AISubs v3.5
I'm going!
Forget it and talk to me!
Good evening, everyone!
There's something I've been wondering about lately!
And that's Ryogo Shinohara's attitude!
I don't think it's because of the two of you on this show,
but on other shows, especially on Japanese TV...
What's it called? "TV Mammoth"?
"Doja Mammoth"!
Oh, "Doja Mammoth"!
His attitude at the time was like a tengu.
What?!
Not a tengu?!
I like Shinohara from before better!
He's become a tengu because his songs have become popular!
That's right!
Please ask Ryogo Shinohara!
Lately, you've had a big attitude and big nipples!
What?!
Say it!
My nipples are big?!
Thanks to you, we sold 1.5 million copies!
No way!
You're not popular at all!
We're still popular!
Good evening! I'm Judge Kouya!
Now, let's go to the contest section again tonight!
Let me introduce you to Ohagaki!
Today, we received a pen name "Byonkichi-san" from Tokyo!
I heard that there are many people in the entertainment world who are very strong and have guts,
but which one do you have in mind, that manly Matoba Kouji-san and the equally manly Wada Akiko- san?
Please tell me!
Both of you have a lot of spirit in you, don't you?!
Now, let's test your spirit!
Both of you, here you go!
You guys, his method of creation is simple!
What did you do with that guy?
That guy?
No, you look like him!
I'm Mato Basu!
Hey! Mato Basu speaks properly!
Now, let's test your spirit!
Here is the title!
Sundome! Giri Giri Eyebrows!
It's a little scary to stand here, isn't it?
Yes, it is.
It's a little scary to stand here, isn't it?
Yes, it is.
Today, we will have you and Sundome compete against each other.
Do you understand, Sundome?
Yes.
How close you will get to Mona!
I see.
This is a work that requires a lot of guts!
Yes.
Either way, it's a scary third round!
Yes!
Then let's start with the first round!
Start!
You can ride on the open car and also get on the guardrail in front of you!
But of course you can't get in!
You can't get in?
You can't get in!
We'll stop you once!
This is the end of the game!
But what we want you to be careful of is...
You have to get out of the car first or later!
And you have to do it at least three times!
I see...
Now, it's rock-paper-scissors!
Oh, it's rock-paper-scissors?
Of course!
First, the first one!
Without conditions!
But isn't it better to go first?
Isn't it better to go first?
Yes!
If you go first, you can't win!
Then I'll go first!
No, you can't!
Then you go first!
But...
No, you can't!
But I'm better at it!
It's better to win a little more than that, right?
That's right!
But...
What if you go first and win a lot?
No, it's okay!
Really?
Yes, it's okay!
Yes!
Now, are you ready?
Yes!
Let's start with you, Wataba!
Start!
Okay!
Stop!
Damn it!
That was...
I ran with all my strength, but it looked like I was about to crash!
That's you!
But, Wataba!
Yes?
You're only one meter away!
Almost...
I saved you by showing you!
There are parts of the car that pop out a little!
Now, are you ready?
Yes!
Start!
Did you listen to the rules?
The one who goes first...
has to take it off.
Yes, you have to take it off.
If you don't take it off, you lose.
For now, you can't do it for the first time.
No.
You only have two chances.
Wait a minute!
What is it?
If you take it off for a second, I'll fall!
Do I have to take it off?!
What are you talking about?! He's not evil!
He doesn't have the strength to support me like that!
But...
Go for it! Go for it!
Take it off! Take it off!
No, not "go for it!"
I wanted to come up and talk!
All right!
Let's try it for the second time!
Too bad, too bad!
You're in the second round!
I'm sorry!
As a comedian, this may be too much, but...
That's no good!
No, it's not!
For now, the first round goes to...
Matsuma-san!
Second round!
The rules are the same for both rounds!
Only the machines have changed!
The scary standing machines!
Yes!
They're quite slanted...
You two, stand like this...
Put your faces together like this...
Put your chin up like this...
Then, on the other side of the guardrail...
You'll see two Newhounds...
