AISubs v3.4
Ladies and gentlemen...
It's been tough this year as well, hasn't it?
Yes, it has.
It has.
It was a week ago, wasn't it?
It was a week ago.
I feel like I'm going to break my health.
I hope it ended safely.
But you're the youngest, right?
Yes, I am.
We're 43 years old.
Yes, we are.
You're 43 and you're the youngest.
But the next day, your butt hurts a little...
It hurts.
And your body is weak...
But I always say that...
The one who has the most butt pain is Tanaka.
I have the image that Tanaka really has a butt pain.
But it hurts.
It hurts.
It hurts, but Tanaka especially has a butt pain.
I think it's because of the thigh kick.
Yes, it's the thigh kick.
In the beginning of the year, he gets a thigh kick every year.
It's been pulling him for a long time.
You should have told Sark not to do it.
Did I say it?
Can you say it?
Did you say it?
Why are you quiet?
Did you say it?
Didn't you say it?
If you say it...
I didn't say it.
You said it, but you didn't do it.
Why do you keep doing it?
Did you say it?
You said you wouldn't do it.
Then I will do it.
You didn't say it.
You didn't say it, right?
I think you know.
You said you wouldn't do it.
I was pulled because of him.
You didn't see it, right?
You can't say my name.
And you called me out.
Yes.
You were very nice to me.
I was pulled because of you.
You didn't do it.
I regret it.
I was punished with a Thai kick.
I was the first one to wear a Thai kick in a variety show, other than a Thai boxer.
I was the first one.
At that time, I said it louder and said it was dangerous.
I said you shouldn't do it.
I accepted it.
Even so, as a penalty game, a thigh kick is left as usual.
It's an axis.
It's supposed to be done on the ring.
It's supposed to be done to defeat the opponent.
It's supposed to be done between pros.
It's not something pros do often.
That's right.
It's your responsibility.
It's tough.
It's really tough for young people.
But we don't need young people's strength.
We don't need young people's strength like slippers and things like that.
That's right.
I want people in their 40s to do it.
Old people in their 40s are chasing us.
We don't need young people's strength.
Speaking of which, that person came as a guest in that segment.
He's a great writer.
He's amazing, too.
You really don't want to be caught, do you?
You really don't?
You really don't want to be caught, do you?
If you don't catch me, I won't be caught.
And we get caught.
That's that person.
Is that fine?
That person, I'll make it clear, hurts.
It hurts.
That pain is unbearable.
That's right.
We can't do anything about it.
It was amazing, wasn't it?
It was amazing.
It was amazing, wasn't it?
Nine years, right?
Nine years.
It's been nine years since I started playing soccer.
How do you do it?
It's similar.
You're crazy.
Speaking of which,
I have to laugh about it.
There was a second division match between Yamazaki and Moriman.
Yes, there was.
It was amazing.
Yamazaki's mobility was amazing.
I thought he didn't need young people's strength.
I'll tell you why.
He did simulations for me.
You need to do it.
Make sure you don't get hurt.
You shouldn't get injured.
But the simulation is done by young people.
They are in their 20s or more.
They are over 40 years old.
They are young, but they do their best.
I know, but...
I think only the Vitton Investigation Team does such a simulation.
You're older than me.
Dancers.
Ritton is better than me.
Let Ritton do it.
Let Ritton do the simulation.
Dancers can do it.
This is not a simulation.
That's right.
It's hard.
I think you noticed it today.
There is something different.
What is it?
This is the subject of a TV program.
Really?
Are you angry?
No.
I'm not angry.
What brought you here?
It's a show called "The Greatest Shows on Earth" in the U.S.
It's the most famous variety show in Japan.
So, I was chosen as a reporter for this show.
"The Greatest Shows on Earth" will be broadcast in the U.S. next year.
We introduce shows from all over the world and tell you about their culture and charm.
The first one is "Gaki no Tsukai" representing Japan.
Wow!
Isn't it great?
We did it!
It's amazing.
Yes.
I should have been the focus.
Of course.
Why are we doing this show?
Shall we ask?
Excuse me. Please come in.
Let me introduce you.
This is the MC of "Greatest Shows on Earth", Carla Caballi.
Carla-san, welcome.
Nice to meet you.
Is this for real?
It's like a prank.
I'm serious.
Hello.
Carla-san, have you seen this show before?
I've seen it before.
My brother likes this show.
He likes this show.
This is the first time he watched a show like this on YouTube.
What did you watch?
What did you think was interesting?
"Omata ni monmari".
Does "omata ni monmari" mean "pervert"?
"Omata ni monmari".
It's been a while since I watched it.
What else did you watch?
I watched "tkj".
She watched it a lot.
I watched "silent library".
It's an old book.
It's quite old.
It's famous all over the world.
It's not profitable at all.
It's famous all over the world.
It's famous in many countries.
Is that so?
That's amazing.
We would like to interview you.
Why is this kind of comedy popular in Japan?
