AISubs v3.5
I'm Paris Hoken.
I'm...
Shini!
Today's first skit is...
Ms. Kakehashi is the lead role.
Yes.
Does it make you feel different?
No, no, no. I'm doing my best.
Wow! That's a perfect answer!
Wasn't there anything difficult about it?
The lines were long and I had a hard time memorizing them.
Ms. Kakehashi is...
Wow! I thought you'd say "wow" the most.
Wow!
You memorized those lines.
You said "wow" the most so far.
Yes.
Ms. Semiya was also in it.
I had a lot of lines to memorize,
but I memorized them all.
She said she was worried about my facial expression,
but it was cute.
You just made fun of me, didn't you?
Hello.
Ms. Kakehashi.
Did you like it?
It tastes like blood.
Ms. Kakehashi is always honest with herself and goes her own way.
Ms. Kakehashi will play a police officer this time.
She will play a police officer who strictly controls bad people.
Please pay attention to her close relationship with her subordinates, Morita.
Don't move!
I'm tired of my part-time job today, too.
There were a lot of customers today.
I'm sorry for inviting you to karaoke all of a sudden.
I just felt like singing today.
It's been a while since I've been to karaoke.
Oh, really?
I'm happy.
That's just right.
Then let me listen to your song.
Me first?
Don't be nervous in front of me.
Then...
Shall we listen to Yonezu Kenshi's "Lemon"?
Oh, I love that song, too.
Oh, really?
But I've never sung it before.
I'm not sure about it.
I'm a little sore in my throat from my part-time job.
I don't think I can sing well.
What?
Please stop!
What?
Don't move!
Police?
Please stop!
Don't move!
We're the only ones here.
What?
Suspect arrested!
Suspect?
What?
Arrested!
What?
Arrested!
No, I wasn't arrested.
Senior, what are you doing?
No, I'm not doing anything.
You just paid insurance, didn't you?
Insurance?
In this cruel world, everyone is afraid of getting hurt and try to pay insurance in advance.
But I will never allow that insurance!
Nogizaka Office. Do you want to pay insurance or not?
Call me. Insurance Police.
What's going on?
I don't know why.
What is insurance?
If you get a blister, cheer me up!
You said scary words all of a sudden.
What words?
You should take it easy, bastard!
What words? Huh?
You said you sang "lemon" for the first time.
You must have sung it many times!
No, no, no. You say that a lot, don't you?
You said you can't sing well because you have a sore throat.
You invited me to karaoke by yourself!
No, it's like that kind of feeling, isn't it?
Shiga-san, you're really good!
I know you want me to say it, but it's obviously a lie.
I will arrest you for violating insurance policy.
Arrest me?
Will you arrest me like this?
Thank you for your help, Insurance Police!
What's wrong with you?
Huh?
A female student in a nearby high school said,
I fell asleep when I tried to study for an exam.
What?
You're asking for insurance when you got bad grades in a test!
Let's go!
Yes!
Let's go!
Huh? Can I go?
I'm sorry. I was scared. Are you okay?
I'm totally fine. I was a little surprised.
You were surprised.
Well, let's sing again.
Yes!
What should we do?
There's a scoring function in this karaoke.
Senpai, please try it.
Scoring function... Well, well, well, shall we go?
Yes, yes, let's sing this song.
Thank you for making my dream come true!
Arena!
Huh? Huh? Huh?
Again! Again! Again! Again! Again!
Stop! Stop!
What? What?
Stop! Stop!
Huh?
Stop! Stop!
What? What? What?
Insurance police!
I know that!
But you came earlier, didn't you?
What is it?
Let's write it down!
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
Ouch, ouch, ouch!
Huh?
Are you going on a rampage?!
I'm not going on a rampage!
I'm serious right now, no matter what happens!
If you're going on a rampage, cheer up!
What kind of words are those?!
You're going on a rampage, you bastard!
What kind of words are those?!
You're going on a rampage!
