AISubs v3.5
In the first episode of "Useless Kids",
it's a calendar that you want to be held every month!
What's going on?
Well, this time, I'm going to try...
What's wrong?
You don't look well.
I'm not unwell.
As usual.
Have you been laughing lately?
I'm having fun.
What will you do if you can't record today?
I'll go home straight away.
Who's at home?
I have two children.
Good luck, dad.
I'm sorry, son.
I have to keep my clothes clean.
You have to keep your clothes clean.
You know, the old-fashioned divorcee.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
She got divorced.
You're crazy.
You know, the young girl...
I know, I know.
I know you love her.
I love you.
I divorced to do this.
This is unacceptable.
She got divorced.
You're crazy.
We'll be quiet for a while.
Shun!
I love you!
What's this?
What a show!
"The Young Man's Usefulness"!
Let me go back to my book.
On 365 days of the year,
what would you do
if you had a physical relationship with a different female celebrity every day?
It's like a dream.
Thank you.
You're asking this person?
I'm asking this person.
It's this person. Please come in.
Thank you!
Please come in.
So you asked Mr. Ikko and he made a calendar for you to hold on to for 365 days.
You want me to hold you?
I want you to hold me.
I'm not a man.
You're a man.
No, I'm not!
As a woman, I want to hold a man.
Today...
Huh?
How many times did you hit me with "gu"?
No, no! Stop it! How many times did I...
I'm not a man.
This is...
One woman and one man...
...just talking about men they want to be held.
This is a high-tech hotel!
It's one of the most expensive residential areas in Tokyo.
They visited Mr. Ikko's house at the top floor of a certain apartment.
- Huh? - An elevator?
- Wow! - Wow!
- Good morning! - Good morning!
- Nice to meet you! - Nice to meet you!
- Thank you for coming! - Thank you for coming!
- You're a busy man today. - You're right.
- You're a busy man. - You're a busy man.
At 5.30 in the morning, Mr. Ikko came to welcome Mr. Ikko.
- Yes! - Yes!
- He's a busy man. - He is.
- Here you go. - Wow!
- The ceiling is high and the living room is wide. - It's amazing!
- It's amazing, isn't it? - As much as Ikko wants.
He chose this place where he can relax the most to talk about the man he wants to hold.
- Here you go. - Thank you.
If you ask him about the man he wants to hold for the first time in a year, you'll get a lot of information.
How much time will it take?
It's a regular project that you can't miss out on.
- Since we're making Ikko's calendar that he wants to hold... - Yes.
- There's a lot of information in it. - Recently, I haven't been wanting to be held so much.
But in my 20s, 30s and 40s, I really wanted to be held.
- I hope I can remember it today. - I see.
Let's start with January as a sample of his calendar for next year.
Ikko-san, what kind of image do you have of January?
January... Well, it depends on who you want to be held by.
- What are you talking about? - I'm serious!
In January, I'll go out with the person I like.
In March and May, I'll go out with the person I like.
- It's like a school reunion. - That's right.
I've already decided.
This person is like a persimmon dye.
Even though it's like a persimmon dye, I won't let the man I want to hold hold me for the first time in a year.
- I see. - Yes. Do you understand?
- I don't know. - You don't know?!
We've been together for a year or so.
I suddenly thought of you, Mr. Hatori.
- What?! - Can you be a little more quiet?
- You found out?! - I found out.
- I went with you and even if we first met, you didn't have a bad impression of me. - You're so cute!
Since we became friends, you've started to play with me a little more.
I started to think you're a really nice guy and sexy.
So we asked you, Mr. Hatori, if you could come and see us before midnight on the 31st.
I don't know if it's okay to say it on TV, but you came to see us.
And when I woke up, it was a sunny morning.
With the sun rising, I felt like I was being hugged by an arm pillow.
What?!
The first guy Hatori wants to be hugged on the front is...
Yes, 4, 5, 6, 7...
- I'd like to switch to work mode. - Yes, that's right.
- When I switch to work mode... - I see.
Happy aura.
"Happy aura" this time.
- "Happy aura" is... - What are you saying?!
- "Happy aura" is... - "Happy aura" is...
- Mr. Sabe. - Mr. Sabe?
- When I was young... - What?!
When I used to do karate a little while ago...
When I was little...
I was told it was gross, and I went berserk.
And I got beaten up with you, Mr. Sabe.
When my body hit you, I thought you were just a fat person.
But you're actually thinner than you look.
Rather than a cushion, you're more like a hard mattress.
- I like that kind of feeling! - That's an example.
At night, you seem like you'd like me to meet you here.
I don't know what you're up to.
No, you have to watch this all the time.
It's only the fourth episode.
It's only the fourth episode!
What will you do someday?
Someday...
Well, it's a service show, so I'm in a relaxed mode.
I've been thinking about going with this feeling for a long time, but...
After all, my little boy is tingling.
Do you know?
My little boy is tingling again.
I want an adult's sexy voice.
When I hear my little boy's voice, it's a little...
Well...
Someone who makes me feel like I'm going to feel sick.
The person who sang "sachiko".
rick misa.
