AISubs v3.5
I'm glad I got a job today, I'm in a good mood so I'll eat something around here.
Oh, there's a Chinese restaurant, this is nice, let's go in.
Excuse me.
Welcome, please come in.
Whoa!
Hey, what's up?
What's up? What's up?
Are you okay?
What's up?
Watch out! Watch out!
That's right!
Tell me!
Kojima is here!
Really, Kojima?!
Oh, I see. Yes, Kojima.
You really came all the way here!
Hurry up and get me some water!
Yes, yes, yes!
You're really excited.
I'm sorry for making you wait...
Hey, hey, hey!
What are you doing?! Hurry up and get me water!
Calm down!
I'm sorry!
It's cold!
We're Kojima's fans!
It's okay!
We're sorry!
We're all your fans!
We're all your fans?
Yes, I always thought you wouldn't come someday.
Oh, really?
That makes me happy.
Um...
Can I get your autograph?
Oh, of course!
Oh, I see!
I'm sorry, but can you sign this for me?
Oh, you have quite a few.
Thank you.
This many?
It's like a dream.
It was worth waiting for!
This many?
Thank you.
I've been waiting for this for about seven years!
That long?!
Yes.
I've been waiting for you all my life.
No, no, you don't have to wait for me all your life.
There wasn't a day when I didn't see you on TV!
That's right!
No, no, you don't have to do that.
Excuse me...
Can I have your menu?
Oh, no!
I'm sorry!
I'm so happy!
Oh, here's the menu!
Oh, it was here!
Yes!
I'm sorry!
I couldn't see it.
Here you go.
Can I have some ramen?
Ramen?
Yes!
Ramen-chan!
What are you doing?!
You're making it, aren't you?!
Oh, I'm sorry!
I got lost because of Kojima-san!
I don't like this!
Hurry up and go!
I'm back!
Welcome back!
Hey!
Ko, ko, ko...
It is Kojima!
Say "Kojima-san"!
Kojima-san, Kojima-san!
- It's not a dream! - It's not a dream!?
- Can you touch me? Can you? - Can you?
- I'm asking you if you can touch me! - Can you?
- I said, can you touch me? - It's true! I can touch you!
- You can touch me! - It's not a dream!
Can I take a picture of you?
You have a great reaction.
Thank you.
I'll go.
What is this?
I think you should stop.
Thank you.
Thank you for waiting, Kojima.
Thank you for the meal.
It looks delicious.
Can you go back to work?
I'm sorry.
I came here because I wanted my family and Kojima to eat ramen.
I see.
Thank you for the meal.
Please eat.
Thank you for the meal.
Oh my, you are all dressed up.
Today is the day! Would you like me to beat you up?
I'm sorry, but please go home today.
Yes, ma'am.
And you, too!
You can't say "Yes, ma'am"!
I've been waiting for you for a long time.
I don't want to stand here again.
You have a lot of debt, don't you?
Just sell this place and start over.
Right, ma'am?
I can't sell this shop until I make Kojima-san's dream of eating my ramen come true.
A shop where even customers like you can't enter! Sell it!
We have customers.
Look.
Huh?
Look.
Oh, there were customers.
You're in the way.
I'm here to talk about something important.
Is it closed again today?
Kojima-san is still eating, isn't he?
And you've been calling me "Kojima" for a while now.
Who are you?
I'm Kojima!
Oh, you're Kojima.
Please go home today.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, but please go home for today.
These people...
I thought they would come someday, so I've been running this ramen shop for a long time.
And I happened to be here today.
Today is such an important day!
So go home!
That's right.
Today is the day I've been waiting for!
What?
So your dream came true?
It's going to come true today!
So let's talk about the shop tomorrow.
In front of Kojima-san, a star, I don't want to show you such an embarrassing story.
Kojima-san, a star, please do it again.
Today...
Give up and come back tomorrow! Go back!
Can't be helped.
Then, I'll fix it again tomorrow.
At least enjoy the last supper.
Kojima-san, thank you so much!
You really saved me! Thank you!
I was just happy with your feelings.
Thank you so much.
That's right!
Can you show me your gag?
That's right!
It's popular!
That's right!
Is it a gag?
That's right!
This is it!
It has nothing to do with it!
Here you go!
That's Kojima's prediction!
It's not "wow"!
"Ikari TV" presents "AKB48 Cons - Nani Mo Soko Made?"
Iwata Karen's "How to Be American" Joke
In this corner, Iwata Karen will deliver a cozy and fun American-style joke.
The other day, my wife told me...
"There's so much mess in the house...
...throw away everything you don't need."
And then I realized...
I was in the trash can!
How nice! I want a diamond ring, too!
If you give me one of these and propose to me...
...I'll say yes right away!
Which one?
This one.
One million yen?!
