AISubs v3.5
*applause*
Well, Wednesday's Dum Dum, everyone, please take care of me!
Please take care of me!
It's fine, it's fine, you have money, you can do it.
Well, let's go!
The presenter is this person, please!
Oh, hello!
Yes, it's nice to meet you!
It's nice to meet you, please take care of me.
Please take care of me.
Immediately,
Right now in this variety show, there are various comedy contests, right?
Yes, there are.
Like "R-1" or "R-1 King of Contest" or "W".
These contests are generally divided by the format of the story, number of people, and gender.
However, this time, we have brought a contest with a new perspective.
Eh, is there still such a thing?
Here it is!
"31 GRAND PRIX"!
Yes.
This is a short story comedy contest where you compete with stories within 30 seconds.
So, within 30 seconds, any genre of story is fine.
I see.
It's not a story genre anymore, it's from a perspective that has never been divided by time.
This is really something you want to do once a year.
But, if this winner becomes famous, it will become like that, right?
Yes, that's right.
But, has a star ever come out of past Wednesday's Dum Dum?
Stop it!
What do you mean by "Dum Dum"?
Please answer me!
Yes, yes.
In the first place, has "Dum Dum" come out of this?
Is that what you're thinking of?
With that said, from the entry number of 656 teams,
according to the original judging results, 40 teams will enter the main event!
In the main event tournament, 5 teams will be divided into 5 blocks and present their stories in VTR.
The 5 teams that overcome each block will advance to the finals!
And the judges will be Matsumoto Hitoshi and these gorgeous members!
Who will shine as the first 31 champions?
31 Grand Prix.
Let's start with Block A.
Entry No. 1, Chocolate Planet.
Let's lift it up next year!
Don't do it! Doremi's song!
Let's scatter the dead!
Ra will dress up as Ra's people!
Xi will kick the deer!
Now, let's sing!
30 seconds.
Entry No. 3, Double Art.
It's got to be me!
Wow, I've never seen a place like this!
I'm getting so excited!
Can I talk to you?
No, but I don't have a chance like this. I should talk to you.
Excuse me! Excuse me!
Could you shake my hand?
Excuse me! Thank you!
It's got to be me, right?
Fa...
Fakae!
Well, well, well...
One hit, right? One hit for a joke.
Entry No. 4
Wow, he looks strong! He looks strong!
From now on, this T-shirt will make you a bunny girl!
Music, start!
(laughs)
Face, face! (laughs)
In the end, it's a face!
Entry No. 5!
It's a big name!
It's really luxurious!
Doggy, you're cute, aren't you? Thank you!
Doggy, you're so cute!
Oh, thank you!
Can you play with our words?
Oh, uncle, uncle!
I don't have a dog.
Since when?
I don't know!
Huh? Since when?
Why didn't you notice?
Are you stupid?
Didn't you leave it at home?
I'll go home and ask.
Hello!
Oh, thank you!
Yes, excuse me!
Thank goodness!
How was it?
It's a hamburger tonight!
It doesn't matter!
See you later!
It's amazing!
It was a real story.
There's a lot of money in it!
Entry No. 6!
Westland!
He's a man of logic!
When I was a kid, I went to a swimming school.
Well, I didn't have enough time, so I quit right away.
Then I started soccer.
At first, I wanted to be good and become a game leaguer, or play overseas, or play world cup.
It was good enough just to meet my teammates.
There are more children who don't move their bodies now.
By all means!
Do some sports and gain good fitness!
Thank you very much!
It's difficult!
Entry No. 7!
70,000 Yen!
Hey you! Can you buy this for 20,000 Yen?
What's that?
This is a fake hint. It's silver.
Silver? What's a fake hint?
What do you think?
It's disgusting, isn't it?
I don't know!
Come on, buy it for me!
No, I don't want it!
I won't do that!
No, I don't want it!
Hey!
I'm going to marry this guy!
Entry No. 8!
KIMURA FAMILY!
KIMURA FAMILY decides what to eat for dinner.
Tomatoes, scallops and bell peppers.
Tonight...
Aqua Pakka.
What is this?
I see.
First of all, these are group A's eight members.
They are proper.
I'm sorry, but from now on, only you will be the judge.
I see.
One, two, three, four, five...
