AISubs v3.5
Fall of 2004
original subs by: Morizaemo
Color Coding:
Hamada
Matsumoto
Yamazaki
Endo
Tanaka
Fujiwara
Again we had a strict batsu game
Again we see another strict batsu game
There was only 1 rule
Don't laugh under any circumstances
The title is No-Laughing Onsen 1 night & 2 day trip
No-laughing in Onsen Inn 1 night & 2 days in Yugawara
Bell paper!
No-Laughing Onsen trip, 1 day 2 nights
Only humans can laugh, what happens when we take away this emotion from humans?
The answer will be shown in this 2003 punishment game.
Hell is here!
These are the 3 men that will experience this hell.
This time there will be 3 participants in this Batsu game
Tanaka Naoki
Yamazaki Hosei
Hamada Masatoshi
Who will be controlling this batsu game
Who are the ones deciding the fate of the 3?
Endo Shozo
and the mastermind of this batsu game is this man.
Matsumoto Hitoshi
What you will witness is a record of the 3 men during their 1 day 2 night, ass-whipping hell
A record of the 3 men during their 1 day 2 nights onsen batsu hell
That's Enough get outta here!
It all started from this
This is how it all began
1st ever, Gaki no Tsukaiya Arahende Chiki Chiki Tensai Yamasaki's idea
Who will be punished, Russian Roulette wasabi sushi Batsu Tournament!
Yamasaki's idea of a Russian Roulette wasabi eating tournament
10 different types of sushi x 10 pieces each 100 total pieces. 4 will contain super hot wasabi
Russian Roulette, Wasabi sushi tournament
Out of 100 sushi, there will be 4 pieces with extra hot wasabi
They will take turns until either Matsumoto or Hamada eats the super hot wasabi sushi
Matsumoto Hitoshi Hamada Masatoshi Yamazaki Hosei Tanaka Naoki Endo Shozo
Who ever eats the wasabi sushi will be in the Batsu game
First to qualify is
Here we go
Maguro Sushi
Eat it all
Cut it out already
Tanaka just start
That's safe?
That's enough
Why are you so noisy, just be quiet, stupid
No way!
Yamazaki is in the Batsu Game!!
Yamazaki is the first participant in the Batsu Game!
The next qualifier is
Safe?
What about you Endo?
Safe?
Tanaka?
Tanaka is in the Batsu game!
Tanaka is the 2nd participant in the Batsu Game!
I didn't feel it for a while
and then...
I'm safe!
You're safe?
Matsumoto you're safe?
Hamada-san gets to do the Batsu game!!
Hamada is the final participant in the Batsu Game!
The laughing demons opening ceremony is starting
The 3 of them will participate in the No-laughing Batsu Game
Russian Roulette Sushi Winners
Downtown
Cocorico
Matsumoto Hitoshi
Endo Shozo
Thank You!
- -Thank You
We're going to take a look at the batsu game
It's because we won
- -Yes we won, so now we shall see the losers
Yes! Please enter!
Russian Roulette Sushi Losers
Downtown
Cocorico
Hamada Masatoshi
Yamazaki Hosei
Tanaka Naoki
So how are you feeling?
- -I'm feeling alright
Well, not right after the batsu game
- -Yeah
- -You're Right
What?
- -We were very tired
You got so much mucus from the wasabi that you lost your voice
I wonder why that is
It was really very hard
it was quite long
We were doing it so many times over and over
What the hell are you saying?
You're just picking on me!
You can understand right?
- -He just said it
I'm just being picked on!
About the mucus and stuff
I'm begging you
It was the end of the year and I was so busy that I lost my voice
Hey
- -I just couldn't
Well, then that couldn't be helped
- -Yes that's only normal
Seems like everyone is your enemy, who can be on your side?
He can be so quiet sometimes, this just surprised me!
That's true
2:00 p.m., Day of the Batsu Game
The 3 men arrive at Yugawara train station
Our 3 losers arrives at Yugawara train station
The famous spa resort will be transformed into a comedic and demonic den.
And their guide is of course this guy...
Here!
Why the hell is he in such high spirits?
We can laugh now, right?
- -Here!
Stop sounding like a broken recorder
It's nice of you to come all this way
Downtown former Manager Fujiwara Hiroshi
We can laugh now, right?
Do you know where you are?
We're in Yugawara
...but a wrong answer for a comedian
Always be a comedian!
How are we supposed to know?
Didn't you learn that in NSC training school?
Will you stop laughing for no reason?
- -Yeah you need to stop that!
You're going to play a batsu game today
I will never, ever be triggered to laugh by you!
You're going to play a batsu game today
How can you guys get prime time?
It's the end of the world
You're disgusting
Here are the rules for the batsu game:
so listen carefully
- -Ok
Rule# 1: You will stay overnight at the hot spring inn
Rule 1
Hamada, Yamazaki and Tanaka will stay in a Hot spring inn until tomorrow morning
#2: No matter what, do not laugh during the trip
#3: If you do laugh, you'll be punished immediately
Rule 2
They must not Laugh under any circumstances
That's it.
Should they Laugh, a severe punishment will be delivered immediately
Rule 3
Matsumoto-san simplified things so even stupid Hamada could understand
Lucky for you, Hamada
Yeah
It's about time to start
Are you all ready?
Yes.
I swear I won't laugh
- -The game begins when you go pass this gate
When we go through, we can't laugh?
