AISubs v3.5
(explosion booms)
Good evening, I'm Judge Koyano!
Now, let's get right into the showdown!
Recently, sumo has been getting a lot of attention again, and I love sumo, so I'm happy about it!
So, which is more interesting?
Futago Yamabea's Ozeki Takanohana or Musashigabea's Ozeki Musashimarto?
Which of them will become yokozuna faster?
Please tell me!
Um, yokozuna...
This is a request from Akebono-san!
(laughter)
Of course!
I'm curious about which of them will come first!
Are you trying to make me laugh?
(laughter)
Well, well, well...
This is just the beginning.
This is just the beginning, right?
But!
When they come out, it'll be even more interesting!
So, let's have them appear right away!
Musashimarto and Takanohana-san!
(applause)
Nice to meet you!
Good evening!
Musashimarto-san!
Yes, yes, yes!
I hope you become yokozuna as soon as possible!
Yes!
(laughter)
Well, well...
It's hard for Musashimarto.
Takanohana-san!
Yes?
Well, well...
It's not easy for you to say you'll become yokozuna soon!
What do you think?!
That's right.
Oh!
I see!
(laughter)
What should I do?
(laughter)
You want to do it, don't you?!
Do you want to become yokozuna?!
(laughter)
Hey!
What's wrong with you?!
Jun, you know...
I'm sorry!
Let's not do the Famicom show for some reason.
(laughter)
Hey!
Your face was amazing back then!
Do it for me!
If you don't do it for the Famicom show, we won't do it for you!
What do you say?!
Let's do it!
Oshintosumo Tournament!
Let's do it!
Let's go!
You're too excited!
Are you ready, guys?
Yes!
Today...
We'll have you fight against various wrestlers in a tournament!
Don't make me laugh!
Then, if you'll excuse me...
If you'll excuse me, you two...
This is Musashimaru-san...
Yes!
And...
Takanohana-san will start from here...
I see!
You two will fight and if you win, you'll be able to fight in the finals!
I see!
So, don't lose on the way!
Yes!
Let's do our best and fight!
Yes!
Then, let's start with the first round!
Let's go!
Then, first round...
Nishii...
Musashimaru...
Hiroshi...
Kirinji...
Now...
I'm scared...
Somehow, I'm really scared...
Of course, this doesn't just defeat you...
Yes!
This table...
Actually...
As soon as the match started, it started shaking...
Yes!
So, you have to calculate your movements well...
I know!
In the past, I used to say "hack, ready"...
"Hack, ready"...
Now, "hack, ready"...
I'm sorry, I'm sorry...
Now...
Let's see...
It's okay!
"Hack, ready"...
Musashimaru!
What the hell are you doing, Ana?!
East!
That's why, Ana!
That's why!
Japan!
Harino!
I'll do it! I'll do it with my bare hands!
Really?
There is such a thing!
It's reckless! What are you doing?
Do you think so?
I'll remember it!
Try it! Try it!
Bakkyoi!
Nose!
We love you! We love you! We love you!
Here!
It's true love!
Here!
It's cold!
This is the third match.
The winner of this match will be fighting against the hawk that is peeking out of the bookshelf.
- The winner of this match? - Yes, the winner of this match.
Hey, you're studying for a hamster!
Study hard!
- It's a difficult book, you know? - I'm not talking!
It's a difficult book, you know?
- Well, then... - Get off, you two.
Get off, you two.
Well, then, let's go.
Look at me!
It's hot!
No, no, you went a little too fast.
- Which one was fast? - It's the temperature!
- Oh, it's the temperature! - It's the temperature!
You should be responsible for it!
- Advertisement manager who works in a bookshop! - That's enough!
You're not interested in it, are you?!
It's so hot!
Can you film my stupidity properly?!
I'll take off my book later.
I'm sure you'll take it off later.
Think about it!
Well, let's go!
Look at me!
It's hot!
No, no, you went a little too fast!
Here!
Take this!
Here!
Mujimuji Machine!
We would like to invite Mujimuji Machine, who received a lot of applause last time, to participate in this as well!
And of course, Tamayura!
Tamayura!
Besides, his footwork is famous for being light.
That's right.
For now, we'll have you two take it.
Yes!
Shake it! Don't shake it too much.
Shake it!
It's an old-fashioned pattern.
It's still an old-fashioned pattern.
Don't shake it either.
Don't shake it either!
You two are full of energy!
Yes!
Let's say it's old-fashioned!
