AISubs v3.4
You've come to a good place today.
You've come to a good place.
Today we're going to Kitakujujo.
Behind us is Jujo Station.
Do you know that these two places are Saitama?
I see.
Come to think of it, everyone's cheek is red.
Mom, here too.
Isn't that a good place?
No, it's not!
It's not like you're laughing.
I'm going home.
Come on, come on!
Let's advertise.
If you buy rice...
Kunimatsu.
What?
Kunimatsu.
Kunimatsu!
Can you cut this out?
Today we're at Jujo.
Shinohara Engeijo.
We've been coming here a lot.
Actually, even now...
There are actors who have been acting here for a long time.
But for us...
We can't go out now.
That's why we're staying here.
I'm really sorry about that.
Let's do it here for a year.
It's hard!
There's nowhere to stay!
This is amazing, isn't it?
This is the most amazing thing I've ever seen.
It's...
It's the first time I'm doing it in front of a crowd of Shinohara's...
Shall we go to the dressing room?
Ah, yes.
Good morning.
I'd like to start off with this Shinohara Engeijo...
[Toyosui-san]
This program is brought to you by Toyosui-san...
...Oyama International Product...
...and Sandac.
Ladies and Gentlemen...
[Toyosui-san]
I was surprised. I thought it was "desler" or something like that.
Really?
No, really.
"Desler", right?
It was disgusting. Disgusting.
Then, I didn't know what would come next.
Then, I called again.
Then, it was even more disgusting.
What? What?
I was reading the Bible.
You went to see Jonathan.
Yes, I was reading the Bible with Jonathan.
It was disgusting, but I wanted to know.
Then, I got a badge.
What is it?
I don't know.
You don't have anything to do with it.
I closed my eyes and asked.
What is it?
It was really disgusting.
Then, I was acting half-true and half-false.
I didn't mean to call him, but I asked my friend if it was really my boyfriend's phone and tried to verify it.
You haven't been able to verify it yet.
Yes, yes, yes.
You said, "Is it really you?"
Yes, yes. I said my own name.
I said, "Hello, are you Mr. Yamada's fan?"
When he came out...
I said, "No, I'm not."
Then, he said, "Then, who are you?"
But I couldn't tell who he was.
Then, I got really mad and said, "Are you Yoko- san?"
I wanted to verify it, so I said, "Are you Yoko- san?"
I got mad and said, "Yes, I am."
I see.
Then, he said, "Huh?"
Wait!
You said it before, didn't you?
Yes, yes, yes.
Your fan said, "Huh?"
What are you doing?
Then, he said, "Huh?"
I was surprised and thought it wasn't him, but I said, "Yes, I am."
Then, he said, "Huh?"
I said, "Wh-who are you?"
Then, he said, "We are Gushi Prefecture..."
We are Gushi Prefecture...
He says you're Yoko-san, and you say you're Yoko!
But, you know, he changed his phone number, didn't you?
So, what did he do next?
He sent us a text message!
He didn't even answer his phone! On the contrary, he sent a telegram to us, since he knew who we were.
He sent us a telegram, and I should have been there. If I hadn't been there, the telegraph office would have come and sent us a message, and we would have gone home.
- He sent you a telegram, didn't he? - That's right! "Please call me when you get home," there was a message like that.
So I came home, and I left it there, and I called the telegraph office for the time being.
"Hello," they said, and it seemed like they were sending a telegram.
"Oh, Mr. Matsumoto?" "Yes," they said. "I'll call you back, so please wait a moment," said the old man.
I think he was about fifty years old at the time. "Please wait a moment," I said, and he called me back.
"Okay, I'll call you back now." "I love you, Mr. Matsumoto. Fufufufufu," he said.
- Such a middle-aged old man! "I love you, Mr. Matsumoto. Fufufufufu," he said. - "What did you say? I'll call you back," he said.
- No, no, no! - And, you know, taking things away is the most valuable thing.
- Well, anyway, we go to business, we go to the night market, you know? - Yes.
- You know, we go to the market, you know? Like, for example, the market or something like that. - Yes, yes.
- We go to a supermarket or something like that, and we do manzai or play games in front of everyone and go home. - Yes.
- You know, when it gets like that, people with bad taste still come and go. - You know, you go to the station's platform and stuff like that, you know?
- You go there and you just take things away. - Yes.
- Things that people are wearing. - Yes, yes.
- For example, you know, if you wear sunglasses on your chest and you take them off... - Yes, yes.
- You take them off and... - "Ka! Kaaa!"
- What's up with you?! You're a thief, you know?! - Yes, I am!
And it's annoying for you to go and take things, but you also give people rubbish and try to break their thumbs you know?!
- What's your problem?! - I told you!
You just don't... you just don't chase me for anything, you know?!
- Saw something? What is it about you... - You were happy when you saw me on TV saying "Oh, I have a cartilage asterism."
- Well, I guess I'm the one counting plans for that.
- I don't want you to say that. When you and Himejika were running away, I took off my new sunglasses and ran away.
