AISubs v3.5
Once you're made to look like a ninja, what will happen?
- Masumoto-san? - Hmm?
- What's this? - Hmm...
- Well... I don't think I'll get too excited...
- Are you okay? You're dressed like a ninja... - It's not okay...
- It's something no one wants...
- Is this funny? - No, it's not funny.
- I think I can eat this. - Seriously?
- Let's not do it. - I don't like it.
- It's hard to say it's funny. I've been doing it for about 25 years, but I don't know what's funny or not funny.
- But if it's not funny, you know what it is.
- I know what it is! - I know what it is!
- What the hell are you doing?!
- Oh, it's here.
- Huh? Is it here? - Hmm...
- Well, it's a shrine, right? - Yes.
- A ninja is a ninja. - That's right.
- A shrine, huh?
- When they arrive at a certain shrine, who will they meet?
- Oh, it's open.
- It's still open.
- Wow!
- You scared me! - You scared me!
- Good morning! - Good morning!
- You scared me! - What?
- You scared me!
What is this man's purpose of suddenly appearing in his hiding place?
What are you doing in this clothes today?
What do you mean? Is this something a children's studio artist can do?
- As a first class of classroom series... - Yes?
- Wait a minute. - What is it?
- The classroom series. - What is it?
- So, as the first class of the classroom series...
...we'll start with the ninja classroom.
- Classroom series? - What does "series" mean?
- That's why we have all kinds of classrooms.
- Yeah, yeah. - Don't tell me you don't know!
- That's...
- Right?
- We even have the science experiment classroom you guys want to do the most.
- Is that...
...what Oni-san is going to teach us?
- What are you saying?
- No...
- No, Oni-san is going to teach us. - Who's Oni - san?
- He's a teacher. - Oh, a teacher.
- Oh, I'm sorry. - Oni-san, it's nothing.
- Yes, teacher. - I'm sorry.
- I've been telling my family...
...that I'm going to be a ninja today, but...
- As a boss...
- As a manager... - As a boss...
- I can't...
- I can't say it, can I?!
- No, you can't say it. - Yes, you can say it.
- Let's start with the ninja classroom.
- First, you must learn what is important to a ninja.
- Listen up! - Yes, sir!
- A ninja must know what it means to be a ninja.
- A ninja does not sacrifice his life for the sake of fighting.
- A ninja must not be seen as a ninja.
The one with a bad mouth is...
Chawanwaru.
Ah, Chawanwaru.
Shuriken, jaken, eimeken...
That's not it...
Shuriken, jaken, jaken is not it...
Shuriken, jaken, eimeken...
Shuriken...
Stop it!
Shuri...
Sensei, I think it's "shuriken"...
Huh?
I think it's "shuriken", but...
I think it's "shuri".
Shuriken?
Sensei, you've been saying "shuriken" the whole time.
As a great ninja, it's important to say it.
That's right.
I say "shuriken", but I don't want people to know.
I see.
I understand.
Matsumoto-kun!
Yes?
Can you write "jaken" for "shuriken", "jaken" for "eimeken" for me?
What is it?
Can you write "jaken" for "shuriken", "jaken" for "eimeken" for me?
How about "shuriken", "shuriken", "eimeken"?
That's good.
It's light, but...
You want a little more punch, don't you?
Excuse me.
Tanaka-kun, why don't you try it?
Um... well...
Um... "shuriken", "janken", how about it?
"jaken", "janken"...
Then we have to change "ehime prefecture".
If it's "shuriken", "janken", "ehime prefecture" will be perfect.
Hamada-kun!
Let's change "ehime prefecture".
That doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter.
"Aichi prefecture"!
It's decided! Let's go with "Aichi prefecture"!
Let's go with "Aichi prefecture"!
Sounds good!
Iwato and Kouga...
Sensei! Sensei!
Even if we're out of time, we can't do "ninja" anymore.
We'll be late.
I see.
Today, we have only one member.
You called us, didn't you?
We have only one member.
For now, let's go to the next battle!
Yes!
Let's do it!
Yes!
Then, follow me.
But you must not be found out by anyone.
Because you're "ninja", you must hide.
Sounds good?
Yes!
Are we going into a city like this?
It's embarrassing!
Be quiet!
We'll be found out!
Yes!
Using "shuriken", which is "ninja"'s representative weapon,
they will do practical training.
That's "shuriken" we're actually using, right?
Yes.
Everyone, hold this for a second.
Yes.
Four pieces.
One person...
Four pieces.
Isn't it cardboard?
One person, four pieces, right?
Yes, four pieces.
Four pieces.
Five pieces are fine, too.
No, five or six pieces are fine.
Then, five pieces.
