AISubs v3.5
"Dogi-zaka Skit Live" new content!
Now, the first skit is...
"Insurance Police".
Please come in.
Thank you for having me.
Please have a seat.
Oh, I'm sorry for coming all of a sudden.
Not at all.
Please have a seat.
I'm glad you're here.
Thank you for having me.
I was thinking of watching "Dogi-zaka Skit Live" by myself, and I'm glad you're here.
Oh, really?
We were going to watch it together at Rika's house.
Right?
Yes, but the Wi-Fi was getting worse and worse, and we were in trouble.
Don't worry.
I'll connect my computer and TV and let everyone watch it.
Wow, that's amazing!
Not at all.
But I'm sorry.
I'm just doing a part-time job, and you're so nice to me.
What are you talking about?
No, we're not just part-time colleagues.
We're friends.
You can count on us for anything.
Thank you very much.
Not at all.
Um, Semiya-san.
Yes?
What about Yamada-san?
Oh, Yamada-kun...
That's right.
Yamada...
The one who quit his part-time job and is wandering around the world?
Yes!
He came back to Japan recently, and we were wondering if we could watch it together.
Yamada...
You're in the same part-time job as Rei-chan, and you want to watch it together?
You're such a nosy guy!
Well...
would it be a nuisance if I called you here?
No, no, no, no, it's fine.
It's fine, but...
Yamada coming to Senpai's house...
I guess you don't have to force him to come to your house.
What?
Don't come any closer!
Where are you going? Stop saying that!
Don't come closer!
What is it?
- What? - Reservist, arrest him!
Yes, sir!
- Wait, wait... - Give me a chance!
- No, it hurts! - Get back!
- It hurts! - Arrest him!
- It hurts... - Huh?
Huh? What did you do?
You just...
- Huh? - You just insured yourself, didn't you?
I didn't insure myself!
In this world where we live in,
everyone is afraid of getting hurt,
and try to insure themselves all the time.
But...
I will never allow you to do that!
Nogizaka Prefecture,
whether you're insured or not,
or even if you are...
Call me...
and I'll send you to Paris!
What is this?!
Get out of here!
I'm not insured or anything!
You said this...
If you don't like Yamada, you don't have to come.
Well, I didn't think it was a bad idea to force you to come.
On top of that, you said this before...
Yamada's guy is annoying.
Well, I just said it out of enthusiasm.
On top of that, you said this before...
"Y-you two...
s-sit down and...
That's not how you say it!
Don't just sit there and do nothing!
Higashi-senpai is...
big and...
really nice!
I want you to know that this is obviously a fraud!
You're under arrest for breach of health insurance.
No problem! Health insurance, please!
I didn't ask for health insurance!
What's wrong with you?
Huh? A college student nearby?
He's my senior, so I'll tell you anything!
There are a lot of people asking for health insurance in April!
Is that so?
Let's go!
Morita...
You skipped a line!
Me?!
I thought something was wrong!
Me?!
That's right!
If you say more than one line, you'll get skipped!
Right?
No, no, it's not like that!
That lawyer with glasses is also me now!
It's complicated! I'm in trouble!
Huh?
Ding dong?
Yamana-kun, we're here!
Did you read it?!
Yes!
No way! Even if the door is open, come in!
Hey, hey, hey, hey! Everyone!
- Here, it's been a while! - Wow, you've changed a lot!
- Well... - Huh?
- In the world... - Huh?
- "Fly" and... - Yeah...
- "Stay" and... - Yeah...
- To say "yeah"! - Yeah...
- Communication is important! - Yeah...
- Well, but Higashi-senpai is still the same! - You're noisy!
- It's been a while, Hyouda-kun! - Huh?
- Rei-san! - Beautiful!
- Yeah! - Wait, wait, wait!
- What are you doing?! Huh?! - Um...
- Nice to meet you! I'm Sato Rika! - Oh! I'm listening! I'm listening!
- Cute... junior... cha... yeah! - Wait, wait, wait! That's too much!
- "Hug" is weird! Right, Rika-chan?! - Huh?! No, no...
- "Hug" is normal overseas! - Huh?!
- I was doing a "homestay" in Paris! - You were doing a "homestay"?!
- As expected! - You're a special talent! Huh?!
- But... this is Japan, and "hug" is a bit... - Hmm...
- Huh? Simmons, are you embarrassed?! - N-no! No! No! No!
- You see, Yamada-kun is like a little brother to me, so I'm not embarrassed, but...
- I was surprised because it was so sudden. - No, no, well...
- I don't think you know, but you know how Rei - chan is now, right?
- She was different in the past, you know? - That's true...
- I didn't know that Rei-san would become so "beautiful"!
- Rei-san... - Huh? - Next time...
- When we "trip" and "yeah" to "world"...
- Let's... "kama"... - Did you even touch me?!
- Right? Like "yeah"... - Yeah... - You don't know who I am?!