Rule 4
The Game begins after they cross the Line
Follow me
I swear I won't laugh
- -Let's go
So we're going?
Let's do this together
-Showtime!-
Is the hot spring inn near?
It's near, but we're taking a side trip first
Hey, look to your left, there are beautiful autumn colors.
What a beautiful town.
- -Yeah it is
And the people here seems to be happy to have you around
Look there
- Welcome to Yugawara - (Producer Suga)
[This is some surprise.]
(Cheif Producer Suga Kenji) welcome to Yugawara billboard
[This is incredible!]
[This is disturbing! The entire town supported them.]
(Cheif Producer Suga Kenji) welcome to Yugawara signboard
What? What? Was that counted as laughing?!
Yeah, you laughed.
- An S&M army punishes laughers by whipping their butt.-
That looked painful!
They couldn't have done this without the town's cooperation.
That's incredible!
What? I'm at Yugawara station now.
The infamous pro wrestler Dynamite Shikoku passing by (Endo)
What?
Shikoku!
Yeah?
May I have your autograph?
Fans of Dynamite Shikoku wants his autograph
[That was a laugh.]
Wait a moment
[Shikoku has always been Tanaka's weakness.]
[I fell for it everytime.]
Wow, this is so cool!
Skikoku! please perform your special move.
Please! Do it!
OK, ready?
Shikoku! Shikoku!
That's not fair!
So stupid.
[No one can survive this.]
What? Again?!
[That was really painful]
Why were you hit twice?
- -I don't know!
At 3:00 p.m. today, a title match at the Yuguwara Gymnasium...
[Tanaka got hit 2 times]
YWGP heavyweight champion Escargot Man vs.
the violent superstar from Seto Inland Sea...
Dynamite Shikoku This will be an incredible match
Get away from my sight!
What are you waiting for?
[Seriously, what are you waiting for?]
Goodbye
- -Good-bye and good luck.
[Well, that was kinda funny]
That guy's annoying
Damn right
Wow, the kids in Yugawara really take their studying seriously
Oh my god
Suga dressed as a student
[that was...]
[Suga-chan is everywhere]
My ass...my ass is on fire!
Suga's fake poster
Why the hell, it was only a half smile
[That was not good]
[Tanaka missed it here]
That was...incredible!
Yeah, Suga's amazing
This is bad, we shouldn't get suckered in so easily
- -Damn right
Yugawara's a famous spa resort
Yugawara's a famous spa resort Sound Truck
It has many shops of long standing
Let's have some tea.
Yamasaki used his arm to cover his laughing face
[Cheater!]
Thank you very much
Thank you
Hi! Today, I'm at Yugawara, which is at its height of fall color
I can see clear blue sky in every direction
(Travel show reporter) Kinomoto Ryo
Everybody knows Yugawara is a spa resort
But before I bathe, I'll show you some goodies
Hamada used his cup to cover his laughing face
This is really good
What do you recommend as a best buy?
This one sir, Amanogawa (Milky Way) manjuu
Amanogawa? What a beautiful name!
They don't care if we shoot at the same place?
He's speaking very loudly
We are definitely in their frame
WHY!? Why is it called Amanogawa?!
Did you hear how much he stressed "why"?
Hamada & Yamasaki drink tea to cover their laugh
What the hell?!
That comment was totally unnecessary!
[You guys are too easy.]
Damn that's good
He whipped my balls
My balls...
There's much more to come, We'll be right back
(Director): CUT!
OK!
[Isn't the director too old?]
Watch it! It's hot!
I just realized how old that director was.
- The director is in his 80s
I guess he's still nostalgic
Let's go, That way
There's a place I want you to see before we head for the inn
We'll go there first
Why can't we just go to the inn?
Hey! Hey!
- Harley Davidson with a sidecar
A sidecar
Get in the car, I'll lead the way.
Are you going to ride in that?
I'll lead the way, Get in
- Fujiwara puts the 3 men in the taxicab
Thank you
It's much more intense than before
- -Damn right
This is bad
Japanese-style hairdo helmet
That Dynamite thing was close
Dynamite Shikuko vs, The Escargot man
Yes it was
That Escargot Man
[This wasn't the only time you weren't punished.]
- Hamada's safe because the watcher missed it
They're leaving the Yugawara station. Where is Fujiwara taking them?
What awaits them?
So much has happened in a short time
The town is against us
- -That signboard was something!
Yes, it was
It was tough
Mind if I turn on the radio?
Radio? No, go ahead
Yoshida Terumi's (radio host) "Yugawara, Oh My Mind!"
Yoshida Terumi hosts on the radio
As always, I'm your host, Yoshida Terumi.
How are you doing? The same old, same old?
"This year is almost over, time flies
- -Time flies...
At this rate, I'll be 90 by the end of next year.
The driver begins to laugh loudly
Is this really the end of March, the weather is so warm
Give me more time!
And my name happens to be 'Tell me' (Terumi), too!
Are they going to stop here?
They are being very thorough
No break for us
If anyone laughs, the car stops and he is punished outside.
You heard that?
I can hear that even with the window closed.
It's very loud
Do you mind if I turn on the radio?
[I don't believe Hamada didn't laugh]
Yugawara, Oh My Mind
I love this show
What's up? Dynamite Shikoku has finally come to Yugawara.
