AISubs v3.5
Ladies and gentlemen...
Congratulations on your 30th anniversary!
It's sudden, but...
Yes, it is.
For us, this year.
When did you say your 30th anniversary?
Well, in April.
I'm sure you did.
From April.
Yes.
The staff told me about it, too.
Yes.
I was wondering if we could celebrate our 30th anniversary and go back home.
Go back home?
Yes.
What?
Why do you say that?
It's been dangerous for me.
It's been dangerous for you.
I was wondering if we could celebrate our 30th anniversary and go back home.
Can we see it?
Yes.
As you can see, downtown was founded in 1982.
Yes, it is.
Yes.
It's been 30 years since then.
It's been 30 years.
In 1986, when you were 22 years old, you became an old man.
Yes, I was.
You were 22 years old.
I was 22 years old.
You were an old man.
Was it before "It's 4 o'clock"?
Well, it was before that.
But you were an old man when you were doing it.
Isn't it too early for an old man?
It doesn't matter.
Age doesn't matter.
I see.
Was it "It's 4 o'clock" when you were 23 years old?
Yes, it was.
It was "It's 4 o'clock".
Yes, it was.
I was completely out of touch with Osaka.
I met you in my dream at 24.
It was "It's 5 o'clock" for me.
"It's 5 o'clock" for you.
"It's 5 o'clock" for me.
I see.
It's amazing.
You've been living in Osaka since "It's 5 o'clock", right?
Yes, I have.
I rented an apartment in Osaka when I met you in my dream.
Since when did you become an old man?
I told you when we met in my dream.
"It's 4 o'clock" means...
"It's 4 o'clock".
I went to Tokyo when you said "It's 4 o'clock".
It was earlier for me.
Oh, was it earlier for you?
Yes, it was.
I told you when you said "It's 4 o'clock".
We were "Team Zero".
We were "Team Zero" because of the election.
Anyway, we were "Team One".
Yes, we were "Team One".
The company didn't tell us to go to Tokyo.
We didn't have a job in Tokyo.
We came to Tokyo on our own.
Yes, we did.
Most of the talented people in Osaka came to Tokyo.
In the past, once you became famous in Osaka,
most of the talented people in Osaka didn't come to Tokyo.
Yes.
Did you go to Tokyo?
Yes, I did.
Are you stupid?
Who told you that?
I'm not stupid.
You're not stupid.
You're an adventurer.
Who told you that?
Noriasu told me that.
It's been a while since I heard about Noriasu.
It's already decided!
When did you decide to become a musical instrument player?
Do you remember the first musical instrument I played?
It was Asakusa's Mokubate.
Do you still play Mokubate?
Yes, I do.
At first, I only played musical instruments.
Do you know Mochi-neta?
I played Mochi-neta and Manzai.
At that time, it didn't sell well in Tokyo.
You didn't know anything about it.
You didn't have a good friend or a dream lover.
I did have a dream lover.
I played it late at night.
It's been 18 years since I started playing it in my dream.
I think I played it at 1.30 a.m.
Maybe I played it later.
You played it late at night.
I played it at 11 a.m. and 11 a.m.
You played musical instruments at 2.30 a.m.
I played it at 2.30 a.m.
Didn't you play it half and half?
That was a long time ago.
Oh, I see.
You played it at your first show.
You played it at Mokubate.
Nobody knew about it.
It didn't sell well.
It was like "what are you doing?"
It was terrible.
It was like "what are you doing?"
what are you doing?
isn't it selling well?
You were so excited.
After that, you were a little bit distant.
But you got excited again.
Is it true?
That's what you wanted to say, right?
But you did it.
You can say "kejirami" too.
"Kejirami" is a phenomenon.
What is it?
It doesn't say "release", does it?
It's "koi-iku", isn't it?
It's not "koi-iku".
It's "kejurami-iku", isn't it?
Yes, it is.
But it was shown, so it was released, wasn't it?
No, no, no.
I was ordering the intellectual life form called "kejurami-iku" here.
It's disgusting.
It's because we like coexistence and harmony.
I absolutely don't like the way you say "coexistence and harmony".