Who want to attack you!
Will you be able to stop them?
Can I say it now?
Say it!
Will you agree with me?
What's wrong with you?
The rules are different...
They're the same!
Both of you...
Both of you are Newhounds!
Both of you are Newhounds who want to attack you!
Because the rules are the same!
For now, in the end...
The one whose lips are taken is the loser!
Since you lost, next...
Akko-san will go first!
I'll go first!
Since you lost in the first round!
Now, are you ready?
Let's go!
Can you stop them?
It's fine, isn't it?
Now, let's go!
Well then...
Ready...
Well, well, well...
First, Aornenmon.
Are you ready?
Well, then, next is Matoba-san.
For now, you have to beat this record.
That's right.
Well, then, let's go!
Ready...
Start!
He beat it!
Safe!
Clear!
OK!
Well, Go-san!
Let's go!
Oh, oh, oh...
You beat it, didn't you?
Hey, you!
Do you want to kiss like that?
It looks like you're being sucked in.
Don't use any strange force.
I'll do it.
Well, then, Matoba-san!
Start!
OK!
Well, Go-san!
Wow!
It's really, really close!
Damn it!
Matoba-san!
Yes!
You beat it!
Oh, but if I had killed it, it wouldn't have moved.
What are you trying to do?
What are you comparing it with?
Like this?
No!
Do your best!
Like this?
I definitely don't like it!
I didn't think you were such a manly person.
But...
Well, Go-san!
Start!
Wow!
Only...
Only one meter left!
One meter left!
Let's do it again and again!
Start!
Don't take it anymore!
One meter left!
Let's do it!
One meter left!
When I see you up close, you look like an old man!
I look like an old man?
Gunson is very happy!
Really?
Let's do it!
Ready?
OK?
OK!
I can't do it anymore.
You've made up your mind.
Thirty centimeters...
Gunson has closed his eyes!
Accepted!
OK!
I'm glad!
OK!
Start!
Really?!
Cleared!
Really?!
You've got a big ass!
Because you're an old man!
OK!
Let's do it!
Mr. Hattoba!
I want to kiss you!
Really?!
Ready?
I can't stand it anymore!
I'll do my best!
Look at me. I'm cute.
You'll get used to it.
Yes, yes, yes.
I'll do it!
Start!
You saw it!
I saw it!
Bruce was grabbing it, but Matthew pulled it back!
No, I saw it! It didn't reach! It was so close!
Is it true!?
Judge Goff is a famous judge!
No, no! It was so close! It was really close!
Really!?
Now, now, both of you! Now, let's talk!
Please talk! Let's go!
Who's there!?
But... but...
Your lips are soft.
On the contrary, you will stop those approaching you from below.
I see.
Those approaching you are here!
Big feet!
This will come up from above.
At that time, of course, you two have seen and stopped the first and second rounds so far,
but you don't see the third round!
You only see the front and stop somewhere around here.
I don't know what you're talking about at all.
You don't see the back and stop somewhere around here.
Can't I see it?
You can't see it!
Well, there are a lot of advantages and disadvantages.
The one who wins this is the winner.
Let's decide by rock-paper-scissors!
By rock-paper-scissors!
Yes!
Rock-paper-scissors!
Mr. Matsumoto, you won rock-paper-scissors!
Yes!
Mr. Abako, let's decide by rock-paper-scissors!
I'll let you decide.
What's that? Why did you decide by rock-paper- scissors?
Are you looking down on me?
But you know, we want to see the atmosphere.
And we also want to know how fast those legs are.
Can we see it when we fight?
Yes, of course.
I see.
Let's start with Mr. Matsumoto!
Yes!
Are you ready?
Let's start with Mr. Matsumoto!
Alright! Here we go!
First round!
These guys' "kyaa" will be a guide, won't it?
Well, you can use it as a hint to some extent.
But "kyaa" is scary, you know!
I think "kyaa" is enough for this area.
This area is "kyaa", isn't it?
I think "kyaa" is enough for this area.
One, two... well, even if there are 200 of them, it's enough for this area.