We would like to know why this kind of comedy is not popular in Japan.
Is there a guy who is more popular than you in Japan?
I can't choose who is the most popular in Japan.
We would like to see Hosei's gag from "the new year's eve show".
Yes, yes, yes.
I would like to watch the gag you did on New Year's show.
New Year's show gag?
It's probably "Gag Child".
Really?
Yes!
It's coming soon.
It's coming soon, right?
Yes, yes, yes.
Before breakfast.
Oh, is it okay for me to have this chance?
I'm going to spread it out.
It's a request from Heaven.
I don't know which one is okay.
What kind of gag?
What?
Japanese...
Paripashina?
New Year's?
Yes!
It's New Year's!
Oh, it's that one!
It's that one!
It's not yours, but...
Hey, you guys!
Stand up!
You guys stand up first!
Stand up?
Stand up and say "Yes, yes, yes, yes".
First of all, I'm going to do the gag you did on New Year's show.
Is it okay for me to do the gag you did on New Year's show?
Can I face this way?
Yes.
Okay!
Can I open it and say it?
Yes, you can say it.
This is a great opportunity, isn't it?
It's a great opportunity, isn't it?
I'm going to laugh a lot.
Let's do it.
I'm going to laugh a lot.
I think I know what you're going to say.
I'm going to laugh a lot.
When I went to Las Vegas, Jinnai, I was so jealous.
I see.
You're going to laugh a lot while saying that.
I'm going to laugh a lot.
Can you do it a little more?
I'll do my best!
You should do it more.
Can I do it?
Can you do it?
Yes!
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
You are laughing a lot!
I'm laughing!
You are laughing!
Face the camera of America!
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
You are laughing a lot!
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Thank you! Thank you!
How was it?
It was as funny in person as it was on YouTube. I knew it. Thank you! That was awesome!
It was as funny in person as it was on YouTube.
I can say it, but anyone can do it!
Anyone can do it!
My man! I can't do it!
But he makes it funny!
It's funny because it's him!
Thank you! Thank you!
Thank you!
Carls, you have something you want to see, don't you?
One more thing you want to see, right?
What is it?
Show us!
Let us do it!
You want to do it?
You want to do it, right?
I want to do it, yeah.
Can I play with Endo?
Because if I'm going to get my ass kicked, I want to get it kicked by the champion.
I'm really bad.
Can you teach me how to do it?
Yeah.
Can you do it?
Janken!
Do you know how to do it?
Can you teach me how to do it?
Do you know how to do it?
You teach me how to do it!
I can't teach you.
Do you understand?
There is also timing.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9.
Yes.
And then you put the helmet on.
Okay.
Yes, but slow.
Let's do it slow.
But you can sing it, right?
Yeah, I kinda get it. I don't know if I'm gonna be good at it.
They are telling you to sing it, but you can't sing it, right?
Oh, sing it?
Okay, kabute, jankenpon.
Kataieta, hachaba, daba.
Stop it.
Kataieta, habachaba.
That's not habachaba.
That's already the end.
Let's go with Lee.
But habachaba, I don't know what to do.
Habachaba is okay.
Tataite, kabute, wabamo.
Tataite, kabute, zandapa.
Let's do it.
If I win, I'm really going to do it.
Is it okay?
Don't break my nose.
They're telling you not to break my nose.
Please don't break my nose.
But if I go like this...
That's fine.
This is my money maker. Don't ruin the money maker.
I'm scared. I'm getting nervous.
Please, please.
Are you really going to do it?
At the end of a situation like this, it actually hurts more than ***.
You said his name.
Does? Yeah, yeah, just be careful.
An American show has come to "Gaki no Tsukai"!
Tataite, kabute, zandapa.
Japanese and American competition!
Let's do it.
Okay?
Okay!
Let's do it.
One, two...
Tataite, kabute, zandapa.
Oh, no!
One more.
One, two...
Tataite, kabute, zandapa.
One, two...
Tataite, kabute, zandapa.
Let's play rock-paper-scissors.
Tataite, kabute, zandapa.
Let's play rock-paper-scissors.
Tataite, kabute, zandapa.
I won!
This is Kyoto's tea!
You look like you're having fun!
That's not all. There are more things we'd like to see.
Ch***o Machine!
You just said it for the first time!
Ch***o Machine!
It's true, "machine" is perfect!
Today, we'd like our producer to get on the Ch***o Machine.
Oh, it's the producer!
Who? The producer?
Yes, Robin!
Here she comes, Robin!
But, that's impossible!
Robin is really big!
But it's brand-new!
Robin, do you know about the existence of this Ch***o Machine?
- Do you know this machine? - Yes.
- You know it? - YouTube.
- YouTube.
- This is amazing. - Amazing. Are you okay?
- It's 3, 2, 1, go. - Don't fret. So it's gonna be 3, 2, 1, go, okay?
- Okay. - Let's go.
- Be happy. Be more happy. - Okay.