- Yeah... - Why do you think that, Higashi - senpai?!
- No, of course! Because if Rei-chan doesn't quit her job, the store will be in trouble!
- For now, I'm the job leader, so... - Higashi... - Yeah...
- Huh?!
- Hey, hey, hey... Totoki, that's enough! - Don't move!
- Don't move!
- I am saying "for now", but... - Don't move!
- Okay?
- Every week! - Don't move!
- It's not every week! - Don't move! There are many of you because it's a live show!
- No, there aren't... - There are many of you!
- What's up?! - Anyway...
- Who... are... you?
- I'm Hokenpolis! - Say 'em, Hokenpolis!
- I don't need a contract! - Anyway... - What?!
- That thing you did earlier... - Yeah?
- It wasn't me, it was him! - Shut up!
- Hey, don't do that! - It was him!
- Don't do that! - Which thing did you do?! Do it, you bastard!
- What are you talking about?! - Which thing did you do?!
- Don't do it! - I did.
- What did you do?! Do it, do it, do it!
- If you don't tell me, I'll kick you out of the show! - I'll kick you out of the show!
- Even this script! - Yeah, you're right about that.
- If you don't tell me, I'll kick you out of the show! - Don't worry about it!
- I'm really worried about you! - Anyway...
- Hokenpolis! - You're here to catch me, aren't you?!
- Let's continue, Hokenpolis! - Let's continue, come on!
- I'll hide you! - Yeah, she hid you herself!
- If you don't tell me... - Murita...
- No. - What?!
- No? - No?
- Yamada... - Yeah?
- Please cooperate with me. - What?!
- No, no, why?!
- Please cooperate with me. Thank you.
- Hey, hey, hey! What do you mean?!
- If you do this in America...
- You'll get socialized!
- Yamada-san...
- You asked for insurance, didn't you?!
- What?! - Insurance?!
- What do you mean?! - Insurance?!
- That friendly foreign character...
- You're making one, aren't you?!
- Making one?! What do you mean?!
- It's been a while since I met Senmiya Rei, who I admire.
- If it's possible, I'd like to confess.
- But... I don't have the courage.
- That's why you decided to play that character.
- Yamada-kun! - Yeah?
- Grow up! - Yeah?
- I like you!
- To make you say that, I made a sad character.
- You're under arrest for taking insurance.
- What?!
- Did you admit it? - I'm sorry.
- People keep doing it over and over again. - Wait a minute!
- Can you do it again? - Can you do it again?
- Insurance doesn't work for you. - I'm sick of it.
- All of you. - Yes.
- Okay, let's go. - I told you.
- Yamada! - Rei.
- I don't care who you are. - What?
- Because I don't want you to exist anymore. - That's it.
- That's it for you. - Okay, let's go.
- I can't believe it's happening all of a sudden. - It's the center's song.
- Who are you? - You know a lot.
- Okay, Yamada is back. - Let's watch the rest of the show.
- These two are scarier than insurance officers. - Okay, okay, okay.
The next skit is...
"Love's Salt Fire".
Thanks to everyone's hard work, we were able to achieve the sales standards for clay pine.
Thank you.
We will continue to work hard for you.
- Thank you. Cheers! - Cheers!
I'm sure everyone will drink and eat on their own.
- Thank you for your hard work, Mr. Morita. - Thank you for your hard work, Ms. Yamashita.
- Thank you for everything. - No, no. I'm nothing compared to you, Mr. Morita.
You really helped me out.
The way you greeted me earlier was different from your usual way, Mr. Morita.
- You were cool. - What?
Then I'll go now.
What?
Cool?
Ms. Yamashita, you do like me, don't you?
No, no, no! I shouldn't have misunderstood you!
That was close! I almost lost at that casino again!
No, no! There's no deep meaning in a girl's coolness!
That was close!
- Mr. Morita! - Hey, Yomosu!
- Thank you for your hard work. - It was tough, wasn't it?
It was tough, but it was a good experience.
I'm glad you said that.
So, when are you going to do it?
Huh? Do what?
I don't know what you're talking about! You promised me you'd go watch "Horizon" with me, didn't you?
I'm really looking forward to it.
Oh, I see!
Well, I'll make time for you!
- Okay, I'll be waiting for you! - Okay!
She was looking forward to the movie?
Ms. Yamashita, you do like me, don't you?
No, no, no! I shouldn't have misunderstood you!
That dealer again!
No, no! There's no deep meaning in a girl's coolness!
Seriously!
Let's calm down!
- Mr. Morita! Good work! - Hey, Nakamura!
It was a great help to have you as my partner!
I worked pretty hard!
I'm going to have you treat me to something delicious!
Well, well, that's fine, but...
If you two go, I'll feel bad for your boyfriend.
Oh, you're all going as partners!
Well, then...
Thank you for your concern!
But it's okay.
