AISubs v3.4
The first "Gaki no Tsukai" episode of "Chiki Chiki"
The 28th "Shindegira" decision!
Kiyoshi Nishikawa Audition!
He really wanted to be a regular on this show.
Why did you say that now?
He said he would never lower his standards.
He said he would never lower his standards from 250.
But I thought it was great.
Kiyoshi Nishikawa, the master of comedy.
Along with Yasushi Yokoyama, he directed "Manzai Boom" and said that he wanted to be a regular on "Gaki no Tsukai".
Therefore, Kiyoshi Nishikawa will hold "Gaki no Tsukai" audition.
Wouldn't it be awkward for you to join these five people?
No, it wouldn't be awkward at all.
Of course, it would be better if you weren't here.
But...
No, I don't like it!
I don't know!
It happens.
Tanaka is still not feeling well.
I'm fine!
What are you saying?
I'm perfectly fine!
You're getting thinner and thinner!
You!
You're getting thinner!
I wonder if I was doing a rise up.
I think I was getting thinner at the same pace.
Are you serious?
I'm not doing it.
I see.
Mental rise up.
Let's call them in.
Please come in!
This way, please.
Please take a seat.
Yes, please.
Can I sit down?
Yes.
You don't seem to be in a good mood.
I met you four years ago.
I felt like I was in the middle of my life and death.
So I'm a little nervous today.
One more time!
I'm surprised.
I'm scared of this kind of thing.
One more time!
Yes!
Please do it regularly!
How should we do it?
Let's hear each member's strengths one by one.
The first thing I want to say is...
Mr. Tanaka's seriousness.
I think he's the most trustworthy person in the industry.
Oh, really?
Yes.
Mr. Hosei!
You often moved to Rago.
I think that's great.
Thank you very much.
It's not easy to live in that area and go all the way to Osaka.
It's great.
Mr. Matsumoto!
You've gotten rounder since you were a kid.
I'm proud of you, but you were really polite.
You greeted me in the morning and in the afternoon.
Thank you for your hard work.
You've become able to do it properly.
I was really surprised.
It's hard to raise a child, isn't it?
I see.
Mr. Hamada!
I had a prostate cancer surgery.
Thank you for sending me an email first.
What kind of email was it?
Good luck with your eye surgery.
Come back soon. I'll be waiting for you at the site.
Is that true?
Yes, it is.
Are you being called "eye surgeon" right away?
Since you were little?
Of course, Mr. Honoda.
I don't usually call you that, you know.
That's right, you don't call me that.
Then, if we decide on this "regular" one, can we call you "eye surgeon" as well?
If we could, we'd like you to stop calling me that.
I have a lot of juniors, so...
I'm sure some of you have heard of me.
So, I called you "eye surgeon" right away.
I worked hard and got better quickly, and when I got back to the set, I called you "lip surgeon" right away.
Excuse me, Mr. Honoda.
No problem.
"Lip surgeon"?
You know, people sometimes call me "lip surgeon" on TV.
I was wondering if you'd allow me to call you "lip surgeon" that much.
Is that okay?
Yes.
That's too much.
Mr. Endo...
I'm sorry, but I can't think of anything to praise you about.
What do you mean you can't think of anything?
I'm not sure where to praise you about.
Oh, you mean you don't have anything to praise me about?
No, that's not it.
It seems like you're good at something.
Good at? Good at?
I don't watch a lot of TV, but I heard you can imitate people.
We're in the field where we can't imitate people the most.
Among them...
There's a little information in there.
You can imitate Bobby Oregon.
What are you talking about?!
It wasn't me!
I didn't do it!
Who said it was me?!
I came all the way from Africa!
It wasn't me!
The end!
Thank you very much.
Does that mean it's not similar?
No, no, no.
It's better if you show us more.
Can I say one more thing?
Sure.
What is it?
The part where Morishin-san rides his bike and starts the engine.
That's a lot.
Excuse me.
The end!
It's not that similar.
Well, well, well.
I'm doing this in front of a mirror, and I end up laughing myself.
Is that so?
It's good, isn't it?
It's good.
I think it's good.
Yes.
Do you have any one-shot jokes?
One-shot jokes?
Do you have any one-shot jokes?
Well, if there is one, it will be very advantageous.
It will be very advantageous.
Well, I'm suddenly told a lot of things today.
Then, at that time...
I won't forgive you!
Everyone laughed for a moment.
I won't forgive you.
Is it okay?
Can I say it one more time?
One more time?
Yes.
I won't forgive you!
You're cute.
You're really cute.
I might be able to use this.
Oh, really?
No, regularly.
No, you've come a long way now.
Oh, really?
I'll do my best!
How is it? Is there anything else you want me to do?
Something like a reaction or something like that.
Something big.
Reaction...
I don't think I've seen a reaction before.
Yes, yes.
I'd like to see it.
Can you prepare it for me?
Yes.
Something like this, right?
Ah!
There is such a thing.
There is.
