AISubs v3.5
Ladies and gentlemen...
Yes, today is September 7th, and it's exactly tomorrow.
It's exactly tomorrow for you, too.
It's your birthday.
51 years old.
How do you spend your birthday every year?
Miyasako does it for me.
I don't know why, but Miyasako has been doing it for me for years.
But I don't need a gift.
Everyone just comes to the party without permission.
They decorate me with money.
You've only been out every day, haven't you?
It's like I bought it at a 100-yen shop.
I only had this.
It was terrible.
I don't think I'll do that this year.
There are only entertainers and ten people.
Don't you do it with your family?
I do it with my family, but I don't do it at home.
I don't do it at home.
Happy birthday to you.
I don't do it at home.
I do it with you.
What?
I do it with you.
What are you talking about?
Why are you fighting like that?
What do you do at home?
I do it with you.
What do you do at home?
I do it with you.
What do you do at home?
I bake cakes for my kids.
What should I say first?
What do you do when you get home on your birthday?
What do you say when you get home?
Where do you start talking?
You can start talking.
Don't you wear shorts?
What's wrong with you?
Don't you wear shorts?
I do wear shorts.
Why you have to talk when you're sleepy?
The house is in dark.
It's normal.
It's not limited to work. I've been working since I woke up.
Right?
I see.
It's fine if you come back.
I don't really come back.
So it's September 8th.
Do you work on September 8th?
It's September 7th.
The day before?
So it's past 12 o'clock and it's pitch black.
It's a bit past 12 o'clock.
But when it's past 12 o'clock, Yuta's daughter is four years old and sleeping.
His daughter is wearing short sleeves.
I sometimes wear short sleeves, but I'm wearing short sleeves.
I'm wearing short sleeves, but I don't have short sleeves or short sleeves.
What do you want to say?
I don't know what you want to say.
It's not a big cake, and it's not a big gift.
You'll say "papa" and give me a lot of things, won't you?
It's like a cookie.
I don't know if it's a cookie or a cake.
It's like a cookie or a cake.
I hear you two are eating together.
We shop together often.
You admire her, don't you?
It's not like that.
They are four years old and sleeping.
Do you guys eat together, then?
I wonder if that's the case.
Oh ho ho ho!
I'm saying this with pride!
- That's good. - Good one.
- Stop mocking me! - I'm just...
It's fine, but this kind of story is not funny!
- I'm sorry. I have não hearing you. - But you...
You know, I'm always like this.
This birthday is not funny at all.
You are dirty.
You are especially dirty.
You don't talk about your family at all.
But you try to ask me a lot of questions.
You are dirty.
No, no, no.
He is really dirty.
I don't want to hear it. I want you to hear it.
You definitely want me to hear it.
Why?
You have a big son and you want me to hear it.
No, no, no.
You have a big son and you want me to hear it.
What does your son look like?
What does your son look like recently?
Do you want me to hear it?
Your son looks like...
Oh, my head! Oh, my head! Oh, my head! Oh, my head!
So I got scared and went into my room.
And I was like, "What should I do? What should I do?"
And I was like, "Neo, neo, neo."
You have a nice voice.
I love you.
Speaking of summer, let's talk about talking about stairs.
Is there anyone in Yoshimoto who can talk about stairs?
There are a lot of people who can talk about stairs.
Hello!
I know you.
Hello, I'm Nakatari of Potato Boys.
Nice to meet you.
I don't have a strong sense of honor.
I brought my experience and stories of stairs I heard.
I wanted you to listen to it, so I brought it today.
Your face is like that.
You look like Shigeru Mizuki.
Let's listen to it.
It's not good to respond like that.
You say that a lot.
Please.
This is my only experience.
I'm from Osaka.
My mother's grandmother lives in Hyogo Prefecture.
One day, my grandmother got a woodcutter's axe from somewhere.
The woodcutter got an axe from above his head and came back.
I was wondering where my grandmother lives.
Her house is on the first floor of an old wooden apartment building.