One.
One, right?
One, two... well, even if there are 200 of them, it's enough for this area.
Well, let's go, Mr. Matoba!
I'll do it for the second time!
I pushed it!
One...
I don't want it!
I'm going to win this game!
In the blue corner, the challenger, 7th in the world's bantam class, Pioniere Nori Borrelieran!
Eastern Polydeuce, Cezanne Moffet Choir Chorus, National Anthem!
BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam
Bam!
It's not over yet!
(Singing)
Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!
Ouch!
Hey!
(Singing)
Ouch! Ouch!
Ouch!
Gyocha!
Yokocho is in Paris' Champs-Élysées...
Fuji's white snow cafe...
But our Kyo-chan...
Yahoo!
Loves dancing and singing...
Again and again and again and again...
That's fast!
Yokocho is in Paris' Champs-Élysées...
Oh, it's Fuji TV!
Could there be a star here?
It's just Machan!
I'll go with you.
Are you all right?
Machan!
Be careful and don't do anything stupid.
Oh, yes. Can you give me your autograph?
Is that okay?
What do you want to be in the future?
Um, a scientist!
Believe in yourself. Your dream will come true.
Yes, sir!
See you later, kid.
It's much cooler than on TV.
I'm definitely Machan's favorite!
What's with you?! What's with you?!
Ama-chan!
It's Ama-chan!
What's with you?! Hurry up and turn the car around!
Kasu!
Ama-chan, here's a present.
What's with you?!
Cut it out!
Um, can you give me your autograph?
What's with you?!
Why do I have to give you my autograph when you're dressed like this?!
What?! Cut it out! Cut it out! Cut it out!
What's with you?! You're so rude!
What are you looking at?!
You little brat! I'm going to eat you up!
Cut it out! Cut it out! Cut it out!
Don't laugh like that, Hama-chan!
Well, see you later!
And with that, we'll say goodbye!
See you later!
What's with you guys?!
Go!
Hurry!
Can't you do it? You're already...
Come over here!
I said come over here!
You can come over here if you want!
Sit down!
You guys!
Yes, I'm sorry.
I told you I had a headache!
You'll get in trouble!
Why do you keep getting in trouble today?
No, it's just...
Are you listening to me?!
Yes, I'm listening!
Listen! Listen!
Listen! He's stupid! Stupid! He's stupid!
Listen!
Then why are you sitting down when you're angry?!
Why are you sitting down?!
I'm sorry.
Who's angry?!
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry!
You're saying you have a headache!
What are you going to do about your second performance?!
You're a genius, so I'm sure you'll do it!
Yes, yes.
I'll take you on, so you'd better do it!
Yes, yes.
What are you going to do about your second performance?!
What am I going to do?
Think about it!
I'm sorry.
Huh?!
You'd better listen to me!
Huh?!
No, you're serious!
Huh?!
Think about it!
Think about it! You're crazy!
Think about it!
Think about it! You're crazy!
Think about it!
Hey!
Don't say the same thing over and over again!
Look at me! Look at me!
Look at me!
Huh?!
Work harder!
Think about it!
I'm sorry.
Hey!
You're a genius, so I'm sure you'll do it!
Dad, I can't do it anymore.
Etematsu and Seikichi are the only ones I can think of other than you.
What am I supposed to do now?
Please, Dad!
What are you looking at when you're lecturing me?
Let's go eat.
Hey, what are you doing?
What did you do?
What are you looking at when you're mad at me?
What did you do?
What did you do?!
Hey, hey, hey, it's fine.
There's a picture of Dad on the parapet!
What's wrong with you?
Hey, hey, it's fine.
What's wrong with you?
Stop it!
You're a pain in the ass!
Hey, pick it up.
Pick it up!
Bring it here!
Hey you!
What's wrong with you?
Why don't you apologize?
Why don't you apologize?!
You...
People have bad and good things to do!
What you did is bad!
Do you understand?!
Well...well...well...
It's OK.
What?!
What did you do?!
Huh?!
What did you do?!
