AISubs v3.4
The recording of "Gaki no Tsukai" is coming to an end.
As we wait for the show to start,
that middle-aged man suddenly shows up in the downtown area.
Good morning!
Why don't you do it for us?
What?
Matsumoto-san, do it for us!
You're right.
You've been doing it for six years.
What's up with you?
What's up?
I want you to do it for us.
What do you want me to do for you?
I don't know what you're doing, but you're reading a script.
It's a matchmaking.
Have you ever done it before?
I've done it before, but I'm not married yet.
So this year...
How old is Ebo?
Fifty.
Fifty years old.
When did you do it last year?
Last year?
You were doing a musical, right?
I don't think you should do a musical.
Why not?
Besides, you're four centimeters shorter than last year.
You're getting smaller!
But it's okay.
I've discovered a new method.
As you know, young people are laughing a lot right now.
That was a while ago.
That's true.
Young people who laugh a lot are popular, too.
So I'm going to do a young man's joke...
and the girl will laugh at me and say I'm popular.
Then my matchmaking will be a huge success.
Are you confident?
Yes, I am.
You're doing a joke!
It's a joke.
Jokes used to be illegal in the past.
Let me think about it.
There's nothing wrong with my script.
Jokes used to be illegal in the past.
But it wasn't written in the script.
Jokes used to be illegal in the past.
A lonely single man who has failed numerous matchmaking projects and has been exposed to countless failures.
This time, he's going to show a joke about a popular young comedian and aim for his dream of marriage!
- What is this? - It's a guitar! A huge one!
- I'll do it, but... - What? - I'll do it, but...
- It's fine. - I don't like being played like this.
- That's right. I've also prepared a girl who's in a hurry.
- Then, please stand up. - A girl... - Please come up, girl!
- She's a girl, isn't she? She's cute! - Hello.
- Please come forward. - She's definitely a hip - hop artist!
- Don't do it! Don't do it! - What made you come this far?
- I've been watching you on a show for a while now and I thought you were nice. - What did you like about me?
- The musical you were in last time. - I know it! I know it!
- If you could get a VHS from me... - If you could date me and if you could marry me, I'd like to have sex with you. - Oh, that's nice of you.
- Well, I'd like you to have sex with me. - Your panties are really dirty. - Your front and back are really dirty.
- Your panties are clean, it's just this part. - It's not just this part! - It's a typhoon!
- Now, let's have our match, Hepo, come on up! - Hepo-san, please come up!
- Ladies and gentlemen, we will present the show "Hepo York"! - Hepo York. - Hepo York, yes.
- Wow, wow, wow! - Wow, wow! - That's really small! - The guitar is really big, isn't it? - It's a standard guitar, right? - It's a standard guitar, right? - No, it's not!
My name is Guitar Zamurai Hepoyoke.
Today, I came to the studio of the band.
I'm going to play a song of the band.
My name is Matsumatsu Matsumatsu Matsumoto Hitoshi.
I want to be called "genius" in the comedy world.
I'm not saying that.
But you may be able to laugh.
But you can't marry me.
It's a shame.
It's not "morning" Sakata. It's "rain" Sakata.
I know. I'm getting old.
My name is Endo Enen Enen Endo Shouzou.
I'm good-looking, I'm doing my job, and I'm a band member.
Isn't it good?
You didn't know this before, did you?
But you're just a doormat that's been given to the queen by the royal family!
Disgusting!
What was that?!
I don't know.
What a shame!
We're in trouble!
We're at a dead end!
I'm actually drinking Viagra.
Pervert!
Well...
How is it?
Well...
It's good.
I'm sorry, but...
Yes?
Judge!
Please!
That was fast!
What was it like?
At the end...
At the end, he said "payagra" and then "kimo"...
"Kimoi", "kimoi", right?
It wasn't "kimoi" at the end, it was "kimoi" when he came out!
Let's call Heipo-san.
Heipo-san!
Yes, Heipo here.
I know, but...
It was perfect, wasn't it?
What's good about it?
It was like "Tohoku Namaru".
Heipo-san!
It was beautiful!
Don't say things like that!
I think the girl's reaction was good, but...
It was bad from the start, but...
The first one wasn't good, right?
I understand. Let's do our best for the next one!
Can we stop here?
No, no, it's not like that!
There's more, there's more!
Let's do it!
About what you just said...
What was it like?
That's weird!
Excuse me!
You're not answering, are you?
I just want to do it, that's all.
Let's do it!
We have another girl here, so we'll introduce her.
Please!
Hello!
Good evening!
I like you, Heipo!