There is an entrance, a door, and a bedroom.
There was a large paper shelf in the door.
I thought it would be good here.
I put it there and put my gifts there.
I thought it would be good here.
After a while, bad things started to happen to my mother's family.
My uncle suddenly had a car accident.
The company my grandmother worked for suddenly went bankrupt.
My grandmother also fell ill and fell asleep.
I was in middle school and it was summer vacation.
I went to see a doctor.
I saw a doctor and made my grandmother sleep.
I put a blanket next to my grandmother and slept like this.
After a while, I heard a sound.
I opened my eyes and wondered what the sound was.
There was a window in my head.
It was an old apartment building and the glass was thin.
Even if I blew a little wind, I heard a sound.
I thought I shouldn't worry about it and closed my eyes again.
I heard a loud sound.
I wondered if it was a strong wind.
The first floor was transparent and there was a kadan outside.
I looked at the leaves and they weren't shaking.
I thought it wasn't a wind and it felt weird.
I woke up and went to the bathroom.
The bathroom had a window about my face's width.
When I entered the bathroom, I thought it was open, but I didn't care and opened my eyes.
I felt something from there.
When I shook my head, I saw someone peeking out of an open space like this.
Is someone peeking out of the window?
But that's not the case.
Outside of the window is a warehouse, so there is only a gap of about 20 cm and no one can enter.
When I tried to get out of the bathroom because it felt weird, I heard someone saying something like "ah ah ah ah"
"ah ah ah ah" "head! head! head! head!"
I got scared and went into the blanket and heard a loud sound from where I was.
After that, I couldn't see my grandmother.
When I woke up and turned on the light, I saw that my grandmother, who was lying on her bed, was hit on the floor and broken from here.
The next day, my grandmother came and told me, "This seems like a really natural thing, but please don't do it with God and Buddha.
We're not on good terms, and we'll fight. That's why something bad happened to you.
If you do this again and again, you may lose your life next time."
I have a bad feeling about this.
Bad feeling?
Come on, get out of my way!
Scary, isn't it?
Scary.
Endo, you've heard of it, right?
I've never heard of it.
Me neither.
I've never heard of it, so I don't know about it.
It's a psychic phenomenon.
You've never heard of it, right?
No, I haven't.
But I saw it once when I was about 21 years old.
I was about to go to bed and I saw a chain.
I know about chains.
But my body was moving on its own.
When I saw the chain move like this, I'm sure I'm not mistaken,
but I saw a kid playing with it.
So I went to Mr. Hosey.
You're quite serious.
So I went to Mr. Hosey.
Yes, yes, you came in the middle of the night.
So I called Mr. Hosey and said, "Excuse me, but could you stop?"
I had money and I was about to change trains.
But I saw a train going in front of me.
I was scared, so I walked for about an hour.
I felt like I had that feeling all the time.
I went to Mr. Hosey.
I said I'd clean it up with salt.
But there wasn't any salt.
There wasn't.
There wasn't?!
There wasn't any salt.
There's something like a salt shell, but it's okay.
I said, "There's no salt, so wait a minute."
From my head...
I was told that.
But there really was something like that.
But it didn't come out of it.
It didn't come out of it.
Why didn't you say that?
It came out of the wall, didn't it?
That's a different story.
It came out of the wall...
That's nonsense!
If you say that, I'll cut you up!
No, no, you won't!
You won't!
I'm scared!
You won't cut me up!
You won't!
I'll cut you up!
You won't!
It came out of the wall.
Do you know about Fujiwara?
Which Fujiwara are you talking about?
Do you know about Fujiwara's license?
What was it again?
No, the license...
Didn't you say there was a salt shell?
There's a salt shell...
Stop talking nonsense!
I'm sorry.
Why are you selling Japanese people?
Japanese people?
Yes, me...
Did you see it?
Can you see it?
I can't see it.
I can't see it, but...
I think there are people who have salt shells.
I was told that, but this is what I said when I left Osaka.
