AISubs v3.5
First, in Gaki no Tsukai Ara Ende, Chiki Chiki Miyaji CEO's dramatic action cue!
And so, this time, I, Yamazaki Osaki, will...
Osaki?!
That's my name! That's my name!
I'll be giving you a special quiz using that Miyaji CEO!
Let's introduce our panelists!
Downtown Tsukkomi, Hamadan Masatoshi!
Hello, hello.
Today we're doing a quiz with that Miyaji CEO, but are you confident?
Is there anything you want to see Miyaji-san do quickly?
You're so down-to-earth!
And last but not least...
Masumoto Hitoshi!
Um, about today's quiz...
Until now, Yamazaki-san, you've given me a lot of instructions, but...
I don't feel like you've given me all of them.
Why are you laughing?!
You're so funny!
I can't say it with the firmness of my heart.
It hurts when you hold it like that!
Next up...
Let's have Tanaka-san, who gave us this quiz!
Thank you!
How do you feel about this quiz?
Huh?!
How do you feel about this quiz?
Of course I'll guess it right and try to get it right.
I'll do my best, since I'm young.
Okay, let's react one by one.
Um, like the first question.
Will I get it wrong?
I'll answer seriously, right?
Please answer seriously!
Okay!
Please answer seriously!
Then where should I get it wrong?
If you have time, I'd like you to keep making fun of me.
I can't do it!
That's why I'll pick up all of it!
Aren't you a god?!
Aren't you a laughing god?!
Aren't you all gods?!
What are you saying?!
Fat producer, Suga Kenji!
Good evening! Thank you for having me!
Good evening!
Hey!
You have a good smile, don't you?!
Huh?!
You have a good smile, don't you?!
You shouldn't have said that attitude!
It was good, wasn't it?!
Yes.
The winner will receive...
100,000 yen from me!
100,000 yen?!
Are you serious?!
Show me!
How much money is in your pocket?!
Show me!
Then do you have a wallet?
I do have a wallet.
It's that expensive?!
I haven't established it yet!
What is it?! I don't know!
Say it! Say it!
Then I'll say it again!
The winner will receive...
My...
Ah, this is yours, Mr. Yamazaki!
Then is this enough?!
Yes.
The winner will receive...
My...
This program is brought to you by the following sponsors.
Now then, let's go with the first question!
With everyone, "dramatic action tune"!
Kitamachi martial arts, Toyama Saemon nojou-sama, please rise!
At ease!
From now on, for one year...
For one year, Kyosei Y-fights!
For once, everyone!
Raise your heads!
Why is Otama speaking in English?
Yugi!
Is it true that your father was forced into prostitution for a year in order to make amends for his sins?
Yes, that is correct.
How did your father die?
He grabbed me by both hands and was thrown up and down.
Now, did you have any intention of doing that for a year?
Even so, your father!
Unfortunately, I have no idea what you are talking about!
Who are you talking to?
Shut up!
Sooner or later...
Your evil deeds...
This Toyama cherry tree...
Will be completely wiped out!
You can't say that!
Stop!
Now, here is the question.
How many times can Yugi use her left and right breasts in 30 seconds?
So you want me to combine them?
Yes, combine them.
Ok, Hamada-san.
Yes?
110 times.
110 times!
Matsuma-san!
It's not much for me, but...
87. Combine both sides and get 87.
Combine both sides?
Yes, left and right.
Oh, is that so?
Yes.
What will you do?
"Is that so?" you say. "Didn't you ask?" you say.
Why did you want me to say that?
Hey, you. Stop the camera.
Hey, stop the camera.
Let's do our best.
Come on, seriously.
I'm sorry.
You said you'd do your best.
I did say that.
Ok, let's go!
120 times.
120 times!
We'll do it in close range.
Yes, close range.
You can't go over 1000.
Matsuma-san, go!
121 times!
Ok, let's see the correct answer!
Dramatic action!
Cue!
You're crazy!
Miyotaro, go and stand there!
We're not done yet!
Miyotaro, go and stand there!
Ok, Miyagi-san. Do you know what this is?!
I don't know why that girl is like that.
She has a nice expression.
Her expression is also nice.
The right breast is 85 times, and the left breast is 127 times!
In total, it's 212 times!
That means...
There is no correct answer!
If it's 212, it's wrong.
If it's more than that, it's out.
It's not more than that!
It's 210 times.
Eh, that's right!
It's the second time.
Let's do our best.
Everyone is correct!
Miyagi-san wins!
One point!
Easy win!
Let's move on to the next question!
Miyagi-san's dramatic action!
Cue!
Why won't you talk to me?!
I am Mupa Sansei, the world-famous dancing king!
On the contrary, especially for girls, I will show you my heart!
This is my first prize!
Thank you!
It's a little quiet, but let's work!
Work!
There are five rupees hanging on the stage.
Using that magic hand, how many can you put on your head in one minute?