I wonder if Nishikawa-kun can do it.
Yes.
The contents of the box are...
Ah!
Yes, yes.
It's better to do it than not to do it, right?
Start!
Please be careful.
Yes, you really have to be careful.
No, really, please be careful.
Please be careful.
It's heavy.
That's right.
Oh, I saw it!
Wow!
I saw it!
Wait a minute.
What's the worst thing you can do?
You get caught like this and...
I was surprised!
It's a mess.
That's right.
A mess?
A reaction that scares you a little more...
Yes, that's right.
I was brave enough to do it.
I was determined to become a regular person and did it.
Then, let's do a one-shot gag now.
Yes!
I won't forgive you!
Alright.
This is good.
When you're looking at it, it makes you want to do it and you don't want it to stop.
It makes you nervous for a moment.
That's right!
It hurts.
It makes you nervous...
I have been observing you for a moment now, Masuo.
Yes.
The expression of your face has quite a lot of different patterns.
That's true of him.
Isn't there a part where you want to see your expression?
I want to see it.
Oh, I see!
That one shot gauge is amazing, isn't it?
One shot gauge is amazing, isn't it?
Because of the gauge, it's pretty fast.
That's right.
What is this?
So, if you come forward like this...
Right now, your face is hidden behind the curtain.
At the end of the scene, the curtain will open.
Yes.
And you will show your face.
Let's do it.
Three!
Two!
One!
Do it one more time.
Okay, first one.
End!
Three!
Two!
One!
End!
Three!
Two!
One!
It's the same.
That's right.
It's the same.
It's not changed.
It's the same.
It's the same as before.
Yes.
You don't have to do it like...
That's right.
Three!
Two!
One!
I won't forgive you!
You don't have to do it like that.
End!
Three!
Two!
One!
I can't do it anymore.
You can't do it anymore?
It's not like that.
It's like you're doing a manzai performance and you're making that face.
I think I can do it, sir.
I think I can do it.
Please forgive me.
I can't do it.
You can't say "please forgive me."
I'm sorry. I'll do my best.
Next, I'd like to see number 3.
Number 3?
It has numbers written on it.
Numbers?
Number 3 means "level."
There are numbers from 1 to 5.
I'd like you to choose a number and shout it out loud.
Shout it out loud?
Yes, shout it out loud.
What was your wife's name at first?
Um... Ishikawa.
I'm called Helen.
If you call your wife's name and go home, she'll scold you.
But we can't do anything about it.
It's an audition.
You said it and you did it.
You look scared.
What's wrong?
It's been more than 50 years since we got married.
We've never called each other "Helen" or "Kiyoshi."
Oh, really?
Yes.
But it's an audition.
Please do your best.
If you ask me, I'll do it right away.
Are you ready?
Yes.
Number 4.
Helen!
Number 4.
Number 4 is good.
It's really good.
Okay, let's go.
Helen!
Are you watching?!
It's not "Iraq."
It's "Helen."
Please put it back.
Why did you choose number 4 all of a sudden?
Okay, let's go.
HELEN!
THE END!
What kind of luck do you have?
TANAKA-KUN, do you have anything to say?
Well, I...
I, myself, have experienced it as a kid, but...
I was shot with a pistol during an interview.
That's what happened in the past.
Well, it's actually a prank.
It's a project, so...
Then, I'll do it!
I won't risk it!
I'll take everyone's hands!
I'm glad it's the right one.
My left...heart...
It's the right one.
If it's the left one, it's the heart.
If it's not the left one, it's the heart.
What do you think of this?
No...
I'm glad you chose the right one.
If I had chosen the left one and my heart had stopped beating, I wouldn't have been able to perform like this.
I'm already dead.
But in the end you're dead, right?
Yes.
You've been singing for a while now, so I'd like to see you sing once.
Okay.
He's released a lot of records.
Huh?
Could you sing for us for a bit?
Oh, sure.
Can you sing "road"?
"Road"?
"Road" from "travel".
It's a long song.
Could you sing for us for a bit?
Yes, please.
Excuse me.
Your voice is great.
Could you pass me some water?
Thank you.
I'd like to ask you a little more.
You might have cried.
That's right.
You might have cried while singing.
I...
I can't sing "kandawa".
If you sing it, you'll cry.
I'd like to see you sing more closely.
Just up to here.
Please, Mr. Kanda.
Thank you.
Anata wa mou wasureta kashira?
Akai tenugui mafura ni shite
Futari de itta yokocho no moro e
Isshoni deorete itta noni
Itsumo watashi ga matasareta
Arai gami ga shinmadehiete
Wakakatta ano koro, nanimo kowakunakatta.
Tada, anata no yasashisa ga kowakatta.
Ijou desu.
It really makes you cry, doesn't it?
No, it always makes me cry.
It's not like you five teachers are embarrassed or have negative thoughts.
You always remember your roots and don't forget the past.
It's not something you can do on your own.
I don't think you can do it on your own.