What are you looking at?!
What's going on?!
I'm sorry.
Huh?!
Can I do anything?!
No, it's nothing like that...
I...
I don't care what you do!
You're the only adult I've ever been angry with!
You're the only adult!
You're not worthy of it!
You're a German!
You're asking for his permission!
You're my father!
I don't care what you do!
Let me go!
I'm sorry!
There's fire in the cigarette.
What?
There's fire in the cigarette.
Huh? Who is this song?
I love you with all my heart!
With all my heart!
With all my heart, delicious rotten popcorn!
Salad vinegar!
With all my heart!
With his advertised sense of humor,
the man who surrounds Japan with laughter,
Takahiro Kurano, 31 years old.
The new leader of the comedy club, Takahiro Kurano,
is now standing in a talent shop in Harajuku,
and is about to challenge himself.
Now, shop preparation, shop preparation!
There will definitely be customers today!
I'll do my best!
Kurano says.
Will there really be customers at Kurano's shop?
In this way, preparations for the shop's reopening have been made.
Today's reopening - Takahiro Kurano's shop!
Good morning.
Yes, yes.
You know, Kurano-kun.
Yes!
Well, we also have a goods shop in Harajuku, don't we?
Well, well, well...
It's not our business, but...
Yes, only money comes in, but...
Yes, yes, yes...
Kurano-kun says.
Well, it's about time for me to open a talent shop, too.
Even if I'm drunk, I'm not a pervert, you know!
Oh, you mean it like that.
Yes, yes! And it seems like it's reopening today!
It's written there, "comedy club".
Takahiro Kurano's shop!
Yes.
It seems like it's reopening today!
Yes, yes, yes...
Oh! There he is!
Is that Takahiro Kurano's shop?!
You've gotten into it, haven't you?!
No, no, no...
Oh, Kurano-kun!
Oh, me, me, me...
You're wearing a talent shop outfit, aren't you?!
No, no, no...
Hey you! The shop's small!
Hahaha!
How many shops are there?!
Huh?!
It seems like it's only one.
Oh, only one?!
Yes.
The comedy club's new leader, Gon Gon-ko and Kurano Takahiro's shop!
You know, you know...
Usually, in a talent shop...
There are... what can I say...
There are those products!
- Your own character... - Yes, yes, that's it!
- There are! - Yes, yes...
What is this?!
- It was today's opening. - Oh, today's opening!
Yes! And you guys! I haven't got it yet!
- Oh, sorry, sir! I'll give it to you! - Give it to me!
- An old fan! - My favorite!
- Oh, 200 yen! - Yes!
- A Jinger doll... - I'll sell it for 900 yen.
- You can't get it now, can you? - But it's expensive!
- No, no, no, no... - Let's see what's inside!
But it's expensive!
- Oh, it stinks! - Hey, hey, wait a minute! Hey you!
- Don't sell people's goods! - What are you taking off?
- Isn't this ours? - What are you taking off? It's the same thing!
It's not the same thing!
- This is for self-defense. - Self-defense! This is...
- This is... - Oh!
- I thought you had some memory! - Yes, I do!
- I used to have this! - Yes!
- This is... - This is mine! I bought it!
- Yes, yes! - Then why do you have it?
- I sold it! - Yes, yes!
- I bought it! - It's cheap!
- How much is it? - About 2,000 to 3,000 yen.
- And you... - You came all the way here and sell it at home? - At home!
- You bought it for 2,000 to 3,000 yen and sell it at home? - No, it's premium.
- Oh! - It's the work of two talents!
- But... what's that tape? - What?
- It's me on the capella! - Singing?
- I'm singing "Kanpai"! - Can I ask you something?
- Well... - Should we listen to the B-side? It's karaoke!
- No, I want to hear you sing! - Oh, really?
- This is the karaoke version! - Let me hear you sing!
- Do it properly! - You even have an autograph.
- What's wrong with you? - You're making me sick.
- I'm holding my breath when I'm talking to you!
- What's wrong with you two?
- I can't stand it!