He's as rough as a whirling current in the Naruto Channel.
[Tanaka You suck.]
No, please don't "Dynamite" me anymore!
- Hamada takes advantage of the watcher's absence
He has zero tolerance toward the Dynamite sketches
Hang in there, Tanaka.
Do you mind if I turn on the radio?
Why do you need to ask everytime?
Why not just turn it on?
[It's annoying when you have no choice.]
[You get out of the car and get whipped...]
[That's horrible] [--it looked painful!]
[This is hard.]
It hurts!
This is only the beginning for them
There are more traps to come
- Old lady hitchhiker looking for a ride to L.A.
[She must be out of her mind!]
I suppressed my laughter!
Who'd give her a ride?!
[She's still holding up the sign.]
My balls!
My balls hurt!
Hey wait!
How the hell are we not supposed to laugh at this?!
we'll Laugh for sure!
Look at her face
My ass is throbbing
It will definitely be swollen
[You still didn't even reach the Inn]
Why is he checking on us
The punisher turns around
Isn't that dirty?
It's dirty
You know, he's wearing glasses
[Of course we're going to laugh at that]
Why can't you just shut up!
Cut it out already!
What are you trying to do?
[The mask was off center]
He whipped my balls again!
At this rate, we will never reach the Inn!
[You knew that huh?] [-Yeah]
I'm begging you
Really
They finally reach the next destination
But where have they arrived?
Please get out
Why don't we just go to the inn already!
There's something I want you to do here
This is a temple!
You have too many wordly desires That's why you can't help but laugh.
You'll need some training, Follow me
A Temple...
They arrive at an old venerable temple
What training must they undertake?
We should cut out the unnessary comments
- -I agree
Tanaka, raise your threshold.
What's that got to do with it?
Wait a minute...
It's got everything to do with it!
What's your beef?
Ungirls (Comedy Duo) Yamane Yoshiaki & Tanaka Takushi
I don't like to ride behind you.
What's wrong?
Your steering sucks
I think I should steer
What? My steering was fine
- -No it's not
What do you mean?
You get tired and...
Then why asking me to join in the first place?
Because I had no one else to ask
You wanna fight?
[They're getting better at this.]
To hell with this
Hey Wait!
Timeout
Don't count this laugh, OK?
He whipped my dick
This whip was for Tanaka, but the S&M guy missed and...
...hits Hamada's penis instead!!
[You should've moved]
My right ball hurts
He whipped my right ball
Isn't it supposed to be on the butt?
Ah...there he is...
- -You're not listening...
This local priest will take care of you
Greet him
Hello there
- -Oh yes?
- Eyes are painted on the local priest's eyelids
Welcome all, my name is Tenkai, the local priest
Please come in
I'll show you inside
Please come inside
May we enter?
- -Yes please do
This is the main hall
The pictures behind me are of previous priests
Our last resident priest was Priest Parakeet
he was one of the most revered priests around
[That was too much]
Today, we have a great priest visiting us from Kyoto
He wants to see you
Please pay your respects
Please come in
A black priest enters the room
ACHUkata desho (Atsukata desho) = It was hot, huh?
[Hou-san has zero respect!]
Excuse me
[It wasn't hot] -[It was cold]
[He should be saying that during summer]
This year is really
Hot huh?
It's really hot
Well?
It's hot right?
[So persistent huh?] [--yeah]
Right? It's hot, right?
I'm - So suddenly
So
I'm
before you
Oshitoshimasu (Oitomashimasu) = leaving
[We couldn't hold it anymore]
aw..my balls!
Poor Tanaka got whipped 3 times in the balls
I want you to practice Zen setting meditation
Your eyes may stay open during the meditation
But you must never disrupt your equilibrium
You may begin
Meditation Time
2 Grannies Impersonating t.A.T.u.
Note: t.A.T.u is a famous Russian pop duo (Lena Katina & Yulia Volkova)
I'm afraid I'm pregnant
Keep the baby
[They're always funny.]
You need to try harder
The priest punishes with the board-stick
Good afternoon Tokyo!
Note: Thomas Mcgregor is a famous Hollywood actor
Thomas McGregor (Impersonated by Chief producer Suga Kenji)
Good afternoon Yugawara!
Good afternoon
Chief Producer Suga Kenji
Good afternoon
Good afternoon Tokyo!
[He was so persistent.]
[He kept repeating it]
Good afternoon Yugawara!
Good afternoon Tokyo!
Good afternoon Yugawara!
- -You persistent bastard!
Good afternoon Tokyo!
You should try harder
What's wrong with That jerk?!
A mysterious person appears from behind
This is disturbing
[Yeah, it's spooky.]
[Makes you nervous.]
It's me, Yinling of Joytoy
Note: Yinling is a famous swimsuit model
[That was a suprise.]
Try harder.
Yinling ... It's Yinling!
That's amazing
Dynamite Shikoku enters the Temple
Oh, Maito-san
It's not "Maito", I'm Dynamite Shikoku
Remember, I'm not "Maito"
Is it alright if I pay for a win?
Oh, great priests are here
Please let me beat
the world's best wrestler, Escargot man
Cut it out already
Here I go
Want me to do it?
Ready?
1
2
3
Shikuko, Shikuko!!
Cut that out, damn it
Try harder
Thank you very much
Training is over
Have you learned a thing or two?