Dramatic action!
Cue!
Yumai used to be like that!
At this tempo!
He was like a disciple!
Sensei!
Sensei, I'm working!
Fujimoto!
Six cards!
Yes!
Ah, sun, sun!
Ah, it hurts!
All kinds of...
Ah, I'm tired!
Fujimoto!
Can I say something?
Director Murai's...
Dramatic action!
Cue!
I was raised on Kazushika Island!
My target...
My target is you!
My last name is Kuruma!
My first name is Torajiro!
Ah, welcome, welcome!
My blood is full of blood, my guts are full of guts, and my wife is full of blood.
So, today, this champagne...
That's right! This champagne!
You see, France is...
What are you saying?
What's up with that? You're scaring me, Tanjiro!
That's no good!
What?
That's no good!
Stop!
I don't know what you're talking about.
Let me explain.
Trash-san was about to sell champagne, but...
I see.
There are these five bottles of champagne.
The problem is how many seconds you can open all of them.
Two and a half minutes, right?
Two and a half minutes!
Well, it takes about 30 seconds per bottle.
Hit me in a better place!
Make some noise!
Matsumoto-san!
Twenty-eight seconds!
That's how long it takes!
Well, sometimes the pacemaker stops halfway through.
The pacemaker!
It's not about your heart.
Me! Eleven minutes!
Eleven minutes!
That's a long time!
What is this?
Isn't it that long?
One bottle takes about...
One bottle takes about one and a half minutes.
One and a half minutes is six minutes for you!
I didn't say a word!
I just said it.
Hold it like this and hit me!
It hurts!
Hold it like this and hit me!
Oh, really?
I understand.
Then you stop it.
I'll stop it.
I understand.
Are you running out of time today?
Yes, I am.
Let's talk for a bit.
I understand. I'm sorry.
Well, last but not least!
Matsumoto-san!
One minute and twenty-five seconds!
Dramatic action cue!
I'm not here!
That's fast!
That's really fast!
Gramps, you can't look this way!
That's really fast!
That's fast!
That's really fast, Gramps!
Wow!
Really?!
And the winner is...
One minute and twenty-five seconds, Suga-senshu!
Congratulations!
Who said that?!
The winner of 2 points, Suga-san!
Thank you very much!
Yamasaki, are you okay with it?
We'll do it next.
Don't say "yes" right away.
I'm very confident that we can do better.
I'm very confident.
Try it!
We'll do it.
Let's move on to the next question!
Is it only one person?
We don't limit it to one person.
So is there a reversal?
Of course! If it wasn't for that, we'd like to do it too.
If you win, you'll get 2 points.
It's a reversal.
It's a reversal!
3 points!
We don't need 3 points!
Where are you going?
You guys!
3 points!
Let's do our best!
Let's do it!
3 points!
Yeah, I think so, too.
I said it before, but I don't know why.
Why?
You're the only one who knows!
I was in the car and I smelled like poop.
It smelled like poop a lot.
I opened the window and couldn't get it out.
I looked in my slippers and it smelled like poop.
That's fine.
You know the reason.
I know the reason.
I don't know where it smelled like poop.
You should have thought about it before you got in the car.
Before I got in the car?
I didn't poop while I was getting from the apartment to the parking lot.
You did.
What kind of place do I live in?
I don't know if you pooped in front of the door for a prank.
There should be a poop mark when you get home.
No, you stepped on it all.
I washed it clean.
You didn't leave any.
I stepped on it like I was scooping it up.
That's impossible.
And...
And that was it.
You were wearing slippers and you were happy about it, right?
Yeah, I was happy about it.
I didn't smell like poop in the car when I got home.
I thought it was completely solved.
I went home and took a shower.
I took a shower and went to bed.
When I got on the bed, it smelled like poop again.
I see.
It's you!
No, it's not! No, it's not! No, it's not! It's you!
It's one of the seven mysteries.
It smelled like poop again, and I wondered why.
And I fell asleep that day.
You slept well, didn't you? You got in the bed and smelled like poop.
And I smelled like poop again the next day.
Of course you did. You did it before you fell asleep.
And of course I got in the bath and fell asleep the next day.
But when I got back in the bed, it smelled like poop again.
And I wondered why. And I looked up and it was you, right?
Yes, yes.
And I looked up and it smelled like poop!
I wondered why!
No, it's not!
No, it's really you!
You can't lie like that!
Why did you say it smelled like poop?
It was really brown.
It was brown like this.
Where?
From the back.
How do you know where it smelled like poop?
But I got in the bath and smelled like poop!
It was you! Why did you say it smelled like poop?
Nobody knows!
You know it little by little!
Little by little?
Little by little...
You know it little by little!
Little by little...
No, it's not like that...
Why?!
It's not like that!
Tell me it's not like that as a partner!
But you...
Only outsiders can think like that!
You even take a shower and sleep!
It's strange...
Not today?