- What's wrong with you two? You're bullying me!
- You're bullying me!
- What's wrong with you two?
- By the way, is it expensive, Kurano? - Yes.
- Is it enough for a pleasant customer? - Yes, yes.
- That's what I think, too. - What are you doing?
Kurano and Takahiro's shop, which was blessed by the downtown area, finally opens at 11 am.
Will customers come? Suddenly, two old ladies came.
One by one, more and more customers came, and five customers came at the same time as the store opened.
- It's a little popular, isn't it? - Sign it, please.
- Get out of my way! - Get out of my way!
- Sign it, please.
- Another customer came. - It's rare.
- I can't reach it. - You can't reach it? - I already ate it.
- Then, another customer came. - This movie is different.
- Cut it out! - This movie is not popular at all.
- More and more customers came! - Wow!
- Sign it, please. - Sign it, please.
- It's the worst. - Definitely not.
Three hours have passed since the store opened. The number of customers has decreased and increased.
However, it is a little worrisome that there are only old ladies in the audience, but Kurano himself is very happy with the unexpected development and such service.
- Sign it, please. - Sign it, please.
- You advertised it a lot. - Yes, I did.
Hello, is this Chojuhan? Can I make a phone call?
Well, where am I? Wait a minute.
Kanpachi Street, Sakuragaoka 5-chome.
Is there a sidewalk? Below it is a restaurant called "Kurano".
Is it duck, duck pot and udon? Yes, I'd like one of these, please.
It's hot! It's good!
Excuse me, what time is it now? It's about six o'clock.
I'd like a duck. Can you call the restaurant?
Kurano's restaurant? Yes, yes.
Yes, I understand.
Can you touch me? Can you not answer?
Yes, hello? You're a dirty comedian!
What are you doing?
Well, well, well.
You're really dirty.
Hello? Can you call again?
You're a bad guy.
You can't sell it.
You can't sell it!
Hello?
Don't make me angry!
What's wrong with you dirty entertainer?
Don't make me laugh! Where did you take that feeling?
Wait a minute. Hello? Hello?
Is this the store in Kukua?
Hello? Hello? This is the store in Kukua.
Oh, this is the main store?
Yes, this is the main store.
Where is the store?
What do you think?
Huh?
What do you think of the sales?
The sales are good.
What?
It's close to 17,800 yen.
17,800 yen?
It's true!
Is it really true?
Yes, it's really 17,800 yen.
But, you know...
Is it true?
I took a peek and saw it.
Yes.
Is it true?
What are you talking about?
You should open a store in Harajuku.
No, you should open a store in...
You don't have to do it.
What do you want me to do?
Even if you open a store in Gotz, you won't make that much money.
Hey, you know...
Yes?
You're great.
You make me laugh.
What do you think of the customers?
The customers...
Well...
Some of them are older than me.
Some of them are college students.
And I was surprised.
Someone from Duskin came.
Duskin came?
Yes.
He's running a store in this area.
Oh, he's running a store.
So...
He asked me to leave my guitar mat here.
When will you come back?
Huh?
Won't you come back?
Oh, no.
Isn't it too extreme?
Now you're fussing.
Wow, you're fussing!
I'm sorry, I don't know what you're doing!
You're turning your guitar on your ally!
You can do it!
I don't know what you're doing!
Like this?
Yes!
What?
So...
In the planning stage, we were planning to make fun of you guys for not coming at all.
It came all of a sudden.
This gave us too much space.
That's too much.
I'll say it again.
That's too much.
I think it's pretty bad there.
Let's think about the second stage.
It's illegal to sell downtown dolls.
That's right.
It's all at the entrance of Kurano.
That's right.
Let's think about the second stage.
The second stage.
Under the bridge.
Do you know I'm matching?
I think it's pretty bad there.
[Music]
Here you are.
Oh, thank you. How much is it in English?
It's 23 million yen.
23 million yen! It's cheap!
It's a set.
Oh, it's a set.
Thank you.
Hey, boss!
Who's there?
Hey, rice ball!
