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I'm the boss of Gaki no Tsukai Arahende!
Next time on Gaki no Tsukai Arahende...
I'm the boss of Hetare Yamazaki Imechin Project!
Today, Hetare Yamazaki...
- Well, in terms of his popularity... - That's right.
He's completely underestimated.
A high schooler like him came up to me and said...
Give me my money back.
I didn't say anything like "Stop it!"
I said "Give me my money back."
Someone said "You're embarrassing me."
He was suddenly underestimated by a woman.
Yamazaki of my team said...
Hey, you're on a show in downtown.
Yes, yes. Yay, yay, yay!
He said "Wow!"
He said "Would you like to have sex with me?"
What? I've never done that before.
Sure, why not?
Okay, let's do it.
I'm touching your boobs right now.
Ka-chunk!
That's no good!
That's what Yamazaki meant.
So in this opening...
I'll show you where I'm strong...
And I'll make you strong, Yamazaki!
Here's the woman.
Yamazaki of my team.
Everything you've said so far is the truth.
There's no exaggeration.
You used to be a bully, didn't you?
No, it's not like that.
When I was in middle school, I was really...
A boss?
I was a boss.
No, I wasn't a boss, I was an outcast.
You're lying.
No, I'm serious about this.
I don't know anymore.
An outcast...
I don't know.
So if I go back to the countryside now,
people will say, "Ho-chan, you've become round."
They'll say that.
The Outcast
Good morning!
Excuse me, do you have a cigarette?
You're lying.
Excuse me.
Are you kidding me?
Oh, excuse me.
I was watching a movie today.
It's none of your business!
I'm sorry.
I think you're apologizing to everyone.
Apologize to everyone.
I'm sorry.
Do you have a cigarette?
A cigarette?
You're lying.
Oh, yes, I understand.
I'll get it for you later, after you eat.
Okay.
You're late.
You should've told me.
You're late.
You should've done that.
Are you leaving soon?
Can I have a cigarette?
What are you doing?
Hey!
Go!
I told you.
You're late.
Get out of here.
Are you kidding me?
Go!
I told you.
Go!
What do you want?
Get out of here!
What do you want?
Get out of here!
What do you want?
What did you just say?
What do you want?
Get out!
What do you want?
Get out of here!
What's wrong with you?
I'll go.
Go ahead and leave.
What?
Go ahead and leave.
I'll go!
Don't you want to go?
Well...
Hey!
What's up with you guys?
Hey!
Shut up!
Shut up, you!
Hey! You guys!
What's up with you?
You've been doing nothing but...
Shut up!
What's up with you? Who are you?
Who are you?!
Hey!
What's up with you guys? You've been doing nothing but...
Hey, you cold-hearted bastards!
I told you, didn't I?!
Hey, get up, you guys! Get up!
Get up, you guys!
Hurry up and get up!
Come on, don't do it anymore!
Hey, get up, come on!
Hurry up and get up!
Get up!
You guys are really strong!
Are you going to do it?!
Hey, hold this.
Hey!
Are you going to serve?
Hey!
Get up! Hurry up and get up!
Hurry up and get up, you guys!
Are you done?!
There's still a lot of us left, Genji!
Who is it?
Who are you?
You...
What are you doing?
More slowly, please.
What...
What are you doing?
What does that mean?
I don't know.
Watch out.
Watch out for what?
I don't know what you're talking about, but don't touch me.
Don't hit me.
Don't hit me?
Watch out.
Watch out? Watch out, watch out.
Watch out, watch out.
What is that?
Huh?
Hey.
Hey!
Hey, you!
You...
Again!
Hey, who are you doing it for, you bastard?!
What are you going to do, you bastard?!
You!
Raise your head, you bastard!
You, bastard!
You bastard!
What is it?!
hashtag...
Ana Gura!
How did you sign up for this?!
OK. OK. OK.
Yuya Yamamatsu...
You idiot.
Hey!
You just said you were going to the newspaper office and bang your head like this, didn't you?
Hey!
You said you were going, didn't you? You said you were going, didn't you?
What's up with you?
Huh?