We just broke up recently.
Oh, I see. I'm sorry.
No, it's okay.
But if you were my boyfriend, you'd be happy, wouldn't you?
What?
Oh, see you!
Did you like me, Nakamura?
What?
There you are!
It's you!
What are you laughing at?
It's showtime!
There you are!
Huh?
Is this love useful or useless?
Be brave and try it out.
Yes, this is love useful or useless.
When did you come up with this theme song?
It's too long!
I've been waiting for you for so long!
Before a man who is lost in love suddenly appears and starts a fire, I will guide you to love.
If the metaphor starts, it will be happy, right?
Who is that motif?
Now, let's see if this word has a role or not!
Let's bet time!
This is different from the time of Iwamotsu and Yabase!
This has a role!
No more bet!
Now, what is the fate of this love?
Tissue!
Why?!
Bad luck and tissue!
No, no, no!
No, no, no! Why, why, why?!
No, no, it's strange!
Your way of taking the chip doesn't work!
You always look at me and I can't run!
Hey, what's wrong with you?! Don't laugh at me!
This is strange!
No, no, no!
It's annoying!
Are you crazy?!
This is the truth of woman's heart!
You know...
I couldn't meet him because of my work,
so there was a girl who confessed her love to him,
and my feelings were transferred to you!
If I could love someone like you, who has no rivals in the North,
I would be happy!
What the hell is that?!
So this is the truth...
No, no, no!
You shouldn't say it like that!
You're making me think!
I'm not saying it's a lie, but...
You're getting on my nerves more and more!
I'm sorry!
You're so serious!
I'm sorry!
You're so serious!
I'm sorry!
Okay then!
Please come again!
Again?
Who is it?!
Please come again!
Who are you guys?!
Who are you?!
Oh, oh!
These people were always doing the work!
You're not!
Go!
Damn it!
Wait!
I'll forget it after drinking!
This is bad.
Huh? You're the only team leader?
Well, since we're here,
don't you have any seniors you want to talk to?
Don't you have any seniors you want to talk to?
I see.
I like talking to you, though.
Huh?
Oh, no, no, no.
You know, I like your aura.
Huh?
Oh, no, no, no.
No, no, no.
Also, I like the way you smile.
Huh?!
Oh, Mizuki, Renka, what's wrong?
Huh? Cake?! I'll eat it, I'll eat it!
Come on, casino!
Come on, come on, come on.
Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on!
Alright!
Ugh...
It's showtime!
All right! All of it! All of it! She said "I love you" three times! All of it!
My, my, you went all out, didn't you?
Yes.
Then...
No more bet! Now, what is the fate of this love?
This is all right!
100!
What's wrong with you?!
You... You... Wait a minute!
Are you making up an alibi?
I've never seen an alibi!
Hey!
Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
No, no, no! You don't know the meaning of "I love you"!
Hey! The meaning of "I love you"! She said it three times!
Yes.
No, no, no!
Wow! She's so annoying!
No, no, no!
Are you deaf?!
No, no, no!
She's serious!
You idiot!
Why are you so angry?
This is the truth of woman's heart!
This cake is delicious!
You bought this for me, didn't you, Morita-san?
Yes, yes. I like it when you say that.
I like it too.
I like it, I like it.
Oh, by the way, there was roast beef over there. Do you like it?
We like it!
Oh, there was coffee over there. Do you like it?
We like it!
I'm happy to eat delicious food!
We like it!
Do you like it, Karl?!
Unfortunately, this is the truth.
Do you like it?! Do you like coffee and roast beef at the same time?!
"Like" and "love" are different.
This is really difficult!
Oh, it's a phone call.
Oh, go ahead. I won't tell anyone who doesn't have a chip.
You're smart!
Hello?
Yes, hello, Tetsu-chan?
Oh, Minami! It's rare to see you as a childhood friend.
What? Can't I make a phone call?
What's with you? Are you drunk?
Hmm... I...
I like you, Tetsu-chan.
Jeez! That's enough! Huh?! What?!
Is there something you want me to do for you?! Huh?!
Huh?!
You can't tell "like" and "love" apart?!
You're really stupid!
Now, the next skip is...
Mayutan wants to be loved!
Mayu!
Huh?
Were you singing the only song Kawaii Voice Chef released?
No, I wasn't!
Weren't you singing "Curry Rice School" just now?
No, I wasn't!
The only song you released?
No, I wasn't!
Oh, it's almost time!
Yeah!
Are you ready?
I'm ready!
Really?
Yeah!
Coming!
Ah, it's been a while since I graduated high school...
Come in, come in!
Thank you for coming!
What a wonderful house!
Oh, Morita-kun, it's been a while!
It's been a while! I was surprised you came!
I was surprised!
I knew you two were dating since high school, but I didn't expect you to get married...
Tetsuya asked me to cry and get married, so I had no choice!
No, no, no...