Is that what I'm supposed to say?
It's embarrassing.
That's...
Look at me! Look at me!
Shake it!
Don't shake it!
Hey! Don't shake it! Don't shake it!
Metal Japan...
Nisshin Food...
Meidencha...
Roche...
Presented by P&G.
First match of the second round...
Musashimaru!
Kojira...
Shouzan!
It's not a good fight.
It's the heaviest weight among the contestants.
If you get injured, how will it be written in the newspaper?
Sumo and bad jokes.
You guys are fashion!
I'm scared!
Well...
Let's see!
OK!
Let's go!
Hey! Wait!
Wait! Wait!
Kojiru!
Shouzan!
Kojiru!
Shouzan!
I'm scared!
I'm an ice pick!
Takanohana! Takanohana!
On the other hand...
Dogs!
I knew it!
Do you bite?
You bite me and swing me around!
Oh, I see!
I know!
This used to happen in the past!
That's it! Look at me!
Goberman! Goberman!
Look at me! Yes, yes, yes!
What's wrong with you?
This is how it is!
That's it! That's it!
I'm watching you!
Look at me! Look at me!
I'm scared! I'm scared!
Goberman!
Mr. Yamamoto! Mr. Yamamoto!
Musashimaru!
Muchimuchimashiiin!
For now, stability is number one.
Muchimuchimashiiin!
You're a strong enemy!
I'm a strong enemy!
Are you ready?
Yes!
Then let's see!
Oh, I'm scared...
I'm... I'm still okay.
Then hold my hand!
Huh?
You...
You're... you're...
You're going to do it in one go!
Even if you do it with your left hand...
I'm sorry.
You're doing it with your right hand, aren't you?
I'm sorry.
I'm really scared...
Then let's see!
Akkyoi!
Mr. Yamamoto!
The word machine is too rampant and dangerous.
It's too old and fragile. I'll fix it.
The boss is...
Music! Mr. Yamamoto!
Mr. Yamamoto! Mr. Yamamoto!
Second match of the Men's Tricolord.
Takanohana vs. Honro!
What will you do?
Damn it!
Then...
I'll go to bed.
Oh!
Semifinal!
What are you two doing?
I'm going to bed.
Donga-donga-donga-donga!
Stay away from me!
Damn it!
Either way, I'll get hurt.
Well, then...
Hey!
Let's go!
What's with you?!
I'm... I'm too tired.
Now I remember what I was like in elementary school.
Calm down, please.
It's okay, it's okay.
Well, then, semi-final!
Ready...
Go!
The final match!
Musashimaru! Musashimaru!
Now, this way!
Flowers of soccer! Flowers of soccer!
What's that?
- Yes, yes. - Am I going to lose?!
- I'm going to beat you up! - Yes, yes, yes.
I understand.
I'm going to beat you up until you die!
You want me to do it?!
Do it already!
Yes, yes, yes!
I'm really going to do it! Seriously!
- What do you want me to do? - Seriously!
- What do you want me to do? - I'm really going to do it!
- I'm going to play with you! - Ah, okay, okay.
Bye-bye, okay? Bye-bye.
I want you to do it.
Okay?
Please listen carefully to what I'm about to say.
I will die!
Final match!
OK, OK, OK...
Here we go...
You were scared, weren't you?
I'm nervous.
It's funny, isn't it?
What's that?!
Shut up!
No, no, no!
OK, OK...
No more waiting!
Let's go!
OK!
OK, let's go! Final match!
Here we go!
No more waiting!
Wait a minute! Wait a minute!
I can't win against you!
What's wrong with you? You can't win against me!
I'm the king of Tekken!
You can't win against me!
That's right!
So, the winner is...
Takanoana and Musashimalu!
The king of Takanoana will become the king of Yokosuka first!
Congratulations!
Takanoana vs Musashimalu
Stand up!
Get down!
Start the game!
Move!
Attack!
What's wrong with you?
Stand up!
Move!
Stand up!
Attack!
Ouch! Hurt!
Sit!
Stand up!
Bow!
Ouch!
Stand up!
Bend! Bend! Bend!
Stand up!
Bend! Bend! Definitely bend!
Stand up!
Stand up! Stand up! Stand up! Stand up!
- Today, we did it again. - We did it.
But, you know, up to here is fine.
- Up to here is cool, isn't it? - Up to here is fine.
- But, beyond this... - Mr. Inoue...
Will we see more idiots this week?
