AISubs v3.5
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Tonight's game is trouble golf.
The object is overcome the many, many difficulties of this monster golf course.
For the game of one-home golf, before it puts all in play,
the first team to hit that fidget tape ball in the cup wins!
Ahaha! Nice shot!
Gonna give it your best shot!
Your Tom Fedore!
[cheering]
- Tonight's team fighter is... - Yes.
- Uh... - Trouble golf, everybody!
- Yes! - Yes!
- Um... last time we played a course made of magic tape, right? - Yes, yes.
- From there it's been Ikega-alino, Bush-alino, right? - Yes.
- Bush! - Ahaha!
- You guys may know it because I made a video about it. - Ahaha!
- Hayashi! Hayashi! - Hayashi!
- Ikega-alino! - What? What?
- No, Ikega-alino! - Ah, Ikega-alino!
- Bush-alino! - Bush?!
- Well, there's a lot of things you can do. - Yes, yes.
- Just get over those obstacles. - Yes!
- Obstacles?! - Ahaha!
- Everyone's talking about it. - Where would you find a video like that?
- I don't know. - Ahaha!
- I don't need it either. - I don't need it either.
- For now, both teams shoot in order. - Yes.
- Hurry up and... - What?
- I'll be put in the cup here. - OK.
- Thank you.
- Now, starting with Matsumoto. - Yes.
- I'll go first. - Yes.
- Do your best. - Let's go!
- Ikega-alino! I'm counting on you! - Bush-alino!
- Ready! - Ahaha!
- Do your best! - Ahaha!
- No, no, it's not like that!
- OK, let's continue. - OK.
- Team Hamada, T-shirt. - Ah! Are you going once more? - Yes.
- Ahaha! - Who are you talking about? - Ahaha!
- You're late! - You're late!
- OK. - Kana-chan!
- Ahaha! - Yes!
- You won, you won! - I won!
- Second round, Team Hamada. - Team Hamada. - Yes.
- This is it. - The one in front.
- Yes, Team Hamada, second round!
Sasuke, who?
Go, go, go!
I'll go.
OK! Go, go!
Sasuke, go! Sasuke, go!
Go, go, go!
Go, go!
Go!
Hey, hey! Are you too stupid?!
Are you stupid?!
The goal is different!
Goal!
Ah, it's true that it's different, but that's where my brother's good at making people laugh.
Study, you!
Hurry up and show us!
Not like this!
Let's do it at once!
OK, let's go!
You!
All right!
OK, Team Hamada, third round!
OK!
Team Hamada, fourth round!
Fourth round!
This is a complete lead.
A complete lead.
Amazing!
- What? - Your armpit.
- My armpit? - Your armpit.
- What? - That's Obi's...
- What? - That's...
- Where is it? - Obi's armpit.
- Oh, I missed it! - Obi!
- I see!
- This is Obi, so it's someone else's.
- Yes.
- Let's do it again.
- Here, I'll give you a final comment.
- Hey!
- Hey, hey, hey!
- Obi! - Obi!
- Yes!
- I'm glad! - I'm glad!
- Bravo! - Bravo!
- Okay, the eighth!
- Counting on you.
- Will it fly away, after all?
- It might just fly away like this.
- It's really close!
- Oh no!
- Come on!
- Here we go! - Team is still... - Ninth! - Ninth!
- Team is still... - Still second! - Second! - Still second!
- Let's do it! - Still second!
- Yes! - Yes!
- Be gentle! Be gentle! - Yes!
- Go ahead! - Here I go!
- Don't be too strong! - Yes!
- Which one is it? - Is it my turn next?
- Here we go! - What's that?
- Team is still... - Still second!
- Team is still second!
- Team is still... - Team is still second!
- Team is still second!
- How do you say 'what's that' in Japanese?
- You can put it back and put it in your ears and put it back again. - Is it my turn?
- No, you're not. - Hi, nice to meet you.
Please.
Let me go!
The microphone is green.
Let me go!
Out of my way! Out of my way! Out of my way!
Come on!
Let's move first!
Where did he go?
Where...
This way?
Is it around here?
But if you go out...
