AISubs v3.4
Every month, Matsu-chan Miso-ji Birth happens!
So many things!
Soccer team meeting!
I'm 30 years old.
I'm going to prepare a cake for you.
No, forget it.
No, no, no.
I put it over there earlier, but I've already seen it.
Eh?
For now...
Congratulations!
I'm 32 years old.
I was born on my birthday.
Ah, is that so?
Right?
Yes.
Soccer, volleyball, all kinds of things.
Ah, that's nice.
That goalkeeper is good, but this one is too different.
Why?
This one has an amazing wall, doesn't it?
No, look at this one.
It's like a condom.
It tears right away.
It's thin, it's thin.
What's wrong with you?
Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!
Which one of you is loose?
Slow motion!
(laughs)
You are a goalkeeper!
Goal transfer!
Catch it! Catch it! Catch it! Go!
It's okay, it's a safe shot.
Okay, put the weapon on top and roll.
Handle!
I got it, I got it!
Okay, okay, okay!
Put it on!
Handle!
Change the ball! Sam-dai!
Oh, this is bad.
Scary! Scary!
Oh, this is bad.
Go!
Up!
This is scary!
Hand! Hand! Hand! Hand! Hand! Hand!
This is scary! Don't aim at me!
Heading! Heading!
Heading!
Don't hit me! Don't hit me!
Hand! Hand! Hand! Hand!
Why did you hit me?!
Here! Here! Here!
What?!
Hand! Hand!
Where did you get it?!
I got it! I got it!
Go!
I dropped it by accident! By accident!
I got it! I got it!
One more time! One more time!
Hand! Hand! Hand!
Go!
Ladies and gentlemen...
Good evening, good evening, good evening
Yes
Um, what happened?
Hmm
A while ago
Yes, yes
I was on the TVS bench
Yes, TVS bench
Hmm
I was doing like this until 4 or 5 o'clock
I thought I was going to fall
I was doing like this and I looked at the wall in front of me and it said "half-step forward"
I was doing like this and I dropped my banknote in the middle
Hmm
That's why I always drop my banknote on the TVS bench
No matter how much common sense you have, no matter how much you can study or play sports, you shouldn't have been born to put your banknote on the bench
Even if you say that, you're already 30 years old
You're 30 years old
30...
Have you ever dropped an old woman out of the toilet?
No! I really haven't!
Really?
I've never dropped an old woman out of the toilet
I don't know why such a phenomenon happens
The toilet paper is falling to the side and to the back
That's why when I first came in, I had a bed with me
I couldn't help it, so I did it there
When I came out, there was someone waiting for me next to me
That's a bad omen!
So when I was about to go, I said, "Hey! Don't waste my luck!"
There are people who don't know about it, right?
I don't know if I really did it or not
But I don't like it when people think like that
So when I was waiting for it to come out...
It spilled...
It spilled, didn't it?
God wants you to say you didn't do it!
It spilled, didn't it?
When you say, "Wow!" and put it in front of your clothes, doesn't it spill?
It does, it does
It does, doesn't it?
More than that, when you're at home and God isn't there...
Ah!
You go like this, right?
This is...
Isn't it like this?
When you look at it, it's like you're walking on your own path...
It's like you're walking on a slippery road...
It's like you're walking on a roadside...
Ah! So this is how I walked!
That happens, right?
I don't know what you're talking about...
There's something that's been bothering me lately, hasn't it?
What is it?
I don't know...
I feel like I've been given something nasty...
I know you want to show it, but your family...
That's right!
No, it's not like that!
Then what is it?
Kansai... Owarai...
It doesn't say Kansai...
Owarai... Owarai...
Super...
It doesn't say "idol".
It says "idiot who infected me with illness".
Hello, idiot.
That's lame!
If you do it like that, you'll get dumped even though you were dating.
It's better to be kept secret.
No, this is what Hama-chan said just now.
What are you talking about?
It's really like that.
You're getting on my nerves.
This is what Hama-chan said just now.
It's really like that, isn't it?
Isn't it?
It's like...
No, it's all lies!
No, no.
Hama-chan gave me a calpis soda.
It doesn't say "hama-chan" there.
I'm not even a calpis soda connoisseur!
Maybe you're wrong about that.
No, I'm wrong about that.
So, I gave him a calpis soda...
See?
And then, according to the magazine...
I spilled the calpis soda.
