AISubs v3.5
In the first episode of "Gaki no Tsukai Yawara"
Chikichiki, Nagashima Kazushige completely produced "Karta Soudatsusen"
Kazushige-san, you look so busy with your side break.
I don't have much time today.
Our guest is Ketsukacchi.
That's right.
Let's bring him in.
He has a butt.
Right? He's busy.
Kazushige-san!
Kazushige-san, I'm sorry!
What's up with you, Ketsukacchi?
He has a butt.
I didn't decide it.
He's a producer, so he has a schedule.
It's been two seconds since he came out and got kicked in the butt.
It's my first time getting kicked in the butt in a recording.
How can you get kicked in the butt?
It was scary.
It was really scary.
It was hard, wasn't it?
I thought about 44 or 45 patterns.
I thought about it seriously.
Did you draw the picture properly?
Of course.
Do you have a picture in mind?
If you look at the picture, you'll know how many there are.
Kazushige Nagashima!
What am I saying, idiot?
With his self-righteous character,
he appeared in 272 TV shows last year and sold soap to the industry!
Yes, I'll buy it.
The most passionate man's unexpected face will be revealed tonight!
The rules are simple.
The one with the most wins will get a luxurious gift from Kazushige.
Is it the same as usual?
The one with the most wins will get a reward.
You drew it well, didn't you?
I drew it seriously.
You are not bad at it.
You are checking it.
I'm not checking it.
I'm just looking at how good you are at drawing.
It's a pass.
Thank you very much.
Then, I'll start.
From the bottom...
No!
That's fast.
You were looking at it.
I wasn't looking at it!
You were looking at it!
You were checking it.
You were looking at it seriously.
I'll read it until the end.
From the bottom...
No matter what you say, you like boobs.
I see.
You like boobs.
Even if you are big?
Even if you are big, you like boobs.
Which one do you like, Hama-san?
The bottom or boobs?
Men like it.
I like boobs, too.
Boobs.
Hamada-san likes boobs a lot.
He said he likes boobs no matter what size.
No matter what size.
Even if it's small?
That's right.
Matsumoto-san?
I don't like boobs that much.
The problem is my nipples.
It doesn't matter if my nipples are the same size or not.
He's quite a maniac.
What kind of boobs do you like?
As long as they're big.
For example, if you were an idol in the past...
If you were an idol in the past...
Kawaii Naoko-san.
That's right.
And...
Sakagibara Ikue-chan.
If I say that now, my son will get mad at me.
Ikue-san, for example.
That's a little...
You're looking at me like that?
I wonder if there are people who don't like boobs.
What about you, Tanaka?
Do you feel uncomfortable?
What's wrong with you?
You don't have a teacher at all.
I like nipples more.
Oh, you like nipples more.
I like bigger nipples.
Who do you like?
I like Kawaii Naoko-san, too.
When I was a kid, I thought she was amazing.
She's very popular.
When I was a kid, I thought she was amazing.
I don't know which one is better.
Maybe.
If it's enough for me to fail on my own, I like nipples more.
Nipples don't fail, do they?
Nipples don't fail.
Oh, but sometimes there are ugly ones.
You're delicate.
I've seen ugly nipples.
What are you talking about?
All right.
Unexpectedly, my middle name is Paulo.
You're quick.
Paulo? I don't know what you're talking about.
You're quick.
I'm Catholic.
My real name is Kazushige Paulo Nagashima.
You're quick.
When I'm preached, my middle name is included.
I'm a 12-year-old Christian.
Not many people say that.
My family is Catholic.
My brothers were preached to me when they were in elementary school.
Paulo is the most amazing place.
It's like Shofuku-tei in Jaguar.
Tsukitei is like this.
Tsukitei is disappearing more and more.
Tsukitei is not my middle name.
I know.
I thought you didn't know.
I know.
I didn't know that.
Here we go.
I complain about myself.
Yes!
Oh, it's over.
Oh, Mr. Hama.
What's up with you?
I happened to see it.
I'm also confused.
You're in front of me, but you're bothered.
I just came up, right?
Mr. Hama, did you get it?
You always say something, don't you?
When we have a meeting, you say, "What about it?"
I don't want to do it as soon as I'm told.
I don't want to object.
Do you have that with Mr. Hama?
No, I don't.
As you were told?
I do.
