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Last week's broadcast.
I happened to see you last week.
You talked yesterday and last week too.
You talked for about an hour.
Can you not talk for ten minutes?
So this week's "Gaki no Tsukai"
was not able to broadcast even though it was very interesting.
This week, we will show you as much as we can of "Maruhi Unpublished Talks" that the staff have been saving.
"Gaki no Tsukai" Unpublished Talks Week!
This program is brought to you by the following sponsors.
First, from this unpublished talk, there is an incident in Matsu's room.
Can you listen to me for a moment?
There is something I can't forgive.
At this time of year, I moved.
For the first time... No, it's not like that.
For the first time in summer...
Yes, yes.
I had a bad feeling about it, ever since I moved.
Little by little, as summer approached...
I saw something scary.
Was it something good?
It's not that expensive.
What is it? Money?
No, no, it's not like that.
In terms of buildings...
So money is expensive?
Well, even if you say it's expensive...
It's about 200,000 yen.
You're lying!
No, 200,000 isn't much.
It can't be 200,000.
Are you listening?
Okay, then...
Can you tell me about your house?
No, I can't.
Which one is better?
Tell me!
Living alone...
Don't applaud!
Living alone...
Living with your family is different.
Living alone in a place like that?
Okay, let's say it like that.
Okay, okay.
When you saw a cockroach, you wouldn't be shocked like this.
Was it completely big?
It was big! It was really big!
It wasn't a kid.
I've seen a few before.
And they'd go "bang!"
But recently, when I turned on the kitchen, I saw it go "crack!"
It was this big! It was really big!
The one that killed it before ran under the fridge!
Oh, I see.
But it didn't kill it.
So I'm not living alone right now.
I understand.
But you don't have a common will with it.
I wanted to live alone!
Just kill it!
But I can't kill it!
Why don't you put it in front of the movie theater?
I don't like it. It's pathetic to have a cockroach in my house.
I put it there for that reason! I worked hard!
I worked hard to live in a place like this!
Why do you have a cockroach in your house?
That's weird.
I put it in front of the movie theater for that reason!
That's painful.
Because there's another house in the kitchen.
That's his house!
It's your house! Your house is your house!
This space is your house!
I put money in his house every month.
I don't know what law it is, but I put money in it.
If you have money and you move, is it okay?
Is that so?
That's it!
What are you talking about?
I really don't like it!
I put it in the refrigerator for a while and it goes away.
If you had it, you would have brought it.
I don't like it!
I'm more sensitive to cockroaches than ordinary people.
Everyone likes it!
It's not like that! When I was a kid, cockroaches were amazing!
My parents...
My mom...
The floor was about to collapse!
It was terrible!
I put a water pillow under the pillar.
All the cockroaches are hiding behind the water pillow.
There's no doubt that the cockroaches are hiding here.
We all lined up like this.
The whole family!
We were waiting like this.
The father of the foreign pillar said, "Let's go with the water pillow!"
When we got out of the water pillow, a cockroach came out of it!
It was a cockroach!
You're a great foreigner!
A great foreigner!
The whole family was crying!
I was crying...
I wanted to say goodbye to Gokimuri, so I did my best.
But he's still there!
Scary, isn't it?
It's okay. You haven't seen it since then, have you?
Well, it's been a couple of days since then.
He's amazing.
At night, when he's rapping or something,
he's like, "slurping slurping slurping"
and it's like he's drinking something.
He's a very greedy eater.
He knows a lot.
He was quite the eater.
Well, my family was just amazing at Gokimuri and drinking.
I'm sorry for saying this, but...
there was a cat, and it was...
it wasn't a cat, it was drinking!
See, he was drinking!
No, it wasn't a cat!
I don't have a prototype of a plastic surgery! It's just a drink!
It's a steroid!
Because in the summer, when I said "alotaro", I couldn't raise only my neck.
When I said "alotaro", my neck was raised and it was all black.
And when I said "ugaa", my face was like "gama"!
"Hahin"!
It's not "hahin".
You say it too much.
No, really.
When you say "drink", everyone eats this part.
All of my family members ate from here.
It was amazing.
Even if my family went to the beach or the pool,
even if you look from behind you can't tell who my family is.
Ah, you're a man!
It really wasn't wrong.
When I looked at my legs, they were all eaten.
What a pitiful house.
Well, there's no firewood.
Well, there's no firewood at the moment.
But it's okay, right?
You can't forgive the insects in the house, can you?
Why do you think there are insects?
I don't know.
There are also spiders.
You can't kill spiders, can you?
They're always in the bathroom.
They always care about spiders.
Let me in!
You can't do that in the shower.
You can't kill spiders.
You have to be careful.
You can't kill spiders?
Isn't there a time zone?
You can't do it in the morning?
I don't know!
You can't let me in at night like this, you idiot!
But there are men in the bathroom like this.
Fine, I'll let you in.
Once, I took a bath in the public bath.
And when I got caught in something, I got caught in a cloud.
I tried not to get caught in it, but it fell down.
