AISubs v3.4
- So you're not a teacher. - That's right.
- You said you were a manzai student, right? - Yes, yes.
- You do manzai for 30 minutes, right? - That's right.
- You don't normally say "you", do you? - What?
- Usually, manzai is 15 minutes, right? - Well, that's right.
- You do it for 30 minutes. - Yes.
- Doesn't it look interesting? - Doesn't it look interesting?
- Isn't it more exciting to do it? - It's exciting.
I thought I'd sit down and line up the staff and perform one by one.
- That's fine, but... - Yes.
- You can do manzai as much as you like. - Oh, really?
- 30 minutes. - That's nice.
- You're making me mad. - It's nice, isn't it?
- It's nice, isn't it?
- But I don't usually do manzai in front of people in Tokyo. - You don't, do you?
- Today, I'm going to do it, including Yosumi. - Let's see how it goes.
- I don't know. - Okay.
- I'm going to try it. - Okay.
- Oh, it's a student voucher. Let's go. - Let's go in.
This program is brought to you by Toyo Suitan...
...Ninda Jiwayokuchuurumakit...
...and Bora's sponsors.
It's really tough walking here and there even though you're young.
It's really tough.
It's tough sometimes.
It's tough. My body doesn't go as I want it to.
I think I have to do my best since it's my first time, but I can't do it because of this joint.
Why?
It's been a while since I did a manzai.
I'll do it.
It's nostalgic.
People in Tokyo probably don't know about it.
They probably don't watch it now.
That's right.
They probably know where it is and where it is not on TV.
That's right.
We're Yoshimoto Industry.
You know Yoshimoto Industry, don't you?
It's famous all over the world.
It's cheap.
It's useful.
It's like working for a company.
That's right.
When you come to a place like this, you can relax.
But when you're in Osaka or sometimes in Kagetsu- tan, it's hard to do this.
I'm sorry.
Mr. Eirai of Yoshimoto comes to see it.
He's doing manzai for the first time.
He's doing it behind the audience.
Mr. Eirai of Yoshimoto Industry.
It seems that Yoshimoto Industry's name wasn't Mr. Eirai of Yoshimoto Industry.
It was Yakuza.
It's Yakuza.
It's close.
And there's the chairman of Yoshimoto Industry.
Do you know the chairman of Yoshimoto Industry?
He's the old man of Hayashi-san.
That's right.
He's an old man.
He's got a young and cool face.
He's cool and very energetic.
He's got a lot of energy and he's a liar!
Even though he's a liar...
It's like that when we go see it.
It's like that.
It's so tough for me.
You know, when we go up on stage, you know, I sit on my right and watch it.
You never laugh at it?
I never laugh at it!
I watch it like that.
You know, I don't know much about it!
You know it's like a group of little kids.
I just don't know it!
And I call in other people just like you do.
Other directors.
Who is it?
It's Dantan.
It's Keji.
Are you kidding me?
I've told you so many times.
It's Keji.
I told you so many times.
That's right.
You don't think we're human?
No, I don't.
You only think of yourself.
That's right.
The other day, I was at A-Lights.
Thank you for everything.
You're welcome.
You still don't know what you're saying.
What do you mean?
You have a bad tongue.
Tongue?
Sometimes I don't know what you're saying.
You know it.
But I don't know it!
I know you're talking, but I can't see you.
You're sick.
Yes, I'm sick.
You're talking in front of me.
You come back here.
I know you're talking, but you don't come forward.
I explained it to you.
This groovy is beautiful.
When girls hear it, they want to hug you.
I was wondering if I could do it.
I asked my parents for money.
My parents thought about it for three days.
If you're okay with it...
Is it expensive?
I went to get money, but I couldn't get it.
Where is it?
I went to get money, but I couldn't get it.
Where is it? I went to get money, but I couldn't get it.
I went to get money, but I couldn't get it.
I bought about eight of them and put them up in the hallway, and I'm selling numbers, so if you have a number you want, please let me know.
I'll tell you when I have it.
Let me show you one of them.
Yes.
This is it.
This is a flashlight I saw from the weather satellite and from the sun.
Is it like this?
No, no, it's very heavy.
I don't think it's easy to understand if I don't explain it.
Yes, teacher, are you an amateur?
Yes, yes, yes.
It's easy...
Yes, of course.
It's easy to understand, right?
Yes, it's similar.