I'm from Nara and when I live in Osaka, I decide a room, of course.
One of them was about 60,000 yen, but I decided to go around another real estate shop alone.
One of them is decided, so I said, "I don't like all of them at the real estate shop, I don't like them all, I want something else."
A different one came out of the money and I said, "This is the last one."
It's 38,000 yen.
Osaka, south, Motomachi, and 38,000 yen.
"Isn't it very cheap?" "Why is it so cheap?" "The shower is a little bad."
"Can I go and see it?" I said.
It's a single-room apartment type with thick walls. It's a proper apartment.
"Wow, it's cool." I thought, and I started living there.
When I started living there, the shower was good at all, and I thought, "I'm very lucky."
It's 38,000 yen, so you can go to the theater right away.
I lived there for a while.
One day, in the summer, when I was sleeping in the cold, the TV magazine on the table turned over.
I thought it was just my imagination, so I was sleeping normally.
The next day, when I was sleeping, the TV turned on.
And I had a remote control here, so I was lying down.
So I was lying down and thinking about something.
The next day, the shower was behind the pillow I was lying down on.
And someone came in and took a shower.
But I didn't like it at all.
At one point, there was a drinking party.
I was drinking there.
It was close to Fujiwara's house, so I went there.
There was a girl, too.
I came back to my house.
Everyone was coming, but only one girl was coming.
She said, "I won't stay in this apartment."
Wait a minute.
"Do you have a cold medicine?" I asked.
I had a cold medicine.
I don't want to stay in this apartment.
No, no, no. Come on in.
I wanted to see something scary, too.
So I took her to my room.
When I opened my room, it was a one-room apartment, so I could see everything.
"Wow!" she said.
"What's in there?" I asked.
It's a square room, so it's easier to see the TV.
She put a rack diagonally and put it in the middle of the room.
I always watched TV from the opposite diagonal line, so it was easier to see.
She said, "A woman is standing in the triangle space between the rack and the TV."
Why is a woman standing there?
No, it's my feeling, but a woman who committed suicide by her boyfriend thinks you are her boyfriend and follows you and stands there.
Why are you standing there?
No, if you stand behind the TV here, you stand behind it because it's the angle you look at me the most.
If you stand there, you'll always look at me.
Wow, come on!
And I decided to move right away.
And the woman next to me did it.
And I told her, "No, I'm going to move. It was disgusting. It's like this and like that."
And she said, "What? You didn't know?"
No, there are actually two people who commit suicide in this apartment.
One of them hit the veranda of your room and died.
Oh, that's serious.
It's not over at all.
What?
I want to continue what we were talking about earlier.
The other day?
No, a little while ago, last week.
Last week, you know Jinnai, right?
Yes.
Jinnai.
Jinnai and I were having lunch together.
I'm a lunch actor.
Sometimes I do it.
It seems like you're being asked to do it.
He's a terrible junior.
I've never talked to him before.
We eat together.
Well, that's fine.
Jinnai, you know, you ask me what I'm doing later.
Because it's lunch.
Well, I'm doing a location shoot later.
What kind of location?
Well, it used to be very popular.
It's the second one.
I moved in.
Well, it's a little out of town.
It's a little far away.
Well, I can't clean it up.
Well, there's an old man who lives in a garbage house.
Well, that old man.
He lives in a dirty house that doesn't even have a footstep.
Well, I don't know if he bought a blue grand prize or not.
But in the meantime, he let it go.
Sometimes you can see it through the garbage.
Sometimes it's there.
It's definitely in the house.
I don't know where it is.
Anyway, I'm going to clean it up.
I'm going to do a location shoot now.
At that time, it was about 37 degrees even in Tokyo.
Because it's midsummer.
Well, it takes about two hours by car from here.
And I don't know when the location shoot will end.
Well, it's not in Jinnai.
After all, there is no cooler.
It's already sweaty.
There are also parasites.
There are also a lot of evil beasts.
Crabs are also stabbed.
I don't know if I'll be bitten by a poor audience.