No, no, I really want you to get married!
What?
No, no, no...
Yes, yes, yes!
I'll ask him and...
Um...
I'll beg him for about ten days...
And he'll marry me...
Yes, yes...
Yes...
Oh, by the way...
Where's Fusemia?
Oh, she said she suddenly had a stomachache...
Eh?!
Did she really run away?!
She was so energetic until yesterday...
Right?
Hmm...
I feel sorry for her for not coming...
Ah...
Well...
I feel sorry for you two...
Ah! That's right!
Do you want to see the photos you sent me in high school?
Eh?!
No, I'm embarrassed!
Ouch!
Let's see, let's see!
You're stronger than usual...
First of all...
Hmm?
This!
Ah!
I'm embarrassed!
Ah...
It's when you two climbed Mt. Fuji!
Ah...
This was posted right after school, but it's about to die!
Ah...
Next...
This!
Phew...
Ah...
No!
It's from when we went to Goethe's together!
Ah, this is from before, when I didn't eat at all and when I ate all of it, I was so hungry I almost died!
Next is... This!
Ah! It's from when we did a prank where we cut off our balance suit!
Why am I still alive?!
You two always looked like you were having fun!
No, no, no, I've died countless of times!
I've died countless of times!
Thank you for bringing back such nostalgic photos!
Actually, we have another present for you two!
Eh?! What is it?!
Mayu-chan, Morita-kun, congratulations on your marriage!
Eh?! Ah! Eh?! Thank you!
What is it?! What is it?!
Wow, you've got something that looks like a balloon!
Wow!
You've got a thick hose!
Eh?!
No! What should I do?!
Eh?!
I forgot to inflate the balloon...
You forgot to inflate it?!
I'm sorry! I'll do it right now!
Ah! It's okay, it's okay! Just leave it like this!
Eh?!
You don't want it?
Eh?! Eh?! Eh?!
Eh?! Ah! Both of you...
Friendship since high school...
You don't care about it at all, do you?!
Our future...
You don't care about it at all, do you?!
It was stupid of me to have my hopes high!
Ah...
As I thought, we are...
Stupid classmates!
All of this area's emotions are like that!
Mayu, your classmates are in trouble!
Eh?! I got it!
I'll take it!
Eh?!
I'll take it!
You'll take it?!
Ah, really?!
In that case...
Let's do an ear piercing!
That's right!
First of all!
That's right! Let's go!
First of all, do an ear piercing properly!
Right? Since you said it's quite dangerous...
It seems like you'll make a lot of noise!
Ah...
It's just a matter of whether you'll let me do it or not...
Well, well, it's friendship, after all!
That's right!
It's friendship, right?!
Are you doing it?!
Are you okay?!
Of course I'll do it!
Okay!
It's friendship, after all!
Then...
Please do it!
Eh?!
Oh oh oh oh!
Quite a momentum! Enough! Quit it!
Stop it! Stop it! This momentum is great!
Whoa whoa whoa whoa! Wait, wait, wait! Wait! Mayu! Wait, you must be bitten!
What are you doing?! You... Stop it!
Eyebrows! Eyebrows!
I... I just looked like violence!
But, you know, I'm glad!
I'm so happy!
You're so happy for us...
As I thought, we are...
Loved!
Can you two in the middle say that with all your hearts?
You guys were suffering the most!
I'd like to give you a present...
Shall we go back now?
Ah! Wait a minute! Wait a minute!
Actually, I found something very nostalgic the other day...
Take a look at it and go back!
You...
I'll pay you back about 600 times!
Hey, hey, hey!
Hey, hey, what's wrong with you? What's that voice?
Wow!
What's wrong with you?
What is it? It's a little funny!
What is it?
Look! Look!
Wait a minute! I'm sorry!
You know...
When I was in high school...
This sexual machine...
The science experiment...
It was so exciting!
That's why I bought it at the online auction!
Wow...
It's nostalgic...
Shall we take a picture and go back?
Aren't you going to touch it?
Ah! Ah! Ah!
Here...
So you say you don't need stimulation anymore, huh?!
Ahaha! As I thought, I'm a stupid woman!
Can you not make my wife cry?
I'll touch you. I'll touch you.
Really?
Yes, touch me.
Then, everyone, please come forward.
Come forward, come forward!
First of all, Mogaya, the way you brought your eyebrows is strange.
What's wrong with your eyebrows?
My bangs are stuck in my face!
Ahaha!
Well, well, well, the volume may be a little strong.
Well, for now, everyone, come forward.
Come forward for now.
Let's come closer.
Come closer for now.
What's this thing called eyebrows?
Everyone will first hold hands.
Wow!
What?!
That's...
Let's get a little closer.
Ahaha!
I can't hold it.
Well, well, well.
Let's give it a try.
Give it a try.
Den-chan, Den-chan, hold its...
That's disgusting!
Is this really okay?