There's a problem here.
The lower part is like this and it's like this.
And the top part is like this and it's like this.
It's really hard to say "gut" here.
It's harder than I thought it would be.
I want you all to say "gut" here.
Thank you very much.
Do you want me to understand?
I can say "gut" and "gut" too, you bastards.
Yes.
I'm not saying "gut" and "eh" you bastards.
Yes.
I'm serious about this.
Yes, you are.
I'm not saying "gut" and "eh" you bastards.
This is very scary.
Yes.
Masao-kun.
Yes.
Actually, it's "gut".
Yes.
You'll laugh, won't you?
Teacher, I'm serious about this.
Yes.
I was surprised you said "gut" just now.
Masao-kun, it's "gut".
Yes.
There are many kinds of "gut" too.
Yes.
But Masao-kun's "gut" is a very evil "gut".
If I were to say it medically, it's "gut" with bad "ghosts".
It can't even save your life.
This year, "gut" will die next Tuesday, Tuesday and Saturday at two o'clock.
Teacher.
Yes.
Can you do something about it?
Wait...
Please do something about it!
I don't want to.
You don't want to? That's no good! But I don't want to!
Yes. Please do something about it!
But I can't do anything about it.
What my father can do is that Masao-kun won't know that he's got cancer!
That's the only way!
That's the only way.
That's my only way.
Masao! Can you go over there for a second?
No, no.
It's important for you, isn't it?
Please do something about it!
I can't listen to you! Go over there!
Go!
Go, even though you've got cancer!
You're going to die! Don't think too much about it!
It's disgusting!
Masao-kun won't know about it.
Shut up!
You're the one who said that Masao-kun won't know about it!
Hey!
Quizes are funny, aren't they?
Explain it to me!
You're the ones who said that Masao-kun won't know about it, so go over there and say it.
What quizzes are funny?
No, no. The quizzes we've been watching on TV are funny.
They're funny, but...
What?
What? Are you trying me?
No, quiz shows. There are a lot of them, aren't there?
There are a lot of them, but...
Of course, you can't just go on a quiz show and get 10 questions right and win 100 million yen.
That's right.
You can't just go on a trip to Hawaii.
You know, it's better to go on a quiz show than work.
There are a lot of things like that.
But it's not easy to get it right.
Oh, yeah?
It's difficult.
Let's do a quiz today, okay?
Okay.
I'll give you a question and you'll answer it.
Okay.
No, no.
What?
If you get the quiz right...
Yeah.
You win 100 million yen.
Yeah.
You can't say it's a trip to Hawaii.
You can't say it's a trip to Hawaii, but you don't have anything else to say.
Think about how you feel about it.
If you answer it right, I'll give you a slap in the face starting tomorrow.
No, thank you!
Slap in the face is enough for me!
If you do what you just said, you'll waste all your time.
Is that such a problem?
That's not a problem!
I won't tell you it's a trip to Hawaii, and I won't tell you it's a trip to Hawaii!
If you get it right, you can go to the Philippines.
No, I can't go there. Can you become a Filipino in the morning?
No, I can't!
I'll make you a citizen.
What are you talking about? Why do I have to become a Filipino?
No, it's funny.
No!
No, it's not like that.
But it's fine.
It's funny for you to say you're a Filipino.
It's funny for you only! I don't like it.
No, you can't be a Filipino.
You can't be a Filipino.
I see.
Think about it.
What?
Think about it.
Okay, I'll think about it.
Okay, good luck.
Yes, thank you.
Okay, then, question one.
Taro went to a flower shop to buy flowers.
Now, what is it?
Gachi, gachi...
Taro went to a flower shop to buy flowers.
Now, what is it?
Kini, kini, kini, kini...
Gachi, gachi...
Taro went to a flower shop to buy flowers.
Now, what is it?
It's time for the stomping quiz.
What is that stomping quiz?
Explain it first!
Why are you staring at me like that? What is it? Answer me!
This is not right.
What are you talking about? Stomping quiz!
Stomping quiz.
I know!
Listen carefully and answer me.
This is the second question.
Hanako went to a bath shop.
Now, what is it?
Gachi, gachi...
Stop it!
What is it?
Hanako went to a bath shop.
Now, what is it?
I'm asking you, what is it? Why are you staring at me like that?
Is it a triangle?
It's a triangle.
Answer me!
If you don't know what a triangle is, answer me!
