AISubs
It's so exciting!
Everyone is here!
It's time for the opening dance!
It's time!
Do you know what day it is?
I don't know!
It's the day Musashi and Kojiro got married!
Isn't it amazing?
It's so exciting!
It's a world where you can't say what you want to say,
but if you put it on your favorite dance number, you can say anything, right?
Yeah!
All the things you want to say,
I'll give up while riding the dance!
Let's dance!
It's a world where you can't say what you want to say,
but if you put it on your favorite dance number, you can say anything, right?
Let's go!
A lot of my favorite variety shows that I've been watching for many years are coming to an end!
Give me back my fun!
What did you say?
It's all thanks to you guys!
Mechaike was also here the other day!
Thank you for your hard work!
Thank you!
What kind of program was it?
It was the last variety show!
It's so sad!
Let's go!
JR East Japan, a security camera is going to be installed on the new train!
It's the best! There's no time limit!
Is that so? There's no time limit?
There's no time limit, but there are people who are suspicious.
From which range were you spotted?
From the front.
From which range were you spotted?
Let me see! Let me see!
You're not spotted!
You were spotted like this!
It's scary, isn't it?
Okay! I'm still here!
Let's go!
The important help mark doesn't work at all!
Help mark? What is it?
Don't you know?
What is it?
Do you know the Matani D-Mark?
Yes, I know.
It's the one that Limpy-san likes.
Yes, it's like a badge.
That's right. The help mark is for people with disabilities in the country.
People with language disabilities or people who don't know they have a visual impairment.
There is a mark that someone can use to support them.
But it doesn't work at all!
It doesn't work at all.
Please take it up in the news!
That's amazing!
You're doing it right!
That's good!
You're doing it right!
I'll look it up later.
You're doing it right!
Ms. Mita Fuji, please.
I...
From a certain magazine...
I've finally received an offer to be an Aijin.
I'm finally an Aijin character too.
But I...
I don't have a problem with money.
What? What? What?
What do you mean?
There's such a magazine?
Aijin?
It's a pretty big one.
From Marumaru Boy...
Marumaru Boy?
Yes.
It seems that there is a chance to be an Aijin.
I got a direct offer from there.
I want to be an Aijin right now.
You're not Manami Hashimoto anymore.
You're Ms. Mita Fuji.
I want to be an Aijin character.
I wonder how much you'll get if you go on a date once.
I'm going to spend a little.
Please listen to me.
But it's okay, right?
How much is your father's net worth?
My father's net worth is 6 billion yen.
But it's not about money.
I'm a little worried about how you'll treat me as an Aijin.
I want to hear it.
I'm so excited.
You're going to be an Aijin, right?
I see.
What's the guy who compares himself to others?
I'm me.
I'll kill you.
What?
You don't have to kill me.
What happened?
There's a guy who compares himself to others.
It's really annoying.
Others are others.
I'm me.
I really want to kill him.
There are a lot of people in that situation now.
It's an awkward time.
But don't kill me.
There's nothing good in killing me.
Don't make me hate you.
What kind of harassment do you want me to do?
What do you want me to do?
I'll kill you.
I'm scared.
I'll check it later.
Let's do the last one!
Recently, a taxi driver was reported as a stalker. Please follow the rules and support everyone.
Are you okay with being a stalker?
I don't have a stalker.
You don't have one? You said it for me.
Are you okay with being a taxi driver?
He didn't let me get off the taxi once.
I told him my address.
But he just passed by.
I said, I'm sorry, but I'll get off.
He said, okay.
Where did he take you?
I don't know.
Some people don't get off the taxi to get more money.
You're a stalker until you get more money.
I'm scared.
I'm scared of money, too.
Okubo, are you okay?
Let's move on to the next one.
Tears and sweat in the public school will always be a source of living.
High school students, do your best!
What kind of position are you talking about?
What kind of attitude is that?
Did you watch it?
Yes, I did.
Tewi Otsuka won.
Everyone was crying and sweating.
They were doing their best.
But I don't want them to give up.
Don't give up?
I wanted to tell everyone that they will always be a source of living.
You wanted to express the feelings of a high school student?
