AISubs v3.5
First, "Kids' Usefulness Edition", Battle for 1 million yen, badminton tournament!
Oh, you don't have anyone here today, do you?
That's right.
Your partner is Endo.
Endo was a little higher than average, so he's a little taller than me.
But for the sake of importance, we're all here today.
That's what it looks like.
Actually, Mr. Hamada's mental power-hunger is...
Is that so?
It may take longer than you think.
Endo's playtime.
The four of you can play badminton and wait for Ku-chan, right?
You don't have to say it.
It's the old days.
That's right, but...
Rock, paper, scissors?
Rock, paper, scissors, and...
That's right, but...
Hello, Japanese comedians.
I'm Benjamin Bonus.
I'm a world-class badminton player.
When I talked to you four here, you were already mad at me.
I've been waiting for you.
You should have said goodbye to Ku-chan first!
I didn't know that!
You made up a lot of characters and waited for me!
A man who suddenly appears and calls himself "Benjamin Bonus".
What is his purpose?
What's up?
I am Benjamin Bonus!
I am Benjamin Bonus.
I am a world-famous musician and producer.
I see.
I am a world-famous musician and producer.
I have produced many famous musicians.
For example...
Michael Jackson!
If it's true, it's amazing.
Madonna!
Ehara Masahiro!
Suddenly...
Now...
Now I will audition for the next Hollywood star.
Audition?
Yes!
I will take you to America!
I know it.
Miyagaoka said it but...
it seems that it's going up.
It's going up.
When you smoke in a smoking area, you can smell the end of a barrel.
You can smell the end of a barrel.
You have a hand!
Are you okay?
Adachi of Iso.
Kalkin.
It's Kalkin.
It's a great atmosphere.
What's your name?
You, Kalkin.
Kalkin.
Oh, yes. Good, good, good, good, good.
I love you, Benjamin Bono.
Thank you.
Social distance now!
What is this?
What?
What is this?
Come on, Harry Potts.
You guys have been doing this for a long time.
Social distance.
You didn't have to do it.
You guys are amazing.
Do you know anything about Hollywood?
No, of course we don't.
Is there a Hollywood version of "Gakitsuka"?
Do you know it?
I'll show you.
These are the members of "Gakitsuka" right now, right?
Yes.
"Gakitsuka" members, okay.
Yes.
For example, this one.
Yes, me.
This is a Hollywood version of "Gakitsuka".
Sam Shultz.
A Hollywood Sam Shultz.
"Gakitsuka" is a Hollywood version of "Gakitsuka".
And this is "Yasundeiru Eiendor".
"Yasundeiru Eiendor".
This is "Yasundeiru Eiendor".
"Oreta Oreta" is a famous line.
Yes.
This is a famous line.
Rampage Jackson is doing it.
Oh, that's right.
Kusari Irifutto and Kusari Imaito are doing it.
Does anyone know?
Kevin Dunne is doing it.
Let me see you guys.
You look a little like him.
You look like this person.
Our flow is completely different.
Oh, this is the problem.
You're the only one with a problem.
I have a problem, though.
Well, I'm going to take you guys to Hollywood.
You don't know about Hollywood, do you?
No, we don't know.
Okay, so I'm going to test you about Hollywood.
Tell me about Hollywood.
Hurry up and tell me.
You're important.
Hey, you're not going to tell me about Hollywood, are you?
Do you know anything about Hollywood?
No.
What do you mean?
I've been there.
Oh, you've been there?
Yes, I have.
When did you go there?
Wait a minute.
When did you go there?
About 20 years ago.
20 years ago?
Yes.
How long did you go there for?
About a week.
You've been there for a long time.
You know a lot about Hollywood.
Well, I went there for fun and such.
Where did you go for fun in Hollywood?
Don't talk like that!
Stop it!
What are you talking about?
I turned it off because you started talking.
Oh, I'm sorry.
It's rude of you to turn it off because you started talking.
No, it's fine.
Who else has been to Hollywood?
I've been there.
What about the United States?
No, it's fine.
What about the United States?
It's fine.
You don't have to worry about me.
I've been to New York.
Oh, you've been to New York.
I like New York.
I'm interested in Hollywood and New York.
I'm not laughing.
I can go anywhere in Japan, but I can't go anywhere else in America.
I can't go anywhere in America, but I can't go anywhere in America.
You can go anywhere in America.
Please tell me about Hollywood.
I'm sorry.
I don't think you know much about Hollywood.
I'll tell you about it one by one.
Adachi and Kalkin will be your role models.
Please watch it.
Let's go.
U.S.A!
Jump it up!
Benjamin Bonus' cool words!
One by one!
Say it for me!
One, two, three, four!
First is Adachi-kun!
Say it for me!
Very rich!
Next is Kankin-chan!
Say it for me!
Very tall!
Say it for me!
Kiss!
Okay, okay!
I'm going to make you all die with me!
If you say it like that, it's impossible!
I really don't like it!
I'm going to say it one by one, so say what I think is cool!
Did you say "kiss" at the end?
It's a game called "kill or kiss".
If you say "kiss", you're out.
If you say "kill", you're out.
