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This program is brought to you by the following sponsors and is not meant for young people under 18 years of age.]
[This program is brought to you by the following sponsors and is not meant for young people under 18 years of age.]
[Applause and cheers]
- How are you doing lately? - Good!
- How is this early summer? - Early summer...
- Is it going well? In this early summer boom?
- Well, well, well, it's going somewhat well, but... - Ah, is that so?
- I heard you released another song again.
- What a waste.
- You know, I've been telling you to come and ask me for a favor!
- I can't believe you have such a wonderful songwriter.
- Why don't you make a proper song for me?
- I will!
- You've made such a disgusting song!
- You know, it's a funny song because it has a good chorus.
- You don't say that on TV, do you?
- It's a big hit on music stations.
- Is it?
- Of course, "Glass of Tamori" is also a hit.
- I can't believe you.
- Who is the songwriter and composer of "Glass of Tamori"?
- It's an amateur songwriter. - Ah, is that so?
- An absolute amateur songwriter sent me the song.
- And the songwriter rearranged it.
- If that's the case, I'd like you to write a song for me.
- Can you do it?
- Of course, I can.
- You know, there are a lot of them.
- Like what?
- Stuff like stocks.
- There's no point in it, but you made it up.
- To be honest, I don't want to talk about your private life.
- You sound like you care.
- I don't want to, but I have something.
- A tape.
- What do you call it?
- Something you can record.
- Huh?
- A tape recorder.
- You don't have anything to brag about.
- You don't have anyone.
- I put it in the car all the time.
- And if I come up with a phrase, I record it like this.
- I'm serious! I'm serious about this!
- I know you put it in there because you think it's funny.
- But you don't put in a song phrase!
- I do put in a song phrase.
- That's why I have a lot of 60-minute tapes.
- Let me hear you say it.
- It's been a while since I've been here, so I'll listen to it while playing it.
- No, of course, as a system... - Hey, don't say your own phrases!
- Seriously! - Well, I'm a man who studies hard, even if it looks like it.
- But, you know, if you just put in phrases, none of them will come to fruition, right?
- They don't come to fruition, but if you say "Ah, I like that song, I want that song" and it comes to fruition, you add meat to it.
- Ah, you make it come to fruition, right? - Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
- Can you do that? - Of course I can.
- You can do "the"? - Yes.
- Can you do "the"? - Well, if you say you can do it...
- So... - I'd like to listen to it once.
- You know, I don't get many requests, so I wonder what you guys are up to.
- You guys are late!
- I've always wanted to wait for you here. - Ah, I see, I see.
- I'm glad I asked you instead of that bad amateur asking you. - Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
- I see, I see. - So if you say you want it in "love song", you can do it...
- Of course you can do "comical", of course you can do it...
- And, well, how do you say it... like "lambada" or something like that.
- I don't want "lambada"!
- Don't be such an imbecile!
- But "lambada" is going to be a bit of a boom.
- No way! It's been like that for a long time!
- I think "lambada" and... well, shall we talk about this seriously?
- Shall we talk about the boom?
- I think "lambada" and "daikon mochi" will boom.
- "Daikon mochi"? "Daikon mochi"?
- What's "daikon mochi"?
- It's a mochi made of a little bit of Chinese food made of daikon.
- I'm sorry about that!
- But that's the only thing I can say about it!
- You don't know much about it, do you? - No, I don't.
- This is really good! But it's been around for a long time.
- But "daikon mochi" hasn't really spread much, has it?
- I don't know much about it, either. - The "daikon mochi" boom is really coming!
- But you can't eat it in Chinese restaurants, can you? - You can't eat it, can you?
- So it will spread to the general public? - It will spread to the general public, probably.
- That's why "teramis" was really popular for a while, right? - Yes.
Huh?
Just now?
Recently?
Here?
I'm really sorry.
Here?
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
But it's like that.
Really.
Seriously.
What kind of taste is it?
It's not like it's delicious.
It's crispy and the inside is rough.
I don't know!
I really don't know!
It's like me.
You're crispy and the inside is rough?
It's like me.
You can call it "matcha mochi" but it's a different name.
Ah, ah, ah.
It's a different name.
"Matcha mochi".
So it doesn't matter.
Yes, yes, yes.
