AISubs v3.5
♪ Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Akira-chan, happy birthday to you.
Thank you very much!
Next!
Thank you very much!
Thirty-four candles...
The number of candles is increasing, but the number of ashes is decreasing.
That's not good.
Let's start with Mr. Yamasaki.
Thank you very much!
Um, can I skip it?
A celebration? You're skipping a celebration?!
Ok, Endo, you're a talent yourself.
It's been about half a year since I gave a speech at "Gaki no Itsukai ARAHEN" and had my opening speech.
But for the first time...
I can't hide it!
It's already been half a year!
It's been half a year!
You're lucky!
Really?!
You're really lucky!
Endo?!
What's wrong?
I think Endo is funny now.
Ok, let's go to Yamanaki!
Ok, please sing "Mohammad Show".
Please help me.
♪Happy Birthday Dear Matsumo-chan♪
Matsumo-chan?!
♪Happy Birthday To You♪
Thank you!
I want to be beautiful too
Today, we are going to give you a spot
Are you going to give me a spot?
I have to give you a spot
You are not Tanaka!
I am not Tanaka!
Tanaka is sick
If you don't cure him, you will be on this show
I see
Let's welcome Tanaka!
You are cute!
You are good friends and you beat me up
That's not true!
I haven't said anything yet
What do you want me to clean up for you?
Please tell me.
This is it.
I wanted you to take it.
I couldn't help it.
It's EVO.
And it's pretty bad.
What is this? Is it a boy?
Is there such a thing?
I don't know.
EVO.
Another name is NEWTOWSHU.
This is caused by EVO.
The epidermis has increased dramatically.
It's like a mushroom.
So this time, we're going to fight against EVO.
Even when I took off my pants, it was still EVO.
Oh, you were talking about it just now.
I'm attracted to it.
Have you ever been caught?
No, I haven't been caught before.
When the fight started, I was watching this side.
And the girl was watching me.
What's going on?
EVO
Let's go home.
I'm sorry.
That was funny.
Endo, you're good at this.
Of course.
That was funny.
I have a lot of power.
I don't like it.
Take it off.
Take it off!
You're like a strange father.
He attacked again.
But "EVO" didn't win.
I have a high possibility.
What is it?
Hypnotic food therapy.
I see.
Take a bite out of its root.
Can you do me a favor?
Sure.
Wait a minute.
Sure.
I'm going to put a motocude in here.
I see.
I'm afraid that this dog will eat up this motocude along with the motocude.
I don't know.
This is the motocude.
It's going to eat me.
Don't worry.
Look at this.
Eddie!
This is a big one.
It's there!
Hang in there! Hang in there! Hang in there!
It's there!
Now, now, now!
How about this one?
It's there!
Eddie's diamond is really attached to it.
It's sticky.
I've never seen it like this before.
As expected, they didn't like it.
They didn't even eat the motocude.
Well, there's nothing we can do about it.
Next, we're going to do what it's called.
We're going to do what it's called.
The motocude is driving with a gasoline engine.
It's going to eat the motocude with its sharp teeth.
Okay, let's fight!
Let's go!
Let's do our best!
Let's be beautiful!
It's just a motocude.
It's turning so much!
It's turning!
How is it?
You have to try this!
Why?
If you win inside, it spins!
What is it with you?
Of course it's the teeth.
What is it with you?
But it's spinning inside.
That's not it!
That's not it.
The stick I put on my head...
What is it with you?
I'm not doing it for you.
What do you want?
I just want you to win the stick.
I just want you to win this part.
I can't do that!
You can't do it, right?
You can't do it!
I understand.
Next, let's be more gentlemanly.
Hamada-style English gentlemanly manner.
Mr. Hamada!
A golf ball with a string attached to the stick.
Mr. Hamada swings it.
Nice shot!
Seriously...
I want you to win the stick.
Yes.
I'm going to swing it!
You can't do it, right?
I don't like it if you can't do it.
It's stuck in my leg!
It's stuck in your leg.
It's not a golf ball.
It hurts!
Wait a minute!
I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
What are you doing?
Let's go to Tanaka-kun.
Yes, please!
Thank you for your help.
Ouch!
Did you get it?
Ouch!