Oh, I'm sorry. Please write it down.
Matsumoto Kejurami Koi-iku.
Koi-iku.
It's been released.
In 2019, he got married and became a sole heir.
It's been 30 years since 2012 and 2015.
Let's do something about it.
Let's do something about 30.
So, is it 30 people or 30...
Let's say something about it.
I think we should talk about 30 places.
It's like a down-to-earth journey for two people.
What do you think of it?
Why?
We are celebrating our 30th anniversary, but it feels like a penalty game.
I think so, too.
It feels like we are giving away a prison.
Of course, we will prepare a hotel for you.
You set it up nicely.
We prepared a nice hotel for you.
We will prepare a hotel for you in 30 places.
In order to deepen the bond between you two...
We've been together for 30 years. We don't need a bond anymore.
We don't need a bond anymore.
In the first place...
It's a down-to-earth journey for you.
What do you think of it?
Some of you have helped us.
You've been selected for 30 places.
It's not a reward for you.
It's not a reward for me?
Thank you very much.
Your words are wrong.
Each of you gave me a present.
How did you do it?
It's not a reward for you.
It's not a reward for you, is it?
It's different.
Is it different?
It's different.
Do you have a Tanaka picture?
How about a 30-minute manzai?
A new story?
Yes.
A new story for 30 minutes.
How about it?
It's not like that.
You've been doing it for 30 years.
Why do you want a new story?
Are you trying to steal my stamina?
It's not like that!
It's money!
Is it?
It's money!
Is it money?
It's money!
No, it's not.
You guys are fighting.
You're fighting!
No, no!
Let's go to a bank.
Let's go to a bank together.
Let's go to a bank.
No, no!
Why?
You've been doing it for 30 years.
We have money.
Give me one million yen each.
One million yen.
Three million yen.
No, no, look.
Really, Dauntan-san.
Money isn't enough.
You have to pay with joy.
No, no, I'm telling you.
That's fine.
Doing a show.
Doing a project.
That's fine.
At least, you know, you can't laugh.
Right?
There's that, right?
There is.
I know you already have one, but the fact that you're going to do a show with me, is that fine with you?
No, no, no.
How can you say that?
That's just...
No, let me do something other than that.
Let us go on a mission this year.
No, no, no.
That's fine.
That's not allowed.
No, that's not allowed.
Why not?
No, I don't want to go.
That's not true!
100 hours! 100 hours!
That's not true!
Let's do it on some show!
30 years!
How about a confrontation?
We can't do it now, can we?
That's too much trouble!
If you two meet, it's close to 100.
That's too much trouble!
If I move a little, I'll break up with you.
Then what do you want to do?
Please tell me!
Something that will be a hint!
That's right!
We've been doing it for a long time.
Five of us have been doing it.
It may be a time for a new replacement.
I see.
In a true sense.
I don't know.
I don't know what you mean.
Fresh cut.
You're an old man!
No, I'm fine.
But we're old men.
No, we're not.
We're still fresh.
Let's make this place a fruit punch.
Let's make this place a fun place.
Are you okay?
No, no, no.
We're still fresh.
This information is still...
What did you say?
Damn you!
This information is...
Information!
Please say it. It doesn't matter if it's a dream.
No, we want you to make us laugh.
We want you to show us.
I've been telling you for a long time.
Can you make us do human bowling again?
You and I were dropping things from above.
I want to do that.
I'm sure you're tired of watching TV songs.
But you have to keep doing it.
Even if you're injured, you have to say nothing.
That's okay.
It's not okay to say it out loud.
It's too dangerous.
It's not okay to say it out loud.
I want to bite this too.
But this is my feeling.
I think Hamada looks fun watching you.
Hamada, you're really fun.
When I think about it, I think it's Moriman Yamazaki.
That's great.
You're laughing all the time.
Yamato-chan, Hamada...
It's not just me. We really like it.
You're smiling a lot.
It's hard to see such a happy face.
It's the same for us. We're having fun.
It's really fun.
Yamato-chan, it's a good final match for us.
I really think so.
Wait a minute.
