AISubs v3.5
Cut it out! Cut it out!
Last week, it was decided that the shocking truth would be revealed one after another.
Yamasaki Lawyer's High Court Trial!
The first one is...
After recording, despite not winning, he broke his arm and got a signature from Professor Umetsu.
It's a rule-ignoring case!
Man, I'm happy about this.
Excuse me.
Yes?
Can I get your signature?
Excuse me.
Yes?
Can I get your signature?
He is a thief who doesn't follow rules!
You really want my signature, right?
No, no, no!
That's not it!
Then, when you made your first move, you didn't even swear!
That's right!
I swear my first move, but I don't swear.
You don't swear!
Then, the second one is...
The image-changing case in which the program director, Takahashi, was completely naked!
It can't be!
I'm scared!
It can't be!
Of course it can't be!
What is this?!
This can't be happening!
This is terrible!
He's naked!
This is terrible!
I think this is terrible, Natsuki.
No, what's wrong with this?
And the third one is...
It doesn't matter! It doesn't matter!
A young entertainer and two comedians had a heated argument about being disqualified as entertainers!
It doesn't matter! It doesn't matter!
But I don't care! But I don't care!
It doesn't matter! It doesn't matter!
Masashi is disqualified as an entertainer!
But let me say this.
The music that I always like doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter! It doesn't matter!
Why does it matter to you?
It doesn't matter! It doesn't matter!
Tonight, another entertainer is disqualified as an entertainer and another victim appears!
A shock runs through the air!
What will happen to Yamasaki?
By the way, the story that Yamasaki Hosei came up with,
the so-called "gag", is what we have now.
Well, it's not that big of a deal.
Starting November 1992...
You know this, right?
Yeah.
This is the year we joined.
That's right.
Since then, we've been doing "Yosshako", "Ma"...
Huh? "Waribashige"?
"Ganmenpakupaku", "Doitakako", "Chucky"...
What does "ganmenpakupaku" mean?
Um, it's like...
It's like this, right?
"Doitakako" is "ganmenpakupaku", right?
So you use it all the time!
When do you use it?
That's right! When do you use it?!
You just need to pull it out, right?
It's like this.
It's like this, you say?
It's when you ask me to do it for you.
"Ask me to do it for you"?!
"Ask me to do it for you" is a gag.
"Doitakako" is...
I, Tomiki Murayama...
will be appointed as Prime Minister of Japan!
He's doing it now and then.
Times have changed.
That's how it is.
So all of this, Mr. Yamazaki...
is your original idea?
That's right.
You came up with it all?
Yes.
Your Honor!
Regarding this gag of yours...
we have another victim.
What?!
Would you like me to call that victim?
I understand.
See you later.
Please call that victim.
Yes.
Oh, Mr. Harani.
Mr. Harani.
As you know, I'm Fujiwara Harani.
I'm the God of Gags.
Mr. Harani.
Yes.
It seems that Yamasaki came up with all the gags in this board.
As he says.
Yes.
To be honest, until now, I've told you about picking up nuances and doing something futuristic.
But in my case, you've completely picked them up.
Completely?
Completely.
Nothing has changed.
Seriously?
Yes.
As it is?
As it is.
Wow.
You're surprised, aren't you?
Wow.
Do you have a book?
Yes.
Would you like me to show you?
Yes, yes, yes.
Here you are.
Nine years ago...
That story was born on Matsumoto's 36th birthday.
Mr. Yamasaki.
What kind of impersonation would you like to do for "Happy Birthday"?
Mr. Matsumoto!
Mr. Murayama and Mr. Tomichi!
At any rate, it's not related to the story at all.
At that time, Yamasaki got excited about a hit gag for the first time in a long time.
Now, this gag has been performed in various scenes as Yamasaki's best gag.
However, there was a suspicion raised about this gag.
That was a year before the first performance of the gag.
Fujiwara!
