AISubs v3.5
Ladies and Gentlemen!
Good morning! Good morning!
I'm back!
Good morning!
Ah!
To the brain!
Do it every time!
Ah, that's right, that's right.
Yes.
Don't you shave that much?
Because it hurts my head.
Die already!
If you just shave it, your head will be cut off.
Don't be born yet!
Because it will tighten here.
Eh, why do you shave your head?
I'm really...
Die!
Um, this...
Today, this...
The scab hurts.
The scab.
The scab?
It doesn't go up?
The scab goes up.
The scab goes up no matter what.
The right arm goes up.
Um, the scab goes up.
The left arm goes up.
Like this...
Ah, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts!
No, it really, really hurts.
It definitely hurts!
When you do it like this, the scab hurts.
It definitely hurts.
That's not possible!
No, no, seriously, seriously, seriously.
It's the afternoon, right?
Probably, probably, right?
In the afternoon, the scab hurt, right?
The right arm, right?
The right arm goes up, right?!
Why does the left arm go up?
What do you think about the scab?
You're in a bad mood, aren't you?
Are you going to keep saying that?
Didn't you get a scab in the afternoon?
What are you talking about?
Scab, scab.
Huh?
Scab, scab.
While you were talking?
While you were working?
While you were working, you had a scab?
You...
Did you have lower eyelashes like that?
What's wrong with your lower eyelashes?
No, no. Do you eat jintan while you work?
I don't have such a deep feeling.
Don't you eat jintan for the first time in a while?
For the first time in a while... I haven't eaten it that much.
- Recently... - Do you eat it this much?
Recently, young people don't know much about jintan.
- This much? - Yes.
But it's surprisingly addictive.
Only old people eat jintan.
Only old people eat it.
But don't eat more than 100 jintan a day.
- How much do you eat? - Less than 100 jintan.
Are you holding it back?
Also, don't suck it like you do in real life.
Don't take it out!
- Do you have it? - Yes, I do.
- Why do you do it? Don't do it in real life. - My nose gets stuffy and I get allergies.
- But you should do it several times a day. - You should do it before going out.
The timing with this jintan was perfect.
I have a lot of them.
- So you don't have two of them? - No, I don't.
- Don't you have anything else? - No, I don't.
- You still do that thing... - Aikos, right?
What is that? It's gross.
- It's better than that. - You should stop doing that.
What?
- Again? - Why did you stop anyway?
Tell me about it.
- I smoked cigarettes a lot. - You smoked a lot.
- When I was the worst, I smoked five boxes of cigarettes. - Five boxes of cigarettes?
- When I started my childhood, I smoked cigarettes even when I was shooting. - You smoked, you smoked...
- It was common back then. - It was common back then.
- But you smoked back then. - Yeah.
- Why did you stop? - I wanted to quit, but I couldn't.
- You can't quit somehow.
- What are you eating? - Gintan!
Drink it up, Gintan!
- Don't let it get into your mouth! - It's always there!
- My precious Gintan!
- It's always there! - No, no, just drink it up.
- Now, what should we do? - Huh?
- There's someone who wants to talk to you. - Oh, is that so?
- Hello! - Hello!
- Hello! I'm Daien!
- Nice to meet you!
- What? - No, no, no...
- No, I don't like that way of talking. - No?
- No, I don't like it. - What?
- I hate him the most! - I hate him so much!
- I hate him the most!
- I hate him so much! - Every time I go out to drink, I hate him the most!
- I'm sorry! It's just that my best friend gets angry at me.
- We'd like to ask you for a favour. - That's really important.
- I'd like you to ask him that. - It smells like opera.
- What?! Leave me alone!
- I thought it was opera.
Me too!
I wish it was a temple.
I'm sorry.
In April, you left Osaka and came to Tokyo.
Thank you.
There is no sign of your break.
Yes.
So we would like to ask you about how you can break.
Usually, comedians who leave Osaka and come to Tokyo have their own story.
