AISubs v3.4
Good evening. Do you know where we are today?
Well, this is in front of a goods shop.
That's right, but we're in Tawara Town today.
Tawara Town.
It's right there in Asakusa.
Oh, that's right.
I said it before.
That's right.
As you can see in the background, this is a goods shop.
There are about one kilogram of goods lined up here.
I see.
That's why it's called "goods street".
So it's okay for me to be a stranger like this, isn't it?
No, it's not.
It's a long time ago, isn't it?
Since you died.
Oh, I see.
And look at the name of the shop.
What is it?
I happened to see it.
Hamada Shopping.
Right.
You're doing a good business, aren't you?
Well, it's the same here, too.
That's right. It's all the same.
What do you think of this?
Oh, it's closing down.
Oh, it's like "Umekawa Arrested Bird".
It's like "Mitsubishi Bank".
Well...
From kabuki to oden...
What? Oden?
Oden.
Radish and egg...
You know, my father's love for oden...
I heard a little while ago that you're doing a bad business, aren't you?
The fifth floor of this building.
Right now, it's that...
Right? The supermarket...
Hey, where are you going, old man?
What?
Where are you going?
I'm done for today.
Oh, you fool!
What?
Let's go in.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Tonight's "Downtown" will be held on the fifth floor of this building.
Let's try to cheer ourselves up with "Place24".
That's what we've come up with, right?
Yes.
Please enjoy it until the end.
SANRAKU
This program is brought to you by SANRAKU...
...Southern Water Resources...
...and Oyama International Products.
Teacher, here you are.
- Good morning. - Good morning.
"Ladies and Gentlemen"...
- Good morning. - Good morning.
- Today's guest is famous. - Why?
- Is it the ninth episode? - Yes, it is.
- The ninth episode? - Yes, it is.
- Really? - He is the least cooperative guest.
- Why? - I don't know if he has another intention of laughing.
- He was working hard until a while ago. - Really?
- I don't know what you're talking about. - It's bad weather and you don't seem to be in a good mood.
- Oh, I got a watch today. - What did you get?
- A bandai or something like that. - You got a watch, didn't you?
- An Ultraman watch. - Yes, yes.
I don't need it!
I don't know why you're 26 years old!
I don't say you don't need it, but you threw it away.
I'll do my best.
I'm grateful for your good reputation while you're away.
Recently, you don't come out on TV much, but it's not very interesting, is it?
Well, now I'm forced to watch movies.
Oh, really?
It's the same with videos. You can watch any movie you rent.
But I can't make another Japanese movie.
I don't like it at all.
Well, it's not like that recently.
Oh, you like it.
There are many things that have been pretty good so far.
Oh, really?
A long time ago, I went to a large screening.
Were you impressed?
I was impressed.
Well, "kai"...
Kanji is a difficult word.
I don't know if you're telling me to write it down, but it's "kai" in Kanji.
I don't like Japanese movies, but I don't know why the title is "yo".
I don't know if I should go see it or not.
Even if you say "kai", I don't know what you're talking about.
But it's a large screening, "kai".
And on top of that, "ketsu" (ass)
Why?!
What kind of movie is "ketsu ga kai" in "ogata kenshin"?
"Moroyan" has been "kesu" (ass) up since "ogata kenshin".
It's been "ketsu" (ass) up since "ogata kenshin".
You idiot!
Huh?
It's been "kesu" (ass) up since "ogata kenshin".
It's the same with "kai".
So, I don't know about the title.
What about "yasha"?
"Kakakura kenshin".
"Yasha"!
It's like a yakuza movie.
"Yasha"!
"Kakakura kenshin".
"Yasha"!
I don't know about "yasha".
There's "kanaoan" under it.
"Yasha"!
"Yasha", "kanaoan" and "hatsundari" too!
What kind of movie is "kanaoan" under "asakura" and "shinji"?
There are a lot of weird movies with weird titles.
For example, "ulgol".
"Ulgol" is a long-lived and strong first supporting film.
I don't think you want to watch it.
What kind of movie is "ulgol"?
For example, "dugol".
It's a long-lived and strong opening film.
"Nozoittaitain"!
"Gogadaokage"!
"Hahoka"!
"Ulgol"!?