If you go here, next time...
If you slice like this...
I see!
I see! I see!
Slice is opposite. Hook!
He's getting weird.
Oh, brother!
Of course!
Yes!
Always fox!
You chose it well!
The one you buy!
Is it a growth disease?
Slice!
Yes!
Slice! Slice!
Take it! Take it!
Slice is delicious!
Yes!
It's easy to eat.
Yes!
Raise it up!
Right?
Yes!
East!
Yes!
Hey you!
Don't go in!
It's expensive!
What do you think you're doing?
You're not supposed to be there!
I was going to do it like this,
but I opened both of my legs and went like this.
You're not like that.
You're too much like a cartoon character.
I opened both of my legs and went like this.
Masakari Tahou.
What's Masakari Tahou?
So you eat and then you dive.
You dive and when you come up, you grab the ball like this.
So you open both of your legs and go like this.
You're too much like a cartoon character.
Don't laugh at my team!
You're thinking about the same thing.
Here I go.
Here I go!
So close!
It's none of your business!
Say it! Say it!
Say it!
But I think this is the only way.
I think this is the only way.
What should I do?
Say it! Say it!
Next, 12th shot.
Good, good, good.
Good!
So close!
That's it! That's it!
That's it!
Why are there so many real-life stories like this?
It's strange.
I thought I could do it.
Your "you" was good.
Here I go!
Good one!
What should I do?
Jump and shoot at the same time.
Well, you can't help it.
Oh, but you can do it like this!
You can do it like this.
Can I?
Yes.
Exercise, exercise!
Obviously, I can't do it like this!
Let's go.
It's scary.
It's scary!
This program is brought to you by world-wide quality E&G, Japanese food, Nestle Japan, Kobayashi Pharmaceutical, Meiden Company.
I always do this at home.
Here we go!
I go down slowly and at that A-point...
I do like this.
Ah! I got it, Higashi!
It's from here! And I do it Tarzan-style like this!
You can see it from above, right?
Tarzan, don't cross it!
You can't cross it like that!
It's scary.
Wait, wait, wait!
And then...
While hitting the ground...
And then... PON! PON! PON! PON! PON! PAN!
PON! PON! PON! PON!
PON! PAN!
Did you get it?
Yes!
It's amazing that you got it with this!
Yes!
Here we go!
Oh, Keaton!
Mr. Keaton!
What are you doing, Keaton?
It's leaking!
In front of you! It's leaking!
It's leaking! It's leaking!
The popular Chaplin!
From here!
After all, I'll jump and shoot from here!
You said it! You said it!
Here we go!
Chaplin!
You're back!
Take it from around here.
Thank you!
You can hit from here.
If you hit from here, it works.
Why?
Is it better here?
If it's like that, it will work.
All right!
Who's next?
Take it!
Here! Here!
Here!
We're finally here!
Hey! Hey!
No, not like that.
You shouldn't go there like that.
What are you doing?
Hey, come back!
What are you doing?
You shouldn't go there like that.
You shouldn't go there like that!
Are you okay?
You shouldn't go there like that!
Are you okay, ma'am?
Ma'am!
Are you okay, ma'am?
Something hit me.
It's been only two hours.
Maybe it's over now, but...
Hamada Team...
Hamada...
Brand Newish!
Come on!
But people still win!
I'm sorry, but please call your family.
Sister! Sister! Help me!
Doctor!
Madam! Doctor!
Doctor! Doctor!
Doctor!
Can't you do something?
I've done everything I could.
Is that so?
Then at least...
Is there any way for you not to suffer?
I'm almost unconscious now.
Doctor! Doctor!
Do you hear me? Doctor!
It's me, Daminchi Hamada! Doctor!
Doctor!
My hands and nose!
Doctor!
I can't believe it!
You're wearing a mask!
I can't even reach you!
Doctor!
Teacher!
Where is Doctor Hamada?
Let's say goodbye to him.
Doctor!
If you leave now, what should I do?
Doctor!
I'm sorry, Doctor Hamada!
I can't even use my magical love magic!
What are you saying?
Good evening, Teacher.
Doctor!
How is he?
Tea! Tea!
