AISubs v3.4
I'm standing in front of the one-way crossing sign.
I've just caught Hamada-san from downtown being in that hotel over there...
...and I'm in a state of tension right now, but I'd like to hear the truth about you and Natsumi- san...
Ah, there he is! Hamada-san! Hamada-san!
Hamada-san! Please let me ask you something!
What is it?
Is it true that Natsumi Ogawa is good at Ferati?
No, you have nothing to do with it!
T-then what is it?!
Which song is it?!
T-then show me, you idiot!
Is it true that Natsumi Ogawa's nipples are black?!
T-then show me!
Y-you have nothing to do with it!
Did you hit me?! Did you hit me?! I'm going to hit you!
Hamada-san! Please let me ask you something!
What is it?! Which song is it?!
W-what is it?!
What show is it?!
W-w-what is it?!
W-what show is it?!
Why do you have the nerve to say something like that, you idiot?!
It's "Ruku Ruku Konnichiwa"!
Shut up! "Ruku Ruku" is already over!
Please let me ask you something!
"Ruku Ruku" is already in the press conference!
Y-you're covering your face...
What is it?!
...and making Sunoda-san pay for it! Is it true?!
That's your own business!
What is it?!
You! Don't film me!
Ah, you idiot!
Shut up, you idiot! You!
You! What are you doing, you idiot?!
Ah! Hamada-san, Natsumi Ogawa's nipples are black!
They're not black!
What are you saying?!
Hamada-san, don't come near me!
Hamada-san?!
You! Don't do things like that!
As you requested, Hamada-san agreed to everything.
I'm glad.
Ladies and Gentlemen.
Good evening.
Well, actually, we were supposed to do a skit here, but...
Yes.
All of a sudden, a lot of things happened, and we changed the subject...
What do you mean, "all of a sudden"? We haven't done a skit in a while.
No, we've stopped calling ourselves "dandan" from now on.
Really?
Yes, um... "married men", "married men".
I'm thinking of doing one from now on.
Oh, you're talking like you're from today.
That's right.
You know, it's not good to give up so easily.
Is that so?
Just now, I had a letter in my hand, and I opened it up, and it said "congratulations" at first.
That's weak.
Well, keep up the good work in Tokyo.
"Well", you say!
What kind of reading is that?
You say "well" to letters, even when you're sick!
Come on! Come on!
To be honest with you, this show is taking a bit of time off, right?
But we're actually shooting this Tuesday.
Yeah, we're supposed to air it next week.
But we're shifting it to next year.
You don't have to do that! Just air it as it is!
Today's episode will air next week.
Today's episode will air like I've been chased by a reporter.
Don't go that far! It's a waste of time!
But it's warmer than you think, right?
No, it's my first time seeing you like this.
Yeah.
I had a hard time too.
I knew about it because we're partners.
You know, I gave you an order in October.
But the company told me it was top secret.
Don't tell anyone!
But you knew about the staff members?
Yeah, I knew about it.
But you know, the staff members are like the reporters on "YU-YA" and "NITTERE".
They're quiet enough to get some "YU-YA" from those celebrities.
I was quiet about it to my best friend, Yuan.
Anyway, you two are a little weird.
What? What's weird about us?
You know, in Osaka celebrities say "it hurts" to their weak spots.
But you two "it hurts"!
It's not cool at all!
I tried so hard not to say it to anyone.
I'm pretty proud of you.
We took the Shinkansen from Osaka to Tokyo together.
What do you think I'm saying?
I didn't say anything!
Shut up!
What's wrong with you?
We didn't take it with us.
You know, there are a lot of "shadow" girls in Osaka.
They run up to me and say "Mr. Hamada, what's wrong with you?"
We took the same Shinkansen together and we're wearing the same clothes!
That's what you mean by "it hurts" to your weak spots!
It doesn't hurt at all!
It doesn't, but...
I thought it wouldn't last long.
But like you said, we didn't try that hard.
Because we're wearing a pair of lockers today.
What are you talking about?
We're wearing lockers today and...
What kind of lockers are you talking about?
We're wearing the same lockers and we're sitting side by side and we're like...
What's wrong with you?
It hurts!
No, it doesn't!
You're going to get caught!
I don't know why I got caught!
I don't know why I got caught! It's because your dad is sick!
All of my family members are sick!
Your dad loves writing, doesn't he?
But if you ask him about it, he'll say it's not true.
