AISubs v3.4
The story began once again in the distance.
When I'm in front of the store, I always sing in a really loud voice.
He's really fast. He comes in about ten minutes.
In front of men.
What?
In front of men.
That man?
Kato Goini.
Why is your man in front of you Kato Goini?
He comes in singing in a really loud voice.
You can tell he's coming.
You sing in front of a store?
I always sing in a really loud voice.
Why do you stop there?
No, it's just that.
When I open it in the chorus, I sing in the chorus.
There are many mysteries lurking in modern society.
Matsuboto Hitoshi will solve them with his sharp observation eye and deep insight.
These four points will be tested today.
Will there be any truth in them?
Matsuboto Hitoshi.
Listening to modern society.
Testing old men in front of stores.
This program is brought to you by these sponsors.
This is Tsutsujimoto's house.
It's one of our staff's houses.
It's in the prefecture.
Yes, yes.
In front of stores in the prefecture.
Yamasaki!
Yes?
In front of stores in the prefecture.
Yamasaki!
Yes!
This is ***.
Oh, hello.
Yes, oh, hello.
Hello.
Um, I'm sorry, but I'd like you to make a delivery.
Yes.
Oh, who are you?
Um, I'm Yamasaki.
Yes.
Headquarters.
Headquarters, yes.
Six, six ***.
Six ***.
Um, one tanuki soba and one zaru soba.
Yes. Yes, thank you very much.
Yes.
Start.
Now, first of all, whether or not the verification that it will come within ten minutes will be correct or not?
That's right.
Well, this is already a flow, isn't it?
If it comes within ten minutes, will it be similar to kato-o?
Yes.
While it's coming again and again, is Enka singing?
Yes.
Even if you open the door, is Enka still singing?
Yes.
Is Enka singing? This and this may be possible.
Yes, yes, yes.
However, even if you open the door, is Enka still singing?
Ah, yes, yes, yes.
Well, it's better if you say it like that.
Ah, is that so?
Now, first of all...
Yes, yes.
Five minutes have passed.
Five minutes have passed. Ah, it's already coming.
Ah, it's five minutes left.
I said that it will come within ten minutes, but it doesn't even take ten minutes.
Ah, is that so?
Yes.
Still, you know, when you say "tanuki soba" and stuff like that...
Yes.
Why is it like that?
If you say "pekurette" and stuff like that, it will end up like a party.
It's like "kotoko" and "kotoko" and "nikomumon", right?
Why is it like that? What is "nikomumon"?
What is "nikomumon"?
This is bad. This is only the first verification. It looks like it will come off.
It's already...
No, no, no.
It's already seven minutes past.
Seven minutes? Eh, you're lying! This is bad.
Eh, seven minutes? Ah, it's really seven minutes.
It's only three minutes left.
It's only three minutes, right?
Ah, it looks like it.
I thought I could still do one and three, but this is one...
Ah, it's here!
Look!
It's true!
Seven minutes and twenty-eight seconds.
First, it's ten minutes.
Um, I'm going to take it off now.
The first verification was correct.
It's here.
Yes, this is a zero.
Now, for the next verification...
A man who looks like Kato Ogami.
Yes.
I'll send it to you later, Kato Ogami.
I can't hear you at all.
Excuse me.
May I come in?
Thank you for coming.
Thank you.
Hello.
Oh.
Kato Ogami.
I didn't know you were here.
I'm sorry.
Um...
809 yen.
809 yen?
Yes.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'll send you 100 yen.
Thank you.
Oh, he's gone.
Hey, hey, hey!
It's messed up!
It's only delivery time!
What?
It's messed up!
I'm not lying!
Um, you know...
Even if you open the door, you're singing.
Well, it doesn't look like it.
It doesn't look like you're singing at all!
That's...
You can't even sing with your nose.
Right, Yamosaki?
I can't sing at all.
Right?
Yes.
Do you look like Kato Ogami?
I don't look like him at all!
You don't look like a man at all!