Earlier, you did a Tokyo Dome live bokeh of a large- scale artist who is often seen doing bokeh in karaoke.
I'm embarrassed to be told that again.
You bokehed, even though you knew it was a voting intro!
When the voting turned out to be bad...
I did something unnecessary, so I'll call you back!
In order to do that...
No, I'm not going to say that!
I've never asked you that!
Higashi-san...
Are you okay?
In order for me to say that, I did an unnecessary bokeh.
Your delusions are amazing!
You're under arrest for insurance police bokeh.
This is the second time!
I'm Kotegaru! Insurance police!
You're under arrest, aren't you?
What? A female student invited to a drinking party at a nearby university?
She said "I'm a little busy right now, so I'll go if I can", you know?
You're risking insurance when it suddenly gets annoying to go, aren't you?
I'm going!
Wow!
What? Is that more sinful?
I don't know!
Well, you know, Rei-chan...
Yes?
Rei-chan, you know, you're close with Yamada, but are you dating him?
Yamada-kun? No, it's not like I'm dating him like a little brother.
I don't have a boyfriend.
You don't have a boyfriend?
No.
Oh, I see!
Then... date me.
Just kidding!
Don't move!
Wait!
Stop it!
Don't move!
No one's moving!
Don't move!
Stop it!
Who are you looking at?
Insurance police.
I'm getting mad!
Suspect arrested!
Yes!
I get it, so hurry up!
Don't hit me!
Don't make me go wild!
Arrested! Arrested!
Don't make me go wild!
Arrested!
You don't have to sing this time!
If you take my blood...
Cheer me up!
You don't have to say it!
Hey!
2.7 seconds!
Zero!
I won't say it!
You asked her earlier...
Are you dating your junior?
Do you have a boyfriend?
She thought you'd be wary of her.
And...
While you confessed...
At the end...
You...
I know you want me to say it, but I can't say it out loud.
You're violating your insurance policy and I'm going to...
Portugal! Insurance policy!
Why are you so excited? Where are you excited?
You're not excited at all! Right, Rei-chan?
Yes! I don't think anything of you, either!
What? Are you going to say it straight?
Yes!
Aren't you going to insure me?
No! No!
I don't care what you think of me.
No, but even if you feel like going out with me...
Absolutely not!
No?
Arthur...
Here I go!
Yes!
She laughed!
Well... It's all a lie, but... Just kidding!
Oh, you're not going to say it?
Yes!
She was going all out!
How long did it take you to memorize it?
My mom helped me out.
Your mom helped you out?
Where did your mom help you out?
Thank you for coming to my "Higashibukuro" concert today!
Your mom helped you out!
You don't have to do it yourself!
Soyaka and Morita have a great chemistry.
And...
- Mr. Higashibukuro's... - It doesn't matter!
- You remembered it! - It doesn't matter!
- It's because I'm in it, too! - It doesn't matter that a 16-year-old like you can't keep your balance!
- I really like a guy like Tokyo Dober and I got stuck... - I see.
- So I was like, "Oh, Mr. Higashibukuro, you have this side of you!" - I see!
- I thought you were doing your best! - It was fun!
- He was looking at me like this in the back and said one line...
- "Alright, alright, alright..." - "Alright, alright, alright..."
- From which position were you looking at me from?
- If it were me, I'd be like Mr. Higashibukuro and be like this...
- "Alright, alright, alright..." - "Alright, alright, alright..."
- That's perfect! - You're looking at me from above!
- You're looking at me from above, aren't you?
- From the moment I put on my wig in the dressing room...
- I was so embarrassed I couldn't go out into the hallway!
- That's... - It's like you're about to do an ad - lib once it starts.
- After this, Seira Hayakawa and Haruka Kaki have overcome their embarrassment with an eye-catching skit!
- Ah, I like this one! - This one's really good!
- "Nagizaka Skits"!
- It's a skit between you and Hayakawa-san, right? - Yes.