Yes.
You could do it here.
You left Osaka because you had an answer, didn't you?
So we came here without an answer.
So we don't know what we should do.
You two are too big for this show.
I was surprised when I saw you on TV.
You are too big for this show.
What is it?
I'd like to talk about it.
First of all, I'd like you to look at our current situation.
Here it is.
It's handwritten.
Dian, go to Tokyo. Summarize it.
Summarizing it is not enough.
It's meaningless.
I can't summarize it.
It's not planned at all.
You wrote "dian" too big and I can't summarize it.
I hate this kind of thing.
It's stupid.
You two are stupid.
It's not stupid, but it just happened.
I see.
You are 19 years old.
Your family is Nankai Candies, Nonstyle, Nobcobpiece and Kingkong.
I know all of you.
All of you are famous.
You moved to Tokyo when you were 41 years old.
You are the oldest.
You are 41 years old.
You are 41 years old now.
I am 42 years old.
You are already 42 years old.
You don't have to be 41 years old.
I don't care if you are 41 or 42 years old.
Answer me honestly!
Why are you getting mad at me?
Stop it.
I don't care. I'm hated.
Why do you hate me like this?
It's been 19 years.
Yes, it's been 19 years.
By the way, how did you feel when you were removed from downtown?
How many years ago?
Removal? I mean, Tokyo and Osaka were still half and half.
I went home from work and came back here.
So you lived only in Osaka?
I lived in both Osaka and Tokyo.
Oh, you lived in both Osaka and Tokyo.
I had a house in both of them, but I didn't have a lotion.
No, no.
Lotion...
Tokyo and Osaka...
Can you leave it alone?
When I brought Osaka's bigger lotion here...
The main lotion...
I used it a lot in Osaka.
I brought it with me when I was little.
Yes, yes, yes.
In your car?
Yes, yes, yes.
In my second bag.
I've never had an item in a big bullet train.
It doesn't get dirty.
I brought a bigger one with me, but...
Huh?
27...
27 or 28 years old?
26!
So I think it's good that it started.
Yes, yes, yes.
Yes.
I think it's good to laugh about it.
Yes.
It's getting late every year.
Yes, it's getting late every year.
And we prepared for the situation.
Yes.
You were allowed to go to Osaka for 6 years.
But you went there for 4 years instead of 6 years.
No, no. You should pay me back.
No, no.
I paid you back for 2 years as well.
You paid me back for 2 years as well?
I paid you back for 2 years as well.
I feel like I can't go back to Osaka.
No, no. That's why you graduated from Osaka for 2 years.
We are determined not to go back to Osaka for 2 years.
You have 4 years left. It's almost like Osaka.
No, no, no.
It's almost like Tokyo.
If you have 4 years left and you are an octopus, you will be fine.
You are an octopus.
I don't know how you look like.
You don't know how you look like?
You are wearing a suit and you don't know how you look like.
But we are 41 years old.
Yes. We are not insurance companies.
Insurance companies.
Tsuda is...
I am...
Aho's Tsuda is...
He left his family and came to see love.
Tsuda lives in Ebisu.
Yes.
Aho lives there.
I want to say that it's good for you to live there.
But the rent is high, isn't it?
How is Ebisu without rent?
When you are invited, you can move right away.
The lightness of the footwork.
That's why I chose Ebisu.
Should I invite you?
You are inviting me a lot!
Who is taking care of you?
Takahashi-san of Savannah.
Koji-san of Imana.
And Shinagawa-san.
And Daigo-san of Chidori.
You invite me like you do every day.
But I don't care.
That's right.
It doesn't matter.
I don't care about you.
I like someone who is stronger.
That's it!
You are stupid!
He is bad at this, too.
You are stupid!
You are stupid! You are stupid!
Nijida is from Shinagawa.
By considering my tie with Osaka...
You're going back to Osaka!
No, no...
He is absolutely right.