This is the Osaka local band where Fujiwara regularly appeared at the time.
Oh, China. Yes.
Now, let's take a look at the scene of the problem.
An impersonation that comedians shouldn't do.
Yes, that's right.
I'm Doitagako, a former member of the Socialist Party.
Excuse me, please speak up.
Murayama...
...comedian...
...has been appointed as Minister of Interior.
That's a lie!
Murayama...
...comedian...
...has been appointed as Minister of Interior.
That's a lie!
Murayama...
...comedian...
...has been appointed as Minister of Interior.
Murayama...
What a coincidence.
Really? You still say that?
Didn't you know that Haranishi was doing a show a year ago?
Because I've never seen that show.
No, I haven't seen it.
But in my private life, I've often done it with the members of TENSHIN.
Oh, I see.
I've done it in front of Mr. Yamada, too.
You said it yourself.
First of all, at that point, the choice of "Murayama Tomiichi" was already old.
I see.
I've said too much about the past.
I see.
I can't say it now.
I'll say it now.
For now...
Well, I...
I was in a bad mood.
No, you weren't.
Haranishi, by the way, is there anything else?
Other than that...
No.
Is it okay for me to say it?
Can you show me the evaluation a little earlier?
What?
This is Mr. Yamada's representative work, isn't it?
Well, this "facepalm"...
Yes.
It was a big hit.
Earlier, you said "when are you going to use it?" and "what kind of pretense is that?"
Yes, yes, yes.
Actually, there is a proper pretense.
In short, it's my gag.
What?
I'm sorry, but...
Really?
Yes.
No, no, no, no, no.
Mr. Yamada's representative work!
Hey!
This...
You...
Don't mess with me, you bastard!
The reason why I was able to do this is...
When I was doing "Nature's Material", there was a group plot.
Daisuke Miyagawa and I would turn around and talk in monkey situations.
I see.
But even if I did it normally, it wouldn't be interesting, so I had to think of a character.
So, in short, it's this, right?
This.
Yes.
This.
If I talked like this, wouldn't it be interesting?
"Hey, dad. Dad, listen." Like this.
I see.
Daisuke would do this face and we would talk like this.
I see.
I came up with it.
I did it in "Shinkansen" because I was scared of Mr. Yamada.
If I couldn't do it all of a sudden, it would be scary, so I tried it.
I did it.
I really laughed at it.
Yes.
I thought, "Oh, then I can do it."
Yes.
I see.
This person...
With this stiff face...
Has won the grand prize.
What does this mean?
This is not a video...
If you only listen to this, it's terrible, isn't it?
Take a good look! It's completely different!
Eh, so Yamaguchi-san, what made you think of it?
Yes, why this gag?
Well, it's true...
In Osaka...
When we were doing a show together...
Yes, yes.
I think I've seen it a little...
It was just burned into my brain...
As for me...
Um... could you please stop...
That...
Look at me with disgusting eyes...
Everyone is disgusting!
Please apologize!
Is it okay?
Apologize!
Why do you have to apologize?
Yes, can I say something?
Yes.
This is...
Um... as Yamaguchi-san said...
When we were doing a show in Osaka...
Yes.
I asked him a few times...
Oh, really?
If it's not the right time for us to go to Tokyo from Osaka...
I see.
I asked him about it once...
He said it's not the right time yet.
Right?
I know it the best, so...
Kujiwara, it's not the right time yet!
When you go...
I'll say it!
I'll back you up!
But this is weird, isn't it?
It's weird, isn't it?
But...
When a crazy gag comes out during the show...
It becomes a hot topic!
Of course!
And you're afraid of it!
Of course!
You can't stop it!
Of course!
That's terrible!
That's why we're doing it!
So that it doesn't become a hot topic...
In the end...
I'm not telling you to keep doing it!
What happened?
Kujiwara said it!
I know it the best!
This is terrible!
It's not terrible!
This is a little advice...
Advice?
Yes.