Five of you will be judging.
Us too.
Yes.
What?
Will you let us judge?
Yes.
This easily?
Moreover, if they were of lower quality, we would have decided easily.
That's right.
They are quite proper.
Their level is high.
I'm sorry, but out of group A's eight members, you chose group B as the most interesting.
But what do you think?
In group A's thirty members, they are...
They are quite proper.
Right?
Some of them are proper and some of them are not.
That's right.
Some of them are jokes.
Now, who will be the final judge of group A?
Everyone, open your eyes!
Nanamagari. Nanamagari.
Iwahashi. West Round. Iwahashi.
He found out!
In this case, it's either Jin or Kanagawa.
But it's very easy for me.
It's either Iwahashi or Nanamagari.
I was wondering about it.
Oh, really?
Can I say it?
Yes, you can.
Plus or minus, it's Iwahashi.
Iwahashi!
Masumoto san, why Iwahashi?
Well, Iwahashi did 30 seconds perfectly by himself.
I see.
Iwahashi laughed a lot.
He laughed a lot, too.
I see.
It's either Jin or Kanagawa.
Yes.
I thought it would be fine if the last one was not funny and boring.
I see.
But he left a lot of comments at the end.
He left a lot of comments, didn't he?
But he should have left a lot of comments.
He left a lot of comments.
They made this program on purpose.
Is it because it's similar to your story?
No, no, no.
Nanamagari.
I thought it was funny.
But...
It's not funny.
Both of them are funny.
Iwahashi is funny and Nanamagari is the only star born in Wednesday's "downtown".
Hachime.
Hachime is the only star born.
It's the first time for me.
Nanamagari is also not funny.
That's right.
He started with an unpleasant entrance and ended with a cool ending.
I see.
The gap was good.
As a result, from Block A, Iwahashi advanced to the finals!
I'm serious.
31 Grand Prix.
Next is Block B of the qualifying round.
Entry No. 9.
Tokyo Dynamite.
They are pretty famous.
Hello.
Welcome.
Bread or rice?
Bread.
Do you still have beef stew?
I'm sorry, we don't sell it.
Tell me that first!
Are you kidding me?
Entry No. 10, Zazie!
Hello, monsters!
You are amazing!
You have a wide beak!
That's right! I have a wide beak!
Whatever it is, my beak... Zucchini!
Spon? Spon?
Zucchini! Spon! Spon! Spon!
Mmm... Togan!
Will you go out with me?
No, why not? Why not?
Don't say it twice!
That's a place for sashimi!
What's that?!
As usual.
What's that?
Entry No. 11, Manzara de Molde!
Is this your first time?
Yes.
Then give me what you took.
Yes.
What? Who bought it?
How did you put it in?
I'm sorry, it's still in there.
It's still in there?!
Yes.
Your hair is all messed up, isn't it?!
I'm sorry.
Why?! Why is it coming out?!
I stole your prepaid card, can you give it back?!
You stole my prepaid card?!
Yes.
I'm sorry.
It's coming out so much!
I'm sorry.
I don't know anymore!
What's going on?!
I'm sorry! I'm really sorry!
It's my first time.
You're lying!
Entry No. 12, Dog!
Today is a bad day!
Thank you, Chief!
Yes.
Let me have some too!
Sorry about that!
Yes.
Well then, cheers!
Can you do it?
I see.
Entry No. 13, Takiyon.
Sato-kun, you haven't been to a bar, have you?
No.
You're quick on your feet.
Thank you.
What's wrong? Are you sick?
No, I'll be fine with medicine.
Oh, really?
Yes.
You have to be careful of colds in this season.
I'm fine now.
It's my neck.
Anyone who takes medicine from their nose has a neck problem.
Entry No. 14, Shampoo Hat, Koide.
I'd like you to look at my musician's photo.
This is Mr. Kan.
What's this?
Next up is Mr. Oe-senri.
That's a bad way of calling me.
Lastly is Mr. Kubota-toshinobu.
No, no.
It's not.
It's Kazunobu-chan!
He's making fun of me.
Don't make fun of me.
Entry No. 15, another middle school student.
Thank you for coming.
Let's look at your appearance.
Appearance...
Oh, my appearance...
My appearance...
Thank you very much!
That's why you said it.
It's nothing.
