AISubs v3.4
Ladies and Gentlemen!
You don't look good at all!
What do you mean?
You're a comedian!
I'm a comedian! What do you mean?
What are you talking about?
It's like...
Like what?
It's the same number!
No, no, no!
This is how it's supposed to be!
I know, but...
Do you know how long we've been doing this show?
It's been about...
About 8 years.
Oh, really?
Yes.
Is this show your 30th?
It's my 28th.
Oh, your 28th!
Oh, I see.
You've been doing this show for 28 years?
You're crazy!
Director, I don't think you're stupid at all.
You're really...
What's with you all of a sudden?
Mr. Nittere is here, so I have something to say.
Mr. Nittere?
Yes.
Is there something you want to say to Mr. Nittere?
You know, that side of Nittere.
That...
Shiodome.
It's Shiodome.
I don't know anything about it.
Well...
If it's famous, it's famous.
But not all of them want to go.
Shiodome.
So, you know...
It's on a weird floor, right?
Yes.
Talent croak.
That's right.
It's on the tenth floor.
Eleventh floor.
So it's supposed to be lower.
It's supposed to be lower.
That's right, that's right.
In the middle of it, like a staff member...
I don't know which department they're from...
They come up and say "I'm not there!" once in a while!
Once in a while.
Who the hell are you?!
That is...
Director...
That is...
At the end of it, it's only for talent...
Croak and studio are the only places you can stay.
That's what they do, right?
If you manipulate it, you can move on.
Can't you do anything about it?
You can't, can you?!
I don't know if I should treat a talent like that...
As expected of a staff's own talent...
I think like that every year.
I know we say "don't laugh, we're in trouble" but...
I'm really not a technician or anything like that...
You put that CCD where it falls...
I know!
Don't think about it, you'll end up like that with tears...
I've told you about the generator before!
Of course I think it's late...
But you have to put up with it!
Saying things like that...
If you say that, won't the TBS company go bankrupt?!
The driver says it's getting better every week!
But today, the TBS company is closed!
So I'm like...
But there's a lot of paper!
There's a lot of it on TV!
Let's do it in real-time...
Who are you?
I'm Dandan Matsumoto.
That's too good, too good.
Seriously, seriously.
That's too good.
Seriously, seriously, seriously.
Seriously, what are you doing?
I don't know.
What do you want me to ask you?
There's a lot of things I want to ask you.
There's a lot of things I want you to ask me.
I just remembered.
A little while ago.
This has nothing to do with music.
It's like a family restaurant.
I said it was a family restaurant for a while.
I did this.
Like this.
You know, like this.
For a while.
Do you know how many people are there?
You don't like me saying that, do you?
So I went in and did this.
And then...
The waiter...
The waiter said...
How many people are there?
You know...
I think I made peace with you for the first time.
That's what I'm talking about.
How sociable you are!
That's what I'm talking about.
Ah!
Matsumoto!
Matsumoto is here!
Matsumoto made peace with me.
That can't be true!
If you say it too loudly, it'll be scary.
That can't be true!
You said it, didn't you?
Hey!
Hey, what's up with you?
And then I went to the convenience store and asked...
How much are chopsticks?
And I said...
That's enough.
And I did this.
Look, I can put five in.
No, no, no, no, no!
I only bought two cups of ramen!
It's free!
Think about it!
It's free!
Think about it!
Thirty-five minus seventeen...
Look, it's really funny.
OK. OK, OK.
No, for that matter, it's OK.
What's with you?
No, well, it's a little...
Well, well, well...
Well, it's a little... Well, well, well...
Well, well, well...
All of a sudden, it's like...
Oh, you're going to say it.
Thirty-five minus seventeen...
I was stabbed.
Well, I had to write it down and put it out like this.
Yes, yes, yes...
Well, well, it's true that you can figure it out a little faster.
But, I can't stand it anymore!
I panicked.
Thirty-five minus seventeen...
All of a sudden, you say it and I can't stand it anymore!
No, no, no...
This is, you know, three digits, right?
Yes, yes, yes...
Three digits of "un"...
Yes, yes, yes...
Three digits of "kagezan" and "warizan" became...
That's quite a lot.
Well, you know...
I don't even want to fight anymore.
Yes, yes, yes...
My opponent is too big.
I know.
I don't even want to win anymore.
I'm going to go...
It's like an anti-socialist force.
You know...
Right?
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know...
I'm scared, I'm scared, I'm scared...
Yes, yes, yes...
It becomes like that.
It's about two digits...