It's just 3 hours in, and they're not at the Inn yet
But they look badly beaten
This is only the prologue to crueler and harsher chapters
We haven't even get to the Inn yet
Yeah it hasn't even started yet
It's like 2 leading characters haven't even met in a romance movie!
I think the person who got hit the most so far was Tanaka
- -That's right
Weak!
I've told you about Yinling before, but it's the first time I've
Swimsuit model: Yinling
seen her in person
Oh, you've never seen her?
I never expected to see her like this!
But, Dynamite Shikoku is so funny
Actually it's been 7 years
Rght?
A long time ago during Shichi Henge, he appeared
During Endo's Shichi Henge?
9/1997 On Air
Endo's Shichi Henge
It's been about 6-7 years ago
Oh, yeah!
He just loved it
Yes, he was my favorite
You still like him even after 7 years
Feels like finally he appeared!
It's interesting to watch everyone's hot button
I couldn't stop laughing at the Parakeet bit
Priest Parakeet
Yeah it was amazing
The 2 Mrs. were awesome
I don't think you've seen the LA woman in person
Her face is literally a bigger than her body!
LA old lady
I think it's half the size of her body
I think it encompasses all of it
All? That's impossible
That'd make her a monster
Where's her body then?
- 6:00 p.m., (4 hours past)-
The sun goes down, and the taxi finally takes them to the inn
This is the inn
They are staying at this inn
What awaits them?
A pair of slippers glued to the floor
Come in
Good evening
My ass is sore...
[You fell for an old trick.]
[What about LA!]
(The female hitchhiker is having trouble with the desk clerk.)
- -You need a reservation
You can't stay here without having a reservation first
Give me a break
Let's go to your room
This is a nice inn.
- -Yeah
Can't wait, really
This is your room
Isn't it a nice room?
We aren't there yet
[He's just memorized the script.]
What a nice room
This really is a nice room
The scroll has a welcoming message
Feature ramen or animals for a high rating. --Suga Kenji--
I'm leaving, the serving lady will take care of you
[So enlightening]
I want to take a piss
Me too
Shall we go?
There must be a trick in here
Why?!
Hey!, this is wrong am Yamazaki, he said "Hamada Out"
Wait! wait!, this is wrong!
Yamazaki was punished instead of Hamada
Why?!
It was Hamada-san who laughed
What the hell?!
I didn't laugh at all
We were in the bathroom
- -You laughed right?
Not really, I was only commenting on something, and they mistook it for a laugher
But I heard the Judge
He called you out...
It's true
Wait a minute...
What are you saying?
- -After he called you out, the punisher came in here and hit me
Will you just cut it out
That was loud
It hurts really bad
It was really loud too
Yamazaki picks up the Hot springs pamphlet
There's something in the Hot spring pamphlet
inside there are introductions by famous people that stayed at the inn. Included also is a part by chief producer Suga
- Producer Suga - He is a genius producer who produced many hit programs. He loves Yugawara very much which is why he features Yugawara in many of his programs. Since he was younger he always dreamed about the onsen baths. His brain cells become so flexible because of the onsen steam.
[You had to read them in order]
Not so rough!
[When I see someone else getting hit I think I shouldn't laugh]
Hamada-san, take a look at this
Yamazaki wants to trick Hamada by showing him Suga's fake introduction
It's beautiful
- -Yes it really is
They even have this shape
Even an out door bath
You bastard...
[Why do you look bland?!]
That was pretty surprising
Yes
- -Yes it was
I think we have to be more careful
- -Excuse me
Seemingly ordinary serving lady
We have some Japanese bathrobes for you to change into
We have 2 sizes, M and L.
Tanaka-san, which will it be?
Ah... an L, please.
Yes, sir.
Yamasaki-san?
I'll take an M
Lip Monster-san?
Which would you like, Lip Monster-san?
What, for real?!
Oh I forgot, let me show you something...
we have an introductory video of our Inn, please watch it
Hot Spring Inn Guide
Please take your time and watch it
Now we will introduce this Hot spring inn
Host Endo Shozo
Eh...everyone often
comes with their family and kids
[I'm seeing this for the first time]
and spend a lot on Sushi etc
I'm going to introduce, hey you!
[Endo went to Yugawara alone just for this]
It stopped
Endo's Takeshi Kitano Onsen Guide starts again
It was kinda long
5 Minutes later...
Quite long
He filmed a long vtr
That's incredible!
This is the main hall, yea
[How cheap]
10 Minutes later...
Hey honey, where are you from?
Eh?
I made it through...
They actually made this video
Meanwhile, the mastermind of this batsu, Matsumoto arrives at the inn.
Good evening
This is amazing
Headquarters
Look at this place
You guys are really desperate to punish them.
- 7:00 p.m. (5 hours past)-
They've changed their clothes and are lounging peacefully
but It won't last long
C3PO (Producer Nakamura)-
C3PO (Producer Nakamura)
R2D2 (Director Ohnuma)-
[Why does R2D2 look so lousy?]
[They probably spent all the money on C3PO.]
Darth Vader (Old lady 1)
[Hurts more in a robe?] --[Yes.]
Hamada-san also laughed!
- -No I didn't
That's a false accusation
Was it my imagination?
- 8:00 p.m., (6 hours past)-
What time is it?
I think it's about ... 7:00
The room has no clock
Might be a little past?
I'm starving
I eat like a horse these days
- -Really?