I'm thrilled by this voice.
A band that was active in the 1980s, rick misa.
One, that song.
Tanaka's voice is said to be irresistible.
That's fine, but...
Maybe...
I've been playing with him a lot.
I'm sure I've been playing with him a lot.
I think I was playing with him at night.
That's the kind of guy I am.
It's coming in from my voice.
Yes.
Oh, I want to be embraced by this person.
Voice is important.
When I get a call with this body sensation,
I inevitably go there.
Maybe I'm one of the men.
Pulled.
Stop that angle!
It's already decided for 8 o'clock.
Oh, is it an adult day at 8 o'clock?
Kendo Kobayashi-san.
This is not surprising.
It works quite well.
It's erotic and a little abnormal.
In that sense,
I wonder who will be the first adult on an adult day.
I think it's enough for men's function.
I see.
As for this "kuki",
it's more erotic to be "kuki" than "kuki" with strong muscles.
I think so recently.
As I get older,
I don't want anything new.
I want to be embraced by a little old "kuki" on an adult day.
I see.
Don't forget it's important.
"Kuki" is important.
What else?
Well...
From 9 o'clock to 19 days.
It's long, isn't it?
I change my mind.
I see.
No, I can't.
I can't date a man only for this.
If I run only for such physical things,
I can't be a woman.
In that sense,
Azumi-san.
I used to go to Esthenia with him.
I wore a gown and so did Azumi-san.
We went fishing.
When we looked at each other, we could see our chest hair.
I don't know about technique,
but I'd like to show my technique in camouflage and eroticism.
I'd like to show my technique in camouflage and eroticism.
Don't change your channel!
You don't have to be hugged by someone every day.
You don't have to do it every day.
Me? I used to be able to do it.
I used to be a bad person without a man.
When I was in my 20s, I went to Saipan for work.
I went there with someone I liked and went there about three times a month.
At the tax office, they asked me, "You came again?"
I was so passionate about it that I thought they were doing a show.
When my body came out, I grabbed it tight and looked at it carefully.
I was so passionate about it that I couldn't get it out of me.
My body was all I had and I couldn't get it out of me.
When my eyes came out again, I dropped the flute one more time and played it in second.
I want to see you again.
Next is...
There you are.
Who is it?
Mr. Hamada.
It's not like I'm being careful because it's January.
People call me "zuba-zuba", but I'm a little gentle.
And then the word "zuba" hits me in the chest.
Mr. Hamada sits in front of me and says something like Abazure.
In a way, Mr. Hamada has an image of being at home.
So let me know what you like at home.
Is it yakisoba?
Do you like yakisoba?
I like hamburgers and yakisoba.
Then I make this on Amazon.
Curry, gratin and a mix of millefeuille and doria.
I don't know what you're talking about.
There's an apple pie in there.
High quality apple pie is no good.
I take that apple pie from Yamazaki Bay and put it on a plate.
I cut only the surface and stir-fry it with bread crumbs, garlic and butter.
From now on, the recipe for doria is delicious and popular for seven minutes.
You look happy.
This is mine.
Next time, if you get a stomachache and want to stay here for another day...
I see.
I didn't say it.
If you get a stomachache and want to stay here for another day...
If you want to eat something, please stay here.
One hour and forty-five minutes and January ends.
Shimura's choice for his 20th birthday.
Don't mind me.
I feel like I'm going to do everything myself.
You always watch over me while I'm drunk.
You say, "It's okay, you don't have to worry about it."
You're kind and sometimes look at me.
It's important for my birthday.
What would we do if we weren't loved for a lifetime?
You're a youkai shakufui.
February continues and decides from February 3rd.
There are times when I want to say "you're too much" to my heart and back of my mind.
You know what I mean?
I don't want to say it, but I don't want to say it now.
That spirit is Kato Goji.
I've known Kato-san for a long time.
I feel like I'm going to be slimy.
He's a little like me in the past.
I feel like Kato-san is really good at "butterfly".
"Butterfly"?
I feel like I'm going to go smoothly like this.
I feel like I'm going to go like this.
Do you know what I mean?
I don't know.
Do you know what I mean?
I'm asking you again and again, but I don't know what you're talking about.
If you can't understand it, we can't move forward in conversation.
That's right.
Do you know what I mean?
Kato-san's heart is very delicate.
Speaking of winter scenery, I love it.
I want to go to my villa with someone.
Harada Taizo-san.
You're pretty good at acting.
I can't see children, but I can feel at home as much as I can't see children.
Excuse me.
Bring me Peko.
This is my baby.
It's cute, isn't it?
It's already five years old.
Even though my husband is holding it, it's crying a lot.
While listening to the scenery of Karizan with Mr. Taito,
While listening only to the music,
My villa is nothing in front of me.
In the mountains, in the river, in this house.
What are you showing me?
On March 1st, the Hina Festival will be held.
Who will you celebrate it with?
I'm about to die.
Why are you about to die?
After February, the first step is body maintenance.
You changed into pink clothes.
Yes.
As I get older, I like clothes with beautiful colors.
You look like Thunderbird.
