The Summer of 2003
The "Downtown Errand Boys" perform a severe rendition of the "Don't Laugh Penalty Game"
Subs and Color Coding by : ShadiHD ShadiBilocate@yahoo.com
Color Codes : Hamada Matsumoto Yamazaki Endo Tanaka Everyone else
These are the four who received punishment
Downtown regular and member of Kokoriko duo - Tanaka Noaki
Downtown regular and member of Kokoriko duo - Endo Shozo
Nishiomiya's favorite son - Yamazaki Hosei
Downtown's Matsumoto Hitoshi
and the one standing in the Penalty Game Command Center is this man
Downtown's Hamada Masatoshi
Can you withstand it?
Merciless traps await to make you laugh
No matter how ridiculous the circumstances
No laugh will go unpunished
The more you MUSTN'T laugh
the tougher it will be to stop
your fate will be progressive lunacy the more you resist
and for those who are unable to resist laughing...
the "blowdart in the butt" penalty awaits you
Welcome Team Matsumoto to...
The Don't Laugh in Overnight Bath House Stay
Welcome everyone to the Hamada vs. Matsumoto- Kokoriko-And "Other" Bowling Tournament!
Everything began with this showdown
The base rules for the match were bowling standard
however, Matsumoto team must line up and bowl together
The tournament has begun, but how will this abnormal bowling match go?
Up first was Hamada, followed by Team Matsumoto
All eyes on Hamada as he has taken top spot
If he gets a spare here it'll be bad for us won't it?
Now enters Team Matsumoto who have never once practiced
What will happen to their collective balls?
ok..Ready? Go!
Come on,come on,come on,come on!
The back and forth continued along a close match
where after 9 frames Team Matsumoto leads 118 to 113
For our nail-biting Hamada its spare or bust on this, his final frame
That was awesome
Oh man!
Looking at that last throw
I'm pretty sure he's been practicing, remembering 3 years of Batsu (penalties) games he's done
And just as Team Matsumoto was coming to accept the reality of Hamada's strike...
Hamada pulls out a spare to finish at 133
If we don't get a strike or spare in our two shots, it's over
So we got to get it on either the first or second bowl
Oh boy do they want a strike or a spare
And now the moment of truth
Alright guys, we can do this.
Oh crap this is gonna be close
That alley is narrow
IF we knock that one down..
then we have another throw right?
and then we'd need another 5 p... yikes, we've hit a tough spot here
Team Matsumoto can win by getting this remaining pin and then another 5 pins
What the Hell ?!!
Let's do this right guys --Yes --Yes we Can --Yea
Aw my ball went off!
Damn!, all of them Went off!!
That means Team Matsumoto gets to do the Penalty (Batsu) Game!!!
Team Matsumoto - Batsu Game !
Now what you've all been waiting for
we're going to watch a batsu game!
Now they're probably gonna say it hurt
and that it was tough
as they always complain
that's cause how it was supposed to be
compare that to what I had to go through in the Onigokko (Demon Jail a.k.a 24 Hour Tag)!
Alrighty, let's introduce the losing bunch
You're the only one who can't make that face
We all settled on that face just before coming on
Uh, what did you guys mean? Like this?
You can't do it at all, You're weird.
Well, why don't we talk about...
Actually, if I start talking about it now I wouldn't stop
In all honesty it was extremely...
Hold on, in one sentence, how was the batsu game this go around?
Well, I'd have to say that my heart and my, eh hem, my...
See, look at what's happened to him. What's happened to us!
It hurt my heart and my rear
A really BIG hurt
I may just require some tender loving care after the show
You got hurt on your ass?
You'd be surprised
For an ass like yours...
We're showing it to everyone today right?
Kind of like a big time movie debut
Just I don't really have much of an opener to give for this
Then tell us about getting punished for laughing
Honestly, I was the only one who thought this time I was on the light side
After 10 minutes I came to realize I was mistaken
Alright, let's get right down to the show
Our batsu game. Enjoy.
Here are the four travelling to a hot spring resort in Yamanashi
To begin a cruel night where a kind of expression raises the pain
6:00 PM
They arrive at the resort Hamada prepared
Where that wolf awaited them with open arms
O weary travellers
You guys are late
Downtown former Manager and Guide Hiroshi Fujiwara
Would you please come line up over here
Why are you stuttering?
As you know already, today we are doing a batsu game
Hamada has left me in charge here
Consider my words as His words and don't cross me
First, no matter what happens inside this resort, you must not laugh
First Rule Do not laugh under any circumstances inside the Onsen
If you laugh, you will receive a severe punishment on the spot
Second Rule a sever punishment is guaranteed to whomever laughs
The game begins as soon as you cross the entrance threshold
Third Rule The Batsu game starts once you cross the entrance threshold
Is a slight smile ok?
Not even a slight smile
What about when something bright shines on your face or something? That happens.
That's not what I'd call a smile
Let's get this party started. Come on in.
Remember the game starts after this point
Is that it from you? Tell us "don't laugh" and on your way?
Start here?
You've all started now so please don't laugh
The Game has started !