You've been thinking about that lately, haven't you?
Yes, I did.
But you wanted to say it, didn't you?
Yes, I did.
Did you get it?
Yes, I got it.
High school students are so emotional.
When you move people's hearts, you get emotional.
Yes, that's right.
That's emotional.
Go ahead.
Those of you who only take Instagram photos at Disney, no matter how hard you try, you won't change, you idiot!
You're so strict.
You're so strict with ugly people.
There are a lot of ugly people.
What's going on?
Are you okay?
Are you angry?
Did you eat this?
No, I didn't.
Are you okay?
You're so strict with ugly people.
I hate ugly people.
Do you hate ugly people?
I hate ugly people.
Why do you hate them?
I get angry when they try to take a cute photo of me.
If you were me, how would you react?
Yeah!
Did you get a treatment or something?
You just got it, right?
You should keep your hair clean.
I get it. I get that there are people like that.
Keep it up!
Sexless couples in the world!
Get more sex communication and love each other!
Sex communication?
What do you mean by sex communication?
I think Japanese men and women are too embarrassed to say where they feel good or what they want.
I see.
It's hard to say something.
You can say it.
I'm the one who says it.
If you say it, you can be with that person forever, right?
For example, tell me where you feel good and what you want to say.
Tell me how to say it.
Twist my right nipple with these two fingers.
If you say that, will you do that?
Will you do that?
She did it for me.
You have to say it.
My partner, Ooshima, told her husband to twist her nipple a lot.
Then she got a scab.
She got a scab.
That's how good it feels.
You can get a scab?
I don't know.
It depends on the person.
You can get a scab?
Yes.
You have to choose the one that feels good.
Please say it.
You can twist your nipple.
Don't be embarrassed.
It's okay.
Got it.
Abe-san, it's time for you to get a grip on yourself!
Politics?
Can you stop with the political stuff?
Abe-san, can you be more specific?
I want to be specific.
You haven't been to Japan, right?
I've been to the world.
I've been playing golf.
That's not true!
You haven't been playing golf.
I'm worried about the future.
I understand.
You should study more.
I'll be like Murakoto.
You'll go to a lot of places.
Next!
Where are you going to use the new national stadium?
Say that again.
Kanda?
Did you eat it?
Kanda means...
Today...
It's not pie.
Please.
Kanda grew it up carefully.
That's good.
Vertically.
That's good.
It was close.
It was good.
It's good to stand up.
It was a good technique.
Please eat it carefully.
Next.
What is it?
Aoi.
The person behind is close to the cash register.
It's annoying.
It's close.
Aoi is close to the cash register.
It's been a long time.
It's not true.
It's been a week.
What were you doing?
I was moving.
It took a long time.
It's hard to move.
It's the last.
Next.
Momonoki.
Kokoichi.
Don't ask me twice because I ordered 1 kg of curry.
It's embarrassing.
1 kg of curry.
Why?
I can eat 1 kg of curry.
You can eat curry?
I can eat curry.
I think that the manager ordered 1 kg of curry.
I was asked many times.
You eat a lot.
I eat a lot.
I want you to do it again.
You eat a lot.
Don't be surprised.
Next.
Yasuko.
Yasuko is coming.
I thought there was a piece of food around my mouth.
But it was blood.
It was a creature.
I can't tell the difference between a piece of food and a piece of blood.
I'm scared.
I'm sad.
I can't see the difference.
It's blood.
I'm scared.
That's all for tonight's Dance Works Wide Show.
Let's meet again if you want to dance more.
Let's move on to the next corner.
Ishioka-san, Mito-chan, let's do it.
Buy it! Wide Telephone!
In this corner, we will check if a celebrity is making a phone call to a celebrity, and if they are doing something that could be taken up by a wide show.
Today, we will be calling Kano Eiko-chan.
Eiko-chan knows that a call is coming from Muscat, but she doesn't know what kind of call it is.
Eiko-chan has done a lot of things before.
That's right.
She is working hard to correct her past mistakes.
I wonder if she has become more serious recently.
I wonder if she has.
Let's call her.
Let's check.
I wonder if she will answer the phone.