I'm counting on you!
Look!
It's long.
I'm Benjamin Bonus!
Say it for me!
One, two, three, four!
First is Hosei-chan!
Say it for me!
Your watch is very cool!
Next is Macchan!
Say it for me!
Your white hair suits you!
Next is Hamacchan!
Say it for me!
Your mustache is cool!
Next is Tanaka-chan!
Say it for me!
Your sunglasses are very gorgeous!
Are you serious? Are you serious?
Are you serious?
Somebody bring me a fire extinguisher!
Are you serious?
Somebody bring me a fire extinguisher!
Oh, no. It's cut.
I'm counting on you, Tanaka.
You're the only one who's slipping now.
I'm serious.
How many percent did you get out of yourself?
Out of yourself...
Hey!
He's calm. I'm not calm at all.
Can you not stop him?
I'll show you an example.
Hosei, you do it all.
Okay.
Say everything I say.
Okay.
One, two, three, four!
Look at me, Hosei.
Move, move!
Oh, my eyes! It's cut!
Yes, yes, yes!
Yes, yes! Move to the side!
Yes, yes, yes!
That's great!
Oh, oh!
It's close to cutting!
Okay!
Let's do it!
One, two, three, four!
First of all, Hosei, say it for me!
The belt is cool!
Yeah!
One more time, Hosei, say it for me!
The stick looks useful!
Yeah!
One more time, Hosei, say it for me!
The jacket looks good on you!
Yeah!
Hotara and Tanaka, say it for me!
The socks are very charming!
You're really a piece of shit!
Seriously!
You're really a piece of shit!
Hey, someone cut it! It's hot!
You're really a piece of shit!
Hey, someone cut it! It's hot!
No, the cut came out.
No, Hosei-chan did it so much for me.
Let's do it again. Hosei-chan, can you do it again?
Can you do it again?
Yes, I can!
Hosei-chan, can you do it?
No, I can't!
I can't do it alone!
I think we should do it together!
No, I can do it!
I'll leave it up to you, Hosei-chan.
If you want me to stop, I'll stop.
Can I stop?
Yes, you can.
Then, I'll stop.
You'll stop?
Yes.
Then, Hosei-chan...
Get out!
Today's work is done, Gogoro-san.
That's...
I'm sorry.
Can you do it one last time?
That's right. I'm sorry.
I didn't think you'd tell me to get out.
There's no such thing as a chance.
Get out of here.
What? Really?
Gogoro-san, thank you.
No, no, no!
What do you think?
Can you give me one last chance?
Do you want me to do it all?
I'll do it all!
Then, if you get a kiss, I'll let you go.
I see.
Okay.
I'll do it four times in one person.
Four times in one person?
Yes, understood!
No way!
I'm doing something I shouldn't be doing!
Now!
Yes, one last chance.
Yes, I'm sorry.
On the contrary, please let me kiss you.
Understood!
Okay.
Let's ride it. Let's ride it and go!
Let's go with our feelings! Let's go with our feelings!
We can do it with our feelings!
Let's go with everything!
Feelings! Let's do it with our feelings!
Hosei-chan!
I'm sure we'll get good results!
First, Hosei-chan! Give me one!
There are two rings!
Next, Hosei-chan! Tell me!
Your sunglasses are cloudy!
Next, Hosei-chan! Tell me!
Your white hair is shiny!
Hosei-chan! Give me one!
Your hair is tied up!
Are you serious, Hosei-chan?
Are you serious?
I don't know! I don't know!
Are you serious?
Get out of here!
Excuse me!
What's wrong with you?
Hosei!
Yes!
Come here for a second!
Are you sure you're okay with that?
Are you sure you're okay with that?!
I don't like it!
Look at what you've done!
If I hadn't stopped you, you'd really be dead!
I'm sorry!
Come here more!
Yes!
Come here with feelings!
Yes!
I'm sorry!
Get out!
Please forgive him!
That's enough!
Are you reflecting on yourself?
Yes! Please forgive me!
Get out of here!
Okay, next...
To go to Hollywood...
Speed and reflexes are very important!
I'm going to test you now, okay?
Yes!
Everyone, put this in your right hand...
Yes!
Put a glove in your right hand...
Hollywood star's essential skill...
Reflexes test!
We're going to play a reflexes game now!
Yes!
Put your hands up and down!
In the reflexes game...
Put your hands up and down!
I'm going to say "up and down" in English...
I think it's difficult in English...
I'm going to translate for you...
Yes!
Okay, slow speed, okay?
First, we'll do it at slow speed...
Put your hands up and down!
Put your hands up...
Put your hands down now!
Put your hands down...
Okay, max speed, okay?
Max speed...
For real?
Put your hands up!
Put your hands up...
Put your hands down!
Put your hands down...
Put your hands up! Put your hands down!
Don't put your hands up...
Put your hands down...
Oh my god!
What's going on?
Isn't your heart rate changing?
In the end, it's better to do it...
Your speed is cool!
How about your speed?
Max, max speed...
Max speed...
Shall we do space speed?
Ultimate space speed...
Okay...
Can you do it?
