AISubs v3.5
Tonight, I have a bad feeling about this.
The first episode of "Gaki no Tsukai Arahende!"
Matsuko completely produces!
Can she become a deluxe member?
Karta battle!
Kato-san, this is the third episode.
Yes, yes.
This is Matsuko.
Right!
What do you think of Matsuko's live performance?
It's pretty close.
Matsuko and Koyabu are big.
I think so, too.
We shouldn't laugh.
That's right.
We don't look at it seriously.
Columnist Matsuko Deluxe!
Gaki no Tsukai Arahende!
How I feel doesn't matter.
He seems abnormal in this episode.
However...
No one should know about me.
"With "downtown" apart...
...they come out nearly once a year.
And tonight, we have Ai and Mamiel.
And now, let's welcome Matsuko Deluxe!
She definitely has a presence.
Matsuko, it's dangerous here.
If you fly, you'll be in danger.
She's amazing.
She's amazing, Matsuko Deluxe.
Look at this.
This is Matryoshka's last...
His last beginning!
This is my first time here.
She definitely has a presence.
Matsuko, it's dangerous here.
Why did you come here? You're a carter, aren't you?
Well...
It's scary to come here once a year.
What do you mean, once a year?
Well, you know...
It's like...
It's like... If you come here once in half a year...
Yes, yes.
I think you'll laugh at me.
You're making things up from now on.
That's right.
That's why I asked the staff to let me come here once in the rainy season.
That's right.
You only come here once a year.
That's right.
And you don't even talk to me.
That's right.
Wow, it's Matsuko!
That's right.
And now, our guest is...
Matsuko.
It's your first time here, isn't it?
Yes.
Could you announce it for us?
Sure.
What is it, Matsuko?
Well...
What is it?
Please go skydiving with me.
Go skydiving with you?
I've said it many times before...
Yes?
I'm really a norovirus.
What?
Really?
It's not a norovirus anymore.
No, let's leave it at that.
I don't want you to say that the one with the most wins every week.
No, that's a rule.
What kind of rule is that?
There's no point in making it a rule, is there?
No, it's fine if Sora-chan decides it first.
Ah, yes, yes, yes.
Then we'll do various things and deduct points.
That's right, we can deduct points.
That's fine too.
You decide it first, right?
Yes.
Hey, your hair is losing volume.
It's hard, isn't it?
It's true.
I'll talk to Kosei-san about it.
Doesn't it look a little weird?
No, it doesn't look weird at all.
Here you go, Matsuko-san.
Wow!
It's so low!
Did it become like this?!
What is it? Is it really worn out?
No, I'll do anything! I'll do anything!
No, I don't have confidence in you laughing at me with onigiri anymore!
Stop laughing at me with onigiri!
The card battle.
Matsuko will decide all of the points herself.
The Skytree Date is waiting for the two of them to reunite.
Yes, understood!
That's fine.
Yes, yes.
Endo, you haven't seen it yet?
I haven't seen it!
Why do you hate punishment so much?
No, it's not like that.
If you say it like that...
When I first heard it, I thought it wasn't a punishment.
No, I thought it was too.
It's not true, is it?
Then both of you will get zero points!
No, no, no!
No, you too!
What's wrong with you?
It's already started!
But this volume is already zero points.
Wait, show me again!
One more time!
Yes, Sanpo.
Yes, zero points.
Zero points!
It can't be helped!
Zero points!
Thank you!
Be careful!
Yes, understood!
Let's do our best!
Here we go!
Impossible! There's something you can't eat even if you're fat.
What's that? What's there?
That's a good way of taking it.
It's more like a funny joke than a funny joke.
Does it mean you can't eat anything?
Not only you can't eat anything, but you can't eat beef or pork.
What?!
It's like you're eating a lot of yakiniku.
Not at all.
What?!
You're eating a lot of meat, so you're like this.
Then what's your body made of?
This is carbohydrate.
You know, there are people who can't eat okonomiyaki and side dishes.
But it's not strange at all.
If you only had carbohydrates like that...
You eat a lot of rice, don't you?
What are you talking about?!
You shouldn't have said that!
What?
What was that?
What do you mean "you shouldn't have said that"?
You shouldn't have said that!
Here I go.
Even if you don't have any real friends, you won't be sad.
That was a little fast, wasn't it?
The "benben" thing.
Oh, yeah.
I thought it was really fast.
It was fast, it was fast.
It started moving.
Well, you need to be aggressive about it, too.
But it's "benben", so it's okay.
No, I was like "what?" to this sentence, you know?
You know, it's better to have friends like that.
But no one has any friends from the past.
What do you mean, "no one"?
I mean, you don't have any childhood friends around you.
Not only childhood friends, but also people from five or six years ago are not around you.
So you're not the type of person who's very aggressive about going somewhere?
I wouldn't say that, but...
You'd wait until you're invited?
I don't get invited that much, either.
Endo...
What? What's wrong?
Wait a minute...
That's a conversation, you know?
You're in such a bad mood!