What do you like about Heipo-san?
When I first saw you on TV...
You were so funny, I thought you were an entertainer.
That's for sure!
I thought you were an entertainer!
That was funny!
What type of man do you like?
What do you mean by "men who look good in tarzan clothing"?
It doesn't have to be muscular...
But I like men who are a little bit big and who look good in tarzan.
Excuse me, but you're more like a chimpanzee attached to the tarzan than a tarzan.
Or a monkey.
Now, let's welcome our special guest, Heipo!
Heipo-san!
Please!
Ladies and gentlemen, we will present the show "Heposhi"!
It's grandpa!
I'm heposhi.
Last time I went to the club, all the hostesses said they were taller than me.
It's grandpa!
My name is Peposi.
I have many big dogs!
My name is Peposi.
The other day, the hostess called me a gun!
No, she called me Peposi!
My name is Peposi.
When I was working in a strip club,
the dancers called me "bean"!
My name is Peposi.
I forgot my viagra at home, so I went home to get it while I was working!
You absolutely need it!
My name is Peposi.
A life without viagra is like coffee without cream!
My name is Peposi.
Turn around.
And that's all for today!
Let's hear the judges' verdict!
This way!
That was a little too much!
The truth is out in the open...
Hey-po!
Yes?
It was perfect, wasn't it?
What was?
No, the girl's reaction...
It wasn't good.
I think it was perfect and interesting, but...
You're exaggerating a little too much with your jokes.
Even if you exaggerate, it won't help you.
But I thought you'd like it anyway.
What are you saying?
I'm not happy with my biography.
You're not happy.
What? You're not happy with it?
No, that's not what I meant.
No, it's not.
If there's no medicine, it's no good, right?
To be honest, it's no good.
Let's call it a day.
Shall we go?
Let's go.
I can't get enough of this.
Let's have her come out.
Please come out.
If she says something good, we'll do it.
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you, Ishizaki-san.
Ishizaki-san.
You came today because you like Heibo-san, right?
Actually, I don't know much about him, but...
You're talking about love.
I heard that you're my ideal type.
So I want to try you out today.
If you look at my profile, you're definitely like that.
You're a bit old.
And you have financial ability.
That's what I like about you.
I'm serious.
If you don't mind, would you like to go out with me?
I would love to get married.
You're serious about getting married, right?
I'll help you.
You're definitely lying!
Let's go.
Mr. Hippo, please!
Please don't.
Hippo and Hippo's short story.
Friend dinner.
Hey, Kyle!
What's up, Yoshi?
You took Hippo carding to your friend dinner party.
Wow!
What did you have there?
Kake-soba, right? Inari-san, right? Mini-curry, right?
That's Tatsugui-soba!
Hepot, hepot!
Next, Machikado interview!
Excuse me!
What is it?
I'm doing an image survey about the world's poverty.
What kind of image is it?
Well, I'm short and not popular with girls and I drink Viagra.
Hey! It's him!
Hepot Hepot!
Thank you very much!
Wow!
What is it?
It was a battle of perfection.
Did you see his face?
Yes, I did. I'm glad you saw it.
If it ended like that...
That was Hepot, right?
Yes.
She didn't even take medicine.
Okay, let's go.
She's stable.
Go ahead!
What is it?
I'm sorry, miss.
Thank you very much!
Hepot!
It's a battle of perfection, right?
That's all I can say.
It's not! There's no way it's a battle of perfection!
He was such a great guy, but...
No, no, the content was really low quality.
That's right.
What?
What do you mean "what"?
It was pretty fast, wasn't it?
Was it over?
I couldn't remember it.
What?
Hepot?
Let me do it next!
Please do it next!
What's with that young lady who comes in every now and then?
By the way, she didn't do anything or take medicine.
What? Did you hear that?
No, no.
What are you going to do about it?
Let me do it next!
Please! Please!
What?
Please! Please!
Well...
That's right.
Yes.
The show is about to end.
Yes.
Let's have a conversation.
I'd like to introduce you to the girls who joined us for this show.
Oh, really?
Yes, please!
Good evening!
Thank you for having me.
Mayisamoto Mayisamoto!
Yes!
Do you know about Heipo?
Yes! I've seen her on TV.
And once in Roppongi...
Yes!
Actually...
I've only seen her there.
But when I saw her...
She had such a great aura.
She has such a great aura!
She's definitely fine now!
She's precious!
She doesn't have such a great aura!
She doesn't!
She doesn't have such a great aura!
She's fine now!
Well...
It's decided, right?
Yes, it's decided.
It's decided.
Let's go!