That's right.
I'm sure it came from somewhere else.
What?
Like, when my dad talked about it.
Yeah, Go's dad. He's a weatherman.
Um...
Um... what was it?
He was bragging about painting the Soviet Union during the bombing.
That's a little weird.
Hey, do you know about the Soviet Union during the bombing?
It was red and white back in the day.
It was like this.
They painted it, didn't they?
You only have two colors.
Anyone can do it.
You're a fool! It's huge!
It's like this from above.
Can you paint it so beautifully like this?
When I gathered my co-workers and told them not to talk about marriage,
they said, "Tomorrow is a TV show about the Soviet Union."
My co-workers said, "Why?"
And I said, "My son is getting married!"
That was a different story, wasn't it, Siri?
It was a lie, but...
Well, you know, I thought it was really bad.
What?
Since October 1st until now,
I've been saying, "Oh, poor thing."
I thought you didn't know anything.
Well, you know...
I mean, everyone knows you're not a virgin, right?
This is amazing, right?
At this stage?
At this stage.
It's even worse!
But at least you know it's not true.
At this stage...
You never know.
You never know!
You're black, aren't you?
I'm not 100% sure you're wrong.
You don't say it often.
But you're not wrong.
You're not wrong, either.
What do you mean?
Huh?
What do you mean?
How many girls do you have?
But it's a shame, isn't it?
You're only 26 years old.
What made you so busy?
Well, there's a lot of things.
Like what?
Well, there's a lot of things.
I wasn't in a hurry.
There's a lot of things?
Ha-ha.
Like this.
That's not bad, but...
Why is it not bad?
Huh?
Why is it not bad?
What's wrong with it?
Why is it not bad?
What's wrong with it?
Why is it not bad?
Huh?
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
It doesn't matter what you say.
Well, I heard about it.
I knew you were married.
But I didn't know you were called "P-chan" at home.
I was so embarrassed. My back was broken.
What did you say "P-chan"?!
What did I say?
I was so embarrassed.
What's wrong with you?
I know you are called "P-chan" at home.
When I'm with my girlfriend, everyone calls me "Matsumoto-kun".
And my girlfriend is hard.
Like "Matsumoto-kun".
Or "Matsumoto-shi".
You wrote it in your book, didn't you?
It's "Matsumoto-shi", isn't it?
But you were silent, too.
About what?
About what you wanted to say today.
I'm really hard.
I'm harder than "Gorgo XIII".
I never say it.
But you two are soft.
That's fine.
I thought it was amazing that they didn't come out of their homes.
They usually go somewhere.
The world is really cold.
I was doing a radio show in Osaka yesterday.
It's pretty late at night, but there are quite a few fans in the middle of the cold mountains.
When you go in.
That's right.
I was wondering how many people were there at my party yesterday.
I got in the car and looked around and there were only two people.
It's less than usual.
We're completely separated now.
That's right.
Did you see it in the morning?
I did it the night before, didn't I?
I talked about it.
The next morning at ten o'clock at Yoshimoto Kaikan.
I was at work.
I got out of the taxi and got off with my manager.
Then a reporter came and said congratulations.
I got off and saw a woman outside.
You're lying!
She was screaming and shouting.
You're lying!
I was talking and she was around me.
You're lying!
It was amazing.
I was watching it.
I guess you can't cheat anymore.
I can't cheat anymore.
I see.
I guess you don't like girls when you're married.
That's right.
What do you think?
I don't care.
You don't care?
I don't care.
I won't get angry again.
But in a certain sense, for a fan,
I don't know if it's because you're married, but you're calm, so you're relieved.
What do you mean?
You're calm, so you're relieved. You're under surveillance, so you're relieved.
But if you're not married and you're too excited, you can't be relieved.
That's what you're saying, too. You're shaking.
What?
You're shaking.
No, I'm not shaking at all.
What did you say?
You...
That's nice.
Go over there and shake.
I've been writing all the fan letters lately.
Matsumoto-san says, "Don't blame me until you're 30."
But I'm not like that at all.
You'll be 10 years older.
Oh, really?
Yes. The woman you're looking at is in elementary school.
How do you know that elementary school student?
Where can I meet an elementary school student?
Well, you know...
I hope you're happy.
Let me introduce you.
Please come this way.
She's your assistant for today.
She's pretty today, too.
She came out of this program and recruited me.
How old are you?