Den-chan, hold its arms.
Wait, that's impossible!
Den-chan, Den-chan, Den-chan, Den-chan, Den-chan, Den- chan, Den-chan, Den-chan,
Den-chan, hold its arms.
What's wrong with you?
I don't know what's wrong with me.
What?
Well, well, well, well, well.
I don't know what you're doing.
Anyway, let's go.
No, no, no.
Wait a minute.
Don't make me look like a bad guy.
Not really.
Let's just touch it.
I'm not going to touch it yet.
Just touch it. From above.
From above.
Really?
Wait a minute.
I'm crying.
Wait a minute.
Can you do it?
Wait a minute.
Is this okay?
If you say it's okay,
if you say it's wrong,
please don't do it.
I'm begging you.
My bangs are getting heavier.
What?
My bangs are getting heavier.
Can you do it?
Hey!
Wait a minute.
I'm sorry.
At this pace,
you can push it for 40 minutes.
Wait a minute.
Really?
No sound.
Only sound.
Hey!
Hang in there!
Is it too strong?
Is it too strong? Wait a minute!
Is there any volume there?
It's scary to touch here!
Max!
Let's weaken it a little!
Is it okay there?
Hang in there!
It's very severe!
If you weaken it a little, you can do it!
Okay, let's go!
You can do it!
It's still there!
Okay!
It's okay there!
It should be okay there!
Okay, you can do it!
Wait a minute!
You can do it!
Okay!
Okay, you can do it!
Just one more!
Just one more and it's over!
No, no, no!
Why did you talk?!
No, this way!
Okay!
I'm sorry!
To the front? To the front?
To the front.
Take it to the front.
I feel like there is no time left.
Seems like there is no time left.
Even though there is a commander that says "Please lock me up",
but I wonder how the four of you will feel about it.
In the end, all of you will...
No, I can't do it! No, I can't do it!
No, I can't do it!
I'll do it.
No way!
What do you mean "no way"! It doesn't make sense!
Lock me up! Can I lock you up?
I don't mind, right? I don't mind!
OK! OK! Good! Good! Good!
OK! Well...
You're all so young!
The next skit is...
Katsuya!
Excuse me.
Welcome! Welcome to Katsuya!
It's been a while.
You used to close your shop all the time.
I'm sorry.
Sometimes I close my shop and go to training all over the country.
Training?
No, you don't serve food in this shop, do you?
You just put in katsu, right?
What is training?
To put it simply, I go to be scolded by people all over the country.
You go to be scolded?
Yes.
Sometimes I'm late for my appointment on purpose.
What do you do?
Do you get scolded and put in katsu to make use of it?
Yes.
You do it yourself, don't you?
I study all my life.
You're stoic.
Yes.
By the way, my friend gave me a lot of trouble today.
I'd like you to put katsu in it.
I see.
Can I?
Yes.
First of all, I'd like you to put katsu in it.
It's been a year since you started high school.
Now you're in a club.
Are you sure you can keep up with your friends?
Well, you know, in April, you'll be seniors or bosses.
You'll have responsibilities.
I'm sure you have a lot of worries about what you should do.
I see.
How about putting katsu in it before you get married?
Before you get married...
Oh, I see.
But is katsu related to worries about club activities?
Think you've been fooled and try it.
Well, you're right about that.
Please do it.
Yes!
I'll put katsu in it before I get married!
It looks good.
Wow!
What?
Hey, look! What do you think?
Oh, not bad.
Hey, isn't it a little cold for a wedding ceremony tomorrow?
I wanted you to see it first.
No, I'm not sure if someone like me can get married and be happy.
Hey, you're not confident? Do you think you're the only one?
What?
I don't have confidence in becoming a good wife.
But you can do it because you're not alone.
Hey, believe in yourself more.
Believe in people around you.
Don't think you're alone in everything.
Cut!
Wow!
First of all, your outfit is amazing.
Does it cost you money?
Yes, it does.
I'm from a real estate company.
Oh, I see. You're a professional. It's encouraging.
That's great.
But why don't you rely on your juniors and friends?
Oh, I see. It's important to rely on people.
Thank you.
Can I move on to the next concern?
Yes, of course.
It's an Ali concern.
At work, he couldn't tell the woman he was always interested in how he was doing, and she quit his job.
But he doesn't have the courage to contact her.
Hmm...
Well, there are a lot of concerns like this.
What should I do?
Well, how about Osekkai kohai katsu?
Osekkai kohai katsu... Oh, this one.
I'm interested in Osekkai kohai katsu.
Well, I'd like one of those.
I'll go with Osekkai kohai katsu!
Osekkai...
Yeah.
Senpai! Let's go home together!
Stop it!
Everyone in the circle will make fun of us!
Why don't you let me say it to the person you want me to say it to?
I can't believe I can go home with such a cute kohai.
Senpai, you must be happy.