Well, I don't know when it will end.
If it's sweaty and the location shoot is over.
First of all, there is another different program.
I have to go.
I'm sorry, but if I go to that location,
It was a restaurant in Roppongi Hills.
If I go to that location,
it's better to eat poop in this air-conditioned room.
Then...
No, it's not like that.
Definitely not.
It's definitely better not to say it.
There's nothing good about it.
Mr. Hamamatsu, I'm telling you for real.
For real!
This story was made public last week.
You guys know about it?
Yes, we know about it.
If you tell me about something like this, it's better not to say it.
That's right.
That's right, Mr. Matsumoto.
They say you've been eating shit for a long time.
That's right.
You're carrying a cross.
You've been eating shit for a long time.
You'll be disqualified.
I'll make that into a story.
I ate shit in Roppongi Hills.
Then it's fine.
Then it's fine!
But you guys eat shit, don't you?
You guys are persuading me to eat shit.
That's right!
We know about it.
Tell me about it!
We know about it!
I'm not saying it!
If you feel like doing it, then no.
But you can't.
You can't, right? No matter what it'll be like.
No matter what it'll be like.
Are we sure you won't do it?
Can you do a filming with Mr. Matsumoto's shit eating?
While being eaten?
Should we do it?
Do we do filming?
We're trying to go back as soon as we come back!
Why do you want to go home as soon as you walk up Taikoyama Hill?
It's too messy and you can't film for 10 hours.
Go home as soon as you can.
I can't stand you!
No, no, no, that's...
Wow, as expected of you.
That's not good.
I have a job where I have to work hard until the end of the year.
If you want to live here, you have to go to Unpasu.
I go there about three times a year.
I can't laugh at you, but I want you to go to Unpasu.
What is Unpasu?
But you can eat there, can't you?
You have that kind of feeling, don't you?
You can eat there, can't you?
That's amazing, isn't it?
Where do you want to go?
No, maybe...
Isn't it Iteharen?
For example, you take a questionnaire from an entertainer and...
This and this...
Yes, yes, yes.
You can choose which one you want.
Entertainer?
No, as a person...
Bungee jumping is...
Eating is better than eating.
Yes, yes, yes.
Which do you want to do? Bungee jumping or me?
I'll jump if you do that.
Culture shock!
Will you eat it?
Of course not!
I'll never eat it!
I want you to eat it!
I'm serious!
Can we eat it if we do bungee jumping?
That's a little different.
The other day, I went to a softbank shop and saw a robot that was talked about in commercials. Pepper was talking to me.
I was impressed that we could have a smooth conversation, but I was surprised that you also spoke quickly.
If you have a chance, please give it a try.
From the pen name "Tamago Kake Taro".
Pepper, what the staff asked you about is coming to the studio today.
I've never seen it before.
It's huge!
It's bigger than I thought it would be.
Did you make it by yourself?
No, I didn't.
Does that mean you can talk to each other?
Did you make it by yourself?
Yes, I did.
Did you make it by yourself?
I don't know if I made it by myself or not.
Pepper, a personal robot that recognizes people's emotions and can have a conversation for the first time in the world.
Pepper, which is scheduled for general release in February of next year, and Pepper, who are talked about now, will make first contact tonight!
Pepper is amazing.
If you don't mind, would you like to take a softbank recruitment interview?
She likes it and wants to meet her.
What is this?
Well, well, I'm not good at it.
You can't take it for free.
Then I will start the interview now.
She's looking at you.
How old are you?
She's looking at you.
Amu-san.
Me?
Yes.
She recognizes you.
I'm 51 years old.
I couldn't hear you well. Can you say it again?
I'm 51 years old.
You have a really good voice. I like it.
Please say "I'm signing a new contract" this time.
I'm signing a new contract.
Just kidding.
Nice voice.
What are you doing?
It's a joke.
Don't do it.
It's a joke.
Are you surprised?
It sounded like plastic.
I'm sorry, Pepper.
Nice voice.
What are you doing?