The question is hard to understand.
That's not the question!
I'd like to solve it by talking.
If you don't know what a triangle is, answer me!
Let's make it easy to understand.
Of course! Let's correct it!
Let's correct it from the beginning!
Yes, I got it.
It's easy to understand, right?
It's the first time for you, Tamada-san.
Tamada-san, that's why...
I got it.
Taro-kun went to a bath shop.
Now, what is it?
Yes, Taro-kun went to a bath shop.
Yes, that's right.
In the summer, he goes twice a day.
Now, what is it?
Shut up!
Look! If you don't care about it, I'll give you a problem you'll understand.
If you don't like it, I'll throw it away.
How many times do I have to tell you?
Exotic quiz!
What are you doing?
Exotic quiz!
I don't care about exotic quiz!
I don't care about it!
Exotic quiz!
I don't care about exotic quiz!
I don't care about any quiz!
Ping-pong! Ping-pong! Ping-pong!
What are you doing?
The buzzer rang!
I don't care!
This is a bonus quiz!
If you don't like it, I'll give you a problem you'll understand.
Hamada-san, it'll be doubled!
Hang in there!
What?
It'll be doubled!
What will be doubled?
Usually, it'll be doubled if you don't have it.
Hamada-san, you haven't answered a single question so far.
Of course you don't have it!
I'll be doubled!
You'll be doubled!
Huh? I want to see it, so I'll definitely get it right!
Hang in there!
Even if I'm doubled, I won't look down on you!
You'll be doubled!
Hang in there!
Yes!
Hamada-san, you're too loud!
Wait a minute!
You talk too much!
Um...
Who told you to be here?!
If you ask me what it is or how it is...
Hamada-san, you can choose!
Entertainment, history, social status... you can choose!
Of course you'll get it!
What is it?
It's a double!
If you make me double, I won't get doubled!
I'm sorry!
No, no...
What is it?
Entertainment, history, social status... you can choose!
Um...
Status...
Yes!
Oh...
You like it, don't you? Yes!
What is it?
What do you think about it?
No, you choose it!
You choose it, don't you?
I like it.
I like history.
I said I like it! You're the one who chooses it!
What... what is it?
Huh?
What... what should we do?
Entertainment.
Entertainment, right?
Hmm... I like it, don't you?
I said I like it! You said you like it!
Well, I like anything.
Then... history!
History?
You like history, don't you?
Huh?
You like history, don't you?
I don't know what you're talking about.
I said I like history twice, but I like it four times more!
What is it?
What do you like about it?
I don't know what you're talking about.
You like it four times more?
I like it four times more.
I'll definitely get it right!
You like history, don't you?
Good luck.
Yes.
What is...
what is it?
H-I-S-T-E-R...
Wait!
Listen to me!
What is it?
Say it!
Huh?
I can't proceed with the quiz, so say the answer!
Just one question.
You've only asked questions and haven't said the answer!
What is Itagaki-taisuke?
Say it!
Huh?
What is Itagaki-taisuke?!
What is it?!
Last Chance Quiz!
Say the answer!
Last Chance Quiz!
Shut up!
What is Last Chance Quiz?!
I'll give you two chances.
Good luck.
Say the answer!
What is Itagaki-taisuke?!
Good luck with Last Chance Quiz!
What is Itagaki-taisuke?!
It's a difficult question!
What kind of question is that?!
If it's a difficult question, you can think of it as 46 yen.
What kind of price is that?!
Last Chance Quiz!
Now you can become a Filipino!
No!
"Don't get used to it" you say so clearly! "Don't get used to it"!
Well, it would be nice if you got used to it! "Don't get used to it"!
Look me in the eye and say "Don't get used to it"!
That would be nice!
Now, it's the last chance!
Bet on me, Mr. Yohimeda!
It doesn't matter! I don't want to see you!
Last Chance Quiz!
Make it easy!
I'll make it easy! Listen carefully!
Was there 60 apples in the basket?
"Don't get used to it"!
Ah, it's coming! It's coming!
Ping-pong! Ping-pong! Ping-pong!
Correct answer, Mr. Yohimeda! You're a Filipino!
From tomorrow, you're a Filipino! Until next week, goodbye!
Where did you come from today, Yohimeda?
For the first time, you said that there are a lot of men, didn't you?
But you know, it's a good thing!
We don't really do it in front of men.