And Hama-chan wiped it for me.
After he wiped it for me...
I drank it straight away!
You idiot!
You're like a gate of youth!
Is there such a thing as a gate of youth?
No, but you know, over there...
You know, you wrote that you were an orphan.
That's not it!
And you were forced to do it.
I've been thinking about it for a long time.
Did you really have one like that?
I don't have one!
That's not it.
You don't have to force yourself to do it.
That mark...
That mark you have on your back...
That's it!
What? What? What?
You know, she was crying.
She was forced to do it.
She's an orphan! It hurts!
She's sad, even though she's being forced to do it!
She's crying because she's sad!
But you know, you were happy to be with me!
I was like...
What?!
When I thought about it, you took out 10,000 yen from your wallet and said...
Go home!
That's how it is!
It's like...
It's already dark and you're wandering in the city at night.
That's how it is.
I'm telling you to bring her home!
Seriously!
There's a lot of "bring her home"s.
There's also "bring me home"s in front of me.
"Bring me home"s...
It's more like "friend"s than "friend"s!
"Friend"s!
No, it's not like that! One hundred, two hundred, even lower!
Eh?
I'm serious!
Eh?!
Lower, lower!
Lower!
I'm serious!
When I became a gejira...
No, but wait!
When you became a gejira, do you remember doing something with someone?
No, of course I do!
Ah, I-I see!
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
Wait, wait!
No, no!
Um...
You don't know much about gejira.
Someone gave me one!
I see, I understand that!
That's right!
I'm not the one who said "hehehe, what are you doing?"
What are you doing?
The gejira is finally complete!
I didn't say that!
No, no!
If you could do it, why did you become a young man?!
If you did it like that, it's obvious that I'm a victim!
Of course you are!
You're such a bad person!
I'm also a victim!
But don't think about it here!
I'm also a victim!
Someone gave me one!
Then you should fix it!
But it takes some time for me to notice it.
You don't know it right away.
Ah, is that so?
Yeah.
Sometimes I play with it for a little while.
Ah, I see.
Sometimes it shows up like that.
But!
But you know, it doesn't show up that much when you have sex with it!
Why?!
I've never shown it like that before!
No way!
You don't know if it just happens to show up for the first time and you're pissed about it!
Well, that's fine!
Including that, I've shown it before!
Isn't it fine?!
Hey!
What's with you?!
Oh no, it's the other way around!
No way!
Even if you say it like that, I don't know what to do!
I didn't say it like that!
Is it fine for you to get mad about something like that?!
It's also a memory!
Now that you say it like that, I don't know why!
For example, if you were an idol singer, you'd say "G. Jim Kwon", right?
Right? But for me...
Now that you say it like that...
Even if you were told about it, it doesn't hurt or sting like that.
Well, it didn't sting for you.
Well, it didn't sting for you...
Well, it didn't sting for me...
Mentally, it doesn't hurt anymore.
It doesn't hurt anymore.
That's right.
But you came out and took a picture, right? With your back to me.
With my back to you.
But you came out and...
No, I don't think it's the same. Those stories are all lies, you know?
What stories?
You came into my house and drank Calpis soda with me.
They're all lies now.
But what if the woman who did it with me...
Maybe it's true.
Ah, I see, I see.
That's it.
And whatever it is, it's true.
Yes, yes, yes.
As for that, I'm sorry to say it, but...
Well, well, well.
I have one of those water bottles.
What a shame!
But that story about the bottle is a lie!
As for that matter, I...
More than that, more than anything, they're all lies!
Well, I wonder...
Well, if you're a fan of mine, you know that I have a cell phone...
Well, it's different now, but...
And that I was driving a white car...
And that I often meet up in front of Alta.
Why in front of Alta?!
That's weird!
I don't know.
You know...
A guy who's been on so many TVs...
Meeting up in front of Alta with a woman...
I don't know about that!
Oh, um...
That's not what I meant...
You know...
From now on, you'll meet up...
And you'll have your first date...
You...
You're saying something disgusting!
In that sense, Alta...
Is a good friend.
That's irrelevant!
A good friend!
I don't need hugs!
Right?
And in the room...
You'll make a secret between you two...
A so-called...
Secret.
Secret?
What are you talking about?
What is that yellow smell...
That comes out of your mouth?
What is it? Is it bad breath?
No, it's like...
Ha!
When you do it...