This way
You have all the amenities - cooler, store, lounge and great scenary
Pretty isn't it?
I don't get why you're studdering like that
Hey Yamazaki
yes?
you're small so you can probably benefit from eating all this stuff here
well if I want to stay small...
we do have things like little festivals if you're interested
A fake poster showing "Gus", their producer
Wait a sec. Endo was laughing too!
Matsumoto Mocking : "Endo too. Endo too"
The show is by Gus, THE Gus.
Interested in checking it out?
So it's "out" with as little a laugh as that?
That, a little peep, anything really
Tow Very Old ladies Disguised as Schoolgirls
Wanna clear your calendar for the day? (and spend it with me)
Sure
Matsumoto tries to hold down the laughs by grabbing his sides
Here ?
The board above the room reads: Matsumoto, Kokoriko, and Mr. "Other"
Eh, what's this?
There is a lot of floor space in here
It feels big
Ms. Nagai will be here shortly to talk about your stay
Sit back and relax
That was a dangerous spot back there
That "Gus" Festival was seriously getting to me
I saw it right when I walked through the door
I was like "yikes, don't laugh" and forced it down
I saw it while we were getting the tour
They put it right where I would have to see it
right above the cigarettes and candy
There's all these tricks and stuff
like traps
Tricks or traps, yah ?
Seriously dude, stop it. You're trying to trap us yourself.
Stop it already --Ok I'm serious.
But you can't expect me not to talk
Just not that kind of funny talk
But I already saw them!
It's not when they come out, it's when that music plays
that song, yah
Ok, I'm getting serious now
You let your guard down before
I wonder why food is always scheduled during these things
What the hell?
Living Crabs in the bowl !!
That's awesome
What kind is it?
Excuse me
Haughty Ms. Nakai enters
Let me welcome you today to Isawa Hot Spring Resort
Is this your first time staying with us?
We've been here before I think
Oh, well you might already have heard this
Isawa Hot Springs is prominent tourist attraction in Japan
And there are 64 separate rooms, making it comparible in size to Tokyo Dome
Surpising isn't it?
Tanaka expertly covers his laugh and escapes from the Punishment
The matter of dinner has yet to be decided
Will you dine Japanese style or Western?
Since we're in a hot spring, why not Japanese style?
And what about Mr. Matsumoto?
I'll go with Japanese
And Mr. Yamazaki?
I'll have Japanese too
Mr. Tanaka?
Japanese style please
And what about Mr. Green Pea? (Play on Endo's name: "Endo-mame"="pea")
Mr. Green Pea? Which will you be having?
I'll Have Japanese
So for Japanese style it will be:
Mr. Matsumoto, Mr. Yamazaki, Mr. Tanaka and Mr. Green Pea, correct?
I'm certain I've tired you out with my questions for dinner
Excuse me now
Whoa that was bad
You know you laughed Tanaka
And calling me Mr. Pea, I haven't been called that in years
Is anyone going to change now ?
It'd probably be more relaxing
You're changing '?
Tanaka glares at Matsumoto for trying to make him laugh with a fart
Tanaka, undress
Endo takes one look at Yamazaki's belly and laughs
Stop making us laughing !
It's not my fault !
It's not my fault ! I just undressed and you started laughing !
What?!? Why you grabbing me?
You satisfied now, Zaki-san (Yamazaki) ?
He purposely tried to make me laugh
And it's ok for Matsumoto to fart like that?
Whatever
People fart. And I'm gonna fart a lot more too.
Do you have to put your butt in people's faces when you do?
You were directing the smell our way right?
Honestly, you've got to cut that stuff out --Everyone did already
7:00 P.M 1 Hour has passed since the game started
Fujiwara has arrived to bring the four to bathe
I'm coming in
There's a bath prepared for the dirty likes of you
Hurry up and get there
You guys stink
Hurry up cause there's a bath for the dirty likes of you
Stinkers
Stinkers ?!
Just go straight ahead
The board above the room reads: Matsumoto, Kokoriko, and Mr. "Other"
this Sign is Dangerous
Our four happened to come across ms.Nakai and her adulterous lover
Oh geez this is getting bad
Fake Commercial Poster for Condoms featuring their producer,Gus
I wish they'd stop pushing Gus on us
Matsumoto the Menace tries to make the others laugh by leaving his Penis poking out of the top of his towel
Excuse me
Give it a rest Matsumoto
Oh this is nice
Now I feel like I'm at a hot spring
Feels good
I was beginning to think they wouldn't let us in
Man this feels good
Here enters a strange old geezer
He starts to wash his dentures in the Pool
That was close !
Especially the last part as he was getting out
Here enters Black bob who is susceptible to hot water
Ew Hot
hot
hot hot
hot hot hot
hot hot hot hot
hot hot hot hot hot
Matsumoto on the edge of laughing
Hot
Aw Damn thats Gonna hurt pretty bad since am Naked !!
Damn I do feel for you !
That sucks
That really hurts
The four quickly exist the pool
Further surprises await our fed up four outside the pool
Where did I leave my underwear?