And in the bathtub, what do you call it?
Where hot water is flowing, it was spinning.
You can't do it in the bathtub!
Why do you do that?
You can't let me in?
But it's spinning.
You can't do it in the bathtub?
You can't let me in?
And I threw it over there.
But why?
And I was still bathing, and it was still coming towards me.
It was completely trying to die.
The cockroach you want to kill will run away.
Oh, well, it's okay.
Well, well, but I'll move.
You'll move?!
How much money do you have?
I have a lot of money.
That's nice, Jim!
Yeah, it's nice.
Oh, it's open now!
Matsumoto-san, you love animals and you have a picture of a stupid dog Pero in your hand.
Yes.
I'd like you to tell me about animals, but I've heard that lazy people don't get off a tree until they die.
But what happens if you do?
What happens if you get off a tree?
Well, I'm sure you've never seen a lazy person get off a tree.
I think I'm the only one who hasn't seen it.
Oh, is that so?
I saw it when I went over there.
Where did you go?
Um, when I went to Obei.
Obei?
It's a little more over there in Obei.
So you saw it there?
I saw it completely.
That's funny.
You saw it when you got off?
I saw it when I got off.
Do you know what happened?
I know.
Um, I think no one saw it.
When people see it, they value their own character, so they never get off a tree.
No one sees it.
That's right. Most animals are conscious of what people see and say, "Cats shouldn't be like cats," and do things like that.
But when people don't see it, it's nothing.
It's just that your face is funny.
Yes, it is.
What about lazy people?
I saw a lazy person do it.
When people were there.
What do you do?
I saw you do it.
Yes, yes, yes.
And when you were there, I saw it.
You saw it.
Yes, I saw you do it.
And you got off.
And you were staring at the tree like this.
Why?
And you were like, "So this is what I was climbing."
Yes.
And you were staring at the tree like this.
I see.
And you were hitting it.
I see.
It's not that bad.
No, it's enough.
Downtown Koyuraku.
It was really fun to see it in person.
And it's been a while since I've laughed like this.
I felt good.
The next unshared talk.
First of all, another talk during the war.
I went to Countdown TV the other day.
At that time, I thought, "You too?"
The staff who worked the year before are really scared.
"I understand." "That's not true!"
"What is it?" "There are five pipe chairs."
"Five?" "Five is the number of members below and below."
There are two fluffy sofas next to the pipe chairs.
I know, I know!
What's going on?
The other members should sit in the pipe chairs.
And you and me...
If there were seven pipe chairs, I'd go crazy!
That's it for the broadcast.
Actually, after this, this talk...
You can't destroy this kind of image!
So don't make such a face!
Well, that's right.
Let's really stop it.
When you're in a car and...
When you're in a studio and...
You're only three meters away from a car...
And you're hit by an umbrella!
You're hit by an umbrella!
What?
You'll get hit!
No way...
You won't get hit?
I'm already having a hard time thinking about it.
Who's going to hold an umbrella for me like this?
Most people do that.
But I always tell them to stop.
If you want me to hold an umbrella for you, you have to hold it yourself.
I'm really saying it. I'm really saying it!
I say it, but I don't let go of it.
And if I try to take it off again, I'm scared!
I really don't like people who have their backs turned towards me.
I see.
Even when I put on the microphone, it's amazing!
I'm told many times, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."
There's nothing wrong with that!
It's better for you to put it on for me!
I'm really sorry!
Yes, yes.
But even in that situation, you have to hold your blade a little.
Yes, yes.
It's something you don't have to say.
Yes, yes. This is really...
Anyway, the other day, on your show or something like that, you said it too,
but we don't say things like that either.
We don't say things like, "Don't treat me like that."
It's like you're trying to improve my image of you.
That's annoying too!
There's nothing wrong with that!
I see.
No, no, no.
Which one are you?
That's... that's something you shouldn't say to me!
You shouldn't say that to me!
You shouldn't fight me!
Of course I shouldn't!
Shall we go with the music?
Yes!
(Laughter and applause)
Well, thank you very much.
Well, I think so, but I think her parents are probably watching TV.
Maybe they'll call you and say, "Why are you so tired and down?"
(Laughter)
I'm not doing anything!
(Laughter)
Let it flow! Let it flow!
At first glance, you can tell who it is.
You can't tell who it is, can you?
Well, you know...
You know, there was a party at Itao's house the other day.
His wife's reaction and all...
What was she carrying?
No, she was pulling her hair.
Really?
We're already crazy, aren't we?
Fingerprints, flyers...
Take it out! Take it out!
(Laughter)
I don't like that.
It's bad image.
I don't know why, but Itao's wife is always licking his father's mouth.
(Laughter)
I don't know!
That's what it's like!
Does that wife want to sell sexiness?
(Laughter and applause)
It's not like that!
She's licking her father's mouth!
I fixed it!
She says that and goes back once and drinks again.
As I thought! Gahhh!
(Laughter and applause)
This is short!
She said that and went to karaoke and changed her clothes.