Yeah, I'm in a bad mood every day.
So, you know...
Oh, this guy's in a bad mood.
It's negative, but it's bad.
No...
I'm listening to you, you know?
Even if you don't have any childhood friends around you...
I know you're in a bad mood.
I'm telling you again!
So...
I think you should be nice to people.
Even if you don't have any childhood friends around you...
I think you should be nice to people.
Even if you don't have any childhood friends around you...
Do you want to go, Sky-3?
Huh?
Do you want to go?
Of course I want to go.
You know, I'm probably the only one...
who exchanges email addresses here.
What?!
I get contacted from time to time.
You do?
But...
I don't get messages like...
Don't step in too much.
That's sad!
If that's the case...
I've only talked about work.
Even if I say something nasty...
I only talk about work.
I see.
I've never done that.
Go back home.
I don't know how respectable he is.
I have no idea.
Go home!
It's different from the beginning. We can't go in.
Really? Let's go eat.
You can't go in?
I can't go in from now on.
You can't go in?
Because Endo is accepting it and Taisei is fine.
Gensu and Ikeru are fine.
Tsutsu and Ikeru are fine.
Really?
Ikeru!
It's not like that.
Here we go.
The producer of "Emochiwarui Shusse Inochi".
I'm the happiest.
Why are you so happy?
I'm happy as a cartoonist.
It has nothing to do with me.
It's weird.
I didn't know you were here.
It's weird that you're acting here.
It's fine.
You look happy.
It's not funny.
What is this about?
It's like this.
It's easy to understand and weird.
At first, we all thought it would be natural for us to disappear like this.
We were going to use it now.
Even if you have it, if you don't use it and are kind to me, I will listen to you for the rest of my life.
Some of you worked hard and gave me something I didn't have.
I'm not sure if I should say "huh" or "well, you're a leader anyway," but suddenly, "Matsuko- chan," like that.
No, no, is Matsuko a leader?
Huh? What's that?
No, I don't know that category.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Who is she in the same box with?
What's that thing she pulled out?
Where should I open it?
Is it different from Chris?
No, it's big!
As a shelf, it's the same as Chris's.
Oh, it's Chris's.
But even among them, Chris's is like an old Japanese poem.
It's in a small box.
That's why it's different.
It's complicated.
It's the same as Matsuko-chan's.
It's the same, it's the same.
There's a lot of things.
Yeah, there is.
How about Mitch?
A little bit of Mitch's is more New Half-like.
I see.
He sometimes says he wants to put boobs on her.
Huh?
Oh, I see.
It's fine for me.
It's not like I want to be a woman.
It's fine for me to be a man, but...
Matsuko, which one do you want?
Do you want to be held?
That's why I don't have a choice anymore.
Huh?
For example, when I ask Matsuko-san for a favor,
Matsuko-san doesn't want me to do anything at all.
Well, if you ask me, what would Matsuko-san do?
No, I'm just asking you for advice.
What do you want me to do?
It's not like I want you to do anything at all.
Would you like me to do it for you?
No, I'm fine with doing anything for you.
I'll do anything for you.
No, no, wait...
Right, right.
Either or, I can't leave it to you.
So, say it when you're really fed up with anything.
I know, I know.
That's great.
Let's do it.
"Shibireta" is Mr. Idiot's studio.
Oh, I see. He's gone to Mr. Idiot.
What's up!?
He made a terrible voice. Did you go to Mr. Idiot?
I went to Mr. Idiot and...
I mean...
Comedians are a little different.
There are many actresses, actors and singers.
But they don't scare me at all.
They say "Oh, you're beautiful" or "You sing well", but...
Comedians are scary.
I was scared today, too.
You can't say that!
You're scared of me, aren't you?
What!?
You're scared of me, aren't you?
Why do you say that?
No, no, no.
You're scared of me, aren't you?
No, I'm scared of you.
I'm not scared of you!
I'm not scared of you at all!
I was scared of you at first, but you're very kind to me now.
You're very kind to me even though I can't see you.
What's that!?
You're very kind to me even though I can't see you.
What's that!?
Anyway, Mr. Shima...
Mr. Shima...
Mr. Idiot's generation...
They started seeing each other a few years after they had a bit of courage.
Mr. Shima...
He's been doing comedy on TV since he got his courage.
I don't know what to say, and I wasn't that scared of him.
When I wore this after a long time, I didn't like it, either.
I don't have it anymore, but I still have it.
I still think it's me.
When I look behind my ears, I think it's me.
I don't know it at all.
It's me.
Here we go.
"Fucking vulgar." "I hate Minato-ku's Chiba."
You know, especially around Tengenji intersection,
A woman in her 30s, wearing heels like this and sunglasses like this,
and taking her like this...
What is "chiba" to them? It's an item.
I see. They don't like that kind of thing.
They don't like wearing it as a comission.
Also, on Aoyama-dori, a woman walking with her half-child.
Is that true?
No, it's not like her half-child is bad.
It's like she's telling her half-child...
I'm cool.
My husband is Anglo-saxon.