Black bob searches for his underwear in the changing room
I can't find my underwear
Pull it out
Pull it out Pull it!!
Pull it out Pull Pull !!
Pull it out Pull Pull Pull
Whoa, it's deep !!
It stings for a long time even after you pull it out
Endo Clothes have been switched with the pro wrestler costume of Dynamite Shikkoku (a reference to a comedy skit character created by Endo years ago)
OK, I got it
I will absolutely not going to laugh from here on out
Did I bring this with me?
Yamazaki, do you remember me having this coming in?
Yama-chan Discovers Black Bob's missing underwear
Wait
Hold on a sec
It's gonna hurt
With nothing else to wear,Endo leaves the room wearing the wrestler costume
It's a disadvantage, that is, cause Endo's just fine with it
Dynamite Shikkoku Sighted !!
Something stinks in here
Excuse me ?
There's something stinking up the place --Yea something Stinks
You think so?
It stinks
What does it smells like, do you think?
I don't smell anything
It's kinda like a foot odor
That's it!
It's that sock over there!
Aha so it was a sock
Wanna whiff it?
It's that smell example from the last game
the thing they always throw out in the show
What a stench! --Damn what a Stench!
I don't smell anything
Why don't you try smelling this
Ugh this stinks
I don't smell anything
Some sense(Smelling) he's got there
Oooowwwww!!
Tanaka, you idiot, get rid of that sock
It's stinky
This is incredibly smelly
Find some place to stick it in
Put it in that
Makes me sick
are you going to put it wit the Crabs ?
Oh Look, those things are still in there
I was just laughing cause they were still there
Well it is a Batsu (penalty) game after all
Oowww!
It hit the bone
We're standing at the gates of hell this time
Why would they leave those things there?
To make is laugh
alright I think I've figured it out
We all get along too well
Its one way at work...
and outside work that kind of relaxed "Oh look they're still there" thing
its that "Oh look they're still there" way you said it...
And this guy here saying "Oh I don't smell anything"
This place reeks of your efforts to get the other person to laugh
I think you'd better throw that way of thinking out
I get it now --Yea me too
We should be thinking about this condition like Pavlovian responses...
It was Matsumoto!
Why!?!
No way!
That was just dirty Matsumoto
You were trying so hard to pull us in so you could get us to laugh
I Did not. I was just talking on and I was surprised even myself.
Endo, it's getting cold. I wonder if you wouldn't mind changing?
Did he say "cold" or "old"?
Yah, could have been either one
The wrestler act is getting old I said
Nothing else to change into, but why don't you put the robe on over it ?
what ?
What are you doing ?
I'm biting my cheek, you know that soft part right there
Like this
Doesn't it sting?
It's like leather
Endo, would you mind doing the octopus dance?
You can stop - it's not that interesting
Excuse me
There's a guest here to see Mr. Green Pea(Endo)
Mr.Fukuwari Ryo has come to see them and has brought sweets
Please have a seat
I wasn't sure what you like but I brought some goodies for you
oh why thank you
Mind if I try one?
Go right ahead
This is good stuff You did good.
For some reason a foreigner sneaks into the room
Hey Fukawa
Tell me that thing you heard?
I'm really sorry but I'm talking with friends right now
Come on, tell me what you heard?
tell me what you heard
Look, I can't right now
tell me what you heard
Ok, but just this one time
"Don't get mad just because I used the corner of the eraser"
the eraser...
the eraser's...corner
Again again
You suck Fukawa
What? Who the hell makes those calls?
What's this all about Fukawa?
I don't really know
Oh you know, all right
the eraser'...corner
Persistent little bugger, aren't you ?
Go home! Would you just get him out of here now? --Yea Get out of here !
Really, thanks for coming all this way and for the treats (goodbye)
you're making me look bad
you need to go home, seriously
Eras...
Era...
Elas...
rubber thingee...
Eraser's...corner
"rubber thingee"???
Fukawa !
We're telling you to go home
You've got quite a fan there Fukawa
You don't need to do that thing here
It's not as if I purposely brought him here with me
The fact is that this guy isn't leaving until you leave
You have to go home now
Don't misunderstand me
"Don't get mad just because I used the corner of the eraser"
Eraser
Eraser's corner
Elaser's corner?
Again again
This guy just doesn't take a hint
Doesn't make a move to leave
Go home! --we had enough already
I'm leaving (Fukawa)
For some reason Endo got tow darts !
Ow
Ow Ow
Ow Ow Ow
Ow Ow Ow Ow
one more?
"Don't get mad just because I used the corner of the eraser"
Excuse me. So Sorry
It would be bad if we kept getting stung like this through to tomorrow morning
our butts will be swiss cheese!
oh boy...
Those were some posters they did of Gus
Yah, pretty well done. Almost got me.
Not much in the way of an ad design
But it still catches your attention
It has a way of burning itself into your mind --yes Indeed
You laugh when, for no reason, your mind thinks back on it
All it takes is one solid moment to find its way in
you laughed...
No I was nodding my head in agreement
I can't believe that counted!
