AISubs v3.5
- Who are you? - Who are you to tell me what to do?
- You! - Stop it!
Where have I been?
Oh baby, oh sugar baby love
As soon as our eyes met, I fell in love for the first time
Painful, painful, painful, painful feelings
When I was born, magic medicine didn't work
Miracle power love's magic potion
Baby!
Eccentric, eccentric, eccentric boy
HOSTESS
HOSTESS. THREE YEARS IN A ROW. MATSUMOTO ONE YEAR.
I went to play in the countryside where my grandmother was during the summer vacation.
There, I caught five hostesses.
Looking at hostesses all day, I don't get tired of them.
After all, hostesses only raise girls.
Hostesses are nocturnal.
They don't move much in the morning.
But in the evening or so, they start shining brightly.
They're as beautiful as lies.
And they sing beautifully for you.
I want you. I want you.
I won't go back.
I want you. I want you.
I want all of love.
At nightfall, hostesses cry quietly.
I want you. I want you.
I love hostesses like you.
This program is brought to you by...
...the following sponsors.
Thank you for watching.
It's about time, isn't it?
Bye, everyone. See you later.
YOSHIO-CHAN!
THE END
The company's Rocket Futako Babaro is estimated to die at 2 o'clock in the morning.
The scene is in Switzerland.
Hmm, but it's upside down.
Hmm, she's a cheerful old woman at the end of her life.
It seems that you often hear her cheerful laughter.
Hmm, what else do you know?
She likes watching TV a lot and...
Is this maha fumiya?
Is it okay like this?
She used to be praised a lot.
I've heard that you like watching TV.
Oh, is that so?
It seems that you like watching "nasabana", which is an abbreviation of "nasa" in your mood.
What else do you know?
It seems that you disliked Fukuzawa Ana of "Nittere".
If you say "anai fire", "fire", it will cool down.
Hey, who did you ask?
I don't know.
If you know it, you won't suffer.
Hey!
These two are living a pretty poor life, aren't they?
Oh, you know what it is?
Yes.
Well, it seems like they're working part-time in order to make a living in this city.
Part-time?
Yes.
What kind of part-time job?
Well, you're a cook, aren't you?
Huh?
Why are you calling me "cook" again?
Don't make me say it over and over again.
Sorry.
Well, I'm going to tell you more than half of what I'm about to say, so listen carefully.
Huh?
According to my colleagues,
they always sleep until the last minute in the morning,
and when it's about ten seconds before closing, they wake me up on the phone and ask me for a favor.
And at the end of the year, when my cook friends invite me out for a party...
A party?
Oh, my.
I don't know if an amateur can do it.
Sometimes I say things like darkness.
How did you know?
Huh?
I don't know. I don't know.
Hey!
Hama-san.
Huh?
It's definitely a lie.
Huh?
What is it?
Cook-chan.
Cook-chan is lying.
Huh?
The company's...
Yes.
...Rocket Futago-baba used to be a teacher in elementary school.
A teacher?
Yes.
It seems like she doesn't have a hard life because of a favor.
Hmm.
What kind of teacher was she?
When students got hurt, she said, "It hurts, it hurts, fly away,"
and she flew away.
I don't know why.
Hama-san.
What's up?
This is serious.
What did you say?
The estimated time of death was 2 a.m., wasn't it?
Oh, that's right.
The last time the company's Rocket Futago-baba was shot was 3 a.m. Japanese time.
Huh? What do you mean?
Did you kill him and then let him fly away?
Hmm.
What a brilliant trick.
How did you know?
What would you do if I was the trickster?
Think about it as a trick.
The mystery only gets deeper.
Okay, you smelly guy, show me what you've got.
Yes, sir!
Hmm.
But I don't know, detective.
No, I don't know.
When you pull out the vacuum cleaner cord,
you see a sign that says "don't pull out more than red,"
but you don't know the meaning of the yellow tape in front of it.
Okay.
This way, this way.
Um, about this apartment...
Oh!
Um, it's on the first floor in the back.
Yes.
Um, it doesn't have a bath, but...
Yes, yes.
Um, it's quiet.
Is that so?
Um... and it gets a good breeze, too.
Is the bathroom the same?
The bathroom is the same, yes.
Oh, is that so?
Yes, yes.
Why?! Why are you looking at me like that?!
Oh, you're right.
What?! You're bringing me stuff again?! What the hell is this?!
Take it off! Stop it!
What?! Idiot! What is this?!
You're being mean!
You're gonna pay for this!
Take it off! You can't take it off after digging!
You're expensive but you're like this! What's this?!
Stop that!
That's not good!