Entry No. 16, Jison Shin.
Welcome!
Don't buy water for elementary school students.
Don't buy water for elementary school students at convenience stores.
How much is your monthly allowance?
300 yen.
Are you going to use one-third of it for water?
That's right.
You'll kill people in the future.
It's difficult.
I see.
It's difficult.
Isn't it difficult?
This block is difficult.
It's difficult, isn't it?
Please write it down.
It's difficult.
There are many blocks I want to see next.
Who will be the final winner of Block B?
Are you ready?
One, two, three!
A dog, a dog, a waterfall, a Tokyo Dome, and a self- respecting heart.
It's decided.
A dog, a dog, a dog, it's decided.
This is a dog.
That's right.
It's simple, but it feels like it has a lot of good points.
I see. A self-respecting heart is also attractive.
I see.
What do you think of a self-respecting heart?
A self-respecting heart...
I'd like you to express your feelings.
I'd like to make such fashionable clothes.
A self-respecting heart has no choice but to be respected.
It's interesting.
Now, a waterfall for a person.
I'd like to see one more.
You can't drink medicine from your nose, can you?
You can't do that, can you?
I'd like to see a waterfall.
Well, I was worried about it.
But I'm glad you chose a dog.
Well, I'm glad you chose a dog.
As a result, we have two votes.
The final winner of Block B is...
The dog!
Interesting.
Wow.
This program is brought to you by the following sponsors.
If you're my son, you can do it.
In the case of the lion, please stay away from me.
The 31st Grand Prix.
Next is Block C of the qualifier.
Entry No. 17.
GERARDON!
You're terrible.
Hey!
Where did you put me?
You're terrible.
Oh, that woman!
She tied me up on a tower.
If you do that, I can't breathe!
Yeah!
Ordinary people can't hold their breath for an hour.
Besides, if we don't defeat them, we can't move forward.
So, what are you going to do?
Are you going to be the main speaker?
That's true.
That's funny.
That's fast.
He's a good member.
Thank you for having me. I'm Oswald. I'm the main speaker.
I'm thinking of buying something big.
There are two candidates and I'm wondering which one to buy.
I see. What are you thinking of buying?
Should I buy a road bike?
That's a really good bicycle.
I'm thinking of buying a golden retriever.
That's a really big dog.
That's right.
Which one do you think is better?
It depends on my purpose.
Depending on my purpose, I can buy either of them.
Your purpose is to move, of course.
I'm going to buy a road bike.
Maybe.
Entry No. 19.
It's Maki's "throw it away".
Hello!
I'm Aki from Hiraten.
I'm Ama-chan!
What? I'm Aga.
I'm not the real Ama-chan.
No!
That's not true!
I caught a sea urchin!
Look at me!
Huh? There is a sea urchin in my clothes, too!
And this is me!
Hey!
She felt it.
Entry No. 20.
It's Team Kondo.
Marriage! Congratulations!
Please listen to me!
It's a song by Kimura Kaira.
"Butterfly"!
Sorry! I made a mistake!
It's a song by Choshuriki.
"Power Hole"!
One more time, please!
"Power Hole"!
I love Choshuriki!
What is this?
You've been doing it for a while.
Entry No. 21.
It's a song by Raicho.
Leotard! Leotard!
What can you do, Leotard?
If you turn the ribbon, you can arrest the criminal!
7.47 am. Inakamonmaru magazine.
Leotard! You can do anything!
Intry No. 22. Mayurica.
Wow! They have an interior shop here!
What's this? It's so weird!
What's this?
What's this? A kimono?
It looks like a gift belt.
You can't touch that ball!
What's this? There's a switch!
What's this?
7.47 am. Inakamonmaru magazine.
It's a humidifier!
Intry No. 23. Okami.
I didn't mean to kill you!
But you're the bad guy!
Huh? Who's there?
Someone came in!
What should I do? What should I do?!
Hello! I'm Challenge Joy!
This is a difficult time for me!
It is difficult.
Intry No. 24. Kintaro.
He's a genius child singer from a neighboring country.
What's that?
You're good at it!
I'm a father and mother.
She said "yes".
She is a good singer.
This is what I thought at first.
She mixed a lot of songs.
Her level has dropped a little.
It's easier for me to choose songs.