He made me do it!
hold on!
I said hold on
This is barbarous
Barbarous I tell you
We were talking about those favorite posters of yours --Yes we did
the fact that those posters are such attention grabbers
they're ballsy
hay Yamazaki ,When you need to tighten up just before the dart hits. If you move around too much it hurts more.
That inviting smile of yours...
Are you laughing?
Are you mad?
Matsumoto ,Is that your 'busting out laughin' face?
I think you're laughing
absolutely he's laughing
Am not, I Just feel strange.
Tell me his face doesn't look funny
it does?
That face gets misread
It's a quirky grin
You always have a half smile on your face
It invites laughter you know
Don't I normally wear this face?
With puffy skin under the eyes
Oh Damn you guys!
Only two hours in, the four are steadily becoming being prey for the blowdarts
And now that wolf returns to their room
Listen up
Hamada..I mean..the likes of you...
I didn't laugh at all !
We weren't laughing!
Fujiwara you can't talk funny like that
That was totally Fujiwara's doing
How many times you're going to screw up trying to correct yourself?
Even for the likes of asses like you...
Hamada has told me to prepare...
..a meal...heh heh
Am I the only one called for laughing?
just me???
Cut it out Fujiwara, --Come on.
Can you give us the short version? And in one go? We'll wait.
Hamada's kindness truly extends across the Northern Hemisphere
The meal is ready
in the main room
this is ridiculous
Please take your time and enjoy
Is it a real meal?
Lucky us
Ijiri Okuta is,for some reason eating here
Our friend Fukuwa is here also
What are you doing here Fukawa?
I won't bother you this time
What about you Ijiri?
I had some work in the area
So I stopped in
You were laughing the whole time --Damn right you were
Easy on me please
Thank you --Thank You --Thank you
It's nice to have a full meal
Pardon me
I hear that the chef would like to meet you. Is that alright?
A Black Sushi chef enters the room
Please feel free to ask any questions about your meal
Mr. Tanaka, do you have any to ask the chef?
From what ocean were the fish taken from?
Dunno
Mr. Matsumoto, have you any questions?
What do you call this?
Dunno
Yamazaki, you've got to cut that out already
I'm sick of this. How long is this going to go on?
Is everything satisfactory?
Excuse us
What kind of work?
impersonations
Who did you come with? You're not alone are you?
You mean what comedian I'm working with?
a sweaty old man
Did he go home already?
It's quite popular work, really taking off
You laughed didn't you?
Did you really have to ask him that question?
What kind of work is that??
It's late so I'm heading back to the room
You staying long?
Overnight
Where to next?
Kofu
Huh?
Kofu
I just sucked in a breath
when he said he was going to Kofu
It will be quite something
everyone's rear after this is over
that's for sure...
they'll be peppered with sting wounds
and the ass isn't that clean
that's gross
Oh well
make him stop that
what the hell you doing?
What do you want us to do? You did it to yourself.
When you try to do stuff like that, you fall into your own trap
right?
Dig your own grave
You have a double eyelid?
Yah
oh I see it now
Matsumoto, don't you have a double lid?
They really gave it to you this time
Probably ticked them off wiggling as much as you did
It must be close to 8 o'clock by now
eh What's wrong? --what's wrong?
It looks like he's about to laugh
They just said you're out
Why am I out?
another deep one they gave you
Why only me? What about Tanaka?
Really, what happened just then?
He was making a strange face
And right as I was thinking "what are you doing over there"
He fell into his own trap I think
There's something wrong with whomever judging
I didn't laugh one bit
What's wrong with you ?
seriously what's wrong with you?
I couldn't do it with a straight face
It's impossible
You were trying to make us laugh the whole time, weren't you?
I thought I'd put on an interesting face, but then my insides went all funny on me
Excuse me
Mr. Green Pea(Endo), a guest is here to see you
It's decided then, They're going to call you Mr. Green Pea to the end.
The Hayashi Couple, Pe & Pako stop in on their way home from work
We were just working in the area, a couple towns over, not far
Hey Endo, long time no see
I've been thinking your Downtown show could use a new opening song
Downtown Downtown the raccoon's balls...
are swinging hard and there's no wind blowing
Plenty of people come to Ishiwa Hot Springs right?
Well I was talking to Ms. Nakai and she tells me, very serious like,
"I'm not a member of SMAP" (famous boy band with many rotating members)
You know that song of theirs? I'll sing it.
This is for you
These are the best
There are ten, but two are enough
I don't know if I know them, but the conversation's getting dull so adios
sorry
that was a close one
man she laughs a lot
I let out a little noise I was so close even
It's been three hours
The time is 9 o'clock and there are a few more visitors for our four
What are you doing?
I've been waiting this whole time
Itao Itsuji (Comedian)
How long will you make your superior wait?
How can you NOT laugh at that?
Tanaka
I'll be waiting for you downstairs
Why is he wearing that Suit?
What's between you Tow ?
What's with those clothes?
Your Laugh was perfectly obvious
you mean that counts?
come on!