But, everyone, you are doing well.
- That's good. - That's good, isn't it?
- Now, let's... - Yes.
Let's introduce the entertainers.
- Are there still entertainers? - There are.
- There are still entertainers. - Yes.
- Now, today's entertainers are... - Yes.
Conte.
Now, let's go. This week is Conte and Torio the Silver!
Come on!
Shinnosuke!
It's you, Shinnosuke!
How did you know?
It's written there.
Shinnosuke, why did you leave school?
I'm sorry for making you wait so long.
You really didn't do it?
Of course I didn't!
Look at my eyes!
You did it!
I want to beat you up!
No, you can't!
Grandpa!
Oh, Kambo!
Grandpa, you're the worst!
Kambo!
How old are you now?
Eight!
You're lying!
I'm sorry!
I'm actually 84 years old!
But...
You really are someone who makes the host pay attention.
Why is this oldest...
Yagi-san playing the role of a child?
That's right...
Yagi-san, Yagi-san...
Yagi-san, Yagi-san!
No, Yagi-san! Yagi-san, you stopped too early!
Yagi-san, you stopped early, but are you coming to pick me up?
I'm almost there...
You know, it's handmade, right?
This is good, right?
This is good!
It's worse than wearing something you're not good at!
It's because of you that I came all the way here!
What a character you have!
I hope you'll continue to do your best in Japan and in the future.
Please do your best! Thank you very much!
Thank you very much!
And with that, we say goodbye and see you next week!
I'm not going to bend over for one second.
Hey you!
You're a rich guy!
Hey you!
What are you wearing?
You...
What are you doing?
Renkai!
What are you wearing?
I don't have anything for you anymore!
Shut up!
Hey you, what are you doing?
Are you going to bend over?
I'm not going to bend over!
It's because you're in my room!
Sorry!
You...
You're in trouble!
What is it?
When are you going to pay me back?
Huh?!
Well, that's...
You...
Do you know Yoshikazu Sato?
Tell me!
Yoshikazu Sato...
He's the producer of Uji TV's second production.
I've seen him on TV occasionally.
Yes, I know him.
He's a great guy.
But Sato and everyone else don't like him.
He's made a hit band.
Oh, really?
"Oretachi Hyoukin" and "Hmm, Can I Laugh?"
Right?
If I could meet him in my dream, I'd do it.
He's amazing!
There's no end to him.
He's an amazing guy.
But...
He's bald.
More!
He's bald.
More!
He's bald.
More!
He's bald.
If you look at him from the side...
He's bald.
If you look at him from the back...
He's bald.
If you wear a hat...
He's just hiding it.
You know...
Yes, I know.
Can you give it back?
Well...
I've had it many times already.
Well, well...
I'll give it back...
to the world!
Huh?
No, I'll pay you back 3 million yen.
Yes, pay me back!
Yes!
Well, I borrowed 3 million yen...
Yes!
How much interest do you have?
Don't say things I don't know!
I'll pay you back 3 million yen!
Pay me back!
You won't pay me back 3 million yen?
What? 3 million yen and I'm dead?
Ready, set... 2 million yen!
What?!
2 million yen?!
Yeah!
No, no, I mean... I borrowed 3 million yen, right?
Yeah!
If you combine it with interest rates...
All of it!
If you combine it all, you won't get anything.
Right now.
Ready, set...
That's amazing!
If you don't tell me how much it is, you're telling me it's amazing!
How much is it?
How much? How much? You're asking me how much?
It's not how much!
It's real!
That's not what I mean!
Nobody's asking you that!
If you combine it all with interest rates...
How much is it in total?
Huh?
How much...
That's enough!
If you say that, I'll be in a bad mood!
I'll pay you back!
I've already paid you back!
I don't know why!
If you don't pay me back...
Huh?
I won't say goodbye!
I'll pay you back...
But...
You...
Finally...
Made me really angry...
What?!
If you say that...
My battery...
Went up...
What?!
What's wrong with you?!
Your battery went up?!
It didn't go up...
But...
That's how it is...
When I was young...
I was told...
That I would die in the morning...
Your life...
Will become a TV show...
Your life...
Will become a TV show...
Darling! Darling! Darling!
It's me! It's me!
Don't be so excited!
It's me! It's me! Darling! I love you the most!
The most!
The most! The most! Darling! Darling! Darling! Darling!
It's me! It's me!
What are you doing?
We're gonna make you do it! Let's go!
