AISubs v3.4
We are at the station of Monzen-nakacho.
I don't know anything about this place.
Last week, you said you wanted to go to a place where there are no people and you said you wanted to go to a place where there is a lot of noise.
Suddenly, you guys got on the subway.
The meaning is different.
To the station called Koyocho on the other side of Futatsu.
Have you decided?
Yes, I have decided.
I will call you.
Her eyebrows are like this.
Like this.
What are you doing?
Don't touch her eyebrows.
Her eyebrows are like this.
Stop it.
Her eyes are like this.
Where are you going? Can you go home now?
Be careful, mother.
Mother, are you dying your hair?
It's like a whole new hair.
Where are you going?
I will shake your hand.
Where are you going?
What are you doing?
If you are going to see her, take her with you.
What are you going to do?
It's a big dog.
Hey, come here for a moment.
What is that dog?
Hey, you! Don't you have anything to give to people who are walking?
No, I don't. I just bite their chins.
Chins!?
You bite their chins!
You idiot!
We have arrived at today's venue, Wakatake.
Now, the Kusara Gedoes have already gathered.
Already...
Hey, mom!
Mom!
Mom, where are you from?
Hey, you over there!
Thank you very much!
Here it is.
Downtown's sea.
Right?
Look, it's like a boat ticket.
Oh, you bought this for me?
That's right.
This lantern...
It's the most expensive one we've ever bought on a show.
It's beautiful, isn't it?
Oh my, oh my, oh my, it's amazing!
If you turn on the lights, it's going to be a mess!
Well, that's about it.
I see.
We've walked a long way today, but...
Right?
...shall we begin?
Let's begin.
I'm Downtown's musical instrumentist, Araen.
Today, we're here in Wakatake...
Yes!
...to entertain you all!
Thank you very much!
Let's have some fun!
Sounds good!
Well, it's about to begin, so pull up your sleeves.
Yes!
Well, well, well, well, well, well...
This program is brought to you by Toyosuisan...
...and Oyama International Products...
...and the following sponsors.
Thank you very much.
Thank you for your kind words.
Well, this is the fifth time, isn't it?
It's the fifth time.
Well, frankly speaking, it's the most painful song so far.
There are a lot of men, aren't there?
There are a lot of men today.
There are a lot of men.
Well, if I were to describe it, there is a pharmacy nearby today.
It seems that most of the people there come.
Well, there were young men, but there were also old men.
There were old men.
I don't know if you know that much.
Well, I think it's difficult.
Well, it's already the fifth time today, and I have to change the story every time.
That's right.
I'm thinking about new stories.
However, there are no more stories.
It's painful, frankly speaking, and it's painful.
It's very painful.
You say such things.
Well, please say anything today.
I'll do anything.
Oh, really?
There are a lot of stories I'm good at.
There are a lot of stories you're good at.
Well, you don't have to say one.
Well, this is the one I'm good at the most.
There is a chocolate pocky.
You can put it in your ass and turn it into Pritz.
You're good at it.
This is good.
You can do this wherever you go.
You can do the opposite, too.
You can put Pritz in your ass and turn it into a chocolate pocky.
Write it where you say it.
If you do it more, it'll turn into a strawberry pocky.
Stop it!
There's a lot of things going on.
But I'm also afraid of TV programs like "Kaigi Bangui".
Oh, yeah.
It doesn't matter if it's summer or winter.
If it's a world you don't know about,
for example, if it's a basic one,
it's a picture of a ghost.
An old man comes out and explains it.
This is an example of something.
It's scary, isn't it?
For example, there's a hand on his shoulder.
Don't you know it?
There was a name on it.
We all took a commemorative picture and
there was a hand on one of his shoulders.
Bam!
That's all.
There's a hand on his shoulder.
When we took the picture,
there was a volunteer from the Self-Defense Force behind us.
That's not it!
I said I'd take a picture,
but you said you weren't from the Self-Defense Force.
There's nothing behind you!
If there was something, it'd be a cliff!
There's nothing around you,
but you say you're from the Self-Defense Force.
That's what you're like, isn't it?
I don't know!
Hey!
Stay at home!
I don't know much about commemorative pictures.
