AISubs v3.5
On May 4th, Kokoriko Endo and Chiaki's long- awaited daughter were born.
Her name is Iroha-chan. Endo became a happy father.
She's cute.
I'm glad.
I'm really glad.
But...
I didn't think you'd bring her here.
Well...
I didn't think you'd bring her here.
It's stupid to act like that.
It's not acting.
It's cute.
She looks like you.
Really?
It doesn't look like you.
She says you look like her.
Good morning.
- You might know her... - The twins were born.
- They were born.
Good morning.
The cute baby was born to Nakagawa family's son Tsuyoshi.
As expected, the twins were born twice as happy!
Congratulations on double!
What kind of girls did you meet?
Ten and Ao.
- Boys. - So cute.
- Poor thing. - Poor thing.
- Poor thing, right? - No, not at all.
- Poor thing. - You're just unlucky.
- Poor thing. - Poor thing.
- I see.
- You're close with Iwaya Agen. - Yes.
- I see. - Well...
- Yamazaki and... - Since you came...
- Downtown. - Three of you together...
- Yeah. - I see.
- I think...
- The order is reversed.
- What do you mean? - Well...
- I haven't received it yet...
- So I can't give it to you. - No, but...
- But Iwaya Agen said...
- No, but...
- He didn't say he wanted the money.
- It's okay. - No, the order is different.
- Yes, yes. - No, the order is different.
- You said you'd give it to me, but it's okay.
- No, but it's weird.
- You said you'd give it to me, but it's okay. - Which one was born first?
- You said you'd give it to me, but it's okay. - This one was born first.
- No, but...
- The way you were together...
- But you haven't received it yet, right?
- You said you'd give it to me.
- No, but...
- You said you'd give it to me, but it's okay.
- No, but the order is different.
- You said you'd give it to me, but it's okay.
- Yes, yes.
- You said you'd give it to me, but it's okay. - What are you talking about?
- Hey, hey, hey!
- Stop it. - Stop it.
- Stop it, you guys.
- The order...
- Even if you say that...
- It's weird. - It's weird.
- It's weird for you to give it to me.
- It's like you came without asking.
- What do you mean "came without asking"?
- You came to say hello, didn't you?
- You said you'd give it to me, but it's weird, right?
- Stop it, stop it!
- Weren't you the one who gave it to me?
- Who gave it to you?
- It's you, it's you. - How many years has it been?
- Eleven years. - Eleven years.
- How many years has it been?
- Eleven years.
- It's almost the same.
- Well, you know...
- It came out in a different way, because we do it in Tokyo.
- Then, what do you say next time? - Same motive?
- Next time is not about motive. - Same motive. - I was embarrassed to say the motive.
- You said it as if you were embarrassed. - What are you saying?
- You said it every time. - What are you saying?
- Do you remember this story? - What is it?
- I was doing a radio show in Nagoya for a week.
And suddenly, the director and producer said me to be a boy band.
Why?
That's why I'm asking you.
Why?
I asked "why" and he said "because he's more famous".
Because he's on "youtube".
You're only on "youtube" once a month.
Yeah, you're right.
You stopped working. You only stopped working in theaters.
I got a job, you know.
You stopped working at that time, didn't you?
I don't know! It's selfish of me!
What do you mean? You're the only ones who have a job!
I don't know! It's selfish of me!
That's why you're running away first.
Stop it! Stop it!
Here's a suggestion from Matsumoto, who didn't think it would be collected.
It's like a love for children.
I see.
It's like a love for children.
I see.
For example, you can do a joke in front of children and the one who gets it will get a reward.
It's like a love for children.
I see.
But you haven't done it in front of children, have you?
No, I haven't.
I see.
Well, I don't know about you, but what about you, Yamazaki?
I've done it before.
I'm a genius on TV and I'm the best in Yamazaki.
I'm grabbing children's hearts.
What?
You're doing it now.
I'm doing it now.
You're doing it now.
So...
So what do you do when you grab children's hearts?
And from Yamazaki, we'll have a "what do you do when you grab children's hearts?" lecture.
After this, we'll have a competition to see who grabs children's hearts.
All right! This time for sure!
This program is brought to you by the following sponsors.
"Guts-no-Kisai" Civic Theatre!
Wow!
Hey, Yama-chan!
It's Yama-chan!
Everyone!
Breasts!
Now, I will tell you all a little story!
Once upon a time, there were an old man and an old woman.
The old man had just gone to the mountains, and the old woman had come to the river for laundry.
As the old woman was doing the laundry in the river, a big, big poop came flowing from above the river!
The old man had just gone to the mountains, and the old woman had come to the river for laundry.
From now on, there will be two groups of big friends!
And since there will be two groups, you can decide later which one of you had more fun!