- What kind of skit is it, Kaki-chan? - It's about me becoming an old lady in Osaka.
- I see, you're from Kansai, right? - Yes.
- Have you ever felt like you're an Osaka person?
- Yes, I have. I often go out in Osaka dialect.
- Ah, you two go out together? - Yes, we go out a lot.
- Right? Right? Right? - She can't go out at all!
- At least let me go out now!
- I have Ame-chan, so I'll do it!
Hayakawa Seira, a four-year-old mood-maker with a strong character unique to Kansai people.
Such Hayakawa will challenge the role of a fierce Osaka old woman!
Her partner is Kaki Haruka, who loves comedy!
Pay attention to the two who will make Morita mad in Kansai dialect!
Why not!
Hey there, Morita!
Thanks for saving me! Come in!
Wait a minute! Isn't this a maid cafe?
Maid cafe? What are you talking about? This is a maid cafe!
You said it!
Then it wasn't a mistake!
Then I'm sorry!
You're leaving?!
You're so mean!
Grandpa, you can't say that!
You came all the way here and you're leaving?!
There's no maid cafe, is there?!
A maid cafe is fine, but a maid cafe is only here!
You said it!
Sit down!
Hurry up!
Give me a minute!
I'll bring you your meal!
Here's your menu!
Thanks!
Wait, what's that?!
You're fast! You haven't even opened it yet!
Then I'll eat it while you're thinking!
Ame-chan!
I'll give you some, Ame-chan!
What flavor do you like?
I don't need it!
Momo-chan? Ringo-chan?
High-heeled girls!
You're so annoying!
You're so annoying! What is this?!
Which one do you like?
Come on, Ringo! Ringo!
You like Ringo?
I'll give you some, Momo!
Here you go!
Thank you!
It's on me!
Ame-chan!
I don't need it!
I don't need it! I'll keep it!
Why do you keep it?
I'll keep it!
That's right!
Which flavor do you like?
Momo-chan? Ringo-chan?
High-heeled girls!
You said it!
I said it!
Which one do you like?
Come on!
You're young, but you're slow!
Which one do you like?
They're all good!
Which one do you like?
It's up to you!
Okay!
Then I'll eat a delicious fish!
I'll go get it! I'll say it and...
This is hell!
Will this go on? This is really hell!
What is it, Mr. Machido?
It's not fish at all!
Okonomiyaki!
Well, well, well, this is fine! Okonomiyaki is delicious!
Then I'll eat it!
What is it?
Don't come to a cafe every time and eat normally!
What? What do you mean?
It's like writing a message!
Oh, like writing it in omelet rice?
Oh, you write like that?
It's not like that! It's like making a pattern!
Okay!
Here we go!
One, two...
Again!
How lame!
What a lame food!
Oh, you're so cute!
It's fine! It's fine!
Match, match, match!
I'll cast a spell on you!
What spell?
It's like a maid cafe!
"Get tasty!" I say and...
Moe, moe!
That's enough!
Oh, no!
I don't need love!
She's so cute!
I don't need love!
I only need my aunt in front of me!
My aunt in front of me is in the way!
Hmm?
Brother, you're lucky!
The live is about to...
What?
Start!
Oh, there's a maid cafe and a live, too!
Yeah!
Oh, really?
Shall we go and see it?
No, no, just enjoy yourselves!
Okay!
There's a live, too!
I don't like this!
What? What? What?
"Get tasty!" I say and...
The souvenir shop is busy.
Hey, sis!
What is it?
Welcome!
Which one do you want?
Oh, look!
Can I have this one?
Oh, no!
But, sis, why do you want to go to a new world?
Well, it's easier to shop and it's cleaner and...
Instagram tells me happy things!
And everything is crowded!
This is Garagara!
It's sunny and sunny!
What are you showing me?
It was a fucking amazing show!
Hey!
You show me such a fucking amazing show in a live show!
Bro!
What?