He's supposed to be unconscious, but I can't believe it!
I'm sorry.
Is there such a place?
Teacher!
I've been tricked a little.
Teacher!
Teacher! I've been tricked a little.
I can't believe it! I can't believe it!
What the hell is going on? I can't believe it!
Teacher!
You still have this kind of strength?
Um...the bed...
Yes?
Can you pull this bed for me?
Bed?
That's impossible!
I'll try pulling it!
Stop it!
I don't care what happens!
Stop it!
I don't care what happens!
I did it!
It's a miracle! It's a miracle!
I'm floating in the air!
I'm a real magician!
Teacher!
You've grown a lot, haven't you?
Yeah, it's been about a month and a half since I came here.
That's right.
It's cold outside and dark inside, so it wasn't hard for me to come.
I know.
Good morning, boss.
Oh, good morning.
It's been a while.
Why? You haven't shown up lately, so you must have gone to another store.
Boss, what are you talking about?
There's no such thing.
Really?
Kano san!
Yeah?
What should we do for today?
Well, could you cut off some of the longer parts?
Okay.
Got it!
Thanks.
But boss...
Boss!
Yeah?
I'm glad you've grown up.
What's wrong?
What's wrong, boss?
Huh?
I'm glad you've grown up, young man.
What are you talking about?
What am I talking about?
I'm happy you've grown up into someone who can do things for you.
Where have you grown up?
Right, boss?
What's wrong with you? You're doing it right!
Huh?
No, boss...
What are you talking about, boss?
You haven't grown up at all!
No, you've grown up!
Not at all!
You know what?
You're not even worth being a criminal!
Come on, you've grown up!
No, you haven't!
Hama-chan!
What?
Seriously!
I know!
I thought you were the only one who could make a living out of it!
You don't have to laugh like that!
You're just a maggot, Hama-chan!
As you can see, you're a maggot!
No, no, Hama-chan!
That's enough!
It's true!
You're just a brat, Hama-chan!
I know!
I won't forgive you!
How many years has it been?
Four years.
Four years, huh?
You've gotten better!
Thanks, man!
Hey, hey, hey!
Isn't it too short?
Huh?
No...
It's about this long, right?
No way!
It's fine, boss!
It's about a centimeter, right?
It's fine, right?
Isn't this way of cutting bad for you?
Hey!
It's fine!
Yes!
It's really fine!
But is it too short?
No, it's fine!
I'll do it again!
Please!
Huh?
Boss?
Boss, what are you doing?
Hey!
Boss!
Hey!
What are you holding?
What are you doing?!
Kou-chan!
Wake up!
Your hair is too tight!
Kou-chan!
I'm sorry!
Are you okay?
Wake up!
I'm sorry!
It's important!
I'm sorry, Hama-chan!
It's okay!
I'm sorry!
It's important!
You're too strict!
It's okay!
I have to go all out!
Your hair is too tight!
Wake up!
I'm sorry!
Kou-chan, are you okay?
I'm fine!
I'm sorry!
It's as usual, right?
Can you make it a little shorter?
Hey!
Make it shorter!
I just said it!
I don't want it now!
I'll make it a little shorter!
What are you doing, sir?
Sir!
Sir, what are you doing?!
- You are drunk, aren't you?! - I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
- I'm sorry! - I'm sorry, ma'am! I'm sorry, ma'am!
You'd better go to the doctor!
- You'd better go! - You must go and make her angry!
- I will! - You can go! Go!
If you feel sick, you can go!
You should go to the doctor!
- You really should go! - I definitely won't!
- Are you OK?! - I'm fine! I'm fine!
- It's important, really important! - Are you sure you want it?
- Take it! - Take it!
- It's full of stuff! - It's important, really!
- Are you okay? - Huh?
- Take it! - It's important, really! - Sorry, I called you. - Hey!
- Why are you wiping here?! - I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
- Why are you wiping here?! - It's okay! It's okay, sir!
- Hey! It's okay! - I'm sorry! I'm sorry! - It's okay!
- Hey! It's okay! - It's okay! It's okay!
- Sir! - Hey, Ko-chan!