I think heaven is something like that.
It's really heaven.
We're all laughing a lot.
On the contrary, it's like heaven.
We're laughing and laughing and laughing.
Yamato-chan, you've been saying it all along, haven't you?
To be honest, how many times have we done it?
The eleventh or twelfth time?
We've been saying "final match" since the fifth time.
I see.
Since it's our 30th anniversary and we're celebrating it...
Why didn't you say it earlier?
I'll say it. Thank you.
Wait a minute. No way!
I really want to do it.
I want to do it, but if it's me, I want to do it.
Right?
Since it's your 30th anniversary and you're saying it...
That's right. It's a request.
If it's me, I want to do it.
What's with that face?
Maybe it's not like that.
It's not good that we haven't seen it for years.
That's right.
Excuse me, but can we stop talking about this?
Why? What's wrong?
I'm in a bad mood.
Yamazaki-san said it.
My heart is pounding.
Can we stop talking about our 30th anniversary?
We're doing it again this year, Shogaku 2012!
At "Gaki no Tsukai", we'll be hosting "Waratte wa Ikenai Afford Pavilion" which aired last year!
Everyone, please come!
- Please. - Please, for real.
- No, no, no, wait a minute!
If you promise me, I won't let anyone on TV do that!
- No, no. - I'm sure you'll do it.
Let's talk about something more realistic.
- Non-artificial. - Non-artificial.
Then, let's not talk about it.
I'll do it, so let's not talk about it.
- What are you talking about? - That's right.
- What are you talking about? - That's right, that's right.
- In order to get rid of it... - Oh, you'll listen to me?
- I'll talk about it. - I'll resolve it, then.
Um...
To be honest, and I've said it countless of times, but I refuse.
- Refuse... - I really refuse to do it.
To be honest, I won't do it.
- What? - Wait a minute.
- You won't do it? - I won't do it!
- You're lying, aren't you? - I'm not lying!
It's like, "If you quit this and that, you'll do it, won't you?"
- You're lying! - I'm not lying!
People all over the country are saying it in dialect.
- You're lying? - They say it in all sorts of places.
- You're lying? Really? - No, that's...
What you're saying is you don't want to do the anti- fungal competition, right?
- I definitely won't do it. - Is that all you want?
- No, that's not it, either. - No, but really,
the staff hasn't prepared anything like that.
- What is that? - That's...
Why?
It's like a fairy tale!
On the day...
- "With a bucket?" - "With a bucket."
- It's like... - It's like...
It's like a fairy tale.
It's like a fairy in a variety show.
Why don't you bring it?
If I do it again, you'll bring it, won't you?
If you bring that fairy, you won't be able to do it, won't you?
That's all you want, right?
- That's all you want, right? - No, no, no.
The staff has come all the way to weird places.
- I'm sorry about this, but... - Why, why, why?
If you ask me about the planning meeting for the last anti-fungal competition,
- I really can't ask you about it. - Why?
Because there was that anti-fungal competition.
I can't stop thinking about it.
It's not an anti-fungal competition!
- I really want to see it. - But it'll go up!
- I don't know if we'll actually do it or not. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But if it goes up like that...
No, it's weird if it goes up like that.
If we really...
If we really do it...
- Once... - Do you know this old man?
- When we were doing it before... - Yes.
- He was really selfish. - I see.
I don't like this. I don't like that.
- He was trying to make me stop. - I see.
Suddenly, he said, "Change the fire, too."
I don't like this fire.
It's just...
If you say he was selfish like that, it's just amazing.
- Like "Kamata Koushinryoku" falling down the stairs. - It's like a cheap one.
- It's like a cheap one.
- He kept saying, "Let's not do it. Let's not do it." - It's not a cheap one. It's not a cheap one.
- I want to celebrate Downtown for its 30th anniversary... - Yeah.
- But it's not a celebration for me. - That's...
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah.
It's called "Furumai" "gobo" (pufferfish)
"Furumai" (pufferfish) "zake" (salted fish) "narai" (dried fish)
- You prepared a nice one. - "Furumai" "gobo" means...