He had a chauffeur with him
Similar to those corporate consortiums
like he's there to watch out for some rich brat
it feels like he's an old era caretaker for rich people
Like Taisho family --Yah, like for the Taisho imperial family
What are you doing?
Seriously, what are you doing?
I've been waiting this whole time
Everyone's waiting
Are you going or aren't you?
Endo disguises his laugher by drinking water
Which is it?
I was really looking forward to this trip
What can we do about this ?
Tanaka, I'll be waiting for you
Why not go with him?
This hellish night has just begun
Those things bite
yah
Those darts don't just stick into your cloths
It goes into your ass --yes It goes right through into your ass
Yamazaki, your normal expression tends to naturally look like you are smiling
Right, but I also don't have wrinkles
Even when you didn't laugh, you still get punished
Those penalties weren't all the same either
Yah yours weren't fair
They were nice when they were doing Tanaka
And for me it's like "Bam"
so unfair eh ?
Endo you covered your laugh by drinking water
yea He Did that Twice --this guy here pretends he's drinking water
yah that was just wrong
I saw that and was like "geez"
Fujiwara did a good job
No way, He was really irritating with his weird attitude and and his gilry clothes...
10PM - 4 hours have passed since starting
While the four took an interview with a (fake) African tv crew
Hamada arrived on scene
This is a batsu game, not a vacation!
Tanaka
How do you find this "Don't Laugh" batsu game?
Say it in a north eastern dialect
I think it's pretty hard
He's so laughing right there. Call out Matsumoto.
What? That should have been ok!
That's strict!, Too strict!
Suck it up
No doubt about it - Hamada is here
it hurts
Could I have you take a look at my ass?
It feels like it's getting bad down there
Whoa! it's totally sprinkled with marks --What ?!!!
This is going to leave a scar forever
Show us the whole thing
Not just the upper back part
don't spas on me
The judges are cracking down hard now
I got lucky just now
Add 1 more dot to the count
The four check their butts though the mirror without thinking
Its 10:30
still another 10 hours to go
Did I scare you?
Our asses are a mess
That's part of a batsu game. Right?
But it'll leave a grudge
Huh??
Why'd you have to go and make a face like that?
My way of Talking is normal
Whose been hit the most?
Endo Matsumoto Yamazaki Tanaka Cause they're calling me out when I'm not laughing
Endo Matsumoto Yamazaki Tanaka You go back there and tell them there's something wrong with their judge
Endo Matsumoto Yamazaki Tanaka rather you laughed I bet
Endo Matsumoto Yamazaki Tanaka no, they do it to me anyways
and they go soft on sweet Tanaka
We're all accountable for our fate
not here it seems
Guys, don't get confrontational
Huh?
You were Obviously Laughing !
Endo hides his laugh by drinking water again
and You did it again
And He always get away with it
I said it sounds...(Laughs)
Aww man
that definitely hurt right ?
Let's change the mood a bit
Let's play a game
An easy game, everyone plays it
Impersonations Past, Present, East and West!!!
answer a certain question while impersonating an appropriate character
Give an answer while doing an impersonation
You know the drill, right? You've done it before.
Ready? Here we go
Starting with Endo
Name something red in the style of Mr. Morishige Ichi
Pasta
What the hell did you say ?!
Post, like our mailbox
Come on, look at the player guys
You've got to watch to see if the impersonation is good or not!
Again, name something red in the style of Mr. Morishige Ichi
Apple
Yamazaki, something red
Lamp
I can't handle this game anymore !
I can't do it
Spare me this once !
What was it you said?
uh, lighter
You said "lamp" --ah Lamp ?
You're mixing them up!
In a game like this, there's a penalty expected with that !
Lamps would categorically include lighters
Fine, might as well call any damn thing red and it'd be fine then
Did I really say "lamp"?
You said "lamp" --Yea You said "lamp"
Even so, that still counts doesn't it?
The answer doesn't matter, it's whether you laugh or not, right?
Well YOU thought it was red
I did. I really did ! - You meant the flame part right ?
The flame part, exactly
Ok, let's continue on
Name something green in the style of Mr. Kuwata Kesukei
Start with Endo
Look at him!
He's doing a tough impersonation, so pay him some respect
Yamazaki, look at him !
ehhhhh ?! Seriously ?!! --You Laughed !
He thought his impersonation was going to be so funny
Here we go
Name something green in the style of Mr. Kuwata Kesukei
Watch him now
Bell Pepper
What the Hell ....seriously !
Stop this game already !
This is so dirty. My ass...
What are you talking about "fever"?
Bell pepper. I said "bell pepper"
Its cause of the Kesukei impersonation
You gotta try harder not to laugh at things like that
Next - Matsumoto
Name something green in the style of Mr. Kuwata Kesukei
Watch him. Watch his face!
??#@$%??
What was that?
What did you say?
I wanted to say "Whole grain batter"
The pipers are coming out in force
Yamazaki, you better watch yourself
Yamazaki, you're supposed to look this way
You can't avoid looking at his face
I've been laughing this whole time and I can't understand it
This whole thing is just too silly
I swear am not Gonna laugh again!