- Normally I would give up, but they were pretty expensive, so I said "Wait a minute!"
- I was embarrassed, but I said "Wait a minute!" and ran away.
- You're lying!
- I'm serious.
- You ran away like this.
- I ran away like this, and he said "Give it back!"
- I ran away like this, and he said "Wait a minute!"
- "Wait a minute!"
- It was like a bad guy fell down.
- Well, that's how it is.
- There are many people like that.
- I came to Tokyo because of that.
- People in Tokyo have a great sense of fashion.
- The clothes they wear are different.
- People in Tokyo have a great sense of fashion.
- There were only three styles of clothes for students in our time.
- We had to choose one of them.
- But it was difficult back then.
- We had to choose one of them.
- If you were short-sleeved, you would look better.
- You would be looked down on.
- I.B. doesn't have anything to eat or drink. - No.
- It's not like that anymore. - Why can't you choose one of them?
- All of them are I.B. but you can't choose one of them that is I.B. - How is it?
- We chose them all I.B. but you can't choose one of them that is I.B. - What does I.B. eat?
- I.B. is... - I.B. is...
- You can eat anything you want but you can't eat I.B. - We are all human beings. We just wear different clothes but we are told to wear different clothes.
- You can eat watermelon with I.B. - Don't you think it's strange? It's strange for I.B. to eat watermelon. It's delicious.
- It's strange. - It's strange. You don't eat anything but you can't eat I.B. Can't you eat watermelon?
I.B. doesn't eat popcorn.
Popcorn.
Are you going to shut up because you've decided that, you idiot?!
Why not?
If you don't eat popcorn, what do you drink, I.B.?
Don't you drink cola, I.B.?
I don't care what I drink!
Why not?
Why cola?!
Surfers are still difficult, surfers, you know?
Surfers... What's difficult about surfers?
The way they eat and everything, you know?
That's difficult.
Surfers are amazing!
They have to look healthy, you know?
Yeah.
That's why you have to be in good shape and not get sunburned.
If you're skinny, you look cool when you're surfing, you know?
That's why you have to work out.
If you don't get fat, you look like you have muscles.
You know what they say?
Surfers' legs.
What's with "surfers' legs?"
If you watch marathons, you'll say, "Surfers' legs are amazing!"
Surfers' legs are amazing!
Surfers' faces are amazing!
Surfers' legs are amazing!
Surfers' faces are amazing!
It's white on top and white on the bottom! It's like a sponge! Don't you know it?!
You don't have to eat it today, but you don't have to eat anything.
Hey you! What are you drinking?!
What?!
A surfer drinks... What does a surfer drink?!
Drink what's in the sea! What's in the sea, you surfer!
What's in the sea... Sea water?!
It's called seawater!
Hey you! What's in the sea?!
It's called seawater!
What's in the sea...
The most difficult thing is being a surfer. Being a surfer is difficult in everything.
Why?!
Because you have to surround yourself with surfers.
From your family and everything, you become a surfer.
Don't be stupid! Being a surfer is bad, isn't it?!
That's right!
You're almost a family member, aren't you?!
That's right!
Why doesn't everyone in your family become like you?!
Because my mother was a surfer.
Being a surfer is different from being strong!
My mother was amazing.
Was she short or anything like that?!
Yes, yes, yes!
She was amazing!
She must have had a lot of money!
Yes, yes, yes!
Because she was a mother!
Yes, yes, yes!
She also had an amazing job!
Sorry!
You're noisy!
What?!
Say it again!
She also had an amazing job!
Was she short?!
Yes!
Your mother was short and she was a green woman!
She was a green man!
When I was in elementary school in Iran, I went to your mother's house first!
Have a good day!
Your mother got angry at your father and said "Have a good day!"
She said "This place is a little weird, isn't it?"
Why did your mother become a surfer?!
Because my mother was sweet, wasn't she?!
She said you were sweet, didn't you?!
From what I saw, you were a kind father and a sweet mother!
I told you to shut up, didn't I?!
If my mother said you were a green lady, you wouldn't do it if you didn't have guts.
I gave you my green uncle and auntie for safety. It has nothing to do with guts!
If my mother said you had a black belly and you were a green lady, she wouldn't call you "deep green lady" either.
What did you call me?
I told you to shut up, didn't I?!
If you don't know how to cook, for example...
At first you cut like this...
Your bangs droop like this...
Like this...
Your bangs droop like this...
Ah, it's so annoying...
Again...
Ah, it's so annoying...
You go to the hospital and your bangs droop like this...
You've become a sportsman!
How many shots did you do?
About ten shots...
About twelve shots...
About fifteen shots?
About twelve shots...
Fan letters
Even fan letters from Osaka to Tokyo are cold.
Oh, really?
Yes, yes, yes.
What kind of fan letters?
For example, if you write a phone number,
you can write "it's fine even if it's a prank call, so please do it".
In Tokyo, you can write a phone number and say "it's fine even if you do it".
That's terrible!
It's a bit of a high-profile attitude, isn't it?
Yes.
