AISubs v3.5
Hollywood is the highest level of entertainment.
It's a dream stage that every entertainer dreams of.
A set of pranks in which super famous directors of Hollywood movies come and the main role auditions are held.
Last time, Endo was deceived.
This time, the targets are Kohori, Seiji of the Chihara brothers, and three ugly comedians in Hong Kong who are 130 years old.
How will the pranks end up?
Thank you for your cooperation.
(Knock on the door)
Excuse me.
Oh, hello.
Thank you for coming.
Thank you for having me.
Actually, I think you've already heard about it, but
a Hollywood superstar director is looking for a leading role for his next film every day.
I'd like you to audition for me today.
Thank you for coming.
Thank you for having me.
It's about time.
I'll show you to the audition hall.
Thank you for your patience.
We will now begin the audition.
First of all, I would like to introduce the director and cast of the film.
Please.
THE BODYGUARD
Now, I would like to announce the title of the film audition that will be held today.
The title is...
"THE BODYGUARD"!
The production cost of this film is 2.5 billion yen.
Today's audition is for the leading role of "the bodyguard".
I asked Kougyo Yoshimoto of the largest entertainment agency in Japan for this audition.
The three most handsome men came and auditioned for me.
Now, I would like to introduce the cast of "THE BODYGUARD".
First of all, Itanji of the SF world.
His overflowing talent goes beyond the wall of words.
His film "Ganges River Lover".
And, James "Creamy" Caramel, who won the Hollywood Film Festival's Olive Award for two years in a row for "Space Romantic".
Hello.
And, the world's singing queen.
She has a powerful seven-octave voice and has sold 20 million CDs in total.
In this film, her ultimate "nice body" will also be shown without restraint.
Ms. Whitney Busedon, who plays the heroine.
Hello.
And, as a genius child actor, she will have a big break in "Home Alone".
And, as a genius IT boy, she will play a villainous boss.
She is Butcher Osmond.
And "Silent Battlefield," in which Ibushi Gin's acting shines,
and "Death on a Hill" and many other representative works.
At the Hollywood Film Festival, he won Best Supporting Actor for 12 years in a row.
Mr. Bob, playing the role of Sushiano Itachou, who plays the role of the heroine's dresser.
Welcome.
Next is "Enemy or Ally?"
It's Thomas Mcgregor, playing the role of the mysterious Catwoman,
It looks like the plane is two bottles late, so we will introduce you to it as soon as it arrives.
Now, Mr. James, please audition.
Yes.
Well, first of all, the basics of acting.
The greatest weapon of a man of color.
I would like you to sneeze with a nosebleed.
Please stand by.
Enemy or Ally?
Sorry.
You are welcome, sorry.
Now, if you are ready...
From the director.
Yes.
The director will sneeze, so please do it.
Yes!
*spit*
*cough*
Okay, okay.
Yes.
Next.
Yes, that's fine.
Then, next person, please.
OK. That's enough.
Next person, please.
[coughing]
Yes, well...
Brother?
You're brothers, aren't you?
Brother? No, we're not.
No, we're not.
You looked like brothers a lot, so I thought you were brothers.
No, we're not at all.
Well, everyone, I'm looking forward to seeing you all dressed up like tough guys.
Okay, then I'd like to move on to the next acting task.
Bodyguards can't always look away from their clients.
That means you have to eat quickly, too.
So, please eat up the xiao long bao you're about to eat.
Standby, please.
Wow!
Okay, one at a time.
Okay, starting with number one.
[coughing]
Anyway, speed up.
Go!
Stop!
Faster.
Please eat faster.
[coughing]
Go! Go!
That won't help you at all.
You're too slow.
Please eat faster.
[coughing]
That's ridiculous.
I'd like you to leave if you're that tough.
Thank you for waiting.
We're sorry for the delay.
Mr. Thomas McGregor, playing the role of Gatowman, has arrived.
Please come in.
Konnichiwa!
Konnichiwa.
Do you like tempura?
Do you eat natto?
I do.
Thank you.
Now, I'd like you to show us a little more acting.
The enemy of the bodyguard is not limited to humans.
Sometimes they are attacked by wild animals.
So now I'm going to give you a panther.
Think of it as a poisonous snake.
You are about to be swallowed up by the snake from your head.
Please act it out.
Are you ready?
Yes.
Start!
(gibberish)
Cut!
Bravo!
Wonderful!
It was quite a crowd-pleasing performance.
I love this kind of play. It's really wonderful.
Excellent!
Yes. Next, I'd like to see everyone's sense of rhythm and sense of dance.
Please show your sexy dance to the person in the fridge.
Are you ready?
Yes.
Start!
Dance sexier! Sexier!
Put your emotions into it!
Ah... ah... ah...
- Ah... ah... ah... ah... ah... - Ah... ah... ah... ah...
- Gas! - Yes, it's okay.
- O.K.! - It's okay.
- Exciting! - It was wonderful.
- Beautiful! - Yes, it was very wonderful.
- I was moved. - Brother?
- You're brothers, right? - Yes, we are.
- Twin? - No, we're not.
- Are you twins? - No, we're not.
Okay, thank you very much.
The next story is about a bodyguard and a heroine falling in love.
I'd like you three to act out a kiss scene.
Okay, number one.
Act out a kiss scene against a pot.
Action!