No, my face was a little swollen today, but...
No, it's not like that!
It's only delivery time!
Why are you singing?
You sang even ten times before you came out!
Even just for that...
Even just for that, you can get a singing show.
For an hour...
I really couldn't sing at all!
You're not a champ!
Let me sing next to you!
No, no, you should really be a champ!
Let me sing next to you!
If you call me one more time, will he come?
I think he will.
I know where you are.
Can I call you one more time?
He will come this time.
This time...
No, I think he won't come this time.
So, please relax.
He is like a regular customer.
I know where you are.
So, please relax and sing.
I can think of a way for you to come.
Bring me a large bowl.
Let me check the time again.
The first call was 7 minutes and 28 seconds.
This is as verified.
Excuse me, this is Yamazaki from Tama.
Yes!
Um...
One more kitsune-udon.
One kitsune-udon.
One more kitsune-udon.
Yes!
Please bring me one more.
Understood!
Yes!
I hung up the phone!
You said you would come next time!
Thank you for coming...
What did you say?
What did you order?
I ordered kitsune-udon.
Kitsune-udon...
Yes.
I order udon first and then come here.
I know you are a regular customer.
This is a stubborn restaurant.
You look like a friend of mine.
I will go back to Kato again.
I want to go back to Kato.
I didn't look at you properly.
It's been 7 minutes.
He is late.
By that time, the old man had already left the motorcycle and ran through the shopping street.
Will Matsuboto be able to keep his promise?
He is here!
He is faster than before!
Isn't he?
7 minutes and 24 seconds.
He is definitely faster than before!
Shush!
Take it!
I'm going to win.
Hey, now! Take it!
I'm going to win.
Do you need it?
You're making me laugh.
You're the worst!
Can't you hear me?
Maybe it's not.
Ladies and gentlemen...
Good evening.
Again...
Again you lied to me.
Well...
The old man in front of you said it today.
Yes, of course I said it.
There is a personal difference.
You look like a pot.
Do you think I'm a man?
Of course I do.
I think you're a man.
Do you?
Why do you look like that?
That's good.
That's a good picture.
You're singing a song on the way.
It's very quiet.
It's the worst.
I'm sorry, but you're sorry, too.
Why?
I'm not lying.
You're lying about everything.
You're lying about everything I've said so far.
You're lying!
Kappa, Shikari!
Kappa...
You've been telling me about Kappa since elementary school.
There's no Kappa in the world of "Kumitori Benjo".
When you came home, you told me about that time, didn't you?
You told me about the monster of Itachi.
I don't know!
Itachi, who had wings like a flying fish, was sitting on a desk.
He was like this on the hot tub...
And he was spitting hot water like "shiboshiboshibo".
"It's hot!" He said.
And he said he ran away because he couldn't get out of the water.
Hey! Are you lying about everything you've said so far?!
You're lying!
You're lying about everything you've said so far!
What kind of crying do dogs do?
Oh, let me ask you this.
What kind of crying do they do?
They say "nyon"!
No, this is for real! This is for real!
But I've seen dogs like this before.
No, it's for real! It's for real!
It's for real!
Stop it, stop it!
But it's for real!
I'm not like that! It can't be!
It's for real!
They do it like this!
It can't be!
No, it's for real!
It's definitely for real!
No, it's fine!
What do they do?
"Nyon"?
They say "nyon"!
It's a little different!
It's a little different from the beginning!
"Otama"!
"Otama kake"!
"Kuruma dome"!
"Kuruma dome", yes, yes.
"Demae no osu san"!
"Demae no osu san" has come.
Everything seems to be broken!
No, it's not broken!
If you have something, please say it.
Shall I say it?
You know "chirimen jaco", right?
Yes, yes.
"Chirimen jaco"!
Do you know "chirimen jaco"?
I know it!
It used to have tiny crabs in it!
I know it!
I know it all!
Do you know "udon"?
I know it!
"Udon"!
There's only one "soba" in "udon"!
I know it!
