AISubs v3.4
- Good evening. - Good evening.
- What month is it? - It's the opening, isn't it? - It's the opening.
- It's strange. Last week I heard it was going to end. - Hey, you, turn off the screen!
- Why are you gathering things like this? It's warm, isn't it? - Don't shout!
- You know... - Yes? - It's not colder than a kotatsu in an electric washing machine, is it?
- This is the coldest, isn't it? - I prepared a kotatsu just for this.
- Wow, it's cold, it's cold. - I heard it was going to end today, but it's not like that.
- It's a long walk, isn't it? - Yes, it is. - Look at this. It's a nice house.
- It's a car. - Look behind you. It's funny, isn't it?
- It's cold. - Oh, come on!
- It's water waves! - Here, here.
- It's water waves. - Hamadayama Hall. You guys are dangerous.
- Hey! - Come on, come on, come on! You shouldn't do this!
- You're crazy. - Come on!
- Oh, it's warm. - It's warm.
- Now, which one should I take off? - I see...
- Here, here, here... - Are you a woman?
- Look at this. - What was it? - What's that?
- The one with water waves. - It's wet with water waves and turned out like this.
- You should have told me. - Did you steal it? You guys!
- The staff here! - Today...
- We're not going to make use of it. - Yes, yes, yes. - From Hamadayama...
- From Hamadayama Hall... - Yes. - Please come in. - Thank you! - Yes.
- Thank you! - Thank you!
The Terrorist
- Oshika! - Yes!
- Everyone! - Yes!
- Today... - Yes!
- There was information that the terrorist had a shield here! - What?!
- You don't know what kind of scary guy he is! - Yes!
- You have to kill him! - Understood!
- But you don't have to see it! - Yes!
- Today, you'll be working with me! - Thank you!
- Is it your first job? - Yes!
- You must have pressed the time card properly! - No...
- Time card? - Yes!
- Is it your first job? - I'm a little nervous!
- I'm a veteran detective! - Yes!
- If there's anything I can steal from you, you can steal it from me! - Yes!
- Actually, it's weird to steal from a detective! - Yes!
- Let's do our best! - Thank you!
- But you have to give me a nickname! - What?!
- You have to give me a nickname! - A nickname?!
- Yes! - Why do you want me to give you a nickname?
- Of course! Even if the sun shines down on you, you'll still have a nickname! - Yes!
- Ah, you're right! - If you don't give me a nickname, it won't start!
- Like "g-pan" or "texas"! - How about it?!
- Huh?! - How about it?!
- "How about it?!"
- What's your name? - Hamada!
- See, this is it! Hamada! - Yes!
- Whenever you get something... Hamada!
- It's hard for you to say it! - I can say it now, but I can't say it when I'm nervous!
- You can say "Hamada", not "Hamada"! - What's his last name? - Masatoshi. - Masatoshi! - Hamada! Masatoshi! - I can't say it at all!
- You can say it clearly! - I can't say it at all!
- Everyone, I'll give you a reward! - You can say "Hamada"! - You don't like it? - You don't like it?
- I like to watch records. - What else? - I'm young, but I like to play bonsai. - You like to watch records and play bonsai? - Yes!
- Okay, you're in! - Yes! - You're in! - You're in! - Nice to meet you! - Yes! - I like you better! - But where is the culprit? - The culprit is here!
- You're here! - What do you mean? - This position is hard to get, so change it! - Right now! - I won't let you. - Come off it! - You idiot! - Stop it, record man! - What's wrong with you?! Come off it! - Come off it! - What's wrong with you?! - Don't you dare come closer! - Okay. - I'm nervous. - Don't come any closer!
TAMEROU! I'll kill you!
Hit him!
Tamerou!
Tamerou! Don't be afraid!
TAMEROU! I'll kill you with one shot!
TAMEROU! I'll kill you with two shots!
TAMEROU!
I'll kill you with one shot!
I can't get enough of this poker face!
Is this a conversation between a detective and a criminal?
Stop it!
Don't come any closer!
Put down your weapon!
Don't come any closer or I'll shoot you!
All right!
Look!
As you can see, I have round pockets.