At least it's two digits of "kagezan"...
I think it's like...
A little like...
And when I pulled out my gun...
It was like I won the butterfly nearly.
It's an exaggeration.
I know it's an exaggeration.
It's gay.
Well, but...
But I already lost.
I already lost.
Ten...
Eighteen...
That's what I mean.
Yes, yes, yes, I understand.
But it isn't so quick.
No, it's like...
What am I?
Is it age or something else?
I don't know. But you will have it for a long time in the future.
If you are still a child. You will probably say it all the time.
However, I think 35 to 17 is the most difficult number in the world.
I think it's the most difficult double digit subtraction. It's more difficult than this.
When I told my daughter about it, she said there was no answer.
There's no way.
There's no such thing.
There's no such thing. If you say it properly...
No, but... If you say, "Wait a minute," is it okay?
No, no, it's not difficult than this.
When I was told 48 to 7, I was like, "Huh? What's that?"
Right? Right?
When I was told 50 to 19, I was a little scared.
I know, I know.
You're really going to make me buy it, aren't you?
I know, I know, I know, I know.
35 to 17, I was really scared.
I don't like this anymore.
I told you before, right? There are many kinds of martial arts, like karate and boxing.
I told you I'm a pitcher, right?
What do you mean by "throwing"?
That's right!
There were gorillas, you know.
When you fought against gorillas, you learned judo, you know.
You learned sumo, you know.
Karate, you know.
Karate and kickboxing have no meaning, you know.
Gorillas...
Gorillas and gorillas at this distance...
It's not over.
But pitchers, you know, from dozens of meters away...
If you hit that hard, hard thing against a gorilla...
The gorilla will definitely die.
It won't!
If it goes "bang"!
It will definitely die.
So in that sense, I think there is no doubt that pitchers are the strongest.
I... I don't know...
You should do it!
Right?!
It's only about 2 meters away.
If a gorilla is 2 meters away...
You shouldn't do it, you know.
But pitchers can aim here from dozens of meters away.
At worst, even if you go a little lower, if you go in here...
It's better than drinking.
Gorilla.
I won't drink it.
Gorilla, it's better than drinking and going "bang"!
No, I won't drink it.
It's better than going "bang"!
You're persistent.
You're persistent, aren't you?
I'm done with it.
If you hit it, you hit it.
I won't do it.
I'm done with it.
What's wrong with you today?
That's right, but...
I think you're the strongest.
What are you talking about?
If a gorilla was there, his hands would shake.
That's not fair.
Do you hit it?
You hit it, right?
Who's the strongest pitcher now?
Ohtani Shogo.
Ohtani Shogo?
I'm sure you can do it.
You're scaring me.
You can throw it about 160kg, right?
No, but...
Gorilla doesn't think like that.
No, no.
First of all, think about Ohtani's feelings.
Gorilla is like this, but when Ohtani sees it, he will be surprised.
That's really...
He has a strong heart.
He is one of the most popular gorillas.
Most popular?
He is like this.
No, no.
Gorilla was like this, but now everyone is like this.
Gorilla thinks like this.
When Gorilla is coming, Gorilla will be like this.
Gorilla will be like this.
Gorilla thinks like this, but now everyone is like this.
Gorilla can't do it.
No, no.
The story is interesting.
The story is not interesting.
You know, there are movies like "timeslip" and "the doctor is a timeslip", "the old self defense force" and so on.
If a pitcher is a timeslip, I think it will change history.
It's amazing. It's amazing for a pitcher.
You know, when Tokugawa Ieyasu is in the gym,
all of a sudden, Ohtani Shouhei is there and he is a timeslip.
First of all, I don't know what it is.
I don't know what he is wearing.
I know.
What? He is writing something.
"fighters".
"fighters"?
I don't know "fighters".
I don't know what to do with people around me.
Suddenly, they appear.
That's how it is.
What do you do?
I think...
Wait, wait, wait...
I'll stop you.
What's that?
I think.
When I heard it...
What's that?
Do you want a drink?
I'm home.
Did you drink something?
No, no, no.
I'm scared, scared, scared.
No, no, no.
Lose, lose, lose, lose.
I'm not gonna lose!
At the stage of cancer, I'm being killed by a pig!
Why?
Old men's bags, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
If I did that...
No, it's visible!
It's visible!
It's only here, right?
Old men's bags...
Scared, scared, scared, scared, scared, scared!
It's like that!
I think the picture is amazing.
Really.
Is it?
Yeah.
Earth maiden!
If you get thrown, you'll die.