It's because I quit smoking
- -Ah I see
What about you?
I did too
So I eat a lot
When did you quit smoking?
About 2 months ago
I really want to quit, too
I don't think you want to quit
That's true, but...
I need to switch to another brand I'm smoking a stronger one now
What do you mean by "stronger"?
Magnitude
Magnitude?
What the hell is "magnitude"?
"Magnitude" was a bad move, Tanaka
You did it on purpose?
No
If you did, that was lame
[Hey.]
[The gorilla is acting strange. It's definitely acting funny.]
[Look at its mouth.]
Magnitude
[He's about to laugh.]
It's been affecting me a lot
Cut it out!
Just shut up! Why do you have to talk?!
This is your fault, you kept talking
I didn't want him to think I did it on purpose
I just wanted to explain
It's not grammatically correct, idiot
Hamada-san, are you..
What is it?
[You should stop with the friendly fire.]
[It's too early to be on the disabled list.]
Why?!
You had it coming!
What's with the swing?
I was just worried about your ass
You replied in such a gentle voice!
What's up with that guy?
He whips very hard
He does it every time
Not again!
C3PO returns for a 2nd time
It's cold
He just left it open
That Bastard
They're doing it just to annoy us
C3PO returns for a 3rd time
I can't...
Please go easy on me
It's throbbing
And it's cold
I wish they'd stop
C3PO returns for a 4th time
Please, I'm begging you
The music is enough to crack me up
It's becoming a conditioned reflex
Hang on, Hamada-san.
9:00 pm (7 hours past)
It's about time to bathe, you guys stink!
Why not bathe in the hot spring?
Do you want to take a bath?
- -I do
Let's go then
OK.
Underground lies one of the finest hot springs
So enjoy
As they pass by, Matsumoto hides in the bathroom
What is he planning?
Nukumizu (actor) happens to be in the changing room
[That can't be]
He whipped my balls
Works instantly
Nukumizu puts hair grower on his head
Hot!
Let me try this
Nukumizu tries a different brand
Nukumizu is having difficulty tying his sash
Please stop it
Tanaka's laughing too
ehh, Wait...
It hurts!!
Hey! Hold up there!
What are you doing? How many years have you been in the TV business?
You can't be naked on "primetime" TV
I have some "primetime" swim shorts for you to wear
- -If you say so...
Hey, Tanaka!
A middle-aged man is wearing Tanaka's "primetime" swim shorts.
Are you for real?
Who the hell are you?!
Wait
Easy, please go easy on me
Please!
Tanaka
Put this on
Next, Yamazaki
Yamasaki, these are for you
Why must they wear them first?
Next, Hamada
(laughs)
what the hell, he's not wearing anything!
Why the hell is he naked?!
Why no underwear?
- -yeah why?
This is just wrong!
cut it out! already!
[Why did you keep putting your shorts back on?]
[Don't keep putting them on! Just give them to me!]
This can't be happening
[That's digusting!]
[Bare ass.]
[You farted on us with your bare ass.]
He's insane!
[The ball came from nowhere.]
Pro Golfer Monkey (Old Lady. 1)
Note: Pro golfer Saru(Monkey) is a classic cartoon & video game character
[She must've plopped the ball into the bath.]
[How many strokes?]
[Why?]
[Why?!]
Why did she kiss him?
[You were laughing from the pain.]
They really put the camera at a bad place for Tanaka.
He can't even relax
He looks like a Gunji Hiyoronka (Military spokesman)
Hamada is instructed to put on an Afro wig
[That laugh should have counted!]
Inside of the basket, this wig didn't look so big
I knew it wouldn't be a regular afro
So that's an "Afro"
Isn't it hot?
Why is it hot in here?
I wonder why
I just washed my hair, this is bad
It's hot
[We acted alike.]
[We were desperately trying not to laugh.]
Please stop staring at me like that
- -Huh?
[It accumulates, doesn't it?]
Weren't you staring at me for awhile?
Weren't you?
He was
He sure was
Hamada you suck!
Remove that wig now!
Die!
It messed up my hair
Die!
10:00 pm (8 hours past)
A usual guest is coming to visit the 3 men in their room
Yes?
Good Evening
I went to a wedding nearby
So I decided to drop by to say hello
Fukawa Ryo (Comedian)
And cheer you up
How are you holding up?
You look tired
Are you all right?
- -Fukawa-kun
What?
Please let me hear that "old saying" again
That speech is only for that occasion
Please let me hear that speech again
It's only for...
- -Just one time please
All right, promise me you'll leave right after
An old adage says there are 3 sacks vital for a happy marriage
Firstly,
the sack of nuts
The sack of nuts!
And it's the very first one!
Once more, please
- -no way
Sorry, everyone
Didn't you get what you wanted?
Hey
May I hear your "one phrase" joke?
Let me hear it once more, please
OK, only if you leave immediately after hearing it
Does it matter if the Chinese characters reads Hagiwara or Ogiwara?
Ogiwara or Hagiwara!
Are you satisfied now?
Ogiwara or Hagiwara!
- -Let me hear that speech again
You guys are too persistent!
Take them out!
Matsumoto once again devices a plan to bring more misery upon them
You scared me
It's Matsumoto-Kyoto
How its going?
How's it going-rolling?
You're moving faster than we did on any batsu game we've done so far
You wanna drink water-later?