He lives in Shinagawa, which does not mean that.
Shinagawa has various meanings, but he likes various means of transportation.
Yes, as for my activities after the situation, I usually go back and forth between Rumine and Osaka.
That's how it is now.
Looking at you, you work in Osaka.
I work in Osaka.
That's enough.
No, no, I mean in Tokyo...
Go back!
Wait a minute!
What was that?
Wait a minute!
I thought so, too.
This is the first time I've had an opinion since my debut.
Here?
I want you two to go back.
It feels like you sniff poop.
Don't say such things.
It feels like you sniff poop.
Both of you smell like poop.
It really does, Kai.
Don't say such things.
Both of you smell like poop.
Both of you smell like poop!
Wait a minute.
You two smell like poop.
That's enough.
I don't care if you smell like poop.
Why do you two come out and smell like poop?
I'm really nervous.
You two smell like human bodies.
What's the smell like?
Do you think it's over?
That's enough!
For example, what kind of things do regulars aim for?
How many times do they push you?
For example, do they call you?
Yes, yes, yes.
Do they call you once and then call you again?
Basically, they don't call me.
They only call me once.
That's the worst.
If they call you twice, you'll be called about three times.
If they don't call you for the first time, it's the worst.
I see.
It's the same for me when it comes to feudalism.
Feudalism...
You don't like it?
I don't like it. I'm not good at it.
Are you talking about feudalism?
It doesn't feel good at all.
It's too bright.
I'm talking about feudalism's room.
It's too bright.
I'll give you more detailed advice.
First of all, this.
You can't go in for a talk show.
It's terrible!
Don't look at me like that!
We just came in April.
We haven't been recognized yet.
The audience and the staff are the same.
The sponsors are the same.
It's hard to go in.
It was possible in Osaka.
That's right.
It was possible in Roppon.
It was possible in Osaka.
It wasn't possible.
To be honest...
It was possible in Osaka.
You can go in like an idiot.
That's right.
You can go in like an idiot.
Can you say that?
That's a joke.
'suisuisui' is on top of it.
'suisuisuis' is on top of it.
I'll do it a little, but it's always like this.
The slipperyness of the viscera.
It's not viscera, it's viscera.
This is quite common in Osaka.
No, no, it's the same reaction in Osaka.
Don't think it's funny in Osaka, but it's exactly the same reaction in Osaka.
What is this?
We have no choice but to do it.
When you were young, did you have "hinadan" like that?
"Hinadan"?
I don't think we had "hinadan" like that.
"Hinadan" "dina"!
I don't think we had it.
He's trying to get it back.
Do you want it back?
We didn't have "hinadan" like that.
He's trying to get it back.
I'm trying to get it back.
Thank you, really.
Don't do that.
Stop it!
That's really bad.
Stop it!
What, what, what?
Like candy talking?
Candy isn't really that easy to do.
It's not easy even for you.
Have you been in a comedy show?
Cigar show.
Are you from Cigar county?
Yes, I am.
Are you from Cigar county?
Yes, I am.
Cigar county, right?
Thank you very much.
Cigar county, right?
Please don't do this.
You are so big.
Aren't we big?
You are so big.
What is this?
You have to do your best.
Thank you very much.
I will do my best.
I see.
I will do my best as you said.
I will do my best.
Thank you very much.
Wait a minute.
You look like a poop.
Why do you say that?
Next is this.
Even if you say that...
I'm so angry.
The environment has changed.
I haven't got pissed off because of that.
I get annoyed.
Am I friendly?
I get irritated easily.
Even if many comedy acts come,
I get irritated easily.
I forget to say my lines.
Was it dangerous?
It's dangerous.
It's very nerve-racking.
That's right.
I'm getting used to it.
I couldn't hear you.
You're biting me.
I couldn't bite you.
That's impossible.
I couldn't bite you.
You bit me too much and my rhythm went wrong.
I said the next joke and you bit me.