Please show me your songs.
Are you ready?
One, two, three.
GERARDON, GERARDON, GERARDON, KINTARO, GERARDON.
I see.
MATSUO, why KINTARO?
It's KINTARO, isn't it?
You've been watching it for two hours, haven't you?
It was funny.
It was very funny.
I know GERARDON.
It's a long story.
It's a part of the story.
You like GERARDON, don't you?
Yes, I like it.
OKUN, you like GERARDON, don't you?
Have you been worried about RAICHO?
Yes, I have.
You don't worry about RAICHO, do you?
No, I don't.
You don't worry about RAICHO, do you?
Only GERARDON is worried about RAICHO.
How do you like RAICHO?
I feel like I haven't played in four and a half minutes.
The D Block Qualifier continues after the 31st Grand Prix.
Entry No. 25, NARUO WARAFUJI.
You know it. You know it completely.
You're disqualified. You're disqualified.
That's doping, isn't it? What are you doing? You can go home now.
No, no, no. That's not it.
Why are you laughing?
It's not doping.
It's not?
It's taping.
It's not that.
NARUO WARAFUJI.
Entry No. 26, RAZOR RAMON URUJI.
It's a question for SUIDA GO, ALSAWA TAXI.
It's a very difficult question!
DOWNTOWN...
ALSAWA TAXI, you were fast!
Please give us the answer.
Yes.
Miso.
Correct!
What is the seasoning that DOWNTOWN drinks in miso soup in the morning?
Miso!
Correct!
You were fast!
ALSAWA TAXI!
Entry No. 27, DAI SHIZEN.
It's a short answer.
It's an American father who is trying to ask his teenage son's worries about his yacht life.
That's right. Do you want to be a taxi driver?
Can I?
My son should be able to do it.
Yes!
Scary!
You went too far to the right!
Are you going to call a cab and leave like this?
Even if you're not sitting on the school bus...
Do you want me to take you there?
Entry No. 28, JAPAN'S PRESIDENT.
Today, we have a transfer student. Please come in!
I'm Nishihara from Komyo Junior High School. Nice to meet you!
Why are you in such a hurry?
Entry No. 29, Robin Hood.
I see.
Are you okay, master?
I'm sorry.
I heard you were in Katsuage.
I said I didn't have a wallet, but they took all of my stuff.
I see. Can you tell me what you took specifically?
Sunglasses.
Sunglasses, yes.
Mask.
Trench coat.
That's it.
Three?
Yes.
Only those three?
Yes.
I'm going to make one more note, but are you okay?
Entry No. 30, Zigzag Jiggy.
He pitched the ball!
Oh, it's a dead ball!
What?
Ow!
Stop!
Ow!
Stop!
Why?!
Ow!
Why?!
Somebody!
Hey!
Somebody!
Hey!
Why?!
Stop!
I'm the center!
Look at his face.
Entry No. 31, Matsumoto Club.
Panties on the roadside
Pick them up
With one eye open
Pick up the panties
Shushu
They look alike
Shushu
Entry No. 32
Oh, it's you!
This one is also long
In your mind
Was it like this before?
It's an imitation of that concept
It's not alike or not alike
It's in your mind
Let's approach it
Here it is
It's Jaiko's hairstyle
I see
Wow, it's difficult
It's up a level again
I know it's difficult
Please draw it
Who will be the final judge?
Let's see it together
Open!
Wow, the president of Japan has already drawn three
Wow
It's decided
Now, Ijun, why?
I know
I want to see as many as possible
I want to see
I want to see one by one
I see
Kuu-chan, what do you think?
I felt like I was hit by a bomb of dust
All three of you, Jin, Nippon's president
I was worried about what would happen
But you told me more than that
I thought you were funny
I see
Masumoto san, you too?
I was nervous for 30 seconds
I thought you might not come out
What do you think?
I thought you might not come out
But you did come out
I see
It was funny
I see
So, Nippon's president is D-BLOCK!
You said it
The members of BLOCK are biased
That's right
The members of this BLOCK and the previous BLOCK are similar
They are similar
31st GRAND PRIX Final E-BLOCK Entry No. 33 "STAMINA PAN"
From "thank you" and "ten yen"
What is "thank you"? I've never heard of it
There are so many
Should I try it if it's about "ten yen"?