What's up with you?
Stop it! Stop it!
Ladies and gentlemen...
I hope you're all doing well.
You're not old enough to scream like that.
Why is that?
It's miso soup.
Oh, miso soup.
Come to think of it, you're...
May! Huh? What month is it now?
April.
It's April.
What day is it in April?
21st.
It's April 21st.
It's still cold.
What are you saying?
There's something you're saying.
It's May.
It's May and you're already 30.
That's right.
You're so cool.
I can't believe you're 30 years old.
Your style has been getting popular again lately.
No, I'm not getting popular.
It's just a little short.
It seems like you're conscious of something.
Oh, bodyguard.
What is it?
Oh, you want to do it?
You're being targeted by all kinds of things.
Well, well, well.
I just caught some information that you're trying to be funny.
It's true.
You should be careful.
People say that a lot these days.
I always say that I'm fine.
Oh, you do?
Actually, I really don't have one.
I'd like to have a meeting with you next Sunday.
Why?
That's too soon!
I'd like to have a meeting with you next Sunday.
I saw you in the dressing room earlier.
Are you kidding me?!
Get out of my way and get out of my way!
People say that comedians marry amateurs.
Oh, is that so?
Yes.
Somehow...
But you're ugly.
But it's not like that.
It's not like that.
People say it like you do.
People say that comedians marry amateurs.
Don't they?
And me...
Well, when things get like this...
Matsumoto will do it for you!
Like, "Whoa!"
Whatever comes up.
Right, right, right, right.
And people say that.
So I'm going to tell you something serious.
I'm going to say you're about forty years old.
But if you say that, no one's going to say anything.
No, I'll say it!
Even if the world doesn't say it, I'll say it!
Even if you say it, it's only been a few years.
It's been five years, and things have happened.
Oh, it hurts here.
My arms don't go up.
That's too old-fashioned!
Things have happened.
What kind of woman has her arms up for five years?!
She's a comedian who was born with five years!
That's a weird way of saying it.
She's a comedian who was born with five years!
But I can't stand it when people laugh at me!
You're a woman in your forties who doesn't laugh at you!
You're worse than a woman!
That's true, but she's not pretty!
It's okay! She just came out of nowhere!
She's a woman in her forties who doesn't laugh at you!
No, no, no...
Right?!
That's difficult...
She's a woman in her forties who doesn't laugh at you!
She cut out that part of the interview!
That's obvious!
She came out of nowhere!
I look at the picture of her and she's an ugly woman!
That's not what you said!
I said "this picture is awful!"
You've never seen it yourself, have you?
What do you mean "this picture is awful?"
Is it because of that guy's skill?
No, no!
- You're just saying... - I mean...
- You know what they say about "photography?" - I do...
That's what you're saying! "This picture is awful!"
Even so...
What?
You don't have to say it like that!
By saying it like that...
Wait a minute!
What?
What are you looking at?
I'm sorry!
Wait a minute!
By saying that, think about who will benefit!
Will Nan-chan benefit? She won't!
If I'm next to her, I won't benefit either!
Why won't you benefit?
The reporter will be in trouble!
Why is that?
Even if you bring it and edit it, you shouldn't cut where you don't want it, so you'll be in trouble!
Even the old man who developed the photo thinks I'm bad!
Bad...
Even if you press the shutter of the camera, you'll say "Am I bad?"
Bad...
Even if you press the shutter of the camera, you'll say "Am I bad?"
Right?!
No one will benefit!
Why do you say that no one will benefit?!
That's what I don't understand!
Ah, I see, I see...
And then...
Every day, every day, the people you meet...
It's getting worse and worse...
It's hard for me to see it get worse and worse...
Ah, I see...
That's why, ever since we met, you've been depressed!
That's stupid!
There's no fun in that!
You...
Usually you're depressed!
But I asked again today, and this is... this is... Conan's pain.
But this is Conan's good.
Isn't it good?
Huh?
Aren't you used to smiling?
When we first met, we were both young, and you could go anywhere.
But now you've gone too far!
You're limiting yourself!
You can't do that!
Everyone's laughing at me again!