Who made that one!?
I don't think you want to watch it.
I don't think you want to watch it if they exist.
It's more interesting on the radio.
"Kodomo denwa sodani", right?
It's pretty popular.
You can't ask for help, even if your friend told you.
Things that you don't know, or things that are hard for your parents to ask you, like phone calls.
I see.
Gachan!
Yes?
Hello?
What?
Huh?
What?
I was busy.
That happens.
Yes, it does.
Gachan!
Yes?
Yes, hello?
This is Hamada-nii-san of Soudaisu.
What's up?
Um, hello?
Get up!
You're too much of a kid!
Do you even know what that means?
You should change your voice!
I don't know what you're talking about.
Don't hang up on me like that!
A little more! A little smaller!
Smaller?
Yeah.
Ring-a-ring-a-ring-a-ring! Hello?
It's not a kid's phone. It's Mr. Samada!
Hello?
What's your name?
Matsumoto.
Matsumoto?
Matsumoto, who are you?
Sato!
Oh, Sato! Sato, who are you?
Matsumoto.
Oh, you're Matsumoto?
Matsumoto?
Yes!
Matsumoto, who are you?
Sato!
Sato?
Yes!
Sato?
Yes!
Matsumoto?
Yes!
Matsumoto?
Yes!
Where's Sato?
Yes!
What's your name?
Matsumoto Sato.
Matsumoto is my name and Sato is your name?
Yes!
Hey, you old man!
Don't you think so?
It doesn't make sense!
I'm sorry!
It's funny that you're touching me now.
I'm sorry!
It's my fault!
What's your name?
I'm sorry!
Sato!
Why didn't you object?
Hello?
Um...
What's up?
I want to ask you something.
Yes, that's why you called me.
What's up?
Um...
What's up with you?
What?
Why are you asking me?
What's up with you?
Why don't you ask me something manly?
What?
It's a man's phone call. It has nothing to do with me.
Why are you worrying about me?
I want to know more about you.
Um...
Manly things.
Hello?
Um...
If you ask me I'll hit you with a stick!
If you ask me anything manly I'll hit you with a stick!
I'm sorry.
Why don't you ask your mother?
I'm asking you something childish like that.
Why is a giraffe's neck so long?
That's a good question!
It's the first time!
Can you say it again?
Why is a giraffe's neck so long?
Long neck, long neck.
Giraffe.
This is...
Quinta...
Quinta?
Quintin?
Shut up!
Ouch!
I didn't say it to you!
Human beings are very patient.
That's why you can't wait for a snack at three o'clock and your neck is closed for a long time.
Is it true?
Yes.
Is it true?
It's true!
Is it a book?
Yes.
Is it a turtle?
Yes.
Who is it?
It's nobody.
Is it me?
No, it's not you.
Is it a mask?
What?
Is it a snake?
Is it an elephant?
Is it a gorilla?
I don't know!
What are you talking about?
Is it true?
Are you stupid?
Is it an elephant?
Are you stupid?
Is it a turtle?
Karl!
What?
If you say complicated things, I'll be in trouble.
I'm a kid now.
I see.
You are my brother.
Gacha!
Hello? I want to ask you something.
What do you want to ask me?
Say it!
Karl!
What can you answer?
Brother!
Nobody calls you in a place like this.
Brother?
Say it!
Gacha!
Hello? I want to ask you something.
Isn't it a fax machine?
A kid doesn't call a fax machine.
Why does a kid call a fax machine?
Answer me!
Poor kid!
What's wrong with you?
Hello?
Hello!
It's a kid's phone call.
What is it?
Did I say something wrong?
It's okay. I'll say it again.
It's a kid's phone call.
It's Matsumoto's sister.
It's not sister!
It's Matsumoto's brother.
What's up?
I have something to ask you.
Yes, what is it?
Well...
I'm sorry, I just got a catchphrase.
What is it?
It's not a kid's phone call!
You've done a lot of things for me. I'll never forgive you.
Don't you use catchphrases!
You should have talked to me nicely!
Hello? What's up? It's your brother.
Is it okay now?
Yes, it's okay.
Is the catchphrase okay?
It's okay.
Hello?
Yes, what is it?
Well...
I have something to ask you.
Yes, yes.