Well, with that, let's introduce a little more today.
Yes.
Is there anyone who wrote a phone number with you?
Oh, you're an A-class girl!
Oh, you wrote it?
Oh, I see.
Is it legal or not now?
Everyone knows that you have a girlfriend.
Oh, is that so?
You have a girlfriend, don't you?
I don't!
Wait a minute.
She took it, but it doesn't matter.
There's a question about whether you have a girlfriend or not.
This is really...
How can you have a girlfriend?
I want a girlfriend.
Really...
That's enough, isn't it?
No, no, no.
I really don't want one.
Oh...
Seriously.
I don't know what to say anymore.
I really want a girlfriend.
Why me?
What?
Why me?
What?
I knew it.
You don't have many opportunities, do you?
No, no, no.
I was thinking of going to Nelton next time.
Oh...
You're going to Nelton like that?
You're spending a lonely night, aren't you?
You know, when you go to a disco, you go dancing, don't you?
I don't dance, so I can't go.
But for now...
I'm dancing like this.
Are you serious?
No one dances like this!
No, but...
I'm dancing like this.
I usually dance like this.
No.
I'm sitting like this.
For now, I'm going back.
I'm smoking a cigarette with my gloves on.
You know...
You know, I've heard a lot of things!
From people in Tokyo!
You know...
The words we use...
For example...
Even if you're on TV or in a drama...
There are many words you don't know in Osaka dialect!
For example...
"Torihada" (skin)
Don't say it!
You said it before!
Torihada was that funny?
Torihada?
I say that Osaka Torihada is Torihada, but...
I don't say it much.
Osaka is...
Sabuibo.
This is...
It's a feeling of excitement!
For example, even if you're a creepy girl,
if you're touched by a creepy old man, you get excited, right?
You get a feeling of excitement, right?
Right? It's like...
Ibo.
It's not that good!
Sabuibo.
I don't say it.
And also,
in Osaka dialect,
it's like that.
If a kid is screaming,
I don't know how to say it here,
but if a kid is screaming,
Enough, Ichibiru!
Ichibiru...
Do you say "hotaeru"?
If you hear "hotaeru" in your house,
you say "hotaeru" there!
You say "ichibiru" and say "hotaeru"!
Mothers in Tokyo are generally kind, right?
I see.
If you say "hotaeta",
you say "fusagecha dame"!
Right?
It's different in Osaka.
In Osaka, you say...
Mou! Hotaeru!
You don't say it right away!
When you're angry, you say...
Mou! Hotaeru!
No, I'm serious!
I'm serious!
Mothers in Osaka raise their hands, too!
They say "hotaeru" right away!
Mothers in Osaka are easy to get excited about!
You don't know what's going to happen!
Mou! Sonnai shitara! Mata!
What again?
I don't know what you're talking about.
Yes, yes.
And when you're angry, you say "Mou! Irai na! Mou! Irai na!"
"Irau" means "touch"?
"Sawaru" means "sawari na"
Mou! Sotto! Mou! Irai na! Mou!
And when you're angry and messed up, you say "Mou! Irai na! Yoseyo!"
Yes, yes.
And what you say a lot is "unko" (poo)
Yes, yes.
I didn't know about it at all.
I thought we could communicate.
Is "unko" "unko" here?
"Unko" is "unko", right?
You can't call it like that.
No, it's not like that.
In Osaka, it's "baba".
Yes, yes.
Once, when I was a kid, I didn't know what "baba" meant.
Oh, I see, I see.
And "baba" means "baba-san", right?
And my name is "unko".
In Osaka, if you say "baba", they'll say "baba desu".
It's like that.
Seriously, now everyone doesn't have any discomfort, but when we were kids, we used to say "jayan" and "baba".
We're going to be "beta", you know?
"jayan" and "baba", you know?
Now everyone is holding their butts down.
It's like that.
Is it okay if we don't sing together today?
If you do that, we'll do it again!
So, let's say goodbye.
Do you understand?
Please say "yes", or we won't be cool.
Just say "yes", okay?
Yes.
No way!
Seriously!
Seriously, say it!
Say it, Osaka is...
If you say it like that, I'll do it again!
Say it!
Well, it's time to say goodbye.
Then, let's go!
One, two...
Thank you!
It's over.
To be honest, I didn't like the story.
But you managed it.
It was an old story.
I've only done it once or twice.
This is you.
It's addictive.
It was about six years ago.
You're addicted.
I'm addicted.
The audience doesn't know about this show.
They don't know about it until they try it.
It's scary.
What will you do next week?
Huh?
Yes.
Don't say it until midnight.
I'm in downtown regular now.
In Tokyo and Osaka.
It's the most headache show.
Even though you're a staff member.
The staff is your assistant today.
You're so cute.
When you're holding someone's head...
Kyle Maggio said you were cute, too.
I didn't watch it.
You didn't watch it.
I didn't have time for it.
You're annoying.
But...
It's getting sad.
Anyway, let's do our best next week.
That's all for tonight.
Goodbye.