What do you mean?
For example...
If the criminal admits it...
Will the crime be lighter?
A little, right?
A little!
How much lighter will it be?
I don't know about that...
Will you laugh and go out with me from now on?
Like the writer said...
If you're guilty...
The gag you made will be sealed...
Because it's a trial...
You can't use it anymore, right?
But because it has nothing to do with it...
That made you really happy, didn't it?
You're really into it, aren't you?
I've never played a single chord before, so I've been doing it for 20 years...
I'm really happy that I've been able to do it.
Then you should think of a single chord!
An original one!
It's no use even if it comes up, you bastard!
Maybe it might come up now, that single chord...
Oh, now? Maybe it will...
"Knights"?
It's becoming a habit of yours...
It doesn't come up at all...
"Knights" came up because of "knights"...
So it's a bad habit of mine...
I'm stopping you...
You're taking away what you have...
At last, the verdict will be given to Yamasaki Justice.
Then, please announce the verdict.
Yes, sir!
The defendant Yamazaki's fake theft is noteworthy, and the damage caused to many people has exceeded our expectations.
Therefore, regardless of whether or not it is convenient, the verdict is in favor of super-high quality!
Hey!
Encore!
Don't force me!
You can't do anything about it, you can't do anything about it.
Come here!
Come on!
What do you mean "come on"?
Hey, you don't like it, do you?
Hey, you really don't like it, do you?
What's up with you?
And once it's over, we won't do it again.
Yes, it's sealed.
Hey, you should have thrown it away back then!
Right?
Didn't you say you wanted to throw it away?
No, I didn't say that.
Didn't you say it? I said it in the end, didn't I?
No, you didn't say it.
It's a bad habit of mine, so I said, "Everyone, fix it for me," didn't I say that?
Well, it's just that Yamazaki is asking you to fix it for him.
Are you sure you don't want me to do it?
I'm sure you'll do it, so I'll do it, but...
Chono-san!
I'm a really good guy.
I'm a really good guy, and...
Hey, Chono-san, which one of you has the right arm?
Right arm, right arm.
Hey, I'm really sorry!
No, I'm really sorry!
Are you sure you don't want me to do it?
No, of course not!
It's a bad habit of yours, isn't it?
Right, it's a bad habit of yours.
That's good.
If you don't do it, I'll do it!
If you have any complaints...
You know how I got fired a year ago?
Yes.
It took me another three months...
What did you do for three months?
I was hospitalized.
You're lying!
You were hospitalized, weren't you?
What did you do for three months?
But it was really bad.
The doctor in charge of the hospital saw it and immediately got angry and said, "What are you doing?!"
Well, you don't have to lie like that.
No, it's true!
Let's go right away!
Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Wait a minute!
The doctor in charge of the hospital was really angry.
What did you do?
He said, "Don't mess with me!"
Who did you say that to?
To Chono.
To Chono?
That's right! That's right!
Why did you call me?
You don't know why I called you, do you?
I really don't know if I'll be gone from the hospital.
You'll be gone from the hospital?
Yes. I might be sent back home.
I don't know if I'll be like this.
Let's go!
Wait a minute! Wait a minute!
Why?
Why don't you call me?
Why?
Why don't you call me?
Call me!
I'll do it if you call me!
Stop it!
I'll do it if you call me!
I'll kill you if you call me!
Tell me!
I'll kill you if you call me!
I already did it!
Don't say it like that!
I didn't say anything!
Stop it!
Ah...
Stop it!
No, I was listening to you.
Wait, wait.
Yoshida, if you make things up, men can't get anything, right?
Put on your mics.
I'll make things up.
That was Ryu-chan's joke, right?
Oh, that was Ryu-chan's joke, right?
You made it up.
I'll take it.
I'm a man too.
Of course.
I'll gladly take it, but please do it with your left hand.
No, you can't do that.
Then I can't do it?
Where should I stand?
That's so cool.