When will the baby be born?
Oh, I see. When will the baby be born?
Yes!
Kiss him!
It's a girl's phone call.
Kiss him!
Don't talk like that!
How do you say "kiss him"?
Huh?
How do you say "kiss him" like that?
Think of a way of saying it!
It's a girl's phone call.
Kiss him!
It's refreshing!
You shouldn't say it like that.
You shouldn't say it like that!
Ask him something childish.
Childish?
What's childish?
Hello? What's up?
Hello, it's your brother?
Yes!
Well...
I have something to ask you.
Yes, yes.
Why do dogs bark and cry?
Hmm...
That's a great question!
Is it a great question?
Your brother is surprised!
I see.
Yes!
Why do dogs bark and cry?
That's right!
This is...
This is a very difficult problem!
Is that so?
That's why...
Brother, I'll look into it!
Don't hang up! Wait for me!
Yes!
I'm sorry!
Yes!
I'll be right out!
Yes!
Wait for me!
Yes!
Is it still there?
Tan-tan-tan-tan...
Hello? Do you understand me?
Tan-tan-tan-tan...
Tan-tan-tan...
Tan-tan-tan-tan...
Hello? Do you understand me?
Shut up!
Hurry up!
Huh?
Hurry up!
This is a very difficult problem!
Can you wait for me a little longer?
I'm sorry!
I'll wait for you...
I've already fallen!
I'm sorry!
Yes!
Can you wait for me a little longer?
Tan-tan-tan-tan...
Tan-tan-tan...
Tan-tan-tan-tan...
You've disappeared!
Huh?
This is the first time you're doing a new joke in public and you're doing it on TV.
I'm sure you all know how nervous you are.
You've never done this before, right?
Of course, I'm an amateur.
If you were here, you'd feel like you're driving on the highway for the first time.
You're good.
I don't know if you're good or not, but I'm sure you're nervous.
It's tough.
You don't know how people will react if you don't do it in public for the first time.
You know, I'm really tired right now.
Why?
The radio show ended in Osaka last night and I drove all the way here today.
Oh, I see.
It took me seven hours.
My manager and everyone else followed me, but no one changed.
Even if you say it hurts...
What?
Your water.
I told you to say it!
You're making me confused!
I saw it in your eyes, your water.
As a manager, you shouldn't have brought it.
You're sick!
Do the ultimate choice in the car.
Choice?
Ultimate choice!
Tell me clearly!
Which one do you want?
What?
You don't have a name!
You don't have a name yet.
No one will call you!
No one will call you "old man" or "you".
Even your mother won't call you "Masato".
No one will call you "you".
No one will call you "any woman you like".
You don't have a name.
Even your driver doesn't know you.
Because you don't have a name.
Yes, yes, yes.
Right?
And...
You have "Pio Pio".
You don't have it.
Of course you don't have a name.
I have Pio Pio.
Of course you don't have a name.
Of course you don't...
There are many unpleasant situations in which they call you by that name.
You were unpleasant in your rental video.
It's not a big deal.
You were unpleasant in your hospital relationship.
Even in your assignment.
You said "Pio Pio".
But you still wait in line and say "Hey!" and "Hey, you there!" and "Hey, you know something?"
What?
You know, after an accident.
What the hell are you talking about?
After an accident.
Yeah.
And you hit him and his head broke.
His head broke.
His body was all gone.
You can see it now.
But there was no spare body.
I don't think anyone has one.
No one has a spare one.
There's no such thing as a spare one.
And it's transparent and you can wear it like a cap.
It's a machine.
And you can wear it like a cap.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You can wear it like this.
And you can wear it like a ping-pong ball.
It says "Bear's House" here.
And you can wear it like this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What's up with you, you ping-pong ball?
Oh, yeah?
You're not cool at all!
Everyone's staring at you.
Hey!
When you think of something, you act like it.
Oh, I just thought of something.
When you think of something, you act like it.
I'm sorry about last night.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Why is the wind so strong?
Yeah, it's really windy right now.
Yeah.
I'm sorry about that.
Yeah, it's been a long day.
It's been a long day. I can't go home.
I can't go home because it's so late.
Let me introduce you a little bit.
Chiba Prefecture.
Takatani Masami-chan.