"thank you" and "what"?
thank you
You have a big business
Entry No. 34 "MORIA VIOLI"
He hid my costume!
It's got to be him!
Don't be such a bully.
It's... it's almost time for the show to start...
I'm a life-and-death hero...
I've been so close to the passion continent...
But I can't find it!
MORIA VIOLI
Entry No. 35 "ROBERTO"
Wow, Tokyo is amazing!
I'm a TV guy myself...
Oh, you're a TV guy!
You've got a lot of nerve!
I'm filming a show right now, so could you leave me alone?
A show?!
You're filming?!
Wow, Tokyo is amazing!
Who is it?! Who's the talent?!
It's been a while since I've lived in this city!
What kind of talent?!
What kind of points?!
I can't find any information about you!
Oh, hello!
Hello, I'm WASHIO!
It's WASHIO!
Wow...
Entry No. 36 "REINBOW"
It's been a while.
Huh, Tachan?!
Junko, you haven't changed at all!
Isn't Tachan a little fat?!
That's rude of you, you bastard!
Huh?! Wait a minute!
I'm not here!
There's no one here who looks like Touji!
What are you saying, you bastard?!
I'm not here!
REINBOW
Entry No. 37 "ULTRA BOOGIES"
"ULTRA BOOGIES"'s new sport!
Tissue! Tissue!
No, no, no!
Penalty dish! OK, penalty dish!
Penalty dish, OK!
OK!
Go! Tissue! Tissue!
Match over.
Twelve dishes.
Eleven dishes!
OK!
Entry No. 38 "SIOMARIA"
"SIOMARIA"'s short "demon style" starts now!
Oh, this is an anniversary card.
It says "Happy New Year!"
Oh, it's a picture of Kadomatsu.
It's like New Year's.
Wait a minute!
If you look closely, it's not Kadomatsu!
It's Heineken's bottle!
"demon style"!
Oh, these are mahjong pins!
One, two, three...
four, five, six...
seven, eight...
No, eight is "fila"!
"demon style"!
Fila...
Entry No. 39 "CHANCE OSHIRO"
LUCIANO PAVAROTTI WAS AWAKENED BY A DOG BITE.
Ouch!
Entry number 40, G. TAKASHI.
Mr. Antonio Inoki, who's going to throw in the money.
Hello? Hello?!
It's me. It's me. It's me!
Who are you?! Who are you?!
Who are you?!
Ogawa? Fujita? Choshu?!
Who are you?!
You want money?
Sorry, but I only have money.
Throw in the money!
Entry number 41, Doburock!
Doburock?
Competing against Takei Sou, who can defeat any animal,
I can make love with any animal!
Well then, I will make love with a lion!
In the case of a lion, I will take a little distance and first put in a feint!
And when I get a little distance, I'll grab his hair!
And then I'll hold his neck and put in a punch!
And when I think it's getting weak, I'll...
Dream club!
That was fast!
By the way, Mr. Doburock at the end,
I don't know if you can air it or not,
so please don't put it in.
It's not in here!
That's right.
It's just that we want you all to see it, so the staff made it this time.
A special group!
That's right, I thought it would be quite a problem.
I see!
So it's impossible to air it.
That's right!
Last, Doburock!
Yes, everyone!
What should I do?
Please go ahead!
But...
Did he make it?
Let's go for the last E-block!
Don!
Oh, this is a chance for Oshiro!
He has 3 seconds!
Now, Jin is Robert!
Well, I knew it!
I knew it!
I see. I see.
Jin thinks this is a chance for Oshiro!
He has the air he has,
but he has less than 30 seconds.
He has a good one.
First of all, I think so.
I think so, too.
I wish I had a dog that looks like it has a dirty disease.
A beautiful dog.
A little beautiful.
Do you understand now?
This is a chance for Oshiro.
It was interesting.
I was wondering where he had come up with this idea.
It was good.
I understand.
The E-block of the preliminary round is for Oshiro!
So,
these five teams won the final of the 31 Grand Prix.
Who will shine as the first champion?
Here is the lineup of finals.
Judges, what do you think of this finals?
There are some names left.
Isn't it amazing that we came here?
Iwahashi was different from what I thought.
He might be floating somewhere.