As I thought! Gahhh!
(Laughter and applause)
Thank you for today!
(Laughter and applause)
No, no, this is for today.
(Laughter and applause)
Oh, we own it, sugar!
(Screeching)
When Academy and Cannes sold out tickets, Mazumosu-san gave up and won the show
Hollywood version of Godzilla became totally different from Japanese Godzilla
Speaking of which, if Mazumosu-san were to make a Mazumosu-version of Godzilla, what kind of Godzilla would you make of it?
That's a big question, and you're suddenly asking me that.
What do you mean "asking me"?
Godzilla is totally different, right?
Godzilla's face is totally different, and Godzilla is super skinny.
What do you mean "Godzilla"?
You've barely seen Godzilla, right?
Godzilla is super skinny.
Godzilla's body is super skinny.
But if you were to make a Mazumosu-version of Godzilla...
I'd make a director's version of Godzilla.
What kind of Godzilla would you make of it?
Well... I just imitated the Tanagawa family.
But you can't really convey "well" very well.
I make movies while communicating with people, so it's hard for me to make a movie about someone I don't know.
But you can't make a movie about someone with a name, right?
Well, if you think about it like that, I'd make you make a movie about Mothra.
What?!
What's wrong with making a movie about her?
As you can see from the Hollywood-version of Godzilla, it doesn't matter.
If you don't reverse the previous one, it doesn't make sense.
If you're going to make a movie about Mothra, you're Mothra.
You don't have to do anything.
Huh? What do you mean?
You don't have to do anything?
Well...
No, no.
Did you hear something?
No, no. You can take off your clothes now.
No, no. Wait a minute.
Huh?
Say "Mothra!"
Like this.
No, I...
No, say "Mothra!"
You don't have to do anything?
No, no. I'm just going to walk around the city like this.
I don't have any major injuries.
Oh, like this?
This is Mothra. Mothra III.
For now, let's just say you're Mothra.
This is Mothra. You're Mothra.
I see. I see.
What do you think of this?
I'm fine with it.
As your version of Mothra, how about Godzilla?
Let's use a proper Godzilla.
Isn't that a little weird?
Why?
I'm Mothra!
Godzilla like this is dangerous.
Godzilla vs. Mothra, right?
Godzilla doesn't know about Mothra, though.
For now, let's just say you're Mothra.
There's a cutscene that's about the same as Godzilla.
You get the same kind of footage, right?
Yes, I do.
For example, in A-kiss Sora, people say, "Ah, it's Mothra!" or "It's Godzilla!"
But I'm just walking around like this.
No one says anything.
When people see Godzilla and run away, you do this.
But I'm scared, too, so I don't run away.
No, no! That's Mothra! Godzilla's face...
But I can't do anything!
He's been able to turn many women around.
But only once in the past...
He made eight women in Shibuya turn around.
How did he do it?
That's amazing!
If this is true...
Everyone...
Um...
Everyone...
is turning around.
Everyone just doesn't realize it.
Then tell me, how do you turn around?
You get to Shibuya station like "ahhh".
You came from far away.
Right? You get off the train and Hachiko is in front of you.
You turn around and say "ahhh".
Is this Asakusa?
I know that!
The method is...
to lie in Asakusa!
I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
When you say this and propose, don't bite me!
But...
you say "everyone is turning around", right?
Yes, yes, yes.
Ah, you say why everyone is turning around.
But people say that too, right?
Of course! It's my first time here in Asakusa!
You don't turn around anymore, do you?
Seriously?!
If you say that, you should be more stupid!
I'm sorry!
You guys are out of line!
You guys shouldn't be more stupid!
If you say "is this Asakusa?" in Shibuya, I'll say it!
When I'm alone at home, I turn around a lot!
When I was alone at home the other day, I kept walking like this.
You don't say that at all!
No one will laugh! No one will turn around!
Downtown Koyuraku
We came back for a year! It was very interesting!
Let's make a song together! Please!
It was really noisy.
Well, well, well...
That can't be helped.
I was building a house nearby.
It was noisy and hard to sleep.
But that has nothing to do with Fujiwara.
It's just a normal conversation.
Wow, Fujiwara, it was pretty noisy today, too.
Oh, is that so?
You can say that.
It's just a normal conversation.
It was so noisy that I couldn't sleep.
That's it for the broadcast.
What will happen next?
You don't like that kind of treatment, do you?
No, I don't.
I'd like you to tell Fujiwara not to do it anymore.
No, I won't.
If Fujiwara says it, you'll be mad.
No, I won't be mad.
Really?
No, I won't be mad.
You can say it after the show.
Oh, Machan, you can say it.
Oh, Machan, good job.
I'd like you to kick me in the ass.
You're biting me!
M... Machan, good job.
If you kicked me, I would have kicked you.
I wanted you to kick me.
M... Machan, good job.
Kick me now!
I'll kick you in the ass.
I'll come back again.
If I have a chance like this again, I'd like to come back.
Thank you very much. It was fun.