It's not something you can do on your own.
It makes you lie to yourself.
It really makes you lie to yourself?
It's not like you five teachers are embarrassed or have negative thoughts.
At 10 p.m. on the 17th, "Gakkinosukai 90 minutes special broadcast"!
We will challenge the "pick up the phone" project with our guest!
If you say "only" it means it's the ending.
"Only" you missed it!
Jiro, can you say "onee" or something like that?
I haven't done it before.
I think you're good at it.
"One-shot gag" is "onee" language.
Tadaka-kun.
Can you two say "onee" and have a fight?
Tadaka-san and me?
It's our first time doing it together.
Excuse me.
Start!
What are you staring at?
I'm not staring.
You've been staring for a while now.
No, that's...
Don't you think you're misunderstanding?
What have you been staring at for a while now?
It's disgusting!
I said I wasn't staring!
What's with that attitude of yours?
Ask everyone in this shop.
There's no point in asking!
Why?
You've been staring at me all along!
It's not just because you have big eyes that you feel that way!
Don't talk to me like that! It stinks!
You talk too much!
It stinks!
What kind of smell is it?
It stinks!
What kind of smell is it?
It smells like tofu!
Tofu?!
You talk too much.
It smells like skunk.
You're really stupid.
What's that? Skunk?
What's that?
It's moving.
It's ugly, isn't it?
What is it?
Let's go inside.
What is it?
Let's go inside.
Do you know what it is?
Most of them...
Go over there!
You talk too much...
What's with you guys?
We can't sleep here!
Where did you sleep?
Right there! Right next to me!
What's with you guys?
You're so noisy!
It's okay, it's okay.
Chaos is happening right now.
You're so noisy!
Especially you!
You're so noisy!
It's not just noisy...
What are you looking at?
I said I saw it!
I said I didn't see it!
What are you looking at? I'm asking you!
Why do you keep looking at me?
It smells like tofu!
Wait, wait, wait!
Wait a minute!
What are you doing?
You can't sleep at all!
You too?!
Is it only people who can't sleep here?
You can't sleep at all!
Go home and sleep!
No, no, no!
Jiro's looking at you, and you're saying it's gross!
Stop it!
I'm not looking at you!
You were looking at me!
Look at me!
Why do you keep looking at Jiro?
Let's go apply!
Apologize!
Let's go apply!
It's your fault!
It's not my fault!
I said apologize!
HEY! YOU'VE BEEN MAKING ME ANGRY FOR A WHILE NOW!
WHAT IS IT?!
I HAVEN'T SLEPT AT ALL FOR THREE DAYS!
YOU'RE SO ANNOYING!
What are you saying?!
I HAVEN'T SLEPT AT ALL FOR THREE DAYS BECAUSE OF YOU GUYS!
We don't care. These two are apologizing.
We're not apologizing!
I haven't slept since Tuesday at eight o'clock!
What day is it now?!
It's only been three hours since I woke up!
What's wrong with you?!
What are you saying?!
Are you causing trouble for everyone?!
STOP IT!
THE END!
This is the worst.
Thank you very much.
I want to see this.
This is what you want to see.
Improvised paper play.
What?!
Improvised paper play.
If you can do this, I think you'll get a lot of points.
Paper play?!
We've already prepared the paper play.
Let's look at the picture and improvise.
We haven't written anything yet.
"Helen's Return".
It's starting! It's starting!
"Helen's Return".
Oh, I shouldn't say this myself, right?
One day, a young boy climbed a mountain.
"Young boy"?
Then...
He happened to run into a crane.
I thought it was a crane!
That was fast.
Aren't you a beautiful blonde woman?!
Thank you for saving me.
What happened to you?!
Actually, I got lost and ran into you by chance.
Thank you so much for saving me!
What does your name mean?
No, no, no...
I can't answer that naturally.
No, I mean, what does your name mean?
Shouldn't I have peeked?
Next one!
When I woke up in the morning and opened my head, I saw that Helen was weaving.
She was weaving your cardigan.
This is a cat.
It wasn't a cat cardigan that she was weaving for you.
That's all.
Time's up!
How was it?
I don't know what it means.
But it's not a movie.
Is it this question?
Since it's an audition, you had to make it if you didn't make it yourself, right?
Yes.
But really...
It's beyond my expectations.
But...
If you didn't make it, I'll tell you about it later.
Later?
Yes.
By the way, what did you like the most?
Everything.
It's my first experience since I was born.
The most difficult one was the god play.
Good morning.
It was fun.
Thank you, everyone.
- Thank you. - Good morning.
- It was fun.
Thank you, everyone.
- Here's the result. - Oh, it's a message.
Thank you.
Will it be a movie or a god play?
Non-consensus!
Can you tell me why?
I haven't told you the reason yet.
Is that so? I see.
I'll tell the company and check everyone's schedules.
I see.
Is it okay for me to talk a little more?
No, it's okay.
I'm sorry.
The director is already drunk.