Well, it's annoying.
But you don't seem to be in a good mood today.
Yeah, I'll go home alone.
What happened? Please tell me.
Well, the girl I was interested in quit her job.
Hmm...
Then I'll comfort you.
So let's go home together!
You're so nice. You don't seem to have any worries.
Don't be spoiled.
Huh?
Did you think I wasn't hurt because you were so cold to me?
But...
I have no choice but to do my best!
If I give up, I'll be separated from you.
If it's for something important, I have no choice but to act, right?!
Gaah!
Taishou, are you crying?!
No, this is too sweet and sour!
Why can't you notice?!
Oh, me?! No, I don't think it's about me, but...
Ah, the more Taishou gets into it...
Well, it's true that her acting ability is strong.
Yes, yes, yes, yes...
Well, you know, it's only in this season when new students come in.
Spring is the season of spring.
Ah, there is also spring!
Yes, yes, yes, yes...
Ah, I see, there is also spring here.
I'm particular about the material.
No, as expected of Taishou!
Then, may I read the next concern?
Yes.
Well...
Continuing...
It's a concern from Hantoumei Ningen-san.
Well...
Even though you have homework you must do, you mess up your smartphone.
As a result, you forget your homework for spring break.
Well, well...
This is common, isn't it?
Yes, yes...
No matter what you do, you mess up your smartphone.
Hmm...
What should you do?
Isn't this difficult?!
I see!
Well, it's about time...
Yes.
Shall we eat spicy katsu?
Spicy katsu?!
Yes.
That slightly spicy one!
Yes, but...
Yes.
Among the spiciness, there is also sweetness.
Ah, that's right!
Yes, yes...
Ah, I'm looking forward to it!
Yes, yes...
Then, please give me one!
Yes!
Let's eat spicy katsu!
This is amazing!
Huh?
It was a middle school student!
Which is more important, studying or playing with your phone?
- Well, that's studying, but... - Then what if you study?
Well, you're right, but...
I can't help playing with it.
Huh?
What?
This is scary!
What?
Oh, I know! I know! I'll put up with my phone!
Do you really know what you're doing?
Watching idol comedy shows late at night, writing problems on Twitter, and even watching live streams!
Study more, you idiot!
- Cut! - It's too hot! Wait a minute!
She said a lot of things just now!
- Are you okay? - Hundreds of thousands of people just cut this stream.
That's right! There was a "computer pattern" just now, wasn't there?
- She's so powerful! - This is a scary video!
- Huh? What kind of face is she making right now?! - I don't know!
- She's laughing! - No, no, but...
- I wanted her to be a little spicy. - No, no, it wasn't spicy at all!
- No, look at this! - This is scary!
- No, it's amazing! - If I were watching, I'd be like, "Huh?!"
- Your body would be cut off! - Yes, yes, yes!
- Wow, this is amazing! - Yes, yes, yes!
- Can I say one last thing? - Yes, yes!
Problems, right?
This is a problem for Prince Nogizaka.
Every time I experience failure at work,
I get depressed right away and don't want to go to work the next day.
- Well, it happens over and over again, doesn't it? - Yes, yes, yes!
- I'd like you to include "katsu" in this. - I see!
Well, how about "kosokosomaidkatsu"?
"Kosokosomaidkatsu"?
Well, "kosokoso" is good, but "maid" is good, right?
- Yes! - Okay, let's do it!
"Kosokosomaidkatsu"!
Master! Moe, moe, kyun!
Oh, sorry! I got carried away.
It's true. If others find out we're dating, they'll get mad at you.
Sorry about that. But looking at you makes me want to cheer up.
What's wrong? Did something happen?
Actually, I messed up at work.
Moe, you can't be depressed forever!
You're the one I chose, so pull yourself together!
Huh? Captain, isn't this the usual "katsu"? No, not yet!
The real "katsu" starts now!
Now?! What do you mean?
- Huh? Huh? - Oh! Master!
- Welcome back! It's been a while! - No... no...
You've been to this store, too! I'm so happy to see you again!
R-R-Riria... Do you know this master?
Yes! He's the master who used to visit me when I was working at the store!
I'm so happy to see you again! Oh, you look so happy!
Let's do the usual! One, two! Moe, moe, kyuun!
See you later!
Wow! There's a lot more than this store!
In that case...
Shouldn't you use that motivation for work, Master?!
That's too scary! The boss was listening too much!
I'm Motoyan!
Motoyan?! Oh, you're Motoyan and Tassaka!
Oh, really?!
Is the backyard okay now? Are you two fighting?
It's okay!
Is it?
Wow, that's pretty intense!
That's all for today's menu. How was it?
I'm sure the people who sent in their concerns are happy about it!
That's great!
But if there's someone who's angry because of you...
You should cherish that person!
I'll keep that in mind!
Do you want me to put you in jail too?!
Not at all!
Now, the next skit is...