Stop it!
That's not good!
Stop it!
That's not good!
And you!
Stop it!
Stop! Stop! Stop!
You! What are you doing?
What are you doing?
Don't touch me!
Who are you?
Are you having fun?
Hey!
I'll kill you!
Hey, what are you doing?
I'll destroy you!
I'll kill you!
Where did he go?
Uncle!
Hey!
Hey, uncle!
Here, eat this.
Ah, what's that?
Croquette.
Ah, croquette.
Eat, eat.
I'm hungry.
Well, it's not that bad.
Yes, yes.
Thank you, thank you.
You don't have anything to dip it in?
Ah, I forgot.
No, it's fine.
Are you okay?
No, I'm fine, I'm fine.
I'm sorry.
You know, the one with sauce and the one with soy sauce.
Yes, yes.
Right?
Well, either one is fine for me.
Ah, really?
Yes.
Did you say something?
Well...
Huh?
I haven't said it yet.
The other day...
Yes?
You bought me a dog.
Well, it's a little...
You know...
I'll say it.
No, no.
You know...
I've been thinking about it.
I'm glad you didn't say it.
What do you mean?
I don't think your mother will approve of it.
Of what?
Of you doing this all of a sudden.
Of me?
It has nothing to do with it. I wrote it.
No, I mean you...
I'm sorry for calling you "you".
No, it's fine.
You know...
I was thinking about how to deal with you.
I guess you're right.
What do you mean?
I'm being honest.
What do you mean?
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, but...
I guess you're right, too.
But you know...
Okay, okay.
But you know...
Okay, okay. Don't ask me.
So...
You bought a dog, so you can't buy me?
At that point...
I guess you're right.
So...
I don't know what you're talking about.
So...
Do you think of me as an old man or a lizard?
You see me as a lizard, so you think of me like that.
No, I don't.
Maybe you're right, but...
What I want to say is...
How can I say it?
I don't think you can do it like that.
You can't do it well.
No, I don't.
No, I mean...
See you.
I think you'll get tired of it.
Of what? Of me?
Yes.
Why?
At first it was rare.
Oh, you're a lizard old man. You're a lizard old man.
I went to school.
I finished school in the summer vacation.
I'm a lizard old man.
Until then, I was a sickly old man.
I can see it like that.
Thank you.
I can see it like that.
I'm a little happy when I go home and there's a lizard old man.
Right?
I know it.
I know it as an old man.
That's why I'm saying it.
But it's only for a day or two.
It's not like that.
No.
You don't like it?
No, no.
That's...
If you allow me to say it...
I think it's my last chance.
I don't know what you're talking about.
What's your last chance?
I want to settle down here.
I want to live a decent life.
Of course I have it.
Then you can come to my house.
I don't know how your mother will perceive it.
My mother has nothing to do with it.
And...
I...
I don't have a father.
Yes, you do.
What does it have to do with it?
That's why I'm saying it.
What are you talking about?
You're making me feel weird.
It's like you want me to say something.
To be honest, I know what you're talking about.
But you're making me feel weird.
That's why I'm telling you...
Dad...
Dad, right?
It's weird for you to say it from my mouth.
But if you say it, I think you'll say it.
I don't like it when you say things like that.
But you're a good dad.
I'm happy for you.
Really?
I'm happy for you.
That's good.
But you shouldn't say that.
I'll talk to my mom about it.
But you should say it clearly.
I don't like it when you say things like that.
I don't like it.
What do you mean?
I don't like it when you say things like that.
What is it?
You're stepping on my foot.
I say things like that.
When I get it, I say it.
That's one thing you need to know.
I don't know if I say things like that in front of kids,
but I think it's better to be clear about it.
So, old man, say whatever you want.
Old man, say it.
Old man, I think you and your mother
will have that kind of relationship.
I don't know what you mean by "that kind of relationship."
As long as you get along, that's fine with me.
That's not it.
You know,
I'm not a man for a long time.
That's a weird way of saying it.
That's not it.
As an old man, I don't have any functions.
Not recently.
But when I see your mother,
I think you and your mother will have that kind of relationship.
I'll say it.
I don't know what it is, but I'll say it.
Sexual desire.
Sexual desire?
Sexual desire is strong.
You and my mother will get along, right?
Yes, we will.
Can I say it? Can I say it perfectly?
Yes, you can say it.
Hey, you! Don't say it to people.
Yes.
I'm a "dosquebe".
You know, girls wear skirts and ties, right?
Yes, yes.
I'm not that kind of person.
So, when I see you and your mother, I don't know what time you will go to bed.
But, after you go to bed, I know you will be noisy.
