AISubs v3.5
"Baka" has started again this week! "Keyaki te kakenai"
Hello, I'm Shigeru Sakamoto.
And this is "Keyaki Tenden"!
One, two...
Nyan kara no kuma-chan
Ooooh
What was that?
"Ooooh" of idol fans.
Ooooh
Nyan kara no kuma-chan
Let me announce this week's topic!
This week's topic is...
Report what you can't do early!
I can't do this!
Yone-san's "I can't do this" case was discovered in her 4th single campaign!
In order for this kind of thing not to happen in the future, we will ask each of them what they can't do and make it clear!
Today, too, I wonder if Amon-sensei is here?
Is he here today?
Let's call him and see.
Amon-sensei!
Yes, yes!
Sensei, you're here!
Yes!
Sensei, where are you today?
I'm sorry, I'm not behind you. I'm at Ikebukuro cafe.
Ikebukuro is Ikebukuro!
You're at Ikebukuro cafe!
Last time, when this was over, you said you were going to the supermarket to buy ohagi. Did you buy it?
Ah! That day, I bought ohagi, sashimi and white rice.
That's a crazy menu!
When this is over, will you go home?
Today, if there's fried fish, I'll go.
I see! Today, you feel like you're eating fried food!
That's right!
Please do your best for "Jersey Fry" today, too!
Yes, thank you!
Yes, please!
That's amazing!
Kanji keaki, hiragana keaki and katakana keaki all together!
Ah!
It's the first time!
It's not the first time!
All together!
Isn't it official with katakana keaki?
He's saying something like "oh!"
It's not a proper one.
If you don't mind me saying it, I'm also a member of Sony.
I'm not a member of Sony!
I'm a member of Otaburo and Ikebukuro!
I'm a member of Ikebukuro!
First of all, what is impossible for a handsome man like you?
Looking at people eating tomatoes!
Oh!
This is...
What does it mean?
I'm not good at eating tomatoes,
but if you only look at the tomato itself, it's okay.
But if you look at people eating it up close,
it makes you feel like you're eating a camel's jaw.
What?
If you only look at people eating tomatoes up close,
it makes you feel like you're eating a camel's jaw.
It's like you're losing your strength.
What? Is it like you're chewing on something inside?
No, it's like...
It's like "ptss"!
At that moment, you're like "haa"!
Then, let's see how bad she is at it!
Let's eat the tomato next to her!
This... I see, it's cut...
But is it okay for people to eat it?
Yes.
Come in the middle!
It's a TV!
It's a TV! Come in the middle!
Go like this!
Stand up!
Look forward!
I'm going to get in your sight a little!
A little...
Come on! Come on!
Please!
If you don't, we're just going to eat the tomato!
It's going to be a video!
Look at me, Koike!
Look!
Koike, look at me!
Don't hide your face!
I'm going to eat you first!
Okay?
Look at me!
What is this?
What? What do you mean?
I don't know what you're saying!
Why?
Because you're losing your strength!
What do you mean?
What do you...
But this is like when you're sick, you're psychologically like...
This is...
Why?
Your jaw is not out yet, Koike!
Is it still out?
It's okay now.
I have to watch a video of me eating a tomato.
You can't eat a tomato anymore?
No.
You can't eat a tomato anymore?
No.
Look at me, Tsuchiya-san!
I can't see you.
Look at me, Tsuchiya-san!
You're cute!
I can't see you!
Look!
You're cute! Look!
No!
Look!
What's going on?
Look!
It's collapsing!
Look!
What's with this crazy show?!
Why did this happen?
Let's ask Dr. Amon!
Why is this happening?
Not only do I hate eating it, but I also hate watching people eat it.
When you're young, you think that one scene of a zombie movie and a person eating a tomato and spitting out red juice are connected in your mind.
So, in your mind, a person eating a tomato is a person who has become a zombie.
Doctor!
Yes?
Isn't it impossible?
No, no, no!
Let's ask him.
Have you ever seen a zombie movie like this?
It's not a zombie movie.
When I don't go to bed at 9 a.m., my dad sends me a picture of a scary zombie like a wolf with a fax machine.
To make you go to bed?
My dad draws it.
Now that I know it, I think my dad eats tomatoes a lot.