- Ko-chan!
- Are you okay?! - Take it!
- Ko-chan, it's too much! - Take it!
- Ko-chan, it's too much! - Hey!
- Ko-chan, it's too much!
- Hey!
- I'm done with you! - Hey!
I'm really going home today!
- You're going to clean up the shop afterwards! - Take it off me!
- Ko-chan!
- What's that?! - Ko-chan, what are you holding?! Stop!
- Stop it! - Shut up and do it!
- Yeah! - I'll kill you!
- Yeah! - You have good guts!
If you have guts like that, you can do it here!
- I'll do it there! - Stop it!
- I'm sorry, Hama-chan! - No problem!
- My heart is here! - Stop it!
But don't take it off!
If you do, I'll do it for you!
I'm sorry, Hama-chan!
I love you, sir!
Sir!
Sir, I love you!
I love you!
Sir, I love you!
I love you!
Sir!
Sir, I love you!
No, I'm going home!
Don't make a fool of me!
Bread is bread, but I can't eat it!
Search for it!
Bread is bread, but I can't eat it!
I am Sentan Kyousho.
Emergency plan! Is there any entertainer's guts in Higashi-no-ni?
Good evening.
Good evening, everyone.
So, this is today's plan.
Yes, it is.
To put it simply, it's a prank.
Oh, it's just a prank?
Yes. Recently, Higashi-no-kouji-san has been showing off his entertainer's guts.
Will you do it again?
I will do it again.
So, I would like to introduce this person.
Yes.
Higashi-no-fujin, Reiko-san.
Good evening.
My back hurts a little today.
Is it too much for you?
No, it's not.
Are you okay?
Yes, I'm fine.
Well, we have met a few times.
Yes, we have met a few times.
Nice to meet you.
It hurts a little, though.
Well, it was a program I was doing in the evening.
What was it you were doing in the evening?
Oh, what was it?
What was it?
I really can't remember.
What?
"Uraringo".
Oh, yes, yes.
When I was on "Uraringo", I was doing a twit.
Yes, yes, yes.
I've seen it before.
Well, it hurts a little, too.
Well, you came today, too.
I went to your house the other day.
Yes.
Higashi-no-kouji-san was playing golf alone.
Yes.
I asked him where his wife had gone, and he said it was a smurf concert.
Well, that's fine, isn't it?
Oh, well, well, I think it's fine.
What are you going to do today, even if your wife comes?
Well, today...
Yes.
First of all, please watch this video.
Yes, I understand.
I think it's fine.
Yes, let's watch it.
Yes.
It's easy to understand, isn't it?
It's edited and there's no mosaics.
Normally, there are mosaics in the room, but I think you're looking at a raw picture now.
Well, it's pretty familiar, but...
Well, but you don't see it in such a bright place.
It's usually dim.
That's bad.
I see.
Yes.
By the way, this is the bloody turtle from the anime.
Yes, it is.
Yes, yes. This is what I did last week. Yes, yes.
I like it very much.
You are trying to push it, aren't you? Yes, I am.
I will ride this and push the character called bloody turtle.
Are you trying to make a corner? For some reason, I'm doing it.
I think it's okay. If you do it, you can do it.
But in front of your family, can you do it?
I see. Family is family. Is it your wife?
In front of my wife, I will attack her.
I will grab her face and bring it to her hip.
Can you do it?
If you can do it, you can be a comedian.
I will pull out Utako Keisuke.
This will be the strongest corner, won't it?
Between Toshie Reiji and Utako Keisuke.
I don't know the order.
It's a great position.
I see. If you do it, you can be a comedian.
If you do it, you can be a comedian.
That's right.
If you can do it, you can be a comedian.
Today, my producer calls me "kosuda".
"kosuda".
I promised "kosuda" what kind of comedy I would do.
"kosuda" is your producer.
Please come in.
Please have a seat.
You always have a shoe color under your shoes.
You are the worst.
You always have a shoe color under your shoes.
You have a shoe color under your shoes today, too.
You are very greasy.
You are a new producer.
By the way, what kind of comedy do you do?
What kind of comedy do you do?
Does your wife know about it?