You're lying?
Are you serious?
What are you talking about?
Mr. Hama told me.
Really?
No way.
His face turned red.
He's nervous.
I've seen it before.
Mr. Matsumoto, do you have it?
No, I don't.
Let me try it.
You won't know if you try it, will you?
Have you tried it when you thought it was boring?
Yes, I have.
I like it when people talk about it.
I've never heard of it.
I like it.
I've never heard of it.
I like it.
Surprisingly.
When you say hello in Mr. Matsumoto's dressing room,
the previous producers are quite arrogant.
Aren't they?
Hey, Kazusugi, why do you say hello in my dressing room?
Is it true?
You're being too polite.
I always say hello to my seniors.
You're not my senior.
I am.
Do you say hello to your hamsters, too?
Of course, I do.
Are you here?
No, I'm not here.
You're being too polite.
We're having a hard time communicating with you.
That's right.
We're having a hard time communicating with you.
Please choose one of us.
Oh, you're here, too, in front of the kids.
Of course, we are.
We're having a hard time, too.
Why don't you two live in the dressing room together?
That's right.
That's how you live in one floor.
That's right.
Why don't you two look around the dressing room and see if there's any curry soup in it?
What does "kusa" mean?
"Kusa"?
What does "kusa" mean?
Then...
Here we go.
Looks are...
Slender to chubby!
"ru"! "ru"!
"ru" is this "dondon" sound.
Oh, I see!
Here again?!
It's been here all along!
It's here! We mixed them up!
Hamada Masatochi's Karuta tournament.
Kyosen's quiz show.
Shall we mix them up? Shall we mix them up?
Let's mix them up!
That's right!
Let's mix them up!
This is also a woman's favorite story, so it's a little bit about boobs.
Certainly, it's not sexy at all to make a gap in the thigh when you put your feet apart.
That's right.
But there are a lot of people who like it.
That's right. There are people who like it.
Are there?
Everyone is chubby.
What about me?
Yes, chubby people have relatively plump buttocks.
Because you like buttocks?
Yes, I like buttocks.
But you used to like slender women, didn't you?
Who?
Your ex-wife.
My ex-wife?
You only talk about her.
If you only talk about her, I don't like it.
I don't like it.
I want to talk about various things.
Do you want to talk about women?
I want to talk about various things.
What do you want to do with your buttocks?
I want to talk about various things.
Do you want to beat someone up?
No.
Do you beat someone up?
I don't beat someone up.
I beat someone up occasionally.
What happens if you beat someone up?
Just say "Ah"
Only abnormal people are abnormal people.
But if you praise me and say it, it's no good.
Don't say it yourself.
It's a way of saying it.
It's a troublesome way of saying it.
Everyone, let's end it.
I want to talk about it more.
Let's go.
In reality, No. 1 Omi beef Chateaubriand D.
Again!
It's not a coincidence.
I mixed it up.
Your cigarettes are all like this.
All of them are like this.
It's easy to pick up.
When did you become like this?
For me,
Mr. Shiga's...
You've been eating a lot of good food since you were little.
I think it's delicious.
Is that so?
Is that so for him?
I think I'm the worst eater.
Yes, you're the worst eater.
You know a lot of expensive things.
You're right.
You go to listen to classical music or watch ballet throughout the year.
I think it's different from you.
That's a lie!
Ballet?
Ballet is a lie!
What ballet did you go to watch?
There's a ballet, "The Swamp of the Swordsman".
I don't go to watch such bad things.
What is it?
What ballet?
What ballet?!
You know, like "The Swamp of the Swordsman".
Also, Kumakawa-san's movies.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
I watch them all.
All of them?
I like "The Swamp of the Swamp".
What did you watch recently?
Not bugs, I like "The Swamp of the Swamp".
"The Swamp of the Swamp" is good.
It's amazing! "The Swamp of the Swamp"!
It's not "Big Beef".
But you didn't eat cup noodles when you were little, did you?
I ate a lot of cup noodles.
Really?
I love it.
When I was in elementary school, chicken ramen came out.
Also, Calbee's corn soup flavor came out.
With potato chips.
That's very common.
That's the first one.
What about "Rider Card"?
"Rider Card" came out a lot, too.
Also, "Home Run Card" from Calbee.
Yes, yes, yes.
"Home Run Card" came out a lot.