What?!
Dr. Amon!
Yes?
Yes!
Miracle correct answer!
No, no, no, this is already a natural result.
Yes.
Next, what is Takamoto Ayaka's impossible thing?
Sound of magic tape!
Ah, this is...
When I was in elementary school,
a girl who was about 7 years older than me had been playing with this band-aid magic tape like this.
Ah!
All my life!
Ah!
From then on, every time I heard about it, I couldn't do it anymore.
Eh?!
How bad is she at it?
Let's try it out!
Ah!
What is this?!
This is amazing!
This...
Wow! Amazing!
Hold it! Hold it over here!
Hold it! Hold it!
Hold it! Hold it over here!
Ah!
If you get used to big ones like this, you'll get used to small ones like this, too.
Look! It's a little better, isn't it?
I hate it.
After all, you're a rough fisherman, so you'll get used to this kind of thing.
I hate it.
Look! It's a piece of magic tape for craftsmen.
It's a piece of magic tape for craftsmen.
It's scary.
You'll get used to it, won't you?
That's right.
Here we go.
Ah!
It's cute.
I hate it.
You're an adult.
If you say it like that, you'll get reduced.
Next, without caring about it.
I hate it.
That's right.
Without caring about it, you'll get reduced.
Excuse me, teacher, is it okay?
It's okay.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry again and again.
It's a piece of magic tape for craftsmen.
Is this job long?
Yes, it's been 40 years.
Ah, 40 years!
Wow, it's just one piece of it.
Wow, amazing!
Wow, it's fast!
It's fast from here!
Teacher, you're amazing!
You're great!
Okay, without caring about it.
Without caring about it.
What's that?
What is Mr. Amon's analysis of this case?
Probably, during this period of time,
removing the cover
and the sound of this magic tape
and the bottom of your heart
were connected and you started to feel fear.
Even now, I still remove it.
If you remove the cover.
When I see it's done, I really want to remove it.
You want to remove it.
Teacher, you're wrong!
You're wrong!
What's wrong with you?
No, no...
Well...
If you give me one more chance, I'll do my best.
This program is brought to you by Sony Music.
Next, what is impossible for Sugai Yuka?
Pierrot!
This is...
When I was little and often went to see circuses, I was really scared of it.
Also, I was scared of Pierrot standing in front of a hamburger shop.
In fact, Sasaki family also says that they are not good at Pierrot.
First of all, let's verify how bad they are at it with photos.
This is scary!
This is a mask!
A mask?
This is not good. This is a mask.
Only eyes are open.
This is scary!
I can't look at it!
What about you, Sasaki?
This is not good.
Then, what are they scared of specifically?
They will do this experiment.
Next, from a normal face, you will gradually become Pierrot.
What?
Little by little.
Where is it bad?
Yes.
Then, little by little, you will become Pierrot.
Everyone, please take a look.
First of all, this.
How is it?
Is it okay?
Next, this.
Pierrot. Pierrot.
What?
Pierrot.
Pierrot is not good!
Pierrot is not bad!
It's okay.
Next.
It's okay.
It's heavy!
It's surprisingly strong.
Pierrot is still scary, isn't it?
That's right.
After all, his nose turned red and he looked like he was making fun of him.
That's right.
Next.
This is...
How is it?
It's okay.
It's okay, isn't it?
It's okay.
Pierrot from Osaka is okay, isn't it?
This is okay, isn't it?
It's okay.
There is still more.
Next.
His mouth is scary.
Ah, first!
Is it his mouth?
His mouth is red and big, so it's scary.
I want to see the next one.
There is another one, right?
Ah, what is it?
His eye make-up.
That's right.
But it's cute that he's wearing that trainer.
It's cute, isn't it? Gray's trainer.
Gray's Alaska bear trainer.
It's cute when you think about it like that.
It's cute, isn't it?
What is Dr. Amon's analysis of Piero?
Even in Western countries, there are a lot of people who are afraid of Piero.
Johnny Depp also has the same symptom or psychology.
People are first blessed and born around you.
As a result, everyone grows up thinking they are full of good people.
As you grow up, you gradually learn that there are bad people and good people inside you.
But honestly, if you suddenly look at the bad side of the person you thought was a good person,
Along with intense shock, it leads to a fear of Piero.