Where are you going?!
Don't come any closer or I'll shoot you!
Round pockets!
Don't come any closer!
Put down your weapon!
If you move, I'll shoot you!
What?!
If you move, I'll shoot you!
Put down your weapon!
I'll shoot you!
If you move, I'll shoot you!
What?!
Do you think I'm scared of you?!
If you can shoot, I'll shoot you!
Don't come any closer!
You're a detective with round pockets who moves when you move!
You're despicable!
Put down your weapon!
Don't come any closer or I'll shoot you!
I'll shoot you!
You're messing with the tape!
No, I'm not!
I can't shoot you!
I'll shoot you!
Put down your weapon!
I'll shoot you!
Stop it!
Don't come any closer or I'll shoot you!
I'll shoot you!
Don't come any closer or I'll shoot you!
I'll shoot you!
Don't do that disgusting thing!
What's going on?!
You're a scary guy!
It's you!
There's no helping it. It's a good strategy.
Who are you talking about?!
Nobody knows!
We have no choice but to go with the plan.
I don't know!
You.
What?
That!
What is "that"?
What?
That!
I wouldn't know!
Do you know "soure carpet"?
What?
Wrong! Do you know "russian roulette"?
Not at all!
"russian roulette" and "go through the carpet"?
This gun has only one bullet in it.
I don't know where it is.
Let's aim at each other and shoot one by one.
How about this kind of rule that bad luck will die?
It's fine. It's funny.
You go first.
Why me?
The first shot is less likely.
Go ahead.
It's really scary.
Next round it will be dangerous.
You bastard!
Even smoke is coming out of you!
Next round it will be dangerous!
You bastard!
Die already! How many times have I told you?
Next time you will die.
Stop it!
What?
Next round it will be a real man-to-man battle.
What?
What do you mean?
What do you want me to do?
Stand facing your back, walk forward and kick.
Stop it!
I'm serious!
Stop it!
Cut it out.
Stop it!
Don't cut it out!
Stand facing your back, walk forward and kick.
Calm down.
Stand facing your back!
What do you want me to do?
Next round it will be a real man-to-man battle.
Who are you talking about?
I'm not talking about you.
I'm talking about you.
Let's do it.
Let's do it!
Stand facing your back, walk forward and kick.
Stop it!
It's not normal for a man-to-man battle.
Stop it!
It's not normal for a man-to-man battle.
Do you understand?
Yes.
Walk, right?
Yes.
Walk, right?
Yes.
To be clear, you are risking your life, aren't you?
More or less.
No, you are risking more or less!
Be clear! Walk?
Yes, mostly.
No!
Why do you have "mostly" and "more or less" to compete with this world?
Say "walk"! Walk!
Walk.
Walk, right?
Walk.
Walk?
Walk.
Yes.
What do you mean "walk"?
Be clear! Walk!
What do you mean "walk"?
Walk.
Walk, right?
Yes.
Walk!
Yes, right?
Yes!
Okay, let's go! One, two...
I said "two", didn't I?
Walk!
Didn't you say "walk"?!
I was trying to think of something and couldn't figure it out.
Sorry!
Ouch!
I said "walk"!
Hey!
Yes?
Am I going to die?
Even if you ask me?
Can I ask you one last question?
Go ahead!
What did I do?
What did I do?!
Die!
What did I do?! I didn't do anything!
What did I do, you bastard?!
What did I do?!
But you ran away when you saw me, didn't you?!
I was just jogging, you bastard!
Come on, jump!
Jump!
What did you say?!
Jump!
What did I do, you bastards?!
You're still sleeping, woman!
Go home!
What did I do? What did I do?
You're terrible!
What did I do?
Now the case is solved!
Thank you very much!
Today's skit was pretty good, wasn't it?
It was good, wasn't it?
It's funny no matter where you do it.
It's a big hit every month.
We always do it with four people.
That's right, we do it with two people.
We do it with two people.
So, when we say, "The next one is a good strategy," we really say it like that.
That's right, that's right.
We say, "That's right," but no one says it for us, so we say it in our hearts.
Because you're next to me.
It was tough.
