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"Gaki no Tsukai" New Year's party has arrived!
At 13th Gaki no Tsukai Hallen, "Chiki Chiki", let's have a happy year 2002 as well!
New Year's party!
This year, I, a junior, will be born as well,
so I'll be happy, lucky, and rash!
Yo!
Captain!
I'm counting on you!
- No, no, no... - Why are you counting on me?
Do it properly first and then come over here.
I know!
Well then, we have a special guest this time.
First up is Yoshimoto and Kitte's clumsy duo, "Ameagari Kesshi Time"!
- Let's do our best! - Let's do our best!
Let's continue!
This year, will they be chosen by Hana Hyakusen?
Yamashita-san!
- Nice to meet you! - Yamashita!
Kakka!
Let's do our best!
And we have another guest this year.
"Gaki no Tsukai" Hallen's mascot girl, Omo-chan!
- Good morning! - Good morning!
Thank you for having me.
Yoshimoto's secret boss, Yamada-san!
Yoshimoto...
Good evening!
My name is Yamada. Thank you for having me.
Are you Yoshimoto?
Yes!
Are you Yoshimoto?
You're Yoshimoto, aren't you, Yamada-san?
No, I'm not.
No, no, no!
Tonight you're Yamada!
Don't make me say anything other than "tonight you're Yamada"!
I know you'll say it!
You should've said it properly!
That's right!
Next up is this show's mascot boy.
Downtown!
Please come forward, mascot boy!
"Mascot boy" doesn't mean "dead", does it?
Now...
I'm handing you...
...the band-aid.
You're still wearing it!
Now...
...quietly...
...you'll make a face...
...and I'll make you look at me in a quiet manner.
Please show us your award!
I'm scared of this!
One, two...
"Mascot boy"!
Thank you for having me!
This program has been brought to you by these sponsors.
Hey, guys, look! My wife is drinking chawanmushi.
Excuse me, can I have some chawanmushi, please?
Can I have some of yours?
I like it.
I'm drinking chawanmushi, but I'm also drinking alcohol.
There's wine.
Wine?
Wine.
It's about chawanmushi.
What?
Is there such a thing as wine?
It's about apple.
You know it, right?
I've never heard of it.
Why don't you use it?
Chawanmushi is about wine.
It's not about me.
Wine.
Here you are.
It's about wine.
Oh, it's not.
Now it's really about wine.
No, it's not.
By the way, why are you here?
You're sweating so much.
You're trying to show off.
I'm not sweating like a sportsman.
You're sweating so much.
It's eugerness.
You're sweating like an elementary school student.
You're on American-Chinese-TV.
He's going to start talking soon.
I can't hear you.
I can't hear you. What are you looking at?
I've been watching you.
Last year, Kogoriko was on "RE-JAPAN".
It was like "RE-JAPAN".
It's too soon.
I'll do my best.
Don't make that face.
I'll do my best.
Don't make that face.
Why are you making that face?
This year, "RE-JAPAN" will release a single.
I'll do my best.
Don't make that face.
"Hatsuwarai Manzai University" was established in 2002.
First, the number...
We don't care about it.
"Hatsuwarai Manzai University" is a new year's project.
Five teams will be selected by lottery and perform a manzai. It's a test of luck of "If you get it right, you'll go to hell".
Now, fate has been entrusted to me with this triangle.
Did you get it?
I got it right.
First of all, I'd like to decide it with one vote.
Twelve!
Who is it?
Twelve.
Isn't it there?
Isn't it Mr. Zaku?
Ah, that's right.
Wow!
Thank you, God!
I'd like to decide it with one vote.
Twenty-third!
Who is it?
Twenty-third.
Ah, it's me!
Wow!
Next, second team!
Fifth!
Who is it?
It's me!
Tanaka!
He got it right!
Okay, Tanaka's partner!
Yes!
No. 11!
Who is it?
It's me!
Miyasako!
This is weird!
The next trio.
The first one to be chosen is...
High school writer, Yamaya!
His partner is...
Director, Sakamoto!
The fourth trio is...
This person!
And his partner is...
No. 1!
It's the same as last year!
Endo again?!
It's the same as last year!
Who is this dirty Endo?!
It's the same as last year!
There are four of us now, right?
It's just the trio, right?
There are only three of us left!
No, no, it's nothing like that!
It's nothing like that!
This is stupid!
There's still some distance between us, but...
The first trio to be chosen is...
Who is it?
It's me!
Mamuyamari Hotohara!
Who is it?
No. 9!
Who is it?
It's me!
It's the former jazz musician, Yamashita!
Wait a minute!
Wait, wait, wait!
If you come, God will probably come down.
God can't come down! You can't come down on stage!
God comes down before you even start!
That's fine, isn't it?