- I'll punch "gobo" in his face. - Yeah.
- That's "furumai" "gobo". - No, I want to see it. I really want to see it.
- If you do your best there! - Yeah...
- If you do your best there! Maybe... - Maybe...
- Maybe you won't be there. - Well...
- What will you do if I say so? - What will you do if I say so?
- Wait a minute... - I thought you would be there.
- But what will you do if I say so? - What will you do if I say so?
- It's tough for you, isn't it? - It's tough for me, isn't it?
It's inevitable for people to get beaten up or something like that.
It's like when people get beaten up or white-eyed or something like that.
It's like that.
Wait a minute. This is serious.
Only Yama-chan can do that and get that kind of reaction.
You have to leave it behind.
Two years ago, when we did it for the last time, I said "It's really the last time."
I really thought of turning it down, but do you know Suga-san's "more push"?
I don't know.
You don't know?
While drinking.
While drinking, I got licked on my nipples.
Is it true?
Yes, it's true.
I got licked on my nipples by Suga-san.
And I said "OK".
What's going on?
It's nipples sales.
And for who, who gets licked?
I don't know who got licked, but...
But really, regardless of whether or not this exists or not...
I really don't have any objections.
I'll get angry.
Hey!
He's getting angrier and angrier, so it's okay.
Hey, you guys!
Huh?!
Objections and such.
Look, it's okay, it's okay.
It's okay now.
Okay.
What is this?
Look, you've been deceived.
That's enough!
You've been deceived!
There's no way we're deceiving you like this!
That's enough!
That's enough for now!
Seriously, seriously!
Who?!
Seriously, there's no way we're deceiving you like this!
No, I'm sorry, but I don't have any beliefs anymore.
My relationship with people is ruined.
I'm a kid's star.
My relationship with people is ruined.
I'll make you eat strawberries or something like that.
I'll make you eat cute things.
That's a problem.
I'll be in trouble if you bring me strawberries.
That's a problem.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I'll really stop.
I'll stop.
I'll really stop.
Objections aren't something you hit with, they're something you eat with.
That's right.
It's something you eat with.
That's right, but this is a serious matter.
Moriman is really...
Please ask him.
He says it's no good.
He's getting married or something.
He can't get married?
It seems like it.
Why?
There's a lot of things.
It's okay.
Eo, Eo, don't call Mori like that!
What are you doing?!
Eo, Eo!
That guy!
Either way...
Even if we can't meet here either way,
Yamazaki's 30th anniversary is coming up in 5 years.
That's right.
How many years has it been for you, Aran?
It's been 18 years for me.
You're lying!
Stop messing around.
18 years... you're even older than me!
Can we start?
Yes.
Can we contact Mori?
Sit down!
Matsumoto-san, can you talk to him for a bit?
Seriously?
Yes.
Hello?
Oh, Mori?
Huh?
I'm Matsumoto of Downtown.
What's up?
At first, when I said "Moriyo",
I didn't know who you were, so I said "Moriyo".
Like "Hamida".
I said "I'm Matsumoto of Downtown".
Moriyo, you know...
We're recording now.
We're recording now, but...
You know, at the end of the year...
It's our 30th anniversary.
It's Downtown's 30th anniversary event.
We wanted to do it.
So, Moriyo and Yamazaki decided...
Should we do it in the end?
I know!
No, no, no.
That's what we talked about.
Moriyo, what do you think about it?
Oh, really?
Oh, yes!
Yes, yes.
Oh, wait a minute.
Well...
At the end of the year...
I'll say it.
At the end of the year...
Moriyo is busy right now.
And...
We heard that it's our 30th anniversary.
So...
We want to do it in the end!
We're nervous, but...
Morio said, "I want to settle this!"
If we don't do something about it, we can't end it!
That's a lie!
Morio said it, too.
I've already settled it!
No, it's not like that.
Morio was caught up in it.
I see, I see.
That's a good thing for them.
It's a good thing for us, the 30th anniversary.
In commemoration of the 30th anniversary of Downtown,
Yamazaki vs. Morio will be held.
The staff will do their best to persuade Yamazaki!