Put your hands up!
Put your hands down!
Put your hands up!
Don't put your hands up, put your hands down!
Oh my god!
And the pattern is always the same!
It's all the same!
Help me!
Next game, Hollywood star is...
Hollywood star is...
Crocodile Dandy!
Oh...
Open!
Oh my god!
Big Crocodile!
Okay?
You...fight!
Okay?!
You will fight each other!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Do we start with kanji?
Is this Kabuki?
One by one...
Crocodile Dandy's items are...
Knife and cowboy hat!
Let's start with animals...
Tanaka!
Yes, yes, yes!
Okay!
Three...two...one...fight!
I don't think you can do it.
Even if you bite me...
Good, good, good!
That's it! That's it!
Did you knock him down?
Raise your hand if you knocked him down!
Yes!
Nice fight!
Okay, good!
Thank you!
Okay, next is you, Matchan.
Can you do it?
Yes!
3...
2...
1...
Fight!
Help me!
Stop it!
Don't make me laugh!
That was a normal fight.
It wasn't a normal fight.
You didn't come here to laugh anyway.
You didn't.
That's right! I'm sorry!
My staff told me, "Did you come here to die?"
Did you come here to die?
I'll do my best!
Okay!
Hosei, can you do it?
Yes!
I'll give you a tough test.
This crocodile is small.
Is it a real crocodile?
Huh?
Close your eyes!
Hey!
It's like a dead crocodile.
Come here!
Close your eyes!
Huh?
Crocodiles change.
Hey!
You really came here to die, didn't you?
Huh?
Open your eyes!
Come here!
Hey you two!
Yes!
It's a count!
Okay, Hosei.
Fight!
Yes!
Hey!
Okay! Okay!
He's super strong!
I'll kill you!
I've never seen such a tough fighter!
He's really good.
- Let's go see Hamada. - What?
I'm scared. I'm going to stab you.
- Well... - Go ahead.
Mr. Hamada, fight!
I beat you up!
You beat me up!
I beat you up!
No, no, no, no.
You beat me up completely, didn't you?
Huh?
I beat you up completely.
Huh?
Did you get it?
What's wrong with you?
Did you get it?
You hit me like this and my jaw came out like this.
When you came back, you came back like this.
I went back too much.
You went back too much.
I went back too much.
Now, all tests are over.
Who passed the audition successfully?
Finally, I will announce who passed the audition successfully.
Hama-chan.
Yes.
You were amazing.
I'm sorry.
What's wrong with you?
I'm sorry.
I thought you came like this.
I was shocked.
I'm sorry.
You passed.
What?
You were amazing.
Hama-chan, congratulations on passing!
Thank you.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
You passed.
Yes.
Hama-chan, congratulations.
Yes.
I'm sorry to say this, but your face is too Asian.
Shall we change your face?
What?
Your face doesn't look good.
It doesn't look good?
Yes.
It's impossible.
Yes.
Hama-chan, let's go.
Let's go fix your face.
What?
It's high up there.
What are you talking about?
Let's go.
Yes.
You're really taking me with you.
Yes.
I've been there before, so I'm a little scared of you taking me with you.
Come here, cute girl.
Wow, you recognized me well.
You're not feeling well, are you?
I think Benjamin will be back soon.
Thank you for waiting.
He's back.
Yes.
Come here.
Come here, cute girl.
Wow, you've grown up. You're not sick, are you?
Come here, cute girl. I'm glad you're beautiful.
Now I can say it. Right?
I don't care who you are.
What?
I don't care who you are.
I don't care about your face.
No.
Didn't I say you don't need a face?
No, I don't need it. I'm not sick.
You're not sick.
I said I don't care who you are.
No, you gave me your spirit.
Mr. Benjamin.
Excuse me for interrupting you.
What's up?
We just received a call from the U.S. Space Agency.
A huge meteorite is about to hit Japan.
What?
Shut up.
Is that all we can do?
Yes.
Let's go!
It's spring.
What?
Are we going?
It's spring.
What?
It's spring.
What?
Are we going?
I'm sorry, Mr. Amada.
After closing the curtain, Kuu-chan said, "I'm sorry, Mr. Hamada."
Did you say that?
Yes, I did.
Oh, really? I heard you.
I should have closed the curtain a little more and waited a little longer, but you said "I'm sorry, Mr. Hamada" at a fairly early stage.
But the meteorite fell and only four people survived.
That's what you said.
I wonder what will happen.
I don't know.
Jackson 5?
I think so.
Jackson 5?
It's a smoothie.
What? What? What? Really?
It's over.
It's over?
You're kidding me, right?
What was that?
It was like it was over.
The earth was saved.
It was saved.
Yes, the meteorite fell.
We were saved.
I don't know.
The earth was saved, but we weren't saved.
In the end, you, Endo and Rossi are the best.
You two are off.
Thank you for your hard work.
I don't know what you're talking about.
At the end of the show, you said it with a lively feeling.
Show me a little more.
Then I'll blame you.
Yes, I'll blame you for a moment.
I don't know what you're talking about.
New Dogmo.
Mokumo.
Good!
Thank you very much!
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