Five pieces.
I have seven pieces, too.
Seven pieces.
Two pieces are fine, too.
Then, seven pieces.
That's a little too serious, isn't it?
Yes, I'm sorry.
Then, five pieces.
Well...
Don't get stabbed by it.
Yes.
I have a "gum stick" wrapped around it.
Oh!
Actually, we don't have this "gum stick".
Yes.
It's really dangerous.
Yes.
Be careful, okay?
Yes.
There are people who have been caught drunk driving carelessly, right?
Yes.
There are people who have caused a personal accident carelessly, right?
Yes.
So don't handle it safely!
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Don't make a loud noise!
You'll get caught!
I'm sorry!
I'm sorry.
Can you throw it to see if I'll get caught?
Are you okay, Sensei?
Look over there and I'll move.
Yes.
Try throwing it.
Yes.
Wow, you're good.
You've finally become a real ninja.
Thank you.
End.
Yes.
Excuse me.
I'm tired.
I was beaten up.
Why did you get beaten up?
Let's do our best.
Right?
Yes.
But don't do your best for rewards.
Yes.
I just want to be a ninja.
Who was it?
When a ninja moves, he must completely erase his own presence.
Excuse me.
What is a ninja called?
A ninja?
A ninja.
A fake one?
A fake one.
A fake one, right?
If you ask me what it is...
Shut up!
We don't know.
Don't say it loud.
Excuse me.
A ninja...
must fully face himself.
He must not show his own presence.
A ninja should not show his own presence.
Got it?
OK.
Then...
Just walk quietly.
I'd like to put this into practice.
One by one...
Walk without...
Making any sound...
Lightly...
Lightly.
It's becoming useful.
It's difficult.
Are you okay, Endo?
Be careful.
This is difficult.
Hang in there, Endo!
Can you lift it up a little?
Here I go.
Out.
You're too slow!
You're not human!
Hang in there, Endo!
Hang in there!
I'm sorry!
As a ninja, no matter the situation...
you have to master the strength of your spirit.
Since you're a ninja, I'm sure you've been here before...
Yes.
You have to stand on this extension line...
with the feeling of you becoming a stone!
Wow!
Stand up!
Wow!
Amada-kun!
It's a counterattack, isn't it?
Hang in there!
This is amazing, if you can do it.
Can I?
Wow!
Make sure you don't know where you're hiding.
Yes!
It's cold, isn't it?
Don't let them find out!
They haven't found out yet!
Shall we try it with a cat?
Huh?
A cat.
Huh?
A cat to deceive you when you're hiding!
Is it something that ninjas often deceive?
Yes. Shall we try it?
Let's try to deceive a cat from Amada-kun.
Is it scary?
Come on, Tanaka-kun, let's blow it up!
Come on!
Can you do it with a dog?
A dog, you two.
He's not eating.
He's cold.
He's looking at you.
Do it like a ninja. Jump down.
Okay!
Next, Matsumoto.
He's cold. Do your best.
Do a goat.
That's gross.
Tamasaki.
Do a baby.
Shut up!
That's enough. Jump down like a ninja.
Can I do it?
I haven't done it yet.
I'm tired of it.
Are you alone?
Are you thirsty?
Can you get me some juice?
Oh!
Yes?
Make sure no one finds out!
Seriously?
Make sure no one finds out.
No matter what.
Make sure no one finds out.
Yeah.
You know that vending machine over there?
Oh, yeah.
Go over there.
Oh!
This is bad.
If someone finds out...
It'll make a noise.
This is the end.
It looks like it.
It's pretty far away.
Don't try to fool me!
Hurry up and drop it!
Shut up and drop it!
End!
Drop it!
You're going to get caught, Chouminli!
Yes.
It's nice to be a ninja.
Yes.
It's a nice world.
It's back, right?
Yeah, it's back.
This sound.
You can tell right away?
Yeah.
End!
Yes?
Isn't that a bear countermeasure?!
Is a bear going to come out?!
I'm sorry.
You didn't find out?
No.
Are you okay?
Yes, I'm okay.
Okay.
Then...
You did this for me?
Yes.
You didn't find out, did you?!
I hope you didn't find out.
You left it behind! You left it behind before you gave it to me!
You thought I'd beat you up if you took it!
Give it back!
Thank you, thank you.
There's a lot of guys like him.
Thank you.
Can I have a drink?
Teacher.
Thank you.
Teacher.
I'm thirsty too.
Do you know why?!
I don't know.
I used to be bullied by your dad.
You said it clearly.
When you put poison needles in your mouth and listen to your opponent's life passing by, you can hear his ultimate attack.
When you are caught by the enemy, you spit out the poison needle.