She seems to be doing something dangerous.
I wonder if she will answer the phone.
She answered the phone.
Hello.
Yes.
I am Mita from the midnight wide show.
Yes.
I am Mita Fujin.
I am Ishioka Mai.
Yes.
Hello.
Eiko-chan?
Yes.
How are you doing recently?
Yes.
How are you doing recently?
I'm doing my best.
I see.
Are you a middle-aged man?
No, I'm a middle-aged woman.
I'm Mai Ishioka.
You seem to have made a lot of mistakes in the past.
I called you today to check what you've been up to lately.
Yes.
Yes?
First of all, is it true that you run a shrine?
My family runs a shrine in Miyagi Prefecture.
We hold festivals and New Year's parties.
We do our best.
At your family's shrine?
Yes.
Do you really run a shrine?
Is it true?
It's a must.
Are you lying?
I'm sorry.
I asked if your information is true.
I'm doing my best.
That's good.
You've been selling pachinko, haven't you?
What?
Do you make a lot of money?
What?
Do you make a lot of money?
No, I don't make a lot of money.
How much do you make?
No, I don't make a lot of money.
I make a lot of money by running a pachinko program.
How much do you make by running a pachinko program?
I make 5,000 yen once.
How much do you make by running a pachinko program?
To be honest, I don't know because I've never calculated how much I make once.
If it's not once, how many times do you make?
I see. That's fine, too.
On Instagram, you said you put in a tattoo.
You lied like shit and criticized it, but is that okay?
Wait a minute.
I put in a tattoo on Instagram.
It's not a shit, it's a joke.
What?
I put in a QR code tattoo.
That's a shit-like criticism.
It's not a criticism.
I put up a tattoo I bought at Hanzo.
I thought people would laugh at me.
I have a favorite gag.
I heard you have a favorite gag.
I'd like to ask you about that, so I'll change.
Hello, this is Ishioka.
I'd like to ask you about Eiko's gag.
What was it?
The noodles you make me eat.
That's not it.
That's not me.
That's not it.
That's it.
Ramen, tsukemen, makoto, and suimamen.
That's it.
Nostalgic.
That was popular.
Please do it.
I'm sorry.
Please do it.
That's not it.
Ramen, tsukemen, and I'm handsome.
That's not it.
Do the one from your hometown.
My hometown?
To be honest, I don't really speak out loud in Iwate.
It doesn't matter.
Do it properly.
Tsukemen, ramen, and I'm handsome.
What? What? What?
The signal is bad.
I can't hear you.
The signal is bad. Do it again.
Tsukemen, ramen, and I'm handsome.
That's not it.
That's not Kano-san.
That's not it.
I'll change to Mita-fujin.
Hello, this is Mita-fujin.
Mita-fujin?
I have one more question.
Eiko, have you been playing with girls lately?
That's the most important thing to check.
Playing with girls?
You used to have five legs, right?
No, I have eight legs.
What? Six legs?
No, not six legs.
The most information I've seen is that you have eight legs.
What?
Eiko, you have eight legs.
No, I don't.
No matter how handsome you are.
I know.
You have a girlfriend now.
I'm a quiet person.
You're not a quiet person. You have a girlfriend now.
No, I don't.
You're the announcer of a local station.
Thank you very much.
It's getting a lot of attention.
Isn't there another one?
Dokumo.
Ah, Dokumo!
The one from Tinzashi.
There's Dokumo.
Did you go to Tinzashi?
I did.
Isn't there a commercial?
There's a commercial.
No, there isn't.
Don't spread rumors like that.
No, no, no, no.
We're trying to come up with ideas.
Ishioka is trying to come up with an idea.
It's going to change a bit.
Yes.
You know, the mascots are trying to come up with ideas.
Eiko-chan's ideas are crazy.
If that's the case, it's all fake.
No, no, no, no.
We're trying to come up with really crazy ideas.
Can I say it here?
Say it, say it, say it.
I'll say it.
Don't say it.
I'll say it.
I'm serious.
If you don't want me to say it, say, I'm sorry.
Wait a minute. What's that?
There's that, right?
Say, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry?
I'm sorry.
Say it, say it.