We can take the enemy as a tribute...
Don't say "tribute"!
It's not that!
Apologize to the world's tribute!
I don't want it! I don't want it! I don't want it!
I don't want it!
It's not that!
It's just annoying!
It's not that!
It's just annoying!
Just one, girls!
Will you take it, girls?
I'll take it!
New world!
What's this?
It's the first time for me to get a check that I can put my hand in.
I'll do it, but it doesn't make much sense!
I'll go home!
I'm tired!
Pay me!
I'll have okonomiyaki and a check for 1,900 yen!
1,900 yen!
1,900 yen is expensive!
I'll pay you 2,000 yen!
I'll pay you 1,000 yen!
I'll go home!
Wait a minute!
What?
You have to eat properly!
If you have any trouble, tell me!
See!
I'll go home!
You two are amazing!
Can you do it naturally like this?
I was really embarrassed before I did it.
But once I started it, I got greedy.
You did something nobody did.
It doesn't matter if you take it or not.
It's irritating when someone else takes it.
It's frustrating!
It's not like that!
Did you overdo it?
No, but Seira said it a lot.
So I was like, "Wow! As expected of Ayamura!"
Nogizaka skits!
After this, a new student announced her senior whom she admires!
Do you think you have to learn it?
Of course I do!
Nogizaka skits!
We want to know more about New 4th Generation! New 4th Generation Character Discovery Meeting!
We are New 4th Generation!
New 4th Generation who have just joined this year!
In order for a character to do a skit about life and death, we need to know more about their personalities!
Idiot!
This time, we will ask about what kind of characters New 4th Generation are!
By the way, do you know about us?
Of course we do!
What is it? Are you asking me?
No, no, no!
I became a big fan of you from "King of Conte". I like you very much! I really like you!
Are you a fan?
No, I really like you!
Are you serious?
I really like you!
How old are you?
But I'm not the oldest!
What are you talking about?
How old are you?
How can you say that all of a sudden?
By the way, who is number one?
If you say that, I won't say anything.
How many points did you get?
About 12,500 points.
You sound like you're talking about a musical.
Let's talk about this topic today.
Here it is.
Who is the senior you admire?
Let's open it together!
As expected, there is Sotaru Menmen's name.
Kuromi is the captain, Manatsu Akimoto and Asuka Saito.
Sato is the exclusive model of magazine SEVENTEEN, Shiori Kubo.
Hayashi is the photo book released this year, "Horimiyona".
Matsuo is an active musical actress, Erika Ikuta.
Yumiki is the host of a variety show, Kazumi Takayama.
As you can see, I don't have any "B"s.
You don't have any "B"s, do you?
I don't show my "B"s in public.
I've noticed it recently.
But Horii has a high level of "B"s.
I think she has to learn how to polish herself and how to be stoic.
Do you really think you have to learn?
Yes, I do.
But you don't show your "B"s in public.
Because people want me to do it.
That's all I can do.
By the way, among you four, is there anyone with high "B"s?
Tara.
I work hard on polishing myself.
I usually eat while looking in the mirror.
I eat a lot and fix my bangs.
Does that make you look bad?
Like a narcissist?
No, it's not like that.
Do you look at others at different times?
When I was listening to a teacher in a lesson,
I looked in the teacher's direction and listened to her.
But only one person looked at me.
That's not good.
You shouldn't look at the teacher like that.
I look at the whole picture.
This girl and this girl are close.
This girl doesn't grow up.
Next week, we'll show you some skits.
[Official Voice Actors Channel]
Yes! As invisible models...
Today, we'll show you the world's most interesting joke.
The world's most interesting joke?
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
Ah, so this is where it was!
I was wondering if I could say ad-libs or whatever, and I just said it.
You're too much!
Hello! I'm Hayashi.
I'm Kimiki.
I'm Luna-chan and Nao-chan, who are completely into it.
I am...
Mayu Tamura.
Mayu Tamura!