Did you get it?
It hurts!
Hamada's bullet swing didn't work either.
And finally...
NASA-style jet propulsion system.
NASA?
The rocket and Tanaka's net are connected with a string and the engine starts.
They fly to the other side of the universe!
This rocket can fly about 20 meters.
Can you fly more?
Yes!
Please!
This is really...
Okay, Tanaka-kun, let's try four times!
Okay, let's go!
Yes, please!
Tanaka-kun! Congratulations!
Let's go!
Did you get it?
It hurts!
Ouch!
Why can't I get it?
It can't be helped, Tanaka.
I did my best.
I can't do it.
Go to the hospital.
It's too early.
You should go to Yomiuri Land.
It's a hospital.
Why didn't you go from the beginning?
Why didn't you take me to the hospital from the beginning?
You didn't need me, did you?
Tanaka went to the hospital.
What will happen to EVO?
It hurts, doesn't it?
It does.
You're 34, after all.
It's my birthday today.
It's your birthday today.
Thank you.
It's not your birthday today.
It's my parents'.
Oh, it's your parents'.
But you know what?
I'm not going to get a surprise present like that.
Who brought this today?
I didn't!
You didn't have to bring it home.
Where did you get it from?
I did get it from somewhere.
But I didn't really get anything.
They gave me suits and stuff like that.
And they gave me food that looked like me.
Oh, I see.
Food that looked like me.
Food that looked like you.
I can't say for sure.
Well, I did eat it, though.
You ate it?!
Well, I did eat it, though.
I don't think you can do that when you're 34.
I wonder why.
I don't know why you can't do it.
Maybe it's because you're an old man.
He probably doesn't know either.
Maybe it's because I'm heavy.
That doesn't matter!
You can't say you're heavy because you're an old man!
You can tell by your looks!
You're heavy!
You're an old man, and you're like...
Ha! Ha!
Ah, you're heavy!
Laugh, you two!
What are you doing?
You said it!
I'm sorry, you two.
What do you want?
A present.
No, but I'm an old man...
But other than that...
Other than that, what do you want?
What do you want?
I don't have anything.
What do you have?
I don't have anything, but...
I don't have anything.
Well, if I had to say...
Seven and a half.
You can't ride it.
I can!
You can't ride it.
I can ride stuff like this.
No, you can't.
And there's a lot more.
There's stuff like this.
It's fun!
You know?
I guess you do...
Stuff like this.
You wanna ride it?
You want me to ride it?
I guess you do.
And a camp set.
One person can't do it all at once.
Oh, really? One person...
Do you mean one fan?
No!
For example, one fan bought me a fan.
Yeah, yeah, I know, I know.
That's not how you do it.
Yeah, I know, I know.
Then, a camp set.
One person can't do it all at once.
Split it up!
Seven fans!
We split it up.
That's not how you split it up!
There's a camp set, and there's a tent...
And there's a barbecue...
One person can't do it all at once.
I see.
I wonder if you can't understand my charm...
Who is it now?
You know, like...
Beach Boys.
Yeah, "Beach Boys."
Those two guys...
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, it was amazing!
Yeah.
He just appeared from the stairs...
And went "Giiiiiiaaaaaaah!"
And then...
He just went "Giiiiiiaaaaaaah!"
And then...
He went...
Giiiiiiaaaaaah!
And then...
And then he closed his mouth and put it back in!
And when he put it back in... "Giiiiiiaaaaaah!"
And it never ends!
Well, well, well...
Is that how popular it is?
Well, I'll say it anyway...
Even if you do it, it's not very interesting...
If you don't become like me...
What's up with you today?
Are you bored?
You know...
If you become like me...
What's up with you?
Try moving it!
I'm obviously faster than normal people!
How do you want me to move it?
Try moving your finger...
It's so slow!
It's like in Japan!
Try moving your tongue...
How do you want me to do it?
Try moving your tongue...
I can't do it!
I'm scared!
I can't do it!
Good evening!
I have a question for Mr. Matsumoto, who has bought a mahr lion before.
Yes, yes, yes...
I also want to buy a mahr lion...
But I can't find it in any pet shop...
I think about mahr lions and I can't sleep at night...