Ah, no, no.
The other day, I took a taxi here.
I asked the taxi driver to take me to Tokyo Station.
Again, there's that taxi rumor.
That's right, that's right.
There's a lot of them.
I'm sure you've seen it on TV, so it's hard for me to say it, but he was a very cheerful person.
I asked him to take me to Tokyo Station, and he said, "Ah, I've seen it. It's 'Downtown Thunder.'"
Did you really say it like that?
It's so loud. It's so loud.
It's 'Downtown Thunder.'
I've seen it.
"Ah, thank you for today," he said.
Ah, it's the best, 'Downtown Thunder'!
Now, you know, I'm not saying it because there are customers on it.
I really like it!
Now, there are a lot of young people on it.
But!
Ah, 'Downtown Thunder' is the best!
Why is it so loud?
Ah, it's the best. 'Downtown Thunder' is the best.
That's enough, isn't it?
I'm sorry I can't hear you.
Ah, you're a driver.
I'm embarrassed, too.
No, it's not like that.
But...
All of a sudden...
Ah, I should have done this earlier.
But, you know, I can't think of anything.
But, you know, there's one thing that I can think of.
What is it?
Is it bad for me to say this?
Why are you saying that? I'm not interested in it.
Don't be angry with me.
Ah, your way of talking is...
Really? Really?
Eh?
Your way of talking is a little different.
Ah, really?
Ah, yes.
I think you should do it alone.
If you do it alone, you'll be the next Beat Takeshi!
Ah, yes, yes.
Is that so?
You've been talking about it all the time.
Ah, you know, it's not right for me to say bad things about you.
But, you know, you're a little tall.
You know, you're a little...
That's me!
Customers like it! Customers like how you say nasty things about your fans!
I totally disagree with you!
It's not that I'm unlucky or anything, it's just that I don't disagree with B-21.
I'm always right!
But it's rare for me to disagree with you two!
I'm such a weird old man!
Ah, customers...
Customers...
You can't say that about me!
Shall we introduce our fans?
Shall we?
Yes.
Ah, Kiyo.
Ah, hello.
You know, you were looking for an assistant, right?
And you've always had one.
That kind of person.
A cute person, right?
And you were looking for one, and for the first time you chose one and had one come to you.
Yeah...
You should be more surprised!
Whoa!
Yeah, you even sent me letters!
That's right!
L-Letters...
You've put them in a great place.
Ah, it's really warm.
You got this, right?
Yeah.
There's even a picture in it.
Yeah.
You should all send me letters like this!
I'll make sure you send me letters.
Yeah.
You know, you even wrote a resume for me like this.
Yeah, yeah.
Um... what is it?
Motivation for death.
Because I thought it would be interesting.
Are you mocking me?
Because I thought it would be interesting.
That's a bit of a problem.
Because I thought it would be interesting.
You know, you like downtown, right?
Which do you like more?
I like you.
Don't ask me that.
If Yone and Hamada were drowning, which would they drown in?
Yeah, which do you like more?
I like you.
You're crazy!
Your answer is always like that!
If I say "me", you'll go crazy!
You'll say it for sure!
Where...where is it?
Um...
What is it?
Your voice.
My voice?
Your voice is...
Don't underestimate me!
Your voice is good.
Oh, is that so?
Oh...
Hey!
What's with you?
Even though you've never said it before...
Well, well...
There's something called "do you like it or not?"
That's totally fine, you know.
Go, Acchan!
Hey!
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
Right?
Give him a round of applause.
Well, you know...
You've sent me a lot of cute toys.
I'm surprised, you know.
Yeah...
It's fun, isn't it?
Yes, yes.
Well, then, I'll introduce you to some toothpicks.
Kouta Kaben Kouta has been doing it for a while now.
It's not bad, but...
It's not that good, you know.
So...
What do you mean "so"?
Oh, like you say in Tokyo dialect...
So...
When you say "so"...
What do you say?
"Bye-bye"?
That's not how you say it!
So...
In Osaka...
"Hona"!
In Osaka, everyone says "hona".
"Hona"!
"Hoshitara"!
"Hoshitara", you know.