I didn't know this would happen.
This is the final you chose.
Here is the final.
The first lineup is...
Plus minus Iwahashi.
I broke my clarinet.
My favorite clarinet.
My dad gave me this clarinet.
I knew it was very important.
I shouldn't have broken it.
What should I do?
Pao pao pao.
Saa!
I didn't know that.
I made a mistake.
The second lineup is...
Dog.
Conto Fitness Gym.
Let's do abs.
Can you do it?
Here we go.
One.
Do your best.
I can't do it.
What should I do?
Now, my armpit is open, so it's easier to do it if I close it.
How do you do it?
Now, my armpit is open, so it's easier to do it.
I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it.
Next, the third group in the final round is Gerardon.
It's not easy to do it.
I can't help it. Come out, Evil.
What is this?
Is it time for dinner?
I asked you, Evil.
Thank you for the meal.
Stop it.
Are you all right?
What?
I'm an infiltrator, F.B.I.
You're good at making roles.
F.B.I.
Next, the fourth group in the final round is the president of Japan.
The fifth group in the final round is the president of France.
Dedesu dededen!
Asu...tarou desu.
Are you kidding me?
You did it.
It's over. It's over.
Did you leave it for us?
You did it.
No, no, no. I didn't ask you.
First of all, Awashi was wrong.
It's the final round, isn't it, Awashi?
It's the final round, isn't it?
It's the final round.
I want to do it again.
Let's do it again from Block A.
Block A?
Now, the first winner will be decided.
It's difficult.
Now, think about it slowly.
Yes, please write it down.
Here you go.
This is difficult.
What will happen?
Let's start the final match!
President of Japan! President of Japan!
Dog! Dog!
So, the champion of the first 31 Grand Prix is the president of Japan!
What do you think of this?
He's the president of Japan now.
He's become immortal.
President of Japan was the most aggressive in the first minute.
President of Japan was funny in the first 30 seconds.
He used a different kind of story than in the first minute.
So, you think he's a dog?
Before the match, I thought Iwahashi and Oshiro were going to win.
But now, I think they're going to lose.
But, I think they used their last five seconds very well.
I think it's very cool.
So, you think he's a dog?
I talked with the president of Japan.
I want to know what will happen to dogs in the future.
Also, Oshiro was too funny.
Will you stop impersonating Asou Taro?
He's a comedian with five years of experience.
I've never heard of anyone impersonating Asou Taro.
I was so angry when I said I wanted to impersonate a dirty dog.
I don't care about that.
You don't care about that.
I don't care about that.
Mr. Bamari, what do you think of this match?
I think it's a great match.
I think I learned a lot of things from this match.
But, there are many matches that were rejected.
That's right.
35 matches.
There may be a lot of interesting matches that were rejected.
That's right.
I don't think we can watch only one match that was rejected.
I don't want to watch it.
I don't think we can watch it.
You don't care about that.
Good morning.
What?
Here you are.
What?
It's about 300,000 yen.
Are you kidding me?
What?
Congratulations.
Congratulations?
What?
What did you do for money?
What?
Speaking of 300,000 yen...
It's about 300,000 yen.
Do you know it?
I don't know it.
What?
I don't know it.
It's about 300,000 yen.
I know it.
Can I say it?
It's Wednesday's "downtown", isn't it?
That's right.
Oh!
It's about 300,000 yen...
Oh! You're right!
What?
What does it mean?
31 Grand Prix.
Yes.
Congratulations for winning.
What?
Wow!
Are you kidding me?
Is it us?
Yes.
What?
Is it prize money?
That's right.
What?
I participated in it for the first time on Wednesday.
Did you really participate in it?
Well...
I had a chance with Oshiro-san.
I thought it was suspicious.
I thought we were extras to steal a chance with Oshiro-san.
Let's give a chance to Oshiro-san.
Oshiro...
Next week's "Everyone's Theory Special"!
Even if you live alone, if you get knocked when you're in the bathroom, you'll say, "I'm in!"
Even if you're a weirdo, if you get thrown with a "marshmallow catch" you'll eat it!
And...
"Safety shoes are really safe" theory and more!
We'll release all of these detailed theories once and for all!
It's Sama-chan.
Tonight's show and past episodes will be broadcast on TVer and Parabi!