I'll say it.
Say it.
Wait a minute.
Can I say it?
No, no, no, no.
Stop it.
It's a prank call.
No, no, no, no.
It's a prank call.
Check, check, check.
I'll cut it.
You're going to cut it?
You cut it?
I cut it.
You cut it?
Yes.
I thought I'd say it, but you cut it.
Do you want to call again?
Call again.
Let's call again.
She didn't say it at the end.
I see.
She didn't say, I'm sorry.
She didn't say it at the end.
What kind of person is she?
She is a bit sloppy.
Let's go to the commercial.
After the commercial, we will play a new game.
Midnight Wild Show
The next game is here.
It is a reading consultation.
She is a great person.
In this stressful society, there are many people who have troubles.
In this game, Tatsumi Shiina will solve the real problems of such people.
Tatsumi-san, thank you for your cooperation today.
She is reading a lot.
Look at this.
There are many people who have troubles.
Are you having troubles?
It is a bit dark.
It is dark, isn't it?
Let's start with the first person.
Please tell me your name and occupation.
I'm Ui Mita.
My occupation is the president.
Die.
She said die.
Die. Die.
I'd like to ask you a few questions.
Are you sure?
Yes, please go ahead.
I play the role of a gravure actress.
I've been praised for my neck and butt.
But I've never been praised for my chest.
That's what the doctor said.
What?
I'm not sure.
Can I continue?
Yes, please.
I got an offer to play the role of a breast scum.
I'm known for playing the role of a female cup.
But I was told that I was supposed to play the role of a female cup.
I was a little worried about that.
I'm not sure if I should play the role of a breast scum.
That's why I'm here today.
The doctor will give you some advice.
Thank you very much.
I'm going to pour shit into your eyeballs.
That's what the doctor said.
Shit?
Yes.
A loose one.
Don't put it in a hard one.
Yes, sir.
Is that okay?
I'm going to pour shit into your eyeballs.
Yes, sir.
Thank you very much.
You're welcome.
Please step down.
Next, please.
Yes, ma'am.
Welcome.
May I have your name and occupation?
I'm Shiori Kamisaki.
I'm a pianist and AV actress.
That's nice.
It's rare.
Please tell me about your problems.
I have a big breast.
People say it's good, but I don't have cute underwear.
I'm a woman, so I want to wear cute underwear, but I often don't have the right size.
I'm worried that I don't have cute underwear.
I understand.
It's hard to find the right size.
Please say a word to your teacher.
I'll make you cry or laugh.
What does that mean?
Cry or laugh.
What does that mean?
From now on.
Die, die, die, die, die.
That's all.
Next, please.
Your name and occupation, please.
I'm Kana Yume. I'm a pornographer.
Please tell us about your problems.
My problem is that I put too much effort into everything.
I get very tired.
So I'd like you to teach me how to relax.
You're a hard worker.
Yes, I am.
I'm sure it'll be easier if you listen to me.
Please, teacher.
Use a rope to hang your neck.
That was the best thing I've heard today.
Thank you.
I'll punch your lower lip with all my strength.
That'll make you feel better.
Yes, I'll be able to concentrate on physical pain.
I'll punch you with all my strength later.
Thank you.
Please wait.
Thank you.
Next, please.
Your name and occupation, please.
I'm Mai Ishioka. I'm a gravure idol.
My problem is that I can't love people anymore.
I'm 27 years old.
I want to find someone I love and start a family.
I understand.
You understand, don't you?
I haven't been able to do that yet.
Are you a very serious person?
Maybe so.
I have faith in you.
Let's listen to the teacher's words.
It's so boring.
Eat with the people who can't work around there.
I understand.
Let's burn all the eyelashes.
I want to eat with the people who can't work around there.
I'm over there.
I'll burn the eyelashes.
I want to go.
I understand.
I'll go now.
It's almost 1 o'clock.
I'll go.
See you later.
Next person, please.
Your name and occupation, please.
I'm Akino Fujiwara.
I'm a stage actor.
I wonder if it's true.
You have a big face, so you're a stage actor.
I'm a stage actor.
I feel like I have a lot of hair.
Please tell me your worries.