Matsumoto can't contain his laughter
What's that all about?
What are you doing?
I'm here to lift up your spirits
Why do you look annoyed?
Tell me why-shy-thy
I'm here to help you
Why can't you speak normally?
I am speaking normally-formally
You know, I've got something for you
I wanna know what you think of these
- -What's in there?
Just take a look at these-cheese
Kuwano Nobuyoshi's (comedian) Driver's License.
Note: A gold license is given out to people who don’t have any points on their current driving license, this is an achievement usually limited to “paper” drivers – those who have a license but never actually drive!
He's got a gold card!
I'm sorry
I just wanted you to see it
Maybe you'll find this funny
Banjo Eiji (TV Talent)
You think this ... No? OK
It's for you, Hamada
Charlie Hama (Comedian)
He looks so blank
[Why do they've all have gold cards.]
They hit the same spot over and over
I really wish I could make them stop
But it doesn't work that way-say-hey
Try hard OK?
You're not even half way yet
You guys are kind of disgusting
I just don't get it, what's so funny? Why are you laughing?
Go easy on me please
See ya!
Good bye-eye
What?!
You rhymed
And Hamada laughed again
Cut it out!
I'll be leaving now
He ate us alive
Darth Vader (Old lady.1)
Are you alright?
What's this?
Darth Vader dropped a piece of his equipment
We had enough
11:00 pm (9 hours past)
They haven't eaten any food ever since they arrived at Yugawara
Maybe that's why they look so limp
It stinks!
You guys sure do stink!
Since you keep demanding food...
We'll get you some cho ... dinner
You want it?
- -Yes of course
You're pathetic!
We'll have dinner and refresh ourselves
OK? --OK.
Staying at the Inn Ijiri Okada (Comedian)
[This is weird.]
[I don't understand why he's there.]
[Who called him?]
What?!
Hamada gets a child's plate
For God's sake, give me some decent food
What are you doing here, Ijiri?
I had a gig at a nearby bar, doing impersonation acts
Tanaka spills his dinner
[The lid wouldn't open.]
Pantyhose
[What did you think it was?!]
[What made you think it was food?]
[I thought it was dried bean curd.]
Yamasaki almost ate a pair of pantyhose
[This is more confusing than funny.]
[You thought that was food?]
What the hell is that?
It's a pair of pantyhose, I almost ate it
I feel sick!
It was in the egg hotchpotch
Excuse me
In fact, today in the next room
there is E.Yazawa's Japan tour group
so it may be a little noisy. I'm sorry for the trouble
- -Thank you
I'm sorry but
it looks like it's starting
Eichan's towel can be seen
Eichan along with back band
Thank you very much!
Please have a wonderful time!
2 hours and half is tiring, huh
They dropped the dishes
Midnight (10 hours past)
With so many traps, one after the other, they are growing tired
If you guys don't have anything to talk about, let's go with Mr. Marick
What should we do with Mr. Marick?
Talk about him
Theme Mr. Marick
Doesn't he have another name?
What was it?
Don't you know?
Japanese name
Is it Matsuo Shokyokusai?
Matsuo..
What kind of name is that?
Where did that come from?
Another name
His Japanese name
Mr. Marick
What kind of name is Matsuo Shokyokusai?
This is because you mentioned about Matsuo Shokyokusai
Correct Information
Matsuo Gentousai
Mr. Marick's another name when he performs his magic show in Japanese costume
He surely does
I didn't know at all
When he dresses up like an old man?
Ah..I guess so
With Un-nan
Next theme is design perm
Theme Design perm
What is design perm like?
Well it's like..
What?
I got a perm, only on the top
Looks very natural
I think design perm is only partial
Is that so?
I think so.. who else got design perm?
I wonder who
Mostly
Mostly?
You are bad, Tanaka
What are you doing Tanaka? Really
I dont know what you mean by "Mostly"
Listen, today there's...
...a Hollywood star secretly staying at the Inn.
What?
He kindly said he wanted to say hello to you bums
You'll be stunned
Please come in
The Hollywood star Robert De Niro
[He really looks like him.]
[Especially when he smiles and cries.]
I've seen that face so many times
Teru (Comedian)
Good Evening
De Niro humoring a baby.
(Bump.)
[The door hit him.]
De Niro making...
Come on!
Give me a break!
Please!
No way that's in the script
That's just an intro
I swear I won't laugh again
De Niro performing a 'hammer throw'
Mr. De Niro is a busy man, He says he has to go
Consider yourself lucky
You know what, about the C3PO thing, give me a break
Oh yeah
When you hear the "ba ba ba ban" we had a different plan
Naka-C3PO (producer Nakamura)
When the door opened, Yinling was supposed to appear
Swimsuit model Yinling
But she had that thing on, so she couldn't open the door
We wanted you to laugh when Yinling entered the door
But you laughed just because of the door opening
Oh, really
ahh my stomach is sore, my ass is sore
and then, again gara gara (door opening sound)
He closes it again!
Again Nakamura appears!
Yeah that's true
"Ow, that hurt" Again he closes the door!
What the hell?
Get outta here!
1:00 am (11 hours past)
All 3 are tired after hours of torture
But that doesn't stop us from sending another assassin
Itao Itsuji (Comedian)
Itao takes out a rifle from the fishing bag
[He's so clumsy.]
[He's supposed to be a professional.]
[He kept trying again and again.]