- I'm scared. - I'm scared.
- 3, 2, 1, go! - 3, 2, 1, go!
It will definitely hurt.
It will definitely hurt, Robbie.
Robbie, hang in there.
It's amazing.
That's all for today.
From the American TV show "The Greatest Shows on Ice",
it's been Kara-san! Thank you very much!
You're welcome.
This is for real, Roger.
It's for real.
It will be broadcasted over there.
Shouldn't we take away the rights of little machines?
It will be hidden.
Right?
If we could get a little machine from Japan and make it ourselves...
No, no, no.
And make it at a factory.
Little machines?
It's as famous overseas as karaoke.
Little machines? Karaoke? Little machines?
At an amusement park or something like that.
It's been another month this year, but what did you think of it, everyone?
For me, it's that "don't laugh" thing.
I was trying to avoid it in advance, but I ended up doing it again.
It's that "don't laugh" thing.
I really had to be careful about it about a month ago.
I'm sorry, but can you tell me about "wakibara" again?
Why did you hurt yourself?
Everyone doesn't know, even if you say "wakibara" hurts.
Why did you hurt yourself?
I'll say it, but if it was you, you'd definitely be resting.
You'd be fighting that kind of pain and pretending like you're fine.
First of all, can you tell me why you hurt yourself?
Because I was carrying an iron bar.
You're carrying an iron bar for the first time.
For people watching TV.
I've said it before, but it's an iron bar.
What did you do with the bar?
I was climbing up a hill in the park and did it.
You were climbing up a hill in the park and did it?
When you're climbing up a hill in the park, you have to tighten your armpits.
I knew that.
Once I did it, I said it was a good thing.
I was told to do it again.
When I did it again, I was a little too tired of the bar.
I climbed up like I was covering it from above and hit it like I was hitting it from above.
I stopped and said it was a good thing.
It's a good thing, right?
It's a good thing, but it's completely fractured.
No, it's not.
It's not fractured.
You've never done it, have you?
You haven't been to a doctor, have you?
I haven't been to a doctor.
Then you don't know it's fractured, do you?
I've done it many times and I'm a famous doctor.
I know what you're talking about.
No, you haven't.
You've never done it, have you?
You're talking really loud.
You can't even sneeze or cough, can you?
I can't.
You're saying it, right?
No, I'm not.
But you're saying it's a terrible fracture, right?
No, it's completely fractured.
It's like, "bang!"
It's fractured.
You've never been to a doctor, have you?
It's not fractured.
You've never been to a doctor, have you?
If it's fractured, it'll stab you in the gut, so it's definitely not fractured.
That's right.
It's just a little cracked.
It's not cracked.
It's really like, "bang!"
It's like there's flesh in there and it's sticking out.
It's stuck and it hurts like that.
What are you talking about?
The flesh is stuck between the bones, but the doctor didn't say it, so I don't know.
You don't know, do you?
But when I hit it, there was flesh in it.
Can you see it with the naked eye?
That's a self-diagnosis, isn't it?
You can see it from the outside, it's amazing.
It was really tough, but I was talking about whether I should rest or not, but I had to do it before I rested.
It was really tough, but I did my best.
It's a lump of service spirit.
You didn't say "it hurts" at all, did you?
That's service spirit.
Yama-chan said "it hurts", but you didn't say "sometimes", did you?
No, it's service spirit.
It didn't hurt, did it?
No, service spirit is stopping me.
Service spirit?
Yes, service spirit.
To whom?
What?
Excuse me.
Service spirit!
I'm talking to people who don't even know what service spirit is.
I know what service spirit is.
I know, but...
Service spirit at work?
Well, if it hurts, if it hurts me, everyone will worry about me, so I thought I shouldn't make you worry about me, so I endured it all the time.
So what did you think of Yama-chan's "it hurts, it hurts, it hurts" speech?
This guy really can't be helped.
I've said it a lot.
Forty years old, forty years old.
You're fifty years old.
Why are you measuring a ten-year-old young man there?
I'll never admit it.
In which world is forty years old different from forty- seven years old?
I'll never admit it.
You're fifty years old.
You're fifty years old, aren't you?
I'm telling you you're forty years old.
You're forty-seven years old.
You're forty-seven years old, aren't you, Mr. Ohno?
And you know, uh...
G-LO has been coming out a lot lately, too.
So it's a double...
It was a double tragedy for me.
You said your back hurt, too.
Oh, my back hurt, too. It was a triple.
It was really tough.
I know I shouldn't laugh, but the toughest thing in a year's show is...
Of course it is.
The closer you get, the more you get involved in strange things like that in the world.
Yeah...
What's up with you, Endo? You're making me mad.
Me?!
Why me?!
You're the one who didn't say anything.
You're the one who was most upset.
I've been mad since my debut.
Why did you say that in front of me?!
Why?!
The Second Edition of DVD and Blu-ray
The Earth Defense Division is In Needless to Laugh!
December 3rd! On sale!