So, if you see a kind-hearted earner eating a cake in a demon-like state,
What do you do?
Even if it's sticky...
On the contrary, people like this are wary of good people.
And it's easy to be fooled by the pattern of people who are usually kind.
I see, I see.
Yes, please be careful.
I see, I see.
This person may be kind, but he is weak.
- Yes, it's definitely okay. - No, it's like...
- He looks like he's going to be fooled. - He looks like he's going to be fooled.
No, first of all, I'm scared of him.
That's why you're careful at first, right?
When that person is kind and suddenly...
Ah, I didn't think you were that scary,
"but you're actually kind," and you think like that,
suddenly, the range of motion becomes wide.
Is that so? I have to be careful.
But you know that you can't tell by their white makeup and facial expressions, right?
- Certainly, that's right. - Even though they're laughing,
- you can tell by their scary eyes. - Yes, yes, yes.
- That's probably why. - You can't tell what they're thinking because of their facial expressions.
- Ah, then how about this? - Yes.
To make them think "Pierro isn't scary,"
even if there are two MCs, they'll keep doing it in Pierro's outfit.
- Ah! - Ah!
- That might be good. - Yes, it's scary, but...
- Every week... - Every week...
- Every week, I'll wear white. - White...
How troublesome!
- No, it's really troublesome. - Like a traveler.
- I'll wear white. - Thank you very much.
Next, what is Iguchi Mao's impossible thing?
Not sleeping during class.
- Ah... - Ah...
- Then, shall we move on? - Yes.
- Next... - Can we?
- Can we move on? - Eh...
Well... I'll leave it up to the flow.
- No, this is a little different, right? - A little, yes.
What do you mean?
It's been like this for a long time, but when I listen to the teacher,
I get sleepy, and the classroom is warm,
and it's noisy, and it's a good feeling,
and I'm like, "I'm going to wake up!", but I always fall asleep before I know it,
and I'm like, "I have to listen!", but I can't wake up,
and I fall asleep naturally, and it's quite difficult.
Huh? Iguchi, are you going to college or something?
I'm going to college.
- You went a lot, didn't you? - Eh, but...
- I barely made it to college, - Yeah.
and even when I was doing well, I couldn't get grades,
and even when the teacher called me "Iguchi-san!", I couldn't wake up,
and I thought I was pretty sick,
and the teacher looked me up on a lot of things,
but I didn't wake up, and... yeah.
And recently, it seems like he saw me look good, and he said, "I'm glad you look good."
I think Eguchi is still sick.
Liar!
What is Dr. Amon's analysis of this question?
There is a famous law of working ants.
A law, yes.
Yes, among working ants that are supposed to work, there is always a working ant that does not work.
Yes.
And Eguchi is also considered one of the working ants that do not work in human society.
Oh, there are ants in humans, too.
And Eguchi is already a college student, so this is not going to be fixed...
It's not going to be fixed?
It's not going to be fixed!
Yes, however, Edison and Gogo were also considered working ants that did not work when they were young,
and if such people find a field in which they can become absorbed in,
there is a possibility of making a great contribution to changing history.
So, if you find something you really want to do and think about it in class, you won't get sleepy.
So you're telling me to drop out of college, right?
Yes, I've already given up on my grades...
What do you like to do?
There's something I've been really passionate about...
I really liked stalking someone...
What now?
Stalking...
You stalked an artist?
I really liked stalking someone...
Are you okay?
I was really passionate about it...
There's something I've been really passionate about...
If you think about it all the time, you won't get sleepy.
Okay, let's do it for real this time.
No good!
Is it still hard for you?
She used to be a stalker!
A former stalker and now an idol!
I've never seen an idol like that in the past!
Are you from school?
I'm not from school!
I've only seen him about four times by chance, and I was curious about him, and I was dressed in a very strange way as a person, so I stalked him and saw what time he was passing by, and I stalked him.
You shouldn't say "stalker" too much.
It's not a stalker, it's like you've become a fan of someone interesting in the city.
But I was stalking only one person.
You shouldn't say "stalker" too much.
Next, what is impossible about Manel Nagaha?
Soap with patterns engraved on it.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I'm not good at engraving patterns on soap itself.