Make sure you order it.
I'll make it for you.
But really, what kind of song is it?
You want to be number one, right?
Right?
T-then!
If you want to be number one, then!
Hitoshi Matsumoto, Matsumoto Hitoshi.
There's no doubt about it!
I didn't even listen to one song! I made it!
When I listened to it, I was like, "Oh, that's nice!"
I'm sure you're all watching this right now.
Then we'll give you one sample.
I think you should promote it.
It's a comedy song.
It's a love song.
There's one I put in there.
Oh, is there?
I heard it today, so I remembered it.
Does it have a title?
No, I'll put it in later.
Well, it's become acapella now.
Of course it is.
I like you.
There's nothing funny about it!
It's like a love song!
What's with "I like you"?
It's how you start it.
It's okay, it's okay. Listen to it until the end.
This isn't that kind of place yet.
I like you.
There's no lyrics!
What's with the "bam, bam, bam, bam, bam"?
It's not done yet, is it?
No, it's not done yet.
That's where the instruments go in.
bam, bam, bam, bam, bam
If it's like that, do it like this!
Oh, I'm sorry.
I think that's the lyrics.
bam, bam, bam, bam, bam
No, it's not like that.
Why do you only put sounds in after you say two phrases?
Keep singing!
You know, like "tokunaga".
"tokunaga ninyan", right?
"tokunaga ninyan"!
You should've come up with a good one!
Even if you say "anata ga suki"...
If you say it on a music station...
Okay, Hama-chan, you go next.
Please stand by.
This week's first place goes to Hama Yagami.
anata ga suki desu.
Just like that!
There's no prelude or anything like that!
You have to sing it with all your might!
anata ga suki
omai ga suki
nara
bam, bam, bam, bam, bam
dandan, dandan, dandan, dandan
What's with you?!
You're just adding up!
What's with you?!
That's weird!
Why?!
You're always saying "anata ga suki" but you only say it now!
I said it's not finished yet!
It's just a sample!
If you have a request, I'll make it right now!
The instruments started to come in.
So we were like "me too, me too" one by one.
Then we all got together and went forward, and then we all got together again.
At this point, we were all in one.
And you were smiling.
Your glasses were shining.
It's not like they're shining, but...
Ehhhh? That love song?!
It's a love song, right? Because you said you like it!
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is a conversation, right? You said you like it, right?
Ah, I like that kind of thing.
After all, a love song is a man and a woman meeting, right?
I want you to cry more and more.
Eh? What do you mean?
What do you mean by crying?
Eh?
Dun dun dun dun dun dun...
Is it okay for you to cry like that?
Dun dun dun dun dun...
That's...
What, what, what, what?
No, I'm sure you're all moving now.
But you have to give me...
Four, five hundred thousand yen.
Eh?!
What?
The amount you asked for.
Is it that expensive?
No, you don't cry!
Ah, okay, okay.
If it wasn't you, I'd ask for a little more.
But you...
Right? You've known me for a long time.
And you're wearing a red shirt.
Don't cry.
I'm glad it's red.
Ah, really?
Yes, really.
Can I think about it for a moment?
Ah, of course.
Well, if you want it in the audience today...
If you have four, five hundred thousand yen...
I'll give it to you.
But I'm sure it'll sell, right?
Of course! It'll sell like crazy!
What are you looking at?!
Especially you, you're a little thin...
Ah, I hit my shoe.
I have a question for Matsumoto-san, who's just returned from "Black Jack".
Yes?
When you have surgery...
Yes?
If the doctor says "scalp" or "sweat"...
Yes?
Will the nurse who's taking care of you respond immediately?
Yes, yes.
Giving or wiping, right?
Yes, yes, yes.
To what extent of demand will she respond?
Please tell me the limits of surgery.
I see.
Even in dramas...
Right?
They often say...
Well, of course, in dramas...
If you want to see the actual surgery, you'll have to become a patient.
That's right.
But if you become a patient, it means that anesthesia is effective...
That's right, there's nothing wrong with that.
Therefore, it's something that ordinary people will never know about.
In that sense, I'm sure you're all interested in it, right?
Of course.
Well, I...
I understand.
I know.
When I say it...
Really...
Ah, it's nothing. It's nothing simple.