Oh, there's more.
A volunteer from the Self-Defense Force.
Do you know it?
When we took the picture,
around his waist,
his hair was cut off,
and his head was all messed up!
His face was covered in blood!
He was stabbed in the back or something!
Which one? The one stabbed or not?
What do you want me to do?
Do you want me to stab you?
What do you want me to do?
You're definitely stabbed!
I'll definitely stab you!
That disgusting face was covered in blood!
What about your office?
My personal office...
That disgusting face...
My personal office...
That's...
A pocket!
You're lying!
You can't put on such a disgusting pocket and say you're in Russia!
You're saying it because you don't know!
What?
Where do you sell such a pocket, you idiot?
Uh... I sell it in Tokyo Hands.
It opens up this light blue area and nothing goes in.
Your office pocket...
Come here! Come here, you idiot!
You can't believe it, can you?
When you're scared and you're walking down the street and someone touches you shoulder...
That's right!
Even when I'm walking down the street and I'm in a daze, it makes a lot of sense!
Recently...
There's nothing wrong with it!
If you're just walking down the street...
And you pass by a stranger...
And someone touches you shoulder...
You don't care about it, do you?
When you get home and look around...
There's blood all over your shoulder...
It's pretty popular, huh?
It's a little out of focus...
The sponsor is...
What the hell is that?!
It only says "alcohol 4%" but it's already...
It's disgusting!
It's a little smaller than usual...
What is it?
"Peach Tree Peas"?
Yeah, yeah, yeah...
I drank it and... well, whatever...
You know, when you get home and look around...
There's blood all over your shoulder...
It's pretty popular, huh?
It's scary...
It's scary?
I'm not the only one who's scared...
When you get home and look around...
Really?
I used to be more scared...
Of what?
The park near my house...
Actually...
I was scared...
When I heard it...
My right arm was like...
Stop talking!
Stop it!
Yeah, yeah...
You know...
I think it was about three years ago...
I was walking alone...
In a park near my house...
Yeah...
I saw a man in a yukata...
With a pale face...
Sliding down...
From a slide...
Oh...
Ninja! Ninja!
He touched me...
Yeah...
When I looked back...
That man was gone...
What?!
He said "jungle gym" next...
Oh...
When I got home and looked around...
There was poop all over my shoulder...
It's disgusting!
It's disgusting...
I'm not the only one who's scared...
Of what?
I don't know...
I'm scared of what's on my shoulder...
I'm more scared of sweet poop...
I'm not talking about "scary" or "not scary"...
I'm talking about you...
I'm more scared of your death...
I'm more scared of you...
Eating too much peanuts...
And your nose starts to smell...
And your poop...
Stop it!
I'm more scared of you...
Eating too much peanuts...
And your nose starts to smell...
I don't care who you ask! I'm not scared of you!
Let's say you're a detective or a policeman...
And there's a murder somewhere...
Where is it? Oh, it's this apartment! Alright, let's go!
And you open the door of the apartment...
And you see a corpse covered in blood rolling around...
And you see a corpse covered in poop rolling around...
Which one do you choose?
If I were you...
I'd use a stick or something...
What should I do?
If you're covered in poop, you don't know anything!
You're the one who's saying scary things!
What am I saying?
You know, like...
I'm scared of you!
There's more... There's more scary stories...
You have to listen to me!
Do you know...
For example...
An old woman lives alone...
Right?
An old woman lives alone...
And she's sitting like this...
And she's looking at the altar...
For some reason, she's talking to her grandfather, who died three years ago...
Because she's lonely...
Grandmother, you're talking to me!
You're talking to me!
She's looking behind her...
And her grandfather is...?
If you want to say something to your grandmother...
You're welcome to say it!
I see...
Huh?!
I don't know about that...
This is scary stories...
You know...
Yeah...
She...
Even though she's dead...
She gave birth to her own children...
So she is sitting in front of the altar by herself, isn't she?
The old woman is dead!
The old woman is dead and the old man appears!
The old woman is a genius, isn't she?
The old woman is dead and the old man appears!
The old woman is not a ghost, is she?
No!
The old man appears, doesn't he?
He appears and says something, but the old woman doesn't say it.