[He doesn't realize that details do matter.]
Hello?
Yeah
A guy wearing black-rimmed glasses?
Let's not talk about it now
[What did they say?]
Yes?
Change of target?
A guy with contact lenses?
The sniper Itao, gets sniped
[He went to the wrong side.]
[That was definitely the wrong side.]
Anyone would be stunned by that
[Yeah, it's more startling than funny.]
I've been to Paris, 3 times
No way, really?
That many times?
Endo Matsumoto
Trying hard?
How's it going?
I'm trying my best but
my ass hurts more than ever...
Because you're laughing too much
He really laughs a lot
Really
Let's change the atmosphere
Let's play a game
Impersonation Game
Rule
Impersonate famous people while saying certain words
Ok let's start!
This is the first one
Kuwata Keisuke's impersonation of things katakana
Endo you start
Gadaru Kanaru Taka (person's name)
Ok? Gadaru
Hamada-san is smirking
Ok Fujiwara you next
Do Kuwata Kesukei impersonation
Nai fu! (Knife)
Why knife?
What did you say?
Knife
I didn't laugh at that
Watch this
I was safe
That's an Incredible whip!
Ok it's Tanaka's turn
Go Hiromi impersonating something about the Kansai region
Takoyaki
What that?
I can't do impersonations, it's hard
Ok Yamazaki
Okonomiyaki
Hamada-san your turn
No, Yamazaki again
Okonomiyaki
Yamazaki again
- -Okonomiyaki
Why do you keep repeating the same phrase?
Well maybe we shouldn't have come...
No, it was fun
If you wanted to say something, please say it now
Take off the glasses and talk
You're talking to me rudely, I'm getting disgusted
Hamada-san, you know...
if you have kids, you teach them to look at someone's eyes when you speak to them
Hamada!
Pass me
What?
Never mind. Fujiwara...
What are you talking about?
Fujiwara get them out of here
- -Take who out?
Who and who do you want out of here?
Say it clearly
Look at my face and tell me
HAMADA!
Give me a break already!
Damn He hits hard
Ok Fujiwara, should we go?
2:00AM (15 hours in the Batsu game)
Madam Fujiwara invites them to the temple next door
And then...
Beware the Damned!
Undead Warrior Heipo (Director)
Help me!
That looked painful
That was dangerous
I'm scared!
[Tanaka you were really scared]
So they enter the temple and the priest begins to show them scary pictures
Please take a look at this picture of some boys sitting down
Out of the 5 boys, 2 are Kishibe Shiro
This is a picture of a family playing
Please look closely
at the spots
Most of the spots are Kishibe Shiro
This is just a regular picture, but
there's something in the tea container
You can see clearly, it's Kishibe Shiro
So from now on, please be aware of Kishibe Shiro
Sniper Itao get shot in the back
[You guys were the targets]
3:00 am (12 hours past)
our 3 went to take a bath again
But there are cleverly-devised traps even in the bathroom
It's so cold
A mysterious woman is having a bath
The woman farts in the bath
[You guys looked stunned.] --[Yes, we were.]
Why did they call me out?
The rules are awfully tough
They don't care if we laugh or not anymore
Tanaka is instructed to put on a spooky mask
I'm going to pee
You did it just now
Tanaka, we're leaving now
Tanaka in a spooky mask
[Scary isn't it? --Yeah it is]
[ohh a strong swing]
Damn it, now my ass hurts a lot
That mask must be hot
It's very hot
Extremely hot
Tanaka enjoys looking at his masked face in the mirror
[You liked that mask, didn't you?]
(Gurgle)
Cut it out
What?
Try this on
Yeah, do it
Oh, this?
This is huge
[Come on.]
Ouch, that must've hurt
The Mad Brothers enter the room
Mad Endo Mad Matsumoto
The inn has a specialty
They have a kind of night show here
A sort of feast
You wanna go?
We can't have it here?
Of course not
it's a great show really
Night show?
I really want you to enjoy it, Hamada-san
You do?
- -Yes
Lets go
Now
If we must, let's just go now
That pose means, "let's go!"
Sucks for you
Why can't we just go!
How long are you gonna keep doing that?
Let's get going, now!
We're gonna go soon
That guy is so powerful
Hey, enough already...
Get the hell out! Now!
I said we will soon, OK?
Don't make those moves!
Hamada-san, you should come over here quickly
Maybe it's the angle
[What the hell are you doing!]
No way!
Haven't you had enough?
How much more are we supposed to take it?
OK, I got it we'll go right now
Stop it! Goddamn it!
Out! Now!
Please get out
We can't take it anymore
I promise I won't do it anymore
All 5 attend the nightly dinner show
They finally exit the room
They're on their way to see the night show.
The batsu game gets tougher and crueler
What awaits them?
Mysterious MC
Thank you for coming to the inn and this show
Tonight, we proudly present a wonderful dinner show
First up is an '80s superstar who's finally playing in Yugawara
Please give him a warm applause!
Yogiriyo Konya mo Arigato Ishihara Yujiro (Late singer and actor)- *The Japanese Sinatra. (Yutarou)
[What a sweet voice!]
They've laughed, but please watch without interruption.
Great!
Yujiro!
Awesome!
Add another blow
- -that must be tough
Up next, from the famous comedian agency, Yoshimoto...
the comedian better known as "The Comedy Commando."
Please give him a good clap.