Who will it be?
Trio question! Who will be the last one?
Come on! Come on! Come on!
I don't know what it is, but who is it?
Music!
Yes...
Amazing!
No, it's definitely a lie!
No, no, no!
It's a lie!
Don't make me do it!
What is it?
Who is number one?
I don't know!
Seriously!
It's a lie!
No one knows I'm number 25!
No one knows!
Trio question!
The first trio is Yamasaki and Komurasaki.
The theme is "Kohakuuta Gassen".
The second trio is Kokori and Tanaka and Ameagari and Meotoko.
The third trio is Sen and Chihiro and Kamikakushi.
The third trio is the only staff duo.
The fourth trio is Sakamoto and Yamaya and Koizumi and Shishou.
The fourth trio is Hamada and Endo and Chusandashu.
The fifth trio is Trio.
Matsumoto, Hotohara and Yamashita.
The theme is "Hawaii Travel".
The fifth trio is Best News 3.
They make a joke.
As people involved in comedy, they can't slip up.
Each of them makes a joke seriously.
What kind of joke will be completed?
It's perfect.
Let's start the first trio!
Today, I'll be your host. I'm Licence! Nice to meet you!
Nice to meet you, too!
Let's get started!
The first trio is Hamada and Endo!
The theme is "birth rush"!
Here we go!
Nice to meet you!
Nice to meet you, too!
Nice to meet you!
We're Ichiro and Shinjo!
Nice to meet you, too!
We're the Mecha-Leaders!
Nice to meet you!
Last year, we had a lot of happy events!
Yes, there were many happy events.
You must've been surprised by us a lot.
I know your name, Kokomi-chan.
Yes, she is my name.
Our family name, Yamachan.
I know your name, Zaki-san.
We shall continue with our happy events!
I'm sure you'll have a lot of memories after you get married and have children!
Me, too. I'll do my best to make them happy!
The latest way of giving birth has changed quite a bit!
Ah, that's right!
It's the latest way for husband and wife to stand together!
Then, I'll also study a little!
Yes!
Thank you in advance!
Mrs. Aoki!
Are you okay, Mrs. Aoki?
Wait, wait, wait!
What?
No, no, I'm sorry.
We can't mess with you, right?
We can't mess with you, we're just watching you, right?
Oh, that's right!
We can't mess with you!
We're the major leaders!
You know...
Really...
Yes, yes, yes!
What has changed?
Your husband fighting with you...
And of course...
The decisive moment of your birth...
Being in the video...
Video shooting...
This is important, right?
After you were born...
You were born like this!
It's a good memory!
Let's do it for a bit, Krista!
Mrs. Aoki!
It's round!
No, no!
Mrs. Aoki, are you coming out?
I'm coming out!
Mrs. Aoki, are you coming out?
I'm coming out!
You're just like a child!
And...
We are...
Misery Girls!
Thank you for coming!
Mr. President, how was it?
First of all, you're not good!
The two teams are...
Mr. Tanaka and Mr. Iwasaki...
And the theme is...
Sen and Chihiro's "Hidden Paper"!
Then...
Here you go!
Thank you!
I'd like to withdraw.
Hey!
But you know what?
Looking back at last year, there were a lot of movies, weren't there?
Yes, there were!
Do you have any memorable movie?
I do! You know, Miyazaki Hayao's... What was it?
Yes, you do!
Oh, I forgot! I forgot!
What is it? I can't remember!
I forgot!
What was it?
I forgot!
I remembered!
Sen and Chihiro's Kamikaze!
That's it!
Amazing!
Chihiro-chan, you did it!
You're the best!
By the way, did you know about that movie?
What is it?
It was such a hit that it surpassed "Titanic"!
I can't allow you to talk about it!
What do you mean?
There's no way it surpassed "Decapolio"!
But you know, it was such a hit that it surpassed it!
It definitely didn't surpass it!
But you know, it surpassed it!
It didn't surpass it!
It surpassed it!
I can't allow it anymore!
I can't do manzai with you anymore!
Wait a minute! Cheer up!
But you know, you can't start without doing manzai!
Do you really want me to do manzai?
Of course!
Do you want me to forgive you?
Of course!
Then give it to me!
Not now, give it to me!
Not now!
If you have money, you can lie, too.
If you're watching, cheer up!
Hey!
Then I'll say it here.
What do you like in Miyazaki Hayomeiga?
I like rap about rapids!
Rap about rapids is not like that!
I like rap about rapids the most!
Definitely rap about rapids!
Hayomeiga is rap about rapids!
Rap about rap!
I can't do the question anymore!
Cheer up!
Do you want me to forgive you?
Of course!
Then give it to me!
Not now, give it to me!
Wait a minute!
Give it to me!
I'll forgive you for now!