Don't worry! I'm not expecting much.
Sorry.
It's okay.
Instead...
More than anyone else...
Love... me... okay?
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
Okay. Wait for me here.
Okay.
One million yen...
Are you looking for something?
Huh?
Oh, this one. It's nice, isn't it?
I don't think there's a woman in the world...
...who doesn't like a ring like this.
But...
It's okay.
Huh?
You're not buying it?
No.
It's financial.
Oh, I see.
You're not buying it?
No.
A million yen is impossible for me.
Who are you?
I am the ally of justice, Credit Card Man.
Let me explain.
The ally of justice, Credit Card Man is...
I'm going to proceed with sweet words, but when I put my hand out, it's fraud.
It's a vicious yellow that requires illegal financial measures.
You want this ring, don't you?
Yeah, I do.
But I can't buy a ring that costs a million yen.
That's what you thought, didn't you?
But I can buy you that ring, too.
What?
You don't have to pay me all at once.
Why don't you pay me little by little every month?
You're right.
Now, if you put your hand in here, I'll pay you.
Really?
Really, really, really.
Okay, thank you.
Wait!
What?
I am the ally of justice, Credit Card Man!
Don't do it!
Coscosman is...
He doesn't go shopping and spends all his money.
He is a super realistic hero.
What are you doing here?
You shut up!
I often think about it.
If you borrow money, you will be in short supply.
Do you have that ability?
I'm not sure.
What should I do if I can't pay you back?
Then you should save money and buy this ring when you have one million yen.
Then you should propose to her.
Stupid!
If you do that, she will be taken by another man.
What are you talking about?
What should I do?
What's wrong?
Who are you?
Actually, when I was looking at this ring, these two appeared to me.
Now, you should buy this ring on loan.
I'm sure she wants it, too.
No, you should save it.
I'm sure she likes realistic men, too.
What?
Now, hurry up!
No, don't apologize.
Damn it! What should I do?
Somebody, help me!
Leave it to me.
I'm a super rich man.
I'm a platinum cardman.
Yes, she is a platinum cardman and a super rich man.
What's wrong?
Baby, give me this ring.
Yes, ma'am.
Right now.
What's that card?
This one?
This card is a platinum card that only super rich men can have.
It's wonderful!
I don't have anything like it in the world.
Thank you for waiting.
This is a diamond ring.
I'm sure you'll like it.
Let me go!
I'm so happy!
Thank you, platinum cardman!
Let's go eat steak!
Yeah!
Are you kidding me? Are you afraid of girls?
I forget girls like you.
Yoko Yamayui's mean quiz corner!
Let's go!
Question!
There is a man and a woman who are cooling down hot soup in a restaurant.
What is their relationship like?
5
4
3
2
1
The answer is...
cooling down soup
couple
I don't care.
You're a stupid quiz.
She is in a washing machine in a very ordinary house.
She is washing machines, but she is also very careful.
My hands are dry.
My hands are red.
I should wash my hands.
I don't like hand washing.
Someone is coming.
It's my son.
It stinks!
Eww!
It stinks!
It's really dirty!
What kind of dirty washing machine do you think you're using?
You're making a big mistake!
Is my son okay?
He doesn't look like he can play baseball or anything.
And he doesn't look like he can play basketball or anything.
Good people don't do this kind of dirty work.
I guess I'll leave it like this.
Good people don't do this kind of dirty work.
Well, it's raw, but whatever.
Here I go.
It went in!
Someone else came.
Stupid woman.
I told you, don't put it in while I'm washing!
If she's like this, I don't like her at all.
Ah, what's with this dress?
It's a branded dress.
Don't put it in while I'm washing!
What if it shrinks?
Even so, this dress is expensive.
How can you buy a dress like this?
Even though it's such a normal house.
By the way, that guy.
There's a man.
Is it okay for a man to be healthy and single?
Isn't it better for me to play baseball than my son?
Right?
Who is it this time?
Is it a bad man?
Is it in the middle of washing?
What is it?
Huh?
What is this?
Whose is it?
A young woman shouldn't wear a lipstick like this.
By the way, that guy.
You're cheating!
It smells like perfume.
I have to wear this.
I won't take this lipstick off!
Who is it?
Now!
It's a young woman!
I wonder if I forgot to put it in...
What is this?!
Hey you! You!
Did I overdo it a little?
Oh well, I have to calm down a little in order to save this family.
Well, I'm a little tired, so I'll take a break.
I'm really tired today, too.
Huh?
Who's there?
Oh, hello!
You're late.
You...
The way you dirty your uniform is unusual.
You suck at this, don't you?
How do you know that?!
Because of the washing machine.
Huh?
Huh?!
I'm scared! Mom! Mom!
I'm Takashima Yui!
This is Nakamura Maniko's...