Have you ever engraved "muse"?
I'm okay with that, but...
Patterns?
I'm not good at engraving patterns, and there's a reason for it.
In Japanese history books, people who have become adults during the Jomon period engrave patterns on their faces as a way of passing.
They engrave it on their faces.
You mean tattoos?
No, they engrave it on their faces.
I'm not good at engraving patterns because I think about it from there.
What's that?
I've prepared a picture of what's wrong with soap.
Take a look at it, Manel.
Okay.
First of all, this one.
Oh, it's fine.
It's stylish. What about this one?
It's fine.
It's fine with letters and so on.
Next.
Oh...
This one?
I'm not good at engraving patterns as closely as a human's T-shirt.
I'm not good at engraving patterns in detail.
In detail...
It's in detail.
It's similar to the previous group.
Is it?
Next.
Oh...
I don't like this part. I don't like the lower left part.
Oh, the lower left part is detailed.
It's like a flower pattern.
There are some patterns that are messed up.
I don't like it.
So you can't use it.
I often get soap as a birthday present.
But I can't use it.
But if you use it, the pattern will disappear.
I don't like soap.
It's a special pattern.
Let's ask the teacher.
Teacher! Yes?
What were you doing?
I was eating jam toast.
Make sure you can eat fried food.
I'll keep my stomach open for that.
As expected of you, teacher.
As expected of you.
Teacher! Yes?
Did you notice the design of the pattern?
Yes.
There was a story about remembering memories.
Yes.
In other words, Mr. Nagahama is afraid of having a pattern engraved on his face.
This is because of the rejection of social labels.
Oh, it's like truth.
Yes.
In society, people call you "idol" or "entertainer".
Mr. Nagahama is not good at that.
When you are called "idol", you want to do something completely different from "idol".
This leads you to expand your possibilities.
If you run away from "detzel" too much, everything will be halfway through.
Please be careful.
I see.
It's like a smooth song.
Maybe it's because you ate jam toast.
How about you, Nell?
How would you answer?
Maybe it's because I ate jam toast.
Oh, that's what you meant.
It's obvious that you are right.
It seems like it, Mr. Nagahama.
Yes.
Well, I'm a little dissatisfied that you are right, but I can't help it.
Do you want me to say "Wow, you are right"?
I wanted you to say that.
What is the next impossible thing that Ozeki screams?
It's a shrimp in an ogakuzu.
What is it?
When I was little, my cousin's father sent me a cardboard box.
A live shrimp came out of it.
I still can't eat it.
Let's use a real object and verify how bad it is.
Well, Ozeki, stand up first.
Look at this.
Is it alive?
Oteki! Look!
Look!
It's creepy!
It's moving!
My legs are shaking!
It's a rockfish!
A rockfish jumped!
This is not good!
Really!
This is not good!
This is also not good!
What is this?!
Wow!
There are a lot of them!
Wow!
There are a lot of them!
I'm sorry, Ebi-san!
Wow!
In the first place,
why did you put this in your school uniform?
Rika is also not good.
Teacher!
Does this mean it's creepy?
Well...
Please listen to me, too.
I'm listening!
No one should not listen!
I'm listening every time!
Yes.
A rockfish symbolizes
a moving tongue
regardless of one's will.
The inside of the mouth is dry and rough.
The tongue moves regardless of one's will.
In other words,
this represents a lie.
Therefore,
rockfish are the type of people
who are least good at lying.
Even with social orders,
they cannot say anything to people.
They are honest and reliable people.
However,
when they see adults,
they may be angry and stressed.
They may be angry and stressed.
Huh?
Is it correct?
It's correct!
The teacher's happiest words.
I want to say something big again.
It's really correct!
Thank you very much!
Was it good, teacher?
Yes, well, psychology is like that. It's correct.
A little hungry, huh?
Can I buy two fried chicken?
Yes, it looks like you can eat it deliciously.
Wait a minute, what?
After this, we'll discover Sugai's hidden talent!
This program was brought to you by Sony Music.
Eight hundred and sixty yen...
What is it?
The contents of the bag!
Next time, we'll check the contents of the members' bags!
It's fucking boring!
The members' positive and negative answers will be revealed!
Fuck you!