It didn't rain today?
It didn't rain today.
Well, it rained on my pants, though.
No, it's not like that!
It's not like that?!
You should worry about me more!
I don't care!
It's not like that!
Why?!
Why is it not like that?!
I'm so angry!
I'm really angry!
I don't know at all...
It's fine...
Strange things happen when you're alive...
Oh, I thought I should talk about it in public...
About what?
There's something called "sazaibon", right?
Yeah, yeah...
I came up with it!
You wrote it in an evening program in Osaka, didn't you?
Yeah, yeah...
Just once, right?
Yeah, about ten years ago...
"sazaibon", "sazaibon"... Everyone has it now, right?
Every time I see it, I get angry!
It's been a while since it came out of court, hasn't it?
What the hell is this?!
But you're a judge!
Why are you backing up?!
Back up and come forward!
This is where it gets serious!
Yeah, yeah!
You're a judge!
You back up every time you go to court!
Yeah, yeah!
You back up every time you come forward!
Yeah, yeah!
It's a "choro ball" game!
You're a judge!
Don't do this!
I've done this so many times on this show!
I bet you've done this on so many other VTRs!
Well, you know...
I'll do it.
Are you serious?
Seriously, do it!
But you'll have to back me up.
Back you up for what?
When I say "Wow!", you say "Yeah, yeah, yeah!"
You say "Yeah, yeah, yeah!"
Why do you back me up?
You say "Yeah!"
I don't need your "Yeah, yeah, yeah!"
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Go ahead.
I'll do it soon.
Okay, got it.
You can't do that!
I can't!
Mr. Hamada, when you broke your leg, you carried him around the hospital in the middle of the night.
I'd like to ask you about how you feel about this.
Yes.
If you have any emergency measures you have to do before you go to the hospital, please let me know.
This is not a joke.
No, it's not.
It's not like you can do it.
Why is that?
Those with shape are said to be broken.
It's not like that.
Speaking of which, of course you go to the hospital, right?
I go to the hospital.
If you have any emergency measures you have to do before you go to the hospital, please let me know.
I understand.
Do you have macaroons?
Do you have macaroons, macaroons?
Whose is that?
Whose is it now?
No, it's me.
Macaroons, of course.
It's really easy.
It's a scratch.
The biggest problem is that you put it like this, right?
You put it like this, right?
You've never been put in a place like this, right?
Right?
In one place, right?
That's right.
And if you put it like this, your tongue becomes flat.
What are you doing?
That's why I want you to use your toothpick or something like that to make legs for him.
I don't like Twitter!
I don't have any!
That's the biggest problem.
Um, I like Suzuki too.
I don't like Suzuki at all.
What's wrong with you?
In one magazine, Mazumoto-san said that Hamada injured his leg, but in reality it's more serious illness.
In reality, what illness are you suffering from?
But this is...
Wait, wait!
Right?
I'm healthy except for my leg.
You're a friendly crab.
No, I won't bite you.
But if I say this...
There's a lot of predictions in it, so it's really bad.
I asked him later, "Don't you have enough glasses?"
I looked it up and he really didn't have enough glasses.
No way.
It's not like that.
You know, there was a disaster.
Why are you whispering?
It's true.
No, I'm not lying.
There was a disaster.
Yes, there was.
At the time, everyone was wearing glasses and sleeping in bed.
Suddenly it was 9 o'clock and everyone rushed out of the house.
After that, everyone didn't have glasses and it was a real problem.
I was the one who was snoring.
It's not like that.
In fact, the whole family...
I'm in the school club activities and I'm in the track and field team.
My teacher tells me to speak up when I throw.
So, please tell me how to speak up and what words I should say to throw far away.
By the way, when I ask my friends, it seems like I'm saying, "Orya!"
Along with your voice, please translate "Maboroshi no Touhou" into "Diamond One Year Special 97" for me.
Is there a "Diamond One Year Special"?
Yes, there is.
- There is? - Yes, there is.
- So you want me to tell you about it? - Yes, I'll tell you about it.
There's no such thing as "four dragons" like "Touhou".
I'll tell you about it.
"Diamond One Year Special"!
Let's throw a diamond.
Orya!
You're not motivated. You're doing cicada things.
And what's important is the aftermath.
"Uwaa!" and then "Uwaa!"
I'll get used to it.
Hey, Diamond Spe...
"Orier" is no good.
The best word is...
"Tsumitatsu".
"Tsumitatsu"!
Mr. Shimura, that's enough.
When you're on the train...
Yes, yes, that's good.
Sometimes you fall asleep.
That happens a lot!
Sometimes you hit your head against the rear window.
How do you react?
It's cool, isn't it?
Well, you know...
I quit on the first floor, so it's no good.
You know...
It's like this...
Ah, this is bad!
Then you run properly!
You're mad at yourself.
You're mad at yourself!
You don't run properly!
I see.
Diamond, you're being watched!