"Just do your best and you'll get 100 yen!" segment!
Are you okay?!
In this segment, we'll do various challenges and in the meantime, we'll be on-air.
For the big-bodied AKB48 members, we'll do our best and you'll remember our names.
It's a precious segment!
Arigataki shiawase...
Alright, let's do it!
Here's what we'll do in order to get 100 yen!
Let's do it.
Yeah, let's do it.
Okay.
One, two...
Rock, paper, scissors!
Yay, it's over!
What was that?!
Why won't you let me in?!
You'll let me in!
Why won't you let me in?!
You looked like you were saying "choki" from the beginning!
But...
Isn't it rude to say it out loud?
Even if you say it like that...
This man appeared in the dressing room of a department store's hero show.
Actually...
He was listed in the company's history book, and because of that, his hands were stained with theft.
What a pitiful man.
It was at that moment...
Hey!
Where are you?!
Hurry up and come!
Oh, she's here!
What are you doing, Fight Rangers?!
It's your turn now!
No...
Let's go!
No, no, no!
Why?
Aren't you done yet?
Can you hurry up and do it for me?
No, no, no!
What is it?
This?
Do you want me to put it on for you?
Okay, put it on for me!
Hurry up!
Now!
Hurry up!
Now!
It's hot!
It's not hot!
Okay, okay!
Let's go!
She couldn't reveal her identity...
Finally, she went on stage!
Okay, let's do it!
You finally did it, Fight Rangers!
Wow!
Fight Rangers did it!
Okay, you guys...
Catch it!
Wow!
Damn, fight ranger. When did you learn such a technique?
Am I the only one who can't stand it? The game is over. Prepare yourself!
Um, I'm sorry. Actually, I...
It's okay. You don't have to say it now.
Damn, you're pretty tough.
It's about time for you to cross your hands in front of your chest and fire a powerful beam.
It's not the time for a fight beam, is it?
Didn't you hear me?!
Don't cross your hands in front of your chest and fire a fight beam.
If you do that, the game will be over.
Listen up. Don't cross your hands in front of your chest and fire a fight beam.
Damn! That's... a fight beam!
Ayama-chan, anyone can make mistakes. If you can do this, fix your life!
Gaito Ranger... you're... done for!
And the show ended.
Kosodoro returned to the dressing room.
Ayama-chan, anyone can make mistakes. If you can do this, fix your life!
Yes, I'm sorry.
Hmm?
Actually, I tried to steal your wallet.
I'm a thief.
I tried to hide and put on this helmet, but I had to go on stage.
A thief...
I was dismissed from the company.
I have a wife and children, but what should I do?
So, I just...
I'm really sorry!
Well, look up.
So you stole my wallet?
In the end, I couldn't find it...
Then it's fine!
Huh?
No, Katayama-san! She's a thief!
No, it's not like she didn't steal anything.
I only stole one big thing.
Huh?
That's...
The hearts of our children!
And...
Our hearts...
When did you know?
I knew it all!
That's right.
I knew you were a thief.
Of course, you didn't move like that.
But there's one more thing I noticed right away.
You have the quality of becoming a hero.
You have the quality of giving dreams to children.
Anyway, the children and the sins and thoughts that stole our hearts...
I'm going to make sure you're ready for the show here.
That mask is yours from now on.
Thank you!
I'm sorry! I'm late! I'm sorry!
What are you doing?!
Huh? This is my mask!
Huh? What's going on?!
You're fired!
Whaaaat?!
You scared me, Rin! You're so mean!
In this segment...
In the dressing room of AKB48...
An unmanned camera is set up...
And the members are allowed to do whatever they want.
In the dressing room of AKB48...
Huh?
Don't look at me like that!
Bye-bye!
See you!
I wanted to do this, too!
What are you doing?
I wanted to do this, too!
This is really arresting!
Okay! Let's call the police!
What's going on?!
Are you okay?
No, I don't know what you're talking about.
About seven years ago...
About seven years ago... Huh?
Isn't it too early for that?
Don't worry about your head.
See you!
In Iwasami Saki's "Consultation and Encouragement" segment...
In this segment...
I, Iwasami Saki, will solve your problems with my specialty...
In addition, I will encourage you!
Okay! Let's go!
Before moving to Tokyo, her pen name...
In Iwasami Saki's third single...
"Tomonora Bojou (Coupling)"...
"Fortune Cookie in Love"...
The extended version is also included!
I'm worried about something right now.
When I told my friends...
Don't worry about such a small thing!
They told me...
Am I worrying too much?
I'm worried!
Now, I will answer your questions!
If you are actually worried about something,
It's nothing to be ashamed of,
But you have to tell me what it is you're worried about,
Even if I try to answer you,
I can't answer you.
But I like your modest personality.