I know it not!
What do you mean?!
I'm not saying anything!
It's not a verification or anything!
You know, in "udon",
there's a shop that shows you kneading through glass.
Yes, yes, it does.
Yes, it does.
You know, the shop that makes you look like you're floating in water.
They don't have it.
Old men like you.
Just make some soba for now!
Why are you doing this to me?
There's no way they have it.
Matsuo-san!
Yes!
I have a letter for you.
What is it?
I have a letter for you.
I made it myself and brought it here today.
"Hitoshi loves you".
Yes, that's what it says in the letter.
"Dear Matsumoto Hitoshi,
It's the first time I've ever sent you a letter like this,
even though we always meet in work or in private.
I'm a little embarrassed.
Do you know what day it is today?
Well, I've already given you the chocolate, so I think you know.
For you, today is a memorable...
Today is a memorable special anniversary of love confessions.
It seems like everyone in the entertainment world thinks of me like a little scared older woman.
I don't think so.
I'm not a little scared.
You know who I really am, don't you?
I don't know what it says anymore.
I'm going to confess.
I like you.
Please reply soon.
I'm serious.
I'll call you again.
Wada Akiko.
I'll kill you!
I haven't heard from you in a while.
I'm happy for you.
You're in big trouble.
I'm sure you'll get fired.
I thought you were someone I could be happy with.
What do you mean by "someone you could be happy with"?
Like...
You mean someone younger?
Yes, yes.
Like a talent?
Yes, yes.
Someone you like?
It's about time.
Send me one of those.
Scary! Scary!
The culprit...
You scared me!
What is it?
The culprit brought it again.
Oh no, oh no, oh no!
Give me an answer.
You're busy, aren't you? Can you do it like this?
Ah!
Your bangs are shaking!
Why are you sweating like that?
You scared me! Really!
Of course you scared me!
You're like a yakuza leader.
Thank you very much.
Why don't you give it back?
Your bangs are shaking!
Why are you sweating like that?
You're sweating a lot!
Why are you sweating like that?
It's because you're saying the opposite of what you're thinking.
Ah, I see.
Don't you remember when you came to my house?
You said you really like me.
You said you're sad that I'm married.
You should have known me earlier.
This guy's brain color is like this.
It's strange.
Can you say something funny?
Give it back!
Oh, I'm scared.
Have you calmed down? If you have, let's move on.
I haven't calmed down, but I want to cut and forget as soon as possible.
Ah, yes, yes.
Shall we cut and forget?
Is it okay?
Yes.
It's okay, right?
Yes.
When you say "Matsumoto Hitoshi" in national language, what does it mean? Please tell me.
Have you ever heard of it?
No, we haven't!
We haven't heard of it!
Don't tell me you say "Matsumoto" in national language!
No, we haven't!
However, when you say it with courage...
This guy is stupid!
When you say it with courage, it comes out.
This guy is stupid for being so serious.
Courage... Courage... The will and effort to go towards something...
And when you say it like a wave, it says "something like Matsumoto Hitoshi".
Ah, it's "something"!
Is it here?
Yes, yes.
Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch!
Um...
When you say it with courage...
Also, when you say it backwards, it says "something like Matsumoto Hitoshi".
When you say it backwards, it says "something like Matsumoto Hitoshi".
Isn't it like that?
Ah, we don't have much time!
No, we don't!
We only have 2 minutes left!
Ah, we can't do it anymore!
We're in the middle of the game!
We're in! OK! Let's go!
What is this?
We're already in Yoyogi Rescue!
Alright, let's go!
What is this?
Yoyogi Rescue?
Kanpei-san...
He's here!
We made it in time!
OK!
Is it 24 hours?
(laughs)
What? Are you checking it with courage?
Yes, I'm trying to prove it.
You're slow.
Courage.
Courage. Courage.
Courage.
What courage?
Courage.
Yes, you're the courage of courage compounds.
I don't know about you!
Who is the courage compounds?
What courage?