Oh, I see.
What about the old man?
The old man is behind her and the old woman says something, but the old woman doesn't say it.
I understand how the old woman feels.
You do, don't you?
I want to say something, but I can't.
What is it?
The old woman is dead and the old man appears!
What?!
Are you stupid?!
No, you are not!
What?
The old woman is dead and the old man appears!
The old woman is dead and...
No, you are not!
I said it earlier, but you came out of the altar to say, "Please stay with me for a long time."
Oh...
Say it!
What? Are you forcing me?
That's how it is!
It's like a waterfall or something.
A waterfall is flowing.
There are rocks everywhere.
What are you doing with one way of saying it?
If you look closely at the people standing on the high rocks,
there is a woman standing on the high rocks.
Yes.
What?
Yes.
There is a woman standing on the high rocks where people can't climb.
Yes.
What?
There is a woman standing on the high rocks where people can't climb.
Yes.
What?
There is a woman standing on the high rocks where people can't climb.
No, it's not like that!
Hey!
Yes?
Stop it! You're scaring me!
Are you listening?
Yes.
There is a woman standing on the high rocks where people can't climb.
Yes.
What?
Effort.
Yes.
If you say it, it will happen.
Don't fall!
Don't fall and die!
Yes.
Say whether it is different from what you said!
I will force you.
Say it like that! It's not like that!
I can't trust you like that.
You and that woman, too!
Explain it like that!
What?
I can't trust you like that.
As you said earlier, I'm obsessed with it.
Yes.
That's what scares me the most.
What?
White snakes and foxes?
Yes, yes.
Do you know what will happen if you get bitten by a white snake?
It's amazing!
My junior high school classmate said that during class.
The teacher was drawing like this and he was sitting like this...
He jumped!
What is that?
It's not a horror movie.
He jumped like this...
It's not like you're obsessed with it.
You said you were obsessed with it, didn't you?
I saw you while you were working.
I saw you.
I saw you while you were working.
What are you talking about?
You're a double, aren't you?
I heard you.
I saw you, didn't I?
What?
I heard you, didn't I?
Why am I a double?
Well, it seems like you are.
Right?
You're obsessed with it.
You're cute.
What do you mean?
For example, there are people who drive cars.
When you're driving a car, you often see dogs and cats running past you, don't you?
When you pass by one of them, and you feel sorry for it, what do you say?
I say "animal spirits".
I see.
When you feel sorry for it, it goes away.
For example, dogs.
They go away.
My friend, who is attached to an African family.
I feel sorry for it.
Didn't you hear me?
It runs along the road.
It is attracted to it.
When you feel sorry for it, it comes in.
Where does it run?
Stalker.
It runs stalker.
One day, an African is attracted to it.
I feel sorry for it.
It comes in.
It goes in.
I talk to it and it goes away.
Didn't you hear me?
My relative is attached to a macaque.
The first train runs in the rain.
The second train runs in the rain.
The third train runs in the rain.
I see a macaque.
I close my eyes.
I get off and take off my cap.
The macaque flies.
I take off my underwear and it stinks.
Only this man is laughing.
I say "animal spirits".
It goes away.
The next day, I say "animal spirits".
The macaque flies.
Macaque! Macaque!
Macaque!
It doesn't make any sense, does it?
Yeah, you know, we're looking for an assistant in a show.
Well, we're wondering if the staff has broadcasted it on TV.
By the way, Yoi has cooled down.
What are you talking about?
You're a bad person.
Yoi has cooled down.
She hasn't cooled down.
I don't know because you're wearing makeup, but if you remove your makeup, this area is cool, too.
Don't say that!
Well, anyway, it's already the fifth time today.
Yoi is here, so...
Well, anyway, we'll watch it for a while.
After that, we'll use it.
We have it on purpose, so...
Yes, yes, yes.
Yes.
It doesn't suit you at all!
In this preliminary round, we even have a time slip.
First of all, this person.
This person is an otaku.
Kurimoto Makicha.
This person...
Even though we say "always", we've shown it twice, but we hope you'll enjoy it.
It's okay because it's only twice, but will you continue doing manzai?
Won't you run out of ideas?