- Yes! - Yes! Do you understand?!
- Yes! - Yes!
Now, first, let's welcome the big brother of Kogoriko! Everyone, give him a round of applause!
Oh, it's open! It's open!
I'm so hungry! I'm so hungry!
I haven't eaten anything for three days!
I'm so hungry!
That's it! Let's call Anpanman! Anpanman!
Hey!
Ah! Anpanman?
Are you the one who called me?
Huh? Are you Anpanman?
No, no, no! Anpanman is not coming today!
Instead, my brother is here!
Who is your brother?
My brother's name is...
Butt-panman!
Butt-panman?
Look! His head is shaped like a butt, right?
That's right! His butt is chubby!
What's wrong with you today?
Well, I'm hungry and I haven't eaten anything!
Alright! Then I'll give you this!
What is it?
Eat my butt!
No! I don't want to eat your butt!
This butt is delicious!
Really?
Chew, chew!
Huh? I'm chewing!
Ah! It's delicious!
Do you want to eat it too?
Yes!
Then tear it apart and eat it!
Yes! Give it to me!
Ah! It stinks! It stinks! It stinks! It stinks!
My butt stinks!
I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
My brother's butt stinks!
Stop saying my butt stinks! It stinks! It stinks!
Alright! Tear it apart and eat it again!
Yes!
Ah! It stinks! It stinks! My butt stinks!
It came out again!
Alright! This time for sure!
Ah! It stinks! It stinks! It stinks! It stinks! It stinks!
Alright! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
I'm really sorry!
Eat this!
Yes!
Huh? Huh?
It's delicious!
Right?
Yes!
Hey! Hey! Where did it come from?
My butt came from my buttocks!
Your buttocks?
Yes!
My buttocks are like stars that are split in half
Yes! Yes!
And between them, a stinky smell comes out!
It's a fart! It stinks! It stinks!
That's it! That's it!
It stinks! It stinks! It stinks!
See, it's like this!
Stop it!
It stinks!
I hate it! I hate it! I hate farts!
It stinks! It stinks!
Isn't it?
Sometimes, the center of the star is split in half and a brown object comes out of it!
Huh? That's...
Poop!
I hate poop!
From that buttocks star, you already have a souvenir!
Souvenir?!
Look inside the land cell!
What is it?! What is it?!
I'm excited! I'm excited!
Is it in here?!
What is it?!
Huh?!
Hey!
It's poop!
I hate it!
(Screaming)
What's up, ass-panda?!
This sound is...
...some kind of ass-related incident!
Huh?! You should've said that earlier!
Would you like to come fight with me?!
No! I don't want that!
You refuse?!
Yeah!
If you refuse...
...your mama and papa will be covered in poop!
I don't want to be covered in poop! I'm going!
Then let's go!
(Screaming)
Poop! Poop! Poop!
Okay!
That was Kokoriko's brothers.
But you got thrown in the middle, didn't you?
When you meet them, you can get mad!
I'm mad!
With my elephant nose!
I'm mad!
Okay!
Let's see the brothers of the Nakagawa family!
Everyone, applause! Nakagawa family!
Nakagawa family
Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!
Butt! Butt! Butt!
Butt! Poop! Poop!
Ah!
Ah! This was poop!
- Wait, no... - He picked it up and threw it away.
Come on, let's beg for something.
Now, is it correct or not?
Oh, you are right.
You have five poops.
Five poops and three butts.
Butts.
And you have a fart.
Oh, you are funny.
If anyone does something bad to you, you should take two million yen and tell him.
You know, you got this money.
Who are you doing it for?
Now you have done two groups, but those who think it was interesting, please run in preparation.
Not yet, not yet, not yet, not yet!
Let's go!
This way or that way, let's go!
Ready, go!
Eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen!
Eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen!
And so, Kokoriko wins!
Kokoriko wins!
Thank you!
Kogoriko came out on "M-1" with this joke this year.
It's pretty dirty, isn't it?
You won't win, sis!
By the way, Reiji, who are you doing this joke to?
That's for adults only!
I didn't have that attitude!
Shut up!
I'm shy!
M-1
And... and...
There's a lot, right?
Right?
And...
Now...
What is it? What is it?
What should we do for the punishment game?
Punishment... punishment game?
What should we do?
I wonder what punishment we will get!
Are you talking about bowling?
That's right.
We just had fun bowling.
There is no punishment for us.
We don't know what it means at all.
What are you saying?
If we lose, we will be in trouble.
You said it a lot.
This punishment is tough.
It's tough, isn't it?
It will increase gradually, isn't it?
I wonder what we will do.
But you are too good at it, aren't you?
You went bowling alone and had fun.
All four of us went bowling.