Farewell.
You're always so boisterous.
I'm so jealous of you.
It's fine.
I wonder what this is.
I don't know what it is.
Hey!
Yes?
Where is the straw?
What?
Straw.
Straw?
Is it in here?
I don't know!
You don't know?
I only drank this much!
It's double now!
Can't I drink it?
What is this?
It's no good!
I don't know!
What are you doing?
What is this straw?
Ah! Ah! Ah!
I don't know!
I don't know where it is!
Stop it!
Help me! Let go of me!
Yomi, let go of that bride!
Which one? This one?
This one!
Stop it!
Help me!
Isn't this costume enough for Johnny?
What are you talking about? It's the bride!
Shut up!
Well, if this bride can say "kinokii da" or "dajare"
I can talk to her, but...
Say it!
"sunoreba" and "tabereba"?
All right!
I can't do it anymore!
Help me!
I know!
Listen up!
If you press that button today,
a volcano will erupt all over the world!
This is as far as you can go!
If you die, you'll pay for it!
Stop it!
Let's go!
Robin!
Ron!
What are you doing?
I'm eating a snack, Mr. Barrier.
The world's first car accident series!
So that's the Eiffel Tower!
So that's the summit of Vanri!
So that's Gojyu's Tower!
So that's Pisa's Castle!
Get out of my way!
Meow, meow, meow, meow!
You're too slow, meow!
Meow!
I won't let you go!
Yes, this is Tsukimura. Yes.
Yes, understood. I'll ask about it right away. Yes.
Chief Tsukimura.
Yes, what is it?
A strange couple of old men are coming.
A couple of old men?
Yes. What was it?
Something like "downtown" or something like that?
Oh!
Hey! It's been a while!
It's been a while.
Hey, hey, hey!
We're neighbors.
It's been a while.
Have a seat.
Yes.
Chief, it's been a while.
It's been a while.
Yes.
Mr. Hamada.
Yes.
Mr. Matsumoto.
Yes.
You've changed quite a bit.
What?
No, we haven't changed at all.
What do you mean?
That's right.
You're still the one who's changed.
Do you want me to do it?
Well, you know...
Yes.
We've been doing it for a while, but we're still thinking of doing it.
Yes.
But we've been stopping our work until now...
Yes.
But we've been stopping our work until now...
What have you stopped?
The work that you and Yoshimoto have stopped for us...
Yes.
We've stopped it.
If you put it in the game.
Yes. Did someone stop it?
No, no, no.
Who was stopping it?
Oh, really?
Yes.
No, I didn't know about it at all.
I'm sorry.
You thought it was funny, didn't you?
Yes.
No, I know.
Oh, really?
Tell me about it.
I understand.
Let's go.
What job should we start with?
Well, I heard that he's also a boss.
Yes, I am.
How many years ago?
Yes.
How many years ago did you join us?
Twenty years ago.
Twenty years ago...
When you first came...
Yes.
It was like this, wasn't it?
You're talking too much!
Me too.
You're still not good enough.
That's all I can say.
You're still not good enough.
That's not true!
You're still not good enough.
What?
Well...
The TV and the theater...
For the time being...
The TV...
I can't say it all of a sudden.
But for the theater...
I can say it all of a sudden.
Yes.
But for the theater...
What about the audience?
They haven't been coming in lately.
Do you agree?
Yes, they are coming in.
They are coming in.
A lot?
Yes, a lot.
Two times?
Yes, of course.
Two times.
Two times for NGK.
How much money do you have?
3,500 yen.
3,500 yen is a lot of money.
A lot of money.
Two times?
Yes, two times.
Two times.
I knew it.
I'm sure you didn't wear it.
No, I mean...
It was amazing for us, wasn't it?
Yes, yes, I heard about it.
It's the same.
Really?
Yes.
It's like this.
Yes, it's the same.
Oh, Hana-chan, how much did you pay for it?
It was...
600 yen!
Oh, I didn't even have a ticket yet.
3000 yen?
It's cheap.
I didn't have that much money.
500 yen?
Yes.
How much was it?
It was about 400 million yen.
That's too much.
It's expensive.
Anyway, let's start with the night view.
Yes, let's start with the night view.
The night view.
I've always hated the night view.
Yes, yes, we heard about it.
It's dangerous.
It's okay.
Yes, it's okay.
But you can't go in there.
No, you can't go in there.
You can't go in there.
But there's something in there, right?
This is...
What is it?