Well, Heipo-san!
Please!
What are you doing?
I didn't see you!
I didn't see that beam!
What? What?
Damn it!
Ouch! Ouch!
How dare you!
He's here.
You did so much in the penalty game.
Why did you cut all the broadcast?
Then don't let me do it!
Ouch! It tickles! Ouch! It tickles!
Glasses! Glasses! Glasses!
Take off your glasses.
I'll forgive you!
I'll forgive you, too!
I'll forgive you!
I'll forgive you, too!
I'll kill you!
It tickles!
I'll kill you!
Stop it!
I can't do it!
I'm really sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry.
But what we just did is different.
Until she came out, she was already praising you.
That's right.
Then let's go with her!
Okay.
To the judgment.
Here you go!
What?!
Why? Why?
Why?
Your body was ugly, wasn't it?
But you had an aura when you saw it, didn't you?
That's right.
I want you to save me.
It's been a while since I saw you, but you look like Baba Papa.
Failed hippocampus!
Hippo...
Yes?
Wow!
That's the best one!
It's two years from now.
Two years from now.
Haru-san, you said it just now, didn't you?
No, I didn't say it.
It's just two o'clock.
Kogashira, it's just two o'clock.
Kogashira, it's just two o'clock!
Kogashira-san!
Yes?
I can't do it anymore.
I can't prepare it anymore.
That's right.
I'm sorry, but I can't do it anymore.
There were four of us.
No, but this time...
I wasn't prepared for it, so...
You said it!
Ladies and gentlemen...
You know, I don't like it when men are peeking out of the gap of their shirts.
I'd like you to look at me properly, but I don't like it.
I'm sorry.
What are you talking about?
Ouch! Wait!
You must have been stabbed by something.
I wasn't stabbed.
Don't you feel like you've been stabbed a few times?
No, I wasn't stabbed. Don't worry.
Don't you feel like you've been stabbed when you're at home watching TV or when you're about to go to bed?
What is it?
I'm sure you've been stabbed by a tiny insect.
Or maybe you've been stabbed by a skin disease.
Or maybe you've been stabbed by Entry No. 1 aging phenomenon.
Oh, Entry No. 1 aging phenomenon.
Something like that, right?
I don't care about it.
It's a pay-off.
It's a penalty.
This is a serious matter.
It's a serious matter.
Was it April?
Yes.
What will you do?
What will I do?
Your savings...
The savings you have is 4 billion yen.
What?
You're the only genius in the world who has that kind of money.
Is it here?
It's me!
Nice to meet you.
Okay, then.
You have your savings, right?
Yes, yes.
You're saving it now, right?
Is it in your house?
It's not in my house.
If you break it, you'll only get 10 million yen back.
Well, you know...
And you don't have that much money in the bank right now.
Even if you split it up and save a lot of money...
If you break it, you'll only get 10 million yen back.
Even if you split it up and save a lot of money...
you'll only get 30 million yen back.
You'll only get 30 million yen back.
But we won't let you down!
I don't know what you're talking about!
You're just saying it!
I don't know what you're talking about!
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I don't know how much you'll give me, but that's how it is.
I've been thinking about what I should do about it.
But you can't leave it at home, can you?
I can't leave it at home.
What are you going to do about it?
Your apartment must be selling well now, right?
Yeah, it does.
If you're going to save money, you should buy an apartment.
Oh, I see.
You're wrong.
You're wrong, you know.
People are more important than this pay-as-you-go talk.
You're completely wrong, aren't you?
I'm sick of it.
You're sick of it?
No, no, it's fine.
It's not that big of a deal.
It's not a big deal at all.
But what are you going to do about it?
Let's think about it ourselves!
Of course you think like that because you have a lot of money.
How much do you have?
Huh? Money?
No, I don't know.
There's nothing you don't know. Are you crazy?
You can tell me how much you have earned or not!
Tell me! How much do you have?
It doesn't matter if you don't pay me back!
How much do you have in savings?
Why do you say that?
One, two!
Why do you say that?
You can't say it!
What's wrong with you?
If you say it, I'll say it.
Are you crazy?
If you say it, I won't say it.
What do you mean?
Because I have to say "ton, ton", but "ton, ton" is weird.
The audience will be surprised, so I can't say it.
It's amazing, isn't it?
You know...
Yes?
You are the only one who has money.
You know...
Yes?
You know...
You have earned my neck as you expected.
No, I didn't earn it.
I have earned it now.
You know...
What?
You know...
Yes?
You know...
What is it?
You know...
I have a friend.
He is rich.
You are stupid.