I know you will be noisy.
But, it doesn't matter.
I don't know if you can stand that noise.
But, it doesn't matter. We can live together.
Really?
Yes.
Don't say that you took my mother. I will take you.
Old man, I will take your mother at night.
I'm asking you now if you can do that.
This is a man-to-man talk. Listen to me.
Hey!
No, no.
Your mother is not only yours anymore.
No, it's not like that. What are you talking about?
You don't know.
So, it's impossible. It's impossible.
I said it's impossible.
Old man...
It's true.
I don't know what's wrong with you, but you have to buy it for me.
I don't know how you say "buy it for me".
I was wrong.
I'm asking you now. What do you think of me?
Old man...
What?
I want to give you money.
I'm happy about it.
Thank you.
A lizard?
What do you think of it?
How can you say like that?
There are people who say like a lizard.
Well, but it can't be helped, so I don't know.
It can't be helped?
It can't be helped, I think.
Everyone is different.
If it's like that, let's stop it.
It can't be helped, but let's stop it.
No, it's true that there are places like lizards.
The life cycle with you is different.
It's true.
Right?
You can't move in winter.
Let me tell you.
I'll tell you everything about you.
In winter, you'll be like this all the time.
You can't move.
You can't step on Famicom.
You can't go out of Famicom.
That's a joke, but...
What is it?
I'm sorry.
Listen to me.
I'm listening.
You should have met my mother.
That's what I'm talking about.
You may look like this, but you have a big mouth.
You can say good things about your mother.
Then say it.
My mother is beautiful.
It doesn't matter if she's beautiful or not.
Let me ask you something.
How long has it been since your mother and father passed away?
Three years, I think.
I don't think there have been any men for three years.
What do you mean?
Boyfriends and such.
Friends!
I don't know.
It's not like that, is it?
No, it's not like that.
Is it true?
If it's true, say it.
Tell me.
It's not like that.
You're laughing.
I don't know what you're talking about.
It's not like that.
I don't know!
Get angry!
I'm going to be a father!
Hey, old man.
I'll hit you if you do that.
Hey, can I hit you?
Can I hit you?
No.
But if you're angry, I'll hit you.
Okay.
Forget it.
Are you crying?
I'm not crying.
Hey!
What?
You don't have a boyfriend.
What's so funny?
It's not funny.
What is it?
It's not funny.
Hey, I'm counting on you.
Okay.
Bye.
You don't eat croquettes, do you?
What?
I'm telling you now.
Oh, really?
Yeah, get me more insects or something.
But...
No, it's good. Mom made it.
I know about croquettes, but I don't have any.
Then try it.
No, I don't have any.
Then eat one.
No, no, no, I really don't want it.
Yeah, you only eat insects.
No, that's a little different from a normal old man.
This is different.
Yeah, I know.
You don't know that.
You don't know it because you don't know it.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah.
Then tell your mom as much as you can.
Yeah.
And tell your dad, too.
Yeah.
You don't have much money.
It's weird for you to say you want to change yourself.
Tero?
Yeah.
What are you doing?
What's weird about it?
You just said you wanted it.
What? What? What?
You just made me angry.
What? What?
What do you mean you want it?
You said you wanted it.
You said it yourself.
You said you wanted it.
What's wrong with you?
Don't do it, old man. It's not as fun as you think it is.
You know that, don't you?
When you first sang, you were cheerful, but you danced like a lizard, didn't you?
You can't do it like that.
You did it in the beginning. Don't think that's all you can do, old man.
I did it once in a while, didn't I?
Well, you did it, didn't you?
I'll do it.
Right?
Don't overdo it, old man.
Just don't look down on me.
You know that, don't you?
- You know that, don't you? - Yes, sir.
This is who you are. No more, no less.
- You know that, don't you? - Yes, sir.
All right, then...
What are you doing?
What are you doing?!
Oh, I'm just...
You think I'm different, don't you?
- No, I don't! - That's why you're touching me like that!
Oh, I'm sorry.
- So, what did you say? - Sir, you're not really that angry, are you?
That's...
That's not really a problem.
- You scared me! - No, no, no...
But...
But, you know...
- No, you know... - What is it?
- But, you know... - You're so sweet.
- Did you have a big back, sir? - No, I don't like it.
- Did you have a big back, sir? - Huh?
- Did you have a big back, sir? - Yes, I did.
- Did you have a big back, sir? - No, I didn't.
Sir, you still have a big back.
- I don't have a big back yet. - Sir, you still have a big back.
- Really? - Yes.
- How big is it? - Well, it's pretty big.
That's a good question.
So, you know...