You got hit by a handkerchief.
In the end, you even got hit by a bottle.
And you even had a girlfriend.
You are really...
You are a professional.
You are really stupid.
Why didn't you do it before? You did it without thinking.
I wonder what you did.
If you did it without thinking...
It was a great show.
I don't know what to do.
If it's not tough, it doesn't make sense.
Mentally and physically.
I'm sorry.
As a professional bowler, I'm an "s".
I'm not your "jm" anymore.
That's right.
People like you don't know what's going on.
That's why I'm scared.
We all have "i" somewhere in our bodies.
Why?
We really have "i".
Really?
It comes out of our pockets.
We put it in and it comes out.
We can't help it.
Was there "i" in past bowling games?
Of course there is "i".
What is it?
I wonder if it's okay.
I don't know what you think of it, but there was "i" hotel before, right?
I've been depressed for about a week now!
I really don't like it!
Depressed and depressed...
I know, we're experiencing it, but you're such a demon!
You're so mentally and physically...
Yamagaki said it too, "it's the most useless thing I've ever used."
The most? Do it for 48 hours!
No, no, no, no...
I'm sorry, I'm sorry...
But if it's not "it's the most useless thing I've ever used," it's meaningless.
It's just that we don't have money for this show anymore.
We only have 20,000 yen.
I don't know...
We can't do anything!
We can only make a little fuss!
Is 20,000 yen impossible?
You've thought it through, right?
But, you know, there's four of us, right?
Yeah.
And, you know, Yamanagi didn't get seriously injured or anything like that.
You know, in the TV world.
Yes, yes, yes.
And Gyute is still young.
Yes, yes, yes.
So, you know, he's still young and stuff like that.
He's already in his forties!
Entry number one!
Forties!
Youngest!
The oldest!
Entry number two!
The other day...
I was doing something cowardly!
Oh, really?
Yes.
I was eating.
And there was a dead end, like a private room.
And like, what do you call it? Iron bars...
Like... Iron bars?
Like...
They're rough!
So you can't see over there, but...
Since I came in, like...
It was a noisy, noisy, stupid family!
There was a grandma, there was a dad...
There was a kid, like a child actor...
"Hey, ice cream's here!" Like that.
Hey, ice cream! Ice cream!
It's not like they'd bring kids over here.
These kids, with their iron bars...
I don't know, I can't see them!
Maybe, but...
Gara gara gara gara gara...
It's not like they're opening it...
Bara bara bara bara bara...
Without making a sound.
Bara bara bara bara bara...
Sometimes it's like BANG! BANG!
It hits you in the head
Sometimes it's like BANG! BANG!
Like now, everyone's like "Pull it over here!"
But brother, that's...
Even kids do it!
Even kids do it?!
I've been hit like ten times already and I only got it back once!
No, it's not like that
Like now, when they complain about something and their parents don't listen to them, they'll say something like...
You've got some nerve, haven't you?
What's wrong?
And then they'll get all tense and they'll open up and say...
Hi, I'm a turtle!
Let me talk to the kids!
I won't say anything!
No, you won't!
I won't say anything!
No, you won't!
I won't say anything!
No, you won't!
That's cowardice!
No, you won't!
It's tough if you do that!
You'll kick me, too!
No, you won't!
But it's tough if you do that!
No, you won't!
That's a suggestion.
I won't say anything.
That's right.
You're totally into it.
Totally.
It's the opposite version of "Tiger's Nest".
The safest thing right now is to have a lot of kids.
What is?
A lot of things.
What's safe?
Walking around with kids everywhere is the safest thing.
What's safe?
This is a question for Bad Monster, who likes the circle in "Animal Park".
Circle?
The circle in "Animal Park".
Yes, the circle.
What kind of rabbit is "Kawaisa Zero" that Bad Monster used to have?
Please tell us.
There was one.
Oh, really?
Yes.
"Kawaisa Zero".
But it looks like a rabbit, doesn't it?
It looks like a rabbit.
I don't know what "Zero" is.
That's right.
First of all, it's two and a half meters long.
Two...
Can I say it? Can I say it? Can I say it?
Don't say "two"!
Two...
Huh?
If you put "two" in it, it's five meters long.
The other person said "put "two" in it, too.
If you're going to measure it, you're going to measure it.
And you can't do that.
That's where "Kawaisa Zero" comes in.
I don't know if you're going to put "two" in it or not!
It's pooping! It's pooping!
That's cute.
It's cute!
You're like a middle school student.
What happened to it? Did you throw it away somewhere?
I did.
But it's only five meters long!
Is it bad for you?
It'll fly away.
"Throw it away" means it's probably here.
I didn't throw it away!
Look! Look! Look!
It's pooping! It's pooping!
It's pooping!