Well, say it.
Is it this?
Say what you can't say.
Say it.
Say what you can say.
This is the night view of a supermarket.
Supermarket.
What do you mean?
You know, like a store wagon for small companies' products.
You want to advertise and sell it in a manzai style.
That's possible.
We can do that.
It's possible.
It's possible?
It's possible.
It's a joke.
Of course.
If you put money in it, it's a thousand yen.
That's right.
You can do it.
But...
This is a gala...
It's not cheap.
No.
That's impossible.
We have a genius.
Then it's impossible.
It's cheap.
- No, this is... - Well, well, well, I said it for now.
- Well, well, well, well, well. - Well, well, well, well.
- You mean, going to you is like 10,000 yen each or something like that? - Yes, 10,000 yen each.
- Yes. - Well, well, well.
- It's possible, isn't it? - 10,000 yen.
- No, no, not at all, not at all. - Is it? Is it possible?
- Not at all, not at all. - Is it?
- Well, then, don't worry about it! Don't worry about it! - Ah, yes, yes.
- It's possible, it's possible. - Ah, yes, yes.
- It's a joke, right? - It's a joke, it's a joke.
- Ah, is it? - Yes.
- Well, then... - A big human being saying "no" backwards...
- Ah, yes, it's funny. - Yes, yes, yes.
- Don't say that. - Big human being saying "no" backwards...
- Ah, yes, yes. - Yes, yes.
- I understand. - Yes.
- Well, I'm going to have a meeting... - Ah!
- I'm going to have a meeting! - I'm going to have a meeting!
- I dropped it... - Ah!
- He dropped it, he dropped it! - What?
- Did you see it? - I saw it.
- I dropped it... - I brought it.
- Ah, you two... - Ah, is that so?
- I'm sorry... - Ah, yes...
- Here you go... - Ah, yes, yes...
- Yes, yes... - Isn't it?
- Don't think of anything weird... - No, I'm not thinking of anything...
- Well, then... - Well, I'm sorry...
- Well, it's only for the car, but it's 5,000 yen each...
- This is... - Yes?
- This is...
I can't.
What a big man you are!
- Then... - Then, 10,000 yen each.
- Are you sure? - Me, too.
- You won't get anything. - No, me, too.
- 20,000, 2,000 yen and... - 30,000, 30,000 yen.
- I only lost about 50,000 yen. - 30,000 yen.
- I'm sorry. - No, give it back.
- No? - No.
- Oh... - I'm sorry.
I won't lose a single yen, though.
- That's funny. - Is it?
- Of course it is. - No, no.
- I'm not mad at you. - No, you're not.
It's like you came to borrow money.
- I'm sorry. - No problem.
I'm sorry, but are you going to Kaishinkou tomorrow?
I'm going to Tokyo tomorrow.
- I'm not at the head office. - Oh, really?
- Yes, I'm going to Tokyo. - Where are you going?
Fuji TV.
- Oh, I'm here. - Yes?
- Could you put in a call for me? - For what?
- For a hotel reservation. - Oh, okay.
- I'll do it right now. - Okay.
- I'll just get a ticket and... - No, not now.
- I'll get a ticket and... - In the evening...
- I'll do it right now. - Do it.
- Call me in the evening. - Oh, I'm sorry.
- I'll wait for you here. - No, you can't.
- I'll stay here. - No, you can't.
- I'll stay here. - I'll call you.
- I'll stay here. - No, you can't.
- I'll stay here. - Go home! It's over!
I won't let you go!
(Laughter)
Good evening, I am Ryoko Shinohara.
Have you ever peed?
How many times a day do you do it?
I have not done it yet.
(Laughter)
A new song has been released!
Everyone, help me!
Help me!
(Come on, man!)
Light up the night sky
Just the feeling of getting hot and cold
(Come on, come on!)
Let it be
(Come on, come on!)
I lost it that night
(Come on, come on!)
That's right
(Come on, come on!)
The truth is
There's a gap in my dream
(Come on, come on!)
That's right
(Come on, come on!)
From now on
(Come on, come on!)
I'll go to you
(Come on, come on!)
From now on
(Come on, come on!)
Kiss me
Kiss me twice
Kiss me
Like waking up from a short dream
(Come on, come on!)
Like waking up from a short dream
(Come on, come on!)
The world's kindest morning
(Come on, come on!)
The world's kindest morning
(Come on, come on!)
This program has been brought to you by...
(Come on, come on!)