.
That's dangerous!
But what is my subordinate doing?!
Thank you!
What are you doing?!
Ouch!
Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!
What's wrong with you?!
Marugosuken desu. You look like the voice actor, Harada Ryuichi.
How is the game going?
I heard that a robot with eyes was stolen.
I'm sure everyone here is looking forward to it.
Everyone, please cooperate with the investigation.
I...
...am Koemon.
Everyone, out!
He practiced a lot.
Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!
Ouch!
He practiced a lot.
For those of you who couldn't see it, please say it again.
No, it's fine.
I...
...am Koemon.
I...
...am Koemon.
I...
...am Koemon.
I can't see anything.
Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!
My name is Marugoshi Dekan.
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you, too.
My name is Sodan Dekan.
Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!
My name is Marugoshi Dekan.
What are you doing?
You don't have to call me.
Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!
Marugoshi Dekan!
Yeah?
Can you do it?
Yes!
Watch me.
Tanaka, out!
Wait a minute, Marugoshi!
Yes!
Something is falling!
Pick it up!
Silver hair?
There it is, too!
Professor...
Do you know any blond men?
The young professor who quit a few days ago was blond, wasn't he?
Blond?
He's the culprit.
The culprit...
Hmm?
You there!
Can you take your hat off for me?
Oh!
He's the culprit!
Wait!
Culprit!
You're a terrible thief!
You're a bad thief!
You're all bad thieves!
Thieves?
I came here for money.
Even this year's American Police,
from the main actor
to the one and only "that person"!
You are...
...the worst of the worst.
The series' strongest laughing assassins
will invite you to a laughable hell!
Even the American Police can't help but laugh!
Is it true?
We'll do it again this year!
The American Police can't help but laugh at 14 o'clock!
From New Year's Eve to midnight, 30 minutes of broadcast!
It stinks!
Next, we have a question from Kyoshu.
It's for the woman in white knitwear over there.
Go ahead, knitwear.
I'm Kawatoko from Yori Yori News.
Nice to meet you.
Personally, I'd like each of you to tell us what you'd like us to see.
Please do.
It's a little...
It's a little different from blindfolded.
It's a little...
The average age of these five people is 50 years old.
The average age of these five people is 50 years old and they're laughing and having fun.
An old man...
Well, it's not like he's getting fat.
On New Year's Eve.
Well, it's not like he's getting fat.
On New Year's Eve.
I think there are scenes like that.
I think it's fun.
Next, we have the man in white shirt with glasses.
I'm Masuda from TV Gatcha.
Thank you.
Did you quarrel this year too?
What is "quarrel"?
No, we didn't.
I'm sorry.
Please don't.
It's "quarrel", Hamasaki.
I see.
It's "quarrel", Hamasaki.
It is quarrel.
I don't want to get into a little bit of a quarrel.
I have thoughts of wanting others to fight against me.
But it's like a battle of intelligence.
But this time, I feel like there were a lot of parts where Downtown was saying, "Wow!"
That's right.
But this year, there were especially many parts where this S-class talent turned 50 and said, "Should I do this?"
That's right.
Really.
It's almost like we have the same age of Ucchan.
It's almost like that.
Really.
I clearly understand your concerns.
No, it's not a concern.
It's not a concern.
It is a concern!
It's not a concern.
It's something young people do.
It's a concern.
I think it's a concern.
"American Persona" 14th place that you must not laugh at!
From comedy entertainers to super famous actors, even "that person you can't imagine"!
Take your own life and laugh it off!
I can't do it!
"American Police" that you must not laugh at!
Broadcasting on Thursdays at 16:30!
It stinks!
Gakinosukai News!
Downtown's Gakinosukai, Yawara Prefecture's
never-to-laugh-at series
is now live-streaming on video streaming service Hulu!
That grey jacket...
Go away, jacket.
Excuse me, I'm News Every's Ukina.
Every.
Nice to meet you.
Gakinosukai New Year's Special is also our 12th year,
but could you tell me what you're planning for next year?
It's too early for that!
We haven't done it yet!
We're not even hosting it.
This is a press conference!
This is the final episode of the year, I'm telling you!
Until the never-to-laugh-at American Christmas,
only seven days left!
On Thursdays, let's not laugh
and grow old together!
Thank you!
Never-to-laugh-at American Christmas 24 hours
is live-streaming at 16:30 on Thursdays!
Thank you very much!
Seriously?
No!
Never-to-laugh-at American Christmas 24 hours
DVD and Blu-ray are now on sale!