Yes...
So, Mr. Matsumoto...
Please tell me how to catch and raise them correctly.
Yes...
How far do you know about mahr lions?
Where is mahr lion?
It's in Singapore!
Yes, yes...
It has a lion-like face and a fish-like mouth, right?
Yes, yes...
But I don't have one...
No, you don't...
Because you bought it...
And you killed two of them...
In a traffic accident...
You dragged it while you were walking!
It doesn't have hands or legs because it's a fish!
Because you killed it...
I definitely bought it...
Where did you buy it?
First of all, you can't buy it in a pet shop...
It's in Singapore!
Yes, yes...
When I bought it, it was like this...
Oh, I see...
So, it was like this...
What is that?
It's water...
I know, but...
No, I don't like that kind of bokeh...
It was like water coming out of my mouth...
I was still a child...
And you brought it back?
Yes, I brought it back...
Yes, yes...
So, it was hard to bring it back...
After all, if you pile up several plastic bags and don't bring them back...
Your bag will get wet...
That...
What is that?
Lotion?
No...
What are you talking about?
Water comes out of my mouth!
No, I don't like that bokeh...
No, it's not bokeh!
When you say "merlion", water comes out of your mouth!
I don't like that!
Tell me about real things!
Ah!
No, I want to know what you were eating when you were alive.
Nothing.
I want to know about that, but you keep saying "merlion", water comes out of your mouth!
I guess you're right about that, but...
Leave it.
What? What? What?
If you were buying it...
I was buying it.
You have it, don't you?
What?
What you were eating.
Ah, bananas and stuff like that.
You're a lion, aren't you?
I'm a lion.
Are you eating bananas?
I eat bananas and stuff like that.
I see.
Yeah.
I see.
You were holding something together.
I don't feel like doing it anymore.
What do you mean you don't feel like doing it?
I don't feel like doing it anymore.
This toothpick again...
Does it make you angry?
No, it doesn't make me angry, but...
Does it hurt a little?
Matsumoto-san has been too cute lately!
I don't know!
Please be less cool!
Isn't it too cute?
What should we do?
Please be less cool!
I think so too.
But it can't be helped.
What can't be helped?
Being too cute.
For example, most of today's guests are dressed like this because they think I'm cute.
Of course!
That's where I'm in trouble.
And I've always been like that.
What?
I've always been cute.
Really?
When I was young, my teacher used to tease me.
I've always been like that.
I've always been teased.
When I go to work, the manager touches me.
I don't know how to be cool.
It's kind of dull.
It's dull, but it's funny.
Well, that's fine.
Does anyone think I'm cute?
Do you think I'm cute?
Not a single person thinks I'm cute!
It's just a little bit, but I'm depressed.
Well, that's fine!
That's fine!
Right, Maruo-san?
Not a single one!
No, no, it's fine!
That's reality!
I'm not telling you to make it pretty, but you have to stand in front of people to some extent.
It's dirty!
If you do it properly, people will think you're cool.
It's dirty!
Is that so?
You don't do it enough!
I'm always wearing slippers, so I'm scared of this.
You're scared of it yourself?
But you can go in and out of the entrance by yourself, right?
I'm wearing this and riding a Jaguar, right?
Jaguars are also scared of it.
Jaguars have eyes in front of them.
No, no, no, I didn't mean it like that.
I didn't mean it like that at all.
You should have done it properly.
Then, I will show you how to buy a Merlion.
No, no, I will buy it.
Oh, I see.
Thank you.
Excuse me.
He is depressed.
You should have done it properly.
Excuse me.
I brought it.
What is it?
Merlion.
Oh, forget it.
Forget it.
I brought it.
It's dirty and gross.
I have it.
It's gross.
Who are you?
How can you take it off so easily?
There is a root part.
Oh, it's white.
That's a root part.
This is a root part.
Drink it.
You idiot!
Why do you drink it?
Drink it.
You idiot!
This is impossible.
Show me how you take it off.
If you don't like it...
You can't take it all off.
Show me how you do it.
I'm glad you like it.
It's beautiful.
I'm glad you like it.
Thank you.
I'm glad you like it.
If it had been like this, it wouldn't have been so long.
I'm begging you.