We're going to change it up and jump to Yamazaki
I'm making it so, as of now, you can laugh as much as you want
Everyone is Free to laugh for the moment
I was so happy when you did this
It cut the stress in half
Ok, ready
Green thing,In the style of Kuwata Kesukei
Everyone look at him, Look at his face.
Long grass
I couldn't understand what you said
Grass grass grass grass
What are you doing?
No! ,It was these tow men!
What the...! --It was Yamazaki
Why why?
It was those two!
Are you serious?
Wait just a second!
What the hell man!
Can we stop playing now?
Luckily for Matsumoto ,He managed to escape his punishment
I heard "gra-ass"
You have to use the right accent
At least I wasn't saying "gra-asses"
11 o'clock, and our four are 5 hours in
The cruel batsu game calculated by Hamada still continues
Oh I forgot I had something for you. Let me go get it.
That's ok. --We've had quite enough.
I wonder what it will be, Oh I wonder what it will be.
There we go
What is that thing?
It says what will happen...next time you laugh
Hamada's Special :- Batsu game dice
The stuff on there looks bad
A slap
Thai kick --Thai kick one gonna suck !
Only Options are either a Slap or Thai Kick !
Getting a Thai kick is awful
A slap doesn't feel so good either
Let's play "Gopher Nose Hairs"
The one who pulls the least nose hairs receive the penalty
the one with the fewest, right?
this is separated from the laughing rule?
Huh?
Laughing has nothing to do with this, right?
Ready, Set.
Go
Give it a good yank and put them down on the table
I got nothing
Oh! I think I laughed
It was funny I didn't have any hairs
It's a slap
Matsumoto Receives a Slap !!
Whose doing it?
You're doing it???
What the hell was that ?! --Get back and pull those hairs !
Count how many hairs
You're supposed to pull hair !
Look
Ok, you got 1
Matsumoto?
I have 0
Whoa how many do you have there?
Thai Kick!!
Matsumoto & Tanaka receives Thai Kick !!
Which of us goes first?
whomever, now stand up
Oh no, not this guy again !!
Oh no no no !,Let Tanaka go first please ! let him go first please ! --No no ! let Matsumoto go first !
My God !!
This is Hell !
We're in Hell !
I hate this
I've been slapped, kicked and everything
Hey Yamazaki
I didn't do it
that's not what I mean
This is Hell isn't it ?
You bet your ass it is
Isn't this worse than the Demon Jail game (24 Hour Tag) ?
How could you say that?
This is really bad --Seriously ?
Yeah --Everyones asses are speckled with red dots, Look !
I can't see what the fuss is about cause it's only temporary
No these things will leave a mark, Look
Jeez !
You weren't kidding
What a huge ass You have here !
That was Slutty !
There's no need to wiggle it around like that
He talks like he wants sympathy, but really he's being funny
Cause he wants to add one more mark to his senior's posterior
He's fun teasing, you know?
Look at mine
Yamazaki, look at it
Do I have any?
Hold on there !
Why ?, Stop !
Thai Kick
Yamazaki receives Thai Kick !!
Oh shit !,oh shit !,oh Shit !
He used his strong leg on him
The sound it made was a deep thud (Like boom) !
Our Four are making instant Yakisoba (fried noodles) - a Gift given by Hamada
It'll make a crackling noise as it cooks
Am done through, Tanaka !
We made these plans a year ago
Are you really not going?
Why are you being like this?
I thought we were friends !
You're going
Itao throws a Bag at Tanaka
I can't take it anymore !
I'll be waiting !!
Just tell him you can't go
But they made plans a year ago
A nice, easy 3 minutes passed for the rest of us
I'm going to use the toilet --I'll go with you.
Only one urinal available
What just happened?
You scared me!
They went to the bathroom
Something must have happened in the bathroom
What do you think it was?
No one even laughed
I'm scared now !
6 hours have passed and the time is now midnight
Our four accompany Hamada to a live show in the performance hall
A fake poster advertising "Gus's moving Zoo"
Yet Another Fake poster
The show will be over on that stage there
Buzz !!
A mysterious conductor makes his entrance
With that, let me introduce our performers
The man who represents Japan, a comedian of extraordinary talent
Yamashita Shigenori
And thank you very much
Next up, our second performer of the evening
Yazawa Eichi
The Show producer
The mic's not turned on !
He was singing the "unplugged" version
Eichi makes an encore appearance
He should've got a working Mic !
His voice is so Low !
Tell em to stop pushing him on us
He's done it twice already --Yea it Sucks
Yazawa, do it again
Keep your eyes open
Ha
He said "ha", Who sings "ha"??
What's he singing "ha" for?
How long will this Gag last ?
I have no Idea
I think it's only for tonight
We're slipping if we are thinking that is funny
Lastly, let's give a warm welcome to one of Japan's bright stars
Matsura Aya (Played by Maeda ken)
I'm gonna bust a gut !
Laugh and enjoy it to the end
Those moves were awful
Thanks so much everyone. Goodnight!
Tanaka's included. All three, ok ?