In that sense, we don't know what kind of reception you're getting.
I thought you were young, but you're pretty old.
No, you! You! You!
Look sideways! Your head is out of place!
No, but you know, everyone says that you have a high standard!
Yes, yes, yes!
Really! Everyone says you have a high standard!
"Ugly"! There are seven of you!
No, where are you from?!
What?!
But you know, I didn't like the man in red.
Why?
He looked like he was standing in a car.
Why don't you say something funny?
I'm half-truthful!
I didn't like it.
But you know, it's easy for young people to do this, right?
Yes, yes.
But when you're talking, you're listening seriously, right?
It's weird, right?
Yes.
You're laughing, but you're not serious until you're laughing!
Stop it!
Look at you! You're laughing, but you're not serious until you're laughing!
You're laughing, but you're not serious until you're laughing!
He's really quick to turn around!
Too quick!
Are you guys palm readers?
That was amazing!
It was intense!
As he said now in Osaka,
even while laughing, he's turning around and talking next to you,
As I was listening to the story, I thought "If I knew it, I wouldn't have done it like this"
Rintaro is really...
A lecturer!
I want to be a comedian!
A researcher!
When I went to watch a public program like this, I thought I should definitely watch it at home on a TV
That's right!
But it's completely different!
When I was talking, there was comedy in it!
I thought it was crazy!
Do you know Keishu? Keishu!
Keishu used to do something like a synchronized comedy, like "Kaomeijin Gekijo"
Keishu had a mirror-like set behind him
And he was doing a synchronized comedy there
And Keishu and Hakemi were slipping at the time
I couldn't catch it!
You couldn't catch it!
And when I saw "On Air" of "Kaomeijin Gekijo", I was like "Tokan! Tokan!"
And when I saw the faces of the people in the mirror behind me, I was like "Tokan! Tokan!"
Even though their faces looked like this, their laughter was so loud!
That's right!
I thought, "Maybe there is such a phenomenon?"
That's right!
So please watch it!
But I don't know if you can see their faces like this
When you go home and watch it again...
Yes!
Be careful!
If you have a place you want to go, please come and visit us later!
If you invite us, we will hit you back!
That's right!
Thank you very much for today!
I'm tired.
I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm tired.
I'm tired.
It's strange. When I do it, I talk faster than I thought.
Well, it's a feeling.
Yes.
I wonder if it's a little nervous.
That must have been.
Yes.
But let's stop doing this.
No, I won't do it.
What?
We don't have enough time, so we won't do it next week either.
Well, but...
But what?
Well, well, well...
No, we don't have enough time, do we?
Yes.
Let's do it next week!
Let's spend more time on it.
Yes, yes, of course.
What?
We have to do it.
Yes, yes, yes.
30 minutes or 40 minutes...
How about changing things up?
There were a lot of people from O.L. today, right?
Yes.
Next week, we'll do it with Indians.
Yes.
Can we do it as a scene?
Yes, we have our own curry story.
No, we can't.
We can't do that.
Curry story, you...
We can think of anything.
Change songs?
Yes, we can change songs.
But I think it's best to do it today.
Well, well, yes.
Next week, exactly as scheduled.
Yes.
30 minutes.
Next week, 40 minutes?
Yes.
Let's do it!
Yes, let's do it.
Well, I don't look like it, but I'm sure the staff are thinking, "What are they doing?"
Yes, yes, yes.
"Yes, yes," you don't like it, do you?
Yes, yes, yes.
That's right.
So...
It's been a while since I've done a manzai with fighting.
Let's do it next week. Do it this week.
Do it from the beginning.
But it's 2 o'clock and 10 minutes.
What? There's something wrong with the time?
What you're looking at is blurred.
It's blue.
Yes, yes. At midnight...
Yes.
Everyone is angry.
Yes.
But even if you look at it side by side, there's no other song that's funny.
Oh, is that so?
There's no other song like this.
It's just similar.
It's not funny.
It's funny at 2 o'clock and 10 minutes.
That's funny.
You're funny.
Anyway, for now...
It wasn't a satisfying time for us.
That's right.
Next week...
For about 30 minutes...
Make sure you have enough time.
Can you do it?
What? Are you asking me?
Who are you asking?
Well...
Let's do it.
Next week...
We'll do a lot of downtown manzai.
Until next week...
Make sure you have a lot of fun.
That's all for tonight.
Goodbye.