Three days a week, I go to the clinic in Ginza.
Thank you.
Today's menu is a high concentration of vitamin C, which maintains health and improves skin effect.
And aromatherapy, which enhances relaxation effect.
If you don't take care of yourself, you'll look like me.
In the meantime, let's listen to the man who will celebrate March 1st.
On March 1st, the Hina Festival will be held.
Who will you celebrate it with?
I'm about to die.
Why are you about to die?
Mr. Sakagami.
How will you celebrate it?
Mr. Sakagami?
Yes.
You know Ms. Shisuke, right?
Yes.
She's been taking care of me ever since I was a hexagon.
She repeated "the variety show" for me many times.
It's been a while.
It was more than ten years ago.
I was able to watch it.
You don't even have to say it.
She's a wonderful person.
She really likes me.
You're talking about yourself.
Sometimes I feel lonely.
I like that kind of man.
Did you feel good?
Yeah, I felt good.
But I was talking for a long time, so it didn't make sense.
I was talking for a long time, but I could only smell it, and I didn't know what was good or bad.
Finally, three months are over.
At the end of January, they will choose Hamada again for March's White Day.
This is what happened on the day.
On the day of the White Day, Hamada will send a cookie deliveryman.
Hamada will serve handmade yakisoba.
Hamada was a little excited, and he invited Hamada to take a bath.
Hamada was embarrassed, but he took a bath with Hamada.
March 14th, March 14th.
You idiot!
This is the White Day.
It's rare for an old man like you.
I want you to sing "Itosho no Eri" in my ear.
Yes, yes.
An old man like you is cute.
Like a little boy.
Once, when I went out, he said, "I think I caught a cold."
If you caught a cold, you should take medicine.
No, I don't take cold medicine.
He said like that.
I don't know which is you.
What I said now.
After maintenance, he changed into a kimono again.
He had a late lunch with a beauty writer, Akiba.
Six and a half hours from the beginning.
He went back home and asked the man he wanted to hug in April.
Six and a half hours from the beginning, he went back home and asked the man he wanted to hug in April.
Yes, if you don't do it soon, the cherry blossoms will fall.
The person who makes me have a lot of fun at the party on the third day is Mr. Jinnai.
Mr. Tomodori.
I love Mr. Jinnai.
He puts in a lot of things for me, but I feel a lot of love.
I was looking at the cherry blossoms on Chidorigafuchi with me.
When I was getting along with Mr. Jinnai, I saw a man who said something over there.
It's Mr. Fujimon.
I was going to kiss Mr. Jinnai and go all in as soon as I did.
I don't know why, but I noticed that I was drunk and fell asleep with Mr. Fujimon.
What did you say?
Why did you say that?
As usual, he mixes his delusions and doesn't hesitate to ask Mr. Fujimon a question that makes him want to hug him.
Mr. Fujimon, you've never met a woman you've been in love with since you were born, have you?
When I was in high school, I had a girl I liked only once.
But I found out that I had more friends and best friends than I was used to.
When I was in high school, I thought that if I worked hard, I would fall in love with a woman.
But I can't come out anymore.
That's one of my good memories.
Let's go our separate ways.
You only have one sister, right?
That's why I always thought I was a woman.
No matter what people say, my body is getting more and more hairy.
That's what I thought when I first saw you.
That's why I started shaving my head and hair when I was in elementary school.
You've been in love since you were little.
When I was little, I wanted to be hugged when I was in first grade.
I didn't feel anything when I was hugged. I was a woman.
Because I wasn't a woman, I had a very strong desire.
A desire to be hugged.
This is not a cause.
Such a desire to be hugged.
Even now, when he is 55 years old.
Back to the subject.
Next is June's "I want to be hugged man".
I wanted to be a durable woman.
But when I turn on the TV, good men come out.
I forgot my father's name.
17 days.
I went shopping.
Summer is about to begin.
The brand was buying clothes.
Over there.
Have you seen him somewhere?
Who?
Mr. Nishijima.
Good morning.
I went out for tea.
While drinking tea, I fell in love with Mr. Nishijima.
I was going to drink tea, but I followed him home.
After that, I stopped drinking.
In front of me is Mr. Nishijima.
For this person, my heart is devoted to everything.
Mitsugu...
That's serious.
7 and a half hours from the start.
Ikkou still has plenty of stamina.
"I want you to hold me" calendar.
Finally, it's the first half of April.
Ikkou's "I want you to hold me" calendar.
From April to June, as you can see...
At the end of April, there will be a change from Jinmai to Fujimon.
From April 27th, Fujimon will come again.
Fujimon will come again to make trouble.
Even Fujimon who comes to make trouble will do it.
If you say "I will do it", I will look like a bad guy, right?
But...
No one will think like that!
Even Sasuma-san will think like that.
I won't do it.
Take it away.
I will win.
Next week, "I want you to hold me" calendar will be completed.
With the passage of time...
Ikkou will change into a bad guy.
I will make it perfectly on October 20th.
You are a Thai boxer, right?
Thai boxer!
Don't misunderstand me.
I came this far...
I just want you to look like me.
Yes.