Act out a kiss scene against a pot.
Okay!
Okay, okay, okay.
Action!
I've hungered for your touch for a long lonely time.
Okay, cut!
Beautiful.
Excellent!
I'd like you to act out a kiss scene.
Action!
Okay, cut!
Okay, that's good.
Very nice.
Wonderful.
Thank you.
Wonderful.
There may not be anyone who suits a love scene like you do.
That's what he's saying.
Okay, okay, okay.
Wonderful.
Yes.
Okay, let's continue.
Please show me the action scene.
Um... I'm going to wink at you all.
Yes.
Please let me record that.
Genius IT boy will try to understand anything by recording it.
Yes.
Okay, everyone, please stand up.
Would you mind taking a little break?
Um... Okay?
Okay.
Bye!
(Laughter)
OK!
Yes, that's fine. Thank you very much.
Yes, then I will return it to you.
(Laughter)
OK!
Yes, that's fine. Yes, yes, yes.
At this point, the three judges' results are lined up perfectly.
85 points, 85 points, 85 points.
Wonderful!
(Applause)
Then...
The last audition.
Yes, I would like you to do the last audition.
Yes, in the movie's climax scene, there is a scene where the bodyguard is shot.
Yes, yes, yes.
I would like you to play that scene.
Yes.
Then, please change your clothes.
Yes.
Please get ready.
Yes.
Yes. Yes.
And now...
His face is like a sushi restaurant where the heroine goes.
In fact, his true identity is a hitman who aims at the heroine...
Mr. Bob. Please fire your pistol.
Oui.
Please stand by.
Welcome!
Fire!
Excellent!
Wonderful! Really wonderful!
Thank you very much.
It was a very wonderful audition.
Okay, okay.
Yes.
Well then, I would like to begin the judging.
Thank you very much.
Thank you for waiting.
I will announce the results of the audition.
Mr. James, please.
Okay.
Okay, I will announce it.
The bodyguard audition.
The passers-by are...
Mr. Kato over there!
Y-yes.
Oh, yes.
Please allow me to explain.
Yes.
But ever since you entered this venue,
you have always been interested in him, haven't you?
No, no.
He says that your sweet mask fits perfectly with the image of the movie.
Yes.
But you haven't done anything with it, have you?
His Matsuken Samba?
Yes, yes, yes.
The Matsuken Samba that is popular now.
Matsuken Samba!
Matsuken Samba by Mr. Kato.
Oh, I would like to see it.
Ladies and gentlemen...
It's like, "Well, well, even if you ignore the traffic lights, you can't get in."
Because you can't get in! You can never get in!
But if you get in the intersection, you can get in.
Well, well, well, that's right.
You can get in.
So I thought, "Well, well, well, I can't go in. There's a lot of people coming in."
I thought, "Well, well, well, I can't go in."
I was about five cars behind.
So I went "whoooa!"
Like, "Go ahead!"
Hey, car in front of you, stop!
Whooa, whooa, whooa, whooa!
"What? No way!" I thought.
But even if you ignore the traffic lights, you can't get in!
But it's obviously different, isn't it?
Well, it's different, but...
Well, this is like...
Kansai style, you know?
This is Kansai style?
Even in Kansai, you can't get in!
Even if you ignore the traffic lights...
Yeah, well, I thought it was weird.
Do you usually tell people to stop?
Well, well, I'll stop.
Whoooa, whoooa!
One person came up to me and said, "No, you can't!"
If you say that...
You'll end up ignoring the traffic lights!
Huh?
This is pretty hopeful, isn't it?
Ignore the traffic lights!
If you say you'll ignore the traffic lights...
You'll end up ignoring the traffic lights!
Is this okay?
Well, this is pretty hopeful, isn't it?
If you say you'll ignore the traffic lights...
Huh?
Right, right, right!
Well, you know, there was one where you didn't look at the traffic lights.
Oh, I didn't look at them, did I?
"Well, you know, that's just a matter of principle," said the officer.
"That's just a matter of principle," he said.
"Well, you know, cars are a little complicated these days," he said.
Could I look up cars for you?
Sure, of course.
"But, wait a minute," he said.
Well, you know, I don't know about this.
"If you're a talent, you don't usually look at cars like that," he said.
But, you know, if you do that...
Huh? Is that it?
If you ask me, that's it.
So, instead of me nagging you about this and that,
there's a high chance you'll look at the car and say, 'Okay, I'll be careful.'
"But, you know, I don't think it's something you should be worried about," he said.
He lifted up the trunk of the car.
"Wait a minute," he said.
"There's another one who looks like a talent," he said.
"Whoa," he said.
Hey, Macchan!
What's wrong with you, Macchan?!
Come on!
He lifted up the trunk of the car.
Hey, hey! That's enough!
Didn't you notice?!
You sounder monster!
That's enough!
You don't have to give up!
He lifted up the trunk of the car.
"But, Macchan, I'm sorry," he said.
Can you let me use your ticket?
No way!
I'd love to see his "Matsuke Samba" performance!
Please look forward to it!
Matsuken Samba, Oh Yeah! Oh Yeah!
Matsuken Samba, Anda Kosho
Kami ga Otobose Yoriha
Nemusane Wasurete Odoriakasou
Samba, Viva Samba!
Matsuken Samba, Oh Yeah!
Samba, Viva Samba!