You've been in the strife zone since you were 12!
Shut up!
I'm not 12!
So you've been in the upper strife zone.
No, I haven't.
To be honest, there's only one woman older than me.
And she's one year older than me.
She's one year older than me, and she has a husband.
Well, there's been a lot of things.
It's so good!
It's good! You've never been to Oregon!
It's so good!
That's the only thing I know about you.
But now you're over 40 and you can't say yes?
No, I mean...
It's disgusting for young people to say yes.
They think you have a different skin tone or you're an old man.
It's disgusting.
Shut up! If you say that, I'll leave you like that!
You're like a policeman who came out of a madhouse.
I'm scared of doing things like this.
I'm not a kid.
I'm sorry.
You even remember kids?
Um...
So...
Don't ask for that.
Don't think about sexual problems at all.
No, I... Just leave me alone.
So...
Machan, electric shock!
Two-time Usagi Doshi
You're the one who came up with that title.
You can't handle it, old woman.
I'm pretty popular with old ladies.
Oh, really?
I'm popular with young ladies.
Stop it.
Then my mother is cute.
That's my son!
If you kick me like that...
I'll be sad.
Calm down and say something.
That's tough.
I'm human and I have flaws.
Like you suddenly became a parasite.
It's not like that.
I was nervous.
Really?
You've known it since elementary school.
I don't think so.
You can't do it.
You can't do it right away.
Even if you go to a woman's house...
Closing...
Closet! Yes!
I won't admit it.
I really don't know.
From the closet...
Is anyone hiding?
There are people like that.
Is anyone hiding?
I won't admit it.
I won't admit it!
I'm too pretty.
I'm scared of myself like that.
You're a friend.
Pigeons often come to my school's playground.
There's something on the beak of a pigeon.
What is that?
Isn't it a hole?
Well, you know, if you hit it once, it's dangerous.
What's dangerous about it?
Huh?
See, you hit it twice, right?
Yeah.
And you know, I used to do that in elementary school.
You know, this guy here.
You push it like this.
And it pops out.
What's that?
It's a switch.
If you push it like this, you have to push both at the same time.
Oh, you hit it once, so you have to push it twice.
If you hit it only once,
even if you try to fly over here,
it pops out like this.
If you try to fly over here,
it's like this.
And if you push it at the same time,
you have to push it back.
Does it fly about 50 meters?
50 meters?
No, it doesn't fly that far.
No, no, it doesn't fly that far.
About 50 centimeters.
It pops out like this.
It's said to be the ultimate weapon.
Of course, of course, of course.
Everyone, please try it once.
Here's a question about blades.
Some people have blades and some people don't,
and some people can only use blades to cut wood,
and some people can't even cut wood without blades.
What are you talking about?
If you have blades,
what other uses are they worth using?
If you know, please let me know.
If you don't have blades,
why didn't you all unify?
Well, that's the point.
If you don't have blades,
why didn't you all unify?
If you don't have blades,
why didn't you all unify?
If you don't have blades,
why didn't you all unify?
If you don't have blades,
Please tell me how to do it.
That's what you want to do.
That's weird, isn't it?
There are two types of people with blades.
People with blades are people who fight.
To fight.
Have you said it before?
OK!
But you all know it, so you don't have to say it.
People with kids and blades are people who hunt.
People with blades are people who hunt tigers.
It's scary, isn't it?
It's scary.
It's scary, isn't it?
People with blades are people who hunt and cook.
So people with blades are people who fight.
Can you say that?
Yes.
You idiot!
The swordsmen of the past were very...
Fighting style.
The swordsmen of the past were very...
Fighting style.
Are you an old man or a young man?
Don't say it with your eyes! You're writing it too!
It's like you're only talking about me!
What's up with you?
I'm asking you when you started calling me "old man" and "aunt", right?
By the way, are you two old men or young men?
What's up with you?
But...
If you're in elementary school, of course you'd say something like that, right?
By age, how old would you say you are?
Of course you'd say you're in your 30s.
30 is the standard, right?
Yes, yes.
One foot in front of the door of an old man...
And...