You really did it.
I'm scared.
I'm scared of you.
Why are you laughing?
You...
Why do you say the next joke? I'm scared of you.
You'll say it again, won't you?
You shouldn't say it.
I'm scared of you.
You shouldn't say it.
Please be careful.
I'm used to it.
I'm serious.
Please say you're serious.
I'll say it again.
Say you're serious.
Is there any honest joke?
If you eat a bento or something, no matter what you eat, you'll make the sound of the crunchy food.
That's annoying.
No matter what you eat, you'll make the sound of the crunchy food.
I'm sure there's something crunchy in there.
No way.
Crunchy, crunchy, crunchy.
Not all of it.
No way.
It's crunchy.
No way.
It's crunchy.
What can you eat?
No matter what you eat, you'll say, "Today's bento won't be crunchy, but you'll make the sound of it crunchy."
"What do you want me to eat?!" "Bring me a lunch box, will you?!"
If you become a cricket, you will definitely become one!
No! What's wrong with you, Kogumen? Why do you bring me lunch boxes?!
No matter what you eat, you will be called a cricket!
"You will be called a cricket, "ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka- ka"!"
You'll change, you pervert!
You're completely wrong!
"Cricket, "ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka"!"
You really...
You're annoying!
Oh, sorry!
"You'll become "koko-koko"!"
Like you usually eat it, I also got this one today.
It didn't have anything crunchy in it.
What was it? Whatever you eat, it's crunchy.
That's not it!
It's crunchy!
Yes, it's crunchy.
Look, it's eggplant.
I'll have eggplant.
I knew you wouldn't say it!
I definitely won't say it.
Please come closer!
What is this?
What are you going to do?
I'm saying it!
I'm not saying "korikori"
It's "karami" and "sessho"
Come closer!
"sessho" and "karami"
You weren't saying it, right?
I wasn't!
What? What? What?
Let me say it!
shiitake
Look! "korikori"
It's a little "korikori"
I'm saying "korikori"
I'm not saying "korikori" with "shiitake"
I know you're biting it, but you're saying "korikori"?
Yes
It's "korikori"!
Where is it?
Is it okay for me to die?
Well, I guess it's "yes"
What if it's "die"?
What if it's "yes"?
I got an "OK" today, but I can't say it anymore.
What?
I got an "OK" today, but I can't say it anymore.
Watch out!
What?
There's one more thing.
Oh, no, no.
You'll get in trouble.
Oh, um...
I want you to...
...stubbornly praise Mr. Downtown.
If you do this...
If you do this, you'll sell from tomorrow!
Do it!
If this gets on Yahoo's news, you'll sell from tomorrow!
It's simple!
I don't like it when you say it like that!
I don't like it!
If you say it like that, it'll get on Yahoo's news!
Mr. Downtown is praising you.
I don't like it!
I said it already.
No, it's...
It's...
The story is...
Yes?
The story is...
Yes?
The story of "die".
Have you seen it before?
No.
Why?!
Please watch it!
He's really angry!
Please watch it!
But I've seen it in a theater...
How was "die"?
Um...
It smelled like poop.
Even in a theater...
Scary!
Even in a theater, it smelled like poop.
Because it stinks?
No, no...
Because it stinks?
No, no...
It doesn't smell like poop for the audience.
It smelled like poop when it smelled like poop.
It's over.
What does it mean?
Does it mean you don't think about it?
No, no...
You're concerned about the smell, right?
Yes, I'm concerned about it.
It's really weird for me to say this myself...
Four or five years ago...
I said hello to Matsumoto-san...
Do you remember what Matsumoto-san said?
What?
I remember everything.
"Die" is like a manzai.
I saw it on YouTube.
It was funny!
Those words are everything.
Where? Where?
Please say hello before the show.
I remembered.
You looked like a poop at that time.
Thank you very much!
Go home! Go home!
Hurry up!
Poop!
Poop comedian!
Poop!