That's the downside of downtown.
Even if you do it 20 or 30 times...
If you keep doing it, people will say, "I believe in you. Keep up the good work."
What do you think about this? Doing ideas 20 or 30 times...
What do you think?
Thank you.
Even if you say "ideas", in the end it's up to me.
That's right.
Am I the only one who can't think of ideas?
I asked for an assistant.
She said, "Please don't do this."
She said, "Please send me a picture."
Mr. Yoshida, Mr. Satomi, please send me a picture like this.
She said, "This is me."
I don't know if it's hatred or not.
Every time you think about it...
It's nice of you to raise me up.
Even if you say, "This is the culprit's picture," there's no solution.
Have you ever been angry?
I haven't been angry recently, but I've been having a lot of fun every day.
Why?
What?
Your fashion has changed, too.
Can you not say that all of a sudden?
I'm also from Tokyo.
Shut up!
I'm going back to Osaka tomorrow.
I don't feel like I'm going back to Osaka anymore.
I feel like I'm going to Kansai.
The intonation is different.
That's right.
I feel like I'm going to Kansai or going to Kansai.
I've heard that a lot, but there are some difficult words in Osaka dialect.
I wonder if you can give me an Osaka dialect course.
Oh, that kind of thing.
I'm sure you can.
My makeup artist said, "There's no dip like this."
There's a new one.
I took it and said, "Oh, it's a plate."
It's a plate. Can I use it?
Huh?
I know what 'sara' is.
"Sara" is like "cereoin."
That's not it! It's a plate!
But, you know, sanitary pads are expensive these days.
What are you talking about?! It's none of your business!
No, I mean, you know, you have a lot of resuscitation power.
What are you talking about?
So, you know, my mom used up all of her resuscitation power and it went up again.
You're lying!
Really? You have that much resuscitation power?
You know, that thing you see in front of you?
Yes.
That's, you know... What do you call it?
Monomorai?
Monomorai!
No, that's not it. In Osaka...
"No way, you can't say "monomorai" in Osaka!"
No, you can't.
"Yeah, in Osaka they say "mebatsuko"."
Don't laugh!
Don't make me laugh!
You bastard, mebatsuko!
If you say this, everyone will laugh.
How can you laugh like this?
Take this and melt it with metal.
I'm sleepy.
It's strange.
I'm hungry.
There is such a thing.
For example, for those who are watching,
"This is like this in Osaka," or "What is like this?"
There is such a thing in Awaki.
So, well, maybe, or rather,
try the Osaka lecture once.
Let's do it.
"This is like this in such a case," or "This is how you use it."
I'd like to try it once.
You studied today, didn't you?
Yes.
How do you say "monomorai" in Japanese?
Mebachiko!
That's right!
You remembered it, didn't you?
Mebachiko!
Go ahead.
Mebachiko!
Go ahead!
You remembered it, didn't you?
Let's say goodbye for today.
Goodbye!
Well...
It's over, isn't it?
How was it?
Well, well, it was good.
There were a lot of people who laughed a lot.
That's why...
There were a lot of people from the city hall.
It wasn't what I usually think of.
It's over, isn't it?
Is it popular?
Yes, it's like that.
Yes, it is.
It's good.
By the way...
Have you been checking out?
What?
Oh, before tonight.
Yes, I have.
I picked up about four people.
You picked up about four people.
That's good, isn't it?
You picked up about four people.
That's good, isn't it?
Well...
About...
Well...
If it were those four people...
It would have been about 50,000 yen.
It's over, isn't it?
I usually spend a lot of money, but...
Next time, let's go somewhere and talk about it.
That's right.
Let's go somewhere and talk about it.
Let's go together.
Once we go there, we'll feel a little free.
That's right.
You're pretty good at everything.
I'm not used to it.
I'm not used to it at all.
I'm not used to it at all, but I'm good at it.
I'm good at it.
Oh, of course you are.
What?
You're so bad at it.
You're terrible at it.
Well, it's like that.
Hey, hey, hey.
I'm sorry for making you do this.
The operation screen itself.
The way you say it.
I've been trying a lot of things.
- What do you want me to say? - You know what you should say.
- Goodbye. - Goodbye.