Good morning, good evening.
Thank you for doing "Mayunzai" every time.
It's "Osaka Dialect Lesson", but before on the radio,
there was a story that there is a different way of saying "eating" in words.
The only way of saying "eating" in words is "shappuri".
I'm sorry, but it's "Osaka Dialect Lesson".
The only way of saying "eating" in words is "shappuri".
It's the same for girls.
Yesterday, I said "shappuri".
I said "shappuri".
Yeah.
Why are you so quiet?
I don't know if it's a little far from "Osaka Dialect Lesson",
but I've been thinking about it for a while.
There is "ame".
"Amedama".
What do people of this era say about it?
Do they say "ame"?
What do you say?
Just "ame"?
Do you say "ame taberu"?
You don't have "ame", but you don't eat it.
You don't say "taben", do you?
You don't eat it, do you?
No.
It's different in "Osaka Dialect Lesson".
In "Osaka Dialect Lesson", you say "chan".
"Ame-chan".
You think it's a lie, don't you?
It's true.
It's absolutely true.
Not only young people, but even old people are becoming like old women.
That's right.
A while ago, a yakuza came.
A yakuza.
A yakuza with a bad-looking face and shaved eyebrows.
A yakuza with a strong punch power.
A yakuza like this came and said, "Ame-chan is caught".
It's true.
It's a lie!
It's really Ame-chan, isn't it?
When I was in Osaka when I died, I asked people there and they said it wasn't a lie.
Even "ungko" is called "ungko-chan".
It's true!
It's true.
It's true!
It's true.
It's all "chan".
What else is there?
"Ame-chan".
It's "Ame-chan", "ungko-chan".
What?
It's "hama-chan".
In your case, it's "matchan".
It's "matchan".
It's "matchan"?
It's a product.
It's not enough.
You touch dirty things and run away. You do this, don't you?
You do this, don't you?
What is this?
What?
"Yingato"!
"Yingato"? Don't say such things!
"Yingato"!
"Yingato"!?
Don't say that!
Give him a hint.
What did they do in Osaka in the past?
Hey!
No, women in women's attire!
Women in women's attire!?
Now you know why he talked about treating ladies in women's attire!
Which way are you from?
Kansai.
Oh, Kansai!
You don't look like you're from Bebenjo!
I think this guy is dirtier!
There's a coffee shop, right?
When you go to a coffee shop, what do you ask for?
In Osaka, we say "chashiba".
We also say "gyudon".
"Gyudon tabemiko" means "gyudon tabemiko" as it is?
Yes, that's right.
In Osaka, we say "gyu shibaku".
No, we say "gyu iwasu".
We say "gyu iwasu".
Yes, that's right.
So today, we're going to do these two things.
We're going to ask everyone one more time...
Yes!
We're going to ask everyone one more time...
That's right.
And we're going to go all out today!
Yes!
Let's go!
When you go to a coffee shop...
chashiba
When you go to eat gyudon...
gyudon
Say it clearly!
"gyu iwasu"!
You can't change it!
Yes, that's right.
Let's go again!
When you go to a coffee shop...
chashiba
When you go to eat gyudon...
gyu iwasu
This means...
gyudon
That's right!
So that's it for today. Goodbye!
Oh my, oh my, oh my.
What's up?
Hey, you guys!
Hey, you know...
Yeah?
I don't like it when people misunderstand me like that, but...
Um... next week...
I'm thinking of doing a skit.
What do you mean? Why did you misunderstand?
I don't like it when people think that I'm different from the usual.
That's not true.
It's definitely not like that.
It's not like I'm not like the usual, so it can't be helped.
That's what you're saying!
You know, I've been doing "shabeguri" all the time.
Yeah?
I've been doing "free talk" all the time, but I haven't used my body that much.
That's why people who watch us think of us as lovely people, but sometimes...
Yeah? It seems like we won't have any opening scenes from next week.
Oh, really?
I'm so happy!
Yeah...
It was tough in the rain, but...
Yeah, it's amazing.
It's hard to listen to, and it's already this cold.
It's a lot easier now that it's gone, right?
Yeah, it's easier.
I hope we can focus on that again.
Anyway, goodbye.
Don't come back tonight.
Goodbye.