You know...
I've been saying it for a long time...
I don't say "secret"!
Oh...
And that "ha!" sound...
I can't say it!
Does that yellow smell...
Come out of your mouth?
Other than bad breath?
Ha!
No, that "ha!" sound!
Why do you say "ha!"?
Tell me about it!
Why...
Why do you say "ha!"...
When you take out that bread?
I say it a lot!
Do you say it to take it out?
For example, when you're thirsty...
You say "ha!" like that!
For example, you're thirsty...
Let's say...
Yes.
Are you thirsty?
Yes.
You came to my house to play...
Are you thirsty?
Yes.
Are you thirsty?
Yes.
Do you drink calpis soda?
Yes, it's easy to drink.
It's easy to drink, isn't it?
Do you go to the fridge?
Yes.
Ha!
Why?!
Why are you so excited about opening the fridge?!
Let's say it's a lie.
Are you kidding me?!
Kan Kan!
"Ha!" No, but why?!
Why?!
Well, let's say it's a lie, too. Here, drink up, drink up. I'll have a drink, too. Here, cheers!
"Ha!" Why?!
This is...
Ha!
There's a lot of "ha"s in there!
I'm begging you! If you say "ha", it's easier for "ha"s to come out!
Yeah, yeah. So...
Hey!
Huh?
You're crazy...
Hey! "Ha!"
What is it?!
I'll say it! I'll say it!
No, you won't!
I'll say "ha"!
That's... "ha", right?!
"Ha", what is it?! "Ha", right?!
You're angry, aren't you?! I went to karaoke!
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-
Stars are falling, the night is... "Ha!"
"Ha", what is it?!
I don't care about "ha"!
"Wonchu!" I'll say it!
I don't care about "ha", I don't feel "wonchu"!
You're talking about "ha", too!
"Wonchu!" Is what they call...
WHAT?!
This is what happened to me in my 30 years of life!
For example, what do you do when you're drunk?
For example, you're in a car, right?
When you're in a car and all of a sudden a woman jumps out of the car, right?
- When a person jumps out of the car... - Right?
When you're drunk!
- Is that when you're drunk? - That's when you're drunk!
But when you're drunk and you're in a car and a person jumps out of the car...
You're drunk!
So...
When you jump out of the car, isn't that when you're drunk?
Isn't that when you're drunk?
- Is that when you're drunk? - Yes.
How can you say you're drunk?
Isn't it because you don't say you're drunk too much in your life?
It's not that I don't say it too much!
Everyone else doesn't say they're drunk, right?
I'll be honest with you.
When you say you're drunk in your daily life, what time is it?
You say you're drunk in your daily life and you enter your room.
You come back.
You come back. Where do you jump out of the car?
I don't have any regrets about that.
When you get out of the elevator, you jump out of the car!
Jump out of the car!
How can you say that?
Why?
When you push the elevator, you jump out of the car!
I'll leave it at that.
There's nothing more to it than that.
But if you say it more and more, you'll definitely jump out of the car.
Why is it yellow like this?
Everyone knows about it.
- Really? - Yes.
Why is the black dog poop that's lying on the roadside growing hair?
Does it have hands in it?
Well, for now, it's like this.
Isn't it because you can't digest it?
Huh? What do you mean?
Are you eating a mouse?
You know, I...
Your own poop...
Um... I poop, right?
And I...
Normal people would flush their poop if they pooped.
Dogs' poop can last for quite a long time.
It can.
So, once, you know, you all pooped at home,
and you didn't flush it, you didn't throw it away, and you left it on the balcony somewhere.
That's one kind of "division".
Huh? What?
That's not poop, it's one kind of "division".
Let me think about it and ask you.
I see.
So, if you leave your dog's poop on the balcony for a long time,
it gradually becomes a dog.
So, before you flush it, don't walk out of the balcony.
It's because your dog is coming in.
Is that what you mean by "dog"?
Idiot!
So, for this match,
Hamada's team has 8 points and Matsumoto's team has 0 points.
8-0, and Hamada's team wins!
But it's still 0 points!
Let's do a draw.
Huh? A draw?
You said it!
You finally said it!
No, no, no, listen to me!
So, which was it before?
I don't know!
Let's do a draw.
A draw!
OK!
Be careful of your nose.
Go straight ahead.
Be careful of your nose.
It's big.
Let's go! Let's go!