If you can do it, you can give your wife more money.
I'll talk about it later.
I don't need your money.
I don't need it.
I promise you.
If your wife sees it, you can't do it anymore.
If you can't do it anymore, you're disqualified as an entertainer.
But you don't invite your wife.
You don't invite your wife.
You only have your wife.
You don't have your wife.
- Is this all fine with you? - Wife, I'll do the camera work now.
- Please look here. - OK.
- Please look at Yu and me. - Yes, yes...
- Don't look back. - It's a little painful.
- It's a little painful, isn't it? - Yes.
- Now I'll show you how I get in and out of there. - Yes, I understand.
- Oh, but just in case... - Oh, please pose, wife!
- Look at her! - Look at her!
- Even though she's old, she poses like this. - She doesn't take off her clothes when she's in a chameleon.
- She's a professional. How do you dress at home? - At home?
- What do you usually wear at home? - Pants and a T-shirt.
- Pants? - Normal underwear.
- Normal underwear? Oh, you wear pants and a T-shirt. - Yes.
- Do you talk much at home? - I don't have much presence.
- She's quiet. She doesn't talk much. - I don't talk much.
- Oh, really? - That's right.
- Are you a quiet person? You don't talk about unnecessary things? - That's right.
- I watch a lot of TV. - Do you watch a lot of TV?
- That's why you can't get used to it even in a drama set.
- That's true.
- Someone, help me! - Wait!
- Today, a rose bloomed on the veranda. The rose's beauty bloomed all of a sudden... - That's cool.
- ...and died. - This rose is still alive. - Oh, really?
- The rose is still alive. That's for sure. - Yes, of course.
- You shouldn't make the same mistake again and again. - Yes.
- Thank you. - Thank you.
- The rose's beauty bloomed all of a sudden... - Now, it's time for the show. - Yes.
- Thank you. - Thank you.
8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2...
Help me!
What? What? What? What?
No! If you come this far, no one will be able to save you!
Tie her up!
Help me!
What? What? What? What?
She's a little crazy.
This has nothing to do with you.
What are you going to do by doing this?
Someone, help me!
Wait!
It's a lie! Get out of here!
Today, a rose bloomed on a veranda.
And all of a sudden, that rose was covered in so much beauty.
That rose is... this.
Who's there?
The rose is alive, too.
That's what I thought at the time.
The same mistake...
No, you don't have to do it now.
Who's there?
Is it me?
Even if it's a rose petal, I'll say it.
Your love was beautiful.
Though the rose's life is short...
You can't say things like that anymore.
Go away!
Crying in pain...
I'm raising a rose...
Who called me?
It's fine...
It's fine, Kamen Rider!
Damn it!
It's shaking! It's shaking!
Are you okay?
If you fight me, I'll kick you!
Damn it!
Hey, do it!
The husband is naked in front of his wife.
Symbol Beam!
You're hiding, too.
Symbol Shower!
You idiot!
I'll wipe you off!
You're annoying!
If you do that, I'll use my pistol!
What pistol?
Turtle Press!
What's wrong?
Hey, look!
It's finally time.
Are you ready?
I'm finally going to meet my husband.
Come on, kiss me!
You can rest assured now.
Are you hurt? I'll be right there!
Go back to your wife!
(Laughter)
It's a racial attack!
Hey, Lee A-jin!
What kind of mask are you wearing?
Are you going to continue?
Daft!
(Laughter)
You're a bastard!
Did you go to another school or something?
(Laughter)
What?
Jeez!
Symbol attack! Symbol attack!
Symbol attack!
(Laughter)
Daft!
If you do that, I'll double your salary.
Double?
(Laughter)
Get out of here!
(Laughter)
Don't shoot like that!
By the way, did you know about this?
What's up with you, Shinobu?
Wow! It's a huge success!
(Laughter)
What's up with you?
(Laughter)
I've never been humiliated like this in a movie like this!
(Laughter)
I've never been humiliated like this!
No, you haven't been humiliated!
Now you know how much of a comedian you are!
As the script says, if you grabbed your wife's head and attacked her like this, you would have doubled your character!
How?