I have a full schedule, but I don't have any money.
What should I do?
It's easy to understand.
I don't know if I can do my best now.
Let's ask the teacher.
Please.
I'll cut you into pieces.
Which do you prefer, horizontal or vertical?
Which one do you prefer?
Horizontal.
Which one do you prefer?
Horizontal.
I see.
The shape is still there.
Horizontal.
It's dynamic.
Yes.
It's rare.
I'll cut it vertically.
Okay.
I'm looking forward to working with you.
Okay.
Please step back.
Next, please.
She looks unhappy.
Please tell us your name and occupation.
I'm Kayoko Okubo.
I'm a monster.
I see.
A monster.
I see.
I'm not a monster.
I'm a gravure artist.
Weekly magazine.
I have seven pages.
It's a familiar body.
Some of them were popular.
May I ask you a question?
When you're 46 years old,
you're afraid of love.
There are men who invite you to love.
Are you afraid of love?
But you can't be happy if you don't move.
What should you do?
I know how you feel.
Thank you.
But you're very attractive.
We think it's a waste.
I think so, too.
I don't know my own charm.
I'd like you to tell me your charm.
Okay.
Please.
Please tell us your charm.
Go back to the pigsty.
Welcome back.
Let's make all your beds P-tan.
Beds? P-tan?
Like grey.
Color? Material?
Material? Mattress? P-tan?
It's soft, so it smells good.
It smells, doesn't it?
P-tan.
P-tan in a good place doesn't smell.
Can you do it in a luxury place?
It's a long monster.
I'm sorry.
I hate monsters.
Can you step back?
There's another person.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I hate monsters.
This might not be good.
Be careful.
Next person, please.
Please introduce yourself.
I'm Subuto.
My job is to deal with the ugly.
I have a problem.
I'm 28 years old.
I'm worried about my future.
I don't have a job.
I don't have money.
You can go home.
I haven't said it yet.
Go back to Busan.
It's easier to understand if you say it like this.
Busan?
I'm going back to Busan.
Go back to Busan.
I'm going back to Busan.
Thank you very much.
You can go home.
Hurry up and step back.
Next person, please.
Please introduce yourself.
I'm Masami Ichikawa.
I'm a sexy actress.
I don't know my value as a human being. What should I do?
You are very beautiful.
You have a lot of value, but Goho doesn't agree with you.
Let's ask the teacher.
Please, teacher.
I'm going to use this for the rest of my life.
She is not feeling well.
I'm sorry.
I'm going to change the atmosphere.
I'm sorry, teacher.
It's our fault.
Kurosawa-san, please do your best.
I'm sorry.
Are you OK?
I'm sorry.
Teacher.
The sound.
The teacher heard the sound.
What should I do?
Can I find my value?
Please, teacher.
I'm going to use this for the rest of my life.
I'm going to put 20 sugar cubes in my mouth.
If you put 20 sugar cubes in your mouth, you can feel happiness.
I'm a little thin, so I think it's just right to be soft.
20 sugar cubes in each mouth.
We?
I'll prepare it for you later.
Thank you very much.
I'm glad.
I'm glad you're fine.
Smile.
Is it okay if I call you?
Are you okay?
Yes, I'm fine.
Next person, please.
Please tell me your name and occupation.
I'm Riku Minato.
I'm a flutist.
I'm embarrassed.
I'm a flutist, but I still wear makeup at this age.
I don't know the reason.
I'm afraid of wearing makeup when I'm sleeping with other people.
Is there any good way?
We are moved by your courage to confess.
I'm sure there are many people in the country who are worried about the same thing.
Ms. Kurosawa, please come closer.
I have a 23-centimeter 50cc urine receipt.
I still have it.
This is real.
Do it right.
It was my own advice.
I'll give you some advice from the teacher.
I'll kick your eyeballs out and let you stick your nose into your skull.
Do you understand?
Yes, I do.
Then, you won't have to worry about the urine receipt.
Shall we use the nose?
Use the nose?
Not the nose, but the nose.
Use the nose.
Like this.
With the tip of the nose.
The nose.
The nose of the one who has a bad nose.
This nose?