You spit out the poison needle in your mouth and escape from there.
I have never told anyone about it, but I will tell you about it.
Thank you very much.
Today, we won't use poison needles.
We will use dried plums.
Let's go.
Gather around.
Gather over here.
This is the heart.
Is it the enemy's?
Aim at the enemy's heart and hit him with one strike.
It looks difficult.
How far is the enemy's heart?
The enemy's heart is about...
Captain!
It's about this far.
Let's go a little further.
It's about this far.
It's difficult.
It's about this far.
Let's go one by one.
Let's start with Matsumoto.
It's delicious.
Sensei put a lot of sauce on it.
Why did you do that?
Because I'm not used to it.
Do you want me to put it a little more forward?
Yes, please.
This much is fine.
I'll eat it.
You did it.
I'll do it.
You did it.
Don't put too much sauce on it.
Because I'm not used to it.
I'll do it.
Who was the most shining ninja throughout today's training?
The best ninja award goes to...
Hamada!
Thank you very much!
That was good.
Hamada has a great product.
It's a duffle coat.
What's that got to do with it?
And it's been cleaned.
Hamada-kun!
Yes!
Congratulations!
Thank you.
My wife bought me this when we were going on a trip to Hokkaido 15 years ago.
It's heavy.
It's a duffle coat.
It's heavy.
It's not trendy, so...
It's heavy.
It's uncomfortable.
How was the audience until you got here?
If you ask me in-depth, I don't think it was very energetic.
What are you talking about?
You're making me blush, you idiot.
Don't look at me like that, you idiot!
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Well, I'll get right to it.
I was involved in an incident.
Oh, that's a lot.
It was pretty bad.
What kind of incident?
I went to the sauna.
Yeah.
The four of us.
Yeah.
Five of us.
We were in Shinjuku.
Yeah.
I was changing at the locker room.
I was hiding in front of him with a towel.
I said, "Let's go."
And we went.
There was this guy called Aki.
He hadn't come for a while.
I was like, "What's he doing?"
But I was using it.
Aki came up and said, "I'm sorry."
I said, "What are you doing?"
He said, "There's this weird guy."
With a towel...
While hiding with a towel...
He was holding something like a Digi-kame.
He said, "Matsumoto-san!"
I said, "What?!"
What are you doing?!
I said.
He ran away.
I said, "I'm sorry."
He ran away.
I said, "Whatever."
I went into the sauna for a while.
I went out again.
It was like a rest area.
I said, "Let's go."
But Aki wasn't there yet.
I said, "What are you doing?!"
I heard a voice saying, "Stop!"
I said, "Stop!"
I said, "I'm sorry!"
He was like this.
He was like a naked Taishou.
He was fat.
Yes, yes.
He was like this.
Fat.
"What are you doing?" I said. "How much is it?" "Tell me the price." I said, but he didn't answer me at all.
Then I picked up the camera and I thought it was impossible for me to see it.
"Maybe there's nothing in it." I thought.
At that time, I thought I would lose if I was accused of it.
Then I called the store manager and told him to come to a separate room.
"What should I do?" He didn't answer me at all.
"Then you'll have to call the police." I said.
When I called the police, about five people came.
Anyway, I told the police to show me what I had taken.
I didn't know what to do, so I gave up and showed it to them.
I was taking a movie, but I was taking various old men's butts.
This is it!
My butt is being filmed from all angles!
Shut up! Shut up!
My face too!
As a result...
I don't care anymore!
Your face isn't in the frame, only your butt!
My face is in the frame a little!
Is that so?
I was wondering what would have happened if I hadn't been caught!
I thought I was being filmed.
I see.
When I entered the sauna, it was about 12 o'clock.
I thought I was being filmed.
But when I checked the time in the movie, it was about 8 and a half.
There's only one day.
There's only one day!
My butt is being filmed from all angles!
That's amazing.
That's an interesting video.
My butt is being filmed from all angles!
Who's butt is being filmed from all angles?
The sauna was about to go up again.
I see.
My butt is being filmed from all angles!
Well, it depends on the person, but it's not just the butt, right?
That's right.
There's something wobbling from below and it's being filmed.
It's painful!
I can't stand it!
I see.
My butt!
My butt isn't in the frame!
It's only your butt!
It's in the frame.
It's not in the frame!
What kind of walking is that?!
If you walk normally, your butt won't be filmed!
That's really amazing.
I caught you.
You caught me.
I caught you.
The sauna manager was weird.
While we were calling for the police, he said...
Are you a fire?
That's even more funny!
Are you a fire?
Even when we were filming a movie, he said...
Are you a fire?
It's you who's a fire!
That's funny.
That's always funny.