As the script says...
No one would laugh like that!
(Laughter)
Even if you attacked me like this...
(Laughter)
You promised me.
You promised me!
(Laughter)
I'm not trying to hide it at all!
(Laughter)
Well, that's fine in this case.
Well, Mr. Wazosu...
Yes, yes!
I don't think you had the guts to do it!
(Laughter)
I would have done it!
Damn it!
I would have done it!
No one can do that!
No, no, you can do it!
You should be able to do it!
(Laughter)
I'm sad!
(Laughter)
Actually, I'm sad!
(Laughter)
Emergency plan.
An eastern man...
He didn't have the guts to do it!
Thank you very much!
(Applause)
Damn it!
(Laughter)
Your voice and your face!
(Laughter)
(Music)
The company's Giant Babaniuma's estimated time of death is 8 p.m.
Myth is addictive.
Wow, that's huge!
Yeah!
(Laughter)
Well, if I were to be called a baba or a horse, I would have to be a wrestler.
(Laughter)
That's a serious problem.
Even if my sister invited me to Trump, she wouldn't think of me as a baba.
She would have thought of me as a wrestler.
Yeah, yeah.
She wouldn't even think of committing suicide.
Yeah.
I don't think she would have.
Huh?
What do you mean?
I asked Professor Cho.
Yeah.
He said I ride the horse the most when I'm being ridden.
He's quite positive about it.
Yeah.
And no matter what I eat, it's delicious!
Baba Horse, how are you?
But...
But what?
No...
It seems the knight and the horse didn't go well together.
One day, he tried to swing it.
This is the real "skirt-swinger".
Both of them did it wrong.
They were swinging it.
(Laughter)
Who's Inoki?
Well, it's me.
You're Inoki?
Inoki is said to have bragged about being Ketsu Ketan-nen,
with his giant Bavarian horse's chin cut off, 16 letters of Ketsan-nen,
and Ketsu Ketan-nen with his photo identification.
(Laughter)
Is that how the murder took place?
That's all for the clues.
(Laughter)
I'll say it, but it's all a lie.
(Laughter)
Inogi, give me your autograph.
I will.
(Laughter)
That's great.
(Laughter)
It's true that we can't ignore Inoki's line.
That's right.
Yes, well, the company asked a lot of people how many horsepower Inoki was.
Oh, I answered that question.
Yes.
I said you were only 1 horsepower.
(Laughter)
Is that a lie, too?
It's a lie.
(Laughter)
And it seems that he was also in trouble with money.
This month, it seems that he was crying "hihihi" with a shortness of breath.
Does "hihihi" make you cry?
No, it's "appakappa".
(Laughter)
Wait a minute, where is that information coming from?
No, it's just a snack for when you're out of breath.
It seems that he was giving a quiz to a girl who was drunk and said, "Which horse's bone is this?"
(Laughter)
And he said, "You're not funny, are you?"
(Laughter)
Next time, I'll be funny.
Shake it properly.
You were funnier back then.
(Laughter)
I see.
So I committed murder.
Did you kill him?
Yes.
It's a lie, isn't it?
Yes.
(Laughter)
It seems that he had a bad drinking habit.
When he drank, he said, "My butt is a big hole."
And he used color eyes.
(Laughter)
I see.
You like men.
No, no, no.
It seems that he had a girlfriend.
What?
When he was in a good mood, he said, "My girlfriend is a jaja horse."
A horse is fine, but it's a fire horse.
(Laughter)
A pretty horse from an old man riding a white horse.
(Laughter)
It's a horse-horse.
(Laughter)
Well, whatever it is, please collect real information as soon as possible.
Yes, sir!
(Laughter)
No, but I don't know, detective!
No, I don't know.
I don't know why my mother puts sweet beans in a lunch box side dish.
(Laughter)
I don't know either.
(Music and singing)
Now we can do it in front of people.
Let's do a live show.
Let's do it in front of many people.
Let's do a live show.
How many people are there?
That many?
When is it?
I won't say it!
You haven't seen it yet, have you?
You're making your debut in O' Japan, aren't you?
Debut! I'll do my best!
Dismissed!
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