Okay!
Did you know?
What is it?
There is actually a second part of "Sen and Chihiro's Secret Life".
Really?
The title is already decided!
What is it?
"Sen and Masao's Secret Life"!
"Sen and Chihiro's Secret Life"?
"Sen and Masao's Secret Life"?
"Sen and Chihiro's Secret Life"?
"Sen and Masao's Secret Life"?
I'm done with you!
Thank you very much!
I'm sure he just said it here!
You're right!
Because he's stupid!
You're right!
You're stupid!
That's right!
Thank you for your hard work!
Now, why do you want us to tell you dirty jokes?
We've been doing this for 40 years!
No, we haven't!
The three teams are...
Mr. Yamazaki and...
Mr. Komurasaki!
And the theme is...
"Kohaku Utagassen"!
Now, let's go!
It's a bath!
Let's say it together, "unit bath"!
One, two... "life"!
That's a prank!
It's a prank!
What's that?
You're pushing me!
Who's pushing you?
You're pushing me!
Who's pushing you?
I'm pushing you!
You're pushing me!
Do it again!
It's a bath!
Let's say it together, "unit bath"!
One, two... "life"!
You can't say "unit bath"!
It's a bath!
Do it again!
You can't say "unit bath"!
Not that...
At the end of the year, what do you watch?
At home, my family and I watch a love song.
I watched a love song too!
Yeah, you did!
You shouldn't have seen either of them.
Don't say that!
There's a tomorrow.
Let's sing a song.
Shall we?
Let's sing.
I'll dance.
While asking for everyone's good mood.
Let's sing.
It's like this.
Please.
Let's sing.
Let's ask for good mood.
Please.
Let's do "tsun cha tsun cha".
Let's go.
"tsun tsun cha cha" "tsun tsun cha cha" "tsun tsun cha cha"
Let's continue.
Face vacuum.
Wait!
Hamada-san, look down.
Don't look down, Hamada-san.
"tsun cha tsun cha" "tsun tsun cha" "tsun tsun cha"
There's a tomorrow.
Didn't you sing it?
Thank you.
Good!
Mr. Adachi and Ms. Yamagata, and Mr. Koizumi will give you the theme song.
Here you go!
I will change Japanese from now on.
First of all, as a model of image reform...
As a model of image reform...
Cake recovery.
This is a cake recovery called "cake recovery" in society.
It's hot, isn't it?
It's distracting!
Conte! Conte!
What's going on in this country?
It's like this.
I can't speak!
Mr. Matsumoto, Ms. Hotowara, and Ms. Yamagata...
The theme song is "trip to Hawaii"!
Here you go!
Thank you!
Hello! Hello!
We're Spaghetti's!
We're Spaghetti's's Neapolitan!
We're Carbonara!
We're Donbeaa!
Damn you, man!
The fact of the matter is that we're Spaghetti's!
And donbeaa is really...
Huh, but it's really tough, right?
Yeah, it's really really tough!
What are you looking at?
There's something in the middle of your face.
What? In the middle of my face?
That's a nose! A nose!
That's a big nose!
It's small!
Why are you talking nonsense?
It's fine if you talk nonsense.
What's wrong with you?
What did you guys do this New Year's Day?
I'll tell you something good.
As you can see, it's burnt like this.
I was baking mochi at home.
I was baking mochi!
I was baking mochi at home.
I'm just repeating myself.
That's iranian.
That's not iranian.
If it's not iranian, did you go somewhere?
I didn't go somewhere with you.
I went to Weiha.
Weiha, I ate gold hair Chan-neo-pie.
Maynard, Beechick, Goofy, Mickey, Donald, Cinderella, Joe, Pooh...
What does it mean?
Say it again!
I really didn't like it.
You didn't like it?
So you went to Hawaii?
I went to Hawaii.
Hawaii is different from Japan.
Japan is very quiet.
So Hawaii is very quiet.
Clear sky...
Wind blowing...
It's like that.
English is better than Japanese.
It's like that.
I want to go to Hawaii, but I'm not good at English.
In international society, you can't even speak English?
It's embarrassing.
If you say you're looking forward to going to Hawaii, you can only pick up girls.
Besides, you can only pick up girls.
This is cool.
Do you want me to teach you?
Please teach me.
Okay.
Off...
Come on...
Come here...
One more...
You're doing your best.
Come on...
Nice...
Come on...
Hurry up and say it!
What does it mean?
If I don't say it, am I wrong?
What do you mean?
That's not it.
What's that in the middle of your nose?
What's that in the middle of your face?
Seriously...
You're doing your best, but I don't like it.
Nose...
Sing it!
Thank you!
This is really an accident! An accident!
An accident!?
It's a runaway!
I've been bewitched for a long time!