Yamashita Shigenori (Comedian)
[You guys didn't clap.]
Yamashita splits!
Squash!
- 5 minutes later-
[It must have felt like an eternity.]
Let's just get to the next act
Also from Yoshimoto is a rising star, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed
Take it away!
Please watch our impressions and sound imitations
Jicho Kacho (Comedy Duo)
An old time radio.
(Oldie)
In 1945, Japan surrended and signed the US-Japan peace Treaty
Next is "an orangutan eating ants."
Next, Katsura Kinshi Shishou
Welcome, to the affairs of the state
When people line up
a long line
it was for Katsura Kinshi
That was a very good night show
Yes it was
You'll have a good memory
Next a veteran singing duo, the brothers Pinkara Kyodai
Onna no Michi Pinkara Kyodai (Nobu & Fukki)
[This guy also looks like the real person too]
4:00 am (14 hours past)
After the night show, it's time to hit the long-awaited bed
But...
Pro Golfer Monkey comes in
Pro Golfer Monkey (Old lady.1)
[I felt so sleepy.]
[So did she, We had to drag her out of bed.]
[You made her wear this thing again.]
[What is she doing?]
[We had no idea what she was going to do to us.]
She tickled me
[She's using the big guns.]
A deep kiss for good-night
[Rape.]
Score one for her
Disgusting!
Hamada-san, this is unbearable
Isn't it a bomb?
- -it sure is
You better go to the bathroom
Excuse me
I'm going to wash my mouth
Yamasaki runs to the bathroom to wash his mouth.
It would be hilarious if she were to be at the doorway when he comes out
Is she ready?
Tell her to go if she's ready
Hamada wraps himself in the futon
Tanaka is just astonished
[Why is he out?]
Doomed!
Doomed! Yama-chan is doomed!
- 30 minutes later-
Tonight is Yamada(Crucial)
Yamada Hussein
Note: It's supposed to mean, when properly pronounced, "Tonight is a crucial night.
Give me a break!
- Bed Time-
They went to sleep shortly thereafter.
After a short sleeping period, it's time to wake up
Wake up guys!
Wake up
Come on, guys
The Batsu game isn't over yet
[Huh?]
Come on, Yamasaki.
I completely forgot about the No-Laughing rule
[Oh, come on!]
[You thought you were in your house?]
All 3 are groggily having breakfast
And there comes unexpected news.
Hamada, this is the morning paper
You like the sports section, right?
Hamada is in no hurry to read the paper
It's good.
Yugawara Post: "Dynamite Shikoku Pulls a Muscle Again!!"
[He's too weak.]
[This is funny.]
[I like the word, "again." He had done it before.]
[Tanaka, you have no tolerance to Shikoku.]
[I read the paper carefully. It's well-written.]
[It's very detailed.]
This early in the morning, that sucks
Tanaka
Read this Article about Escargot man
About Escargot man
Interview?
This newspaper looks like a real sports page
There's an article about Dynamite Shikoku getting injured and his surprising fight
He tried he best to fight with the champion Escargot man
but he lost the fight after 58 seconds into the 1st round
He lasted only 58 seconds
Just 58 seconds
He lost in 58 seconds!
Yamasaki suddenly decides to do a De Niro impression
Shit!
(Bump)
[That's been there all the while!]
[I can't blame you guys for laughing.]
[No way wouldn't we laugh.]
You can't do that
You work today?
Yes
I wonder what time it is
Me too
They never let us know what time it is
Tonight is YAMADA(Crucial)
So persistent
If it keeps coming like that, we're done
(Bump)
[Why!]
Come on, Yama-chan, enough is enough
We should stop attacking each other
Yama-chan, knock it off
You looked at me with that funny look of yours
It's not like that was your first time walking there
Fujiwara dressed as Bruce Lee (Game of Death)
It's almost time to check out
So let's go to the lobby
Fujiwara Lee talks to Hamada with his face almost touching Hamada's
Hamada
[Too close.]
[Yeah, it's too close.]
Asshole
That landed hard
Why aren't you in your landlady's outfit?
Why Bruce Lee?
All hotel employees are here
Let's thank them
Come here
Thank you very much for staying at out inn
Thank you, sirs
As a sign of our gratitude, we have a present for you
Dynamite Shikoku pops out from the box
Everyone
On the count of 3...
Shikoku! Shikoku!
[Look at the cleaning lady.]
That jackass, at the very end, too!
A day from hell is now over
Matsumoto Hitoshi
[Don't use my song!]
They can't think of anything...
but their painful asses...
[Don't use my song!]
Number of times participants were whipped: No. 3 Tanaka Naoki 64 times
Number of times participants were whipped: No. 2 Yamazaki Hosei 72 times
Number of times participants were whipped: No. 1 Hamada Masatoshi
Number of times participants were whipped: No. 1 Hamada Masatoshi 78 times
That was pretty funny
Tanaka you didn't get hit much
Hamada-san you were #1
Last time I was #1, but it was 52 hits
This was very different
20 hits more than me
Nakai's Shikoku Shikoku was great
Yes it was
- -She was great
She's great
Watch the Serving lady!
[She's amazing!]
[She did it perfectly]
Enough with this song!
Stop using this song!
Yeah, but it's you singing so we can
Yes
Well, no wonder it played twice
Well shall we end here
Yes after the song finishes
Thank you everyone