I'm 22.
22 years old.
She's not very young.
You're an amateur, aren't you?
You've never done this kind of work before, have you?
This is my first time.
You have the courage to wear a swimsuit in a place like this.
Who was your fan before?
The day before yesterday, Hana-chan.
Well, you never know what's going on in the world.
Well, I'll see you later.
Thank you.
Later!
He's brave, isn't he?
If he were a model or something like that, he'd be fine in public.
Yes, yes, yes.
Well, let me introduce you, Hana-chan and Hana- chan.
What do you two do on your days off?
That's a simple question.
And what about your days off?
What's that supposed to mean?
What about your days off?
Just leave me alone!
Well, I've got a letter for you.
But I'm sleeping in until evening.
With who?
Who do you think I'm sleeping with? I'm sleeping alone.
Until evening.
You're sleeping alone?
Yes.
You're not sleeping together?
Huh?
There's no newlyweds like you.
What do you mean?
You're sleeping together, aren't you?
Huh?
Are you sleeping apart like a woman who's 18 years old?
She's pretty young, isn't she?
Why are you sleeping apart like that?
Well, sometimes and sometimes not.
What do you mean "sometimes and sometimes not"?
Hey, shut up!
Let's move on.
She's from Yokohama City and her pen name is Frillman.
That's right.
It's over, isn't it, Frillman?
It was a fun show.
Yes, it is.
Why did it end?
I don't know. I didn't get my number.
Now...
I don't know who gave me my number.
It's a story I saw on "Juniors Itsuka".
Well, I thought about it.
Matsumoto-san has fans coming to his house.
It's because Matsumoto-san is kind and even if he's angry, he's not violent, isn't it?
When Hamada-san is angry, he seems to be beaten up.
And since he knows her presence, he can't enter his house, can he?
Well, it's like that.
I'm sorry, but did you know about that number?
Why?
Because you're kind or something like that.
No, no, it's nothing like that.
What's with you?
But in the future...
There's definitely going to be a curse or something like that.
But you've done a lot of things, haven't you?
Well, I haven't said it before, but if I did say it,
it would come up again and I'd say, "Well, I'll try it too."
So I didn't say it much.
Especially since I haven't said it in Osaka.
The thing I hated the most until now was...
Well...
When I got home tired and didn't sleep much because of work for two days,
I thought, "Today I'm going to sleep at home!"
So I was sleeping all by myself.
At about two in the morning...
Ooooh, can-can-can-can-can!
Is there a fire somewhere?
Ooooh, can-can-can-can-can!
It started getting closer and closer.
It was on the tenth floor of my apartment.
It was really noisy.
I thought, "This is a big fire!"
So I opened the door and looked down.
There were firefighters lining up!
Oh, in your apartment?
That's right!
Where is it?! Is it above or below?
Is this an apartment or not?!
I thought, and firetrucks started coming up.
Ooooh, can-can-can-can!
The firefighters came up and said,
Oh, it's you, Mr. Matsumoto!
I-it's a fire, isn't it?!
Yes!
I'm sorry!
We have news!
And people started coming in!
Firefighters came up to the windows of my house!
That's unusual!
It was unusual!
Wow...
How should I put it...
Damn it!
You called me because you thought I'd let firefighters in, didn't you?!
That's right!
For now...
That's right!
If you come in through the window, you'll scare them!
That's right!
Firefighters came up and said,
No, you're wrong!
Then firefighters came up and said, "You can't cut it, can you?!"
Of course!
Even though it didn't mean anything...
Even though I didn't do anything wrong...
They came up and said, "Wow!"
And then at night...
Can-can-can!
And I was like, "Oh, my God!"
I couldn't sleep for a while.
Do you want to go to Osaka Bay?
To Osaka Bay...
I know you're wearing a leather jacket like this...
But I don't know if it'll decrease from now on...
Because of things like this...
But it'll increase for you, won't it?!
What are you talking about?!
I'm sure you think I'll still be popular even if I get married.
But if you say you understand now...
It's impossible! Our staff has been saying for a while now... "No, you can't do it anymore, Hamada- chan!"
If it was the staff, they'd say "No, it's not like that!"
Hamada-san's family...
There are people like that!
So for now, it's fine if you don't raise it.
- Is that so? - Isn't it?
And then...
Ah, that's right! And then...
When I heard my friends talking about it...
Ucchan and Nanchan were also interviewing me.