What about your allowance?
My allowance?
When I was in elementary school and junior high school,
I was given a lot of New Year's money.
So for a year...
"New Year's money"?
That's a lot of money.
Did you get it yourself?
Of course, I kept it for a year.
"Give it to me" means...
When I say New Year's greetings,
my father's relatives greet me.
I don't know how to say it.
I show my son how I give New Year's money.
It's a little complicated, but...
Well,
there are about 40 people.
It's not like you can give
1 person 1,000 yen.
No, it's not like that.
Well, 10,000 yen is definitely...
400,000 to 500,000 yen.
Wow!
I kept it for a year.
It was actually 2,000 to 3,000 yen.
What?
You collected all of it?
Yes, I collected all of it.
I'm about to cry right now.
It reminds me of that sand vessel.
Why am I not a human like my dad?
Well, let's begin.
Heavy Lotte, Seiko's red water bottle.
It was there, right?
This is also from your place, isn't it?
No, it's not!
Heavy Lotte.
Seiko-chan.
Seiko-san.
It's Seiko-san's generation.
I debuted as Seiko-san in middle school, about two years ago.
Didn't you say you like Kawaii Naoko earlier?
What about boobs?
I like Kanata.
Yes, Kanata.
Let's talk about the song first.
The song is Seiko-san's.
I like Seiko-san's red water bottle.
So you like Seiko-chan more than Akina-chan?
That's right.
I also like Akina-san.
When I was in first or second year of high school, a star was born.
At that time, Akina-san, and if I remember correctly, Matsumoto Io-san, Hayami Yuucha-san...
You were born in 1982, right?
Yes, I was born in 1982.
All of them were born.
Only Akina-san's popularity increased a lot.
A star was born.
I still remember most of their productions.
Momoi-chan of Chiusantrio, right?
That's right.
Momoi-san and Junko-chan, right?
Yes.
And Masako-chan.
Hey!
What are you talking about?
They're all lined up.
That's right.
Is Hama-san's idol the same?
It's about the same.
But I think it's Bako-chan.
Bako-chan in the back!
Yaeba! Yaeba!
That Yaeba was cute.
Bako-chan is still pretty even now.
She is.
She hasn't changed even after watching commercials.
Who is Matsumoto-san's idol?
I think it's Momoe-chan.
Yamaguchi Momoe-san.
But if Momoe-chan invites me to her house, what should I do?
I think I'll worry about it till the end.
I can't go. It's impossible.
Maybe I'll say "Sorry, I can't. I'm going home." at the entrance.
What are you worrying about?
Are you thinking about it?
I'll go to the entrance.
But Tomokazu looks noisy.
Tomokazu?
That's impossible.
Tomokazu?
That's impossible.
He looks noisy.
The card battle continues!
It's pretty fast right now.
Kazushige's honest side is revealed!
This is amazing!
I saw you winning a karate championship in a different program.
You still do it?
I still do it.
Were you interested in it in the first place?
Yes. When I was in elementary school, there was a program called "Karate Idiot Era".
Matsumoto-san is probably in his real life now.
I was wondering whether I should do karate or yakitori.
Can you stop it for a second?
I want you to act.
I'll do my best.
I'm scared of Kazushige.
Kazushige is ready!
I don't like girls who wear perfume.
I want to smell people.
Which one do you prefer?
I don't like the smell of perfume.
I don't like the turbo.
You don't take a shower, do you?
No.
You don't take a shower, do you?
I don't take a shower.
Either way, I don't like it.
How about you, Hamada?
This is getting weird.
Stop it!
Hamada is one step ahead of the number of wins so far.
And the winner is...
Who will win?
Here we go!
A confrontation with a monster smile that ended in a dream.
You
You didn't say goodbye, did you?
No, I didn't.
Oh!
The reason I didn't say goodbye is...
When Mr. Egger retired...
It was the last year of the Kora Baseball Club.
And I joined the club in the year before the Dome.
It's been a year and a half.
Anyway, I'm a big fan of Mr. Egger.
I wanted to compete with Mr. Egger.
I wanted to join the club with a dream in my heart.
That was actually the number one reason I joined.
Is that so?
I see.
So, when you joined the club, Mr. Egger wasn't there anymore?
No, Mr. Egger wasn't there anymore.
Oh, I see.
