AISubs v3.5
Hello.
Usually, when I watch TV...
To be honest, I was wondering what kind of person would get pranked.
I didn't think it would have anything to do with me...
But this time, I got pranked.
I think you can see it if you look here.
Please have a look.
The highest level of entertainment that everyone admires...
Hollywood!
From such a super famous director in Hollywood...
Endo has been asked to audition three times.
But!
That audition is a complete lie!
Tonight, Endo will show you a lot of his "red pages"!
Endo Kokoriko's Prank Program "Dream of Hollywood Debut - Red Pages Audition"!
Thank you for coming.
This way, please.
I'm going to Hollywood today, but I haven't heard anything about it.
I haven't heard anything about it.
As a duo?
No, just Endo.
Just me?
Hollywood?
What kind of movie is it?
I haven't heard of it at all.
Yes!
Good morning!
Yes.
So, Mr. Endo.
Yes.
As we talked about on the phone.
Yes.
A Hollywood movie director is coming for the audition for his next work.
Yes.
And I happened to see you on TV.
So, I'd like you to show your acting skills today.
Thank you for coming today.
The director seems to like you very much.
Yes.
He said you're an Oscar candidate for next season.
Yes.
That's right.
Yes.
Well, it's about time.
Yes.
Let's talk about the venue first.
Already?
Is it an audition?
Yes.
This program is brought to you by the following sponsors.
This is the venue.
Yes.
Thank you.
Please take a seat over there.
Yes.
Please wait a moment.
Thank you for waiting.
The audition will now begin.
First of all, I'd like to introduce you to the director of this movie and the cast.
Please welcome them with a round of applause.
Please.
Now, I'd like to announce the title of the movie that will be auditioned for today.
The title is...
"Last Smiley", or "Smiley Reverse".
The production cost of this movie is 250 million yen.
Filming will be carried out all over the world from this summer.
Now, I'd like to introduce you to the director and cast of "Last Smiley".
First of all, we have the co-star of "Kisai to Tensai", the movie "Towa de Aimashou"...
and the director, James Van Houden, who has been shining at the Cannes Film Festival's popular show in Akaikawa for two consecutive years.
Hello.
And now, I'd like to introduce you to Tom Thunder, who plays America's Smiley, a friend of Hollywood.
And now, I'd like to introduce you to America's Smiley's lover, who plays America's Smiley, a Chinese father who was born between an American mother and an American father.
And now, I'd like to introduce you to Thomas MacGregor, who plays America's Smiley, who will play America's Smiley later in the film.
Now, director, please.
Yes, yes.
And now, I'd like to start the audition for "Last Smiley."
This time, you'll be playing "Samurai Smiley," a 14-year-old actor who will be the theme of the film.
By the way, I heard the gallery is worth two million dollars.
Two million dollars...
And now, first of all, you'll be doing "Samurai Smiley's Smiley."
The director will give you briefs and lipsticks, so please change into them and get your hair done.
M-m-my... my pants.
What?
My pants.
No, thank you. Thank you.
It's okay. It's weirder now.
It's okay.
Ouch!
Sorry!
Are you ready?
Yes.
First of all, please smile.
Yes!
Smile!
Yes!
Thank you very much.
Get out!
I saw something terrible.
Please get out of here.
Next, please.
Yes!
Smile!
Yes!
Thank you very much.
Are you ready?
I saw something terrible.
Please get out of here.
Next, please.
Yes!
Smile!
Yes!
Thank you very much.
It's a waste of time.
Get out of here.
Thank you very much.
Lastly, please smile.
Do you know the rhythm of samba?
Smile!
Excellent!
Great!
I saw something terrible.
Thank you very much.
He said it might be perfect for a samurai smile.
Thank you very much.
Thank you for waiting.
Thomas MacGregor, who played Maho Hohoi, has arrived.
Please come in.
Hello!
Mr. Endo, we would like to see your skills a little more, so please act a little.
Excellent!
Next, the assistant director will hit you with a feather pillow.
Yes.
Please act after that.
Yes, after that.
After you were hit.
Yes.
Ugh…
Actually, a lesson!
Thank you very much.
It was very wonderful.
Ms. Endo.
Yes?
Yes, Mr. Endo…
Yes.
I'm a big fan of Japanese director Takeshi Kitano.
I'd like you to do an impersonation of Director Kitano.
- Yes. - An impersonation?
- Yes. - It may not be very similar, but I'll do it.
Hey!
Duncan! You bastard!
You always wear your underpants again, you bastard!
You, Duncan, you bastard!
Come on, you bastard!
What's wrong with you, you bastard?
You told me to turn the car, didn't you?
Turn it, you bastard!
You've only been playing golf, haven't you?
You bastard!
You've only been playing golf, haven't you?
What's going on?
Mr. Endo, you have a good sense of rhythm, but I'd like you to do a tap dance.
I'd like you to show me just the shape of it.
(Applause)
Excellent!
It's wonderful.
Your dance is really beautiful.
(Applause)
It's really beautiful.
It's wonderful.
Thank you.
In this work, you will do one of the very important scenes.
There is a scene where a samurai who has become a woman's smile is found and beaten up by a woman's smile.
Yes.
Could you show me?
Yes.
It's okay. I can't hit you, so don't worry about it.
Thank you.
Can you show me?
Okay.
I will find a woman's smile.
A samurai who has become a woman's smile is found and beaten up by a woman's smile.
Yes.
I can't hit you, so don't worry about it.
Thank you.
No!
(Music)
Yes!
Yes.
Thank you very much.
It's very beautiful. Your play is very good.
Thank you.
In this movie, you will play the bait scene of the climax scene.
The main character, America Smiley, has homosexual hair.