Is the boss here?
Yes.
Are you working?
What are you doing?
Hey!
Yes.
Watch out!
Tie up his clothes!
Close your eyes!
Spread your legs!
Damn it! I won't lose!
Big brother! Big brother! Big brother! Big brother! Big brother! Big brother!
What's wrong with you?
Get out of here!
Get out of here, damn it!
You're really persistent, aren't you?
What are you talking about?
Persistent!
What?
Again and again!
What?
As I've said many times, the angle is different!
But you know that many times!
There's not much of a difference!
I know!
You're persistent!
For example, I'll be the latest car navigation system that will tell you the way of the car!
Car navigation system!
Someone like you is...
...my mother who says you're too much like a woman!
Mother!
If I were Prosecutor Ninuma...
Prosecutor Ninuma!
Someone like you is...
Yes!
...the right eye of Prosecutor Ninuma!
If I were...
...a parent!
If you were a parent!
Someone like you is...
Yes!
...even more of a parent!
Even more of a parent!
You know, don't you?
I know, but...
You don't know?
You know, don't you?
Even if you don't say it!
No, no...
You don't know?
No, I don't know!
Write it down!
You know, don't you?
I know, I know!
Yes!
Three million!
Yes, one!
Yes, two!
Yes, three!
Yes, three million!
Yes!
I've said a lot of things...
Yes...
I'm sorry...
No, no...
I've said a lot of things...
Yes...
But I've always said...
Yes!
And when you go home, don't say anything!
Don't say anything!
Yes, yes...
That's all I've said!
I see...
Yes!
Don't say anything!
Yes...
Yes!
Go home safe!
Yes, yes...
I'm sorry!
No, no...
Let's go!
Yes!
Thank you!
Goodbye!
We're finally back.
Yes, it's over.
That's good.
Yes, it's good.
Oh, I'm hungry.
President, shall we eat something?
Yes, let's eat something.
You know, in front of the station, there's Taisho's ramen.
I heard it's pretty good.
Don't say that.
It's pretty good. Have you eaten it before?
No, I haven't.
That's not good.
Oh, you haven't?
I don't know why everyone is so good at making dashi.
I heard it's good.
Yes, yes, yes!
I know you're saying something, but...
I don't like doing business like this!
Take this!
Who said you could do business like this?!
What?!
What are you talking about?!
Gross!
You bastard!
Shut up!
What are you going to do today?!
I'm going to hang all kinds of clothes all over you and make you look like a hanger!
You're definitely not going to live here!
Well, I don't know what you're going to do about it.
What are you going to do about it?!
I don't know!
I see.
It's kind of funny to say it like that.
Of course it is.
But there's only one thing I'm going to say, even if you don't give me a chance.
No way!
Who's the victim?!
You know...
The stubborn killer of young boys!
I've prepared sushi for you today.
But there's only one wasabi in that sushi!
Who's the victim?!
Is it you?!
Spit it out!
Yes, sir!
Why can't you say it louder?
What's wrong with you?
It's a rice ball.
This...
Is this what's in it?!
This is me.
You've got something in there, too!
Don't say nasty things like that!
Ugh!
You're funny.
Boss.
Why am I doing this?!
You do it. What's wrong with you?
You're funny, bogeyman.
No!
You're funny, bogeyman.
You're not funny, bogey!
Bogey!
Is it true?!
It is!
You're in a bad mood today.
Who's the victim?!
It's me!
Your heart and...
What did you put in it?
There's no mistake, it's in me!
Tea! Tea! Wasabi hell!
Boss, it's me!
What?!
It's me!
It's me! It's me!
I can't forget you!
Are you okay?
You...
Like Vidal Sassoon...
You don't spread out and you don't dry up!
Flowers that bloom are beautiful only because they fall.
The scattered petals will only return to the earth.
If that's the case, why don't we put a potentiometer in the water?
Who's there?
Let's go!
That's it! That's it! That's it! That's it! That's it! That's it!
This program is brought by Maiden Company, Lotte, P&G and Nestle Japan.