Come on!
There's no stopping that show once its started
It's like they think it's not such a bad thing
12:30 am - Our four wash off and refresh
However, more traps lie in wait for them
What were you doing in that last scene?
You didn't think anyone was watching you then
So what if you were doing it without thinking
That's a sickness
I didn't know whether that time counted in the game
And that water just wouldn't come out
We're heading into the final stretch, but how was it up to this point?
Looking back on it, how was it?
Things really changed after Hamada showed up on the scene
Endo was amazing I thought. He knew right away when Hamada was there.
It got stricter didn't it?
It was so obvious
1 am
Something is about to happen to Matsumoto and Tanaka
Matsumoto notices that his clothes were swapped off
Tanaka's too notices the change in his clothes
Tanaka and Matsumoto are directed to wear the "Pink lady" Clothes
Pink ladies on the scene !
Our four have been completely silent since returning from the bath
You can change out of that now
The tissue box and bug spray on the table are blocking the shot
Wadda ya think you're doing?
It's here! --oh Wow
Premium fruits
A gift bestowed by Hamada for the likes of you
Hamada's kindness is truly...
..truly a mystery of the Orient
What a load of crock ! --Yeah
its no mystery
Gripe while you eat
Do what?
Complain I think ?
Everyone gripe while you eat
Ugh, I hate this
I don't want to take any melon -- me neither
Why does it have to look so good
Come on, let me eat
It was only a slight one
You should know that you deserve it
OUCH !!, It Hurts so bad !!
THAT HURT !!
That settles it, I'm not going to laugh anymore
What's the deal with this pineapple?
Gimme a break
It goes down so easy
So firm in my mouth
5 Minutes later ,Our Four are still griping !
It's such a cool temperature
I want to eat this stuff tomorrow too
it's been sometime since we ate a meal like that
You ate like you hadn't had a meal for some time
Don't chew while you talk
Is it ok to chew and talk like that?
Can't help that
The speed at which it shoots out is faster
That's enough griping
We'll be listening to some radio now. Could you turn on the switch?
This thing here?
It's Monday and you know what that means -
So let's get right to it. Welcome to Heipo's "All Night Standards"
Tell us about your evening lifestyle
I haven't had one for years
Don't you go through mail?
Are we out of time already? I wish we had more.
Time flies as the saying goes
Until we meet next time
Stay Mediocre!
By the way, what did Ijiri actually do for this game?
I thought he'd show up with Fukawa
I can see that
Ijiri really can smoke those cigarettes
Excuse me
Speak of the devil
I was about to go to bed...
but I couldn't without apologizing for earlier
I brought some ramen to say I'm sorry
I'm really sorry
That's very noble of you
Hey Fukawa
Tell me that thing you heard
will you just cut that out?
I'm only going to do this once
Then you have to go home
Tell me that thing you heard
Don't get mad just because I used the corner of the eraser
The eraser's corner you say?
Go home
Take him home already
Don't get mad just because I used the corner of the eraser
The eraser's corner you say?
By yourself! You cheater!
I'll do it for you too, so relax
Don't get mad just because I used the corner of the eraser
The eraser's corner!
My Ass !
Again
Again Again Again
Don't get mad just because I used the corner of the eraser
The eraser's corner!
Is the roof on your house low?
The eraser's corner!
Uh, he said something different this time
Yo, Fukawa told you something different
I'm not with them!
I didn't laugh, Come on you guys !
Why'd have to pick on me?
Fukawa, make them go home
We get it already
He told him something different though
Again!
We've moved on
2 am - eight hours into the game
The fatigue of our four is at its highest, having had few breaks from the fear
Please head to the main hall one by one and by the following order:
Tanaka
Tanaka - Yamazaki
Tanaka - Yamazaki - Endo
Tanaka - Yamazaki - Endo - Matsumoto
When one of you returns, the next person goes
Also, don't tell others about it when you get back
Scary --Creepy Indeed
I'm going
First : Tanaka
This place?
(reading) Please enter from the side door
What's in here?
Oh come on ! ,Give me a break !
The identity of this mystery person will be revealed later
You're holding your ass
How'd you do?, Did you fail ?
2nd : Yamazaki
3rd : Endo
What'd you bring back?
A gift for you
Did you go in?
I couldn't
You're the last one so make us proud
What do you mean 'you couldn't'?
4th : Matsumoto
Tanaka, Yamazaki and Endo all sank due to an unknown trap
And now, to reveal the mystery...
A gathering of Mongolian wrestlers
Suga Kenji (Producer)
impossible, impossible.
So now you know what I meant when I said I couldn't go in
Mongolian wrestlers
Did you see up to when they started wrestling each other?
I saw, I laughed, but they showed me more anyway
They go at it right up to the end don't they?
Seems they like to blowdart you and kick you out
they stick to the same pattern
This is the worst
Matsumoto makes a suspicious move
Would you stop that already ?
why?
As it gets late, Yamazaki laughs at even the slightest thing
What is it?
We're fish in a bowl
What are you saying?