It's not that big yet.
- I see... - Yes.
- You should tell your mother about it. - I see...
- Mother... - Yes?
- Let's think about it together. - Yes.
- Let's talk to your mother. - Yes.
- Are you looking for your mother? - Yes.
- Huh? - Mother?
- Mother! Mother! - Mother?
- Here, here! - Mother?
Huh?
Oh, yes, yes.
The lizard man.
- Oh, hello. - Nice to meet you.
What's wrong?
I'm sorry if I've made you uncomfortable.
No, no.
Can I buy you something?
Didn't you just buy a dog?
I know, but...
- Lizard? - Yes.
I'm all alone.
But you said you wanted a dog, so I bought you one.
What are you going to do?
I don't care.
Please.
Um...
Hey, mister...
You know...
You only need a water tank, right?
Come here!
I told you not to think like that!
It's not a aquarium or anything like that, so look at it as an old man!
No, but I was in trouble, so I couldn't find a place...
What, aquarium? If you have an aquarium, it's fine, right?
No, you know what?
You know what? When you tell your mother,
it's better not to convey that kind of pet-like nuance as much as possible!
No, you definitely don't know!
You know what?
Aquariums, or if there's soil, or how a tree looks like, or how a chain looks like...
You definitely don't know about that!
That's...
Okay!
No, no, no! Listen to me! Listen to me!
What is it?
If you say it like that, your mother will think you're trying to pet an animal!
So, that's...
Okay!
Say it properly!
Okay!
It's fine!
You know, she doesn't eat croquettes or anything like that!
She only eats insects!
You know what? You know what?
What is it?
You know what? You know what? You're saying it on purpose!
What is it?
Hey, don't say it in a bad way!
What are you saying? I want to buy it!
You know what? You know what? Say it properly!
Huh?
It doesn't matter if she eats insects or not!
Oh...
Right?
But...
I'm worried about what she eats.
What does she eat?
What does she eat? Don't say it now, okay?
Is it okay now?
Don't say it now, okay?
Okay...
Your mother is a little...
She's a little scared, isn't she?
You know she's scared, don't you?
Hey, mister, say something!
You can say it yourself!
Hey...
Huh?
Hey...
What are you doing?!
You hurt me!
You...
Hey, say something!
You know...
Oh, well...
Yes?
Well, you know...
A week ago...
About a week ago...
Maza was playing catch... What?
Baseball.
He was playing baseball.
And he was protecting the outfield.
The right.
He was protecting the right.
And then...
The ball slipped.
And I came to him.
And then...
A man came and...
So...
He got me the ball.
The ball.
And then...
Since I was still young...
So...
Tocage's dance.
Well, you know...
Are you Otaku?
Yes, yes, yes.
Otaku.
I was in Tocage's...
And I did it.
It's a good thing.
I think so, too.
It's fun.
That's how you got along?
That's right.
Masa asked me to come over.
Masa Ujiro?
He kept asking me what I was going to do.
You're always with me, aren't you?
- Did you say that? - Yes.
But I want to go home.
That's what he said.
But I didn't want to go home at all.
- I thought it was a big deal. - Yes.
- I have my own place to go. - Yes.
You said you were alone!
You're really annoying.
This is God's place, isn't it?
- I went to various places. - Yes.
- I knew that. - Yes.
- He kept asking me to follow him. - Yes.
- I was angry. - Yes.
- It's not that stupid. - Yes, it is.
- "What?" - "What?"
- Of course I was angry. - Yes.
What are you talking about?
Even if you like me so much,
what does your mother say?
Even if your mother says one word,
it's all over.
But I don't think so.
- That's what you think. - That's what I think.
Well...
To be honest, I don't think I'm in a good position to say this.
I'm not a broken human being. I'm not a human lizard.
So you're saying you can't do it.
But you said you could get along with your mother.
You said you were mine at night.
At night...
She's a little weird.
Weird?
She's weird, but...
She said it!
At night...
She said it!
That's you.
Can we get along?
That's enough for now.
Leave it to me.
I know how you approach things.
But you said you could get along!
I said I could be friendly with my friends.
I'm sorry, but I don't know what your mother thinks about it.
Well, I guess you could say that.
Can I buy it?
But you bought a dog, didn't you?
I won't do anything to you anymore!
Um...
You know, Mom...
Yes?
I'm sorry, but...
You know...
Yes?
I can't do that.
Um...
A dog...
A dog and me...
It's hard for me to get along.
No, that's not what I mean.
Um...
Dogs bark.
Yes.
Oh, you mean me?
Yes.
I don't like being touched.
Um...
Are you afraid of me?