"Hoshitara", you say!
When you say "hona"...
That's not cool!
In Osaka, even when you die...
"Hona"...
You say it?!
Have you ever heard of it?!
Before you die...
"Hona", you say...
My grandfather said it in Osaka...
"Hoshitara", "mata"...
When did you say "mata"?
When you die, you say "hoshitara", "mata"...
Well, in that regard...
Do you have a little more time?
I think I do.
I haven't watched "u-ho" in a while.
"Mata"!
I haven't watched "u-ho" in a while.
I didn't have time to write it, really!
I'm on "u-ho" now.
I'm also on "u-ho" now.
Really, really.
And this time it's a pretty serious one, right?
From "nittere".
I feel sorry for you.
Please come!
I feel sorry for you.
"nittere" is already...
Why is it like this?
I can't write it.
It's not like that.
It seems like it's a serious show.
That's right.
That's right!
"u-ho" just flew in and threw up.
An alien is like this...
It's coming out of the disk...
And an alien is stabbing its back from behind...
Who would believe it?
If you watch it again... If you watch it again...
No one will believe it.
It's a disk-shaped "u-ho".
It just flew in.
A disk-shaped "u-ho"...
At that point it's already a disk, right?
There are many kinds of "u-ho" like "hamagi-gata" and so on.
It just flew in like "u-ho".
All of a sudden...
It flew diagonally.
Even with only three holes...
The water is empty!
What are you talking about?
It's funny, isn't it?
It's funny.
It's not funny!
I just remembered something.
I'm very proud of you.
You lied to me, so I said something like this.
I think you'll get an award for this.
Really.
This is for real.
In Tokyo...
Well, everywhere in Japan,
there's a lot of talk about parking problems.
Parking next to a road.
It's in the way!
So we thought of a way to fix it.
A way to fix parking problems?
That's right.
The road won't be congested anymore!
Never!
It won't be congested at all!
That's a good idea.
It's a good idea!
How?
Like this...
We'll make a car like this.
Like this...
A car like a beetle.
Even if you park next to a road...
You can't go up.
A car like this...
Even if you're five feet apart, you can still look up like this.
Do you have a problem with this?
I don't have a problem with it.
Ah!
I just thought of something.
What?
You know that roller coaster?
It's huge and...
You know?
It's like a playhouse.
The world's first fear experience!
You know?
Miracle Coaster!
That's what it says.
You know?
You have the eyes of a fool.
Miracle Coaster...
You know?
Only one person can ride it.
Even the driver can ride it.
I see.
It's like a roller coaster, isn't it?
Yes, yes.
What kind of experience is it? What kind of experience is it? It's pitch black.
It's just a small roller coaster. There's nothing special about a roller coaster.
It's small and you can just ride it.
You can just ride it.
That's right. When you start riding it, you feel like you're an actor.
Whoa! Get out of my way!
Get out of my way!
You get on the boat and...
No way, no way!
This might be fun!
Don't tell me about this when you get back, okay?
I see.
I thought you might say it, but you're holding money.
Why are you doing it that far?
So let's do it one more time and go home.
Let's do it badly.
Shall we do it badly?
That's right.
Let's do it like a weak person.
By the way, we're going home today.
By the way, everyone...
Hey! Let's go home.
Huh?
Are you listening?
Shall we do it?
Let's do it.
Are you practicing?
Yes.
Hey!
You can't go home!
If you say so...
By the way, we're going home today.
Don't tell me about this when you get back, okay?
What are you saying?
This is the first time you two are doing this kind of content together, right?
How is it?
Well...
You know how I'm always next to Shinmai Keiji, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And there are other criminals, like four of us doing this kind of content, right?
So, on the contrary, I felt like I had to do it while being a criminal.
Next week...
Should we do something shorter?
Yeah.
Something shorter.
Should we do something shorter?
Just one shot.
Yeah.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Two or three minutes.
Really?
Yeah.
Is the content that short?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
If you're going to stop when you realize it, don't say that.
Don't say such a bad thing.
That's all for now.
What are you talking about?
Well, we'll say goodbye for now.
Goodbye.