AISubs v3.4
♪ Yamazaki Ichiban, Yamazaki Ichiban, Yamazaki Ichiban ♪
This is good.
It's a good song.
No, it's not.
What's wrong with you?
Good morning.
- What's wrong? - Something's not right.
- You said that? - Yes.
- I see. - What's wrong?
- Something's not right. - What is it?
What is it?
Well...
- Kokoriko isn't here yet. - She's not here.
- No.
I think something's not right about Kokoriko.
What's not right about it?
I think we should do more of this show.
We should make it more exciting.
I don't know.
Okay, I'll tell you.
Actually...
I read about it in Osaka.
- I see. - I read about it.
- I've read about it. - Yes.
- I'm pretty good at it. - Yes.
- I don't know. - Osaka?
- Yes, I'll tell you about it. - Is there such a place?
- Come in. - Excuse me.
- Excuse me.
Well...
The Ritton Investigation Team.
Mizuno Toru, 37 years old.
Fujiwara Mitsuhiro, 35 years old.
Since their duo was formed in the late Showa period,
they've been working as plain entertainers.
But this time, they're going to Tokyo.
They're going to challenge Kokoriko
to a new battle
in order to survive in the entertainment world.
It's going to start.
Close your eyes.
This program is brought to you by these sponsors.
Let's decide whether we're going to Kokoriko or Ritton.
Let's decide.
- Because Ritton has that kind of power. - That's right.
- That's what Kokoriko is like. - Yes.
Entertainers surviving battle.
- What can you do? - Oh, Ritton can do anything.
- You can pull out a sword. - I can pull out anything.
- You can do anything behind a screen. - Anything.
- You can do anything behind a screen. - Oh, that's easy.
- That's easy. - Shall we say that?
- Only goldfishes. - Yes.
- Yes, it's easy. - Yes, it's easy.
- Can you do only goldfishes? - I can do it.
- Really? - Yes. - Of course.
- Mizuno can do this much. - No way!
- Right? - Yes. - I can do it.
- You can't do it. - No way.
This is a good place.
What kind of woman is she?
Hey, drink only water.
It's okay.
I drank it.
What are you doing?
- How can you do it? - How can you do it?
This is really amazing for a man.
- Really? - Yes.
Bad ollie.
You can do it like this, right?
Can you do it?
My ankle is hurting.
You should kick like this!
- My ankle is hurting. - You should kick like this!
- Not this area? - Yes, like this.
- You should kick like this. - You hit me hard!
I'll do it.
Are you ready?
Go!
It broke!
Amazing!
Look at my lead!
- I was really surprised. - Look at me!
Look at my lead!
This is bad!
- Let's do a competition. - Okay.
It's expensive.
- It's really expensive. - Okay, let's do it.
- Okay, let's do it! - Okay!
Faster!
Endo! Endo!
Funny!
Thank you!
Please try it!
Was it funny?
It's funny now, but if it's like this...
If it's like this...
Can we go now?
Yes! Let's go!
Let's go! Human nuclear power!
Human nuclear power!
Mizuno! Mizuno! Are you cold?
I'm not cold!
What is this?
Towel! Towel!
Well, well, well...
Well, it happens.
It's different.
My back hurts!
It hurts!
Hurt!
It hurts!
It hurts like this!
Alright!
Shall we sit?
Let's sit!
Please sit down!
It's funny!
Can you pass me some money?
What can you do?
Bicycle, tires, real butt-locking!
I can do that, too!
No, you can't!
My butt is squishy!
Yeah, that makes sense.
It stops.
Shibure!
Yeah?
You can't do it like that.
You're running away!
No, no, no.
You're not caught at all!
No, no, no.
You're a coward!
Stop him properly!
Hey!
I'll ride it!
I said I'll ride it!
Leave it to me!
I'll ride it!
Don't be a bully! Don't be a bully!
I said I'll ride it!
Don't be a bully! Don't be a bully!
I said I'll ride it!
Alright!
But I'm going to ride it first.
Alright!
Ride it!
I said I'll ride it!
Alright!
It's a little dangerous.
If it's dangerous, let's do a Japanese dance battle.
Japanese dance?
A battle to save the dojo.
Yeah, let's do it.
This is the last one.
Start!
Stop!
No problem at all.
It's cold.
I don't know what it is.
It's heavy as soon as it starts.
Could you stop it a little earlier?
I thought about it.
I think it's a ride.
Right?
How is it?
Have you done any rides before?
What kind of show did you do in Osaka?
What kind of show?
Like a school festival sandwich.
Right.
It's like a show I just came up with.
And that!
What about the planner?
It's a behind-the-scenes story about how the 3rd work was made.
Behind-the-scenes story?
What is it?
You don't know the difficulty of behind-the-scenes stories, but you make the excited audience quiet.
