AISubs v3.5
[Electronic sounds]
Huh?
Yeah.
What are you doing?
I don't know.
Shh!
(gunshot)
(laughter)
(gunshot)
(sniffling)
Yes.
Seriously, Ren-chan...
Seriously...
Look at this.
Yes.
Hahahahaha!
Hahahaha!
(clearing throat)
(whispering)
(crying)
(whispering)
(clearing throat)
(thud)
(sniffle)
(grunting)
(laughing)
(sighing)
It's amazing.
It's nothing.
It's amazing.
Shh!
It stinks.
It's hot!
No matter how much it is, it won't come out.
(sniffing)
(laughing)
[Clearing throat]
[Laughing]
I finally got it.
[Laughter]
Thank you.
I was really tickled.
[Laughter]
I was really tickled.
[Laughter]
Oh, it's hot.
A little more.
Shh!
I have a hunch!
Be quiet! Be quiet!
Oh, it hurts!
It's really strong!
Like a tonic shampoo?
Yes, yes!
It's strong!
Like a tonic shampoo!
*chomp*
*choking*
Shh.
*choking*
Calm down.
*choking*
That's amazing...
He made a lot of money...
Interesting...
Ahem...
(giggle)
Let me judge you.
How about this?
(giggle)
How about this?
Make it work.
Okay!
(giggle)
It didn't work.
I failed.
(giggle)
It didn't work.
(giggle)
[Laughter]
Can you see me?
I'm a performer.
[Laughter]
Thank you again.
[Laughter]
Since when?
Oh, I see.
[Laughter]
Pen name is Orange.
Yes.
I have a question for you, Mr. Mazumo.
Yes.
Can you tell me how to eat Donburi the best way in the world?
Well, I've never been betrayed by Donburi.
Oh, I see.
Does that mean it's really good?
Have you ever been betrayed by Donburi?
Well, I haven't.
You haven't, right?
No.
So, what more can you ask for from Donburi?
[Laughter]
Well, I...
How to eat Donburi the best way in the world.
I'd like to say something nice and share it with you.
Oh, go ahead.
After all, what is "delicious food"?
Yes.
To put it simply, it's delicious after bad food.
If you eat delicious food all the time, it's not delicious.
But if you eat bad food one minute before, it's delicious the next minute.
So, if you want to eat delicious Donburi, you have to remove Donburi one minute before.
Remove...
It's like you eat it in one minute.
If you put hot water in and eat it in one minute, it's not good.
This Donburi is the worst, but the next Donburi is pretty good.
[Laughter]
I think you should try to throw away Donburi once.
But you've never removed Donburi, right?
You can eat it normally.
Both are delicious.
Well, if you say it like that, it means that you don't know how to remove Donburi.
Tissue!
[Laughter]
I have a question for Mr. Masumoto.
Yes.
From who to where does Mr. Hamada say "we" come from?
[Laughter and applause]
Is it a habit?
You say "we" a lot, don't you?
Oh, you do.
There are several theories, though.
Please tell me.
One is...
[Laughter and applause]
Why do you suddenly appear on TV and talk about us?
Sometimes I wonder if you're talking about us.
That's strange.
Sometimes I don't know which position you're in.
No, we're all in the show, including Yama-chan and Kokoro.
Do you have such consciousness?
No, of course I do.
Sometimes you don't know your position.
I wonder if you're talking about us as Shanghai crabs.
Shanghai crabs don't talk!
I don't know how you feel about us.
No, we're all in the show.
How many of you are in the show?
It depends on the time and place.
[Laughter and applause]
I don't know who's in the show.
I don't know.
Excuse me.
"We"? "We"? That's strange.
You're the only alien I can talk about.
[Laughter and applause]
That's it!
I don't know much about you.
[Laughter and applause]
Do you know if aliens really say "we"?
You're just thinking about it!
[Laughter and applause]
[Music]
Lacoste's crocodile always faces right.
What's in the right direction?
Well, it's his nipples.
[Laughter and applause]
I want to catch his nipples.
What?
I want to catch his nipples.
Whose nipples?
The one he's wearing.
Oh, it's the one he's wearing!
The one he's wearing's nipples.
You want to see this part from here?
Yes, yes.
Why?
Even if you ask me "why?"
You'll know for the first time when you get older and become an Iraqi state citizen.
You won't have anything to do.
You'll just get cut up and die.
If you think about it like that, you'll only end up biting your nipples.
You want to catch your nipples, right?
If you ask me "why?" there, I'll say "then why do you bite your nipples?"
I'll say "then why do you catch your nipples?"
Even if you ask me "why?" there, I'll say "then why do you catch your nipples?"
I'll say "then why do you catch your nipples?"
This guy's stupid.
You won't know until you hear me say "then why?"
It was my dream to be on this show.
My dream came true.
I'm glad I made this movie.
That's how I feel.
Thank you very much.