And she's making her half-child wear it.
She's like, "Look at me." She's not even interested in it.
She's not even interested in it.
She's not even interested in it, but she's making her half-child wear it.
An engine started in a weird place.
Who will be punished?
A free-for-all card battle.
It's kind of boring.
I don't want to see you for the rest of my life.
Nakamori Akina.
What you're saying and what you're doing are completely different.
It's completely different.
I don't care anymore. I don't want to wear it, either.
It's completely different.
She didn't have any plans of appearing on TV.
She wanted to stay as she was.
There were quite a lot of things going on.
Yes, I had a lot of things going on.
I just want Akira to stay in my dream.
I want to hit him. I want to hit him once.
That's a scary dream.
Are you going to hit me now?
I want to hit him.
I'm not interested in this.
I won't say it clearly.
What he's saying is a little...
No, no. He says something like "Okama, die."
Really.
If I told you "die," you could have returned it at that temperature.
We didn't do anything to him.
Why do you say that?
We have no choice but to hit him.
After 15 hits, the results are as you can see.
This is also just a guideline.
There is a possibility of punishment for everyone.
I'll start.
Manager, put in more and more work.
Do you want to do a lot of work?
Yes!
Are you serious?
You should have answered the question that was here.
Do you want to take a break?
I don't know what to do on my day off.
I need your advice.
What should I do?
Your private time?
Yes.
I think it's best to make a boyfriend.
Or rather, make a partner.
Why am I the only one laughing in the studio?
I think it's best to make your private life fulfilling.
How about going golfing with Hamada-san?
You can't go golfing, can you?
I'm interested in golfing now.
Really?
I'm pretty good at it.
Will you be nice to me?
He's nice at golf.
I'm not good at golf.
What do you mean?
No, it's not like that.
Matsuko, are you an S or an M?
I like both.
You can't change depending on your partner.
I like both.
It's easier for me if you make it clear which one you like.
You'll let me choose, right?
Yes, yes.
Even if you say you like Hamada-san, you'll know for sure.
So you can say you're an M.
Even if you say you like Hamada-san, you're not a selfish M who only wants your own pleasure.
You're an M who thinks about what an S might like and acts accordingly.
That's wonderful.
That's human love.
You've played with girls a lot when you were young.
But now that you're adults and you start making love with girls, I don't think you'll do that anymore.
I think it's best for you to date Matsuko.
That's true.
Even if you look at her picture, she looks like Matsuko.
Matsuko looks like Hamada-san.
Here I go.
I want to run away.
I haven't slept for six years in a row.
What?
That's weird.
What? Why?
Besides, it's definitely around here.
You remember this area, don't you?
I remember.
You said it before, when we were laughing together, that you watched us.
Yes, we did.
What?
We were just talking.
But you didn't say it.
We didn't say it.
You watched us, didn't you?
I've been doing it for a long time.
What?
You've been doing it for a long time?
You've been doing it for a long time, haven't you?
What does it mean?
This...
This show...
I've been on "Gakitsuka" for six years.
Oh, I see.
I know you're having a hard time.
You've been dragged around and dragged around.
It's pretty hard for me, too.
Don't be nervous!
It's a flow, isn't it?
Yes, yes, yes.
I can't make mistakes.
It's not bad for you, Matsuko.
Yes, yes, yes.
It's not bad for you.
After that...
"Onigiri no Kudari" and so on...
Two years ago, I said it wasn't funny anymore.
But Takahashi...
Takahashi...
Takahashi made "onigiri".
He made "onigiri"!
Takahashi made "onigiri".
No!
I don't have confidence in myself.
I don't have confidence in myself to make me laugh with "onigiri" anymore!
Stop it! Stop it with "onigiri"!
You say "onigiri" is the best!
But you ate "onigiri" at the end of last year!
Well, "onigiri" is not that funny!
I told you!
Every year, Takahashi and Nakamura come and say "onigiri" like devils.
They say "onigiri" this year, too!
But they say "onigiri" every time!
Especially, it's the hardest job, isn't it?
It's the hardest job of the year.
Of all jobs of the year, "onigiri" is the most stressful job.
You put so much pressure on yourself!
It's not just pressure. It's also a sense of accomplishment!
After "onigiri" is over, I finally start preparing for New Year's Day!
So, after "onigiri" is over, I think "I'll do my best next year, too!"
But as it gets closer and closer, I say "Oh, I don't like it! Oh, I don't like it!"
That's why Nakayama's muscles weren't that funny!
It's because of the pressure!
Because of the pressure!
I won't let you go!
This year, we have hot-blooded teachers who can't laugh!
From the actual tools they use...
...to their daily appearances!
We're waiting for you!
Next week...
Natsuko-chan!
All of a sudden...
Eroi-yan!
The Karuta disinfection line is on high alert.
This is the best you can do, right?
If you grow a little beard at the end of the year, I'll give you a hundred percent discount!
Out!
Natsuko-san's downfall is...
...this.
Who is she in love with?
I'll do anything! I'll do anything!