I see.
When I was 25 years old...
When I left the club and joined the Giants...
Mr. Matsui joined the club.
Yes.
It was a camp in Miyazaki.
Mr. Matsui is a new player.
Of course, a new player is the last one to practice batting.
And I...
I'm not a regular player.
I practice batting with Mr. Matsui.
At that time...
Mr. Egger...
...is throwing with Mr. Matsui's batting gauge.
See!
Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
What does that mean?
Of course, it's been years since Mr. Egger retired...
...but there was a TV show where...
...Mr. Egger would bat and throw at Mr. Matsui...
...and Mr. Egger would probably comment on it.
There was a show like that.
I see, I see.
"Why Godzilla?" I thought.
Isn't that fine?
Even though you want to play against him so badly?
Even though I want to play against him!
By the way...
...after Mr. Matsui finished his batting practice...
...he jumped in right away.
I see, I see.
I thought Mr. Egger might do it for me.
So I got out of my batting gauge...
...and Mr. Egger was still there.
I thought about going in...
...but Mr. Egger didn't look at me at all...
...and went back in.
So you got out of your batting gauge.
That was really disappointing.
Mr. Matsui didn't...
No, he didn't fly properly.
Oh, I see.
He was being pushed.
I thought...
...Mr. Egger is amazing!
I was watching it...
...but why didn't you...
...go against me?
Let's begin.
"Nukarinai"...
Miyazaki Hayao's...
...famous performance...
"Mu...
...mu desu!"
Yes!
I've never heard of it.
Oh, you've heard of it.
Mr. Miyazaki Hayao...
I've played a voice actor before...
...for a movie.
Oh, really?
In "Ponyo on a Cliff".
Ponyo...
...is a father of a boy.
A sailor!
Yes! A sailor!
I was really surprised...
...because you have to match...
...the picture and the voice...
...but it doesn't work...
...no matter how long you stand.
Because it doesn't work?
No, no...
It doesn't work.
It's difficult...
...especially for "Ghibli".
In the end...
...the teacher said...
That's enough!
Kazushige-kun, you can say whatever you like.
Look, it's stupid, isn't it?
But you guys make me do it!
Do you do it alone?
Yes, I do it alone.
Even if you have a partner...
...it's a part-time job, right?
Yes, it's a part-time job.
Why doesn't it fit?
It fits, doesn't it?
No matter what I do, it doesn't fit.
It fits, doesn't it?
No matter what I do, it doesn't fit.
No, no, it fits.
It fits, but...
If Miyazaki-sensei says 'this doesn't fit Kazushige-kun'...
Then, Kazushige-kun-san, for once...
Try reading this line up to your own senses.
And I did it.
Then, that's fine.
And it ended.
Eh? But it doesn't fit with the picture at all.
Is it okay to end it like this?
I thought like that, but...
Later...
You're stuck in it, aren't you?
Later...
I changed the picture.
You changed it?!
I changed the picture.
Wow, that's amazing!
Wow, you're such a pain in the ass.
You're a man, aren't you?
And that's what happened.
Since then...
His English is pretty good.
It's pretty good, right?
It's not.
I think it was pretty good!
Don't you all have that kind of thing?
Atel-ko?
Atel-ko? I've never done that before.
Don't you, Hama-san?!
Ah, Amatsuma-san.
Hama-san does!
I did it with Shrek.
It's similar.
With Shrek.
But, you know, with Shrek, it's not done properly.
The pencil...
The line of Shrek just moves...
Sometimes it's done properly, and sometimes it's not.
The people over there cut it all out first.
Oh, I see.
So, according to the voice...
They cut it all out first and make it into an anime.
I see.
So it's the opposite.
That's amazing.
Have you ever been called "Shrek" while walking down the street?
No.
No, I haven't.
Shrek!
"Shrek!" and you turn around?
Well, I was doing it, so maybe I'll call you once.
Next week...
I'm late because I didn't sleep enough.
The same Cartasodas battle, part two!
I went to the kitchen and brought a knife.
Confessing his life's biggest slurper!
And his desire for rest!
As a person who played baseball, I don't want to be a coach like anyone else.
It's impossible!
Mr. Hamada! Mr. Hamada!
I don't know!
It's obvious that Katsushigei doesn't know yet!
It's curry soup!
It stinks! It stinks!