You're still doing it?
Really?
I want to do it too.
Wait a minute.
Stand here.
I know. I know.
Let me do it first.
With my feelings.
I'm sorry.
I'll make you do it.
It didn't take long.
I know. I know.
I know.
Everyone, I'm sorry.
But...
Tonight...
This is too much.
Even if it's like this...
This is good.
This is funny.
This has nothing to do with adults or children.
This is scary.
I know!
I did this.
You did it!
I did it like I was tied up in a 7th grade program.
Excuse me.
Can you not open it?
Stand up.
You did it!
I did it like I was tied up in a 7th grade program.
You weirdo!
You're dangerous!
Why me?
What do you mean?
You're dangerous!
What do you mean?
It's dangerous if you run away.
Okay, let's go.
Wait a minute.
You weirdo!
Wait a minute.
You're dangerous!
Stop! Stop!
Please execute!
You're dirty! You're dirty!
You're dirty!
You're amazing!
You always do this.
You're a bad boy!
This is funny.
Now that it's decided...
Yes.
...let's promise that we'll never use that gag again!
Okay.
Is that okay, Yamasaki-san?
Bye-bye.
Yes.
It's been a while since we saw you like this.
Wait!
Stop it!
Shut up!
Go ahead.
How does it feel like to see a star in public?
You! Don't push that!
Recently...
Not recently, but you've always been a star.
I'm not pushing you!
Wait a minute!
You came last week and got killed today, didn't you?
Poor you!
That's right.
Last week you were supposed to be far away, but you suddenly disappeared, didn't you?
And you came back today.
Do you know the reason?
This is a serious story.
Hamada said last week, "You can go far away."
And you disappeared.
You!
Wait a minute!
You're the one who's being hit!
You're the one who's getting hit!
You're getting hit three times!
You're getting hit four times!
You're getting hit, aren't you?!
I'm not getting hit!
You were so mad, but you wouldn't come out of it!
I was a little mad, but...
That's right.
Then you came back and you said "Come back today."
But you came back and it's this bad weather again.
It's bad weather.
Of course it's going to sell.
I was standing outside with an umbrella.
I thought I'd put out a stove or something.
- Was it that heavy? - Yes, it was.
- I can't believe you came all the way to see it! - But you know, it's cold, so I put out two stoves for each of you.
- I'm really sorry about that. - Yes, it was really heavy.
- I see. - That's one of the reasons.
- I'm sorry about that. - I'm sorry about that, too. I haven't been feeling well lately.
- Well, you should have said that before. - I know.
- You know, I've noticed something about my health. - Yes?
- The more you beat it up, the more you'll put out fines.
- No one can beat me at this. - How many fines will you put out?
- I think in Japan... about 80. - That many?!
- I didn't say it for that reason! - You can't put it out right away?
- It's not about 80. - Ah!
- You can't put it out right away. - For example, have you ever put out a fine?
- Yes, I have. - Ah, really?
- You know, like this... - The white one.
- Yes, the white one. You put it on a table.
- It's a table like this. - Yes.
- You put your hand like this and say, "Stop, okay?" and it goes like...
It's really fast. It doesn't get dirty at all.
It's smooth.
You put it all the way in.
All the way in. It's amazing.
If you hold it for too long, it'll come out.
That's why you do it like this. You put your hand like this and say, "Stop, okay?" and it goes like...
It's not sticky at all.
You can do anything with it.
Don't eat sushi.
It's not like it's fast.
That's what I want to do with this show.
It's amazing how you can put it in so quickly.
You have to look for it first.
Like, "Is it around here?"
Oh, is it here?
That's stupid. It's like...
It's impossible to do it well and smoothly.
It's stupid. It's stupid.
But you're different! You're forced to do it like this by your sister!
It's because you're used to it!
It's because you don't know where it is!
It's because you're used to it!
Do you have to stuff it with cork?
Do you have to stuff it with Dojorenuubou?