- Oh, really? - Yeah.
- "Oh, you know about it?" - Yeah.
So I asked them, "How is it? Are you interested in it?"
But Nanchan still doesn't know what she's saying...
It's like Nemiminemizu!
Hey, you! Don't say it like that!
I don't know what you're talking about!
With Ucchan's pitiful face, she still doesn't know what you're talking about!
But Nanchan...
She practiced her pronunciation properly!
Well, Nanchan and I have known each other for a long time.
We've talked about a lot of things!
But she doesn't know half of it!
Don't act like you know half of it!
I don't know what you're talking about, but it's fine!
Sometimes...
Huh?
Oh, you don't?
Ah, but it's not like that!
It's like Nemiminemizu!
Now I'd like to talk about Osaka dialect.
I'm thinking of ending Osaka dialect today.
- Oh, is that so? - Yeah.
When I'm older, I'll think of something new.
- That's right. - Yeah.
Today...
There are a lot of "gotsui" things.
For example, "hosoi" things.
- "Hosoi." - Yeah.
"Hosoi" means both Osaka and Osaka dialects.
- "Hosoi." - "Hosoi."
Hey! "Kanarihosoi" things...
- "Gotsuihosoi." - You say "gotsuihosoi," right?
I think you all know by now.
But even more than that...
What do you say?
In Tokyo, people say...
Huh? What do you say about 'gotsuihosoi'?
- "Chohosoi." - "Sugoihosoi?"
Sugoihosoi?
What do you say?
Chohosoi!
"This is "chohosoi"!"
We don't say "chohosoi."
We say "chohosoi."
In Osaka, we say "chohosoi."
- My teacher is a "chohosoi" teacher. - "Chohosoi" teacher!
- "Gotsuihosoi." - "Gotsuihosoi."
On top of that...
You say "chohosoi," but what do you say "mottohosoi"?
What do you say?
Sugoihosoi!
- Oh, I see. - Yeah.
- Osaka people... - "Osakahosoi," "gotsuihosoi."
And then...
Monogotsuihosoi!
- "Monogotsuihosoi!" - "Monogotsuihosoi!"
- Right? - Right?
- This is pretty common. - Oh, I see.
"Monogotsuiho" today...
- I'd like you to remember it. - Right. - I see. - Right? - Yes. - So it's fine for today. - Yes, it's fine. - Yes. - What do you want me to say? - What do you want me to say back? - Right. What do you want me to say back? - When we say "thin things", you say... - "Thin". - Huh? - Why? - Huh? - "Quite thin things". - "Thick and thin". - "Thick and thin". - "Very, very thin". - "Monogotsuiho". - "Monogotsuiho". - "Monogotsuiho", right? - Yes. - Yes. - Then...
- Can you say it again? - Yes. - "Thin things" is... - "Quite energetic". - What? - "Thin". - Today, Hamada's fans are gathering... - Why? - It's irrelevant. - "Thin things" is... - "Thin". - Say it properly. - "Quite thin things" is... - "Quite thin things". - Be energetic! - "Very, very thin things" is... - "Quite thin things". - Hey, you! - Thank you very much. - You're welcome.
You know, for years and years, I've wanted to do a story like this.
A play on words!
- But you know, today... - I know, right?
- This is... - Well...
- It can't be helped. - Once you say it, it's like this, right?
- It's fine like this, right? - That's right.
I think we'll probably break up next year or next December.
Well, we're both stupid, you know?
You know?
Ha! Ha!
- But, you know, if it's a joke, it might be funny, right? - It's a joke.
Oh, it's funny! Oh, it's funny!
- No matter how funny it is, it's a joke. - That's right.
- Next year, I'd like to... - Yeah.
- ...do a story like this again. - That's right.
- So, like you said, "Yonawareru" will be released next year, right? - Yes.
- I'd like to show it off in front of you all. - Yeah.
- "Toshiage Ippatsu" will be released once a week, right? - That's right.
- From the next week... - From the 9th of July.
- Yes.
- It'll be the same as usual. - It'll be the same as usual.
- That's right. - Yeah.
- You might like it, right? - Huh?
- "Toshiage Ippatsu" will suddenly change again and you might like it... - You're stupid!
- If it's like this, it'll be funny, you know?
Ha! Ha!
- So, like you said, "Yonawareru" will be released again next January 9th! - That's right.
- Goodbye! - Goodbye!