I end up thinking like that...
Basically, it's two words.
Two words?
If it's two words, anything is OK.
I see.
"Ase" (sweat)
"Mes" (female)
Like this...
But...
Is there something longer than "kibu"?
Like "tomeru yatsude" (stop it)
What is "tomeru yatsude"?
I don't know either...
"Tome" (stop)
It's Katakana!
"Tome" (stop) or "ore" (me)
"Nu" (cloth)
"Ore" (me) "Nu" (cloth)
"Nu" (cloth)
That's what you do!
"Ore" (me) "Nu" (cloth)
"Nu" (cloth)
"Kimi" (you) "Nu" (cloth)
"Un" (yes)
"Uso" (lie) "Tsukanai" (don't lie)
"Tsukanai" (don't lie)
That's how it is.
"Tsukanai" (don't lie)
It's just two letters.
No, no, no. For example, what else?
Except for sweat and sweat.
Nose, right?
Huh?
Nose, right?
Nose?!
Yeah.
What do you mean by nose?
It's nose.
Sometimes nose comes out, right?
Then nose definitely comes out.
But you're not wearing a mask, so you can't see it.
Because I can't see it, I can't show it.
I, nose...
No, I mean...
That's ridiculous!
I, nose, come out...
No, it doesn't come out.
It's like this, and then it's like "yes".
It's all two letters.
"Yes", "yes".
Isn't there any other more sincere word?
Isn't there any other between the two words?
Oh, so I can't say anything that's too boring.
Oh, you've opened up your mouth.
Before...
So, when you open it up, you say "mecha".
"Mecha"!
"Mecha", "mecha"!
If it's worse than you thought, you say "mecha".
I won't... do it today.
Only two letters.
That's strange.
Chorus singers often sing while clenching their fists.
What's in those clenched fists?
Could you tell us?
What do you think it is?
There's nothing in it!
No way!
When you sing, if it suddenly becomes a chorus like this, you do it like this, right?
But, you know, there's a reason why only songwriters can sing like that, right?
I don't think there is.
Because other songwriters don't sing like that, right?
First of all, it's rare for songwriters not to sing like that, right?
Kitajima, Saburo, Hosokawa, Takashi...
Umm... who is it?
Umm... Hosokawa, Takashi...
Kitajima, Saburo and Hosokawa, Takashi, there are two of them!
Two of them!
They're all singing like that!
That's because there's a reason why only songwriters can sing like that, right?
Yes.
Or is it a pose? A pose for a songwriter?
Well, before I start singing "Kitajima Saburo", I'd like you to look at me.
As I said, I'm holding something.
Ah, I see.
That's because I'm holding something from the dressing room.
What are you doing?
You're doing your job, aren't you?
That's right.
So you're holding something from the dressing room?
I'm trying to raise the tension, so to speak.
Oh, I see.
So you're trying to raise the tension by holding something?
That way you can raise the tension.
If I say too much, you'll get mad at me, you know?
It's fine, I'll tell you.
It's my favorite food.
Kitajima Saburo is usually holding shumai.
And while singing like this, "I'm going to eat this later!"
And I'm like "Haaaah!"
But after you're done, you become like this, don't you?
That's what I'm trying to do, Saburo-chan.
I'm trying not to crush the green peas.
It's like you're biting your nipples, not putting them in.
That happens to everyone, doesn't it?
Yes, it does.
Matsumoto-san, you've stepped on the tails of countless animals.
Yes, yes.
Which animal gave you the best reaction?
And which one was the worst?
Ah, that's a good one.
For example, have you ever stepped on a dog?
What?
A dog's tail.
Of course it's a dog!
I've stepped on it, but I've also stepped back on it.
I've stepped back on it from the other dog's tail.
Of course there have been dogs as good as that!
Of course, of course.
It's only happened once, though.
So what kind of reaction did you get when you stepped on a dog?
A dog doesn't make any noise.
It doesn't make any noise.
It's not funny at all.
So your reaction wasn't good, right?
It wasn't bad at all.
It wasn't funny at all.
So what was the funniest reaction you got when you stepped on a dog?
I did it!
Is that what you're asking me?
I didn't think of that.
Sorry.
Sorry, sorry.
What?
Sorry, sorry.