You make the excited audience quiet.
The elevator on the 2nd floor?
It broke and we had to wait for an hour and ten minutes.
We can't do it.
You don't know what "kagetsu" is?
I'm sure there's someone who's done it before.
What?
Not only in a theater but also on TV, have you ever done "kagetsu"?
You can't say that on TV.
That's right!
I don't know "ureru" or "kagetsu"!
You lost.
We lost.
We can't win.
You're right.
We lost.
So, please do a speech.
A speech about "kagetsu".
Please!
What are you doing?
We lost!
It's different from "shout out" and "say hello"
It's like "dora"
It's easier to say "shout out" and "say hello"
Don't you have pride?
Please!
We can't do "dora" either
We're here to see "dora"
Well, if you say it like that...
Well, it can't be helped
What are you doing?
Let's make a circle
What's up with the audience?
They're waiting already
They're already in?
Yes, the audience is already waiting
Let's go
Are you serious?
Just like that
The audience is already waiting
The audience is already in?
Yes
Let's go!
It's different from "shout out" and "say hello"
It's like "shout out" and "say hello"
Hello!
Wait a minute!
You're pretty popular today!
Thank you!
Well...
I'm happy!
Well...
Hurry up and stand up!
So this is the stage for "shout out" and "say hello"
Yes
I'm happy that you're standing there
Yes
They're all pulling something
This is a big deal
There are three cameras
One camera, two cameras, one woman and one camera
After this, the audience's excitement slowed down
Thank you for your hard work!
I want to say something!
What's wrong, brother?
Mr. Matono
My back hurts
Can I come next Wednesday?
Go home.
It's like a hall, isn't it?
It's been a while, hasn't it?
Last week, you know...
What, what?
You brought your brother with you.
Who's my brother?
Ah, your brother, right?
Your brother, that idiot, really...
He didn't disappear for a long time!
But he's gone now!
Ah, he's gone now...
He's an idiot!
He really followed you, didn't he?
That's right...
He was still in my house, though...
In your house?
Yes, in my house...
As usual, I ignored him, though...
Well, I ignored you, too...
I ignored you, too...
He's scary, you know...
If he really followed you and went out...
What would you say to him?
He's been saying weird things to you since last week, hasn't he?
Yeah, yeah...
I've heard him say it a few times...
Hello?
Hello? It's me, Akko...
I've heard him say it a few times, hasn't he?
No, no...
No, that's...
What is it?
No, no...
He said "the signal's bad", and then later...
No, that's...
Eh? Eh? Eh?
And then later...
That's like...
When you're with a woman...
Hello?
And it's a woman...
Eh? Hello? Hello?
What's with the bad signal?
And then you say it...
That happens, doesn't it?
No...
That happens, doesn't it?
It's a formality, and it's annoying!
Well, that's true, but...
Yeah...
Especially when you're talking about something important, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah...
Once, I was eating out somewhere...
I was eating out with a woman...
That woman's phone doesn't work...
I don't know why, but the signal's bad...
But mine doesn't work!
And she asked me for my phone, and I've lent it to her once...
And then, when I'm on the phone...
"Eh? I've got it!" She said and gave it to me...
And I got really nervous...
But when she said it, I couldn't hold it back...
I couldn't hold it back...
"Ugh!" I said and did it...
And it's a woman again!
Hello? Hello?
Ah, I've got it!
What's with the bad signal?
She was talking clearly!
The woman in front of me...
And it's a little...
She's looking at me with a little sad eyes...
It's tough...
It hasn't started yet...
It's a chronic insomnia!
Again?
It's been like this for a long time!
Yeah, it's fine like that...
People who haven't had insomnia wouldn't know...
But you think you can sleep because you're insomnia, right?
People who are sleepy are sleepy!
But they can't sleep!
Do you understand?
Can you sleep right away?
Of course, it depends on the day...
Yeah, you're stupid, you can't sleep right away...
Because I'm an intelligent worker...
Even if I'm in bed, I think about a lot of things...
So I can't sleep!
No, I don't know about that...
When it's bad, it's like 12 o'clock...
In the afternoon...
I can't sleep until 12 o'clock in the afternoon!
It's hell!
But you're not that bad...
I make my bed at about 4 o'clock!
And at 4 o'clock it's like this...
And at 5 o'clock it's like this...
You haven't changed at all...
Right?
And at about 6 o'clock it's like this...
And at 7 o'clock it's like this...
What were you doing earlier?
And when it's about 8 o'clock...
I laugh a little...
You're crazy!
It's true!
But that's your life rhythm, isn't it?
No matter how much I look at it, it doesn't come out!
That might change a little.
You're lying!
I can't say it either!
Why do you look at me like that until you fall asleep?
But you know, maybe it's because you're alone.
If you lay down next to someone, you might be able to sleep a little more.