There is a bait scene with Samurai Smiley.
Yes.
You will play that part with Tom.
(Music)
In this movie, you will play the bait scene of the climax scene.
The main character, America Smiley, has homosexual hair.
There is a bait scene with Samurai Smiley.
Yes.
You will play that part with Tom.
(Music)
Thank you very much.
(Music)
OK?
Yes!
(Music)
No, no, no, no.
(Music)
No, no, no, no, no.
(Music)
No, no, no!
Sorry!
No! Sorry!
No, no, no!
No!
Ouch, ouch, ouch!
No, no, no!
Ouch, ouch, ouch!
No, no, no, no, no!
(Music)
Gaku!
(Music)
No, no, no!
Tom!
(Music)
What are you doing?
Sorry, sorry.
You made me angry!
Sorry.
(Music)
Oh!
Happening!
Oh!
Tom!
Gaku!
(Music)
No!
Endo! Endo!
Endo! Here! Here!
Over there! Over there!
Yes! Prank! Prank!
Big success!
What are you doing?
Hey!
I don't know!
Who knows this?
Wait a minute!
What are you doing?
Look at the camera!
Don't sit in front of the camera!
Look!
Look at the camera!
I'm surprised!
What did you say?
I don't know!
Is this movie a lie?
It's the worst!
It's a double prank!
It's the worst!
Say it!
What did you say?
It's the worst!
It's a double prank!
It's the worst!
I'm sorry!
I thought I could do it!
Everyone, look around!
Say it!
I am Asian Papillon!
Hamada's...
You can't get in front of me anymore!
I'm an Asian Papillon!
Hamada's an Asian Papillon!
But I still like my mama.
Good evening. I'm Zandan. Nice to meet you.
I'm Zandan of Yoshimoto Industry. Nice to meet you.
Sorry for calling you "fuck" before the show.
Not at all.
How can you call me "fuck" when you don't have an oscillet?
That's right.
I mentioned it in a different show before.
I make a tissue bomb.
What? What? What? This is interesting.
When I don't have an oscillet.
Then tell me.
About tissue bombs?
Yes.
How do you make tissue bombs?
How do you use it?
First you open it and see if there's anything missing, right?
Yes, you do.
Then you make three of them.
Actually, there are two.
You go to the jacuzzi and pour water in it.
Oh, I see!
Then you put two wet tissue bombs here...
Then you put it in this tissue bomb tray...
First you use a good-sized tissue bomb...
I see!
Then you shake it like this...
This is a tray, so you can only use it once!
You should make it yourself!
No, no! You can't leave it like that!
If you put it in like that, you'll be like "Whoa!"
Whoa!
What are you saying?
You should make it first.
I see!
That's right.
We didn't have much time today, so we made three of them.
Tissue bombs?
Yes, tissue bombs.
It's hard to use tissue bombs.
Oh, is it?
You know...
What?
If you don't make the water right...
I see.
It'll get all wet.
I know, I know.
This is like Moroha's sword.
What are you saying?
When I hit it, it went "Pssssh!"
You...
No matter how you hold it...
Oh, I see.
If you don't wet it well...
It'll get all wet and go "Pssssh!"
You'll be like "No!"
No, you...
This is the only thing you should be careful of.
We made three of them and used two of them pretty early.
Then we used the dry one...
Yes, yes.
At the end, right?
Then we used the last tissue bomb...
Let's do it again.
We did it...
And you know, it's all wet.
Then we used the clean one...
And we did it...
And it went "Psssh!"
What?!
Matsumoto-san confesses that he is a cat human being and then sells a book that he has been working on for 5 years.
Could you tell me what kind of book it is?
It was amazing, wasn't it? Being born as a cat human being.
My mother told me when I was a little boy, "You are a cat human being."
I've been watching you for a long time, but I've never thought you were a cat human being as a human being.
Do you have patience? Do you have patience for becoming a cat human being?
I do. I do.
You are standing now, right? It's comfortable, right?
It's really hard for me.
Now?
Which one is the most comfortable for you?
I really want to be like you!
But if you do it, you will be called a cat human being.
It's already known, but...
I see.
No, it's okay for you to talk to me comfortably.
No, no. It's hard for me to look you in the eye.
No, it's okay for me...
I will be more and more spoiled.
No, it's okay for you to look me in the eye and talk to me comfortably.
Just hearing you say that makes my heart flutter.
There's nothing wrong with it.
But you're a human cat, not a cat.
It's not just about posture.
Come to think of it, you used to say "one" instead of "two".
Because you didn't want to be found out?
That's right.
Are you kidding me?
No, that's how it is.
But that's about it.
I was holding it in.
Being a human cat?
Yes.
No, it's not like that.
What is?
Being a human cat is painful.
You can tell by the weather.
But when you said "is it going to rain tomorrow?" I didn't know what you were talking about.
And like this, I didn't know what you were talking about, but my hands kept going like this.
Because of COVID-19.
This is what happens when there's a lot of people.
You can eat anything, right?
Yes, you're right.
But I don't like pedigree stuff.
I don't like convenience stores either.
There's more down there.
No, no.
Can I bite you?
No, there's no cat here.
But you can eat it in secret, right?
You ate it without thinking, right?
Right?
Can I bite you with this?
Don't panic.
Eat it slowly.
Eat it like this.
It's not going to open.
It's so sharp!
It's too sharp!
You're writing about your daughter in this book, right?
That's right.
I am really a cat.
Right?
Ay!
Hohohoi! Hohohoi! Hohohoi!
Thank you very much.
Time is precious. Please exit the room.
Now please smile.
(Clap)
(Clap) Hey!
(Sniffle)
Thank you
(Sniffle)
This program was brought to you by modern sponsors.