YouTuber Stalker
Nogizaka Skip Live is fun!
Oh, next is Stalker!
I love Stalker!
Do you really like it?
Yes, I do. I love it.
Really?
But I'm looking forward to it!
It's started!
Wait a minute.
Can you hear this voice from a place other than a computer?
No way, Sakura-chan!
No, no, no.
But I'm sure I heard it from nearby.
Gulugulu~
Oh, over there!
Kon'cha! Gulugulu~
I'm Strawberry's newborn baby, Stalker!
What?!
Hello, everyone!
I'm Stalker's best friend, Tama-chan!
Nice to meet you!
Where did those two come in from?!
Oh no, oh no, oh no...
Huh?!
She said she's a Stalker fan, but I wonder which Strawberry is scared?!
We love you! We love you!
They can read our voices!
Oh no, oh no, oh no...
Oh, Stalker!
Then why don't we cast a spell that will make you all happy?
Isn't it a good idea to have a one-time commitment?
You're right!
Oh no, oh no, oh no...
It's coming! It's coming!
No, no, no...
Stand up!
I'm really sorry, I'm really sorry...
Stand up!
Very, very, very, very...
Strawberry!
Tsuki, tsuki, tsuki, tsuki!
I'm a crescent moon girl who shines in the night sky! Tsuki!
Tsuki, tsuki, tsuki, tsuki!
Saku-chan!
I'm sorry for Mizuki, but let's run away!
Yes! I'm sorry, Yamashita-san!
Huh? Why are we running away?
Then I'll call you!
Tama-tama-tama-tama-tama-mingo!
Tama-tama-tama-tama-tama-migo!
Tama-tama-tama-tama-tama-mingo!
The last one is Sakura-chan, okay?
Let's all ride happily together.
The exception is Stella-chan.
Saku-chan, I love you, I love you!
Berry, berry, berry, berry!
Strawberry! Become a cherry!
Cherry, berry, berry, berry! Cherry, berry, berry, berry!
Let's cast a spell on the strawberries over there to make them happy!
I love you! I love you!
"Skip to Ten"!
Here we go! "The Skip to Ten"! I'm Toshiko Kuromiyanagi, the host.
I'm Hidoshi Kusei, the host.
Since we're doing a live show today, we don't have much time, so let's get started!
Yes! This week's fifth place goes to...
The second place goes to...
"Mukai Kade Shan"!
Congratulations!
Thank you!
Congratulations!
Thank you! I'm Mukai Kaze!
You sang the second verse of "Mukai Kaze Shan"!
There are 46 verses in total...
...but this is the second verse!
You're still in second place!
Please sing "Mukai Kaze Shan" three times!
Yes! Thank you!
It's the 46th verse!
All right! Let's hear it!
This week's fifth place goes to...
"Mukai Kaze Shan"!
The second verse!
I was ignored by a cute puppy
I lost my wireless earphones
The clothes I bought fell down right away
I was caught by the local police
This is sad...
Ah, even so, I'll live on with all my might
There's nothing good about it
Ah, even so, I'll live on today
I hope there won't be anything tomorrow
Thank you!
This week's 4th place is...
Tehepero Musume.
Congratulations!
Hello!
Congratulations!
Thank you!
We are...
Tehepero Musume.
Tehepero...
Man, things are getting old again today.
But since it's spring, everyone seems to have started something new.
Oh, is that so?
By the way, what did you start?
Yes!
Aya-chan is...
Aya-chan...
...into hand spinners!
Hand spinners!
I know!
There were hand spinners!
Where did they go?
Yes, and you are?
I am...
...white Taiyaki!
How nostalgic!
I know!
No, it's not "I know".
I know!
Don't say it out loud!
And you are?
I am...
...a dark highball after work!
You know!
I know!
You know!
You're supposed to be 15 years old!
Don't say it!
We're going now!
We're going to sing now!
Everyone in Tehepero Musume, please stand by!
Alright!
Everyone!
Let's...
...ra...
...go!
Let's ra go!
Go away!
Let's ra go is...
Let's ra...
Even my mother wouldn't say it!
Let's ra go is...
I'll say it!
I'll say it, Kuromiyanagi-san?
Yes!
You'll say it? Let's ra go generation?
Yes!
Oh, you will?
Alright!
Let's hear it!
Holding onto my phone, I've been waiting for your email all this time.
From your text message in my electronic pack,
more than what's been transmitted by infrared rays,
I'm contacting love's mail center,
but I'm not dead, I'm completely fine,
so give me courage one more time.
There's no limit to love, you know?
Pepero!
You guys are probably me and a turtle, right?
The 3rd place of this week is...
"I love Shishi Boy" by Ninja Girls.
Actually, Ninja Girls are on tour at the moment, so we're having a broadcast.
Then, let's call the reporter.
Higashikun of Okkakeman!
Higashikun!