No, that doesn't matter!
Well, like this.
If you lay down like this...
You can't sleep!
If you lay down like this...
You'll be killed!
It's lonely to sleep alone at your age.
Even if you say it like that, you don't have a sister like that!
It's not like that, really.
It's not like that?
It's not like that at all.
But you know, I think it's fine for me to be more popular.
I don't know about that!
It's not like that at all.
You're sick!
What's with you?!
Get out of here!
Who's sick?
What's with you?
Really, we have to do something.
Like what?
So we can sleep.
I see.
Isn't there hypnosis or something like that?
Why don't you do it?
Is there such a thing?
No, I'd like you to do it.
During the day, during the opening, even if you don't get hypnosis...
I'll put a CCD in your room...
You'll definitely wake up and you won't be able to sleep!
I'm waiting for the CCD...
I'm sleepy!
I don't care if it's there or not!
Give me a break!
No one's going to check it!
It's embarrassing in my house!
You're such a coward!
What?!
You're like a lioness!
What?!
It doesn't matter!
Ah! I remember!
You're like a lioness!
I remember! I remember!
It doesn't matter!
You know...
I'd like you to complete something.
I've heard rumors about you!
What are you talking about?!
I heard you live in an amazing place!
It's not an amazing place!
Put the camera back in!
Put it back in!
You!
Aga, aga!
You've become so arrogant!
Arrogance?
That's what fans say!
What are you laughing at?
Hey! You shouldn't have shown me that!
What are you talking about?
You shouldn't have shown me that!
No, I'm not like that.
But it's amazing, right?
It's not amazing.
Who said it?
It's like an observatory.
What are you doing with an observatory?
It looks like it.
What are you looking at?
It's like a planet that's not a family.
It looks like it, doesn't it?
It's like, "Oh, you scared me!"
What are you laughing at?
To make all young girls in Japan into girls,
Matsumoto-san is very busy on his days off.
Thank you.
If you happen to be out in the city looking for your dad,
what should you do?
Well, I...
Well, you don't have to worry about me.
Because you're already my dad.
There's no difference between you and me.
There is a difference.
You have five kids.
Five kids?
We were in the same class.
Do you have five kids?!
I have five kids!
If you have five kids, how old am I?!
I'm already 40.
Of course you're my dad.
Let's see if you have kids.
You should think about it. One of these days you'll have a dad.
But I don't have a job. What should I do?
You'll have a dad?
Yes.
Then let's talk about good things.
Let's talk about spilling.
I don't want to talk about spilling!
Get to the point! I don't want to talk about spilling!
That's fine.
Are there people like your dad?
It doesn't matter if he's in Shibuya or where he is.
There are a lot of young people.
How many people are there?
Let's say there are ten people.
There are a lot of young people.
At this time, if there are ten young people, one of them is definitely old.
I see.
Some people don't look like they're old.
Right.
There are definitely people like that.
People who don't look like they're old.
Right, right.
Right?
You should first look for people like that.
Why you guys!
While you're looking for people like that, you should say "Don't come near me!"
While you're looking for people like that, you should look for people like that and say...
Dad...
What do you think is the worst parent's misfortune in the world?
Wow, this is...
It's like it's making me sick.
Right?
What do you think?
In general...
What do you think, you idiot?
In general, people say...
You died before your parents did.
Right?
They say things like that.
I see.
Right?
Is that okay?
Is that okay for now?
If you say that now, you'll leave a record.
Will you leave a record?
Listen carefully.
What do you think is the worst parent's misfortune in the world?
Is that okay?
If you say that now, you'll leave a record, so listen carefully.
The worst parent's misfortune in the world is...
When you think about what is the worst parent's misfortune in the world!
Okay.
I was about to cry!
Huh?
What are you talking about?
I don't know!
It's not my plan, but when you say it, you'll have a standing operation!
You'll have a standing operation!
Huh? What are you saying?
What are you saying?
It's not an operation, is it?
What are you saying?
Huh?
What are you saying?
I'm begging you...
What is it?
What are you saying?
Huh?
I'm begging you...
If it's true, you'll have a standing operation!
You're so funny!
You're fooling me!
Is there a word like "standing" or something like that?
I was so surprised when you said it!
It's true.
I'm sorry, but can you say it again for me?
Excuse me, Masumo-san.
Huh?
What?
You don't look like you know nothing at all!
It's nothing! The story doesn't continue!
What's wrong? What's wrong?
What is the worst misfortune in this world?
The worst misfortune in this world?
Yes.
If I say it, will you say it?
Yes.
If you say it, will you say it?
Yes.
Um...
The worst misfortune in this world is...
The moment you think of the worst misfortune in this world!
What?
From you!
From you, number one, number two, number three, all the way!
Come on, Binten!
This program was brought to you by the following sponsors.