You can see it from there
In the window (camera)
And I thought, "oh they're all looking at me!"
Hold on
Really, please stop it
I'd say sorry, but they've been focusing on me too often
That's why I say let them do you guys every now and then
What the Fuck ?!!,Give me a Break seriously !
that one was naughty
Hold on, I've got a fever!
Hamada, from the command center, sends an old friend back to their room *
and as expected...
Yazawa Eichi The Show producer
I almost fell for it when his fingers hit the window
The number of overpowering characters has grown
It's like the more he appears the funnier it gets
I really need to pee
But I don't want to go there
I didn't need to go much that day since they didn't give me water
You didn't even give us water!
You scared me!
Geez!
am not surprised
What did you expect it to be ?
You know what?
I had to stop my pee midstream
So it feels like I didn't even go
You still feel full
3am - the punishment continues 9 hours into the game
You're tired I bet, but there's still more
Eh, at this point...
At this point, there are bedspreads over at the shop...
..for the likes of you
Mistress Fujiwara begins laughing unexpectedly
Isn't he awful?
So mean
I'm begging you
But now we're heading down to the lobby to test your courage
Courage Testing Time
Our four will pair up and take a stroll through a Japanese garden
Off we go
What did he mean by "courage test"?
A fake "Missing" poster of producer Gus
That was so funny !
anyone would laugh to look at a poster like that
I don't think things are going to jump out and scare us like before
That wouldn't make much sense
It's outside the rules, And I will trust in the rules.
scary !
Nishijima (Singer)
Village of the damned!
Beware the cursed!
Is that you Heipo?
You scared the hell out of me
Haven't you already done this gag before?
Enough already, Let go of him
You're totally missing the point of this game
I'm scared, Let's get out of here.
There's nothing scary here
You're getting in my way
Take a glance at that poster on your way out
Watch out for some stuff outside
Be careful not to stare too long or face a terrible fate
on three...three
No way
What the hell? --No way
I hate being scared
Nishijima (Singer)
Village of the damned!
Beware the cursed!
I'm scared. Let's leave this place
Get me out of here!
They haven't had Heipo do his funny laugh once yet
Endo heads to the bathroom alone
How could they?...
Meanwhile...
That stinks!
eww Smelly !
I forgot about the don't laugh thing
A complete, momentary lapse
I'm definitely NOT going to let them see me laugh
Is that so? I heard you from outside, in the hall.
Tired?
Are you tired?
Its time for lights out
Then what about the stage lights outside?
Its lights out
4 am - Our four are hoping for some sleep, however...
I can't sleep on that!
I'll get all cramped
I wish I could jump under the pillow, away from the lights
Just laying down horizontal nearly puts me to sleep
Does your butt hurt too? --Yes --yeah
Our fatigued four instantly fall off to sleep
I will be reading a children's story to the likes of you now
A long time ago, there was an old man and woman
When the old men went to the mountains to cut firewood,
a temple priest appeared before him
and they sat down and had lunch together
Then a merchant brought up the road carrying a large jar...
..came up the road bringing a large jar
Mistress Fujiwara again starts laughing unexpectedly
Inside the jar was a cute, lively ba...
..a cute, LOVELY baby...
This is awful
What exactly do you think is so funny?
I'm like, wha~??
I don't get it
that face
seriously...
Really, give us a break Fujiwara
It's awful
Our four are close to sleep, but the Devil's Hand, Hamada, is about to strike again
And that devious plan is this -
Tonight is a mountain
"Tonight is a mountain" = Longtime running gag on show) (see : David Husein, Thane Camus)
Tonight is a mountain
He just won't give up
I saw Endo laughing Too
He's So persistent !
What can we do about this?
Damn it!
hay ! Wait ! They called me out ! --He didn't laugh
7 am - our four greet the morning with only the briefest of respites
Time to wake up
Hey wake up
Wake up
Looks like he isn't used to being woken up like that
Oops
Breakfast has been prepared. Would you please head to the main hall?
What a face you're making there ?!
Makes one mad
The African TV crew was next to them at breakfast
But our four paid no attention. Obviously they are sick of laughing
Our four prepare to return home after 14 hours of batsu game
They leave the room together without saying a single word to each other
You were exhausted --Absolutely
Turn to the resort workers and properly thank them
If you're going to do it, do it right
Our four's hellish 2 day 1 night stay is over
But they will carry the pain of the blowdart's needle in their hearts forever
4th Place: Tanaka Naoki - 20 darts
3rd Place: Endo Shozo - 29 darts
2nd Place: Yamazaki Hosei - 39 darts
1st Place: Matsumoto Hitoshi - 52 darts
All together it was 140 darts
Next time, how are we going to determine players?, Teams?
As long as we get back at Hamada
We'll do another 4 against 1, right?
If you loose we'll use a blowgun on YOU!
You had quite the face giving orders in the Command Center
Honestly I thought you a dictator
You could take over the world
he could
reminds me of Tesla trying to take command of the spaceship Yamato
"Take him to the brig!"
Those comedians went because they lost a bet,not because they wanted to taste the blowdarts
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