Of course, you're the courage of courage compounds.
I'm not afraid of anything. I'm strong-willed.
If there's something, I'll do it.
That's it.
(laughs)
It's weird! How many years is it?
(laughs)
Does it change?
It doesn't change!
It increases, but it doesn't decrease.
But it's on the old one.
Did you kill it?
It doesn't work.
What doesn't work?
It's 2060 yen.
(laughs)
You have to love it more.
(laughs)
Whose love is it?
(laughs)
If it was a record, I know it.
Yes, another lie. (laughs)
I've been pooping lately, and even if I wipe my ass, I still get poop.
And I have poop on my pants.
What should I do?
You're 19 years old. (laughs)
First of all, I have poop on my pants.
No, you're an experienced person.
Of course.
Because I'm the main one.
What?
I have poop on my pants.
(laughs)
What are you guys doing together?
No, no, no.
He's a sub anyway, so I'm the main one.
Oh, you're the main one.
Please make me the main one.
Yes, yes. I'm sorry.
Yes.
Now, first of all, throw away all of your pants you're wearing now.
Why?
Because all of your pants you're wearing now have poop on them.
(laughs)
But if you wash them...
Even if you wash them, you can't get poop.
Oh, really?
Don't lick your poop.
(laughs)
I'm not licking it.
(laughs)
I'm not licking it.
(laughs)
To be clear, there's no way you can't get poop.
(laughs)
Everyone has it.
No, everyone has it.
I'm sorry.
I have it.
You do?
No, no, no.
(laughs)
No, no, no.
I apologize on behalf of all mankind...
(laughs)
Say it again.
(laughs)
I apologize on behalf of all mankind right now.
I'm sorry.
(laughs)
I'm sorry.
I apologize on behalf of all mankind.
That's why you have poop on your pants too.
I don't have it.
No, no, no.
That's enough.
(laughs)
You don't have to worry about it.
I'm not worrying about it!
It's natural.
(laughs)
I have it.
When you're in a bad mood, when you're tired, there's something you can lick, right?
That's what I don't have.
(laughs)
Are you stupid?
I've never done it like that.
I've done it more properly.
I've never done it like Urakaido.
What do you mean properly?
That's why I poop and lick.
But you haven't done it all.
What are you talking about?
You left it for a little bit, wiped it once and went away.
You're not a cripple.
If you walked like a cripple, wouldn't you be kicked out?
Your ass!
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Okamoto, call a lawyer.
If you say this, you'll win.
Let's fight in court, in court.
Call a lawyer, quickly!
I went out with a woman the other day.
I'm a man, you know.
I went out with a woman the other day and got along with her.
We're talking about getting married.
But before that, there's one thing I have to confess.
It's that I'm a wig.
Oh, that's good.
How can I confess without hurting her...
No, it's not a good thing.
Can you accept me without hurting her?
I think it's best to pretend it's an accident.
An accident, you say...
Yes.
So, for example, the low part of the ceiling...
Oh, no, no, no, no!
Oh, no, no, no!
It's too beautiful!
It doesn't matter.
It doesn't work like that.
It's difficult.
Is it?
You know, if you're going to get married, you'll have a place to stay.
Yes, yes, yes.
Where do you want me to leave you in the morning and at night?
I want you to act like it's normal.
But you...
You're a shocker.
When you look at me like that...
Is that so?
What kind of reaction do you want me to take, pretending it's a joke?
No, no, that's you...
Because you can't tell which one is your lover, if you make her your girlfriend.
What?
You two are talking about the same thing!
You're talking about the same thing!
You're talking about which one is me and the veil!
What would you do if you were naked?
If you were wearing a veil.
You know, you can't help it if you're not allowed to do anything, right?
You know...
I don't know...
You know, you can put animals on it or something...
That's...
You can't put animals on a mask!
You know, you do a lot of different things!
Do you have to do it like this?
Even if you don't do it like this, you have to do it like this.
Do you have an animal that does it like this?
No, that's...
What?
What is it?