Hello! I'm Higashibukuro of Okkakeman!
Right now, I'm in New York where Ninja Girls are on tour!
New York! That's amazing!
Then, let's welcome Ninja Girls!
Shishi! Shishi!
They're doing it!
Excuse me, we don't have much time today.
Can you stop doing "shishi"?
It's okay. We don't have much time.
Okay, we don't have much time.
Then, let's have the 3 of you say hello!
Her English is the worst!
She only speaks English under the age of 10!
Then, let's have you listen to the 3rd place of this week!
"I love Shishi Boy" by Ninja Girls!
I love Sushi Boy
Sushi, Sushi, Sushi Boy!
The curry you made me eat
Is sizzling
Even the fried cod roe is wonderful
I fell in love
With your straight eyes
I want to chase
Your shiny uniform
No matter how much
Cod roe is in it
Let's make salmon curry
Into a thick curry
I love you every
Cod roe is in it
I love you
Cod roe and your place
I love Sushi, I love Sushi Boy!
Why did this song sell in America?
2nd place of this week!
I love you
Congratulations to all the Setsuna girls who will carry their feelings to their graves without anyone telling them!
Congratulations!
Huh?
Huh? Setsuna girls?
Huh?
Where are you?
Huh?
I'm sorry, Setsuna girls.
I'm sorry.
What are you doing, Setsuna girls?
Hey!
What are you doing?!
Hey!
Hurry up and come over here!
Come over here, you guys!
Irang!
Where are you guys coming from?! Come out normally!
Hurry up and come over here!
Hurry up and introduce yourselves!
I'm Seira, and I'm in charge of darkness, and I want to go behind you.
What a small voice.
I'm Nao, and I'm in charge of darkness, and I'm embarrassed by your voice.
I'm Luna, and I'm in charge of blackness, and I don't want you to see me or hear me.
You won't hear anything from this distance.
I'm Seira, and I'm doing my best to live today.
I'm Setsuna girls.
We asked Setsuna girls to sing for us.
Here's a commercial.
Are you serious?!
No, no.
Can I get your autograph or shake your hand?
You'd be fine if they died.
You love idols, don't you?
My voice hurts!
I know!
No matter how cute you are, you're much older than me!
You're definitely older than me!
What?
Whoa!
Look!
Wow!
Don't "wow" me!
You suck at "wow"ing!
I know!
She's running away!
Go!
I'm sorry.
The ladies are really angry.
The one at the very end was seriously angry.
She's so ridiculous.
She's ridiculous.
All right, let's have her sing.
Kaishi's second love story.
Tell anyone your feelings and take them to the grave.
When I was in elementary school, I fell in love with you and laughed with you.
Since then, I've been going to your house every day.
I tried hard in high school and went to the same school.
Ah, but I'm about to graduate high school.
I haven't said a word yet.
I know your address and ID.
I only know one thing.
I only know your feelings.
I can't say "suck it up."
I can't say "keep a life."
I can't say "I love you."
I can't say "keep a life."
Scary, scary, scary!
Scary!
The lyrics, song title, choreography, everything is scary!
Now, finally, I'm in first place!
Namiya's Nogizaka, Ayumu Kitsui is in first place!
Congratulations!
You look beautiful as always. Congratulations!
Finally, you're in first place with such a long hit! Congratulations!
I'm glad you sang for me. Because singing is my heart.
I see. How do you feel about your 30th anniversary?
I still want to keep singing. Because singing is my heart.
I see. Please stand by.
I can listen to you today as well.
I should have listened to you many times, but I only have one phrase left.
I'm going to memorize it all today.
Let's memorize it together.
Let's listen to it!
Thank you!
From the moment we met, I somehow realized this day would come.
The person I've always loved is leaving without turning back.
Scattering the waves of time, the blue mountains, the red hills, the west coast, the blue sea.
The moment we walked the hills and hills, on the guardrail,
I hit my shin that was badly scratched.
Hit your shin on the guardrail?
Ah, on the hill of tears, on the guardrail,
The moment we walked the hills and hills, on the guardrail,
I hit my shin that was badly scratched.
Ah, on the hill of tears,
- Thank you very much! - Thank you very much!
Wow, what a song to end the show with!
Thank you very much.
Huh? What?
Huh? What, what, what?
- Something's moving... - Huh? What are you doing?!
- Shibata-sama! Now's your chance! - Huh?!
Shibata?!
Huh?!
Huh?! Huh?!
Captain Yuri...
This is your grave!
What are you guys doing?!
Hey! What are you saying?!
Oh my, I feel sorry for you for doing such a thing.
Huh?!
- Huh?! - A-amazing power!
- Huh?! This... Huh?! This is... Huh?! - Huh?!
Thank you very much!
What is this, hey?!
What's with this thing?!
- Then... - Yes?!
Special move...
Super...
Summer Yuri Crash!
Huh?!