Isn't it this nose?
Yes, that nose.
With the nose, please.
We'll see later.
It might be better with the food.
Yes.
Please wait a moment.
Please take your time.
Next, please.
Excuse me.
Kurosawa, your explanation is long.
I'm sorry.
I thought I still had time until the end.
I'm sorry.
Please.
I'm sorry.
My name is Kana Momonogi.
I'm an AV actress.
At night, I find it annoying to hear the neighbors' singing.
If you were a teacher, how would you tell them that you're bothering them?
I don't want to be a trouble.
I want them to do it gently.
That's right.
I want to tell them well.
Sensei, please.
I'm going to kill you.
Sensei.
Sensei?
I'm going to throw your beloved manager into the river.
Manager-san.
And Osuki.
Donbura-ko.
Donbura-ko, Donbura-ko.
Is that okay?
I don't think it's okay.
I'll try to find a solution.
That's the solution.
Thank you very much.
Next, please.
Your name and occupation, please.
My name is Mirei Kurosawa. I'm in the talent business.
I have a bad habit of hiding.
I'm 29 now, but I'm worried about getting married.
How can I be more active?
Active...
It's hard to change.
I need a chance.
Please give me a chance.
You have three choices.
One, death penalty.
Two, death penalty.
Three, death penalty.
Choose one.
Please choose.
I'll choose.
I'll choose number two.
Death penalty.
Go home.
Excuse me.
Next, please.
Your name and occupation, please.
My name is Hanami Natsume. I'm a talent.
My problem is that when I go out to eat with someone I like,
I can't really order what I like.
I want to order green onion, egg and rice, but I order egg soup.
I want to eat green onion ramen, but I order yuzu salt ramen.
I can't really order what I want to eat in front of someone I really like.
I'm worried.
But you like her, so you can lie to her.
That's a woman's heart.
Yes, it is.
Then, teacher, please.
Eat garbage with Kusobusu.
Kusobusu?
What kind of garbage is it?
Aluminum?
Let's do a high heel and bang your ears.
Your ears are in your arms, so it's easy to do it.
I'll do it with my shoes.
Please sit down.
Next person, please.
Please tell me your name and occupation.
I'm Aoi Tsukasa. I'm an AV actress.
My problem is that I've been thinking that
I mixed cat food with bonito flakes, soy sauce and mayonnaise.
But everyone told me that it was different, so I mixed miso soup with rice.
I was told that it was miso soup with rice, but I think it was miso soup with rice.
What do you think?
Certainly, it is difficult to make katsuo-bushi like that.
It depends on the region.
Let's ask.
What do you think, teacher?
The world is safe while there are people like you in this world.
Safe.
I see.
That's good.
Let's put glue in the keyhole of your house.
I can't go home.
I can't open it.
I just moved.
Please take a look at the keyhole.
I think there is glue in it.
If it is a wood glue, sometimes it comes off miraculously.
It comes off beautifully.
Thank you very much.
Welcome back.
I'm Misaki Tamuro.
What's your problem?
A fortune teller told me that I would be pregnant this year.
I'm worried about it, so I came to consult with you.
I see.
You're worried.
How old are you?
I'm 26 years old.
I see. You're a teacher, aren't you?
The trash is from the trash can.
You're not feeling well, are you?
Are you okay?
I'm sorry.
Get out!
Are you okay?
I'm okay.
She's okay.
I have a runny nose.
I told you.
I'm sorry.
Please think about what I said earlier.
That was my answer.
I see.
Please think about it.
Please go home.
I'm glad you're okay.
I wish you all happiness.
Thank you very much.
By the way, I have a problem, too.
Can I ask you a question?
We're going to have an event with fans in May.
Will there be any guests?
Please.
You're a really stupid woman.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
I'm so happy.
I'll be fine, I'll be fine
I love you
I'll cheer you up
It's all right, it's all right
I'm fine!
Aishite ne
Please love me
Nokosazu zenbu
I won't leave anything behind
Aishite ne
I won't leave anything behind
That was so cute!
I think it's great that you did your best in the last row!
It was fun!
That's all for this week! Bye bye!
I don't really give a damn