No, I mean...
It wasn't a big reaction, right?
Yes, yes.
You didn't think of it at all, right?
Yes, yes, yes.
So what was the funniest reaction you got when you stepped on a dog?
Um... a dog!
A dog?
Yes.
Don't you know what a dog is?
What's a dog like?
Um... it's in Safari.
Safari?
Um... it's like between an island horse and a deer.
I see.
It's a very weak creature.
It can only run away.
So your reaction was good when you stepped on it?
It was good.
What kind of reaction did you get?
I did it!
Seriously!
I really did it!
What do you mean "seriously"?
No, I really did it!
What do you mean "seriously"?
Let's talk about it!
What do you mean "seriously"?
At the stage of "no"...
You don't know what's going on anymore.
Do you understand?
If it's an easy-to-understand animal...
Oh, that animal reacted like that.
You all think about it and laugh about it...
But at the stage of "no"...
You can't even think of the shape of the object...
What? Seriously?
You can't even think of the shape of the object...
You can't even think of it.
And I felt bad about it.
You should have said it more clearly.
Recently, I watched "noo" on TV.
Occasionally.
I think it was amazing.
I wanted to say something like that.
Certainly, when I said "noo",
it was funnier than I thought.
You didn't know it, did you?
But I don't know about that.
Recently, I learned the word "todo no tsumari".
I see.
I don't know when to use it.
I'll teach you how to say "todo no tsumari" correctly.
How about this?
Even if I make a paragraph with "todo no tsumari" and announce it here,
I can't do it.
It's unnatural.
How about putting "todo no tsumari" in the conversation after this?
I see.
The more unnatural it is,
the easier it is to understand.
You said "ego" just now.
I said "ego" just now.
You said "ego".
Put it in properly.
I'll put it in. I'll put it in until the end of the day.
Certainly.
I see.
Then, everyone, put it in properly.
I have a question for Matsumoto-san, who is from Dover Coastal Odan Club.
Why is Ucchan-nanchan's Uchimura-san so white?
If you have a reason, please tell me.
That's quite an outline, isn't it?
Please put "todo no tsumari" in properly.
Yes, I understand.
There's more than one reason for her being so white.
It seems like it.
Various situations overlap and create it.
Oh, is that so?
Yes.
Please explain those situations properly.
First of all, she probably killed a white snake.
First of all, it's a curse from a white snake.
Second of all, she ate too much squid.
Third of all, she got too wrapped up in seeds.
That's funny.
Third of all, it's funny.
In other words...
Why didn't you stop?!
It was natural for you to say it!
Why did you say it at the end?
Because I had a reaction.
I was surprised.
Because of those conditions...
In other words...
It's white.
I see!
This is good!
You solved two questions with one.
This is beautiful.
This is beautiful, isn't it?
This has never happened before.
This has never happened before, hasn't it?
Even if you had a better reaction, you wouldn't have said it.
No, it was good in the beginning.
It was good in the beginning.
Yes.
You can do something like this next, right?
Did you talk about falling squids from your eyes?
What do you want me to do?
You know a time machine, right?
Yes.
A time machine is absolutely impossible, isn't it?
I don't know what you're talking about!
You're just talking in order.
A time machine will never succeed.
I see.
Because...
It has never happened to a human who has time- slipped.
What do you mean?
It has never happened to a human who has time- slipped.
Does anyone know?
Please explain it in an easy-to-understand way.
For example, if a time machine was made about a thousand years later,
we should be able to meet people who have come to modern times in a time machine.
But we have never met someone who has come from the future and said, "I have time-slipped!"
In other words, a time machine will never be completed, no matter how many years pass.
I don't know what you're saying.
This is an amazing story!
Something's different about you.
Why do you all come up to the stage and raise your heads like that?
Ma-chan! Ma-chan!
Hama-chan's Ma-chan! Ma-chan!
Wait a minute.
I don't care about Ma-chan!
What's with Hama-chan's Ma-chan?
That's because I'm thinking about your personality.
If you come up and say, "Ma-chan! Ma-chan!" and I'm the only one who raises my head, you'll end up like this again.
Everyone will end up fighting with Matsumoto anyway.
So, Ma-chan! Ma-chan! Hama-chan's Ma-chan!