I won't die!
It might hurt.
Earth maiden!
If you get thrown...
I'll be mad, you know!
No, no, no...
I'll say 'it hurts!'
No...
I don't like girls...
No...
No, I don't like girls much.
I'm sorry...
But I'm glad you're fine.
By the way, your body is getting bigger and bigger, but are you doing a proper test?
My body is not getting bigger and bigger.
Then get on it!
Thank you very much.
Did you say "dog" or something like that?
Huh?
You didn't say it, did you?
"Dog"?
No, I didn't say it.
Why didn't you say it?
Well, you know...
You're too old-fashioned. Check it properly!
Even if I say it, it's just a result theory.
What is he talking about?
For example, we have one week until the test results come out.
It's only a result theory that says "it was okay until a week ago."
The day after the test results come out, if it's Tuesday, it's dangerous even if it's Wednesday.
Even if it's Wednesday, the fight against the disease has already begun.
That's...
You're stupid!
No, it's not like that!
There's an early discovery!
If it's like that, you have to do it every week!
No, I can't do it every week.
Do it once every month...
No, do it once a year!
No, it doesn't make sense.
What are you doing?
"What are you doing?" Where does a human "dog" go once a year?
Where does it go?
Everything! From head to toe.
Huh?
It takes a day.
Oh, but it ends in about half a day.
I definitely don't want to do it.
Huh?
I definitely don't want to do it.
You should do it! Huh?
Oh, you can't join MRI.
That's right, I can't join MRI.
That's because of this show.
This show has filled me with life.
I really...
I really can't do it.
It's a clear reason.
I'm sorry!
What do you mean?
I mean, you know...
Like this rubber band?
Rubber band, you know...
Like in amusement parks...
Like a swimming pool?
That's too dark and no good.
If it's a dot, you can't reach it.
A dot?
Like where you can see it?
Like where you can see it, or your breathing...
You need to secure your breathing.
I can't breathe at all with this.
No, no, it's really no good.
You can't close your eyes?
There are places where you can listen to music.
Oh, really?
Yeah, yeah.
I didn't know about that.
It's even worse.
You know, you can't hear anything.
When I went there, it was buzzing all the time.
It was buzzing all the time.
I was thinking, "What would Kuwata-san think of this?"
If Kuwata-san got scared and let me listen to his song, I'd hate it.
I'd think there's no way for Kuwata-san to escape.
I didn't know about that.
You should have gone!
No, I won't go. I've decided not to go.
Then you should get a blood test.
You can tell anything with a blood test these days.
But you can't tell if it's a no.
And you can't tell if it's a cut or a CT.
People who say they can't tell if it's a no have been hitting me in the head for 30 years.
You didn't tell me.
For example, you teach your daughter not to hit people.
But you always get beaten up, don't you?
My wife says, "No, it's your job. Mr. Hamada is not bad."
My daughter says, "No, it's your job. Mr. Hamada is not bad."
I don't think there are people who have been beaten up for 30 years.
I don't think we can get that kind of data.
Maybe it can be used as research material.
What will happen to human brains?
Human brains get beaten up every time.
Even when the camera isn't rolling.
Don't lie.
Even when we can't use it, we get beaten up.
For example, we don't use "dun dun deluxe".
When we first started, we were like, "Guests, please come in."
Originally, we speak a little before we come in.
But we know we can't use it here.
Even at that time, we get beaten up a lot.
Even at the beginning of the opening, my hair looks like it's messed up.
That's weird.
It's not messed up hair.
I don't know. It's messed up.
The other day, you were doing like this with a skewer.
It's messed up.
It's weird.
There is a black one below.
Which one?
There is a black one below.
Ouch, ouch, ouch!
It's messed up.
Fifty-some old men are beaten by fifty-some old men.
And everyone is laughing.
What will happen in this country?
It's funny.
It's not funny.
Fifty-nine minus seventeen.
Fifty-seven.
It's terrible.
It's scary, scary, scary, scary, scary, scary.
It's scary, isn't it?
It was terrible to play rock-paper-scissors afterwards.
Let's do it!
Let's do it! Let's do it!
Who will lose?
Who will lose afterwards?
Me, right?
Yes.
You will go first, right?
Yes, yes.
You know, I can really do it.
It's not funny at all.
I can't make a joke like you.
I'm going to do it.
I should lose, right?
It's too early.
Rock-paper-scissors.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I
'm sorry. You too...
I love you. Both of you are world class.
Good luck to you both!
I'm sorry.
[Laughter]