What do you think?
No, I'm not afraid of you!
Right?
No, I'm not afraid of you. I've been walking around a lot of places, but I've never been barked at by a dog.
Oh, really?
On the contrary, I think dogs should be barked at more.
Oh, really?
I heard you stay still in the winter.
Stay still?
You don't move.
I don't move?
Yes, you can't move or you can't move.
I can't move.
You can't move, you know.
You don't have to say that.
Dogs don't bark like that.
Well, we live together, so...
But...
You'll grow up.
Oh, that's...
Are you crazy?
No, no, no.
That's not true.
What?
That's not true.
Are you crazy?
No, that's not true.
I'm not going to grow up.
Oh, that's...
That's not what I'm trying to say.
Is that what you're trying to say?
That's not what I'm trying to say.
Are you going to grow up?
Mentally.
Mentally?
As a man.
As a man, I'm not yet a complete man.
I think I can be more mature.
That's the case for everyone.
I'm sorry, but your mother is still growing up.
That's what I meant.
He's taking too much of what I'm saying.
I don't know if I can be a father again.
I'm sorry.
That's not what I meant.
But...
How is it?
Well...
How is it?
Yes, it's possible.
What do you mean by yes, it's possible?
Yes, it's possible.
So you should come and buy it.
And...
Let's buy it.
You're selfish.
No, I'm not selfish.
What did you think of buying it?
You poor thing.
But I'm only saying what I think because you're telling me what you think.
Oh, is that so?
Yes, it is.
But you don't really want it, do you?
Can I say it?
Yes, you can say it.
But you shouldn't say anything.
You know...
Yes.
From your heart.
Yes.
But I've always wanted to buy it.
Yes.
You're always so selfish, aren't you?
Yes.
But we don't have much time.
Mr. Sakaki is waiting for you.
Yes.
Hey!
What are you doing?
You know...
Yes.
I told you to buy it.
What do you mean by buying it?
I know you're saying that because I have a dog.
But you have a dog, right?
But you're a child.
Who is it?
Hey, mister.
What do you mean, mister?
You know...
Your mother's brother.
No.
What is it?
Your mother's brother.
You...
You bastard!
You're going to die!
You're not my friend.
What do you mean?
You're not my boyfriend.
You're my friend!
What's with you?
You're my friend!
I'm so disappointed in you.
What's disappointed in me?
You know, you know, you know...
You should be my friend!
I know you want to be my friend, but...
You're too hard on me.
What?
You want me to be your friend?
You're too hard on me.
Hey!
You're too hard on me.
Who are you?
Who am I?
Yes!
Who are you?
Well, we're not that close, but...
No, no, no.
You're talking nonsense with a child.
What's wrong with you?
At night, it's my mother's friends.
What? Who?
Stop it.
You shut up.
I said shut up!
It hurts! It hurts! It hurts!
It hurts!
What do you want?
You're talking nonsense with a child.
It's not nonsense.
What?
No, it's fine.
I'm asking you. Do you come to my house?
No, I mean...
What are you?
No, I'm...
I'm just like you.
No, no, no.
I'm...
I live like you.
What about it?
No, it's fine.
What do you mean?
I don't know.
Why don't you tell me?
I don't know what you're talking about.
It's none of your business.
It's none of my business? Why don't you care?
It's none of your business.
If you say it like that...
Tell me clearly. Don't make me angry.
What do you want me to say?
Stop it.
Uncle, are you okay?
Stop it.
You!
Stop it.
What is it?
Stop it.
It's too complicated.
It's too complicated?
But you come to my house.
Why do you come?
Right, uncle?
Yes.
My thorn broke.
You did it wrong.
Stop it.
Why?
I don't know.
Let's go eat something good.
Really?
Yes.
See you tomorrow.
What are you doing?
Wait a minute, sir!
Are you all right?
No.
I'm sorry.
My house is a little short.
No, it's all right.
There is a part where it is cut off.
No, it's all right.
No, it's not like that.
Is the watch all right?
I didn't say it like that.
The watch is all right.
No, it's all right.
I don't usually look at watches.
No, it's all right.
No, no, really.
Please stop it.
Tomorrow...
No, it's all right.
It's been a while since I've done this.
I'm sorry.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
(laughter)
I'll use a magical medicine to seduce a girl
I'll make sure she gets what she wants
But it doesn't work, it doesn't work, it doesn't work for her
She called me "girlfriend god"
Where was I, oh baby?
Oh sugar baby love
The first time I fell in love with you
It hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts
The first magical medicine to work
Miracle power love magic potion
Baby, what should I do?
"p" and "g" and...
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